THEHOBOHANDBOOK

AFieldGuide

TOLivingBYYourOwnRulesJOSHMACK

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ForJoanne

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To all those who had the vision and fortitude to forge their ownway, often by necessity, and who have helped to foster andmaintainasenseofcreativespontaneityandpersonalfreedominaworld increasingly driven by logarithms. Your impact, though sorarely acknowledged, cannot be overestimated. Personally, I amindebted to Brendan O’Neill and Wendy Simard for their endlesspatience,skill,andattention.Thanksforthat.AndfinallytoAlyssa,ahomesteader inskillandatheart,youare theengine inmy life.Blessyou.

CONTENTS

HOBOAPTITUDETESTWHYDOYOUWANTTOBEAHOBO?(IFIT’SFORTHEFAMEANDFORTUNE,YOU’REOUTOFLUCK)

INTRODUCTIONTHENEWHOBOCODE

CHAPTER1:GettingStartedTHEHOBOEVOLUTION

CHAPTER2:GettingReadyTRAVELINGLIGHTORHEAVY

CHAPTER3:GettingGoingWHEREAREYOUGOINGANDHOWWILLYOUGETTHERE?

CHAPTER4:GettingSettledFINDINGABEDFORTHENIGHTAND,IDEALLY,AMEAL

CHAPTER5:GettingBy“REAL”-WORLD:CONSIDERATIONS

CHAPTER6:GettingGoing(Again)AWISEHOBOISAHAPPYHOBO

CHAPTER7:GettingOutofaJamWAIT,WHAT?I’MARRESTED?ANDOTHERSTICKYSITUATIONS

CONCLUSION

REMEMBERINGWHEREYOU’VEBEEN

APPENDIXATIPSFORTHEMODERN-DAYHOBO

APPENDIXBTHEHOBOCOOKBOOK

APPENDIXCESSENTIALMACGYVERSKILLS

NOTE

RESOURCES

INDEX

HoboAptitudeTestWHYDOYOUWANTTOBEAHOBO?

(IFIT’SFORTHEFAMEANDFORTUNE,YOU’REOUTOFLUCK)

In order to gauge yourpotential readiness to tackle someofwhatlies ahead,whether it’s eating nothing but bulgurwheat for threedays in the winter while waiting for a train out of Deadwater,Maine, or scrubbing latrines for a fewbucks at a national park inColorado, take a few minutes and plumb the depths of yourresiliencebyansweringthequestionsbelow.

It can’t be stressed enough how dangerous hopping freighttrains can be. Accidents can result in amputations and areoftenfatal.

You’rethinking:

1.Neverthoughtitwouldbeotherwise.I’mlikeacat.Noworries.

2.Ithoughtthatmightbethecase.I’llcheckitout,talktosomepeoplethathavedoneit,andtakeitfromthere.Ifit’stoocrazy,I’llfindanothermodeoftransportation.

3.Whoa,thatdoesn’tsoundsogood.Iwashopingforsomethingdifferent.Don’tthinkI’llbetryingthis.

4.Ofcourseitisdangerous!Whatnutjobwouldthinkotherwise?Ilikemylifethewayitis.

Despite what many might think, hopping freight trains andlivingahairoutsideofsociety’sreachisn’taconstantfastrushof excitement, bouncing fromone place to another. There’s alotofwaiting,forhoursandevensometimesdays.

You’rethinking:

1.Whatever,I’mawesomeatmakingthemostofthetimethatIhave.Icanentertainmyselfforhours.

2.Ikindafiguredthat.NobiggieaslongasIhaveagoodbook.

3.Thatsucks,butwhat’reyougonnado?Can’tcontrollife.

4.There’snothingIhatemorethanwaiting.Ilosemymindjustwaitinginlineforacupofcoffee.IthinkI’llfindanotherwaytogetaround.

Alotofthepeopleyou’llbemeetingareabitmore“outthere”than thepeopleyoumetat thepoetry slamwhoyou thoughtwere“outthere.”Mostfolksaregood,butlikeanywhere—nowevenmoreso—peoplecanbe...“challenging.”

You’rethinking:

1.That’sjustwhatI’mlookingfor.

2.Icanhandlewhatevercomesmyway.

3.Hmmm...Iwaskindahopingnottomeetanybody.

4.Forgetit,justthethoughtcreepsmeoutandmakesmewanttowatchaDisneymovieinstead.

Dining on the road can be monotonous and a little rougharoundtheedges.

You’rethinking:

1.I’munfazed.Foodisjustanotherwordfornourishment,andtastinessisjustanunnecessaryluxury.Icouldeatpeanutbutterandricecakestillthecowscomehome,andjustricecakesifthereisn’tanypeanutbutter;iftherearen’tanyricecakes,I’lleatthecrumbsfromthebottomofthebag,andifeventhoseareallgone,Icanalwayscatchagrasshopper.

2.I’mnottooworried.Icanmakedo,anddon’tneedanythingtoofancy.ThoughI’dgoalittlehungrybeforedumpsterdiving.

3.Well,howrougharewetalking?

4.Forgetit.Iliveforgourmetgrub,andminusthatthere’sjustnoreasonformetopushforth.

Living the hobo lifestyle pretty much guarantees the end ofsteady paychecks. There is no job security, and not muchopportunityforadvancement.Aftertwoyearsofbeingahobo—although you’ll be amore experienced hobo—you’re still ahobo.Thefreightcarswillstillbethesame,andyouwon’tget

torideaniceronebecauseofseniority.

You’rethinking:

1.Iamcreatinganewparadigm,andwillmanufacturemyownadvancementsandwilldowhatisneeded.Whenthetimecomes,I’llmakedo.

2.Duh.IfIhadagreatjobandwastotallyhappy,wouldIevenbeconsideringthisinthefirstplace?

3.Whatever,Idon’tplanonbeingahoboforever,andwhileIamI’llmakethemostoftheadventureandworryabouta401(k)wheneverItireoftraveling—ordevelopasenseofmortality.Whichevercomesfirst.

4.Thiswholeideasoundscrazytome.

Doyouwant tobeahoboormoreofa freewheeling travelerforafewmonths?Ahoboisapersonwhoselifetakesplaceontheroad,andwhoearnshismoneybyworkingwhateverjobscomehisway.

You’rethinking:

1.I’mreallyintothis.I’mtiredofwhatIdoandnotlookingforwardtowhatcurrentlyliesaheadofme.Ineedsomethingdifferent.

2.Ihavenoideawhatahoboisordoes,butIwanttobeone.

3.Aneco-tourismtourwillmakemefeellikeahobo,right?

4.Yeah,Igetwhatahobois,andifIstopandthinkaboutit,I’m

notintoitatall.Cabo,hereIcome.

Areyoupreparedtoliveyourlifemovingfrommakeshifthometo makeshift home, sometimes camping by the side of therailroad tracks while waiting for the next train or findingcouchestocrashon,andwhenneitherisavailable,seekingoutthebest-lookingditchyoucanfindtoputupyourflag?

You’rethinking:

1.Icansleepanywhere,andImeananywhere.Sitting,standing,lyingdown,inmotion,still,treerootsundermyback,pillow,nopillow,inside,outside—it’sallthesametome.

2.I’mprettyopen-minded,butsleepinginaditchisn’tsomethingI’mplanningon.Now,sleepinginacornfield,thatIcanhandle.

3.Iamplanningontakingmylifeontheroad,butI’mthinkingmorealongthelinesofcrashingonotherpeople’scouchesandstayinginhostelswhenIhaveto.Whenitcomestocamping,theclosestIcancomeissleepinginatentwithinwalkingdistanceofsomecampsitebathroomsandshowers.

4.Dude,you’rekiddingme,right?WhyamIreadingthisbook?

Areyoudaydreamingaboutcomfortable,scenic,andslowridesinanopenboxcar thatwillgently rockyou to sleep?Today’strains, though still trains, are a different breed from thosetraversing the country in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

Today’strainsmovefast,don’tmakehalfasmanystopsastheyusedto,andpullintoyardsthataresurroundedbysecurity.

You’rethinking:

1.Funschmun.Thisisbusiness.

2.Hey,thatwasthen,thisisnow.I’lltakewhatIcanget.Norose-coloredglassesonthisguy.

3.Aslongasthere’saworkingbathroom,IthinkI’llbeOK.

4.IfI’mnotgonnabesittingonacooltrainwithahugeopenwindowfacingtheworldaswepassbyherdsofwildhorses,myinterestinallofthisisprettymuchlessthannothing.

There’s a mystique surrounding the hobo making himsomethingakintothelonecowboywhohastokeeprambling,moving off into the sunset. The reality ismore that you’ll becleaning out somebody’s basement and hiding in a lot ofbusheswhilewaitingforatrain.

You’rethinking:

1.That’sawesome!

2.Well,notquitewhatIwasexpecting,butthingscan’talwaysberocketshipsandfireworks.

3.Onsecondthought,IthinkI’llpass.

4.Can’tsaytheideaeveroccurredtometoput“romantic”and“hobo”inthesamesentenceinthefirstplace.

Expecting a spiritual transformation along the way that thatwillbringyousixstepsfartherfromaVisaandonestepcloserto the Buddha? A few days covered in road grime withoutanythingtosleeponbutsomebatteredcardboardmightmakea little help from a credit card seem to trump any gleanedwisdomfromtheBuddha.

You’rethinking:

1.Visa,alongwitheveryothercreditcard,existspurelytopreyonpeople.Iwilldoeverythingpossibletodenythemthepleasure.

2.I’malreadyaBuddhistanddon’tblamethecorporations—they’rejustanillusionanyway.

3.Yeah,creditcardssuck,buttheyserveapurpose—oneofthembeingthatafterafewweeksofsufferingwithaninestimablenumberofcoffeegroundsstuckinmyteethfromdrinkingcowboybrewIcangointoaStarbucksandorderaventisoylattewithanextrashotwithoutevenadimeinmypocket.TheBuddhaiscoolandall,butifhewereinmyshoeshe’dorderone,too.

4.What’stheBuddhadoneformelately?Iwouldn’tbestandinghereinmySuperFlyshoesreadingthistodayifitweren’tformycreditcard.Nothanks.

Nowtakealookbackandreviewyouranswerpattern:

If you answered predominantly “1s,” pack your bag, becausethere’satrainonitsway;mostly“2s”andthishobothingmightbe

a pretty good idea for you;mostly “3s” and there are some goodhobo movies you could always watch; and a few “4s” and youalreadyknowwhereyou’reat.

INTRODUCTIONTheNewHoboCode

“Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild_haired, in the red firedark, singing, swiggingwine, spitting, jumping, running_that’s thewaytolive.Allaloneandfree...”

-JACKKEROUAC,INTHEDHARMABUMS,HAVINGJUSTSETUPCAMPONABEACHAFTERADAYRIDINGAFREIGHTTRAIN.

The daily grind has ground you down and there are days whengiventheoptionofstickingpinsinyoureyeballsorlisteningtoyourvoicemailyou’renotsurewhichwayyou’dlean.Eachdayyouwalkthesamepaths,parkinthesamespots,eatatthesameplaces,stareat the same ads, and stay up latewatching the samemovies; younote with jealousy cars bearing out-of-state license plates. Anadventureatthispoint,youhatetoadmit,isapoweroutageduringa thunderstorm. Taking stock of your life, you marvel at thesubjectiverulesyou’vebecomeaccustomedto.What’s thebigdealinsubstitutingsaladforfries?Whycan’tyouservewineinacoffeecup?Whyaren’tcellphonechargersuniversal?Youwonderatalifefree of bills, landlords, alarm clocks, parking tickets, the IRS,overdraft fees, and ads pushing you to choose one kind of cerealoveranotherorpromisingsalvationinabottle.Andasmallbottle

atthat,giventheprice.

Then one day—perhaps today—after you’ve been on hold fortwenty minutes and the automated customer service “person” isaskingyoutorepeatyourselectionforthethirdtimeorpresspoundto return to themainmenu, the obvious solution to your societalincarceration hits you: quit your job, donate your car, toss yourcreditcards,andbecomeahobo.Awestruck,youstopdeadinyourtracksandwonderwhyyoudidn’tseeitbefore,thinkingofallthetimeyoucouldhavesavedifahobohadjustcomeintoschooloncareerdayandwithawinkshownyouthedoormarked“exit.”

You catch a glimpse of your possible future. Instead of therecycledair fromthebuilding’scentralHVACsystempushingpastyour face you feel the breeze coming off a streamwhile you passaboveinaboxcar,thedoorwideopenandthesunonthehorizontorching the clouds an electric blood-orange. Now that’s the life,youthinktoyourself,that’swhereI’mgonnashine.

Astheeuphoriastartstofadefromyourdecisiontocastoffyourchainsandraiseyourfreedomflag,youwillundoubtedlyfindthatsome questions arise; after all, the last hobo you can rememberseeing was the guy modeling a “Harry the Hobo” costume atHalloweenMart. Can you do this? If you weren’t born on thebackseat of a Greyhound bus are you irreparably preprogrammedfor a life of car payments and resealing the driveway every threeyears?You’veriddenthesubwaywithoutincident,andasakidyourdad once took you on an Amtrak train for nostalgia’s sake, butboardingamovingfreighttrain?Canyoustillcallhomeifyouget

lonely?Andwhat about a paycheck? In thepastwhenever you’vebeen short of change you’ve found yourself staring helplessly at avendingmachinewhilefeelingreallythirsty.Dowestillevenhavehobosroamingthecountry?

Although somehavedeclared thehobo“dead,”and it’s true thehobo lifestyle of the turn of the century—crossing a still-wildwestern frontierwhile earningmoney following the harvests—haslargelycaughtitslasttrain,thereisindeedanicheforthetwenty-first-centuryhobo.Adaptivemodern-dayhobosarejustaslikelytofindajobonCraigslistwhilesippingasoylattetheyputonadebitcard as they are to brew a pot of cowboy coffee over a smallcampfirebythetracksastheywaitforwordtoarriveonwherethejobsare. Inaddition, theymay intersperse travelingby freight carwith a ride on a Greyhound when that proves more efficient. Ortheymaynottravelbyfreightcaratallandinsteadrendezvouswithother hobos via an Internet newsgroup on their smartphone—noneed to interpret chalk-drawn symbols left on a tree stump thesedays. However, mixing traditional hobo skills with more modernmethodsmayverywellbecomeyourdefacto“new”wayoflifeasyouforgeaheadonyourpath.

Enter The Hobo Handbook. This guide offers a crash course fortakingyour lifeon the roadand funding itasyougo.You’ll learnhowtosetupcamp,findajob,catchsomefood,findyourselfsometransport, andwhen the timecomes,how to sleep inaditch.Youmightdecideafterafewdaysthatyou’vefoundyourtruecalling,oryoumaysay toyourself, “Well, thatwas . . . terrible;nine to five

andalittlerentonceamonthdoesn’tsoundsobad,afterall,”andreturntoyourregularlife.Buteitherway,youwillhavetriedit.

Awordonfreight-carhopping:Trespassingonrailroadpropertyandcatchingouton freight cars isnot just illegal,but incrediblydangerous. The number of deaths and injuries over the yearsrelated to this activity is astounding (in just the ten-year periodfrom 1929 to 1939 more than 24,000 people were killed andanother27,000injured).Wewouldneversuggestyouactuallydoit,andit’snottheonlywaytotravelthecountrywithouthandingoverthekeystoyourfreedom.

CHAPTER1GettingStarted

THEHOBOEVOLUTION

“Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved theabsoluterejectionofauthority.”

-ALDOUSHUXLEY

Hobos have been romanticized, caricatured, pilloried, andmythologized inboth literatureandpopculturesince the firstonehoppedatrainwithoutaticket.NormanRockwell’s1928coverfortheSaturdayEveningPost of the “FleeingHobo”depictedhimpot-bellied,withhisshoesuntied,bindleslungoverhisback,aharmlessbuffoonmaking off with someone’s freshly baked pie—the familydog still latchedon tohisbehind.RedSkelton’s famouscharacter,“Freddie theFreeloader,”wasaclownwho livedbesideagarbagedumpandsleptinabathtub.Neitherofthesecharactersisremotelyclosetoresemblinganactualhobo,yetstereotypespersist.

bindle:Specificallyahobo’sbedrollandbelongingsthathe carried on his back, butmore genericallywhateverbag a hobo used to hold his stuff. Stereotypically, a

smallhandkerchieftiedtotheendofastickcarriedoverthe shoulder. If you can fit all your belongings in awrapped handkerchief, you have achieved eliteminimalisthobostatus.

Red Skelton’s hobo clown, “Freddie the Freeloader,” typified—and reinforced—thepublic’s perception of hobos as lazy and unemployed bums. Eternally optimistic,Freddiewasalwaysonthehunt for thatwhichwas freeandeasy. Inoneepisodehebreaksintoalibraryinordertotakeanapontopofthestacks,whileinanotherhe’sstartled awake by his alarm clock and exclaims, “Great Scott! It’s Thursday! I’veoversleptandmissedmyunemploymentcheck!Oh,well,easycome,easygo.”

Today,peoplearemorelikelytoidentifythefifth-gradekidintheHalloweenparadewithafakecigarandapillowstuffeduphisshirtas a hobo than a guy with a pack on his back who just walkedacross the railroad tracks and asked them if they knewwhen thenext freight train was coming. Do a search for “hobo” on theInternetandyou’llhavetowadethroughalotofhigh-endhandbagsites andplastic clownhats, and that’s beforeyouevenget to thecostumeandcomedysites.Thetruehoboisabithardertofind.

LETTHEREBEHOBOS

Where exactly did hobos come from? The first people to ride therails and theprecursors to theAmericanhobo cameabout towardtheendoftheCivilWar.Accordingtohobofolklore,theywereErieCripandPhillyPop, twoUnion soldiers.After thewar they foundthemselves far from home, and they decided hopping a passingfreight train seemed the fastest and cheapestway to get back. Asonemightimagine,theybeatalotoftheirfriendshome,andsoonothersoldierswerefollowingsuit.

Withthewarover,therewerehundredsofthousandsofmenwhoweresuddenlyleftwithnothingtodoandnowheretobe.Manyhadbeenontheroadforyears,leavingthemwithatasteforadventure;others simply had no homes to go back to. But eitherway, thesemensawintherailroadsadirectroutetoanewbeginning.Lincolnhadauthorizedthefirsttranscontinentalrailroadin1862toconnectthe tracks in the east with those in the west, and as the trackssurgedforththesoldierswentwiththem—ridingtherailswhileatthe same time finding work building, repairing, and maintainingthem. In desperate need of a labor force that didn’t mind beingmobileandmovingonwhen the jobwasdone, the railroadswereinitially all too happy to provide the transportation needed (thiswould change). In addition to railroadwork,manypickedupoddjobs along thewayworking as farmhands and doing anthing else

thatwouldbringinmoney.

There is no shortage of explanations for how the term “hobo”came into being. Some say it was by combining homeward boundboys, a name used to describe the soldiers returning home byhopping freight trains, and hoe boys, given to the men who tookwork in the fields while riding the rails, as they were oftenassociatedwitha toolof the trade.Othershave suggested it camefromthegreeting,“Hoboy!”Andotherssayit’s fromashorteningof the New York City intersection of Houston and Bowery, acommonhobohangout.Whatever the origination, “hobo”wasnottheword first used to describe thosewandering the railways. Theinitial waves of homeless and purposely unemployed young menmovingacrossthecountrybyrailwerecalled“tramps.”

hobo: A migratory worker; originated from hoe boys,the name given to the men taking work in the fieldswhileridingtherailsastheywereoftenassociatedwithatoolofthetrade.Hobosdistinguishedthemselvesfromtramps, who traveled but didn’t work, and bums,whodidneither.

BornoftheRailThe rails became evenmorepopulatedduring thedepressionof

the1870sbyanewclassoftraveler:thosewhohadlosttheirjobinthecityduringtheeconomicdownturnandtooktotherailroads—not for adventure or excitement, but out of economic necessity.When the work dried up they moved on to the next town; somehave attributed this period asmarking the birth of the true hobo.These men developed annual traveling circuits that followed thegrowing seasons. They might be felling trees in the PacificNorthwest during the winter and harvesting wheat in Oklahomaduringthesummer.Otherswouldsimplyfollowthewheatharvest,traveling a route each year that led them from the plains of theTexaspanhandleinJuneuptotheCanadianborderinAugust.

fruit tramp: A hobo who, yes, picked fruit to earn aliving.

Astimewentonandtheirnumbersgrew,hobos—whopreviouslywerejustindividualsridingthetrainsinthehopesofmakingabuck—developedacultureoftheirowninatruecommunityofmigrantworkers. They were people who shared the distinction of livingwithout an address, carrying what they needed on their back,workingtosupportthemselves,andlivingalifefreeofconvention.Iftheywereproficientinatrade,theyfoundjobsdoingit.Infact,

hobos have been credited with playing a major role in thedevelopmentofthewest—theseworkersmovedaheadofthemainpopulation and helped lay the groundwork for the infrastructurethatwouldsooncome.

Living a hobo lifestylemight seem really romantic from awarm living room, but abetterwaytoimagineitmightbetogooutsideonareallycoldandrainynightandsitunderatreegettingsoaked.Ifyoustillfinditromantic,itjustmightbeyourcalling.On one particularly rough night, Jack London recounts in his book The Road, acompanionsaid tohimwhile traveling, “Neveragainahobo. I’mgoing togeta job.You’dbetterdothesame.Nightslikethismakerheumatism.”

WELCOMETOTHEJUNGLE

While hobos lived beyond society’s grasp and preferred to avoidputting down roots, not everything could be done within theconfinesofaboxcar.Theywerenothermitsbutactivemembersofacommunity, and they sought the company of others with similarvalues.Sowhile initiallyhobosquietlysetuptheirownindividualcamps for thenight, itwasn’t longbefore thingsgotorganized.Astheirnumbersgrew,sodidtheircamps—sometimestoanenormoussize (onewasonce rumored tobeoveramile long).These campswereknownas“jungles.”Herehoboscouldcomeandgatherforthenight and share food, stories, and information. They would learnnewsofotherhobosaswellaswhattravelingconditionstheycouldexpectupahead,and in turn theycould informothersabout theirexperiencesontheroad.

Boxing great Jack Dempsey lived as a hobo for five years between 1911 and 1916.Traveling by rail and taking all manner of odd jobs, he changed his name to KidBlackie. His official knockout count didn’t include those he had delivered in thejungles. The sportswriter Red Smith said of him, “He was 187 pounds of unbridledviolence. This isn’t big by heavyweight standards, yet in the judgment of some, thisblack-browedproductofWesternminingcampsandhobo jungleswas thebestofallpugilists.”

jungle: The camps, generally in the vicinity of therailroadtracks,thathobossetup.Somewerehugeand

essentiallyservedaspermanenthobobasecamps.

Jungles sprang up throughout the country and quickly becamedestinationsuntothemselves.Thereweretemporaryjungles—whereagroupwouldstop,setupforthenight,andinadayortwobreakitalldownandmoveon—aswellasmorepermanent jungles thattravelinghoboscouldconsider“home.”Dinnerinthejunglewouldoften consist of “mulligan stew,” made from whatever food thehoboscomingintocampthatnighthadintheirpockets.Thoughitsoundssketchy,thesestewsgenerallyearnedravereviews.

GroundRulesDuetovagrancylaws,hoboswereroutinelyarrested,bootedout

of town, and generally abused. But in a clever display of culturalprowess,theyexploitedalegalloophole.Ifyouwereamemberofaunion, you were not subject to vagrancy laws because it wasassumed you were traveling for work. So hobos established theirownunion,TouristUnion#63. In addition, their livelihoodsweredependent onpeoplehaving a favorable opinionof them, and theunionallowedthemtodistancethemselvesfromtrampsandbums.

Evenagroupofnine-year-oldshangingoutinatreefortknowsaclub needs rules if it’s to function properly, and hobos were nodifferent.Theymayhavedecidedtheydidn’twanttobeboundbysociety’srules,buttheyrealizedthatforthesakeofalltheycouldn’tjustbeapopulationofwanderingcontractworkershoppingfreightcars and practicing anarchy. In Chicago at the 1894 AnnualConventionCongressoftheHobosofAmerica(nottooshabbyforabunchofdrifters),theycameupwithgoverningrules.

Accordingtotheirownhistory,inthemid1800salargegroupofhoboswhohadbeentossedfromvarioustownsfoundthemselvestogetherinajunglebytherailroadtracks,andtheydecidedsomethinghadtobedone.Asthereweresixty-threehobosgathered,theydecidedupon thenameTouristUnion#63 (“Tourist” perhapsbeingoneof theearly examples of marketing genius) and established an annual hobo convention.Memberswere issuedmembership cards and therewas even a small office near theB&OrailroadinCincinnati,Ohio.TheconventionisstillheldtothisdayinBritt,Iowa,althoughit’snowmoreofahobocelebrationthanaseriouscalltoorder.

THEHOBOCODEOFETHICS

1Decideyourownlife;don’tletanotherpersonrunorruleyou.

2Whenintown,alwaysrespectthelocallawandofficials,andtrytobeagentlemanatalltimes.

3Don’ttakeadvantageofsomeonewhoisinavulnerablesituation,localsorotherhobos.

4Alwaystrytofindwork,eveniftemporary,andalwaysseekoutjobsnobodywants.Bydoingsoyounotonlyhelpabusinessalong,butensureemploymentshouldyoureturntothattownagain.

5Whennoemploymentisavailable,makeyourownworkbyusingyouraddedtalentsatcrafts.

6Donotallowyourselftobecomeastupiddrunkandsetabadexampleforlocals’treatmentofotherhobos.

7Whenjunglingintown,respecthandouts,donotwearthemout,anotherhobowillbecomingalongwhowillneedthemasbad,ifnotworsethanyou.

8Alwaysrespectnature;donotleavegarbagewhereyouarejungling.

9Ifinacommunityjungle,alwayspitchinandhelp.

10Trytostayclean,andboilupwhereverpossible.

11Whentraveling,rideyourtrainrespectfully,takenopersonalchances,causenoproblemswiththeoperatingcreworhostrailroad,actlikeanextracrewmember.

12Donotcauseproblemsinatrainyard;anotherhobowillbecomingalongwhowillneedpassagethroughthatyard.

13Donotallowotherhobostomolestchildren;exposeallmolesterstoauthorities;theyaretheworstgarbagetoinfestanysociety.

14Helpallrunawaychildren,andtrytoinducethemtoreturnhome.

15Helpyourfellowhoboswheneverandwhereverneeded,youmayneedtheirhelpsomeday.

16Ifpresentatahobocourtandyouhavetestimony,giveit.Whetherfororagainsttheaccused,yourvoicecounts!

In addition to their own lingo,hobosdevelopedaunique system for communicatingwith each other out in theworld via chalk-drawn symbols. These could alert fellowhobostoeverythingfromunfriendlydogstogoodplacestolookforwork,andcouldbefound anywhere from telephone poles to the sides of houses to sidewalks. Beingcryptic,they’donlymakesensetosomeoneintheknow.Thenumbers2over10,forexample,wasawarningtolookoutforthieves,andasquigglylinetoldthata judgewasinresidence.MoreontheseinChapter6.

While the code of ethics may seem dated there’s an inherentmessage that’s not: don’t screw it up for the next person.You arenotaroguewanderingthecountryside,butatravelerwhosehealth,safety,andwell-beingaredependentuponthekindness—andtrust

—of others. True hobos arewelcoming and compassionate peoplelooking out for one another while celebrating an unencumberedlifestyle. It isup to the individual tokeep this traditionalive,andthefirst timeyourunoutofwaterandsomeonesays,“Here,havesomeofmine,”you’llbehappyyou’vebuiltthattrust.

THEHOBOUNDERGROUND

While jungles were good for a few nights camping, restivecommunalsuppers,andtheswappingoftalltaleswhileenroutetoanother destination, they didn’t provide much in the way ofinfrastructure or any significant R&R.When out of work and notriding the rails, hobos developed their own urban areas withinmajor cities that had good railroad access. Known as the “mainstem,”theseareaswere litteredwithcheaphotels,brothels,shops,artisticvenues,andtempagenciesthroughwhichhoboscouldlandjobs all over the country (although these agencies could beexploitive and hobos sometimes referred to them as “slavemarkets”).

The stems were where hobos could spend their “stake,” themoney they made while out on the road. As places where hoboswere free to live their liveswith little interference, stems becamethe birthplace ofhobohemia, a term used to describe the resultingculture.Thestemscouldbe large,particularlyduringwinterwhenjobswerescarcer.Manyhobosbecamedownandout in thestemsandtooktobegging,or“stemmingit.”Intheearly1990s,thestemin Chicago onWestMadison Street boasted a population of some30,000duringthesummerand60,000duringthewinter.Tohobos,hobohemiawasaplacewhereallwasfairandwell,butthepublicat largehadadifferentname for it: skid row.Viewedas locations

filled with homeless men, drunks, bums, crime, and businessescatering to sordidactivitieswhereno respectablepersonwouldbecaughtdead,regularfolksdeemedthemplacestobeavoided.

stemming: When a hobo went panhandling, he was“stemming.”

NOTINMYBACKYARD

Hobosflourishedfromthelate1870supuntiltheGreatDepression,but the seeds of their undoing were around from the start. Theconditions that brought about the armies of homeless migrantworkersofthelate1800sandearly1900smightbeboileddowntowar and large-scale unemployment. Groups of wanderingunemployed men did not reflect well on federal or stategovernment, and neither were communities across the countrythrilledwhentherailroadsdroppedthemattheirdoorsteps.

In1879,Connecticutpassed theirTrampAct,whichnotonlyobligatedevery sheriffandpoliceman toquicklyarrest anyone suspectedofbeinga tramp,but alsoofferedthemarewardoffivedollarsforeveryconviction.InJulyof1879,aneditorialintheNewYorkTimesbeganbynoting,“Thisistheseasonoftheyearwhenthehighwaysarelinedwiththeragged, filthy,andvillainous-lookingmen,whoslouch longtheroad.”Theauthorwenton todescribe thevarious tramp lawsandremarked,“Next to soapandwater,thetrampdreadsnothingsomuchaswork.”

In a campaignwhose targetwaspretty clear,Congresspassed aseriesof lawsbetween1876and1886knownas the“tramp laws”thatmadeitillegalforsomeonetotravellookingforworkwithoutcarrying money. This, of course, could make things pretty trickygiven that youwere traveling because youdidn’t have anymoneyandweretryingtogetsome.Statesintroducedtheirownvagrancylaws, many sending those convicted to hard labor camps. The

newspapersofthetimescarriededitorialsdescribingthedangerous,villainous,andmaliciouscharacterof tramps.ALosAngelespapercalled for the creation in California of such hard labor camps forvagrants, referring to them in the headline as “boxcar tourists” (aderogatory name at the time; not such a bad name for the“recreational”hobosoftoday).

SocialPressuresItdidn’thelp thehobo’s cause thatwhilehemightbeaskingat

the frontdoor ifa familyneededanyhelp inexchange foramealthere was a tramp in the backyard running off with one of thefamily’s chickens. An old hobo maxim, said fifty different ways,essentially boiled down to the following: Hobos traveled andworked,trampstraveledbutdidn’twork,andbumsdidn’ttravelorwork.While the publicmay have held amore blurred version ofthesedistinctions—if theymade anydistinctions at all—hobosdidnot.Unfortunatelyforthehobo,ifhehappenedtobebetweenjobsandtravelingwithlittleornomoney(parforthehobocourse),thelawviewedhimasatrampandvagrant,andheoften,whencaught,wassenttoalaborcamp.

The hobo was being hit from all sides. As the U.S. populationgrewandspreadacross thecountryandcommunitieswereable toprovidetheirownlabor,theneedformigrantworkersplummeted.In addition, as farms started to industrialize, the amount of laborrequired for crops such as wheat was halved, and it wasn’t longbeforethehobobecameapariah.Thingsalsobegantochangewithtransportation. An increase in automobile and truck traffic meantpeople relied less on freight trains, and consequently, train linesbegan cutting back on their networks. Track mileage shrank. In1916thereweresome254,000milesoftrackintheUnitedStates,anumber thatwoulddropbymorethan100,000over thecourseof

thenextseventy-fiveyears.

Don’tBuild’EmLikeTheyUsedToAndthetrainsthemselveswerechangingaswell.Toproducethe

steamthatpoweredsteamlocomotives,trainswouldneedtostopatwater stations locatedalong their routesand takeonwater.Theseproved great points of access for hobos, who would often locatetheirjunglesinthesameareas.Bythelate1930s,however,diesel-powered locomotives began replacing the steam engines,eliminatingtheneedtostopforwaterandenablingtrainstotravellong distances without stopping. Diesel trains also moved withgreater speed than their steam counterparts, and this upped thedifficulty—as well as the danger—of boarding them while inmotion. The hobo-friendly boxcar was also becoming scarce as asurgeofnewercars—amongthemcontainercarswithnoentrancepoints—begantopopulatetherails.

D-DayYetanotherimposingforceboredownonthehobolifestyle,and

thatwasFDRandhisNewDeal.Inordertopreventarecurrenceofthe massive transient population that developed after the earlierdepressionsof the1870sand1890s, FDR institutedmassive socialprograms during the Great Depression aimed at putting people towork and created unemployment insurance and transient campswhere people were housed near large public works projects. Theprograms absorbed large numbers of the unemployed population,andunemploymentinsuranceputadamperontheincentivetobustyour butt hopping around the country where there was noguaranteeofapaycheckinthefirstplace.

But perhaps the final blow to knock the hobo population downwas the beginning of World War II, when the military-industrialmachinesuckedupallavailablemanpowerandessentiallybroughtunemployment to zero. Fearing the country might experienceanothermassivehobopopulationthatwouldtaketotheroadwhensoldiersreturnedfromthewar,thegovernmentcreatedtheGIbill—an incredibly successful method of keeping young men out oftrouble,inschool,andoffoftherails.

THENEXTGENERATION

Hobos did not completely disappear, however. Though fewer innumber,therewerestillpeoplewhorefusedtosettledownandwhosaw the railroads as providing an unparalleled opportunity for anomadic life of adventure. They took to the rails with reneweddedicationtoleadalifeoftheirownchoosing,workingwhentheyhadto,andkeepinghobotraditionsalive.Whereoncepeopletookto hopping freight trains as their only mode of transport, peoplewere now hopping them to escape the “machine.” Instead of thehundredsofthousandsofhobosoncetravelingontherailroads,thecommunityofhobosbecamemuchmoreintimate.Mentionanotherhobo’snamearoundacampfire ina jungleandmost likelyotherswouldknowhim—andhiswhereabouts.Wordcouldspreadfast.

Inthefiftiesandsixties, theBeatGenerationtookapieceof therailsas theirown,addingan intellectualand spiritual twist to theAmericanromancewith therailroad thatmadehoboingsomewhatof a rite of passage. By the seventies and eighties, three fairlydistinct groups hopped freight cars:migrantworkersmade up thelargest group (like the original hobos, they traveled the countryfollowing the harvests), followed by modern-day tramps, simplytraveling and bumming. Finally, there were the “yuppie,” or“recreational,” hobos. These people had homes, families, gardens,jobs,andseatsonthelocalPTA,buttheytooktotherailsforafew

weeksorforafewmonthsasavacationfromtheir“regular”life.Bythe 1990s, this newest wave of hobos was organizing over theInternetandemployingmodernmeanstolisteninontherailyardstopinpointfreightcarpositionsanddestinations.

Shouldyouchoosetoabandonyourcurrentsituationandjointhehobolifestyle,thiseclecticmixmightbecountedamongyournewgroupoffriends.

TAKINGTHEPLUNGE

Butlet’sbackupabit.Beforeyouquityour job,breakyourlease,and give your car (or skateboard) to your kid sister, take time toconsiderwhatyou’regetting into,oryoumay findyourselfaskingforeachof thembacksooner thanyou’dplanned. (Take theHoboAptitude Test earlier in the book to test your readiness to hit theroad.)Absolutefreedomdoesn’tcomewithheatedseatsandcruisecontrol—or much of a benefits package. As far as get-rich-quickschemesgo,ditchingyour regular lifeandbecomingahobo rankspretty low, coming in just above knitting finger puppets in yourbasement.Andtravelingundertheradarcanleaveyouvulnerable—physically,mentally,financially,andlegally.

YourPhysicalLimitsHitchhiking and hopping freight trains will compromise your

safety,sodon’t thinkyoucarrysomesortof invisiblesafetyshieldthatwill inoculateyou from thedangers.Furthermore, evenwhenyou’renotindanger,itwillgetreallyuncomfortableattimes—andwe’renottalkingwhenyouwereakidandhadtosleeponthefloorwhilevisitingyourUncleHarrykindofuncomfortableortheskiliftstoppedmoving for fifteenminutes and it surewas cold up therekindofuncomfortable.JamesMicheneroncedescribedhisyearsasa hobo as “years of wonder and enchantment.” But for everyMichener you can bet there were thirty hungry freezing guys outthere with wet shoes and socks who would have given their lastpennytobeinabedwithcleansheetsandthepromiseofbreakfastthe next morning. Make sure you don’t adopt a holier-than-thouattitude,proudlyannouncingtoyourfamilyandfriendsthatyounolonger have a need for all of this false, capitalist-inspiredmanufactured reality and that they, too, should stop drinking theKool-Aid, only to return aweek later after you discover a tick inyoursleepingbag.

CheckYourHeadThen there’s the spiritualmatter. People have differentways of

handlingtheirworriesthatlifeispassingthembyorthattheyhavebeen sleeping giants of untapped potential for far too long. Somejoin an ashram, others start running marathons, some startvolunteering, and others bite the bullet and finally readWar andPeace. You may be feeling the same way. But remember the oldadage:Whereveryougo,thereyouare.Youwillstillbelookingupat the samecloudsasall thehomeownersandapartmentdwellersyou left behind, you’ll still have your same allergies, and if youdidn’tlovewritingpoetrybefore,you’reprobablynotgoingtohaveanepiphanyridingfreightcarsthatwillmakeyoustart.

You will undoubtedly experience moments when you suddenly“see” and become convinced you’ve just cracked society’s ever-elusive master code, but your every waking moment will not bespiked with phenomenal bursts of enlightenment. Instead, a fairamount of your timewill be spent contemplatingmundane thingslikewonderingwhereyoucanbrushyourteeth,ifthistoiletpaperis biodegradable, how to keep from being seen behind this bush,andwhetheryousmellokayenoughtohavelunchinacafé.

Ask yourself why you’re considering a nomadic life in the firstplace. Do you really need to go through with this, or would aweekend in the Sierras suffice? If you know you’re cravingsomethingmorethanaweekendcampingtripwithoutacellphone

andthatemptyingyourclosetofafewextrasweatersandthrowingoutalltheartsandcraftsyoumadeingradeschoolwillnotprovideenoughsimplificationforyou,itmayindeedbetimetohaulanchor.

TheRideMightBeFree,butLifeIsn’tUnlessyouhaveaplushbankaccountorapatronsaintwillingto

wireyoumoneywhenyoutireofforaging,you’regoingtoneedtosupportyourself.Youcandothisanywayyoucan.Youdon’thaveto travel from town to town looking for hard labor. Make yourlivingasawriter?Bringyourlaptopandcontinuedoingwhatyoudo.Webdesigner?Thesameapplies.Manyhome-basedbusinessescan also be brought along on the road. Free wireless Internet isbecomingubiquitous,andthereareevenagrowingnumberofcitiesthatofferfreeWi-Fiinsuchplacesaspubliclibrariesandparks.

Therearenohardandfastrulesabouthowtodothis.Theideaisthatyouaremakingyourownwayandcreatingyourownlifestylefor however long you want to, and the whole premise of youradventureisthatyouarenowfreefromsocialpressuretoconform.Youdon’tneedtotravelbackintimeandlivelikeit’s1929tofeelunfettered,andtravelingwithalaptopdoesnotmakeyouaslavetotheman;ifitmakesyoufeelbetter,slapasubversivestickeronit.

AmIanOutlaw?If you’re hopping freight trains and trespassing on railroad

property,yes,youare.NotquiteinthesameleagueasJesseJames,butyourmethodoftransportdoesputyouonthewrongsideofthelaw. Still, you’re getting in at a good time: chain gangs, laborcamps,anddeportationtothestatelinearenolongerthepreferredforms of punishment—unless you cause excessive damage or aderailment, it’s a misdemeanor and most likely you’ll just get aticket.Ifyouaregivenaticket,however,anddon’tappearincourtthinkingit’llnevercatchupwithyou,don’tplanongettinginanytroubleinthatstateshouldyourevisit.Nothingissodishearteningas getting pulled over a few years later for a broken taillight anddiscoveringthere’sawarrantforyourarrest.

Bear in mind that you don’t live in 1892. There are plenty ofotherways to travel these days—and legally—while still living onthe road andpracticing a newand independent lifestyle.More onthisinChapter3.

 REMEMBER:HoboscameabouttowardtheendoftheAmericanCivilWar,initiallycomposedof road-hardenedwar veterans and later those looking forworkduringthe economic depressions of the late 1800s and early 1900s. Though oftenromanticized—and you will have those idyllic moments—a hobo lifestyle can beprettygritty.Don’tjumpinexpectingacakewalk.

DidYouKnowJamesMichenerHoboed?

JamesMichenerwasborn in1907and ismostlyknown forhisbooks,mostof themaboutplaces(atsomepointoranother,youmayhaveseenarowofbookswithnamesofdifferentstatesandcountriesfortitlesandwonderedwhatthatwasallabout).Buthedidn’t justwriteaboutplaces,hevisitedthem,andbythetimehewastwentyhehadalreadytouredthemajorityofthecountryeitherbyhitchhikingorhoppingfreighttrains. Interviewed in thedocumentary“AmericanHobo,”Michener says, “I rode therodsfromIowatoIllinoisandamorehellishexperiencenoyoungfelloweverhad.Itwashorrible.Yousetupalittleprotectiontheretokeepthesootoutofyourface,andyoubouncedalong.Andyoufelttheridewouldneverend.ItwasadescentintoHell.Andhowthesemencoulddoitagainandagainandagainbewilderedme.”

Inhisaptlytitledautobiography,TheWorldIsMyHome,hetalksabouthisdecisiontoleavehishomeinhisteensbyhitchhikingwest:“Isawthatmysteriousroadoutsidemyhouse,theeasternpartleadingtoadeadend,thewesternworldsunknown,Iwasdeterminedtoexplorethelatter.”Andsoheleft,workingforcarnivalsanddoingotheroddjobsalongtheway.

Overtheyears,Michenerneverstrayedtoofarfromhisdown-to-earthroots,seeinghimself as no different from anyone else. He had disdain for being described as an“author,” feeling that it stunk of pomposity, and despite making millions (most ofwhichhedonated),heneverboughtshavingcream.Why?Becausehe’dlearnedearlyon thathecoulduse leftoverbitsof soap instead.Toward theendofhis lifehe stillyearnedfortheopenroad,andtoldtheHoboTimesthathewas“stillabumatheart.Ilongtohittheroadagaintogoanywhereonanyproject,butalas,I’vebeenhitbyatroublesomehealthproblemwhichkeepsmetiedtoonespot,butinmemoryItraveleverywhere.”

CHAPTER2GettingReady

TRAVELINGLIGHTORHEAVY

“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggageenough.”

-AMERICANWRITERCHARLESDUDLEYWARNER

So ifyouchoose to tryout thehobo lifestyle,wheredoyoustart?Throw a toothbrush and a change of clothing in a bag, wanderdowntothenearestrailroadcrossing,andchasethefirsttrainthatcomes along?Only if youwant the first day of your liberation toendwiththeheadline,“Manquitsjob—wantsitback.”Youneedtoprepare,studyup,andplanahead.

Mostpeoplearecreaturesofhabit,andwhileyou’reabouttolosemostofyours,alotwilldependonthekindofhoboyouchoosetobe.Thisiskindoflikeyour“chooseyourownadventure”moment.

If you want to be a complete minimalist, you can head out withlittlemore than a blanket, learnwhat types of berries are edible,and grow your hair long.Alternatively, you could choose to headoutcarryingthelatestinhigh-techtravelinggearwiththeintentionofbeingyourveryownSwissArmyknife.

THEMINIMALIST

Travelingwith thebareminimumgivesyoua lowoverhead.Yourpack will be wondrously light, and you’ll be secure in theknowledgethateverythingyoucurrentlyownwouldfitinyouroldsock drawer (the fact that you once had enough socks to fill anentire drawermay soon strike you as excessive). If you’remakingyourwaywithjustthebareessentials,youwillprettymuchhavetosurvive on pocket change, pooling resources with other travelersyoumeet,yourwits,andasteadfastdetermination(afterall,iftheydiditthiswaybefore,youshouldbeabletodoitnow,right?).

ThiskindofhobowasdescribedbyJackKerouacinTheVanishingAmericanHobo ashaving “twowatches you can’t buy inTiffany’s,ononewrist thesun,ontheotherwrist themoon,bothbandsaremadeof sky.” In thebest of times youmight findyourself feelinglikeHuckFinn,rollingdowntheriverwithoutacare intheworldand a corncob pipe tucked behind your ear while you keel overbellylaughingovertalltaleswithyourtrustedtravelingcompanion.Granted, you could also end up alone in the rain at two in themorningneararailyardwithnoplacetostay,nothingtoeat,andcoldairblowing throughagapinghole in the crotchofyouronlypairofpants.Butsoitgoes,you’lltellyourself...orsomeoneelsesurelywill.

Withalightload,youcanmovemorequicklyandhaveahigher

probabilityofeludingaticket—orworse—fromtherailroadpolice.Likewise, your evasive maneuvers unencumbered, you have agreaterchanceofescapingaless-than-friendlyfellowtravelerwhosepathyoumaycross—althoughyouprobablywon’tbeanattractivetargetasonelookatyouandyourbagandthieveswilldecideyoucan keep whatever slim pickings you have. It’s the ruggedizedlaptopandthe$50headlampthatdrawsunwantedadmirers.

As a teenager, former Russian president Boris Yeltsin traveled Russia by rail whileworkingoddjobs.Ridingonatraincarroof,heoncegotintoacardgamewithsomenefariousindividualsandproceededtoloseallofhisclotheswiththeexceptionofhisunderwear.Onemorelossatcardsmeanthe’dbethrownfromthetrain.Theincentivetosavehislifemusthavebetteredhiscardplaying,becauseinsteadhewonbackhisclothes.

As a minimalist, you also don’t have to worry about beingobsessively careful with your pack. After all, when the mostvaluablethingyou’recarryingisaT-shirt,launchingyourbagintoaboxcaror tossing it into thebackofapickup isn’tmuchcause forconcern.Andifinsomeunfortunateeventyouhappentoloseyourbag, it’snotmuchofasetback;aquickstopat the localSalvationArmy and you can be back up and running in no time. Indeed,travelinglightmeansyoucastoffallthatonceweighedyoudown—perhaps including a toothbrush should it get covered in mudbecauseyouweren’tcarryinganyZiplocbagstokeepitsafe.

READYFORANYTHING

Alternatively,youcanchoose tobe thequintessential twenty-first-century hobo, outfitted with a laptop, energy bars, and clothingspecifically designed for rugged adventure and tailored to theparticular season inwhich you’re traveling. Instead of following acompassyoumadefromaleafandapaperclipinashallowpoolofwater,you’llGoogleyourdirections.Andratherthanhoppingsomemysterious freight train,youmightcatcharidewithsomeoneyoufound on Craigslist who happens to be driving in your direction.Nowyou’rea“rubbertramp.”

rubbertramp(ortiretramp):Ahobotravelingbymeansother than the rails, whether by car, truck, ormotorcycle—anything with rubber wheels. It’s not initselfderogatory.

Junglesarenowherenearascommonastheywereintheheydayof thehobo,andsoyourchancesof findingawell-equippedcampwith pots and pans are not what they used to be. Being wellequippedyourselfcanhelpmakeupthedifferenceandmakeyourtravelingexperiencesignificantlyeasieronthebody.You’llbethatmuchmoreself-sufficientifyou’reouttherewithatent,additionalclothes, a small cook stove, and the supplies to last a fewdaysor

moreonyourown.

NotJustaMoochBut it’s not just “out there” that having the gear you need is

helpful.Asaself-containedtravelingone-personshow,youwanttobeabletodothemostyoucanwithoutrequiringanysacrificefromthosearoundyou.Whenyou’reofferedaplacetostayforthenight,it’s greatwhen you canpolitely refuse offers of a towel, blankets,food,oruseof theircomputerwithaneasy, “That’sgreat, thanks,butI’mallset.”Whenpeoplefeelit’snotanykindofimpositiontohaveyouaround,youupyourchancesofgettingafewmorenightsoutofitandmaybeevenagoodreferraldowntheline.

Ifyouhappentohaveatradethatyou’regoodat,you’llstandabetter chance of getting a job—and higher pay as well—if you’reable to carry some of the tools you’ll need. If you have goodcarpentry skills, try bringing your tool belt along. Got someelectrical skills? Bring some critical hand tools along with you.Thesecanbegreatinapinchifyouhappentobumpintosomeonewithaproblemyoucaneasilysolve.Everybuckcounts.

This approach can leave you feeling a lot more comfortable ingeneral andprettymuch ready for anything, but you’ll experiencethe downside as your attempt to move effortlessly across thecountryisweigheddownbya75-poundpack(ifthatseemsabsurd,consider that there are hoboswho actually travelwith 100-poundpacks!).Aheavybutwell-fitpack,however,canbeeasier tocarrythana lighter,butpoorly fitpack. Ifyoucanafford it,getapack

specificallydesignedforsomeoneyoursize.Ifyoucan’t,andhavetorelyonwhateveryoucangetyourhandson,grinandbear it. It’llbuildcharacter.

YOURMODERN-DAYBINDLE

Oneof themostenduringcharacteristicspeopleassociatewith thehoboisthe“bindle,”thelittlesackattachedtotheendofastickthehobocarriedoverhisshoulder.Youarenotgoingtotakeabandanaandstuffitwithyoursleepingbag,somebookstoread,andafewpoundsoffoodandthentieituprealniceandcarryitaroundonastick.And rest assured,neitherdid they.Whatwasmore commonforthehobowastowraphisextraclothesandpersonalbelongingsupinhisbedroll,whichhewouldthentietohisback.Youcoulddothesame.Oryoucouldtakeadifferentapproach.

BagStylesExternal-frame packs are essentially a bag attached to a frame.

Theadvantagewiththeseisthatmuchliketheroofofacarversusits trunk,youcanattacha lotmore thanwould fit inside.Also, ifneedbe,youcandispensewith themanufacturer’sbagandattachyourbelongingsto it inanywayyouseefitgivenyour immediateneeds. If youhave several large items thatwon’t fit inapackbutcanbebundled,thismightbeforyou.

Internal-framepacksarebagsinwhichtheframeisbuiltintothefabric. As opposed to external frames, these bags are moreergonomicandwillfittightlytothecontoursofyourbody.Packedwellyou’ll feel as if you’re carryingonebig itemonyourbackasopposed to several.And ifyouare travelingwitha few items thatwon’t fit in the main cargo pocket, most of these come with anumber of areas where you can lash items to the outside of thepack.

Then thereare thebagsyou just slingoveryourbackandcarryany way you can like duffel bags, gym bags, and standardbackpacks. There are several disadvantages to these: With theexceptionoftheregularbackpackyouwon’thavebothhandsfree,they don’t carry as well since the weight isn’t evenly distributedthroughoutthebagandonyourbody,and—we’veallbeenthere—trying to squeeze the two sides of a bag together while quicklytryingtozipitclosedisapain.Whilenowherenearaseasyifyou

have a lot of gear (one of these at eighty pounds will wear youdownfast—nottomentionthestrapswillcutoffthecirculationinyour hands), if you’re travelingwith the bareminimum, they canwork.

If the straps on theduffel bags are long enough, it’s possible touse them as backpacks but be prepared for hard and irregularobjectstojabyouintheback.Forthefirsttwentysecondsthismaybebearable,but inhalfanhour it can seem like theseobjectsareactively trying to tunnel throughyourback. Still, you canbe surethoseridingtherailsduringtheGreatDepressiondidn’tstopoffatREIfortheperfectbagbeforeheadingtothetrainyards.

HOWTOFITYOURPACKHere’showtofityourpack:

1. Firstyou’llneedtomeasureyourtorso.Whiletiltingyourheadforward,feelforthelargestbonypointatthebaseofyourneckrightaboveyourshoulders.Thatwillbeoneendofthemeasurement.Next,grabyourhipboneswithyourthumbspointingbehindyourbackandtowardeachother.Haveafriendmeasurefromthebonypointdowntothemiddleofthehorizontallinethatwouldbemadeifyourthumbsweresuperlongandabletotoucheachother.Bagsizesarebasedontorsolength,andnowyouknowyours.Gettheonethatfits.

2. Withtherightbag,nowyouneedtoadjusttheshoulderstrapheight.First(withyourgearalreadyin)putthepackonandtightenthehipbeltuntilit’ssnug.Youwantthestrapstoberestingcomfortablyonyourshoulders,notsupportingtheweightofthepack—yourhipsshouldbedoingthat.Ifyourshoulderstrapsarehandlingtheweight,thestrapsaresettoolowandyou’llbedoingalotmoreworkthanyouneedtobe.Takethepackoffandraisethestraps.

WHAT-ANDHOW-TOPACK

Here’sacompleterundownofthingstoconsiderwhenyoupullyourbagtogether—whetheryougominimalistorgobig.THEESSENTIALS

*Waterbottles* Some big contractor garbage bags, the 3 ml thickness type.Theseareespeciallyuseful toputoveranexternal framepackin roughweather, andmake greatwaterproof seatswhen thegroundiswet.*Earplugs.Ifyouendupridingtherails,you’llfallinlovewiththem. And you may not always be sleeping in the quietestplaces,soonceagain,you’llfallinlovewiththem.* Multipurpose knife and tool combo, e.g., Leatherman, SwissArmyknife,etc.*Weatherproofbackpack* Toothbrush. (And instead of toothpaste, consider keeping asmallsackofbakingpowder.Youcanbrushyourteethwithit,it’sgreatforsavingburnedcookingpans,andyoucanuseittodeodorizestinkyshoes—whichyou’llprobablyget.)*Multivitamins*Atlasandrailmap*Meansofillumination,preferablyaheadlamp* Sleeping bag and compression sack to keep it in. (You’ll be

amazedhowsmallyoursleepingbagcanget.)* Layers of clothing, preferably wool and synthetic materials,which will dry quickly, as opposed to cotton, which takesforevertodry.* Underwear. Leave your tighty whities and bulky boxers athome. Instead, get a couple pairs of lightweight, fast-dryingbriefs made with moisture-wicking material. Super easy towash,andwithafewgoodwringsthey’llbedryinnotime.*Threeorfourpairsofsocks,woolorsynthetic.*Setofdarkclothestoeludethe“bulls”inthetrainyard,aswellassteeringclearoftheFreightTrainRidersofAmerica(FTRA),anotalwayssofriendlygangofrailriders.

bull:Amemberoftherailroadpolice.Hoboshavehadacatandmousegamewith thebulls foroverahundredyears.

* Set of clothes you’ll keep clean for venturing into civilizationand applying for jobs (and perhaps evenwearing on a date).Amonghobosthesearereferredtoas“gladrags.”*Smallsewingkit.Evenifyousaytoyourselfthatyouhavenoideahowtosew,you’dbeimpressedwhataquicklearneryoubecomewhenthebuttononyourpantspopsoff.* Large Ziploc-style bags. These are ridiculously helpful forkeepingthingsorganizedinyourpackandforprotectingitemsfromtheelements.Also,it’snofunwhenyourliquidsoappops

openandsaturateseverythingyouown.* Dr. Bronner’s or something like it. You can bathe,wash yourclothes,andbrushyourteethwithit(whichwillworkbutisalittlenasty—onedropisenough).*Water purification tablets. You’ve probably taken cleanwaterfor granted formostof your life, but youwill be surprisedathowscarceitcanbewhenyoucan’tfindafaucet.*Travel towel.Thebetter-qualityonesabsorbup toeight timestheir weight in liquid, and 90 percent of the water can bewrung out, making it dry at about warp speed compared toyourtypicalhouseholdbathtowels.*Metal cup/bowl you can put over a fire. That Starbucks travelmugmaylooksnazzy,butwhentherubberstartstomelt...*Hat,tokeepthesunoutofyoureyesandoffyourface.*Rainponcho*Tarp,greatforputtingdownunderyoursleepinggearatnightorforhelpingtomaketemporaryshelter.

BONUSGEAR(COMPLETELYOPTIONAL)

*Tentand/orbivysack* If you plan to camp in bear country, make sure you haveenoughropetohangabearbag—aboutfortyfeet.*Campingstove*Cookware* If you imagine yourself hunting forwildplants andberries toeat, make sure you bring a book on identifying which are

edible.Makesureithasgoodpictures,notjustdescriptions.*Hammock.Thiscanturnaregulardayintosomethingborderingonridiculouslyinsanelyawesomeinjustafewminutes.

FirstAidKitOfcourse,nopackiscompletewithoutsomekindoffirstaidkit.

If you’re sticking to urban areas you’ll probably never be too farawayfromadrugstore,butyoushouldstillcarrysomebasicslikeBand-Aids, aspirin, andmaybe some antibiotic ointment. Living alittle farther out on the fringewhile camping and hopping trains,however,isadifferentstory.Itdoesn’ttakemuchtoendupwithabadcutoutthere,andwhenallyouhavetocleanitupissomespitandadirtybandana, thatbadcutcanquickly turn intosomethingelseentirely.FIRSTAIDESSENTIALS

*Painandfevermedication(aspirin,Tylenol,etc.)*ACEbandages*Band-Aids*Neosporin*ACEbandageforsprains*Sunblock*EmergencyMylarblankets.They’reittybitty,butifyourdownbaggetswetandyou’restuckinthecold,thesecouldsaveyourlife.*Antisepticwipes*Handsanitizer*Decongestants

*Motionsicknessmedication(ifyou’repronetomotionsickness)

PackingSkillsYouaregoingtoturnyourselfintoalean,mean,andself-

sustainabletravelingmachine,andsincenooneelsewillbecarryingyourbagsforyou,don’tpackas ifanyonewill.Foreachitemyoucarry, you need to optimize weight, size, and utility. Why haularound soap, shampoo, and toothpaste when you can get oneproductthatdoesitall?Learntopackefficiently.Asyougoaboutyourpreparationslayoutallthethingsyouwanttotake.Morethanlikelyyouhavetoomuchstuff,sopareitdown.Thentakeabreakforafewminutes,godosomethingelse,andcomebacktopareitdownagain;remember,you’retravelingthecountry—notexploringtheActic.

Tomaximize your space, take a tip from flight attendants whohaveperfectedtheartoflivingoutofabag.Theyuseeverysquareinch available in their suitcases by rolling—not folding—theirclothes.Ifyourbagispackedefficiently,youshouldbeabletostickyour hand in it and dig around without finding a lot of voids.Remember to store any bottles containing liquid in Ziploc bags—whenyoutakeabreakanduseyourpackasaninsta-chair,you’llbea lothappierwhenyouopenit lateronanddon’t findyour liquidsoapeverywherebutinitsbottle.

Asmallbottleofhandsanitizer isagreatexampleofone itemwithmultipleuses. Itworks great for its intendedpurpose—to sanitize—but can alsohelp start a fire in apinch(itcontainsalcohol)andcanbeusedforfirstaid.Goodstuff.

FoodIf you’re planning on camping most of the time as you travel,

you’llwanttobefairlywellstockedwhenitcomestofood.Ifyou’llonly be camping occasionally and for the most part expect to bestaying in hostels and on couches, carrying food won’t be asimportant as finding places to stay; hauling around a lot of foodwhen you’re mostly eating at greasy spoons or when you’regenerally within walking distance of a grocery store isn’t all thatuseful.

When itcomes tocarrying food,again,youwant to thinkaboutwhat gives you themost bang for the buck—bang being calories,buck being weight. Energy bars are great for this, particularlyPowerBars, which are pretty impervious to packing damage; theycanbecrushedandmoldedintojustaboutanyshapeifthey’restillintheirpackagingandstillbeediblelater.Ontheotherendofthespectrum, you’ve got heavy stuff likewater (which comes in at alittle under eight and a half pounds per gallon) and canned food.Keep this inmind ifyouwere thinkingof livingoffofcheap—butcumbersome—cans of SpaghettiOs. A simple way to cut down onthe weight of the food you’re carrying is to hunt for your ownsquirrels and forage for your own berries, which on top oflightening your load has the added benefit of maximizing thedramaticcontentofanypoetryyoupenduringyouradventure.

Perishablesaren’tgreattotravelwith,butifyou’regoingtocarry

them,eatthemfirst.Thatwaytheydon’thaveasmuchtimetogetabused inyourbagwhile in transit,andyou’llgetachancetoeatthem before they spoil. You can roughly judge how perishable afood is by its water content—themorewater, the quicker it’ll gobad. One bonus if you’re traveling during the winter, as far asperishablesgoes,isthatifit’scoldenough,yourpackdoublesasaminifridge.

Whenitcomestowhatkindoffoodyouwanttocarry,determinewhether you want to cook or not, and if you do want to cook,whether you’re going to carry a stove ormake a fire over whichyou’ll cook in a pot. Consider that it may be tough to round upsuitable firewood in a lot of places, not tomention that it’s oftenillegal, really difficult if it’s been raining, and a time-consumingprocesstogetameal inyourgrowlingbelly.Acampingstoveisagreat solution, and a “stove” in this case is not the large metalcampingstovewiththreeburnersyourfamilyusedtotakealongcarcampingwhenvacationingneartheamusementpark.Youjustwantasingleburnermodel thatoperateswithasmall fuelbottle.Somestovescanrunonanythingfromkerosenetotheunleadedgasyouput(orusedtoput)inyourcar.

There are now some pretty tasty freeze-dried, or dehydrated,mealsyoucanbuythatcomeinapouch.Youcangetthemonlineor atmost camping stores.All youneed to do is open the pouch,pourinsomeboilingwater,andyou’reprettymuchgoodtogo—inmereminutesyou’llbesittingonalogeatingChickenalaKing.Of course,meals in a pouch arenot as cheap as bulk-bought trail

mix,buttheyareagoodwaytomakefriendsandtaketheedgeoffoffeelinglikeyouhadtoleaveallcreaturecomfortsbehind.Onthedownside, you’ll need to either be near a water source or havecarried water with you to eat them—eating them dry is akin toeatingahandfulofpowderedherbswithsometwigsmixedin.

FOUR-FOOTEDTRAVELINGCOMPANIONS

If you have a dog, resist the temptation to bring him along. Thatsense that it will just be the two of you out there in the world,fearlesslyadventuringandkeepingeachothercompanymightseemawfulnice,butyou’regoingtobetakingenoughriskswithjustyourownlife,whyriskyourfurryfriend’slife,too?Lobbingyourselfintoa boxcar is tough on its own, but it’s a helluva lot harderwith asixty-pound pack and a sixty-pound pooch in tow. And we’ve allseenthemovieswheresomeonehidingfromaboogeymansuddenlysneezesandchaosensues.Well,youcan’tnecessarilycountonyourdogtobeastealthywingmanattheprecisemomentyouneedhimto be. For example, youmight be hiding in the back of a boxcarwaiting for the train to leave the yardwhen a bullwalks by andyourloyalcompaniondecidestobarkjustincaseyoudidn’tknowsomeonewasapproaching.Coverblown.

Adogcanalsomakeittoughtocrashwithstrangers,whomightbelessinclinedtotakeyouinforthenight—especiallyiftheyhavea canine already that isn’t down with sharing his kingdom withanotherAlphadogorifsomeoneinthehouseholdhasallergies.Thebestbetforthehealthandwell-beingofyourpoochandyourownsanityistoleaveyourdogbehind.Asmuchasitmightpainyoutodoso,you’llfeelbetterknowinghe’ssafeandsoundwithafriendorfamilymemberwhocantakegoodcareofhimwhileyou’reonthe

road.

SEASONALCONSIDERATIONSANDPACKING

Decidingwhen to travel isgoing tohaveabigeffectonwhatyouneedtopackandwhatyouneedtobepreparedfor;sleepingunderthe stars is great, but sleeping under them when it’s sixty-fivedegrees out and you’re in a minus-thirty-degree sleeping bag cantakealotofthefunoutofit.Dependingontheseason,you’regoingtoneeddifferentthings.

WarmMonthsThere’snothingquite like travelingwhen theweather isnice. If

you find yourself around lakes, ponds, and rivers you can goswimmingduringtheheatofthedayandthensitontherocksandsunyourselflikeafrog(orwhateveritisyou’dliketosunyourselflike).Butwhileyouwon’tneedtopack longunderwear, therearesomethingsyoushouldbringalongthatcanexponentiallyimproveyourcomfort.

Pack awide-brimmed hat to keep the sun out of your eyes, offyourface,andoffthebackofyourneck.Andunlessyou’reanglingfor that leathery look so popular in years gone by, you’llwant totote some heavy-duty sunscreen as well. It may seem a littlecounterintuitive,butyouwon’tnecessarilystaycoolerbyhikinginaT-shirt.Alightlong-sleevedshirtcanbetterregulatetemperature(and protect your arms from sunburn). Pants with zippers on thelegsthatletyouturnthemintoshortsaredownrightconvenient.Asfor footwear, skip the flip-flopsandkeepagoodpairofbootsandwalkingshoesonhand.Flip-flopsandsandalswillkillyourfeetonlongwalks and can be lethalwhen used around train tracks. Andeven when not lethal, stub your toe enough times on roots androcks,andyou’llbereadytotosstheminthebush.

Morethanafewhoboshavefoundabonususeforhats.Tippingyourhatortakingitoffwhile greetingpeople cangreatly increase your chances of gettingwhatever it isthat you’re looking for. It shows a polite level of respect that you may have even

withoutahat,butthehatwilldrawattentiontoit.

For skeeters and black flies, bring some insect repellentcontaining DEET.Most recommend you don’t use a repellent thatcontainsmorethan35percentDEETorfurtherondowntheroadafewbugbitesmaybetheleastofyourproblems.Thebetterbrandsare water resistant so you won’t sweat them off as quickly andthey’lllastlongerintherain.Asmostwhohaveevertakenawalkthroughthewoodswhenthere’swaternearbycanattest,no-see-umscanbeenoughtomakeyouloseyourmind.They’re theoneswhocreate little swarmcyclones that seem to stayone foot in front ofyounomatterhowfaryougowhiletheir littledronesflyupyournoseandintoyoureyes,andbiteyou.Theyarefromhell.Luckily,DEETworksonthem,too.

Headingout during the summermonths youhave the ability totravel lighter, so don’t overburdenyourself by carrying around allyourwinter gear aswell. If youhave friendsor relatives that livesomewhere along your route and you expect to be traveling thatwayagainwhentheweatherturns,seeifthey’dbewillingtoholdyourstuffforyou.Haven’tboughtyourminus-thirtybagyet?Don’t.Wait until you need it (but make sure you get it before the coldweatherstrikes).

ColdMonthsIfyou’vedoneverylittlecampingbefore,tryingitoutforthefirst

time in thedeadofwinter canbe aprettynasty introduction andleaveyouwishingyou’dneverevenheardtheword“hobo.”Itcanbemuchmore pleasant to start out in the spring, summer, or fallwhenyoudon’thavetoworryasmuchaboutbattlingtheelements.Ifyou’rebringingatent,practicesettingitupseveraltimesbeforeyou leave. You’ll be a lot happier if you already know the drillrather than trying to put it together for the first time as nightquickly descends and the wind howls and you can’t feel yourfingers.

When the weather turned cold during the winter months, hobos and all the othertraveling homeless liked to do what a lot of people like to do—head to warmerclimates. Florida and California, in particular, were pretty concerned about thisincreased tourism and did what they could to stem the tide. In themid 1930s, themayor of Los Angeles accused other states of forbidding hobos and tramps fromdisembarkingintheirstatessoastolaytheproblemathisfeet.Asaconsequence,heaskedthatthepolicechiefbeauthorizedtocreateapolice“foreignlegion”totraveltothe state borders and turn the “hordes” back. He felt sure thatwhen thewordwascarriedallthewaytotheEastCoast,hoboswouldstoptravelingWest.

Sinceyou’lllikelybeexposedtotheelementsabitmorethanyoumightbeused to, consideryourdestination.Whenyou’re ridingafreighttrainfromChicagotoFlorida,it’snotlikegettingonaplanewhereyoukindofenterawormholeinDetroitthatspitsyououtintheFloridasunshine;you’regoing tohave tomakeyourslowway

throughallthatcoldweatherthatoccursinthestatesbetween.Packaccordingly.

Ifyoueschewthehigh-techcampingeraofPatagoniaandMarmotandinsteadyearntotravelretro-style,fashionyourselfawarmbedroll!

WHATYOU’LLNEED:

*Yourrainponchoortarp*Uptothreeblankets(dependingontheseason)*Sheet(optional)*Ropeorcinchstraps

HOWTOMAKEIT:

1. Layyourponcho(orotherwaterproofcovering/tarp)ontheground.Thisiskey:Youneedtohavesomethingtoinsulateyoufromthegroundbelow.Withoutit,youmighthavealltheblanketsintheworldontopofyoubutyou’llbespillingyourheatintothegroundbelow.Counterproductive.

2. Takeyourfirstblanketandlayitonyourponcho,leavingaboutathirdoftheponchoexposed

3. Nowtakeyournextblanketandplaceitovertheexposedsectionoftheponchowithitsedgecenteredonthefirstblanketyouputdown

4. Ifyou’retravelingduringthewintermonthsandanticipatetheneedformoreblankets,continuetolaythemdowninthesameorder

5. Ifyouwantasheet,folditinhalfandplaceitinthemiddleoftheblankets

6. Nowbeginningwiththelastblanketyouputdown,folditoverthesheet.Thentaketheblanketyouputdownbeforethatandfolditoverthesheet.Continuethisuntilallblanketsarefolded

7. Youshouldnowhavealittlecocoonoffoldedblanketsinthemiddleofyourwaterproofcover.Folditovertheblankets

8. Ifyouwanttobeabletocrashforthenightwithouthavingtodigaroundtoomuchinyourpack,atthistimeyoucanneatlyplacesomenightclothesandtoiletriesoneitherendoftheroll

9. Startingfromthebottom,begintoneatlyandtightlyrollupthebedroll.Whenyougettothetop,tietheendsandmiddlewithsomeropeoryourcinchstraps

10. Whenyougotobedatnightunrollyourbedrollandslideinfromthetop.You’llbeunderthesheetwithblanketsbelowforpadding,andaboveforwarmth

LAYERINGThe basic two-layer method used most of the time, where you

simplyaltertheweightandwarmthofyourpants,shirt,andjacket,is best forgotten unless you have no other options. In the wintermonths, several layers of clothing should be your goal. Based onyouractivitylevel,thiswillenableyoutoaddorremoveclothingtoregulate your temperature. Another advantage to layering, asopposedtohavingfewerbutheavierclothing, is that thinclothingwill dry out faster if you get wet. If your one winter jacket getssoakedbecause the snow turns to rainandyouhave tohang it todry,you’llbeonecoldindividualhoppingaroundinaT-shirt.Alsoyou’llwant tomake sure that yourpants aren’t too tight, becausewhenyouputthemonoveryourlongunderwearyouwon’tbeabletoputanythinginyourpocketsorbendatthekneeswithoutfeelinglikeyou’reabouttobustaseem.Longunderwear—againsyntheticmaterialisbestsinceitcanwickmoistureawayfromyourbodyandkeep you dry—is great because in addition to keeping you warmduring the day, they’re great to sleep in while you let your dayclothesairout.

California blankets: Newspapers a hobo might use forbedding or to stuff in his clothes for added insulationwhen it’s coldout.Aplayon itbeingwarmenough inCaliforniathatallyouneedisanewspaperforablanket.

Thebasicgistbehindthewinterlayeringsystemisthatifyou’reexpecting some solid coldweather, ideally you’ll have four layers:longunderwear,pantsandshirt, lightweightjacketsuchasapolarfleece,andlastlyashellofsomesort that ispreferablywaterproofandwindresistant.Ifyou’renotintotheideaoffindingshelterandletting the more inclement weather pass, youmight also want toconsiderapairofwaterproofpants.

You’regoingtowantsomefootwearwithalittlemoreprotectionthan an old pair of Converse kicks. Most likely, whether you’restickingtotherailroadsorhoofing itaroundsomecities,you’llbewalking—andwalkingalot.Allittakesisabigsnowstormfollowedbya littlewarmweathertoturntrailsandpotholes intooceansofslush. Don’tmake themistake of only carrying one pair of shoes.Not only will you be uncomfortable and at increased risk forfrostbite, but your feet will become mini-ecosystems ripe for thekindofbacteriaandfungusthatthriveinawetenvironment.

And again, avoid cotton socks; opt for eitherwool or synthetic.Wetcottonsockswillmakeyoumiserable;they’llenduppullingoffyourheelsandclumpingupbyyourtoes,andtakeforevertodry.Ifyou’reoneofthosepeoplewhocan’tstandeithertheweightofwoolor the sometimes scratchy feel of it against your skin, syntheticmaterialisthewaytogo.

Maybeall of this seemsover the topandyou think, “Whatever.Those Depression-era hobos didn’t have GORE-TEX pants.” That’strue. But they also tended to either hole up in warmer climatesduring the winter or opted to stay put in urban areas until the

weather was more amenable to traveling. If you’ve made a littlemoney,youcouldalwaystakethisopportunitytofindadivemotelinVegasandlivethehigh(orlow)lifeforabit.

Ifyouknowabuildingtradeandarehopingtomakesomemoneywith it, remember that winter can be a tough time. Most peoplearen’t looking to have a large remodel done if it’s ten below andpartofthehouseneedstobeopentotheelements.Inaddition,duetoadecreasedamountofdemand,buildersareoftenforcedtoworkfor lower wages in order to compete and get the work that’savailable. What’s more, they often need to work with a smallercrew.Notagreat time towalkbya siteandask if they’rehiring.Look at the kind of work you’re hoping to do and then travel toplaces during the times when your services will have the bestchancesofbeingneededandmostvalued—there’snopointshowingup in the rainy season if you have plans to make a little cashworkingasanexteriorhousepainter.

Soyouknowwhatyouneed,you’vegotyourpack,youlookgoodinthemirrorwearingit,andyou’realmostreadytogo.Butwhere,when,andhow?Readon.We’llsoontakealookatyouroptions.

 REMEMBER:Although you are heading out into the unknown, it’s not anapocalypticwastelanddevoidof toothpasteorpeanutbutter.Yes, youwant tobeprepared,butno,youdon’twant tobecarryingaroundenough thatyouand twootherhoboscould liveoutofyourbag.Packstrategically;any itemthat takes theplaceoftwoormoreisascore.

DidYouKnowMerleHaggardHoboed?

MerleHaggardwasbornin1937inOildale,California,justoutsideofBakersfield.Hisfamilyhadstruggledthroughthedepression,andmovedfromOklahomatoCaliforniaafter their farm burned down. His dad bought some land near where the SouthernPacificRailroadrolled intoBakersfield.Here,hegrewup,poor, inoneofwhatwereknown as “Hoover Camps”—cardboard shantytowns filledwith the unemployed andmigrantworkers.Merle’s placewasn’t a cardboard shack, sincebothhisparentshadjobs—hisdadworkedfortheSantaFerailroadandhismomkeptoddjobs—butanoldboxcarthathisdadconvertedintoahome.Withtherailroadtracksalmostinthefrontyard,Merlewashoppingtrainsfromanearlyage,evenrunningawayononeattheageoften,androdethemfairlyseriouslyfrom1950until1956.

Haggard had a lot of different jobs and a lot of different run-ins with the lawgrowingup.Inonesomewhatcomicepisode,Merleandafewbuddies,drunk,decidedto try and rob a café. Since theywere trying to break in from the back,what theydidn’tknowwaswhatanyoneapproachingfromthefrontwouldhaverealized:thecaféwasopen.Theywerepickedup,andMerlewassenttoSanQuentinontwodifferentsentences—oneforfiveyearsandanotherforfifteen.Hewasparoledinthree.Whilehewas there, hewas part of the prison’s band, andwas also there to see JohnnyCashperformhis infamousNewYear’s showat theprison in1958. (When theymetagainmuchlaterandHaggardreminiscedabouttheshow,CashthoughtHaggardmusthavebeenintheband,andwassurprisedwhenHaggardtoldhim,no,he’dbeenaninmate.)

Haggarddidnothavethesoul-searchingintellectuallypoeticexperienceontherailsthat someone likeKerouacwrote about. In anNPR interview, he described awintertrip he took in a refrigerator car with two other hobos jammed into the icecompartment, “looking at each other with nothing to say.” When asked what helearnedfromthat,Haggardreplied,“Takeenoughmoneytorideabus.”Whichisnotsodifferentfromwhathedidonce,manyyearsago.ArrivingonatraininDunsmuir,itturnedoutacheckhewasowedfromanearlier jobhadarrivedathismother’s.ShesentittohimthroughWesternUnion,andassoonashegotit,asheputit,he“gothisbutt”onabusand“quittedthathoboing.”

CHAPTER3GettingGoing

WhereAreYouGoingandHowWillYouGetThere?

“Well,firstthingisyougottakeeppacewithit.Ifyoucan’trunasfastasthetrain,it’snevergoingtohappen.OnetimeIwastryingtogetonatrainandIhitoneofthoserailroadswitches.Itknockedmehard, sent me tumbling through the air backwards. It should’vekilledme,butIgotupwithoutascratch.”

-MERLEHAGGARD,VANITYFAIRINTERVIEW,JULY2010

Whereveritisyou’regoing,youhavetogetthere,andwhileitmaynotalwaysbethe“halfthefun”you’rehopingfor,mostlikelyitwillbe half of the adventure—if not more. From thumbing it on thefreewaytohunkeringdowninagondola,don’tlimityourselftooneformoftravel.Youroptionsarediverse;explorethem.

Traveling the rails these days is not like it used to be in thegolden age of the hobo. Back then the trains were runningeverywhere, and hopping on one—while dangerous—didn’t quiterequire the skills of a gymnast. Trains may have been the mainmode of transportation in the late nineteenth and early twentiethcenturies for both people and freight traveling any great distance,but it was not something that would last. After endless mergers(BNSF, one of the largest freight railroad networks in NorthAmerica, is the result of more than 400 mergers) and increasedrelianceontrucksandhighways,thetotalmilesofrailroadavailablefortravelhasbecomeanemiccomparedtowhatitusedtobe.Whilethereare still anabundanceof small local companies, today thereareonlyfivemajorfreightcompanies—downfromahighof130inthelate1930s.

FREIGHTTRAINCOMPANIES

TodaythebiggiesaretheUnionPacific(UP),theNorfolkSouthern(NS),CSX,theKansasCitySouthernRailwayCompany(KCSR),andthe BurlingtonNorthern Santa Fe (BNSF). Determiningwhere andwhen tocatch these trains isnot likeplugging inyourdestinationandpreferredtraveldatesintoTravelocity.com.Freighttrainsdon’tcarrypassengers, just freight, and freightdoesn’tneed tobemadeawareofwhenandwhere it’sgoing,nordoes itcomplain if it sitsonthetrackforseveralhours—orevendays.

UnionPacificisthegoliathofthemallandisthesamecompanyresponsibleforthefirsttranscontinentalrailway.TheUnionPacificprettymuch covers the entireUnited Stateswith the exception ofthe eastern third of the country, which the Norfolk Southern andCSXcover.TheKansasCitySoutherncutsaswathsouthfromaboutMinnesotathroughTexasanddownintoMexico.LikeUnionPacificbutsmaller,theBNSFrunsinthewesternUnitedStates.

hotshot:Atrainwithpriorityfreightthattravelsfasterandstopslessthanordinaryfreighttrains.

SchedulesandRoutesEach of these companies has a website where you can look up

maps of the routes they service. The maps offered are far fromspecific, but from them you can still get the general gist of whatcompanieswilltakeyoutowhatcitiesandwhattransfersyoumayneedtomake.Don’tbesurprisedifittakesalittlemorethanaweekandup to fifteen or so train changes tomake yourway fromonecoasttotheother.Asforgettingmorespecificinformation,youmayhave to swinga littlecloakanddaggeraction. Ifyou’reacreativetype, you could approach a dispatcher in the yards with anincrediblestorynoonecouldpossibledoubtastowhyyouneedthetrainschedules(sinceprofessionalstravelingonimportantbusinessrarely have dirty hands or carry a rucksack, be sure to leave itsomewheresafeandwashupbeforegivingyourperformance).Youcouldalsotrycallingtherailroadformorespecificinformation,butdon’t count on getting it. Since 9/11, increased securitymeasureshavebeenputinplacearoundallrailyards.

Oneofthemostdirectwaystodiscoverwhichtrainsarecomingand going and time estimates for arrivals and departures is tobefriend railroad employees. Part of this comes down to their jobdescription:theyaretheretokeepthetrainsrunningsmoothly,nottopolice the tracks—a job that falls to the railroadpolice. It’snotunheard of for rail employees to radio the dispatcher forinformationahobomightbe lookingfor,andwillsometimeseven

let hobos ridewith them for a spell, looking for someone to chatwithonalonghaul.

Amoretechnicalapproach,andtheonefavoredby“recreational”hobos, is touseascanner.Bytuningto the frequencyusedbytheparticularrailroadcompanyyou’rehopingtoride,you’llbeabletohear the traindispatchersandengineers relaying informationbackandforth.Thenyou’llknowwhichtrainsarecomingin,whicharegoingout,wherethey’regoing,andtimeestimatesforeachleg.

Intheend,alotofthisboilsdowntodoingactualfieldresearchinthetownorcityyou’reinandconnectingwithotherhoboseitherin person or over the Internet. By hanging around the yards anddoinga little reconnaissanceyou’llgetaprettygood feel forwhatthetravelpatternsare.Andwhilethisisn’tsomethingyou’daskofyour grandma ormother-in-law, if you have friends in any of thecitiesyouhopetopassthrough,youcanaskthemtoscopeoutthesceneforyouaheadoftime.

FindingtheYardsBefore you can hop on a train, you have to find one, and the

trains you want to—or should want to—hop on are eithercompletelystopped,or justbarelymoving.Trainsof this type(notmoving)arebestlocatedinrailyardsorjustoutsideofthem,beforethey’vegottenuptospeed.Providingyou’re inacityor townandnot standing in the middle of a cornfield, you should be able tolocate the rail yards. For one thing, freight trains share the samerailsaspassengertrains,andmanyplaceswillhavesignsdirectingyoutoeithertheAmtrakstationor,ifyou’renearamajorcity,thecommuter trains. So it becomes a breadcrumb game. Train yardsalsotakeupalotofspaceandaren’toverlyattractive,sotheytendto be located in large industrial areas. Think warehouses andfactories,notsuburbandevelopmentsandshoppingmalls.

Originally,freighttraincompanieswerealsoresponsibleforpassengertrains,butfrom1920ontheydidthisatanincreasingfinancialloss.In1970,thegovernmentsteppedinandcreatedRailpax,intendedtocontinuepassengerservicebutrelievingthefreightcompaniesoftheburden.ThenamewassoonchangedtoAmtrak(Americaandtrack).Amtraksharesthesamerailsystemasthefreighttrains,andfreighttrainsarerequiredtogiveAmtrak trains rightofway.Which iswhy the freight trainyou’re ridingwillpulloverwhenfacedwithapassengertrain.

YARDSAFETYYouneedtobereallycarefulwhenmovingaroundrailyards,and

not just because of the bulls. Yards are full of some really heavymachinery—trains among them—that can go into motion withoutmuchwarningandcanseverelycomplicateyourlifeifyouhappentobe in theprocessofclimbingunderorbetweencarsona train.Particularlyatnightwhenstumblingaroundinthedark,stayalerttoyoursurroundings.

HOPPINGTHECAR

Having found the yard and (hopefully) knowing which train youwant to take as a result of your impeccable information-gatheringendeavors,yournexttaskistoselectacar.Don’tjusthopontothefirstcarthatlookslikeitwillwork,butmakeanoteofit.Instead,walk the train looking for the sweetest car. If the train starts tomovebeforeyou’vefoundit,youcanretreattooneoftheonesyoumade a mental note of earlier rather than risk missing the trainaltogether.Onewaytoknowthatthetrainisabouttostartmovingis to listen for the brake test, or brakehiss. This is your signal tofind your seat. And forget about the “choo-choo”—that doesn’thappenanymore.

flip:Toboardamovingtrain.

CARSYOUCANRIDE

Railroads use several types of cars, but some are definitely bettersuitedtoyourneedsthanothers—andevenamongthose,somearebetter than others. Your choice of car may also depend on theweather. Traveling at 70mph in thewinterwhile exposed to theelementsbecauseyouclimbedonaflatcarcansuckwhenit’scold,butwouldn’t be half bad in the summer. Boxcars, gondolas, graincars (often called grainers, or hoppers), piggybacks, doublestacks,carcarriers,cabooses,locomotiveunits,andflatcarsarejustsomeofthecarsyou’llfindontherails.Aswithanything,thereareprosandconstoeach.

onthefly:Jumpingamovingtrain.Notagoodidea.

As if hopping freight carswasn’t dangerous enough, JackDempsey choseoneof theevenmore dangerousmethods, known as “riding the rods.”On the Pullman railcar,thereweretwonarrowsteelrodsthatranunderthebottomofthecar.Hoboswouldoften lodge themselves, lying flat, between the rods and the bottom of the car. Adramaticallydangerouswayofhoppingcars.Managetofallasleepandrolloffandyouweredone.Ona train travelingat full speed, youwerenever too far away from, astheysay,“greasingthetracks.”

greasethetrack:Whenyou’rerunoverbyatrain,yourlast act is to lubricate the tracks. “You keep playin’

aroundlikethatandyou’regonnagreasethetrack.”

BoxcarsBoxcars are the stereotypical train carwith slidingdoorson the

sidesoneassociateswiththehobosofold.Althoughtheyusedtobethedominant formof rail car,more specialized cars have steadilybeenreplacingthemovertheyears.Butyoustillcanfindthem,andif you find an open one, take it, as traveling in a boxcar offersawesomeviewswhileprotectingyoufromtheelementsandkeepingyouhiddenfromtherailroadpolice.

Awordofwarning:Whileboxcarsseeminnocuous,theycanposeaserioushazardifyoudon’theedthefollowing.Onceyouscoreaspotonaboxcar, youneed to “spike” thedoor,whichmeansyouhavetoforcearailroadspike(you’llhavetofindone)—oranythingelseyoucanfind—atthebottomofthedoortokeepitfromclosing.If the doors close on youwhile you’re inside—which can happenrightwhen leavinga trainyard from slackaction—youcanprettymuchforgetaboutopeningthem,andyoucouldspendalongtimeinside, possibly longer than your energy bars andwaterwill holdout.Morethanafewrailworkershaveopenedupboxcarsonlytofindadeadhoboinside.

BoxcarsusedbytheFrenchinWorldWarIIwereknownas“fortyandeights,”meaningthey could each hold forty soldiers and eight horses. American troops fighting inFrance found ita less thandesirable formof travel,and later, tocommemorate theirshared experience, anAmerican veterans group named their organization the “FortyandEight.”

GondolasA gondola car is an open car with walls, somewhat like a

containercarifyouremovedtheupperhalf.Thesearegreattoridewhenthey’reempty.Notsomuchwhenloaded:Youcanbeononesideof the cardaydreamingaboutwhatyour friendswould say ifthey could see younowwhile the load sits on the other, andoneabrupt stop-and-go movement later there’s a manufacturer at theend of the linewonderingwhy his rebar camewith a hobo headattachedtoit.

Hoppers/GrainersHopper cars are similar to gondola cars, but the bottom slopes

downtothemiddlefromeachend,whichfunnelsthecargo—coal,fertilizer,grain,etc.,downtowardhingeddoorsthatopentoenablethe cargo to unload through gravity. There are both covered anduncoveredhoppercars.Theyareoftencalledgraincars,orgrainers,afteracommonloadtheycarried.

What these have going for them are not just the “porches” ateitherend,whichmakeforperfectroosts,butbysqueezingyourselfthrough a hole at either end, you’ll find a small spacewhere youcanreallylayback.Justbewarned:it’sarealbuzzkillshouldyouboard an openhopper inmotion, hike yourself over the side, andslidedown todiscoveranopendoor leadingdirectly to the tracksbelow.Thenyou’relikeacarrotbeingfedintoafoodprocessor.Orsomethingtothateffect.

PiggybacksPiggyback cars are tractor trailers (minus the cab) getting a

piggybackrideonaflattraincar.Youcanhopupononeofthese,andhangbetweenthewheelsofthetrailer.

DoubleStacksDoublestack cars are shipping containers stacked one on top of

theother,bothofthemridingonawellcar(basicallyaflatcarwithlow sides hugging the bottom container). Freight companies lovethemethod,asitcandoubletheamountoffreightatraincancarry,andyoucanlovethembecauseofthewellsyoucanrideinatthefrontandbackofthecar.

AutoracksAutoracks,orcarcarriers,weredevelopedtocarrycars. Initially

the railroads just transported automobiles single file on flat bedcars,but soon realized itwasapretty inefficientuseof spaceandthattheycoulddouble,andtheneventriple,thenumberofcarsbyadding levels above the first row. Hobos of the modern age whohappened upon autoracks had struck gold. With the cars theycarried often unlocked and with the key inside, you could travelacross thecountrywithyour leather seat reclinedand theheatonwhile blasting Lynyrd Skynyrd. If that’s what you wanted.Increasingly, however, autoracks are of the enclosed variety, andwhilegettinginisnotimpossible,it’snotsoeasy,either.

Intheseventies,GMcameoutwiththeChevroletVega,acompactcar.InconjunctionwithSouthernPacific, they createda specializednew rail car, theVert-A-Pac,whichwasdesignedtoholdrowsofVegasvertically,somewhatakintotheracksinfrontofracksatthedrycleaners.HadtheVegabeenahugesuccess, itmighthaveoffsetthecostsofhavingtofabricatereinforcedframemembersonthecar’sundersidethatcouldholdontotherackswithoutthecarcomingapart.ButtheVegawasnotahugeseller,andneitherwastheVert-A-Pac.

CaboosesUnfortunately,you’llhavetodropanyromanticnotionsofriding

on the little red caboose at the end of a train. For one, they’redisappearing, and the ones that are still around are almost neverred. Originally cabooses held up the rear of the train so crewmemberscouldoperatetrackswitchesandkeepaneyeonthebackcars. They also served as the crew’s quarters. But as technologyadvanced—primarilywiththeintroductionofanautomatedsystemnicknamedFRED—the caboose lost its pivotal role, and by the 1960s wasbecoming merely the stuff of children’s books. You can still findthem on smaller local lines where it’s more cost-effective to hireswitchmen than implement a new system, and you can also findtheminmanyrailyardssittingbythemselvesandmostlyforgotten(whichwhenaccessible,aregreatplacestocampout).

Cabooses have largely been replaced by FREDs, an acronym for “flashing rear-enddevice.”Attached to thebackof the last carof a train, theFREDmonitorsair-brakepressure and train movement and relays the information to the engineer up front,somethingpreviouslydonebyacrewmemberinacaboose.

FlatCarsFlatcarsarejustthat.Atundraonwheels.Ridingthesegivesno

protectionfromtheweather,you’recompletelyvisible,andwithnoraised sides the chances of getting bounced right off by shiftingcargocanoutweighthebenefitsofgettingon.

GETTINGONTHATCAR

Hopping a moving freight car can require your best Mary LouRetton,andshewasn’theftingaroundafifty-poundpack.Giventhatyou’renother,andyouarecarryingthatpack,youshouldkeeptheidea somewhere just above putting your hand down a garbagedisposal.Butofcourse,sometimesyouhavetoputyourhanddownthegarbagedisposal,soifyoudotryandmountamovingtrain,it’sbestifyou’rewithsomeonewhohasdoneitafewtimesbeforewhocan show you the ropes.Make sure you’vewalked a train or twoandreallystudiedthedifferentkindsofcarsandwhatyoucanholdon to. What you don’t want to do is find a train in motion andbuilding up speed, and then blindly pick a car and hop on. Youmightdiscoveryou’reonacarwithnoplacetosafelysit,andatthispoint the trainmaynot justbegoing too fast foryou to jumpoff,butalsomaynotstopforanothertenortwelvehours.Ifyoustudyuponthecartypesandwhattheylooklikeandwheretograbon,youcanavoidthis.

Youhavetoberunningwiththetrainandnotagainstit,andyouwant,ascloselyasyoucan,tobemovingatthesamespeedasthetrain tomake a smooth transition; if the train cars are flyingpastyou,it’snotgonnahappen.So,assumingthatyourtrainismovingandthatyou’removingalongsideandmatchingitsspeed,youhavetwooptions:one,youthrowyourpackinfirstandthentrytoboard

—the benefit being that you can perform the necessary physicaltrickery unencumbered and the drawback being that should youproceed to fail to get on the train, you just lost your luggage; ortwo,youtryboarding the trainwithyourpackonyourback.Youwon’tloseyourbagthisway,butwhileyouaretryingtodirectyourmomentuminonedirectionyourpackwillbeholdingyouback.Inchoosingbetween the two, tossingyourpack in first ispreferable.Bettertoloseyourgoodsthanyourlegs.TENEYE-POPPINGRIDES

TheHobo Times compiled a list of the top ten scenic rides in theUnitedStates.

1. TaketheLamoilleValleyandMaineCentralbetweenSheldonJunction,Vermont,andPortland,Maine.ThiswilltakeyouthroughboththeGreenandWhiteMountainsinNewEngland.Notedforbeingbestinthefall.

2. RidetheNorfolkandWesternbetweenHagerstown,Maryland,andKnoxville,Tennessee.SeetheShenandoahValley,BlueRidgeMountains,theAppalachianMountains,andGreatSmokeyMountainsNationalPark

3. BetweenJacksonvilleandMiami,ridetheFloridaEastCoastRailroad.A350-milecoastalrideofpalm,coconut,andfruittrees

4. FollowalongsidetheMississippiRiverontheBurlingtonNorthernbetweenFortMadison,Iowa,andMemphis,Tennessee

5. TaketheDenverandRioGrandeWesternalongsidethe

ArkansasRiverwiththeRockyMountainsinthebackgroundbetweenPueblo,Colorado,andGlenwoodSprings,Colorado

6. BetweenCheyenne,Wyoming,andLaurel,Montana,ridetheBurlingtonNorthernandcheckouttheBigHornMountainsandRiver,allthewhilepassingthroughwhatstilllooksliketheWildWest

7. SeeGlacierNationalPark,Whitefish,andheaduptheContinentalDivideontheBurlingtonNorthern,thistimebetweenSpokane,Washington,andCutBank,Montana

8. FromSacramento,California,toKlamathFalls,Oregon,startoutcrossingtheAmericanriver,followFeatherRiverCanyon,andthenheadthroughtheSierrasontheUnionPacific

9. BetweenColton,California,andSaltLakeCity,Utah,taketheUnionPacific.Spectacularviewsinthemountainsanddesertvalleysfilledwithflowersinthespring

10. Ridealong100milesofdesertedbeachesandthePacificOceanbetweenOxnardandSanLuisObispo,California,ontheSouthernPacific

SafetyontheTrainThere are several things to be aware of while riding a freight

train. They tell you to keep your arms and hands inside the carwhenyou’reridingarollercoaster,andthesamegoesforridingonatrain.Maybeduetosomestrangeholdoverfrombeingthreeyearsold, it canbe flat out irresistible to sit downon a car anddangleyourlegsovertheedge.Buttravelingat75mphwithanynumberofobjectsplacedalongrailroadtracks,allittakesisonebadbumpto separateyou fromyour legs,and the same thingcan result if aboxcardoorslidesshutwhileyou’resittinglikethat.

KennethHowe,inhisarticle“AmericanNomads”forSFGate,relatesarideinaboxcarhetookwithNorthBankFred,aveteranrecreationalhopper.Shortlyaftertheywerewell underway, North Bankwas hollering something at him, and after he took hisearplugsoutheheardhimyellingthatthedoorwasclosing.Anditwas,theoriginalsix-foot openingwasdown to three andas the train ground to ahalt, it had shrunkagain—leavinganopeningofjustafootandahalf.Bepreparedforsomeseriousnoise.Thisisagreattimetobustouttheearplugsthatyousocleverlybroughtwithyou.Theauditory attack can be bad, but only a nuisance when compared to some of thephysicaldangers.Traincarshaveslackbetweenthem,and“slackaction”referstothemassivejoltthatcanoccurwhenatrainstartstomoveandtheslackissuddenlytakenup. If you’re sitting therewith your head against awall, the experience can be theequivalenttosomeoneslammingthebackofyourheadintothepavement.

Humpyardsarespecializedyardswhereasmallhill—orhump—leadsdowntoseveral tracks.At the top,carsarepushedoveranddirected to one of the tracks to eventually form shipments all

heading in the same direction. Many freight train companiesadvertise their hump yards as “gentle,” but what you wouldconsider gentle is probably altogether different. Just another timewhereyoucangetreallyrattledwhenyouleastexpectit.

OTHERMETHODSOFTRANSPORT

Thereareoften timeswhen travelingby freight train isn’t feasibleforavarietyofreasons.Youmaybeinaplacewithoutayardwherethetrainspassat60mphandneverstop,ormaybeyoujustwantaroaming lifestyle without risking life and limb hopping freighttrains.Thehobosoftheearlytwentiethcenturyrodefreighttrainsbecause their only other viable options were to walk or steal ahorse. You can still choose these options, but the path of leastresistancemaybetobike,hitchhike,takeabusorpassengertrain,or carpool with someone headed in your direction (or you coulddecidewhereverthey’regoingisyourdirection).

BikeThey say riding by freight train is a way to travel by going

through the country’s backyards, and another formof travelmoreintimatethancarorbusistotravelbybike.Whileit’sillegaltotakeyourbikeon the interstate (andwhywouldyouwant to?), prettymuch every other road is fair game. In addition, the U.S. BicycleRouteSystemisanexpandingnetworkofofficialroutesthroughouttheUnitedStates,linkingcitiescomposedofbothsharedroadwaysandtrails.

As opposed to the other formsof travel, thiswill take a certaindegreeofphysicalfitness—whichifyoudon’thavestartingout,youwillshortly.

They do make trailers you can haul by bike, but panniers (thebagsattachingtoeithersideofboththefrontandrearwheels)canbeamoreflexibleoption,particularlywhenyoumightbeneedingtocarryyourbike throughabitorroughterrainwhilecamping—alsoareasontotravelwiththelightestbikeyoucanfindorafford.

Makesureyoutravelwithacompletesetofbiketools,lights,andreflectors, and if you’re new to biking, get well acquainted withyourbikeanditsmaintenancebeforeheadingout.Notthekindofstuffyouwanttobefiguringoutstrandedinthemiddleofnowhereatnight.

HitchhikingAs opposed to train hopping, where you risk announcing your

presence to the authoritiesmostly in trainyards, if youhitchhike,youarerightoutthereforeveryonetosee.Butcontrarytopopularbelief,hitchhiking isnot illegal ineverystate,although itcanstillbetrickyandisoftenanissueofsemantics.

In states where they’ve tried tomake it illegal, but don’t comeright out and call it illegal, the basic wording is as follows: “Nopersonshallstandinaroadwayforthepurposeofsolicitingaride.”Somestatesthrowin“solicitingaridefromadriver,”butit’sprettymuchallthesame.Thatmayseemfairlycutanddry:Youcan’tbeontheroadlookingforaride.Buthere’stherub:thedefinitionofroadway, in almost all of these laws, specifically excludes theshoulder.Inotherwords,youcan’tstandinthemiddleoftheroadwithyour thumb in theair,but if you’re standingalong it, you’regood.Ofcourse,explainingthistoanofficerisanentirelydifferentstoryaltogetherandyoumayendupwithaticket justforbeingasmartass.

Hitchhikingcanbelikegoingonablinddate—youhavenoideawhatyou’regettingyourselfinto.Yourdrivercouldbeagreatandinterestingperson,apersonwhocan’tstoptalkingabouttheprecisesubjects you have absolutely zero interest in, or a creepy andsomewhatfear-inducingpersonyouwishyou’dletpassby.

TheBusThisisprettyself-explanatory.Findthebusstation,pickaplace,

buy a ticket, and get a ride that will almost always include arestroom, heat, and air conditioning, and maybe even some TV.Similar tohitchhiking,youmayalsohave to sitnext to somebodywho feels his life is just too important not to share, and this canmakeforalongride.Butlifeisgiveandtake,sobeit.

doggin’it:Toridebybus,particularlyaGreyhound.

RidewithaTicketThen,ofcourse,there’sthemodeoftravelthatmayseemagainst

whateveryhobostands for:Amtrak.But itworks; it’sa train,andsometimesyouwon’thaveachoice.Occasionallywhenscoutingfora freight car to catch, railroad police may approach (after all,they’retrainedtobesuspiciousoffolksroamingtherailroadtrackswithbigpacks).Ifthere’sanAmtrakstationnearby,youmightsay,“I’m waiting for an Amtrak train but wanted to check out thetracks.”Theymightlikethestory,butonlyagreetoleaveyoursidewhen you actually enter the station. Grin and bear it. Otheradvantagestopassengertraintravel:Itcanbereallycomfortable,is100percent legal, runsona schedule,hasabathroomanda foodcar,andmostconveniently,youdon’thavetobeabletopolevaulttogetonboard.

CarpoolingCarpooling is a little like hitchhiking except (for themost part)

you don’t arrange it while standing on the side of the road. Ifhitchhiking is a little like cold calling people, finding a carpool ismore like following up on leads. You can find people looking forsomeonetotravelwithinalmostanyplace.Checkoutlocalbulletinboardsinsmallgrocerystoresorcoffeeshops.Butexpecttofindthereal jackpotonline.Thereareanendlessnumberofplaces to findrides. Look on Craigslist, Digihitch, or Squat the Planet. Youmaynothaveacar,butsomeoneelsemayhaveonebutnomeanstorunit (moneyforgas). In thatway, itcanbeasymbioticrelationship.Therearealwayspeopleouttherelookingforatravelingbuddyorforsomeonetosplitcosts.Youcaneitherfindsomeonelooking,oryou can post that you’re looking for a ride. Odds are good thatyou’lllinkupwithsomeone.

TRAVELINGSAFE

Whiletravelingsolohasitsbenefits, it’sneverabadideatotravelwithsomeoneelse—inadditiontowardingoffloneliness,youneverknow what kind of situation might come up in which having awingman could help. For one thing, it’s a whole lot easier if youneed to make a run into a store or across the street for a fewminutes if you can leave your pack with someone trustworthy towatchitwhileyou’redoingyourquickerrand.Additionally,ifyouhaveacampsetupandaren’treadytocompletelypackupbutjustneedtoheadintotownforsomesupplies,again, it’sgreat tohavesomeonewhocanstaybehindandkeepaneyeonthings.

Travelingwithanotherisalsogreatforsafety.Lonetravelerscanbe easy targets, whereas two people will almost always givesomeonepause(especiallyifthey’rethinkingofcausingchaos).Thisis particularly true of the railroads these days. There are a lot ofpeople riding the rails other than hobos, and you can’t assumeeveryone’s friendly. Remember: In choosing to live life off thebeatenpath,you’vealsogivenupalotoftheprotectionthatcomeswithlivingwithinsociety’sboundaries.

Inaddition,withatravelbuddyyou’llhavesomeoneyoucanleanonwhenyousprainyouranklehoppingoffatrain,someonetograbyourhandandpullyouupindramaticfashionwhileyoudangleoutthedoorofaboxcar,andsomeonetocarrythetentandcookstove

forabitwhenyou’rereadytojustdroplikeaparchedwandererinthedesert.You’llalsobeabletodoubleyourresources:Youmightknow someone you could stay with just outside of Chicago, yourbuddy might have some family in Colorado with some room tospare,andhealsomighthavethatmissingkeyingredientthatcanchangedinnerintosomethingworthremembering.

It’s especially smart for female travelers to travelwith someoneelse. Although uncommon, women travelers have been known torun into trouble, and having a travel partner can increase yoursafety. Regardless of sex, you’ll want to be especially attuned toyoursurroundingsatalltimes,andifyou’reabouttohopafreighttrainand there’s someoneelsealready in thecar, consider findinganother.It’smostlycommonsensestuff,butremember,you’remorevulnerablewhentravelingalone.

SylviaSiebken,aDepression-erahobo,neverwantedpeopletobeawarethatsheandhertravelingcompanionwerewomen.Sotheydidwhata lotof femalehobosdidinthose days: They wore “bib overalls,” tucked their hair up under their hats, andessentially,dressedlikemen.

FOLKSTOWATCHOUTFOR

Inadditiontojustbeingwaryofothertravelersyou’llcomeacross,there are a few more specific categories of folks to look out for;namely bulls and members of the FTRA (Freight Train Riders ofAmerica).Yourriskofphysicaldangerfromthebullsworkingtodayisnothingcompared towhat itwas like inyearspast;mostof thetrouble you’ll get from them is of the legal variety. But from theFTRA,thereisalargerrisktoyourpersonandproperty.

TheBullsWho and what are these infamous “bulls” hobos are always

referringto?Theyarerailroadpolice,andtheirjobhasalwaysbeento keep people who aren’t supposed to be on trains off of trains.Historically, theywereknownforhaving thecapacity tobeprettyrough.Manyahobo received a goodworkingover by abull, andthere are plenty of stories of bulls coming across hobos on trainsandmakingthemjumpwhilethetrainwasatfulltilt.Occasionallytheywouldeventakepotshotsatthemfromthetrain.

Todaytheirjobremainsprettymuchthesame,thoughtodaytheirgoalistokeeptrainsandyardsfreeoftrespassersforlegalreasons—people get hurt, and freight companies don’t want to be heldliable.You’llfindrailroadpoliceinrailyards,usuallyinavehicle,so if you stay off the roads, you have a good chance at eludingthem. If you are on a train andwaiting for it to go, the soundofstoneunderfootisatelltalesignabullisnear.Ofcourse,itcouldjust be another hobo like yourself, or just someone unfriendly. Inanycase,itbehoovesyoutosteerclearofbulls.

Ifyougetcaughtthesedays,you’renotgoingtoendupinalaborcamporona chaingang—you’llmost likely justbekickedoutoftheyardorgivenaticket,butdependingonthebull,ashortstayinjail is not completely out of the question. If issued a ticket, you’llhavetoappearincourt,andifyouskipthatpart,you’llalsowanttoskipcomingbacktothetownforalongtime.

“Itrarelypaystostopandenterintoexplanationswithbullswhentheylook‘horstile.’Aswiftget-awayisthethingtodo.Ittookmesometimetolearnthis;butthefinishingtouchwasputuponmebyabullinNewYorkCity.EversincethattimeithasbeenanautomaticprocesswithmetomakearunforitwhenIseeabullreachingforme.Thisautomaticprocesshasbecomeamainspringofconductinme,woundupandreadyforinstantrelease. Ishallnevergetover it.ShouldIbeeightyyearsold,hobblingalongthestreetoncrutches,andshouldapolicemansuddenlyreachoutforme,IknowI’ddropthecrutchesandrunlikeadeer.”

—JackLondon,describinghistakeonbulls,inTheRoad.

FreightTrainRidersofAmericaThe Freight Train Riders of America, or the FTRA, has become

somewhat legendary, and as the conventional wisdom goes, ifyou’re not one of them, you don’t want to run into them. Theystartedupinthe1980sasagroupoftrainriderslookingtoformacommunity(supposedlytheirnamestartedoutasF***TheReaganAdministration),andasagroup,theyhavebeensuspectedofhavinga fairly heavy criminal component. Theymostly ride the BNSF inthe Northwest, where you may recognize them by the blackbandanastheyareknowntoweararoundtheirnecks,claspedwithsilver rings. There are two smaller groups, aswell,who primarilyride the CSX. Those on the lines in the South identify themselveswith redbandanasand silver rings, and those coming through theMidwestwillwearbluebandanaswithsilverrings.Still,despitealltheballyhooandmidnightghoststories,therearemanyhoboswhohaveencounteredthemwithnoproblem.

 Remember:Youdon’tmixwellwithsteel,andhoppingafreighttrainisnosimplebusiness. There are a variety of otherways to travel, andwhile safetymay seemboring,boredisbetterthandead.Throughoutyourjourney,stayvigilant,andkeepyourpersonalsafetyatoppriority.

DidYouKnowBoxerJackDempseyHoboed?

JackDempsey(originallyWilliamHarrisonDempsey,afterthepresident)wasborninManassa,Colorado, in 1895.While hewould later become infamous as theManassa

Mauler,boxing’sheavyweightchampionoftheworldfrom1919to1927,he’salittle

lessknownfortheyearshespenthoppingfreighttrainsfromtowntotown,fightinginsaloons,andsometimesinbarns,asKidBlackie.

Oneofelevenchildren(oreventhirteenbysomeaccounts)hisfamilywaspoorandmoved around a lot; his father and his brotherswereminers, and theywouldmovethroughColoradoandUtahwhilefollowingtheminingwork.Bythetimehewaseight,Williamwasalreadydoingworkonanearby farmand,droppingoutof schoolaftereighth grade, he went on to pick up odd jobs shining shoes and crop picking, andunloadingbeetsatasugarrefineryfortencentsaton.

Oneofhisolderbrothers,Bernie,wasalsoaboxer,andpickedupextramoneybyfightingintheminingtowns.HestartedteachingWilliamthebasics,which,inadditiontohowtothrowapunch,includedsoakinghisfaceinbrinetostrengthentheskinandkeepitfromsplittingeasily,andchewingpinetargumtokeephisjawstrong.

He left home in1911 towork in themines, and as the story goes,whileworkingalongsidehisbrotherinUtah,oneoftheotherminersstartedtauntinghim.Hetookitforawhile,butwhenhefinallygotfedup,hestartedprancingaroundtheguyreadyfor some fisticuffs. Amused, a crowd gathered and bets were placed. In moves thewholeworldwouldsooncometoknow,withonepunch,thekidknockedtheguyoutwitharighttothejaw.

Soonhewasenteringsaloonsandannouncing,“Ican’tsing.Ican’tdance.ButI’lllickanyoneinthehouse.”He’salsosaidtohavegoneuptobartendersandaskedthemtopickoutaguythey’dliketoseegetputdown.Sixteenyearsoldandonly130pounds,heinitiallyfoundplentyoftakers.Butafterbrutallytakingguysout,wordspreadfast,andhe’dhavetogotoanothertowntofight,asnooneelsecaredtotakehimon.

Although some debate whether to call him an actual hobo, from 1911 to 1916,Dempsey traveled from town to town, riding the rods through Colorado, Utah, andNevada,pickingupwhateverworkhecould—hewashedfloors,pickedfruit,choppedtrees,andevenworkedasalaborerforthecircus.Butwheneverhegotthechance,hewouldfightforhisfoodandmoney.

JimMurray,asportswriter, inlateryearscommented,“WheneverIhearthename,JackDempsey,IthinkofanAmericathatwasonebigroaringcampofminers,drifters,bunkhousehands,conmen,hardcases,menwholivedbytheirfistsandtheirshootingironsandbythecardstheydrew.Americaathighnoon.”

CHAPTER4GettingSettled

FINDINGABEDFORTHENIGHTAND,IDEALLY,AMEAL

“Ifwehadsomeeggswecouldhavehamandeggs,ifwehadsomeham.”

-GROUCHOMARX

Sleepingandeatingwillnolongerbepassiveactivitiesforyou,butinsteadthehard-wonresultsofyouringenuity.Inthischapterwe’lllookatdifferentwaystoaccomplisheach;someyou’llundoubtedlyfind a littlemore palatable than others. If you’re not planning onstaying in an existing jungle or making your own camp but areinstead looking foracouch—oreven justabackyardorporch—tocrash on, you have some resources a hobo during the depressionwouldhavethoughtnothingofshortofspacetravel.

VIRTUALCOUCHES

Afairlynewmethodavailabletoyouforobtainingaplacetosleepis through online travel groups. Several websites, such ascouchsurfing.org and CouchSwap, are actually dedicated to this.Within minutes you can be connected with people all over theUnited States offering their extra (or, at least you’ll hope it’s“extra”) space for a night or two. This is also where yournetworking skills come in to play. You’re going to meet a lot ofpeople, and by talking and sharing, you’ll be surprised at theopportunities that might present themselves. If you’re an orneryreclusefullofsnidecommentsandgeneralunpleasantness,youmayfindyourselfspendingmoretimethanotherssleepinginditches.

Everyoneendsupinaditchatsomepoint.Kerouacrecountshavinghoppedafreighttrain at night outside of L.A. and realizing too late, after the train was picking upspeed, that itwas entirelymadeup of sealed carswith no access.Hewas forced tojump,andspenttherestofthenightinaditchbythetracks.

COMMUNALLIVING

Don’t overlook the local hostel. These are generally cheap andgeared for function over form, although fancier ones do exist; inwhichcase,youcouldfindyourownroomatamotelforjustafewbucksmore.Butkeepinmindthathostelsaregoodplacestomeetothertravelers,maybefindatravelingbuddy,orjustlearnofgoodopportunitiesfurtherdowntheroad.

THEOLD-TIMEYWAY

Youcouldalwaysattemptthetraditionalmethodoftryingtoobtainlodging in exchange forwork.Most likely thiswon’twork out sowellincities,wherenoonemakeseyecontactandeveryone’swaryofmeetingthenextserialkiller.Bumpingintosomeoneatacoffeeshopwith threeminutes to sparedoesn’tgiveyouenough time tomake a good case that you deserve a couch for the night. But inrural areas where people have barns and people aren’t in such arush to be somewhere, your chances of making real contact withgood peoplewho arewilling to give you the benefit of the doubtcan be pretty good. People with houses almost always havesomething that needs doing, and a person willing to do anythingfrom cleaning out a basement to planting tomato seeds can provehe’strustworthyandearnaplacetosleep.

THECONCRETEJUNGLE

Soyou justhoppedoffa trainandyou’rewondering“whatnext?”Dependingonthehourandwhetheryou’reinaruralorurbanarea,it’seithertimetoheadintotownandseewhat’suporit’stimetosetupyourcamp.Ifyouwereanticipatingacity,hopefullyyou’veplannedaheadandalreadymadearrangementsforthenight,eitherby knowing the location of a hostel or a cheap hotel or you’restayingwithfriends,family,orfolksyou’vefoundonline.

If there’s a twenty-four-hour bus or passenger train stationnearby,youcanspendthenightthere—providedyoudon’tlooklikeyou’resquatting,oryoumayendupgettinghassledbythepolice.Butifyoujustactlikeanothertravelerwhohastowaitaroundfortheirconnectingtrainorbus,youshouldbeOK.Ifyou’relookingabitdirtyaroundtheedges,makeuseofthepublicrestroomtocleanup, as disheveled people hanging around public transportationstations end up attractingmore unwanted attention. You can alsoseekoutashelter(whichareoftenfullbyevening—ifthis iswhatyou’re looking for get there early), but just setting up shop in analley,onadoorstep,orunderabridgemaybeasking for trouble.Clearly, themorewell-to-do an area seems, the safer itwill likelybe. Assess the situation and use common sense. And don’t forgetgraveyards—theycanbeperfect.

boilup:Togetcleanedup.Originatedfromthepracticeofboilingclothestokillofflice.

INTHEBUSH

If you end up alongside the tracks in a rural setting with somewoodsaround,you’llneed tosetupyourown jungle.After sittingonabigboulderforafewminutes,thefullrealizationthatyou’veleftitallbehindmayhityouupsidethebackoftheheadandmakeyouseethingsdifferently.Forstarters,youmaystarttounderstandthat besides what’s required for self-preservation in a naturalenvironment,thereisactuallynothingyouactuallyneedtodo.Youcouldtwiddleyourthumbsforanhourandnoonewilltellyoutogetbacktowork.Norwillanyonetellyoutomoveyourcarbecausetoday is street cleaning, or tell you to tuck in your shirt because“todayisreallyimportant,”orsay“thankyouforyourinterestbutunfortunatelytherewereother,morequalified,applicants.”Youareyour own island. If you’ve got foodwith you, some knowledge ofhowtogetby in thewild(orat leastyourwitsaboutyou),andagoodsetofgear,there’snorush.Don’tfeellikeworkingtomorrow?Don’t.Feelliketakinganap?Doit.There’snocheckouttime,andtheonlythingyou’llneedtogetoutofthisplaceisapassingtrain.

TheIdealLocationVenture in a bit to avoid detection. If you’re just staying for a

nightyoudon’tneedtostresstoomuchonwhereyouputyourself,butifyou’vemanagedtopullinajobinanearbytownorjustplanonstayinginoneplaceforanextendedperiod,you’llwanttogivecarefulconsiderationtowhereyousetupcamp.Familiarizeyourselfwithyoursurroundings.Nopointingettingupinthemiddleofthenight topeeand falling intoagulleyyoucouldhaveavoidedhadyoulookedaroundbeforehand.Anddon’tforgettotakealookup.Any large dead limbs directly above? If so, set up your sleepingarrangements elsewhere. They can fallwith littlewarning and arewayworsethananalarmclock.

Gullies.Don’tsetupcampinone.Gullieslooklikegulliesbecausethey’vebeenshapedbyrunningwater,andwhileitmaylookdrynow,itcanlookawholelotdifferentinaflashflood.Shouldthishappen,youcoulddrown,orattheveryleastlosesomeofyourgearandfindtherestscatteredandmanyofyoursuppliesruined.

“Lodging”andtheSeasonsThe prime spot for you depends onweather conditions and the

season. In summer, you need toworry about avoiding bugs, yourproximitytowater,andgettingampleprotectionfromrainandsun.Trytochooseasitethat’snearamovingstreamorontopofaridgesothatthebreezeswillkeepthebugsatbay.Inwinter,youneedtoworryaboutfindingshelter fromwindandprecipitationandadryplaceforafireandsleepingnook.Chooseashelteredareatosetupyourcamp.Youwillalsowanttoconsiderwhetherornotyouwantpeopletobeabletoseeyourcamp.Youprobablydon’t.Boughsoftreescanbeusedascamouflagescreenstopreventyourcampfrombeing discovered by the heavies, potential ruffians, and just theyeggsingeneral.Ifthere’ssnow,youcanalsobuildasnowmoundwhichwouldprovideshelter,butmakeforsomeprettychillyhandsifyoudidn’tbringglovesalong.

yegg:Atravelingthief.

DiggingInFor a semipermanent camp, a lean-to is an easy and effective

structurethatwillkeepyoudryandoutofthewindandmakeforgreat pictures to share with your grandchildren. First, note thedirection of the prevailingwinds (you can finally lick your fingerandstickitintheairlikeyouknowwhatyou’redoing).You’llwantthe rear of your structure facing the wind, leaving the open sideprotected.Next,tryandfindtwotreesatleasteightfeetapartthatcanserveasthesupportforthestructure.Findalong,sturdystickandtieitrunningbetweenthetwotrees,ataheightalittleaboveyour head. Locate several other sturdy sticks, and lean them upagainst the support beam running between the two trees. If youbroughtatarp,tieitacrosstheleaningsticks,formingawaterproofbarrier.Ifit’sjustyou,makesurethattheareaunderthetarpisatleastlargeenoughtoallowforadryareaforsleeping.

THEALL-IMPORTANTFIREPIT

For a multipurpose fire that serves as both a heat source and acookingarea,buildafirepit.First,pickaplace.Lookforanareaofdrysoilwhereyoucandigashallowholeintheground.Next,ringyour pit with large stones, but avoid using such porous rocks asshaleorriverrocks(thesecanholdwaterandwhentheygethotcanactuallyexplodeandsendrockshrapnel ineverydirection). Ifyoucanfindit,graniteisyourbestbet.Finally,ifthegroundiswetorsnow-covered,make aplatformof logs, stones, or sticks onwhichyouwillbuildyourfiretokeepitdryandburning.

Yourgoal is not to start a forest fire.That’s theopposite of low-keyand creates bigproblemsforeverybody,plus,whenyougetbackhomeandyourfriendssay,“Man,didyouhearaboutthatforestfire?”youdon’twanttohavetosheepishlysay,“Yeah,thatwasme.”No fun.Make sure there arenooverhangingbranches aboveyourpit thatcouldcatchfire.Thedangerzoneshiftswiththewind.Keepthisinmindasyousetupyourcamp.

Tostartthefire,gathertinderthatwillcatcheasily.Youcanusedry twigs, bark,wood shavings, paper, dry grass, or dried animaldung (but steerclearofpoison ivyorpoisonoak).Birchbarkandpine branches are especially flammable, so if you have access tothem,use’em.Makeasmallpileofthetinder,andbuildapyramidoflargersticksaboveit.Lightthetinderwithamatchoralighter,andoncethelargerstickshavestartedburningyoucanaddalogor

two. Consider packing waterproof matches—they’ll help you outwhenconditionsareonthesoggyside.

Youprobablygrewupbeingtoldnevertoleavetheironon.Nowyouhave to remembernever to leaveyourcampwith the fireon.Really.Don’ttakeaquicklookatitandthink,“Yup,looksout,”andcontinueonyourmerryway.Makesureyourfireisout,completely,beforeyouleave;itcan’tbestressedenough.Mostlikelyyou’renotgoing tohaveenoughwater to thoroughlydouse it, soadd indirtandstiritaroundwellenoughuntilthecoalsarecold.Buryingthefire is not sufficient, as it can still burn away under there andeventuallyignitesomething.Andnevergotosleepwiththefirestillgoing.You’rejustaskingfortroublenobodywants.

TheAll-ImportantBearBag(IfYou’reinanAreawithBears,ThatIs)If you’re camping in the northern and central plains you can

probably get along without this—which is good. There aren’t awholelotoftreestheretohangonefromanyway.

Bears lovefood,andhavesomeincrediblesniffers; it’ssaidtheirsense of smell is seven times that of a bloodhound, and the lastthingyouwantisabeartearingthroughyourtentinthemiddleofthenight because you left a candybarwrapper in yourbag.Bearbagsarethesolution.

Lookforatreewhoselimbextendsawayfromthetrunk(which,conveniently,mostdo).Agoodlimballowsyoutohangyourfoodbagaminimumoffourfeetfromthetrunkandmorethantenfeetfrom the ground. The size of the limb is important, because youwantone that’s strongenough to support theweightof yourgrubbagbutnotnearly strongenough to support theweightofabear.Youwillalsoneedastrongbagtoholdyourfood,andaboutfortyfeetofrope.

Thereareseveralwaystohangabag,andwhiletheeasiestisn’tthemosteffective,itistheeasiest.Tieoneendoftheropetoyourfoodbagandtheotherendaroundarockwithsomehefttoitthatcancounter theweightofyourbag.Throwtherockover the limb(might takea fewshots), theweightof therockwillpull theropedown on the other side so that you can reach it. Then hoist your

bearbagupatleasttenfeetandtiethefreeendoffaroundanearbytree.

I’mHungry;Where’stheFood?

So you leave for the road and you’ve got your pack filled withwater, six packs of dehydrated instant dinner, and a few energybars.Andthenthefoodrunsout,asitwilldowhenyoueatit,andnowyoudon’thaveanyfoodanymore.

You are nowahunter/gatherer.Gone are the dayswhen at thefirst pang of hunger you just needed tomake a short trek to thefridge, andwhenyouopened thedoorsyouwere confrontedbyaworldofendlesswonders.Itmaynothaveseemedlikeitthen,butitdoesnowthatyou’reoutonthetrailwithnothingleftinyourpack.Yourcircumstanceshavechanged.

FindingFoodSure,youcanprocureall ofyour snacksand supplies froma7-

Eleven,butyou’reoutheretobeselfsufficient,andafterriskinglifeandlimbtogethere,whattoughenedhobowantstorelyonsocietaltrainingwheelsandasktheclerkiftheyhaveamicrowavetoheatupthefrozentaquitos?

You have a lot of options when it comes to grub. For starters,here’salistofsomegreatstaplefoodstoconsiderpackingorbuyingalong the way. Some can be an entire meal by themselves andothersaremoretobeusedassupplements.Andclearly,someheavyfoodstuffs (likepotatoes) youdon’twant tobehauling around fortoo long, but if you’re staying put for a bit they canwork. Samegoesforeggs.Youprobablywon’tbeeatingalotofthemunlessthegreat outdoors has become a giant refrigerator and you areespecially good at packing delicate items, but there are plenty ofotheroptionsforfoodthatpackandtravelquitewell:

*Rice*Quinoa*Lentils*SplitPeas*CitrusFruits*Apples/Pears*Carrots*Potatoes

*SweetPotatoes*Garlic*Flour*Salt*PowderedMilk*Nuts*DriedFruit*CookingOil

FishingIfthere’salakeorrivernearby,youcouldhaveanendlesssupply

offish.Whenyouheadoutonyourexpedition,rememberthatfishmay not be brilliant, but they’re not dummies, either. They willhangout in themostcomfortablespotdependingontheday.Thismeansthatonahotsummerdayyoushouldlookinadeepshadypool,whereasonachillydayyouwillfindtheminasunny,shallowarea.Ingeneral,theyliketheshelterofanoverhangorasubmergedrockorlog.

Fishingkitsaresmallandlightweight,generallyconsistingofjusta line, some hooks, lures, weights, and floats. You can carry afishingrodwithyou,oryoucanimproviseonthespotwithalongstick.Chancesareyou’llfeelalittlemorebadasswhenyoumanagetobagafewlaketroutwithnothingmorethanahook,line,andarandomstick.

Ifyoudon’thaveanyhooks,butyoudohavesomeline,youcanreach back into your primal self and bring back an old trick: thegorge.MAKINGYOURGORGE

1. Findapieceofhardwood,orevenapieceofdeerbone.2. Useyourknifetowhittleitdownuntilit’sabout1½to2incheslongandsharpatbothends

3. Inthecenter,makeasmallgroovethatyou’lltiethefishing

linearound4. Now,attachsomebaitoralureonit.

Basicideaistocastitintothewater,thefishwillseeyourTrojanhorsebutnotknowit’soneandswallowthepointycontraption,andassoonasyoufeelatugontheotherendoftheline,giveitagoodyankandyou’llhavelodgedthegorgeinthefish’sgullet.Haul’erin.

Catchingafishbringsontheinstantfeelingofsuccess...usuallyfollowedbyaslightpanic.Nowwhat?Grabhim,squeezehismouthopentoseethemannerinwhichhe’shooked,andthenreversethehook’sdirectiontopullitout.Thefishisnotgoingtojusttakethisabuse,butwillactivelybeworkingagainstyou.Keepafirmgrip.

Ifyouhavenohooksandnoline,butyouarestilldyingforagoodfishfry,youcantryyourskillatspearing.Sharpenastickwithoneormorepoints,wadeintothewater,andwaitwithyourspeartipasclosetothewateraspossibleuntilyouseeyourtarget.Whenyou’refeelingthemoment,strikeoutandpinthefishtothebottom.

Ifyouhavefishedinthepastandareusedtothrowingitbackin,resisttheurge—it’stimetolearnanewskill.Firstoptionistograbit by the tail and swing it into something hard, the goal being tobreakitsneck(orwhatwouldbeitsneckifithadone).Chancesarethefirstattemptwilldolittlemorethanmakeitmad.Doitagain,andagain,ifyouhaveto.Suddenly,fishingmayseemlikemoreofacontact sport than just sitting on a rock meditating while youbecomeonewiththenaturalworldaroundyou.

Second option is to hit the fish behind the head with a hardobject. You could use a pot if you’ve got nothing else,which you

probablydon’t. Fishwhackerswasn’t on your supplies list. But begoodtothefish—don’twimpoutandleavehimtodieaslowdeathbysuffocation.

HOWTOGUTAFISHYou’ve got the fish, knocked it unconscious, and now you’re

staring at the thing andwonderingwhere to start. You know thenextthingyouhavetodoiscleanandgutit,butifyouweren’tinthe Scouts or didn’t have an avid fishing fan in the family, youmightbefeelingalittledaunted.Itallseemsprettysimplewhenit’ssittingonyourplateand looking likeanythingbut something thatwas just swimming around in the water, but getting it to yourplate...

Holdthatfishflat,andtakeyourknifeandinsertitatthebaseofthejawandcutthroughthechestboneallthewaydownthelengthof the fishuntilyoureachtheend. Ifyoucan, trynot tostick theknife too far inoryou’llpuncture the innardsandhavemoreofamess on your hands than you’ve already got.At this point, thingsareprobablygettingabitsmelly.

With the fish split, reach your fingers in and pull out the gutsfrom the top to the bottom. The liver will be attached to thebackbone of the fish, and you’ll need to cut that out separately.Witheverythingout,unlessyouplanoneatingit,thisisagoodtimetocutoffthehead,doingsofrombehindthegills.Youdon’thavetoscalethefishtocookandeatit,thoughdon’ttryeatingtheskinifyouhaven’tscaledit—theywon’tkillyou,butingeneral,fishscalestasteprettydamnawful.

Toscaleit,useanytoolatyourdisposalthat’s flatandthinand

scrape from the tail toward the head. If you’re applying enoughpressure,scalesshouldbeflyingallovertheplace.Getthemalloff,payingspecialattentiontothebackoftheheadwhereitcanbeeasytomiss.Cutthefinsoffaswell.

Givenyour lackof refrigeration, if it’s summer,planoncookingand eating your fish fairly quickly. It won’t last long. In winter,however,ifthere’ssnow,firstgutthefishandthenyoucanpackitinthesnow.Aslongas itstayscold,thefishshouldbeokayforafewdays.

ForagingforPlantsandBerriesIfyourunoutoffoodoutthereandthinkyou’llsurvivebyeating

plantsandberries,thinkagain.Unlessyoureallyknowwhatyou’redoing, you’re likely to ingest something thatwill feel awhole lotworse than being hungry and could leave you quite dead after aslow and painful ordeal filled with lots of throwing up and dryheaves and acute pain in the gut along with a lot of sweating.Another thing toconsider is that theenergy it takes foryou togoforagingforthingsyou’renotevensureofwillmostlikelyoutweighany energy youmight gain from eating the few leaves or berriesyou’reactuallyabletodiscover.

ChristopherMcCandless,onwhomthebookIntotheWildisbased,isthoughttohavesurvivedmorethan110daysintheAlaskaninteriorbyforagingforhisownfood.Theythink he confused two plants that look almost identical, and unfortunately ate thewrongone,which led tohis inability todigestother food.Eventually thismadehimtooweaktoleavethebusthatwashisshelter,andhediedofstarvation.

Warning:Thereareplentyofpoisonousplantsoutthere.Inordertoavoidgettingsick,youmusthaveagood foragingguidebookwithclear pictures. Generally, drawings are easier to interpret thanphotographs.Also, be aware that someplants are endangered andshouldnotbeharmed.Trytoobtaininformationontheendangeredstatus of plants in the stateswhere you are foraging. Think like aconservationist,onlytakethepartsthatyouneed,andleavetheresttogrowandthriveandprovidefoodforothers.

Asaruleofthumb,fernsandgrassesarenotedible.Butclearly,somethingsarefine.Blackberriesandblueberriesareprettyeasytoidentifyandmakeforsometastytreatswhilehiking.Herearesomereliableandeasilyidentifiablepicks:

* Acorns. These nutritious staples are quite bitter whenimproperly prepared because they have a very high tannincontent.Togetridofthetannins,peelthenutsandboilthemin successive changes of water until the water is clear andcolorless. The acorns can then be eaten or dried, and evenpowderedforlateruse.*Dandelions.Usetheleavesassaladgreens.Theyarebestinthespringandfall.*Cattails.Thesecanbefoundineverystate.Lookforwetareas.Thewhiteshootsaredelicioussteamedlikeasparagus.Inearlysummer the greenmale flowers canbe cooked and eaten likecorn, although they tend to be a bit dry. The pollen can becollected inmid-summer and kept as a nutritious addition todishes.Inwinter,therootscanbedugfromthecoldmuckandmashed, dried, and pounded to collect their starch to thickensoups.*Ramps. Similar to leeks, you’ll find these in themountains ofthe South. Wild onions make everything wilder. Or, at leastthey do when the only other thing you have to eat is somewhitericeandaday-oldbagel.*Berries.Raspberries,blackberries,strawberries,thimbleberries,mulberries,thelistislonganddelicious.Sincetheberryseason

isshortandsweet,thesecanbedriedtostoreforlateruse.* Amaranth. The leaves are edible cooked or raw, but the realvalueisintheseeds.Tocollecttheseeds,cuttheflowerheadsinthelatesummerorfallandletthemdry.Oncedried,youcanrub or shake the grains free from the flowers. This grain issupernutritiousandstoreseasily.*Fennel.Celerymeetslicorice.Thestalkscanbeusedtomakeaplank for roasting fish, or as a stuffing in a roasted bird. Theyoung leaves can be used as flavoring additions in any dish.Thepollenandseedsstorewellandcanbeusedtoaddflavorandnutritiontofood.*Nettles.The leavesandyoungshootsarenutritious, tasty,andboost the immune system. But be careful when harvestingthem!Gloveswillprotectyoufromthesting.Boilthemintwochangesofwatertocompletelyremovethestingbeforeeating.*Kudzu.Thetenderspringshootscanbecookedlikespinachandthe roots can be collected for their starch, much like cattailroots.GrowslikeweedsintheSouth.* Pawpaws. These are a true American delicacy. They can befoundthroughoutthestateseastofthegreatplains.Whenripe,thefruitwillbesoftlikeapeach.*Purslane.You’llloveit.Cansteamit,cookit,putitinsoups,oraddfreshtoyoursalads.

DumpsterDivingWhenyou’re not in thewild-wild, but find yourself in urban or

suburbanparts,thiscanbeaviableoption.Whetherit’sreferredtoas dumpster diving, going freegan, eating at D-Mart, binning,tatting,urbanforaging,orsimplyfindingyourdinnerinagarbagecan,diggingthroughthetrashcansolvetheveryseriousproblemofbeing really hungrywithout a cent in your pocket. It can also betremendously rewarding—or some seriously unpleasant business—dependingonthedumpsteryouraid.

Theclosestyoumayhavecometothisinthepastisbeingseatedinarestaurant,thefoodorserviceistakingforever,andyoucanseethe plates on the table of the couple that just left and thinking,“thosefriesstilllookprettygood.”Goodplacestodumpster-diveareat grocery stores, restaurants and fast-food chains, bakeries, andconvenientstores.Aftertheyclose,alotoftheseplaceswilltossoutstill-wrapped sandwiches and food just a day after its expirationdate. Do a little reconnaissance, noting which places dump theirgarbagewhen,andyoucanhaveasteadysource.

Sincedumpstersareusually locatedonprivateproperty,thereisthe distinct possibility that local laws in your area prohibit yourvisittotheD-Mart.Ifyoudon’tcareandarewillingtotaketherisk,do it carefully and don’t make a mess. Note: Never go throughhospital waste. The last thing you need is to get jabbed bysomebody’s used needle. And beware of broken glass. Also, when

you dive, be aware of the local critters you might encounter.Raccoons love dumpsters. So do rats, spiders, and snakes. Itwouldn’thurt towear long sleeves,pants, andheavygloveswhilerummaging.Aheadlampcomesinveryhandyhere.

HUNTING

Old-timehoboswouldsometimeseatjustaboutanythingtheycouldgettheirhandson,andhobosstumblingintoajunglelateatnightwouldn’tbetoosurprisedtohear“possum”whentheyaskedwhatthatwasstrunguponastickoverthefire.And“squirrel”wouldn’thavethrownanyoneforaloop,either.

Because the basic idea is that you’re not traversing theAlaskaninterior in fur boots with a rifle hell bent on seceding from theUnion. If you are having fantasies of going all Middle Ages–styleandsittingaroundafireeatingroastmeatofftheboneandmakinga mess, it’s probably going to stay a fantasy. However, if, undersome strange circumstance you do manage to catch yourself asquirrel or a possum, or in a wild, uninhibited, return-to-naturemomentyoulieinwaitandatjusttherighttimeleaponthebackofadeerandplungeyourknifeintoitsneck,oryougetjumpedbyabearandserendipitouslyfallonyourbackanddiscoveryourSwissArmy knife was open and ended up in the beast’s heart, by allmeanstryyourhandatturningthesituationintodinner.

AndThenThere’sRoadkillTherearethosewho,perhapsforbraggingrightsorjustforshock

value,claimtoeatroadkill.IfyouhavebeenlostintheSierrasforthreeweeks and are on the verge of true starvation and for somereason you’re able to discover roadkill that was clearly hit by avehiclebutforwhateverreasonhaven’thadthesameluckyourselfinencounteringavehicle,perhapsthenyoumightconsiderscrapingthisbitoffthepavementandthrowingitoveryourfire.Otherthanthat,it’sjustnotasmartidea.Unlessyou’vegotafeelforit,it’snotso easy to determine time of death. And since you didn’t see itbefore impact, you’ll have no ideawhether itwasmoving like ananimal thatwasalreadysick.Also, itdoesn’t take long for fliesorbacteria to start inon itbeforeyou’vecomeacross it, and the listcanjustgoonandon.

Still, one could make the argument that if you are alreadypreparedfordumpsterdiving,whydrawthelineatfreshroadkill?Ifthisisyourphilosophy,besuretoatleastadheretothefollowing.TESTINGYOURROADKILL’SFRESHNESSFACTOR

*Canyoumoveitslimbseasilyasiftheanimalisjustasleep?Ifnot,rigormortishassetin,andyoucanbeprettysurethattheanimal is at least a fewhours dead. This is onedinner betterleftuntouched.*Don’ttakeseconds.Iftherearesignsthatinsectsandflieshave

alreadyhadthefirsthelping,skipit.

Itmightnotbethefirstthingthatcomestomindwhenthinkingabout cooking up roadkill, but different states actually have lawsregarding what you can and can’t do with it. In Wisconsin, forexample,ifyouhitadeer(unlikelyasahobo),youcantakeitwithyouifyougetpermission,butifyouhitaturkeyorabear,thestatehastomakeadecisionwhetheritwantstokeepitorsellit.Illinoishasalawthatifyouhitadeerwithyourcarandkillit,andleavethesceneoftheaccidentwithouttakingthedeer,anyIllinoiscitizencan take itprovidedhedocumentsandkeepsapersonal recordofwheretheanimalpartsarekeptuntilit’seaten.Thereyougo.

If you do try this, and are blown away by the results and think you just pulled offsomethingtooincrediblefortherestoftheworldnottoknowabout,youmightwanttomakeMarlinton,West Virginia, one of your next destinations for the PocahontasCountyRoadkillCook-Off.Hereyoucanputyourconcoctionupagainstotherssuchassquirrelgravyoverbiscuits.The2009winningrecipewasentitled“South-of-the-borderMishap,”andusedarmadillo.

WASHINGYOURPOTSANDPANSANDDISHESANDWHATEVERELSE

Most people would probably agree that washing dishes without adishwasher is a pain in the ass, and trying towash themwithoutunlimited water and instant hot water is even more of one. Theconventional washing-the-dishes-while-camping method is to usethreebins,whereyoufillonewithboiledwaterandatouchortwoofdishsoap,anotherwithhotwaterbutnosoap,andathirdwithjustcoldwater.

1. Scrapeoffanyleftoverfoodandplacethedirtycookware/plates/utensilsintothefirstbinandscrub,scrub,scrub.

2. Transferthemintothesecondtubwhereyougivearinsingandworkoffmostofthesoap.Finally,puttheminthethirdbinwhereyougivethemafinalrinse.

Thisworksawesomeifyourcariswithinafewhundredfeet,theriver(orspigot)isjusttoyourleft,andyoudon’tplantohoofallofthesebinsonyourbackforsixmonths.Soyou’llneedtoadjusttoyoursurroundingsabit.

Onethingthatmakeswashingdishesandpansunnecessaryisnottousethem.Ifyou’vehadenoughofgranolaoutofthebagandareready for somehot coffee in lieuof coldwater, think strategically

anduseasfewdishesaspossible(whichmaynotbetootrickygiventhatyouprobablyonlyhaveoneor twotobeginwith). Ifyouusedishes,thatwholeideaofgettingstuckinafoodcomaandwaitinguntil thenextdaytowashthemwon’t flyhereunlessyouwanttomake the chore waymore difficult. Best to clean up immediatelyafter dinner, which doesn’t give the food time to harden on yourcookware.Whenyou’rereadytostart,here’swhat’sup.

If you’renearbyawater source, takeyourpot there, fill itwithsomewater,takeitbackwithyou,putyourutensilsinit,thentakeadashofyourliquidsoapandswishitallaroundabunch,giveitaquickrinsewithsomefreshwater,andyou’redone.

Ifyou’renotnearwater,youwanttouseaslittleofthewateryouhaveasyoucan.Ifyou’reusingonepot/mugtobothcookandeatoutof,water-based foodsare theeasiest to clean.Adda splashofhotwater,swisharound, ifyouneedtoaddanothersplash,swish,thenlayitasidetodry.

Ifyou’verunoutofsoaporarejustaboutdowntothedregsandarehopingforabaththefollowingday,youcancleanyourpotswithalittlewaterandsomesand,mud,orash from the fire.Touse the ash, takewhatever’s handyand scoop someof thehotcoalsandashintothedirtypot.Addjustenoughwatertomakeagoodgoop,andthendropyourdirtyutensils into thepot.Let it sit fora fewminutes,and thenusing thecoalsasascrubber,proceedtoscrub.Thenrinsewithwater.

“Aha!”yousay,“butit’swinterandtotallysnowingandfreezingandthere’snowayinhellI’mgoingtobestickingmyhandsinanywater.”Asbefore,firstlineofdefenseisnottoevenuseanydishes,but if you do have a dirty pot or two, as soon as you’ve finished

with themeal, toss some snow in, scrub it around, then splash alittleboilingwaterin,swirl,anddump.Goodtogo.

Withyourhobodigsinfineform,yourbellyfull,andyourdishesclean,it’stimetostartthinkingaboutmakingsomemoneyhereandtheresoyoucanmaintainyournewlifestyle.

 Remember:Whenyou’reoutthereonyourownandwithoutahome,twothingsyou’veupuntilnowprobablytakenforgranted—findingthingstoeatandaplacetosleepforthenight—aregonnaberightupthereonyourto-dolist.Butwithsomeskills,anopenmind,perseverance,andmaybeavisitor twototheD-Mart,you’llquicklylearntomakeyourhomewhereveryouare.

DidYouKnowJackLondonHoboed?

Bestknown forwritingCall of theWild andWhiteFang, JackLondonalso servedhistime traveling as a hobo, and later immersed himself in London’s East End livingamong thepoor to better understand the conditionsunderwhich they lived,writingaboutit inThePeopleof theAbyss.HewasbornJohnGriffithChaneyin1876inSanFrancisco.WhenhisfatherlearnedJohn’smotherwaspregnant,hedemandedsheendthe pregnancy, andwhen shewouldn’t, he refused any and all responsibility for thebaby thatwould come.Devastated,while still pregnant John’smother shotherself—butsurvived.Afterhewasbornshegavehimupandhewasraisedbyafostermother,anex-slave.Ayearlater,whenhismothermarriedaCivilWarveteran,JohnLondon,shetookherbabyback.

Hewasworkinginacannerybytheageofthirteen,andbysixteenborrowedsomemoney from his fostermother, purchased a boat, and became an oyster pirate. EastcoastoysterswereinhighdemandatthetimeandwerebroughttoCaliforniaoverthetranscontinentalrailroadandtransplantedandgrowninartificialbedsonlandownedby the Southern Pacific Railroad. The growers’ monopoly on the oysters led toexcessiveprices,andunder thecoverofnight, the“pirates”wouldraidthebedsandsell the oysters at the Oakland markets the following morning. There was a lot ofresentmenttowardtherailroads,andthepirateswereseenasAmericanRobinHoods.

InhisteenshechangedhisnametoJack.

AtthestartofhishobodaysandintheopeningtoTheRoad,Londondescribesthescene in Reno, Nevada, in 1902, where a “horde” of hungry hobos went aroundbangingonpeople’sbackdoorsuntil thepeoplestoppedansweringthem. Inhisownattempttogetsomefood,hewenttoonehouseandwhenhenoticedthewifestandingbehindherhusband,hefiguredhemightgetsomesympathy.Heaskedthehusbandforsomethingtoeatandwaschallengedtoworkforitbymovingbricks.TheyendedupgettingintoaphilosophicaldebatecenteringonwhatkindofpersonJackwasandhowhewasunlikethehomeowner.Jackaskedifheshouldtrytobemorelikethehusband,whosaidyes,heshould.TowhichLondonrepliedthatifeveryonewerejustlikehim,therewouldn’tbeanyonetomovehisbricks.

Londonrodefreighttrainseast, finallyarrivinginNiagaraFalls.Heslept inafieldthatnight,andinthemorning,whilewalkingintotown,hewasaccostedbyapoliceofficerwhoquicklyidentifiedhimasa“tramp”andmarchedhimstraighttojail.Alongwithaslewofotherhobos,Londonwashauledintocourt,wherethejudgewentrightdownthe line,askingwhat thechargewas.Each timethechargewasvagrancy,andeach time he sentenced the hobo to thirty days in the penitentiary, which is whatLondon received. Adding insult to injury, London tells that one of the men, whenquestionedbythejudgeastothereasonforhisvagrancy,answeredthathehadlosthisjob.Thejudgethengavehimanotherthirtydaysforlosingit.

CHAPTER5GettingBy

“REAL”-WORLDCONSIDERATIONS

“A man who leaves home to mend himself and others is aphilosopher; but hewho goes from country to country, guided bytheblindimpulseofcuriosity,isavagabond.”

OLIVERGOLDSMITH,INTHECITIZENOFTHEWORLD

Unlessyouhavesomethingsetupbeforeyouhopthat first freightcarorhaveanunclethatknowsaguywhoknowsaguythatknowsaguywhohassomeworkforyou,you’regoingtohavetofindit.Althoughyou’veprobablyonlythoughtabouthowyou’llbelogginga few thousandmiles cruising the countrysideorwinding throughthemountainsonafreighttraintakingpicturesofyourselflookingeverybit thedesperado . . .atsomepointyou’regoingtohavetogetdowntobusinessandearnafewbucks.

Looking through a deli storefront window with an empty bellyandwithoutanickel tochewonwhilepeople insidecasually take

monstrousbitesoutofasubcanjustaboutsplityourbraininhalf.Look at this as one of the sacrifices you’ve made to have yourfreedom,andremindyourselfthatsubsalwayslookbetterthantheytaste anyway.Maybe in the past you thought that “theman”wastheonekeepingyoudownandmakingyourlifemiserable.Butnowyoucan’thelpbutseethathewasalsoprovidingapaycheck,healthinsurance,aplacetogoeveryday,gasforthecar,andsomesortofstructureforyourlife.Yes,lifewithout“theman”canbegreat.Youcan stand outside an office building at 9:15 in the morning inwhateverT-shirtyoulikemakingfacesatthepeopleinside.Ontheotherhand,whenitdropstotwentydegreesandyou’restillinthatT-shirtbecauseanythingwarmercostsmoneyyoudon’thave,youhavetoadmit“theman”makeslifeeasier.

Sonowyouneedsomework.Itmayseemliketediumandexactlythe kind of thing you’d hoped to escape by tossing yourself in aboxcarinthefirstplace,anditcanbe—stackingboxesinsomeone’sdusty attic when it’s a hundred degrees and all you have to lookforward to is a thin mattress on the floor and oatmeal in themorningprobablywasn’toneofyourobjectives—butitcanalsobeacriticalpartofyouradventure(andnotoftoolittleimportanceifyouhopetobeeatingsomethingmoreexcitingthanbeansandrice—orevenjustbeansandrice,forthatmatter).

WHERETOFINDWORK

Beforeyoucanevenbegintocomplainabouthowhotanddustyitis and that all you’re getting in return is a nasty place to sleep,you’vegottofindthat job.Whenitcomestothispartofhoboing,youmay have thought all you needed to dowas hang out at thelocalbarlongenoughandsomestrangerwouldwalkin,sizeuptheplace,spotyou,marchover,andofferyoua jobbecauseyou looklike the kind of person who could do it. And this could happen,depending on the state of the other people at the bar at thatparticularmomentandifhisneedsrequirehimtowalkoutthedoorwith an employee, but it’s a long shot. And unless you feel likewalking barefoot or can find someone crazy enough to buy yourliquidsoap,youdon’thaveanythingtosell.Therefore,mostlikely,you’llhavetoputyourmindtothetestandsleuthoutthework.

Without rent, a mortgage, utility bills, car payments, andwhatever else necessitates a steady stream of income, you’re at adistinctadvantage.Allyouneedistoeverysooftenhearsomeonesaysomethingtotheeffectof,“Yeah,Imightjusthavesomething,whydon’tyouswingby,”andyou’vegotafewbucksinyourpockettocarryyouthroughtoanotherday.

OnlineCraigslist cannot be beat for this type of thing. Nothing even

comes close to it. Looking under the “gigs” section, in cities andtowns across the United States, you will find a plethora of workoptions tokeepyourpockets full enough toput food in thebelly,get you a book to read, and set you on your way to your nextdestination. You’ll find everything from people needing help withtheirmove fora fewhours topeoplewhoneedadoororwindowreplaced.

TempAgenciesThis can be tricky because you won’t have a home address (if

you’restayingputforanextendedperiodoftime,youcouldrentaPObox from thepost office), but if youknow someonewho liveswhereyoucurrentlyare,youcanaskhimifyoucanusehis.Ifyouleavetownbeforeapayday,yourfriendcanthenmailthechecktoyou when you’re set up in your next destination. If you have anaccountatanationwidebank,youcandepositthecheckintoyouraccount.Ifyoudon’t,youcansuckitupandtakeittooneofthoserip-off check-cashing places that specialize in getting you yourmoneyquickundertheconditionthattheygettokeepachunkofit,too.

LocalBulletinBoardsLots of great temporary gigs are posted here. Look in the

Laundromat,hardwarestore,grocerystore,publiclibrary,andtownhalltofindpeoplelookingforeverythingfromsomeonetopaintashedtosomeonetohaulfirewoodforafewdays.

NewspapersLooking for jobs through the local paper might seem like an

outdatedidea—anditis—butinsmallertownsthisisstilloftenthemainway people advertise. True, people probably aren’t going topostanadinthepaperthattheyneedsomeonetomowtheirlawntomorrow, but you don’t knowwhat youmight bemissing unlessyoulook.

HittheStreetsFindabusinessorshop,walk in,andsee if theyneedhelpwith

anything, making it clear that you’re not looking for anythingpermanent. They could have a large shipment out back, forexample,thattheyneedunloadedandaremorethanhappytogivesomeone ten bucks to do it, or a couple hundred flyers theyneedfoldedandstuffedintoenvelopes.

TalktoPeopleGoplaceswherepeoplecongregateandjustmingle.Thinkparks,

coffee houses, etc. You can try this at bars too,where after a fewdrinks people can start feeling a littlemore generous, but just becarefulyoudon’tgetsuckeredinandendupdrinkingawayallthemoneyyoudohaveonlytoaskthequestiontowardtheendofthedrinking session and hear them say, “Oh, I don’t have any workrightnow.”

DayLaborLots of town and cities have day labor siteswhere you can go,

hang for theday,andhope tobepickedup foraday’swork,andyougetpaidthesameday.Ifthingsgowellyoumightgetanotherdayor twooutof it, potentially evenmore,but themainpoint iseven ifyougo fivedays inaweekandonlygetone joboutof it,you’llhavemadeenoughtofeedyourselfforafewweeks.

HOWTOSECUREWORK

Justbecauseyou’vegivenuppossessionofanaddressdoesn’tmeanalltherulesforeveryoneelsehavechanged.Forthemostpart,theaspectsoffindingajobbackinthe“realworld”applyhereaswell.Youstillneedtoknowhowtoapproachandtalktopeople,howtopresentyourselfinapositivelight,andhow—evenwhenthejobistemporary—to project the impression you’ll see the job through.Anyonewhohascomebeforeyouandtakenajobonlytosplittownwithhalfthejobdonebecausehe“justfeltlikeit”hasstackedthedeckagainstyou.Whenyouaregiventhebenefitofthedoubtandsomeone agrees to give you some cash—or a place to stay—inexchangeforsomecommitmentonyourpart,followthrough.You’lllikeyourselfbetter for it in theend,andwhenthenextoptimistic“Angelina” saunters in fresh from the rails looking for somework,hemaybenefitfromyourgoodconduct.

Angelina:Ayoungkidwithoutanyexperience.“Hadtopoint out to this Angelina the reason his train wasn’tleavingtheyardwasbecauseitwasn’tevenonatrack.”

Youneedtotalktopeople,andalotofpeople.Andyouneedtobeunabashedly clear that you’re looking for a littlework, a day’sworthorevenjustafewhours,andsomeone,eventually,willhook

youup.Youneed to keep at it even after you’ve been shot downten, twenty, thirty times. There are some things working in yourfavor. One is that you don’t need to make a lot of money, justenough to get by and make it to your next point of interest, sounless they’re asking you to do something for free, you have theflexibility to make a deal and don’t have to waste a lot of timetryingtosqueezethemforeverylastpenny.

You’re alsonot looking for a career, you’re either looking todosomethingyouhaveskillsforthatthepersonhiringyoudoesn’t,oryou’regoingtodosomethingforthatpersonthattheydon’twanttodo themselves. And everyone with a house has more than a fewthings they need done that they don’twant to do themselves andwouldbehappy togive someonea couplebucks todo.That’s thegreatthingaboutwhatyou’relookingtodo.

Regardless of the type of job you’re looking for, it’s best not toshowupatanyoftheseplaceslookingforworkwithyourbindleinfullbloomandyourfacelookinglikeyoujusttookadustbath.Bustoutyourgladrags,leavethebagat“home,”andgoinlookingtight.Youroddswillbea lotbetter. It’salsobestnot to lie,or to lieaslittleaspossible.

gladrags:Thebestsetofclothesahobohasandkeepscleanforthoseoccasionswhenpresentationiskey, likewhentryingtogeta job.“Damn,I’mlookin’tightwiththesegladrags.”

SEASONALJOBS-VACATION,RECREATION,ANDTHEHOLIDAYSPIRIT

The days of working and living like you just walked out of theGrapes of Wrath have been forever changed, but there are stillseasonal jobsavailable, andonceyouopenyourmind to it, you’llseethatthereareactuallymanymoreseasonaljobsthantherewerein the past.Who got paid tomake fake snow in a Laredo, Texas,parkinglotsolittlekidscouldsnowboardforafewfeetinbackin1896?

ColdMonthsIfyouski,andskiwell(orcanatleastmakeitlookgood),digup

any connections you may have and see if you can land a skiinstructorpositionforthewinter.Youcouldalsojustshowupwitha pair of skis and act like you knowwhat you’re doing—but thatusuallyonlyworksinmovies.Forgetmajorresorts,astheytendtohire people who are a bit more “professional,” but smalleroperationsneedhelptoo(someoneneedstoteachkidshowtosnowplow).Justbecausetheydon’thave5,000verticalfeetliketheydoin Colorado and Tahoe doesn’t mean you can’t go skiing inWisconsin. Even if you can’t ski, resorts also have any number ofjobs to fill, ranging fromworking in the food service to the rentalshopstosnowmaking.Digdeep.

Particularly during the winter, places like UPS and FedEx hiretemporary help to keep up with holiday volume, and departmentstoresalsooftenneedwrappersaroundthesametime.

Beahoboentrepreneur.Findabuddy,rentaU-haul,gotoatreefarminthecountryandbuyabunch.Bringthembacktoanurbanareaandsellthemoutofthebackofyour truck.Aswith any entrepreneurial endeavor, this involves risk.Youneed someupfrontcapitaltobuythetreestobeginwith,andyouneedtodoalittleassessmentofdemandbeforeyoupurchasetwentytreesandgetstuckwithfifteenDouglasfirsandanadditionalsixtygallonsofdieselyoudon’tneed.

Whensomecitiesgetahugesnowfallsthatreallyclogsthingsup,they will sometimes put out a call looking for a temporary labor

forcetohelpshovel.Weird,buttrue.Takeadvantageofit.

WarmMonthsThe summer provides opportunities along the same lines. Ever

been a camp counselor? Think you could be? Like kids? Try andplanaheadandseeifyourustleupaposition.Surf?Getyourselftoabeachandofferlessons.Doesn’tneedtoconsistofanythingmoreformalthanoffering.Duringthesummerseason,aswell,parkswilloften need people toman the parking kiosks,maintain trails, andkeepthebathroomsclean.Asanaddedboon,youcanoftenfindagoodplacetocampnottoofarfrom“work.”

Anotheroptionwhereyoucanreallyliveitupisoncruiseships.Theyoftenneedhelpaswellinfoodserviceandhospitality.

beachcomber:Whenahobospendsmostofhistimeonthewaterfront,he’sabeachcomber.

TheFinalFrontierIfhoppingfreightcarsandhitchingrideswithstrangersandafew

nightssleepingoncardboardinanoldcaboosehaveproventoyouthatyoucankeepcompanywithanyoneandyou’re innoneedofglamour, go to Alaska and land a seasonal job in the fishingindustry. You probablywon’twant to look at another fish for therest of your life, but the pay can be decent, you’ll get in shape,you’llhaveaplacetostay,andthememoriesandthesmellinyournostrilswill last you the rest of your life. Previous experiencenotneeded, as anyone who already had some probably wouldn’t belookingtogainanymore.

But Alaska, for whatever reason—perhaps their lack of a largepopulation—can be an amazing source of employment. They’reconstantly advertising for people to help with the parks, tours,lodges,andcruiselines.

AgricultureIndustrial farming has putmany a hobo out ofwork.Machines

have reduced the amount of labor in some casesdown to the fewpeoplewhooperatethemachinery.Buteventhoughmachineshaveeliminatedtheneedforarmiesof temporaryworkers, theyhaven’tcompletely obliterated seasonal jobs working in agriculture.Additionally there are a few groups, some international, such asWWOOF, that arrange relationships between organic farms andvolunteerswho,inreturnforasetnumberofhoursofwork,receivefreefoodandlodging.Alittlebit liketheolddays.Butremember,going up to a farmer in theMidwest and asking if he needs helpharvesting the wheat is a bit like bringing a club to a gunfight.Useless.Finally,ifyouplanonlookingforagriculturalwork,makesure you show up in the right place at the right time; hoping tomake some money in Minnesota during the apple season butarrivinginSt.PaulduringMaywillleaveyoupickingmorepocketlintthananythingelse.

Faced with a labor shortage in the 1950s, the California tomato harvest wasthreatened. While mechanized harvesting had been tried, it usually resulted inspaghettisauce,asthetomatoeswereconsequentlycrushedintheprocess.Inresponse,researchers at UC Davis developed the “square tomato,” which solved the problem.Though not really square, machines could pick them, and because they weren’tcompletelyround,theydidn’tfalloffconveyorbelts,andsurvivedtransportation.The“parents” of these tough tomatoeswere chosen through the following test:A farmerwentthroughthefields,pickeduprandomtomatoes,andthrewthemintotheroad.Ifthetomatosurvived,theywerebredfurther,iftheydidn’t,nobabiesforthem.

ROUGHPICKINGSEASONGUIDELINES

* Tomato picking happens in central California, a bit near theGreatLakes,andsomeintheNortheast.*Peppers,beinginlovewiththeheat,springupintheSouth.*Peoplestillpickpearsandapples;thinklatesummer.ApplesaremostlygrowninWashingtonstateandNewYork.* Oranges are mainly grown in the South, and the same withpeaches.* Most table grapes, those you eat in bunches and find in thegrocery store, are grown east of the Mississippi and fromCanadasouthtoFlorida.Winegrapes,ontheotherhand,areinnorthernandcentralCalifornia, and inOregon,mostly in latefall.Andinadditiontopickingthegrapes,wineriesoftenneedhelp with the processing. They don’t turn into wine bythemselves.

roadstake:Theamountofmoneyahobomakeswhileworking out on the road. Traditionally a hobo mightworkthesummermonthstogetupalargeenoughstakethathecouldthenliveonforthewinterinhobohemia.

The animal farming industry such as dairy farms, ranching,chickens,andsoonarenotseasonal,runthroughouttheyear,andoften need labor help. If you’re lucky, you can even get to ride ahorse and do your best Lonesome Dove interpretation. Again, your

best bet for finding farmwork doesn’t involve showing up at thelargest commercial farm outside of DesMoines. Look for smaller,mom-and-pop-stylefarms.Whilewalkingdowntheroad,ifyouseesomeone riding a tractor, walk right up and ask if he needs anyhelp.Hemightgiveyousomeworkandletyousleepinthebarnorat least throwyour tentup somewhereonhis165acres.Andyouneverknow,hemayevenputyouup inyourown roomandgiveyouafreshpairofbootswhenheseestheconditionofyours.

GoodWorkIfYouCanGetItItboilsdowntothis:Askyourselfwhatskillsyouhave,andthen

trytocapitalizeonthem.Canyoucraft,sew,type,repairstuff,haulstuff, cook? Youwould be surprised atwhat can happen, becausejust like intheheydayofthehobo,thereareplentyofpeopleandbusinesseswhoonlyneedadayortwoofhelp,andwhilethatdoesnothing for a “regular” job seeker, it’s a lifeline for a temporaryworker, as you probably only need a few days to restock the ol’wallet. After all, you’re not trying to fill a bank account (thoughshould theopportunitypresent itself . . .),andyouprobablydon’treallywanttostickaroundmuchlongerthanthatanyway.It’sgoodforbothofyou.

barnacle:Intheeyesofahobo,anyonewhohasstayedwith thesame job formore thanayearorhasbeen inthe same place for a long time. Long enough to becomparedtoabarnacle.

Whichiswhatyou’vegotgoingforyou.You’vedon’tneedmuch.Look at the cost of things. You’re living essentially for free, youdon’thaveanyutilities topay for; all youneed is enoughcash topurchasesomecriticalsupplies.

BANKS

Realisticallyspeaking,it’shardtogetbywithoutabankaccount,aplacetoputyourmoneyotherthanjust inyourwalletoraZiplocbag.Youprobablyalreadyhaveoneandshouldconsiderkeepingitasyouhittheroad.ATMscanbesuperconvenient,providedyou’reusingonethatbelongstoyourbank.Otherwiseyouenduppayinganywhere from five to tendollars for takingout twenty.To avoidthis, get an accountwith a large national bank that hasATMs allovertheplace.Makesiteasiertodoeverything—makedepositsandgetmoney,evenbuysupplieswhenyoudon’thaveanycash.

STRETCHINGTHEDOLLAR

Youmightwonder, given theknowledge thatyoucouldblow$50ondinnerfortwoinaninstant,howlongyoucouldliveoffitwhenyou’renotbuyinglattes.Thereareavarietyofwaystotightenyourmoneybelt.

stamp collectors: People collecting food stamps inseveralcitiesalongarailline.

HOARDINGPENNIES

*Whenyoushopforsupplies,checkoutthecircularsmostplaceskeep near their entrances. You’ll often find some prettyamazingdeals,particularlywhentheyendupwithanoverstockofsomeitem.Howmuchtunacanyoueat?Maybealotwhenit’stwenty-fivecentsacan.*Ifyouhaveanexpensivecoffeehabit,killit.Starbuckscanturnanalreadythinwalletintoanemaciatedone.*Asmoker?Therehasneverbeenabettertimetoquit.Youcankeeponeonyoutosmokeinthatdramaticmomentwhenyouget pinned between two train cars and feel your life slowlywaning,butotherwise,you’llbebeatingyourselfovertheheadthe next time you run out ofmoney and realize you’ve spent

$75onsmokessinceyoulefthome.*Barswillalsokillyourwallet.Abettermethod is tobuyyourbeeratthegrocerystoreorconveniencestoreandbringitbackto camp with you or wherever it is you’re staying. If you’remoreintothesocialscenethanthedrinkingscene,hangatthebarbutlimitthedrinking.*Buygenericwheneverpossible.

Stretchyourmoneytothebreakingpoint,whereyou’vegottensomuchoutofthatdollarandsqueezeditsodryit’snolongerworthanything,then—andonlythen—shouldyouthinkaboutstartinginonanotherone.Weliveinthemostconsumer-drivensocietyintheworld, and trying to reprogram yourself is no simple task. You’relikeaguyfindinghissealegs,exceptthatyou’reonlandandyou’retrying to learnhow towalk aroundwithout spending anymoney.Youneed to saveeverythingyoucan forwhat’scomingupahead.There’s nothing like spending a couple dollars on an unnecessaryimpulse buyonly to later comeacross something you really need,likebusfare,butyou’rethirtycentsshy.Thatjustsucks.

Everybody always wants more; it’s the way we’re conditioned.Youarenowconditioningyourselftosurviveonlessandbehappywithwhatyou’vegot.Thiswilltakesomediscipline.

Sinceeverypossible thingyoucomeacrosshasbeenmonetized,this is actually a fairly simple endeavor. Look forwhat youwant,then buy the one that’s the cheapest. If you’re thirsty, go for thedrink that doesn’t have anything special going on, as “special”always costs something. For example if you’re going to buy soda,

considerseltzer,andthegenericbrandat that.Atwhichpointaskyourself,whydon’tIjustdrinksomewater?Youjustsavedyourselfsomemoney.

Andwhenyouthinktoyourself,asyouundoubtedlywillasyoutry to rationalize the purchase of something, “Whatever, it’s like,$1.39,”addthatupafewtimes.Theninaweek,afteryou’vesavedyourselffromnineortensodapurchases,you’lllookdown,discoveryoursocksaretoast,andrealizeyoucanbuyafreshthree-packofsocks with the soda money you would have spent to keep thosefancySuperBowladsontheair.

 Remember:Soonerorlateryournewfreewheelingcountrysideroamingwayo’lifewillscreamoutforsomefinancing.Youcanachievethisprettymuchanywayyoucanexceptforsittinginthemiddleofthewoodsjustthinkingaboutit.Getoutthereanddoit.

DidYouKnowGeorgeOrwellHoboed?

EricAllanBlair,whoisknownmorebyhispenname,GeorgeOrwell,andforhisbooksAnimal Farm and1984,was born in 1903.As a teenager he read Jack London’sThePeopleoftheAbyss,wasinspired,andlaterfollowedsuit:Hedecidedtoliveasatramp,dressed the part, adopted the lifestyle, and traveled through society’s underbelly,working odd jobs, and later wrote Down and Out in London and Paris about hisexperiences.HespenttimeinEngland’sworkhouses,pickedhops,washeddishes,andworkedinabookstorewherehebecamesodisgustedwithcustomersthathestartedtohatethebooksaswell.

After hearinghoppicking romanticizedby otherwriters (most likely not anywhohaddoneitthemselves),in1931Orwellthoughttogiveitashot.Hesetoutwithfourothers, traveling from farm to farm looking for jobs, camping out in the fields, andwhen the weather was bad spending the night in a “spike,” a building where thetrampswerekeptseparatefromthemainbuildingoftheworkhouse.Whentheyfinally

did arrive at the hop farm, Orwell found nothing romantic about it. He wrote to afriendthatheandthreeotherworkersweregivenaccommodationsinatinhopperhut,withopenwindowsthatletintheweather,andnofurnitureotherthanhay.

In thesame letter,Orwell sharedsome things thathehad learnedwhile tramping:Thattogetridofthesmokytastewatercouldget frombeingboiledoverafire,youcouldputawoodchipintothewater,thatwhensleepingoutsideitwaswarmertolayyourcoatoveryourselfasablanketthanwearit,andthatthebesttimetobegmeatfromabutcherwasonSaturdaynights.

And in an interesting parallel to what was going on at the same time with theAmerican hobo, he added as a postscript that he had yet to come across any of themarkingshehadheardtrampswouldleavetocommunicatewhatyoucouldexpectatanygivenhouse,andthoughtthat thepracticemusthavebeendiscontinuedbecausenoneofthetrampshehadspokentowereawareofsuchasystem.Butperhapssomeofthe best advice given to Orwell during his travels came from Boris, a travelingcompanion.Bothlookingforwork,OrwellnotedtoBoristhathelookedpale,towhichBoris replied, “Curse it, what can one do on bread and potatoes? It is fatal to lookhungry.Itmakespeoplewanttokickyou.”

CHAPTER6GettingGoing(Again)AWISEHOBOISAHAPPYHOBO

“Whenyougettoaforkintheroad,takeit.”

-YOGIBERRA

As you make your way, on top of many of the other challengesyou’re facing,a fairly largeonecanbestayingclean, fromgettingthedirtoffyour face togetting thegrass stainsoutofyourpants,things that were once fairly simple can now seem epic. Littleobstaclescaneventuallyadduptosomeseriousneedtokvetch,andkvetching to yourself can be pretty unrewarding. It can be reallynice to, at some point, break up your solitude by finding like-mindedpeople toshareyour trialsand tribulationswith,andheartheirs in return. They’re out there, and they can be your newcommunity.

KEEPINGCLEANSHOWERING-ORSOMETHINGCLOSETOIT

Chancesareahotshowereachdayfollowedbyathickcottontowelis a routine you left behind. But there are still options. Themostbasic,whichtakesalmostzerotime,istousewetwipesandrubbingalcohol.With thismethod you can prettymuch clean yourself offwithouthavingtoremoveyourclothes(perfectforreallycolddaysand times when privacy is nonexistent), and your smell andappearanceareimmediatelyimproved.

IntheWildIfwater isavailableand the temperature isn’t toocold,go fora

swim. Take your soap inwith you (use a biodegradable brand toavoid polluting thewater) and go at it. You could start the swimwithyourclothesonandwashthem, too,providedyouhavetimeandamplewarmthforthemtodry.Ifit’sashallowstreamyoucan’tgetinto,useyourcup(orpotifyou’retravelingwithcookware)asascoop,thenpourandscrub.Itcanbeaprettychillyexperience,butitcanwakeyouupbetterthancoffee—anddoesn’trequireafire.

PublicRestroomsMoving up the scale, seek out a public restroom, where you’ll

haveasink,papertowels,andliquidsoapatyourdisposal.Standingstraightnudeinfrontofthesinkaspeoplecomeinandout isnotthe idea,unlessyoucanhandlesomehardglaresandstaring five-year-olds and a ticket for indecency. Wash your hands well withyourclotheson,andthengofortheface.Rejoicenowifyouhaveshorthair,asallyouneedisaquicksplashandwipewithapapertowel.Done.Noonewillbethewiser,andyoucanalwayspass itoffasifyoujustneededalittlewake-upwaterbecauseyou’vebeendriving all night andhave a longdrive ahead.Takeyour shirt offand go for a quickunderarmand chest scrub, thenput your shirtbackon.Lastly,ifyouhaveawashclothyoucanwetitandtakeitinto a stallwhere you can attack your lower sections. If not, justloosen your pants andwith aminimumofwater go for the groinandupperthighs.Whenyou’vefinished,pullyourpantlegupanddoonelegatime.Samewiththefeet.Thewholeprocessbecomesalot simpler if you’re at a restroom at odd hourswhen there’s lesstraffic,orifyoujusttaketheattitude,“Whatever,I’vetranscendedthisnormalstuff.”

Ifyouhappen tobe traveling thehighways,many truck stopshave showersyoucanuse.At$9to$15it’snotthecheapestoption,butforthosetimeswhenyou’rereallybeatandfeellikesplurgingwithoutgettingahotelroom,theservicecan’tbebeat.Andthis isnot likeahugeroomwith twentyshowerheadswhereyouhave toavertyoureyes from nineteen other people. You’ll often get a private roomwith clean towels,

soap,andshampoo.

SELF-MAINTENANCETIPS

*Washyourhandsregularlyandusehandsanitizer.*Avoid touching your face. People do this all the timewithoutevenbeingawareof it, anddespite conventionalwisdom thatyou get sick from getting things in your mouth, your mostvulnerablepartstogermsandbacteriaareyoureyesandnose.Trynottotouchorrubthemunlessyourhandsareclean.*Trytogetagoodsoapbathatleasteveryotherday.Thismayseemimpossible,butmakedowithwhatyoucanandpushtheextrabittomakeithappen.* Brush your teeth every day. Not just something your parentsanddentistalwaysbuggedyouabout,keepingahealthysetofteethandgumsisridiculouslyimportanttooverallbodyhealthandwell-being.*Changeyoursocksandunderweareveryday.Really.*Drink only boiled, purified, or iodizedwater unless you don’tmindameancaseoftherunsorsomethingworse,likegiardia.Don’tjustdrinkfromastream,lake,orpondthinkingthatjustbecauseit’soutin“nature”meansthatit’suntainted.Mostofitis. You can be drinking downstream from everything from anouthousetoafactorytoaleakysepticsystem.Purifyit.*Washforagedfoods(withpurifiedwater)beforeeatingthem.*Makesureyoureatingutensilsareclean.*Avoidsunburnbygraduallydevelopingatan.Ifyouwillbein

thesunlong,wearahatwithabrimandapanelinthebackto

protectyourneck.*Avoidheatstrokebyrestingduringthehottestpartoftheday(midday).

YourClothesPrepare for a change if you’re used to going a week or two

withoutdoinglaundry:Funkisyournewenemy.You’reonlygoingtohaveafewpairsofsocks,shirts,andunderwear,andtravelingasyou are, they’re going to get dirty. Really dirty. If you have anyhopes of visiting a coffee shop in town or picking up somework,you’llneedtokeepacleansetofclothesaround,your“gladrags.”Foraquickwashyouneedonlyadecent-sizedplasticbagwithoutholes,somewater,andyourDr.Bronner’s.Here’showtowashyourclothesontherun:

1. FillyourplasticbagwithsomewaterandsqueezeabitofDr.Bronner’sintoit.

2. Dropinyourdirtyclothes,rubthemtogether,andswishthemallaround

3. Letthemsitfortenminutes4. Pullthemout,pouroutthedirtywater,andrefillthebagwithcleanwater

5. Putyourclothesbackin,rinsethemwell,andthenwringthemwell.

Now you can make your own jungle, build a fire, wash yourclothes,andfeedyourself.Ifyouhaven’talready,it’shightimeyouwentoutandtriedtofindyourtribe.

HOBOSYMBOLS

Vagrancylawsbeingwhattheywere,earlyhobosarrivinginanewplace without much information as to where to go were prettyvulnerable.Unknowinglyknockingon thedoorofa judge’shouse,forexample,whilelookingforwork,couldbeasetback.Whenotherhobos, unaware of the first hobo’s experience, proceeded tomakethesamemistake,theproblembecameclear.Theyneededawaytospreadinformation.Therefore,theydevelopedacodeofsymbolssotheycouldcommunicatewithoneother.Thattheyweresymbolsasopposedtowordstookcareofanotherproblem:Manyhoboswereilliterate.Today,whileyoumaystillcomeacrossmeaningfulhobosymbolshereand there,mostof thewritingyou’ll find consistsofbasic “Iwashere” declarations, as opposed to “Tell thiswoman asobstoryandshe’llgiveyoufood.”

Still,nothingsays“seasoned”sowellasbeingabletotalkaboutthe way it was, and you may still find occasion where theknowledgecanbeuseful.Ifyouhavesomepeoplemeetingupwithyou, but they’re a few days behind, leaving a quick drawing thatwill eventually wash off with the rain so as not to cause anyvandalismmaybemoreeffectivethantryingtodescribe,“andthenyou’llsee,likeabush,withlittletinyberries,turnthere...”

Likewise,ifyou’vemetanotherhoboonhiswaytoatownyou’ll

beheadingtoafterthejobyou’reonnowends,hecantheoreticallyleadyouthroughaplaceyou’veneverbeensimplybystrategicallyplacing symbols. The whole idea is to be inconspicuous andtemporary;you’renotadvertisingaFather’sDaychickenbarbecue,andyou shouldonly reallydraw theattentionof thosewhoknowwhatthey’relookingfor.

Hobo codes could differ by region of the country, and wouldchangeovertimeifitseemedcitizenswerebeginningtocatchontothem. If you want to leave a message, you can form a fairlymeaningfulmessagethroughdifferentcombinations,suchas“Don’tgothatway,aguywithagunandareallymeandoglivesthere,butoverthiswayisaniceoldladywhowillsetyouupifyougiveherasadstory.”

Don’tbothergoingthisway

Gothisway

Ajudgeliveshere

Thisplaceisnotsafe

Officerofthelawliveshere

Notsafehere;crimecommitted

Kindwomanliveshere;

tellpitifulstory Dishonestpersonliveshere

Nothingtobegainedhere

Richpeoplelivehere

Goodplaceforahandout

Thisroadisspoiled; fullofotherhobosThisisawellguardedhouse

Hittheroad!Quick!

Theownerisout

Theauthoritiesherearealert

Freshwater;safecampsite

Jail

Holdyourtongue

Bepreparedtodefendyourself

Courthouse;precinctstation

Youcansleepinthehayloft

Thisistheplace

Alcoholinthistown

Gentlemanliveshere

Peoplehereindifferenttohobos

Viciousdoghere

Religioustalkgetsfreemeal

Okay,allright

Foodhereifyouwork

Dangerousneighborhood

Policeherefrownonhobos

Halt

Thisisagoodroadtofollow

Doubtful

Youcancamphere

Manwithagunliveshere

Therearethieveshere

Theskyisthelimit

Dangerousdrinkingwater

Trolleystop

Goodplacetocatchatrain

Barkingdogliveshere

Doctorherewon’tcharge

Abeatingawaitsyouhere

Illtemperedmanliveshere

TALKINGTHETALK:LANGUAGESKILLS

Sitting around a jungle with a bunch of hobos trash talking andtellingwarstories,youcanfeelprettyoutofplacewhenyou’reonlypicking up the meaning of three out of every five words spoken.Over the past hundred years hobos have weathered a lot ofcircumstances unique to their lifestyle, and as a consequencedeveloped some newwords, and newmeanings for old words, inordertobestconveywhatwentdown.Ifnointerpreterisavailable,itcanbehelpfultogetsomechoicewordslodgedinyourbrainsonotonlywillyouunderstandwhat’sbeingsaid,butyoucanprattleawayinyourownright.Asidefromtheonesyou’vealreadyfoundthroughout the book, here are a few more terms to learn:Bindlestiff:Ahobowithhisbindle.

“Bo”: Short for “hobo,” used by a hobo to refer to another.“That’bobestduckorhe’sliabletolosehishead.”

Bonepolisher:Aviciousdog.

Boneorchard:Agraveyard.

Bullets:Beansthatweren’tcookedrightandarestillhard.Mightnotkillyou,butnotallthatpleasant,either.

C,H,andD:Whatsomeonemightsay ifhe’scold,hungry,andthirsty.The“D”isfordry.“Yo’bo,I’mC,H,andD.”

Coverwiththemoon:Tosleepoutintheopen.

Elevated:Tobeundertheinfluenceofdrugsorbooze.

Flop:Aplacetosleep.Hotelsonskidrowandjustplainoldcheaponesingeneralwereknownas“Flophouses.”Notwhereanyoneofmeanstookhisfamilywhileonvacation.

Frisco circle: Method used by hobos to take up a communalcollection. Draw a circle on the ground, everyone who wants topartakeofwhat’stobeboughtthrowstheirchangeintothepot.

Gump:Referstoameatscrap,asin,“Hey,tossthatgumpintothemulligan.”

Hooch:Alcohol.

Jungle buzzard: (1)Ahobowho steals fromotherhobos. (2)Ahobowhohangsaroundthejungleswhilelivingoffothersbutnevercontributing.

Moniker/Monica:Thenicknamegiventoahobo,suchas“BuffaloSlim,”or“PancakePapa.”Usuallychosenbecauseitdescribeseitherthe hobo, where he’s from, or something he did or does. “Givenyour cooking ability, I’m thinking something like, ‘TennesseeBullets’oughtafit.”

Mulligan: Time-honored hobo stew. Made from whatever thehobospresentinthejungleatthatparticulartimehavetooffer.

Paddingthehoof:Travelingbyfoot.

Possumbelly:Torideontopapassengercar.Thehobohastolieflatonhisstomach,likeanactionheroontheroofofacar,tokeepfrombeingthrownoff.

Punk:Anyyoungkid

Reefer:Arefrigeratorcar.

Skypilot:Apreacherorminister.

LIFEINTHEJUNGLES

Perhapsuptothispointyou’vebeencampingbyyourselforstayingwith friends, family, or even on the occasional random couch. Ifduringyour travelsyoucomeacrosssomeotherhobos,whichyouinevitablywill,theymayclueyouintothelocationsofsomeactivejungles.Youprobablywillhavealreadyseenlong-abandonedjunglecemeteries.

These can be your homes away from home—as well as perfectplacestocommiserateaboutlifeontheroadwithotherlike-mindedindividualsfullofgoodinformation.Arobustjunglefilledwithkindpeople isawelcomepanacea toahard lifeon the road.Generallylocatednearenough to the railroadsoas tobeconvenientbut farenoughawaysoasnottoattracttoomuchattention,anidealhobolocation is also close to a water source to make cooking andcleaning convenient, and hopefully has enough wood around tokeep the fire going. As you approach,weary, thirsty, and hungry,you’llexperiencethereliefof“callingin”andgettingyourbatteriesrecharged. This iswhere you can find the true spirit of the hobo.Communal caring. This can be much needed, particularly whenyou’ve had a recent rough spell of hard traveling, no work, nomoney,nocompany,orsomemixtureofallofthem.

calling in:When a hobo comes in and shares another

hobo’scampfire.

Sinceyou’llbehangingoutwithotherhobos,thiscouldevenbeyourluckydaywhenyouacquireyourmoniker.Afteralongnightof spilling your guts and spinning your yarns, out of the blue,someone—although hemay have just tuned in to the last of yourstory—maysuddenlyutter thewords thatwill come todefineyoufor therestofyourhobo travels.Hopefully, itwon’tbesomethinglike, “shifty bastard,” or “ass backwards.” You’ll probably meet anumber of people whose monikers you’ve already come across.You’lllearnoftheplacestogoandtheplacestoavoid,whereyoucan catch a few nights sleep and a few days work. You can alsomeet up with folksmore experienced on the road than you, whomaytakeyouundertheirwingandshowyoutheropes.

Since this is “home,” creating and maintaining a communalenvironment for safeand supportive living is themaingoal.Makesure you do your part to keep it operating smoothly. You’llundoubtedly come across “jungle buzzards,” people takingadvantageofotherpeople’shardworkandcontributingnothinginreturn.Makesureyoudon’tbecomeoneofthem.Todaywehaveallsorts of names for these kinds of people: moochers, freeloaders,leeches,takers,etc.Noneofthemaretooflattering.

Today, jungles often take on an unpleasant quality. They wereonce among themost revered places a hobo could end up,wherepeople abided by unspoken rules that kept them relatively safe,clean, and hospitable. You didn’t leave your garbage around, you

didn’tpissinthejungleorevenrightnexttoit—youwentatleast100feetaway—everyonecontributedtothemulligan,andyouwerefreetousethecookingutensilsandwarethatexistedaslongasyoucleanedthemupwhenyouweredone.

Nels Anderson, an American sociologist, spent years studying hobos and the socialconditionsthatcreated,sustained,andultimatelydestroyedthem.Intriguedbyhobosandhoping tocreateabroaderculturalunderstandingbetween themand the restofsociety, in1923hepublishedhis research inTheHobo:TheSociologyof theHomelessMan.Hediscernedseveral junglerulesthatwerenevertobebroken;aquicklookatthem and one can see they would be as apropos now as they were back then.Essentially,asheunderstoodit,thejungleruleswereasfollows:

1. Don’tmakeafireatnightthatcouldattractattentioniftheauthoritieshavebeenknowntopayavisitinthepast.

2. Don’tstealfrompeopleatnightwhilethey’resleepinginthejungles.(Hecalledthis“hi-jacking.”)

3. Don’tallow“buzzing,”orlettingthejungleturnintoahospitalitycenterforjunglebuzzardswholiveoffofotherpeople’ssuppliesandmealleftovers.

4. Don’twastefood.5. Dowashthecookwareyouuseaftercookingandeating.6. Don’tcookonthecommunalfirewithoutdoingsomelegworkandbringinginwoodyourself.

7. Don’tbustupanyequipmentthatbelongstothejungle.Inotherwords,ifyouwanttoleaveyourtoolsandcookstoveoutintheraintogetrusty,that’syourbusiness.Iftheybelongtosomeoneelse,takecareofthem.

If youendup in theoneof the less-than-awesome jungles, theymay be filled with garbage and full of (mostly unhelpful) peoplewhomayormaynotbeactual “hobos”andhavemore interest inwhat’s in your pack than anything else. Today, jungles are oftenfilledwithdebris,whetherit’soldcarseatswithstuffingcomingout

or coucheswith the springspopping through the cushion, and the

ground littered with empty cans, beer bottles, and junk foodwrappers.Justbecausethis isoftenthestateof themodern jungledoesn’tmeanyoushouldparticipate.

KingsburyRunwasanoldriverbedrunningthroughCleveland,Ohio. Itwasalso thesiteofalargehobojungle,andthetraintracksranthroughit.Justtotheeastwasthe“RoaringThird,”atruedepictionofhobohemiafilledwithflophouses,bars,brothels,andgamblingdens.From1934to1938,thirteenpeopleweremurderedinthearea—all of them decapitated, most of them transients. As the murders went unsolved,pressuremountedonthepolice.Atonepointahoboabouttohopatraintrippedoversomething,onlytodiscoveritwasahumantorso.EliotNessofTheUntouchablesfamewas the safety director for the city. The killer soon gained the moniker, the “MadButcher.”Frustrated,Nesswentforafull-onraidoftheRunatmidnightin1938.Hiscrewstartedatoneendandworkedtheirwaydowntotheother,capturingsixty-threemen.Whentheywerefinished,Nessburnedthejungletotheground.Althoughamanwasjailedforthemurders(anddiedinjailbeforetrial),mostassumehewasinnocent,andthecaseremainsunsolved.

Jungles are also nowhere near as abundant as they once were.Convenient places for jungles were near water sources and nearplaceswhere trains stoppedormoved slowly. In thisway, jungleswerekindoflikehobotraindepots.Aprimeplaceforjunglesusedtobenearthewatertowerswheresteamtrainshadtostopinordertotakeonwater.Butasdiesellocomotivestookoverinthethirtiesand trains flew by at full speed, there was no longer a reason tomaintainjunglesintheseareas.

Around the same time, the railroadsmademore of a concertedeffort at reducing the number of jungles, primarily the permanentones,andhaveonseveraloccasionsgonethroughwithbulldozersto

furthermaketheirpoint.

You’ll probably find yourself making your own jungles as youtravel,sometimesmakingthemwithothersthatyoumeetalongtheway.Junglesdostillexist,andyour ticket in finding themwillbeconnectingwithotherhobos.

THENATIONALHOBOCONVENTION

Since 1900, TheNationalHoboConvention has taken place everysecondweekendinAugust;this iskindof liketheLollapaloozaforhobos—minus themassiveheadliners.A longweekend celebrationof all things “hobo,” you’ll meet all manner of characters there,from old-time hobos to yuppie and recreational hobos to peoplewhojust thinkhobosarecoolandwanttohangout. It’skindofa“who’swho” of hobodom, and all arewelcome. Thosewho aren’thobos,butliketheideaandenjoyexposure,arewarmlyreferredtoas “hobos at heart.” But before you get too excited and becomeconvinced you’re about to enter hobo heaven, know that itmightnot be quitewhat you’re expecting. Even in its first year in Britt,Iowa (previously itmoved fromplace toplace),manyhoboswereturned off by the “country fair” aspect of the get-together,somethingthathasonlyincreasedovertheyears.Todaytheeventsinclude hobo 5k and 10k races, a classic car show, the hobomuseum,artsandcrafts,andevenaboxcaronfakerailroadtracks.Purists sometimeshaveaproblemwith thewhole thing, finding itsomewhatofaparodyofwhatatruehobois.Whiletherearestillsomewhoarriveby rail,mostof theattendees arrivebybus, car,andRVs.Andthis isnot isolated to thenationalconvention; therearehobofestivalsacrossthecountryfilledwithhoboreenactmentsand recreations of hobo jungles, with people in character fieldingquestionsfromtheaudience.Perhapsnotyourscene.

Still, you can find some old-timers in attendance as well ascurrenthobos,andbylisteningandtalkingtopeopleyou’lladdtoyourhoborepertoireofsurvivalandtravelknowledge—alsoknownas “road knowledge,” which on your current path can be worthmore than a college education. You’ll get tips on where to catchtrains,whatplacesaregreatforworking,howtolivebetterontheroad, locationsofgood junglesacross thecountry,places towatchoutfor,andpeopleitmightbegoodforyoutohookupwith.You’llalso hear an enormous number of stories, hear hobo songs youwon’t hear anywhere else, and get towatch the coronationof thehobo king and queen—complete with a parade and a formalcrowningceremony.Goodstuff.

There are dozens of other hobo meet-ups throughout the year,including the West Coast Hobo Gathering, the East Coast HoboGathering,andalotofothersthatfluctuateandareplannedsemi-spontaneously. Best way to keep up with what’s going on is bystaying in contactwith other hobos andby searching out Internethobo “chatter.” Find someof these andyoumayhave the luckofhookingupwithsomefolksmoreveteranthanyouandyou’llhavethebenefitof receivingagreat introduction to lifeon the roadbyotherswhohavealreadybushwhackedtheway.

DOWNTIME

Anotherboontoyourcurrentlifestyleisthefactthatwhatyouneedprettymuchmatches themoneyyoumake—youdon’tmakea lot,butyoualsodon’tneedalot.Aslongasyouhavesomefood,you’realmostneverinneedofmoneyimmediately.Don’tmakeanymoneyfor several days, or even a few weeks, and your life can stillmaintain an even keel, while back in the land of house andapartment dwellers, your life may start to crumble without cash.Miss a few bills and the calls and letters start coming every day.There are threats, andeventually they turnoff theheat, towyourcar,andwhenyoucan’taffordtopickupyourcar,justthrowmorefinesatyou.Nothanks.

Asahobo,you’llmakemoneytoliveon,liveonittillitrunsout,andthenmakesomemore.It’sstillacycle,butit’snotliketheratrace,whereasfastasyoumakemoneyitgoesoutandthere’sneverany rest in between. You work, you come home, eat, go to bed,wake up, and do it all over again. Perhaps this iswhat youweretryingtogetawayfrom.Butnowyoulivewiththeriseandfalloftheseas.

Bepreparedforalotofdowntime.Timewherethere’snothingtodo but sit around, stare at the ground, throw some rocks around,andmaybetryyourhandatwhittling.Mostofushavebecomesoaccustomedtohavingto tendto themanythingsrequiredtokeep

modern life running smoothly that we’re unprepared for havingnothing to do. Even when we’re not doing things, we’re oftenmentally preoccupied with things that we should be doing, so weend up contemplatingwhat’s supposed to happen nextmore thanfocusing on what’s happening now. But now you are your ownkeeper. It’s different from a vacation in that there is no timeschedule,nodepartureorreturndate(unlessyouleftwithone).Sogiventhatyoucandoprettymuchanythingthatdoesn’tcostalotof money, hoboing presents a great opportunity to discover (orrediscover)whatinterestsyou.

Maybe you have books in mind that you always planned onreading,onceyoufoundthetime.Well,nowcanbethattime.Keepa journal, andkeep trackof the things thathappeneachday,andwhatyou’vebeenthinkingabout.You’llbegladyoudidlater.

Whetheryou’recampingornot,gooutandtakesomelongwalksorhikes.Rememberwhatyou’redoing,which is tryingtosoakupas much as possible with the time you have. Pretty mucheverywhere you stop will have something cool to note. Takeadvantage of being the sole person in charge of your time andexploreyoursurroundings.

Write postcards and letters to family and friends. Just becauseyou’reouthereonlife’sfrontierdoesn’tmeanyouneedtocutoffallcommunicationwithyourlovedones.Letthemknowwhat’sgoingon. It can be a particularly good time to reconnect with peopleyou’ve been out of touchwith for a long time.What else do youhave to do? There’s always counting leaves, but why not do

somethingforsomeoneelse?

Pick a topic and learn about it. There’s probably—or not justprobably, but certainly—something that you’ve always wanted toknowmoreabout.Teachyourself.Ifyoudon’thaveInternetaccess,nexttimeyou’renearaplacethatdoesdownloadlecturesavailableonline on topics you find interesting. Take them back into thewoodswithyouand listen to themwhileyouhikearound,or justwhileyou’resittingaroundcamp.

If you’re one of those people who gets all worked up whenreadingthepaperandbytheendofanarticlearethinking,“Man,someoneneeds towritea letter,”do it.Write letters to theeditor.It’s great. You can vent—although long rants have about zerochance of getting printed—and you’ll feel like you’ve made yourpoint.Andwhoknows,youcouldhavelettersofyourswindingupinapaperortwo.

Get involved with others living a similar lifestyle to your own.Champion the hobo cause. Find the newsgroups online, introduceyourself,andstartmakingconnections.Shareyourtravelstoriesandthoughts, the places you’ve been and where you’re going. Beforelong you may find you’ve become a real part of the community.Makethecommunitystronger.

Besidesworkingtomakemoneyforyourself, findplaceslookingfortemporaryvolunteersandhelpoutforadayortwo,andmaybelonger.Youmaydiscoveracauseyoureallycareaboutandbecomepart of that community. You might even find your calling and acommunity of people you never expected to find, through which

youmightsuddenlyfeelgroundedandconnected.Andwhoknows,you may even stay and start putting down roots. Being a hobodoesn’tmean you’ve taken some oath that treats starting a life inoneplaceascauseforexcommunication.Otherconsiderations:

*Manybigcities,andsomesmall,haveadayeachweekwherethemuseumsarefree.

*Ifit’ssummertime,lookforeventsbeingheldintheareawhereyou’re staying. There are almost always free festivals, music,plays,andotherartyorsportyeventsheldinparks.

* Find a café not too far from where you are with couches,Internet,andpeople.Hangoutandmeetsome.

 Remember: Life on the road brings with it some challenges, and finding andsocializingwithotherstreadingthesamepathcaneasethetransition.Figureoutsomeofthegroundrulesandyou’llbewellonyourway.Oneofthosechallengesistostaycleanandhealthy.Goodhygienewillcarrytheday—aswellastheonesthatfollow.

DidYouKnowRobertMitchumHoboed?

ActorRobertMitchumwasbornin1917.Hisfatherworkedfortherailroadandwaskilledinarailyardaccident in1919.Hehimselftooktotherailsatanearlyage,touringthecountryandworkinganumber of jobs including as a ditch digger, and at fourteen wasarrestedforvagrancyinSavannah,Georgia,andsentencedtoworkonachaingang.Accordingtohim,hewasabletoescapethroughtheswamps,andmadeitbackhome.

Mitchum and his brother, Jack (what is it with hobos and thename“Jack”?),madeatripwestthatisdescribedinabiographyonMitchumbyLeeServer;itcouldhavebeenamovieinandofitself.In 1933, the familywas facing hard times andMitchum’smotherheard that in California one could find salvation. Robert and hisbrotherdecidedtoheadoutfirst,andtheirmompackedthemeachabindle.Theyleft,tellinghertheywouldbebackforher.

While one would expect hitchhiking to generally be safer thanhoppingafreighttrain,oneoftheridestheyreceivedinvolvedalotofmoonshine,andwhentheyeventuallystoppedforthenighttheywereawokenbyagunfightbetweentheir“hosts”andanothergroupof men. Afterward, they figured the trains might not be too badafterall,andtheyhoppedonetoNewOrleans,andspentthenightin a jungle. Here, they learned of a train heading west in themorning,andsotheretheywent.

Robert hopped on first, but before Jack could follow he foundhimselfheldatgunpointbyarailroadbull.Withthetrainmoving,MitchumstartedyellingforJacktojumponthetrain,thatthebullwasn’tgoingtoshoot.AsServerputsit,Jack“balked,lookedatthe.38staringathim,anddecided that the railroadcopknewa littlemore aboutwhetherhewouldorwouldn’t shoot thandidbrotherBob.”AsthetraincarriedMitchumwest,hisbrotherwasledoffbythebull.MitchumarrivedinLosAngelesridingonaboxcar,withnopossessionsotherthanwhathecarriedinhisbindle.

CHAPTER7GettingOutofaJamWAIT,WHAT?I’M

ARRESTED?ANDOTHERSTICKYSITUATIONS

“InAmerica camping is considered a healthy sport for Boy Scoutsbutacrimeformaturemenwhohavemadeittheirvocation.”

-JACKKEROUAC,“TheVanishingAmericanHobo”

Livingyour lifeaccording toyourowndealandnot feelingunderthe thumb of society’s incredible weight might leave you feelinglight and, despite the bug bites and a few scrapes, maybe evenslightlyuntouchable.Floatinghereandthereandtakingtheexpresstrainoutoftownwhenthingsstartfeelinglessthanstellar,it’seasyto start feeling thatyou’llneveragainhave todealwith the samepowersthatoncepinchedyourearbetweenthumbandindexfingerandinformedyouthatregardlessofwhatyouthought,“thisishowit’sgonnabe.”

And then,perhapswhenyou leastexpect it, something like thatdoeshappen.Youthinkyou’reaveteranhobowhocantakehimselffromSeattletoBostonwithoutspendinganymoneyorlosingsleepoverwhere thenextbuck isgoing tocome from.Maybeyouhavejust been pontificating to a newbie about the wonders ofindependent train travel,while hiding in a boxcarwaiting to takeoff. Then you hear a crunching sound on the gravel and a lightshinesinyourface.“Hey,comeouttathere!”

A few thingscouldhappenat thispoint.Thebullwith the lightmight tell you to skedaddle yourself right off of Union Pacificproperty with a stern warning that if you’re ever caught on UPpropertyagainyournextmealwillbeafreeonebutservedbehindbarsonametaltray.Ontheotherhand,youmaybegivenaticket.Or youmight get arrested on the spot.Word of caution: If you’rearrested,donotpickafightandtrytoescape.One:You’llprobablylose.Two:Ifyoudolose,whichnumberonesaysyouprobablywill,you could end up taking a beating. Three:What started out as amisdemeanorjustgotalittlemoreserious.

Unlessyou’vedonesomethingmoreseriousthanjustsneakontothetrain,mostlikelyyou’llbesentofforjustgivenaticket—whichmaysoundlikepeanuts,butcanbeinthe$500range.However,ifyou had to partially dismantle a fence to get into the yard, orsomehow managed to make a mess of things and cause aderailment, you could also be charged with damaging railroadpropertyandcancountonarideinthebackofapolicecar.

When you do end up in jail, theoretically you should have an

arraignment within twenty-four hours—and up until that pointyou’lljusthavetogetcomfortable.Atthearraignment,you’llgetachancetopleadguiltyornotguilty,andifyoupleadguiltyyoucangetsentencedtoafineortimerightthenandthere.Ifyoupleadnotguilty,ahearingwillbeset—whichyoucanprettymuchguaranteewon’tbebasedonwhenit’sconvenientforyou—whenyou’llhaveto appear before the judge again. In the best-case scenario, you’llput on a good show and the judge will let you go on your ownrecognizance until your court date. Assuming that happens, nowyouhavesomeoptions.Youcankeeptravelingandmakeitbackforthedate,youcandecidetosetupcampinthesameareaandwaitforthedate,oryoucanheadonoutwiththehopethat it’llnevercatchupwithyou.Thelatterhasahighprobabilityofcomingbacktohauntyoulater,andforthatreasonisnotrecommended.

Eventhoughyoumightbelivingthelifeandfeelingthefreedomandwanttoshareitwitheverybody,resistthetemptationtopullyourhatoffandwavetothepeopleinthecarsstoppedattherailroadcrossingasyouflypast.Hoboscommonlygetticketedorarrestedwhenpeoplewhoseethemridingpastontrainscallitintothepolice.Samegoesforhitchhiking.

Gettingarrestedwhileonornearafreighttrainwithabigpackonyourback,however,doessomethingtoenhancethe impressionthat you’re a flight risk, so the judgemay think if he lets you goyou’llbeonthefirsttrainoutoftown,andhemaydecidetoholdyou. Ifyoucan’tmakebail,you’ll sit in jailuntilyourhearing.Soit’s time to hope your Aunt Ritawho lives four hours south feelsgenerousenoughtocomeandbailyouout.

POSTINGBAIL

IfyouraforementionedAuntRitawon’tmakethedrivetobailyouout,ordoesn’thavethemoney,orshe’soutof town,oryoudon’thaveanAuntRita,you’llneedtomakebailsomeotherway.You’veprobablyheardaboutmakingbailallyourlife.Nowyougettodoit.Bailisalittlelikeransom.Yougivethecourtmoneythatyoucanonlygetbackwhenyou showupatyourhearing.Don’t showup,you loseyourmoney.For this reasonbail isusually set at apriceyoucan’taffordtolose.Bailbondsmengenerallysetupshopwherethey’re needed: across the street from where you are currentlyresiding,andprovidetheircontactinfotothejail.Besttopickoneof those instead of the guy your cellmate recommends, who heswearswillgiveyouagreatdeal.

Pickone, and thenyou’ll have to forkover10 to15percent ofwhateveryourbailwassetat.Youcanpaywithcash,creditcard,somekindofcollateral(likethetitle toacar—you’dhavetohavesaidtitleonyouforthistowork),ortheymayagreetoapaymentplan (not the kind of people youwant to skip payments on). Thebondsmanwillthenpaythecourtyourbailinfull,andwhenyoudoshowupforcourt,he’ll receivethebailback.Andifyoudouseabailbondsman,youdowanttoshowup,because,inadditiontotheobvious reasons, if you don’t, you’ll need to be looking over yourshoulder for the foreseeable future for some grizzly-looking guy

employedasabountyhunter.Bettertoshowup.

YOU’RELOST-ORMAYBEJUSTTURNEDAROUND

Standingatacrossroadsorbytherailroadtracksandnotknowingwhichdirection iswhichcanbemore thana little frustrating;youmighthopaslow-movingtrainandthen,onlyafteritpicksupspeedand there’s no option for getting off for the next ten hours, youdiscoveryou’regoingthewrongway.Ifyou’vebeenincontactwithsomepeoplewhopromisedyoua fewdayswork tenhours in theotherdirection, you canonlyhope they’re the kindof people youcan call and say you’re on a freight train going in the wrongdirectionandyouhavenoideawhenyou’llbethere.

So how do you make sure you don’t remain directionallychallenged?Otherthanaskingthepersonnexttoyou(whomayormaynothaveabetterideathanyou),thereareacoupleofways.

TellingDirectionbytheSunTo get the general gist, remember that the sun rises in the east

and sets in thewest. If it’smorning or evening, this shouldn’t behardtodetermine,andthenyoucanstickyourarmsoutandwithyourlefthandpointedwest,younowknownorthisinfrontofyouandsouthbehindyou.You’llfeelprettyslickwhenyouasksomeoneintownwherethetracksareandhesaysjustkeepwalkingeastandthat’swhatyoudo,insteadofslowlystartingoffinavagueseriesofdirectionsandwatchinghisfaceforcluesastowhetheryou’rehotorcold.

TellingDirectionbyPaperClipandWaterIfyou’reinthewoodswithlittlevisibilitybeyondthetreecanopy,

takeapapercliporyoursewingneedle,rubitrepeatedlyonadrypieceofclothing—ifyouhavesomethingwoolthat’sthebest—andthenplaceitonaleafwhichyou’llputinsomestillwater.Thiscanbeacuporpotwithwaterinit,orasmallstillpoolnearastream.Apuddlewillworkperfectly.Thepaperclipwilleventuallyturntopointnorth.

TellingDirectionbytheNorthStarIf it’s nighttime and the stars are out, locate the North Star. If

you’reunsureofwhichdot in the sky that is, find theBigDipper,imaginea lineextendingout fromthehandleabout five times thehandle’s length. The star you find there is Polaris, theNorth Star.Back in business. (Of course, this isn’t a foolproof method unlessyou’reabletobrushuponyourconstellationsbeforeyoutakeoff.)

TellingDirectionbyThatLittleCompassYou’veHadSinceSecondGradeAssuming it still works after years spent knocking around in

schooldesksandbookbags,holditoutandfollowthearrow.

DEALINGWITHINJURIES

Ifyou’reworkingandstayingintownsorcities,injuringyourselfisnot as dangerous because help—and professional help at that—isnever too farway. If yourproblem isnot life-threatening, inmostcities you canusually find a free clinic (or at least a clinicwherecharges are figured on a sliding scale) that is geared to peoplewithout health insurance. These can be great places to go, forexample, if you cut your hand on some rusty metal and need atetanus shot. Ifyouhavehealth insurance,gowhereveryouknowyou’ll be covered. For something more catastrophic, locate anemergencyroomandworryaboutthebillslater.

WhenYouAreYourOwnFreeClinicIf you’re not in a populated area but instead somewhere out in

deserted landby the railroad tracks or just out in a national parkcamping,youmighthavetofigureouthowtopatchyourselfupbyusingyourowntwohands.Oryouhavetheoptionoftravelingwithsomeone, inwhichcaseyoucanbothputyourheadstogetherandthink,“Whatwouldadoctordo?”

Itcanberoughoutthere,andyou’llhaveplentyofopportunitiesto get injured. There are the obvious ones such aswrestlingwith10,000 pounds of moving train car, to the smaller, and moremundane,scenarios,likewalkingdownthetracksandtwistingyourankleafterlosingyourfootingontherockbeddingorhookingyourthumbonafishhookwhiletryingtobaititforthefirsttime.Theseare common enough, so don’t exacerbate the problem by beingreckless and using your knife to pry things open with the pointfacingyou.Ifyou’reinthemidstofdoingsomethingandyourlittlevoicesayssomethinglike,“Thisisprettystupid,oneslipandthingsare gonna get real ugly,” stop what you’re doing and look foranotherway.

Itwillbeup toyou todeterminehowdangerousan injury is toyour well-being, and you’ll have to use commons sense when itcomestothetreatment.Getafewnicksonyourlegswhilewalkingthroughtheunderbrushandyoucanbeprettysureyou’regoingtolive.Sprainingyouranklemightrequireyoutotakeiteasyforafew

daysbutnotnecessitateanemergencyroomvisit.Jumpingfromatrainandbreakingyourarmbecauseyoulandedfunnyisuptherewith injuries that warrant a trip to the hospital, as is walkingthrough the woods and poking your eye with a tree branch(especiallyifyou’renotintotheideaofhavingaglasseye).

Injuriesarebynomeansagiven,butfortimeswhenyouareoutthereonyourown,orevenwithafriend,anddon’thaveimmediateaccesstomedicalhelp,it’sagoodideatohavesomeroughfirstaidknowledge that can help to at least temporarily keep youmobileuntilyou’reabletogetmoreprofessionalhelp.

HowtoStitchaWound-butNotReplaceanEyeballIf you get a serious gash and it’s clear you’re going to need

stitches, it would be nice—although not altogether an absoluteprerequisite—ifyouhadsomebasicsewingskills,suchastheabilitytoreattachlooseormissingshirtbuttons.Ifyoudon’t,afteryou’vedone this onceor twice, you’ll be sewing shirt buttonson inyoursleep.STITCHINGYOURSELF

1. Washthecut/woundreally,really,wellwithwater.Thelastthingyouwantistosewinsomedirtordebristhatwillfesterinthere,perhapsleadingtogangreneandamputationofthelimbinquestion.

2. Putsomeantiseptic—likeiodine(ormoonshineifyou’reinthatneckofthewoods)—onthecut

3. Sterilizewhateveryouwillbeusingasthread.Youcaneitherboilit(andinthiscaseyoucouldalsoputtheneedleinwithit)oryoucouldsoakitinstrongalcohol

4. Takeyoursmallestsewingneedleandsterilizeiteitherwithyourlighteroroverafire.Don’tjustwaveitovertheflame,butletitgetengulfedforaminuteandahalforso

5. Threadyourneedle,andtobetterthestorywhenyoutellitlater,putastickorpieceofbarkinyourmouth,andclampdown

6. Conventionistoinserttheneedleintoyourskinthesamedistancefromthewoundasthewoundisdeep.Sosticktheneedlein,pushitstraightacrosstotheothersideofthewound,clampdownonthebarkagain,pushitthroughtheskinontheotherside,pullituntiltheskinclosesbutdon’tmakeitsupertightasitneedsalittleleewaytoexpandwithswelling

7. Onceyou’rethrough,snipthethreadandmakeaknot(thisdoesn’tcallforafigure-eightknot—anysimpleknotthatwon’tpullthroughtheholewilldo).Repeattheprocessevery¼inchorso.

After the cut has healed you can snip the stitches down thecenter,andpullthemoutfromeitherside.

POISONIVYANDPOISONOAK

Whileyou’rehidingoutinbushesbytherailroadtrackswaitingforyour trainorhiking through thebrush toget toyourcamp,you’llhave plenty of opportunities to brush up against poison ivy orpoison oak. If you’re allergic and have run into them before, youprobably know the drill. But if you’ve never suffered it or thinkyou’reimmune,justbeawarethatforsomepeopleitcantakemorethana fewexposuresbeforeyoustarthavingnegativereactions intheformofblistersandrashes.Greatstuff.Soregardlessofwhetheryou’reallergicornot,it’sbesttoknowhowtoidentifytheplantssoyoucansteerclear.

PoisonIvyManylearnedtherefrain,“Leavesofthree,letitbe,”aschildren

to recognize poison ivy. The leaves, in groups of three with onelargerleafandtwosmalleronesbelowandoneithersideofit,areoftenshinydueto theoil theysecrete(which iswhatwillcauseareactionwhenitcomesintocontactwithyourskin),andtheleavessomewhatresembleamittenedhand—kindofsmoothononesideoftheleafandtheothersidenotched.

Sinceit’stheoilthatcausestheproblems,youdon’thavetotouchtheplantyourself—ifyourbagorpantsrubagainsttheplanttheoilcan thenbe transferred toyou.Then, rather thanscratchyourself,whichwillonlyaggravatetherash,kickandpunchyourbagforitstraitorousbehavior. The leaves are reddish in the spring, green insummer,andturncolorslikeotherleavesinthefall.

PoisonOakAnothervillainousplantouttherepretendingtobeallinnocuous

andsweetispoisonoak.It’ssimilartopoisonivy,astheybothhavethe three-leaf pattern, but this isn’t a problem really as you don’tneedtotellthemapartsomuchasyoujustneedtostayawayfromthem altogether. Poison oak, like poison ivy, will present itselfdifferentlydependingon the seasonandyour geographic location.Asopposed topoison ivywhich is red in thespring,poisonoak isgreen, thenareddishgreencolorsomewhatsimilar tocoral inthesummer,andthenadarkerredinthefall.

IGotIt,NowWhatDoIDo?Onceyou’vegotit,you’vegotit.Thereisnocureotherthantime,

so all you can do for yourself is to control the symptoms anddiscomfort the best that you can. Any anti-itch cream will help,hydrocortisonebeingoneofthemorepopular.Anotheroptionistomakeapastefromeitheroatmealorbakingsodathatyouplaceontheaffectedareas,whichcanbothoffersomereliefandsomewhatspeedthedrying/healtime.Andwhenallelsefails,somehaveeventakentocoveringthetinyblistersorrashfrompoisonoakwithducttape,whichwillpreventyourbeingabletoscratchatit.

SNAKEBITES

Ifyou’regoingtodieonthisadventure, it’smore likelytohappenfromtryingtohopafreightcar(orevenfromeatingapufferfishataJapaneserestaurant for thatmatter) than frombeingbittenbyasnake.Butsinceitcanhappen,mightaswellbeprepared.

So you’re bit. You stare for a moment in mild shock that youwere,infact,justbittenbyasnakeandnow,fromwhatyou’veseeninthemovies,youneedtotakeabuckknifeandcutanXoverthecut and start sucking and spitting. Bring yourmindbackdown toearth,andaskyourselfthefirstquestion:Wasitpoisonous?Didyouget a good look at the bastard? There are two main types ofpoisonous snakes in North America: the pit vipers (rattlesnakes,watermoccasins,andcopperheads)andcoralsnakes.

If you heard a rattle, that’s a dead giveaway that it was arattlesnake.Theotherpitviperscanberecognizedbytheirwidetriangular-shapedheads.Pitviperbiteswill leaveoneor two fangpunctures,andwillbegintoreallyhurtinaboutfivetotenminutes.Pit viper venom targets vascular tissue and redblood cells, and itmaycausemuscletwitches,chills,andexcessivesweating.

Coral snake bites, on the other hand, sometimes do not leavevisible fang marks. If you are deep in the southeastern orsouthwestern United States and you think the offender may havebeen the craziest looking snakeyou’ve seen inyour life,with red,

yellow,andblackstripes,youjustmighthavebeentherecipientofacoralsnakebite.Theyreleaseaneurotoxinwhichkicks inabouttentofourteenhoursafterbeingbittenandcancauseparalysis.

Coralsnakeshavesomegoodimitatorsouttherewhowantyoutothinkthey’resuperbad and deadly but actually aren’t. One is the king snake, and the other has thefantasticallyinnocuousnameofmilksnake.Getbitbyoneoftheseguysandavoidtheunnecessaryworrybyrememberingthehelpfulmnemonic:redonyellow,killafellow;redonblack,friendofJack.Nosensetryingtopulloffanextremeyogamaneuvertosuckvenomoutofyourbuttwhenthereisn’tanyvenomtosuck.Muchlessaskingafriendtodothehonors.

Nonpoisonous snakes can bite you too, but they will not leavefangmarks.Deathbysnakebite in theUnitedStates isquite rare,but it does occasionally happen, so unless you are sure that thesnakewasnotpoisonous,anysnakebiteshouldbe takenseriouslyandtreatedimmediately.Ifyouarebitten,sitdown,awayfromthesnake,andtrytostaycalm.Keeptheinjuredparttothesamelevelorbelowtheleveloftheheart.Thisavoidsthefastexpansionofthevenom. Remove any restrictive clothing from the area, and alljewelry, and wrap the area tightly with a splint and bandage,similar to thewayyouwouldwrap a sprain.Then, as calmly andquickly as you can, get yourself to an ER. Youmay want to callahead towarn themthatyouhavebeenbittenbyasnakeso theycanmakesureandhavetheantivenomonhandwhenyougetthere.

Ifyou’re in theSouthwestyoumaycomeacrosssomeGilamonsters,whichnotonlylook pretty dreadful, but can pack a solid poisonous punch for which there is noantidote available. The good news? Don’t believe the hype. They are some of the

slowestbeastswestoftheMississippi,andyoupracticallyhavetopinaGilamonsterto

thegroundandstickyourfingerdownitsthroattogetittobiteyou.

STOMACHBUGS

If you get a stomach bug, make sure you keep yourself hydratedwith clear liquids (not soda) taken frequently in small amounts. Ifyou’ve got the runs multiple times a day, you’re losing a lot ofwater,anddehydrationisaconstantrisk.Ifyou’regoingtobestuckwithout a bathroom for long periods of the day, taking somemedication to stopyourselfup isprobablyagood idea.But ifyouwillhaveaccess,don’ttakeanythingandletitrunitscourse.You’llgetoveritfaster.

Ifyoucomedownwithafever,takeitasasignalfromyourbodythat you need to stop and take care of yourself. Boring but true:drink a lot of fluids. To keep the fever down you can takeacetaminophenoribuprofen,andonceyourtemperaturestaysdownwithoutanymeds,you’rereadytostartrollingagain.

BLISTERS

You’ll beonyour feet a lot, andas such, you’ll have todealwithblisters. It’s easy to pass off blisters aswimpy injuries and no bigdeal,butblisterscancause fatal infections ifnot treatedcarefully.How do you deal with them? First take your knife—or a sewingneedleifyouhavealittlekit—andsterilizeitoverafireorwithalighter.Thenuseyourknife/needletopoptheblisteratitsbottom(notthetop),soitwilldrain.Don’tpulltheskinoffandleavethewoundopen,butratherleaveitonforprotection.Trytokeepyourfeetdryandchangeyoursocksfrequentlyuntilitishealed.

FROSTBITE

If you’re going to be exposed to cold weather you need to avoidfrostbite.Itcanhappenonanypartofthebody,butit’sparticularlycommon on your fingers and toes.What makes frostbite tricky isthatitcanstarttohappenwithoutyourknowingit,sincethemainsymptoms—numbnessandpalecolor—arewhatyouexpect to feelwhenyou’reoutinthecold.

Whatdoyoudoifyougetit?Starttryingtowarmupyourfrozenbodyparts(that’swhattheyare)tobringthembackuptonormaltemperature. You can do this either by holding it between yourhands—unless it’s ononeof yourhands, inwhich casea friend isnecessary—or by putting it near a source of warm air or byimmersing it inwarmwater.Don’t rubor try tomovearoundanytoes or fingers that are frozen until they’ve thawed. Once they’vewarmedup,youcanexpectyourskintoblisterandpeel.Let itdoits thing and avoid messing with it, but make sure to keep yoursockscleananddry.Keepaneyeonituntilit’scompletelyhealed.

CUTS

Oneofthefunthingsaboutcompletelychangingyourlifeandusingacompletelynewsetoftoolstosurviveisdiscoveringallnewsortsofwaystoinjureyourself,andcountlesswaystocutyourself.Forafairly minor cut, clean it first, and then look for some yarrow(single-stemmedat aroundkneeheight, you’ll knowyarrowby itsflatclusteroftinywhiteflowers).Itgrowseverywhere,andisprettyamazing in its clotting ability—just press the flowers onto the cutforamoment.Noyarrow?Useas cleana clothasyou’vegotandapplypressure.Forthemoreseverecutsputpressureonthewoundtoslowthebleeding,andelevatethepartofyourbodythatyoucut.If it’s really bad andyou can’t stop the bleeding throughpressureand elevation, fashion yourself a tourniquet above the injury, ineffect isolating it from the restofyourbody. It’sprobably time togetyourselftotheERatthispoint.

SPRAINS

It’s fantastically easy to sprain your ankle orwrist. It can happenanytime,hoppingoffatrain,walkingoverrocks,climbingdowntoariver,whathaveyou.WraptheoffendingjointinanACEbandage(noACEbandage? If youhave somegauze, you canuse that in apinch)andgiveitarest.Ifyouhavetheoptiontoiceit—whichyouprobablywon’t—youcando that initially, andafter thatheatwillhelp.Ifyouhavenochoicebuttouseit,trytobraceitandtrudgeforth.

Ifyou’vedonemorethanjustsprainyourankleandhaveactuallybustedabone, thingsarea littlemore involved.Particularly if thebreak is in a leg or foot, you can’t just sitwhere you are until ithealshopingthebirdsdropfoodinyourmouth,andmovingaroundonit isgonnahurtlikehell.You’llhavetomakeasplint.Youcanmake this from any stiff material you can find, including a treebranch.Tieittothebrokenbitwithclothingorrope.Whateveryouuseasabrace,itneedstospaneithersideofthebreakoryou’renothelpingyourself.Besupereasywithit.

BURNS

If you burn yourself, don’t put ice directly on the burned area(whichwon’tbeaproblemifyoudon’thaveanyice).Instead,ifyoucan,keepitcoolbyrunningwateroveritfortentofifteenminutesorbysubmergingitinwaterthat’saroundandpopsomepainpills.If it’snotabadburnwhereyourskin isblistering,yourbodywillpretty much take care of it. Afterward, cover the area with abandageuntilithashealed.KEEPINMIND

* In case of a broken bone that pierces the skin (open orcompound fracture), you must apply pressure in order tocontrol bleeding, but avoid pushing on any bone that isprotrudingthroughtheskin.* Don’t ever try to straighten a broken, open-fractured limb;replacebonefragments;orreturnthelimbtoanaturalposition.*Don’t touchor try to clean thewound; just fasten a sterile orclean cloth securely in place over the wound and keep it inplacewithbandagesorclothstrips.*Thesplintmustextendbeyondtheinjuredareatokeepthelimbfrommoving.Trytocoverthejointbelowandthejointabovethe injurywith the splint.Donot over-tighten,which can cutoffcirculation.*Continuetochecktheareafrequentlyforswelling,paleness,or

numbness,andloosenthesplintifneeded.

SUNBURNANDTHEHEAT

Ifyougetaverybad sunburn,youcanmakea soothingointmentoutofoakorhickorybarkboiled inwater.Applythisointment tothe burned area and cover it until it has healed, making sure toavoidfurthersunexposure.

Ifyou’reworkingoutsideintheheat,wateriscritical,butyoucandoyourselfone favormore.That salt ringyourclothesgetafterahard-core workout is due to salt that was in your body and nowisn’t.Keepyousalt levelsup.Whenyouhave toworkhard in thegruelingheat,maintainyourhealthbykeepinganadequatewaterandsaltintake.Theruleofthumbisaquarterteaspoonofsaltperquart of water. Drink enough to stay well hydrated—at least twoquartsonamildday,andmoreasyousweatmore.THINGSTOAVOID(AKAYOURENEMIES)

*Lice.Gettingridofthemwastheinspirationforthehoboterm,to“boilup.”* Chiggers. You won’t see them, but during the spring andsummer they’ll be hanging around in the grasses and weeds,waitingforsomeonejustlikeyou.Sameasticks,longpantscanserveasadeterrent.*Scorpions.Despitetheirdeadlylook,you’llprobablybeokayifstung. It’ll hurt, burn, and swell a bit. If you start getting

blurredvision,headtothedoctor.*Leeches.Slimy,nasty,vile,butessentiallyharmless.*Parasiticworms.PurifyyourwaterandbepickyifyouvisittheD-Mart.*Deerticks.Lymediseasecanputaserioushalttoyourprogress.*Rabidraccoons,foxes,bats,orotters.Youcangenerallyassumethese animals won’t bother you; when you see them actingoddlybrazen,rabiesmaybeinvolved,sokeepyourdistance.*Brownreclusespider.Haveyouhaveeverseenpicturesofwhattheselittlesuckerscando?* Black widow spider. Most bites are defensive when youinadvertentlycomeintocontactwiththem,andunfortunately,theydon’tallharborthetelltalehourglassonthebelly.* Copperhead snake. Kinda like the scorpion, their attacks arepainfulbutgenerallynotdeadly.*Rattlesnakes.Theymaynothaveears,butcontrary to theoft-toldtale,they’renotdeaf.*Watermoccasins. Quite common on the coastal plains, a bitefromthemcancausegangrene.Asyoumightexpect,you’llfindtheminwater.*Grizzlybears.Toobigtoescapebyclimbingtrees,grizzliesuseadifferentmethodtoprotectthemselves.Theyattack.* Cougars. Territorial beasts, human attacks are pretty rare buttherealwaysseemstobethestoryaboutthatonehiker...Alligators.You’ll find these throughout theSoutheast,andwhilethey tend to be shy, they can alsomove at 30mph in shortbursts.

 Remember:Livingyourlifeonsociety’sfringecanopenyouuptoallsortsofnicks,scrapes,andtraps,fromgettingpickedupfortrespassingonrailroadpropertytosittingdownonabrown recluse spiderwhilebeddingdown inabarn.Alwaysbeawareofyoursurroundings,beresourceful,andkeepyourwitsaboutyou.

DidYouKnowJackKerouacHoboed?

JackKerouac,bornin1922andoneoftheforefathersoftheBeatgeneration,traveledbyfreightandlovedit.Andwroteaboutit.HewritesinTheDharmaBums,“Theonlyalternativetosleepingout,hoppingfreights,anddoingwhatIwanted,Isawinavisionwouldbetojustsitwithahundredotherpatientsinfrontofanicetelevisionsetinamadhouse, wherewe could be ‘supervised.’” Perhapsmore than others, his writingsmay be responsible for many a wide-eyed twenty-year-old heading out on the roadwith dreams of freedom and enlightenment, only to end up cursing his namewhilescroungingforvittlesatthebottomofadumpster.

Andhedidmakeitsoundgood.Instarkcontrasttotheimageofasimplehobojustlooking tousehishands for a fewhours in exchange for ameal,Kerouac tended totravel to and frowith stars in his eyes, plenty of booze in the belly, and dreams ofstartingaculturalrevolutionbasedonfreeloveandBuddhism.ComingbackintotheUnitedStatesfromMexico,Kerouachitchedarideneartheborderwithatruckerfromthe Midwest named Beaudry, and they proceeded (after a quick detour back intoMexico for a night of drinking) to travel to Tucson.When it came time for dinner,Beaudrycomplainedabouttruckstopfood,soKerouacsuggestedthatifhe—Beaudry—boughtthesteaks,Kerouacwouldtreathimtoatruehobofeastbythesideoftheroad.Whichhedid,startingafireandcookingthesteaksascarsandtrucksflewpast,andafterward cleaning out the pan with sand. Back in the truck Beaudry asked him,“Where’dyoulearntodoallthesefunnythings?”

Kerouacbroughtoutthepoetryoffreelivingwhiletravelingacrossthecountry,andhisbooksarefilledwithbothpoignantandadventurousmoments.Whileotherhoboshadtotoilaway,ruiningtheirbodiesforpennies,Kerouacspentasummerontopofamountainasafirelook-outandcamedownreadytospreadtheword.

Butperhapstheapproachtolifeheespousedissummedupbestwhen,duringoneofmanyalcohol-fueledget-togethers,oneofhiscompanions,thepoetGarySnyder,eagerlyinterpretedWaltWhitman’sline,“Cheerup slaves, andhorrify foreigndespots.”This,Kerouac said, is simply another

wayofsayingthatsomeonewiththeirvisionsees“aworldfullofrucksackwanderers,DharmaBums refusing to subscribe to thegeneraldemand they consumeproductionandthereforehavetoworkfortheprivilegeofconsuming...imprisonedinasystemofwork,produce,consume,work,produce,consume.IseeagreatrucksackrevolutionthousandsorevenmillionsofyoungAmericanswanderingaroundwithrucksacks.”Sobeit.

CONCLUSIONRememberingWhereYou’veBeen

“Lateronheencounteredyetanothersortofmen,thosefromwhoseranks the tramps were recruited, men who were homeless andwandering,butstillseekingwork-seekingitintheharvestfields.Ofthese therewas an army, the huge surplus labor army of society;calledintobeingunderthesternsystemofnature,todothecasualworkoftheworld,thetaskswhichweretransientandirregular,andyetwhichhadtobedone.”

-UPTONSINCLAIRINTHEJUNGLE(1906)

By the time you pick yourself up off the floor of the last boxcarcoming back into town and drop yourself to the ground, dustyourselfoffwithyourhat,andknockthestonesoutofyourshoes,youwill have become a veritable continental explorer. You are apersonwhocanhopa freight trainorhitcharideandwith justabag on your back and a quarter in your pocket you can tour thecountry living life on your own terms. The only caveat: here andthereyoumayhave to spendanight (or two) inaditchandmayoccasionallypickupamisdemeanorfortrespassing.

You will have proven to yourself and to others that you can,despiteallindicationstothecontrary,stillliveanindependentandfreelifewithoutsuckingonaculturalairbagandfeedingthemeter

in return.Youwillhave setyourself free,and, for lackofabetterdescription, weaned yourself from society’s tit. Not something forthefaintofheart.

Intheprocess,youwillhavedevelopedskillsandabilitiesmanyhaveconsideredlostarts(andwashingdisheswithoutadishwasherisjustthetipoftheicebergwhenitcomestothat).Whentravelingacrossthecountryformostentails“seeing”thecountryviatwoorthree interstates at themost and having sampled the fast food attwenty-fourdifferenttravelplazas,youwillhavetraveledandseenthe country in ways most never will, and by the look in yourparents’eyeswhenyouinitiallytellthemyourplans,inwaysmostnever plan to. In an age in which litigation has come close torequiring you to wear a safety belt when riding the escalator atMacy’s,youwillhaveessentiallyriddenitwhiledoingahandstandwithalollipopinyourmouth(bearinmindthatthiswaspurelyametaphor, and inactuality, isprobablyevenmoredangerous thanhoppingamoving freight car inbroaddaylight—sodon’t try it toproveapoint).

Thiscouldbeoneofthegreatestperiodsinyourlife.Itcouldalsobe one of the hardest, such that you live the rest of your daysconsolingyourself, inthefaceofanyhardship,thatatleastit isn’tas bad as the time you had to eat roast possum because you lostyourpackandtheonlythingsyoustillhadwereyourSwissArmyknifeandalighter.Youmaybeoneofthosewhogoesontohobountilyou’reoldandgray,oryoumaytaketherideaslongasitsuitsyouandthenheadbacktoajobandfamily.Alternatively,youmay

become an intermittent hobo—hooking up with old buddies andtakingtotherailsforafewweeksoramontheachyear.Assaidinthe beginning, there are no rules and regulations as to how youshould approach any of this. The whole idea is to shed someconstraintsandseewhatcomesofit.

Youwillmeetcharacters.Someofthemyouwillbecomefriendswithandrelishthechancetomeetagain.Othersyouwilldoyourvery best to forget, considering yourself lucky that they chose thewrong fish sandwich at the last dumpster you shared and had tobowoutof thenextday’s journey.You’ll trytoremindyourself towriteapostcardtotheguyinWichitawhostoppedandgaveyouaridetothenextexiteventhoughitwasfortyminutesoutofhiswayand you could tell by his quiet smile he was putting your lastshoweraboutaweekprior,atbest.You’llwanttotattooasignonthebackofyourhandtellingyoutonever,ever,shareaboxcarwithaguywhoasksyouwhatyoursignisbeforeaskingyourname.

There’s one suggestion you’ve probably heard all your life butnever done it, so this time do it:Write it down.While you’re outthere, it’s easy to see and feel things thatmake you think, “Iwillnever forget this.”But thenyouwill.Maybenot immediately,andmaybe not in six months, but over the course of a few years,experiencesthatatthemomentseemedascrispandtangibleastherailroad spike you held in your hand and used to “spike” theboxcar’s door will slowly fade and change. One day you’ll try torecallit,butitwillbesuchablurrymessthatyouwon’trememberwhether it happened to youor if itwas just a story someone else

toldyou,andyou’llvaguelyremembersomethinghavingtodowitha railroad spike. Don’t let it happen. Write it down. Keep atravelogue.Useit.Makeapointofsettingasidesometimeeachdaytomakeafewnotesthatcanlaterserveasmentalsignpoststhatcanguide you back to themoment and push the fog away. You’ll bekickingyourselfintheheadten,fifteen,ortwentyyearslaterwhenyou’re sitting around a table trading stories with friends and youexcitedlystarttorelayataleandthenhavetosay,“Wait,damn...Ican’t rememberwhathesaid.”Andthatwasprobably thepunchline.Remembertoputitdown.

Don’t get sucked into writing everything in extreme detail oryou’ll burn yourself out within a few days and never go back todoing it because it was such a pain in the ass.Make it easy, notobsessive.Justenoughsoyou’llbeabletojogyourmemorylater,atwhich point you can flesh it out and bring it to life—rather thanwhen you’re trying to write by firelight and the mosquitoes arewhininginyourear.

But it will servemore than just you and yourmemories if youkeepsomesortofjournalasyougo.Itwillalsohelpyouhelpothersdown the road. You may not ever head in a particular directionagain, but otherswill, andwhenyoubump into them, either in ajungleoratagreasyspoonorsittingacrossfromtheminagondola,andtheyaskwheretocatchoutinSanFranciscoandifyouhadafavorite flop house in the Tenderloin, you might just have theanswer—ifyourememberedtowriteitdown.

And should you continue your own rambling lifestyle, your

travelogue can serve you as well. Filled with points of interest,places to stay, people to look up who helped you out, potentialfriends, places towork, places to get the best blueberry pancakeswestoreastoftheMississippi,placestocatchoutfrom,placesnottocatchout from,andtheplaceyougotarrestedand laterhadtowalk six miles to link back up with the railroad outside of “thatguy’s” jurisdiction,you’ll relyonthiswrittenhistorytobringyourhoboexperiencebacktolifeinaninstant.

Furthermore, things that seemed incredibly mundane to you atthetimeandthatyoujusttookforgrantedcanblowsomeoneelse’smindifthey’veneverheardorseensuchathingbefore.Don’twastethisopportunity.Writeitdown.You’llbegladyoudid.

APPENDIXATipsfortheModern-DayHobo

Whiletheideaoftakingyourlifeontheroadmayseemlikeexactlythe thing you want to do, hopping a freight train might seemludicrousandnotevenclosetowhatyouhaveinmind.Rather,youbelieveinthespiritofwhatthoseoriginalhobosstoodfor,butjustasyouhavenointentionofgoingoutbackandswingingachickenbyitsneckbecausethat’showthey“usedtodoit,”youalsohavenointentionofputtingondarkclothessoyoucansneakaroundatrainyard at night without having a confrontation with the bulls thatcould lead either to jail or just a little unpleasant shoving aroundalongwithaticket.

You will be a modern-day version of that nineteenth-centuryhobo, traveling the country andmaking enoughmoney to live onwhilehavingno fixed address. For you, this couldbe a six-monthexperiment afterwhich you’ll go back to your “normal” life, or itcouldbea lifelongendeavor. Insteadofhoppingfreight trainsand

working labor jobs that require you to continue to be physicallyableandthateventuallyleadyoutotheassessmentthatyou’rejusttoooldtobedoingthisanymore,youmighthavetheoptiontolivethis way indefinitely. If the only thing you need to maintain anincomeisaworkinglaptopwithanInternetconnection,theworldisreadyforyou.Youdon’tevenreallyneedaphoneanymore.

Whenlookingforplacestostayforthenight,youcanstillcamp,butyou’llneedtobemorecarefulwithyourgear.Ifyoucanaffordit, a number of companies make ruggedized laptops, often withlabelshavingsomeclaimtobeingmilitaryready.Onemightassumethat if theycanhandlecruisingoveroff-roadterraininaHumvee,theymay be able to handlemuch of what you’re going to put itthrough,althoughyouwouldprobablystillwanttoavoidleavingitinapuddleordroppingitonarock.

SETTINGUPWIRELESS

There are many ways to keep an Internet connection whiletraveling. Cafés offering free wireless Internet can be found inalmostanytown,andiftheonesyou’reneardon’t,oryou’renotina town, you canuse your cell phone as awirelessmodem. If youhavea smartphoneandyouhave reception, you’re alreadyon theInternet.TheInternetmaybethebiggestadvantageyouhaveoverthehobosofold(comfortablecarsandbusesnotwithstanding).Youcanhaveavirtualpresenceanywhereintheworldwhileconnected,andsocansetupjobsandreceivemoneywithouthavingtomove.

DifferentWaystoAchieveanInternetConnection

1. Useasmartphone.2. Usealaptopusingyourcellphoneasamodem.3. FindfreeWiFihotspotsinpublicplaces.4. Ifyou’retravelinginanRVandplantoparkforextendedperiods,purchasesatelliteInternet.

BILLSANDPAYPAL

Setupbillpay.Ifyouhavecreditcardsandacellphone,havethesebillsdirectlypaidfromyouraccounteachmonthwithouthavingtoremember, find a stamp, or even be awake. If you happen to besomewhere “out there” and your phone gets shut off, itmight besometimebeforeyou’reabletogettoaplacewhereyoucanhaveitturnedbackon.

Ifyoudon’thaveonealready,getaPayPalaccount.Thisisoneofthe easiest ways to send and receive money. People can pay youwith PayPal and the money will be deposited directly into yourbank account, and if you have an accountwith one of the largerbanksandanATM,thatcantranslateintoactualcashfairlyquickly.

SENDANDRECEIVEACTUALMAIL

Asarchaicas itmayseem, thereare timeswhenyoumayneed toreceive actual, physical mail. How do you do this when you’realwaysonthemoveandhavenophysicaladdresssomeonecansendsomething to? One easy way is to pull out themap and locate asmalltownorcityyou’llbepassingthroughinaweek’stime.Findthenumberforthepostofficeandcallandtellthemwhenyou’llbecomingthrough,andseeiftheywillacceptmailaddressedtoyou.Small towns are better, as their post office is usually moreaccommodating than those of big cities, which have a few morethings to concern themselveswith besides caring for a letter fromsometransientpassingthrough.Andthat’sifyoucanevengetthemonthephonetobeginwith.

One thing to be slightlywary ofwhen sendingmail is that youhavenoreturnaddress,andif,foranyreason,themailturnsouttobeundeliverable,itwillendupinthebottomofabinsomewhere,nevertobeheardfromagain.

SOMEWAYSTOMAKEMONEYONLINE

BlogTrytokeeparunningjournalofyourtravelsandpostittoyour

blog.Doesn’tmatterifnoonereadsitatfirst,butifyoucankeepitinteresting, and even post some videos, youmay eventually get afollowing.Howdoes thishelp?Peoplewill start to takenote, andyoumay be able to start making somemoney by hosting ads onyourblog.

Thoughnotimmediate,keepingarunninglogofyourtravelsalsoputsyouinagoodplacetoeventuallyputoutabook.Allthemorereason to takepicturesalong thewayandwriteadaily journal tokeepthingsfreshinyourmind.Whatmayseemuninterestingnowmay seem incredibly interesting to someone else. Don’t censoryourself.

HowtoSetUpaBlog

Youdon’tneedtobeabletocodehtmloruseDreamweavertostartablog,orneedanymoney.Thereareseveralsitesyoucanfindbyasimplesearchthatwillhostyourblog.Youjusthavetocomeupwithanameandthenfillintheblankswithwhateveritisyouwanttowrite.Supereasy.

Oneway youmay be able to spontaneously become a breakoutstar is to travelwithavideocameraandpostyourvideos. Itmayseem ridiculous at first, but you’re going to come across somerandomandwildthingsoverthecourseofyourjourneys,andifyouhappentocatchaparticularlyridiculousmomentoncamera,postit

andwhoknows?Itmightturnviralandthenexttimeyougoonline

you’ll discover your video has had a million hits and people arescramblingtogetaholdofyou.Wouldn’tbankonit,butwouldn’tbetoobadifithappened,either.

WriteShortArticleforSitesTheyusuallypayapittance, but if you canwrite500wordson

how to paint a room or change a bike chain, you can pump anumberoftheseoutandgetcashtokeepyougoing.

GetRichQuickSchemesIf you start looking on the Internet for businesses you can run

online, you’ll run into a bazillion promising wealth beyond whatyou’ve ever dreamed, and all from the comfort of wherever youhappentobe.Infact,somewillpromisethatyoudon’thavetodoanything and you’ll be earning money. Do yourself a favor andforgetaboutit.They’realldesignedtosuckyouofyourlastdollarswithlittlechanceyou’llevermakeanymoneyyourself.It’sprobablybetter to keep visiting the D-Mart than try your hand at any ofthese.

APPENDIXBTheHoboCookbook

Hobosgotta eat, youknow.Here are someessential tips to eatingsanskitchen—andsansmoney,forthatmatter.

COFFEE

For some there’s no getting up in themorningwithout coffee, sowe’llstarthere.Don’tletthefactthatyou’reasimplehobowithoutaprogrammableauto-dripcoffeemakerstandinyourway.BringontheCowboyCoffee. Take coarse-ground coffee andput it in a potwithwater.Bringittoaboil,thenletitsitlongenoughthatallthegrounds sink to the bottom. Talk about easy. For an even moreauthentic experience, strain the coffee through a clean sock toremoveallthegrittygrains.Thiscanhavetheeffectofturningthestomach of any guest youmight have, but a quick demonstrationthatthesockiscleanandnotoneyoujusthikedalldayinshouldsetthemstraight.

PINENEEDLETEA

Ifcoffeeisn’tyourthing,butyouwantsomethingtowarmyouupandgetyougoingonthosechillymornings,trybrewingupapotofPineNeedleTea.Sinceevergreensneverlosetheirneedles,themainingredientisavailableallyearlong.Andbesidesgettingyougoingin themorning, this teawill also help boost your immune systemandfightoffcolds.

PINENEEDLETEA

Severalclustersofpineneedles

1quartboilingwater

Lemonjuicefrom1lemon

Maplesyruptotaste

1. Usingscissors,snipneedlesintosmallpieces.2. Pourboilingwateroverneedles.Addlemonjuice.3. Coverandletsteep5minutes.4. Sweetentotasteandenjoy.

BANNOCKBREAD

This recipewas brought over to the United States by Scottish furtradersintheearly1800s.Itcanbepan-friedorbakedonastick,asdescribedbelow. Its recipe is super flexible;basically consistingofflour, baking soda, water, and some oil, plus whatever else youhappentohavetothrowin.

BASICBANNOCKBREAD

1cupflour

1teaspoonbakingpowder

¼teaspoonsalt

1½tablespoonsoil

About½cupcoldwater(orenoughtomakethedoughthoroughlywet,butnotsowetthatitissticky)

Mixalloftheaboveinsomethingotherthanthepaninwhichyoumeantocookit(ifyouonlyhaveonebowlorpan, considermaking it on a stick described below). Itshould be a thick, pasty consistency. Below are somedirections,butkeepinmindthisisonemealwhereyoucanreallywingit.

BANNOCK-IN-A-PAN

1. Putthepanontheheatandtossinagenerousamountofwhateveroilyou’vegotonhand.

2. Tomakeone“loaf,”spreadthedoughoutinthepanevenly;itshouldbeanywherefrom¼to½inchthick.

3. Cookaway.Thinkofitasagiantpancakethatyoudon’thavetoflip.

4. Consideritdonewhenit’sfirmontop.

BANNOCK-ON-A-STICK

1. Gettherightstickforthejob.Lookforagreenstick(oranystickthatwon’tquicklyturnintofirewood)approximately1–2inchesthickandlongenoughtocomfortablyholdoverthefire.

2. You’llneedtoremovethebarktoexposeasmoothsurfacetowrapthebreadaroundwhilecookingit.

3. Preheatthefarendofthestickabovethefireuntilitishot,thenwrapthebannockdoughabout½inchthickaroundthestick.

4. Holdthebannockabovethefire,turningitasitcooks,andtryingnottocharanyofthesides.Theperfectheightforcookingthebannockiswhereyoucanholdyourhandabovethefireforabout10–15seconds.

BAKEDPOTATOES

Thesearesupereasy.Justplunktheminthecoalsandwaitahalfhouror so till theyare soft.Makesure topokea fewholes in theskin to allow steam to escape, or you could end up surprisingyourselfwithanexplodinghotpotato.

CORNONTHECOB

Also simple. Ideally, youwould soak the corn inwater for a halfhour to an hour to keep them from burning, but depending onconditions thismayormaynot bepossible. If youdon’t have thewater available, just keep an eye on’em. Place the whole ear(unhusked) on the coals. Thehuskswill keep themoisture in andtheashoutasthecornsteamsaway.Dependingontheheatofyourfire, this could take anywhere from ten minutes to an hour, andmakesureyouturnhereandthere.Goodideatocheckonitaftertenminutes or so just to seewhat’s going on.Donewhen tender.Didn’tcomeoutsogreatthefirsttime?You’reinluck.Whatelsedoyouhavetodootherthanpractice?Tryanotherone.

NETTLESOUP

Nettles are some of the most nutritious vegetables on the planet,andyouprobablyneverwouldhaveguesseditgrowingup,asyouwerealwaysbeingwarned toavoid them.Sureenough,becarefulnottotouchthemwithyourbarehandsbeforecookingthem.Theonlyrequiredingredientsforthesouparethenettles,thewater,andsalttotaste.Everythingelseisoptional.Withwhateveryouhaveonhand,thiscouldturnintoamulligan,easy.

NETTLESOUP

Around1poundnettles.Givethemaquickwashandchop/tearthemup.

About1quartofwater

Somesalt

1onionchoppedandfriedinabitofoiluntilit’ssoft(optional)

Afewclovesofgarlic,justpeelthemandcrushthemwiththeflatsideofyourknife(optional)

1–2potatoes,chopped(optional)

1carrot,chopped(optional)

Somericeorothergrain(optional)

Boilthisbusinessuntileverythingistender.

DANDELIONSALAD

Really,thisisactuallyquitegood.Makeadressingoutofalimeorlemonsqueezedoverthegreenswithalittleoilandgarlic.Change-upthesaladhoweveryouwant.Addsomedriedfruit,nuts,leftoverquinoa, some seedsyou stole froma squirrel, anythingat all.Youdon’tevenhavetousedandelionsiftherearenonearound;youcansubstituteanyediblegreensyouhaveonhand (justdon’t call it adandelionsalad).

BECAUTIOUSWHENFORAGING

Ifyou’reinterestedinforagingwhileyoutravel,youshouldfindoutwhichwildplantsarepoisonous,andwhichonesmightbeconfusedwithanedibleplantisimportant.Itisrecommendedthatyoulearnthepoisonousones first and then feel free to experimentwith theonesthatyouknowareedible.

Whengatheringwildgreens, therearea fewplants tobeawareof.Buttercupshideamongsttheleavesofchickweedanddandelionand are sometimes picked with them. Members of this familycontain glycosides that have caused irritations among livestock.Spurges are also common in gardens and lawns. They produce amilkysapthatcanalsobeirritating.Pokeweedleaves,wheneatenraw, will make you throw up, even though they are edible whencooked.Milkweed isanotherplant that is ediblewhencookedbuttoxicraw.

HOWTOCOOKFISH

Mostfishyouwillcatchwillbethesizethatisbestcookedwhole.Anythingovertenpoundscanbefilletedorboned,butsmallerfisharenotworththetrouble.Fishisquiteversatileandcanbegrilled,fried,boiled,baked, steamed,orpoached. If youwant tobe extrafancy,youcannailitopenonaplank,whichyouthenpropupnextto the fire tocookbyreflectedheat for ten to twentyminutes.Nomatterwhichmethodof cookingyouchoose,you shouldcook thefishuntilthefleshisopaqueandflaky,butnotsolongthatitgetsdry.Garnishes thatalmostalwaysmake fresh fish tasteoutof thisworldarelemonand/orbutter.Garlic,herbs,andonionneverhurteither.Usewhatyouhavetomakeyourdinnerspecial.

COOKINGYOURFOOD

Howyoucook largelydependsonyour sourceofheat.Hereareafewcommonmethods.

CookingoveraFirePitIfyoumadeafirepitasdescribedearlier,youmightbelookingat

thismagnificentsurvival featyoupulledoffandthenwonderhowyou’reevergoingtocookoverit.Onewayistojustsetapotonthecoal.Youcanalsowrapyourfoodintinfoil,andthenlayitontheedgeofthefire.Oryoucanmakeasuspensionsystemforhangingyour food over the fire. Find a Y-shaped stick, or somethingapproaching that. Drive it into the ground near the fire. Takeanother stick and with one end supported in the nook of the Y-shapedstick,puttheotherendonthegroundbesidethefire.Hangyourpot.

CookingwithaHoboStoveAnother useful cookingmethod that uses very little fuel and is

easytomanageisthehobostove.Wonderwhocameupwiththat?Thereareanynumberofwaystomakeoneofthese,andifyou’regonna be in one place for a while, it will save your fuel foremergencies.Ifyou’reacarpenterandhavesometoolspacked,youshouldbeallsetforthis.Ifnot,youcanmakedowithaLeathermanorothermultipurposetool.

Whatyouwillneedisalargeemptyfoodcanorcoffeecan,andifyouhaveasmallsoup-sizedcanyoucanusethatasapot.Turnthecanupsidedownsotheopenendisfacingtheground.Now,cutarectangularopeninginthebottom(actuallynowthetop)ofthecan,makingsomethingakintoaminigaragedoor.Thisiswhereyou’llinsert the tinder. Next cut another hole near the top (which isactually now the bottom of the can) to serve as a flue to let thesmoke escape. The bottom of the can is your cooking surface, onwhichyoucanplaceasoupcanorwhathaveyou.Thisstoveworksgreateveninquiteexposedandwindyconditions.

Analternativeversionofthehobostoveistousealargercan;anunusedpaintcanisperfect.Cut thebottomoff, insert at least two small rods through the can (anythingyoucanfindthatwon’tburn),andthenyoucanlowerasmallpotdownfromthetopofthecanandletitsitontherods,abovetheheat.

QUICKTECHNIQUEOnceyougetyourfiregoingandyou’vegotsomegoodcoals,you

needtoprepareitforcooking.First,spreadthecoalsoutinagradeso that there isaregionwith lotsofheatandanotherregionwithlessheat.Thiswillgiveyousomecontroloverthecookingspeedasneeded.

If you’reusing a grill, youneed toprop it about four to twelveinches above the coals. A goodway to find the right height is toholdyourhandabovethecoals.Therightheightforthegrillisfourinches below the spot where you can hold your hand still for nomorethanasecondortwo.

Ifyou’retire-trampingit(i.e.,haveyourownvehicle)andcamping,acastironDutchovenmaybeyourbest friendwhen it comes todinnertime.Themostuseful styleofDutchovenforcampfirecookinghasaconcavelidwitharimarounditsedge,allowingyoutoputalayerofhotcoalsabovetheinterior.IfyoucanfindaDutchovenwithalid that doubles as a skillet, all the better. TheDutch oven serves as a souppot, anoven,andafryingpanallinone,andifyoutakecaretomaintainitsseasoning(neverwashitwithsoap),itsnonsticksurfacewillmakeyourlifequiteeasy.

Whenitcomestoactualcooking,therearesomemethodsyoucantryotherthanjustusingpots.Itjustsohappensthereissuchathingasa“hobomeal,”otherwiseknownascookingyourdinnerinafoilpacket.As youmight expect,whenyou’re trying to travel light, arolloftinfoilisawholelotlighterthanapan.

Heavy-dutyfoilworkswaybetterthanregular,thinfoil,sinceitwon’tsnagortearonthe coals as easily. And if you don’t have any foil at all, you can gamble a bit bysubstitutingsomedampnewspaperorpapernapkins;it’snotsoidealbutcanworkinapinch—whichiswhatyou’llbelearningalotofonyourtravels:makingthingsworkinapinch.

Therearetwomainapproachestothehobomeal,flatandtented.Each is a bit better suited for certain kinds of food; flat for foodsyou’retryingtoroast,andtentedforfoodsyou’remoreinterestedinsteaming like thatbroccoli someonegaveyou in thegrocery storeparking lot when she saw your pack and face and figured youdeservedahand.SETTINGUPYOURHOBOMEAL

Forbothtypesofpackets,themethodofwrappingissimple.First,tearoffapieceofheavy-duty foil that ismore than twice thelengthofthefoodyouarepreparing.Youshouldoverestimatehere,asunderestimatingcouldleaveyouwithanashydinner.Fold the foilends togetherover the foodandthenfold theedgeover itself a few times, making an airtight seal. If you aremakingtheflatpacket,youshouldfoldthefoildownuntilitisveryclosetothetopsurfaceofthefoodandthenflattenitbypressing lightly. Ifyouareaiming for the tentedpacket, leavesomeairspaceabovethefoodNowfoldintheends.Makesureyoucanfoldeachendinatleasttwice,inordertomakeanairtightsealagainThen, holding the packet by the ends, place it in the coals andwaituntilyouthinkthefoodisdone,andthenseeifitis.

For steaming packet meals, you’ll get a softer heat when youcombine the foil and newspaper methods. First, make your foilpacketasdescribedabove,thenwrapthepacketinwetnewspaperand then another layer of foil. This will keep your food fromcharringattheedgeswhereit’sclosesttothecoals.Whenyouopenyour foil or newspaper packet, be careful of the steam trappedinside—don’topenitnearyourface.

Themainconsiderationwhencookingpacketmealsisthecookingtimeofthecontents.Itisimportantthatalltheingredientsthatyoutossintothepacketwillcookinapproximatelythesameamountoftime. The cooking time for a food depends on its density. Forinstance,carrotsandpotatoestake longertocookthanonionsandcelery. Meat falls somewhere in between. That doesn’t mean thatyoucan’tputcarrots,potatoes,onions,celery,andsteakinapackettogether, it just means that you have to cut the chunks that youinclude such that theywill cook in the right span of time. Largerchunks take longer tocook thansmallerchunks.So,you’d includesmallslicesofcarrotsandpotatoes,alargerthicknessofsteak,andevenlargerchunksofonionandcelery.Thismaysoundconfusing,butjustgowithyourgutandyou’llgetthehangofitinnotime.

APPENDIXCEssentialMacGyverSkills

Dependingonwhetheryoustayinurbanareasorgointothewild,you’llneedtohavesomeskillsatyourside.

KNOTS

IfyouskippedthewholeBoyScoutsthingasakidandhaven’tspentmuch time in themerchantmarines, tyinggoodknotsmaynotbeamongyourstrongersuits.Butalotofthingscangowrongforthelackofagoodknot,soitbehoovesyoutoknowafew.Youmightbethinking you can tie your shoes, and that’s as good a knot as anyandit’llserveyouineverysituation.It isagoodknot,butnotforeverysituation.Wheremightyouneedsomeknots?WHEREKNOTSGO

*Hangingadryinglineforsomelaundrybetweensometreesorjustonsomeone’sbackporch.*Hangingyourbearbagatthecampsite.*Tyingextraitemstoyourpack.* Tying your pack and a few other things to the roof of a carbecauseyoujustgotaridefromsomeonewithatwo-seaterandtheysay,“You’rewelcometoarideifitcanfit.”* You lose some of your tent stakes and have to tie your tentdown.* Tying pieces of firewood together tomake it easier to schlepbacktocamp.

A lotof things cangowrong for lackofagoodknot.Thebasicdealaboutknowingagoodknotisknowingwhichonetoapplyina

specificsituation.Makingaknotisnotallthatdifficult,mostofushave, at somepoint inour lives,wrappedand twistedand tuckedrope around this way and that way until it seemed to hold wellenough.Buttherearetwoproblemswiththis.One,youruseofropeis not going to be that efficient, and since you’re probably neversure when enough is enough you’ll either just use more or youactuallywon’tuseenoughandwhateveritwasthatyoumeanttotiewon’t stay tied very long. The second problem lies in untying it.After it’s strainedundera load, itmayhavebeenpulled too tight,and undoing it is no longer possible. With this method there’susuallyonlyonesolution,whichistocutit.Andafteradozenorsosuchknotsalongyourjourney,whatstartedoutasasinglefifty-footpieceof ropewill eventually turn into adozen shorterpieces thatmay notwork forwhat you need andwill just be a pain to keeptrackof.Aknotisgoodifitholdswhereit’ssupposedtoholdandcaneasilybeundoneregardlessoftheloadit’sholdingorwhethertheropehasbecomewet.

Simplesolution?Learnafewgoodones.Andpracticebeforeyouneed one. Knowing the steps in your head can be pretty differentfromactually standing therewithsomerope inyourhandwhileastormbrewsandyouneedtotieyourtentdown.Ifyoudon’thaveanyropeyet,youcanpracticewithanything.Ashoelacewilldo.SOMEKNOTTERMSTOKNOW

*Standingend:Thisistheendoftheropethat’snotinvolvedintheknot.Ifyouweretowraparopearoundyourfriend’swaistandthenslowlylowerhimoveracliff(notrecommended),the

endoftheropeyouhaveinyourhandisthestandingend.*Bight:Anycurvedsectionbetweenthetwoendsoftherope.*Loop:Wherearopeiscrossedoveritselftoform,well,aloop,thisisaloop.*Bitterend:Theusuallyrathershortendofropethatistiedoff.Thisistheinspirationforthesaying,“hangingontothebitterend.”It’snotagoodthing.*Workingend:Thisistheendoftheropeyou’reusingtomaketheknot.

BowlineOneof themostpopularknots,often referred toas the“kingof

knots.” It normally does not slip and can be untied wet or evenwhentensionhasbeenapplied.Greatfortyingalengthofropetoatree.The little storyused to teach the tyingof itgoes: “the rabbitcomesoutofthehole,goesaroundthetree,andgoesbackintothehole.”HOWTOTIEABOWLINE

1.Makeacrossingturn.

2.Bringtheworkingendbackupthroughtheloop.Andthenbringitunderthestandingpartoftherope

3.Andnowbringitbackdownthroughthesmallloop

3.Andnowbringitbackdownthroughthesmallloop

4.Pullittight

SheetBendThisistheknottousewhenyouhavetwolengthsofropeofthe

same diameter, and neither is long enough by itself. Use it tocombinethem,thewayaprisonertiesawholebunchofbedsheetstogetherinalinetoescapefromatower.HOWTOTIEASHEETBEND

1.MakealoopinropeA,withtheworkingpartoverthestandingpart.ThenbringtheworkingendofropeBupthroughtheloopinropeA.

2.NowbringB’sworkingendunderA’sstandingpart

3.FinallybringB’sworkingenddownthroughtheloopinropeAandpulltight.

4.Tomakewhat’ssometimescalleda“stopperknot,”whereyoudon’twantthebitterendtopullthrough,makeafigure-eightknot.

Figure-EightKnotThe Figure-Eight Knot is frequently used as a basis for other

knots.It’seasytountieandisnotdamagingtoropefibers.BecausetheFigure-EightKnothasadistinctive“figureeight”look,it’seasytochecktomakesureit’stiedcorrectly.HOWTOMAKEAFIGURE-EIGHTKNOT

1.Makealoopoverthestandingpart.Thenbringtheworkingendunderthestandingpart.

2.Nowbringitoverthefirstloopyoumade

3.Andbringitdownthroughtheloopandtighten.Atthispointyoucanseewheretheknotgotitsname

CloveHitchThishitchtiesquickly,butshouldnotbeconsideredapermanent

connection or be used for safety or heavy loads. It could proveusefulwhenyouarecollectingfirewood.HOWTOTIEACLOVEHITCH

1.Passtherunningendaroundtheobject,crossoverthestandingpart,andthenpasstherunningendaroundtheobjectagain;thentuckitunderthecrossing.

3.Tightentheknotaroundtheobject

HOWTOWATERPROOFYOURMATCHES

Everyone’slighterdiesatsomepoint,andalmostwithoutexceptionyou only realize it’s dead when you’re trying to use it. Anotherscenarioiswhereyoumightbediggingaroundtofindyourlightertomakeafireandyoudropitinthesnow;withitswetflintit’llbeoutofcommissionforawhile.Andyoudon’tevenhavetodropit.Pulloutyour lighter in therainanda fewrandomdropscanruinyourdinner,orwhateverelseitwasyouwerehopingtosetonfire.Forthesetimes,withtheexceptionofsomeflintandsteel,nothingbeats a waterproof match. You can find a number of differentbrandsadvertisingthemselvesas“waterproof”or“windproof.”

Trueenough,thesewillcostyoualittleextra,someofthemarebetter than others, and if the only place in town is a nickel-and-dimeshopwithlong-fadedmannequinsandproductsthattimehasforgotten in the theircloudydisplaycases,chancesare they’renotgoingtobecarryingthelatestandgreatestinwaterproofmatches.Butyouprobablywillbeabletofindsomebasichouseholditemsinthere,andturpentineandcandles,eveniftheywereputontheshelfthirty years ago, will still do the trick you’re looking for. You’reabout to make your own waterproof matches. There are severalwaystodothis.

TurpentineTurpentine is probably the easiest method of waterproofing

matches.Fillasmalldish—ashotglass isperfect—withturpentine(youdon’tneedmuch,justenoughthatyoucansubmergetheheadofamatchplusaneighthofaninchorsoofthestick).Thenputinyour matchsticks and let them sit for five minutes. When they’redone,takethemoutandletthemdryoutonapieceofcardboardornewspaper.Aftertwentyminutesyou’regoodtogo.Thecoolthingabout using turpentine rather thanwax is that youwon’t have tospendanytimetryingtoscrapethewaxoffthematchhead,whichif it’s raining can lead to the unfortunate result that by the timeyou’vescrapedthewaxoff,theheadhasgottensoaked.

Can’tfindanywheretostrikematches?Youshouldhaveacontainerwithalidwhereyoukeepyourmatches.Glueasmallpieceof finesandpaper to theundersideof thelid.Kerpow.Instantstrike.

CandleWaxLight a candle, andmelt enoughwax that you can, aswith the

turpentine,submergethematchheadandabitofthestickaswell.Oncecoated,pulloutthematch,letitsemi-harden,andwhileitisstillmalleablepinchthewaxaroundthematchheadtoformaneatandtightseal.THREETHINGSABOUTTHISMETHOD

*Ifyouhavealargecandlethatmakesforanicepondofmeltedwax,that’sgreat.* Blowout the candle before submerging thematch or you runtheriskofignitingyourmatcheswellbeforeshowtime.*Whenthetimecomestolightoneofthese,you’llneedtoscrapeoff thewaxwith your fingernail until you’ve exposed enoughsurfaceareaonthematchheadtostrikeandlight.

NailPolishYoucaneitherdip thematches into thebottleofnailpolish,or

usethebrush.Eitherway,coatthematchandsomeofthestickandletitdry.Youcanhangthemovertheedgeofthecounter,table,oranything thatkeeps thematchhead fullyexposed.After it’sdried,applyanothercoatandletitdry.Done.

SEWING

Since you’re not changing pants everyday but wearing the sameonesoverandover,andover,they’regoingtogetalotofwearandtear,whetherit’sfromcatchingyourclothesonachain-linkfenceasyoucrawlthroughasmallopeningorjusttheinevitableholeinthearmpit, you don’t want to be coming apart at the seams a fewmonthsintoyourtripsothatwhenyoustrollintotownpeoplestartwonderingifyou’reahermitwho’scomedownfromthemountainafterseveralyearsjusttoseeiftheworldwasstillthere.

Tocombatthis—andtheneedtocomeupwithsuddenpocketsofcashfornewclotheseverytimeyouexperienceabreakdown—everyhobo should know how to mend their own clothes. Most peopleprobablywouldn’tconsidersewingmuchofaMacGyverskill,butifyoudon’tcurrentlyhaveanysewingskills,youmight—particularlywhen you save yourself a trip to the ER by employing them forstitchingupyourownwounds(orsomeothertrustingsoul’s).CONTENTSOFABASICSEWINGKIT

*Thickthread.*Somethinnerthread.* A few needles (when you only have one and drop it into theunderbrush,well, there’sareasonforthesaying,“likelookingforaneedleinahaystack”).Plus,thinnerneedlesareeasierto

getthroughmostmaterial,butifthematerialisreallytough—likeleather—athickerneedlewillhelp.Alwayscarryafew.*Keepathimbleinthere;you’llfallinlovewithitifyouhavetopushaneedlethroughtoughmaterial.*Smallpairofscissors(thoughyoumightalreadyhaveapaironyourmultiuseknife).

SeamRipsSeam rips are tears where the thread holding two sections of

fabric together has ripped, rather than the fabric itself. These aresome of the easiest problems to fix, since all you’re doing is justreplacing—or reinforcing—the thread. These kinds of fixes don’taltertheshapeofwhateveritisyou’refixing.Whenfacedwithsucha predicament you could just have at it and thread a needlewithsomethread,tieaknot,andthendoawholelotofbackandforthfromsidetoside,tieanotherknot,andthensnipit.Or,foramorelastingandsturdyrepairtrythefollowing.LONG-LASTINGSEWINGREPAIR,THE“BACKSTITCH”

1. Threadaneedlewithalengthofthethinnerthreadthatisatleast4timesaslongastherip,or1½feet,whicheverislonger.

2. Tietheendsofftogetherinaknot,asclosetotheendsofthethreadaspossible,leavingadouble-thicknessofthreadattachedtotheneedle

3. Holdtheseamtogetherand,startingbehindthefabric,pullthethreadtowardyouthroughboththicknessesoffabricuntiltheknotcatches

4. Youshouldstartthesewingabout1inchabovewheretheseamactuallycomesapart.Makesuretopullthethreadtightwitheachstitch,toavoidtangles

5. About¼inchfromwherethethreadiscomingthroughthe

fabric,puttheneedlebackthroughthefabric,thistimedrawingthethreadawayfromyou

6. Tomakethenextstitch,backtracktothemiddleofthestitchthatyoujustmade,andbringtheneedletowardyouthroughboththicknessesoffabric.Again,takethisstitchbackthroughthefabricinabout¼inch.Repeattheprocess.Youshouldbegettingagoodideaatthispointofthepatternyou’remaking

7. Continuethisuntilyou’reabout1inchpastwheretheseamhadbroken,thenputtheneedlebackthroughthefabric,slidetheneedleunderthelaststitchthatyoumade,makeadoubleknot,andsnipthethread.Bang.Younailedit.Goodasnew.

ButtonFallsOffThisproblemisjustaboutaseasyastheseammending.Youwill

needabouttwelvetoeighteeninchesofyourthickthread,threadedthrough theeyeof theneedleandknotted togetherat theendsasdescribedintheseambitabove.Bringthethreadupinitiallywhereyouwantthebuttontogo(theoriginalplacementofthebuttonisusually pretty easy to determine if you look hard enough), frombehind the fabric. Pull till the knot catches. Make a few smallstitches in the fabric to secure the end, then put the needle upthrough the fabric againwhere the buttonwill go and thread theneedle through one of the holes in the button. Bring the threaddownagainthroughtheoppositeholeinthebuttonandbackdownthrough the fabric,making a stitch across the button. Repeat thisstitch once or twice, thenmove to the other two holes,making afew stitches forming an X across the center of the button. Youshouldleavea littlebitofslackinthestitchessothatthebutton’sfinalplacementisn’ttightagainstitsbackingfabricbutinsteadabitloose,allowingeasymanipulation.

FabricRipTherearetwooptionsforthisfix.Youcaneithertreattheriplike

anewseamandsewitupfrombehindlikeyouwouldaseamrip,oryoucantreatitlikeahole,inwhichcaseyou’dpatchitasdescribedbelow.Yourcall.Eitherway,theremedywillusuallybenoticeable,so if it’s a work shirt, no biggie; if it’s your dress shirt youwereplanningtowearouttotheclub,well—justhopeit’sdark.

HoleHolesneedtobepatchedwithnewfabric.Youshouldtakecareto

foldtheedgesofthepatchunderasyougosothattheloosethreadsdo not escape and look ratty. You can use a zigzag stitch or awhipstitchtoattachthepatchtothefabric.

Youcanalsofindiron-onpatchesatalotofstores.Whilethey’renot as strong as a patch you’ve sewn on, you can make them asstrong by throwing in some stitching around the edges. Granted,evenifyoudidtossanironintoyourpackbeforeyouleft,it’sgoingtorequireelectricitytogethot.Mightnotbesoeasytocomebyinaboxcar.

ZipperGetsOffTrackTheremaybenothingmoreannoyingthangoingtozipupyour

jacket and the zipper gets off track (though having the sameproblem with a zip-up sleeping bag might come in at a closesecond).Thefeasibilityoffixingthezipperdependsontheproblem.If some of the teeth are missing, this is gonna be a little likereplacingtheengineinthecarthatyounolongerhave,sointhatrespect itwillbeeasier.But itwill involvecarefully removing theentirezipperandreplacingit.Soifit’syourfly,wearalongshirtorkeepyourjacketclosedwhileyoushoparoundforanewone.

Ifnoneof the teetharemissing,but the zipperhas justbecomemisaligned,thisyoucanfixoutinthefield.You’regoingtoremovethelittlemetalbumperattheclosedendofthezipper,realigntheteeth,andthencreateanewbumper;minorsurgery.THEZIPPERREUNITED

1. Theremovalofthemetalbumperwillnotbeeasy,sobepreparedtostrugglewithit,andifyouhaven’talready,congratulateyourselfonbringingamultiusetoolthathasasmallpairofpliersincluded.Whatisthemetalbumper?It’sthelittlemetalpieceatthebottomofthezipperthatdoesn’tlookliketheotherteethandkeepsthezipperfromfallingoffwhenyouunzipit.

2. Withthebumperremoved,slowlyzipthezipperclosed,making

surethatalltheteethfittogether.Don’tforceit.Ifitcloses,moveontothenextstep.Ifnot,bangitwitharockinretaliationuntilit’sunrecognizableandthencommendyourselfforatleasttrying

3. Ifthezipperdoesclosenicely,upanddown,it’stimetosewonanewbumper.“Butwait!”yousay,“Youdidn’tmentionIneededanewbumper!”Youdon’t.You’regoingtomimiconewithyourthickthread,sewinganywherefromfivetotenstitcheswherethebumperhadbeenandthenfinallytyingoffthethreadonthebacksideofthefabric.Ifyourzipperfallsoffyourthread“bumper,”thenyoudidn’tmakeitbigenough.

Note

Resources

WEBSITESWITHHOBOINFORMATION/STORIES/ARTICLES

Fred’sWebsite—www.northbankfred.comAreallygreatresourceforfreight-hoppingstoriesandarticles.Also,check out its companion site: Black Butte Center for RailroadCulture—www.bbcrc.org

AdventuringbyWesModes—www.thespoon.com/trainhop/

Morearticles and tales about adventuring,with a good sectiononfreighthopping

WEBSITESFORTRAVELING

CouchSurfing—www.couchsurfing.orgGood place to find a couch to crash on for the night Digihitch—www.digihitch.comGreathitchhikingwebsitewithinfoandforums,aswellaspeoplelooking for and offering rides GlobalFreeloaders—www.globalfreeloaders.comSimilarsitetoCouchSurfingHitchwiki—www.hitchwiki.orgAnothergoodsiteforhitchhikingandotherwaysofgettingaroundonthecheapSquatthePlanet—http://squattheplanet.com/Good traveling forum site Adventure Cycling Association—www.adventurecycling.org

Ifyou’replanningtogetaroundbybike,thisisagoodplacetostartWarmshowers—www.warmshowers.comSitespecificallyforcycliststofindandofferplacestostayforthenightWEBSITESFORFINDINGWORK

Craigslist—www.craigslist.orgCraigslist,themodernday’stonic

World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF)—www.wwoof.orgThe name pretty much says it all. Great resource, great peopleRESOURCESFORLIVINGOFFWHATOTHERSDON’TWANT

Freegan.info—http://freegan.info/media-center/freeganism-in-practice/Ahubofinformationforrecyclingotherpeople’sstuffandmakingityourown—fromfoodtoclothesFreecycle—www.freecycle.orgAplacewhereyoucanpostwhatyouneedandfindpeoplewhoaregiving stuff away. Yep, you guessed it; it’s all free GOOD BOOKSABOUT/BYHOBOS

Black,Jack.YouCan’tWinArealgrittyandcaptivatingautobiographybyJackBlack.AtourofanAmericaduring theearly1900s thatpeopledon’t talkabout infinecompany.

Cotton,EddyJoe.HoboA really entertainingandno-holds-barred lookat life as amodernhobo by Eddy Joe Cotton, who left home at nineteen. Duffy,

Littlejohn.Hopping Freight Trains in America Considered for a longtimethedefinitivebookontrainhopping.

Kerouac,Jack.OntheRoadAnAmericanclassicandcross-countryadventure.Kerouac,Jack.TheDharmaBumsComingout just afterOn theRoad,TheDharmaBums is not just agreattaleoftrains,travel,andexperience,butputsyourightinsidethe heart of the Beat movement, a real inside glimpse into theculturalstartofwhatwouldbecomethesixties.

London,Jack.TheRoadCollectionofstoriesfromLondon’sdaystravelinginthelate1800s.Greatinsightintowhatitmeanttobeahobowhenthelifestylewasstillcomingofage.

Williams, Cliff (Oats). One More Train to Ride: The UndergroundWorldofModernAmericanHobosAcollectionofstories,music,andpoemsdrawnfromhisinterviewsoffourteenhobos.Good,andafastread.

Index

Agriculturaljobs,103–5

Alligators,158

“AmericanNomads,”60

Amtrak,50,51,63

Anderson,Nels,130

Angelina,100

AnimalFarm,110

Animalstoavoid,78,157–58

Aptitudetest,xi–xvii,15

Arrests,142–44.SeealsoLegalissuesArticles,online,206

Articles,writing,171

ATMs,106–7,169

Autoracks, 55–56. See also Cars Backpack, 27–44. See also BindleBail,posting,144.SeealsoLegalissuesBakedpotatoes,177

Bankaccounts,106–7,169

Barnacle,106

BasicBannockBread,175–76

Beachcomber,103

Bearbag,78–79

Bears,78,158

BeatGeneration,15,159

Bedroll,creating,40–41

Beds,finding,71–94,206

Berra,Yogi,113

Berries,edible,84–86

Bikes,61–62

Bills,paying,169

Bindle

fitof,27,29

gearfor,30–36

originsof,2

packingtips,30–44

styleof,27–28

weightof,27,29

“Bindlestiff,”127

Blackwidowspider,158

Blair,EricAllan,110

Blisters,153–54

Blogging,170–71

“Bo,”127

“Boilup,”74

Boneorchard,127

Bonepolisher,127

Bones,broken,155,156

Books,resources,207–8

Bowlineknot,188–89

Boxcars,53–54.SeealsoCarsBread,making,175–76

Brokenbones,155,156

Brownreclusespider,157

Bugs,38,76,89,157–58

Bulletinboards,98

“Bullets,”127

Bulls, 31, 66–67, 142. See also Legal issues Burlington NorthernSantaFe(BNSF),48–49,67

Burns,156

Bus,63

Busstations,74

Cabooses,56–57

Californiablanket,42

“Callingin,”128–29

CalloftheWild,93

Campingstove,26,32,35

Camps,6–7,26,75–77,128–32

Candlewax,195

Carcarriers,55–56.SeealsoCarsCarpooling,64

Cars.SeealsoTrain-hoppinggettingon,57–58

scenicrideson,58–59

typesof,53–57

Cash,Johnny,45

Cellphone,169

Chalk-drawnsymbols,9,117–26

“C,H,andD,”127

Chaney,JohnGriffith,93

Chiggers,157

TheCitizenoftheWorld,95

Clothes

layering,41–43

packing,30–31

sewing,196–200

washing,117

Clovehitchknot,192–93

CodeofEthics,8–10

Coffee,making,174

Coldmonths,39–43,101–2

Communalliving,73,128–32

Compasses,146

Conventions,7–8,132–33

Cookbook,173–84

Cookingarea,77–78,181–82

Cookingtips,174–84

Cookware,washing,90–91

Copperheadsnakes,151,158

Coralsnakes,151–52

CornontheCob,177

CouchSurfing.org,72

CouchSwap,72

Cougars,158

“Coverwiththemoon,”127

Craigslist,64,97

CSX,48–49,67

Cuts,154–55

Dandelionsalad,179

Dangerousanimals,78–79,157–58

Daylaborsites,99

Deerticks,157

Dehydration,153,157

Dempsey,Jack,6,53,69–70

Dempsey,WilliamHarrison,69

TheDharmaBums,xix,159,160

Digihitch,64

Direction,telling,145–46

“Doggin’it,”63

Dogs,36

Dollar-stretching,107–9

Double-stack cars, 55. See also CarsDown and Out in London andParis,110

Downtimeactivities,134–36

Dumpsterdiving,86–87

Dutchoven,182.SeealsoStoveEdibleberries,84–86

Edibleplants,84–86,179

“Elevated,”127

Entrepreneur,102

ErieCrip,3

Essentialskills,185–200

Evolutionofhobo,1–21

Experiences,recording,163–64

Farmingjobs,103–5

Festivals,132–33.SeealsoConventionsFever,153

Figure-eightknot,191–92

Findingbeds,71–94,206

Finding food, 79–89. See also Food Findingwork, 17–18, 95–111,170–72,207.SeealsoJobsFirepit,77–78,181–82

Firstaidkit,32–34

Firstaidknowledge,146–58

Fish,catching,80–83

Fish,cleaning,82–83

Fish,cooking,179–80

Flatcars,57.SeealsoCars“FleeingHobo,”2

“Flip,”52

“Flop,”127

Flu,153

Food

cooking,179–83

finding,79–89

fishingfor,80–83

foil-packetmeals,183–84

foragingfor,84–87,179

huntingfor,87–89

topack,34–36,80

Foraging,84–87,179

“FreddietheFreeloader,”2

FRED(flashingrear-enddevice),56–57

Freighttraincompanies

locationsof,48–49

railyardsfor,50–51

routesof,49–50

schedulesfor,49–50

Freight-trainhopping

cautionsabout,xii,xxii,16,59–61

lawsabout,xxii,18,66–67

scenicrideson,58–59

techniquefor,57–58

tipson,51–52

FreightTrainRidersofAmerica(FTRA),66

Friscocircle,127

Frostbite,154

Fruitpicking,105

Fruittramp,5

Gear

bonusgear,32

essentials,30–33

packs,27–30

packingtips,30–44

seasonalconsiderations,37–43

Gettingby,95–111

Gettinggoing,47–70

Gettinggoingagain,113–39

Gettingoutofjams,141–60

Gettingready,23–46

Gettingsettled,71–94

Gettingstarted,1–21

Gladrags,31,101,117

Goldsmith,Oliver,95

Gondolacars,54.SeealsoCarsGorge,making,81–82

Graincars,54–55.SeealsoCars“Greasingthetracks,”53

GreatDepression,11,13,29

Grills,182.SeealsoStoveGrizzlybears,158

Groundrules,7–10

Gullies,75

Gump,127

Haggard,Merle,45–47

Heatsource,77–78

Heatstroke,116

Hitchhiking,62–63,206

Hitchknot,192–93

Hoboaptitudetest,xi–xvii,15

Hobocode,xix–xxii

HoboCodeofEthics,8–10

HoboConvention,7–8,132–33

Hobocookbook,173–84

Hoboentrepreneur,102

Hoboevolution,1–21

Hobofestivals,132–33.SeealsoConventionsHobohemia,10–11

Hobomeals,183–84

Hoboorigins,3–4

Hoboresources,205–8

Hobostove,181–82

Hobosymbols,9,117–26

TheHobo:TheSociologyoftheHomelessMan,130

HoboTimes,21,58

Hobotips,113–39,167–72

“Hoeboys,”4

Home-basedbusinesses,17

“Homewardbound,”4

Hooch,127

Hoppercars,54–55.SeealsoCarsHoppingtrains

cautionsabout,xii,xxii,16,59–61

lawsabout,xxii,18,66–67

scenicrideson,58–59

techniquefor,57–58

tipson,51–52

“Hotshot,”49

Howe,Kenneth,60

Humpyards,60–61

Hunting,87–89

Huxley,Aldous,1

Hydration,153,157

Hygiene,114–17,137

Illnesses,153

Injuries,146–58

Insects,38,76,89,157–58

Internetconnections,17,168–69

IntotheWild,84

James,Jesse,18

Jams,gettingoutof,141–60

Jobs

inexchangeforbed,73

finding,17,95–111,170–72,207

seasonaljobs,101–6

securing,27,99–101

Journal-keeping,163–64

TheJungle,161

“Junglebuzzard,”127,129

“Jungles,”6–7,26,128–32

KansasCitySouthernRailwayCompany(KCSR),48–49

Kerouac,Jack,xix,24,72,141,159–60

Knots,tying,186–93

Laborsites,99

Languageskills,126–28

Laundry,117

Lean-to,76–77

Leatherman,30,181.SeealsoMultipurposetoolLeeches,157

Legalissues

arrests,142–44

trespassing,xxii,18,66–67,162

vagrancylaws,7,11–12,94,117,138

Lice,157

Lighters,78,194

Lodging,71–94

London,Jack,5,67,93–94

MacGyverskills,185–200

Mailservice,170

“Mainstem,”10–11

Marx,Groucho,71

Matches,striking,195

Matches,waterproofing,194–96

McCandless,Christopher,84

Meals,finding,79–89

Medicalissues,146–58

Michener,James,16,20–21

Migrantworkers,5,11,12,15,45

Minimalist,24–26

Mitchum,Jack,138

Mitchum,Robert,138–39

Modern-dayhobos,xxi,15,27–29,167–72

Money, making, 17–18, 170–72. See also Jobs Money, stretching,107–9

Moniker/monica,127

Mulligan,128

Multipurposetool,24,30,88,181,197,200

Murray,Jim,70

Nailpolish,196

NationalHoboConvention,7–8,132–33

Ness,Eliot,131

NettleSoup,178

Newspapers

forblanket,42

forcooking,183,184

forjobsearches,98

NewYorkTimes,11

NineteenEighty-Four,110

NorfolkSouthern(NS),48–49

NorthBankFred,60

Notes,201–4

“Onthefly,”52

Orwell,George,110–11

Outlaws,18

Pack.SeealsoBindlefitof,27,29

gearfor,30–36

packingtips,30–44

styleof,27–28

weightof,27,29

Packetmeals,183–84

Packingtips,30–44

“Paddingthehoof,”128

Parasites,157

Passengertrains,50–51,61,63,74

PayPalaccount,169

ThePeopleoftheAbyss,93,110

Pests,157–58.SeealsoInsectsPets,36

PhillyPop,3

Physicalchallenges,16

Pickingseason,105

Piggybackcars,55.SeealsoCarsPineNeedleTea,174–75

Pitvipers,151–52

Planningahead,47–70

Plants,edible,84–86,179

Poisonivy,149–51

Poisonoak,149–51

Poisonousplants,84,179

Possumbelly,128

Postingbail,144

Postoffices,170

Potatoes,baking,177

Pots,washing,90–91

Preparingtotravel,23–46

Problemsolving,141–60

Publicrestrooms,74,115

Punk,128

Rabidanimals,157

Railroads.SeealsoTrain-hoppingearlydaysof,4–5

railroadnetworks,48–51

scenicrideson,58–59

traincompanies,48–51

Railyards

finding,50–51

safetyaround,51–52

securityat,49–50

trespassingat,xxii,18,66–67,162

Ranchjobs,105

Rattlesnakes,151,158

Readiness,23–46

“Realworld”considerations,95–111

Recreationalhobos,12,15,50,60,132

Recyclingsources,207

Reefer,128

Rememberingexperiences,161–65

Resources,205–8

Restrooms,115

“Ridingtherods,”53

TheRoad,5,67,93–94

Roadkill,87–89

Roadstake,105

Rockwell,Norman,2

“Rubbertramp,”26

Rules,7–10

Ruralsettings,73–75

Safetyconcerns

hoppingcars,xii,xxii,16

forlonetravelers,64–65

inrailyards,51–52

ontrains,59–61

Scanners,50

Scorpions,157

Scenicroutes,58–59

Seasonalconsiderations,37–43,76,101–3

Seasonaljobs,101–6

Self-maintenancetips,114–17

Server,Lee,138

Sewing,196–200

Sewingkit,196–97

SFGate,60

Sheetbend,190–91

Showering,114–15

Siebken,Sylvia,65

Sinclair,Upton,161

Skelton,Red,2

Skills,17,27,185–200

Skypilot,128

Slackaction,60

Smartphone,169

Smith,Red,6

Snakebites,151–52

Snakes,151–52,158

Snyder,Gary,160

Socialpressures,12–14

TheSociologyoftheHomelessMan,130

Soup,making,178

Spiders,157–58

Sprains,155

SquatthePlanet,64

Stampcollectors,107

“Stemming,”10–11

Sterilizationmethod,148,154

Stitchingwounds,148–49

Stomachbug,153

Stove,26,32,35,181–82

Sunburns,116,156–57

SwissArmyknife,24,30,88.SeealsoMultipurposetoolSymbols,9,117–26

Talk/lingo,126–28

Tea,making,174–75

Tempagencies,98

Tent,26,32,39,186,187

Tickets/arrests,142–44

Ticks,157

Tipsforhobos,113–39,167–72

“Tiretramp,”26,182

Tomatopicking,104,105

TouristUnion#63,7–8

Traincars.SeealsoTrain-hoppinggettingon,57–58

scenicrideson,58–59

typesof,53–57

Traincompanies

locationsof,48–49

railyardsfor,50–51

Traincompanies—continued

routesof,49–50,58–59

schedulesfor,49–50

Train-hopping

cautionsabout,xii,xxii,16,59–61

lawsabout,xxii,18,66–67

scenicrideson,58–59

techniquefor,57–58

tipson,51–52

Trainstations,74

TrampAct,11

“Tramplaws,”11–12.SeealsoLegalissues“Tramps,”4–5,7

Travelgroupsonline,72

Travelinglight,23–46

Travelmethods,61–64

Travelogue,163–64

Trespassing,xxii,18,66–67,162.SeealsoLegal issuesTurpentine,194–95

Tyingknots,186–93

Underground,10–11

Union#63,7–8

UnionPacific(UP),48–49

TheUntouchables,131

Urbansettings,73–74

Vagrancy laws, 7, 11–12, 94, 117, 138. See also Legal issues TheVanishingAmericanHobo,24,141

Warmbedroll,40–41

Warmmonths,37–38,102–3

Warner,CharlesDudley,23

Washingclothes,117

Washingdishes,90–91

Watermoccasins,151,158

Waterproofcovering,40–42,76–77

Waterproofingmatches,194–96

Websites,64,72,97,206–7

WhiteFang,93

Whitman,Walt,160

Wirelessconnections,17,168–69

Work,finding,17–18,95–111,170–72,207.SeealsoJobsTheWorld

IsMyHome,20

Worms,157

Wounds,stitching,148–49

Yeggs,76

Yeltsin,Boris,25

Yuppies,15,132

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

Josh Mack has worked as a painter, a carpenter working andtraveling theNortheast out of anold telephone companyvan thatrefusedtodie,anadvertisingcopywriter,andafreelancewriter.Heis also the author ofKarma101:WhatGoesAroundComesAroundand What You Can Do about It. He’s traveled the United Statesextensively,andspentayeartravelingthroughIndiaandNepalbyfoot, train, bus,motorcycle, and the occasional burro. A native ofIthaca,NewYork,hecurrentlylivesinNewYorkCitywithhiswife,Alyssa,wheretheybothpaytoridethesubway.