The Growing YearsBulletin #4632

4 Years, Months 9-11Communicating love1

Everyone needs to hear and beshown that they are loved. Youcan really improve your child’sfeelings of self-esteem simply byreally listening to him and thenrecognizing his feelings. Allfeelings need to be accepted,though sometimes actions mayneed to be limited. If he isjumping on the couch, you mightsay, “I see you are really excited.But you need to sit on thecouch.” If he has hit someoneout of anger, you might say, “Youfeel angry, but people are not forhitting.”

Actions speak as lovingly aswords. There are many ways youcan show love. Cuddle with yourchild in bed with a good book.Talk quietly before bed. You cangive him hugs and kisses for noreason at all. These are the bestgifts to give to the child you love.Saying, “I love you,” never goesout of style, and the color and fitare always perfect.

Deliver this important message inas many ways as you can think of.Write it in the snow, learn it insign language, write it on a napkinto go in a lunch box, frost it on acookie, or shout it in a crowd.However you choose to tell yourfamily members that you lovethem, do it now and do it often.It’s a great habit to get into!

Short memories2

Have you ever told your 4-year-old an important rule in yourhome, only for her to forget itthe very same day? For instance,you tell her to always wash herhands before meals. She seemsto understand you, and shewashes her hands as you instructbefore lunch. But later that daywhen you call her to dinner, shesits down with dirty hands. Whathappened?

It might seem as if your childwillfully ignored you, or wasn’tpaying attention in the first place.

But she most likely simply forgot.Children this young have poormemories about some things. Shemay not remember instructionsover a very long period of time.Something you tell her one dayshe will likely forget the next day,if not later on that same day.

Your preschooler also can’tremember too many instructionsat once. One or two instructions ata time are all that her developingbrain can remember. More thanone or two, and she will becomeoverwhelmed and confused.

If you tell her to “get ready forbed,” it may seem like one shortrequest. But that is actually a verydetailed request, and is made upof many smaller steps. Gettingready for bed may includechanging into pajamas, brushingteeth, combing hair, picking out abook to read, and getting intobed. She will be unable toremember all these steps, and soyou may find her in bed withunbrushed teeth and no book toread.

The Growing Years

To help her develop her memory,always break these large tasks upinto smaller tasks and do themone or two at a time. Announce“It’s time to get ready for bed.Change into your pajamas.” Askher questions to help her start toremember instructions on herown. Ask, “What do we do afterwe get into our pajamas?” Themore questions you ask, themore you make her brain work,and the better she will get atremembering.3

As time goes on, her memory willgrow and she will start toremember these routineinstructions on her own. Yourpatience is the most importantaspect of this process. As she islearning, she will have manyforgetful moments. Yourunderstanding and willingness torepeat yourself will be the key tohelping her develop her memory.

Ways to help childrenlike themselves6

As your child gets older, she maynot like being told what to do. Shemay not want to go to bed ontime. You must be firm. Explainwhy what you want her to do isimportant. You do it because youlove her and because she feelsbetter with a good night’s sleep.

By making her feel loved, it makesher like herself more. There aremany ways to show your child thatyou love her. You can show lovewith smiles, hugs, or pats on theback. Words can help, too. “Youare very special to me,” or “Thatwas a big help!” are two

examples of words that help yourchild feel loved.

Here are some other ideas tohelp your child like herself:

NRemind your child that, “Youare important to me and tothe world.”

N Say, “You are special.”

N Tell your child, “I like to bewith you.”

NDo not compare your child toothers.

N Say “please” when you askyour child to do something.

N Say “thank you.”

N Tell your child, “You do goodwork.”

NHelp your child try newthings.

NNever call your child “lazy” or“stupid.”

NHelp your child feel neededby asking for her help withprojects like laundry andgrocery shopping.

N Tell your child, “I like you.”

NGive more praise thancriticism.

Encourage yourchild’s creativityExperiences and activities helpchildren think and learn. Parents,grandparents, and caregiversopen the doors of learning forchildren by providing the following.

Variety—Provide a variety ofbrain-building activities on a

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4 Years, Months 9-11

regular basis. Children needsimple, hands-on experiences fortheir brains to develop. Theseexperiences include touching,talking, listening, tasting, smelling,playing, singing, looking, andrunning. For example, limit thetime that 4- and 5-year-olds spendwith television or preprogrammedmechanical toys, and insteadencourage them to explore, draw,build, and be physically active.

Repetition—Children also needrepetition. Give time each day topractice and encourage repetitionof songs, stories, and otherexperiences. Telling the samestories and singing the same songsover and over may feel boring toyou, but it is not boring to children.Have you ever noticed that childrenlike to repeat certain routines? Forexample, your child may prefer acertain bedtime routine each nightor ask you to read a particular bookagain and again.

Language use—Talk, laugh, andsing—children need to hearlanguage. You can help your childlearn language by

N playing rhyming gamestogether;

N reading aloud;

N singing songs;

N speaking directly to your child,and asking questions thatrequire more than just “yes”or “no;” and

N playing music from differenttypes of instruments andcultures.

3

My child loves to play games like cops and robbers, or wargames. Should I keep him from playing these violent games?4

You can never fully stop this type of play. Even if you encourage othertypes of play, when he is at day care or preschool he will be around otherchildren who will play this way. First you must understand why he playsthese types of games. Once you do, then you can help him play in otherways.

Four-year-olds typically are not in control of their own lives. Adultsmake most of the decisions, and older siblings and playmates make upmost of the rules. War play helps him feel more in control of his life.Preschoolers are often exposed to violence in movies and TV shows,with things like toy guns and video games, and even on the news.

Here’s how you can help reduce the violence in your child’s play:

N State the rules, such as, “Use your body and words without hurtingothers, yourself, or property.” Enforce these limits without hurtingothers with your words or actions. Adults are children’s role models.

N Stop hurtful language and actions. Work with your child to decidewhat to do instead next time.

N Take opportunities to talk about how the evil villain might haveotherwise solved his problem. Watch a favorite superhero showtogether or read fairy tales and work with him to create your ownpeaceful endings.

N Help children rotate roles so that everyone can be the “goodperson” and the “bad person” equally.

N Set up safety measures by allowing children to leave the game, call“time out,” or rotate roles whenever they wish.

N Provide props for other types of games, such as firefighting orcapturing wild animals to “doctor up” and make well. Thesealternatives give him power over fearful situations without violence.Also, in this case the “evil” is not a person.

N Limit and monitor TV and movie viewing.

N Limit the amount of time children are allowed for aggressive play.

N Instead of toy water guns, use water bottles with a spray pump fora water fight.

N Give your child power daily by letting him make choices and takeresponsibility. Treat him respectfully and support his feelings as helearns to deal with his power and all the influences that he’sexposed to.

Q& A

Challenge—Provide opportunitiesthat challenge and stretch yourchild’s abilities. Young childrenlearn most when they can playslightly above their current abilitywith the help of an adult. Forexample, you can help your childlearn to hit a ball with a big bat.First, let her hit the ball rolled onthe ground. Then throw the ball inthe air for her to hit. Play gameswith children that help them learnnew skills and provide a littlechallenge for them. You shouldprovide just enough help for yourchild to learn to do it herself. Overtime, your child’s sense of “I cando it” will grow.

Do you feel anenergy crash?You may feel that at the end of abusy day, you suffer an energyshortage. This is true for manyparents of preschoolers! If youstay at home with your child, youprobably look forward to turningchild care responsibilities over toyour partner at the end of theday. When one or both parentsare working, you may feel excitedto see your children, yet feel as ifyou have to work hard at re-energizing for the “second shift”—parenthood and housework.

Energy is at a premium in everybusy parent’s life. Consider yourgoals for each of your energy-consuming activities and seewhether you can include yourchild. If you enjoy running to keepin good shape, choose a safe placeto run and ride and invite yourpreschooler to bike, trike, orstroller along. If housework is

zapping your energy, try teachingyour children how to help.Prioritize what is most important,and work together to accomplishit. When you are finished, sharethe joy of a job well done and playsomething fun together.

When you channel your last dropof energy into reading a bedtimestory, instead of taking time foryourself or watching television, youget a chance to relax with yourchild, and he falls asleep reassuredthat he is important to you.

Beyond “1, 2, 3”7

Adding to a child’s interest andknowledge in mathematics haslittle to do with structuredteaching with flash cards,arithmetic drills, or memorizationtechniques. The best way to helpa child learn is to encouragenatural abilities, not to turn thedining room into a classroom.

Children learn best from hands-on experiences. They can imitatewhat they see adults doing andexpand on the ideas in theirimaginations. Activities don’t haveto be structured for children topractice skills and learn. Casual,everyday activities can have adramatic impact on your child’sinterest in learning.

Mealtime can be a mathematicallearning experience. At dinnertime,you may notice your child countingthe peas on her plate, not in theinterest of showing off her mathskills, but because she wants toknow how many more she has leftto eat. By simply asking, “Howmany peas do you have left onyour spoon?” you are encouraging

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4 Years, Months 9-11

Everyday activities that teach math

Activity Parent interaction Child’s learning experience

Setting the table “How many people are eating dinnertonight? So how many plates do we need?How many forks? Let’s count them out.Okay, now let’s give one to each person:one for sister, one for Daddy, one for you,one for me.”

l Practicing counting objects

l Following simple directions

l Matching one-to-one when counting

Washing dishes (unbreakable) “Let’s measure the detergent into the

dishwasher to make the dishes clean,” or,

“What do you want to wash first: the cups

or the plates? Are you going to start with

the big spoons or little spoons? How will

you arrange them in the drying rack?

There are three steps: we wash with soap,

we rinse with water, and we put things on

the rack to dry.”

l Learning to measure

l Understanding time sequences

l Understanding sizes and shapes

l Categorizing

l Putting things in a series

Cleaning up “Look at all the little blocks on the floor. Iwonder how many there are?” Pause andlet your child estimate. “Let’s count themtogether as we put them in the box.”

l Learning to compare “few” and “many”

l Practicing counting objects

Daily routine “First we have lunch, then we take a nap,then it’s snack time, and then we gooutdoors to play.” (Most children do notreally understand clock time until they areabout 8 years old.)

l Learning how one event follows

another in a predictable sequence

In the kitchen “We need six muffin cup liners to put inthe muffin pan.”“What size container should we use forthese leftovers?”“The cookies need to bake for 10 minutes.Let’s set the timer so they don’t burn.”“The recipe says to add by teaspoons andcups. You can add each ingredient as Ifollow the directions.”

l Matching one-to-one when counting

l Making estimates in relation to size

l Understanding measurement of time

l Understanding measurement of

ingredients

Shopping “We need the biggest box of this cereal.Can you help me find it?”“We need five apples. You count while Ihold the bag.”“The cart is getting full since we put in somuch food.”

l Comparing sizes

l Learning to count objects

l Comparing costs of different items

l Learning “lots” versus “a little”

You can help make the most of these opportunities by encouraging a child’s curiosity and problem-solving.This doesn’t require buying packaged parent–child interaction programs. Quality education doesn’t have tocome from a box with a big price tag. It comes from the loving interaction of parents and children sharingstories, work, play, and life. Time, patience, and positive reinforcement cannot be purchased.

1+2=3

the thinking skills required formastering future math concepts.In addition, this gentle guiding willencourage the dawdling child.

Children like to put numbers withconcepts such as length, quantity,time, temperature, space, andmoney. They learn math conceptsby telling how old they are, byholding up their chubby fingers. Achild’s age, height, weight,address, and phone number areimportant numbers to her. Whenyou pay attention to these personalnumbers, it will spark her interest.

Every time you do something,math plays a part. Give her achance to see how. Watch forclues from her. In fact, childrenwill often take initiative in askingfor help: she might ask, “Howmany birds are in the tree?” Youneed only to be willing to respondto her interest. With your help,she will develop a lifelong interestin using math. For ideas oneveryday activities that teachmath, see the chart on page 5.

Immunizationreminder8

Between the ages of 4 and 6,your child needs a few boosterimmunizations. Two importantbooster shots are DTaP(diphtheria, pertussis, andtetanus) and MMR (measles,mumps, and rubella). Childrenalso get the polio virus boosterand the varicella (chickenpox)booster during this time.

Schools, preschools, and manyday care centers will requireproof of immunization before yourchild can attend, so it isimportant to keep on top of hisvaccinations. As recommendationschange frequently, check withyour child’s doctor. You can alsovisit the Maine ImmunizationProgram’s Web site atwww.maine.gov/dhhs/boh/ddc/_immunization/ or call (800) 867-4775 for current information.

Watch out: bikes arevehicles, not toys!9

Every year, almost 800 people arekilled while riding bicycles. Ofthese deaths, 14 percent arechildren under 16 years old. Ontop of that, over 10,000 childrenunder 16 suffer bicycle-relatedinjuries each year.10 Tricycle-relatedinjuries and deaths are lesscommon, but they can occur whena child is unsupervised, particularlyaround pools and cars.

Your child may be too young tolet him ride his bicycle (ortricycle) without supervision, butit is not too early to start good

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Remember that all childrendevelop at their own pace.Look for your child’sgrowth in each area. Thenyou can encourage eachnew skill.

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4 Years, Months 9-11

habits. When he rides, let himknow that bicycles are vehiclesand not toys. Show him safeplaces to ride, such as thesidewalk. Let him know that thereare rules to follow when he isriding, such as to always lookbefore crossing the street.

Helmets

Always make sure that your childwears a helmet, even if he is justpedaling around the driveway. Thiswill get him used to putting it onevery time, and used to the feelingof it on his head. As well as beingimportant for safety, it is also thelaw. In Maine, children under 16years of age are required to weara helmet.11 Always wear a helmetwhen you ride, too.

Buy a new helmet that has beentested and meets the uniformsafety standard issued by the U. S. Consumer Product SafetyCommission; use an old helmetonly if it has a seal from one ormore of the voluntary bicyclehelmet standards, such as ASTM,Snell, or ANSI.

But it’s not enough to simply buya bicycle helmet. It should beproperly fitted and adjusted, andworn correctly each timesomeone wears it. Here are thesteps to getting a good fit onyour child’s helmet:

Size—Measure your child’s headwith a measuring tape forapproximate size. Have him trythe helmet on to ensure that itfits snugly. While it is sitting flaton top of his head, make sure thehelmet doesn’t rock side to side.Sizing pads come with new

helmets. Use the pads to securelyfit the helmet to his head. Mixand match the sizing pads for thegreatest comfort. You can removethe padding when his headgrows. If the helmet has auniversal fit ring instead of sizingpads, adjust the ring size to fithis head.

Position—The helmet should sitlevel on his head and low on hisforehead, one or two adult-sizedfinger-widths above his eyebrow.

Buckles—Center the left buckleunder the chin. On most helmets,the straps can be pulled from theback of the helmet to makeadjustments. This task is easier ifyou take the helmet off to makethese adjustments.

Side straps—Adjust the slider onboth straps to form a “V” shapeunder, and slightly in front of, hisears. Lock the slider if possible.

Chin strap—Buckle the chinstrap. Tighten the strap until it issnug, so that no more than oneor two child-sized fingers fitunder the strap.

Replace any helmet that has beenhit hard or has been damaged,and get a new helmet if yourchild has outgrown his.Remember, a helmet can onlyprotect your child’s head if hewears it every time he rides!

The helmet should sit level on herhead and low on his forehead, oneor two adult-sized finger-widthsabove his eyebrow.

8

How much milk?Four-year-olds need about 800milligrams of calcium per day.Calcium can be found in manyfoods, such as vegetables, butthe best source of calcium is milkand dairy products. This isbecause milk also has othervitamins that help grow strongbones, like vitamin D. It is alsoeasier for your child’s stomach toget the calcium out of milk thanout of vegetables.

Your child should be drinking 2 1/2 cups of milk per day. Thiswill meet all her calcium needs.The milk she drinks should beeither low-fat (1 percent or 2percent) or fat free (skim) milk.12

What if she is lactose intolerant?There are dairy substitutes for milkthat provide the same benefits.Many children that are lactoseintolerant can still consume otherdairy products. One serving (1/2cup) of milk can be substitutedwith 1/2 cup of yogurt or pudding,3/4 ounces of cheese, or 1 cup ofcottage cheese.13 Check with yourdoctor before making anysubstitutions, however, becausenot all lactose-intolerant childrencan eat other dairy foods.

Cooperative play14

Parents and other adults wantchildren to play nicely with otherchildren. They’re pleased whenchildren share their toys and helpothers. But it’s hard for preschoolchildren to play cooperatively,share, and help. Children can’talways act in positive social waysbecause they’re egocentric: they

can’t imagine how anotherperson may feel or think. Theyhaven’t had enough socialexperiences. They haven’tmatured enough to “putthemselves in the shoes” ofanother person. They’re onlyaware of their own feelings orthoughts.

Here is an example of children’segocentrism. Maria, who is 4years old, wants to help mix thecookie batter. On her way to thetable, she knocks over her 19-month-old brother, Nicholas. Hebegins to cry. Maria continues tostir, not noticing her brother’stears. Maria’s dad says, “Maria,you knocked Nick down. Howwould you feel if he knocked youdown?” Maria looks at her dadbriefly. Then she continues to stirthe cookie batter.

Many adults would be angry orastonished by Maria’s behavior.But Maria is acting normally forher age. She has little or nounderstanding of how her brotheris feeling. She only knows thatshe’s happy, and she’s onlythinking about stirring the cookiebatter.

Four-year-olds are still learningthe difference between right andwrong. Parents may spend timeteaching their children tocooperate, help, share, and begood, but children can’t alwaysbehave in those ways until they’redevelopmentally old enough. Hereare some ways adults can helpchildren to learn these behaviors.

NAsk your child to talk abouthis feelings concerning otherchildren’s acts. For example,

The Growing Years

Your child should be drinking 2 1/2 cups of milk per day.This will meet all her calciumneeds.

4 Years, Months 9-11

“How did you feel when Jimmyknocked over your blocks?Were you angry or sad?”

N Tell your child how his behavioraffected another child. Forinstance, “When you knockedyour brother down, he feltangry. He also hurt his arm. Hewas feeling pain.”

N Talk about the similarities anddifferences between yourchild’s feelings and thefeelings of others. Forexample, “You were excitedand happy about playing inthe sand box, but Kathy wassad. She wanted to play withher dolls,” or, “Both of youfeel angry because you can’thave ice cream cones,” or“you were afraid when youhear the loud noise and Benlaughed, but you wer bothsurprised.”

N Tell your child how his behaviorhas affected you. “Hittinghurts. It might hurt me or yourbrother or your friend. I can’tallow you to hit me or anyone.When you’re angry at me, youneed to say, ‘Daddy, I’m angryat you.’ Then we can talk aboutyour feelings.”

N Encourage your child tochange a situation. Let’s takethe example of Maria and herbrother described earlier. Talkto both children about theirfeelings. Then say, “Maria,let’s make some room on thechair for Nick. Nick, you canhelp Maria stir the cookiebatter. I’ll hold you so youwon’t fall. I can help you stir

if you need help.” You’reteaching both children how tosolve a problem between twopeople.

You’re showing children that it’simportant to help others and sharein an activity. Children who share,cooperate, and help others tend tohave parents who are warm,affectionate, and nurturing.

Games for growing

Scratch art

Give your child a sheet of thickpaper like cardstock. Have hercolor the paper in completely withdifferent colored crayons, leavingno white spots on the paper. Mixsome black tempera paint with acouple of drops of dish detergent.Paint over the crayon and allowthe paint to dry. Then, give her asmall scratching tool like atoothpick or a pen without thepoint, and let her scratchwhatever designs she wants intothe paint. The scratched parts willreveal the color underneath,making a very unique design.

Word games

I spy—Pick an object in the roomthat you both can see, anddescribe it. “I spy, with my littleeye, something orange.” Your childcan start guessing objects in theroom, and you can narrow it downwith more clues, like size andshape, the purpose of the object,and so on. Trade off so that shehas a chance to try describing.

Opposites—Think of a word andhave your child tell you the

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The Growing Years

opposite of the word. Forexample, you pick the word “big”and she guesses “small.” Taketurns thinking up words.

Feeler— Get a small paper bag,and put a few small objects or toysinside the bag. Have your child puther hand inside and try to guesswhat the objects are withoutlooking. Encourage her to describewhat she is feeling in her hand.

Research references

1Fulton, A., 1999. Understanding Children: The

Five-Year-Old. T-2369. Cooperative Extension

Service. Stillwater, OK: Oklahoma State University.

2Barry, E., 2006. “Children’s Memory: A Primer

for Understanding Behavior.” Early ChildhoodEducation Journal 33: 405–11.

3Reese, E., and R. Newcombe, 2007. “Training

mothers in elaborative reminiscing enhances

children’s autobiographical memory and

narrative.” Child Development 78: 1153–170.

4North Dakota Extension Service, 1992. War

Play, Gun Play, Superhero and Violent Play…Why Won’t It Go Away? Parenting Preschoolers

series. Fargo, ND: North Dakota State University.

5Levin, D. E., 2003. Beyond Banning Superhero

and War Play: Meeting Children’s Needs inViolent Times. Washington, D.C.: National

Association for the Education of Young Children.

http://www.journal.naeyc.org/btj/200305/warAndS

uperhero.pdf (accessed October 9, 2008).

6Frazier, B. H. and B. B. Tyler, 1998. Show You

Care–Show Love. Leaflet 238. Parents of Preteens

series. College Park, MD: Cooperative Extension

Service, the University of Maryland System.

7North Dakota Extension Service, 1992. Beyond

1,2,3… Parenting Preschoolers series. Fargo,

ND: North Dakota State University.

8U. S. Department of Health and Human

Services, 2008. Recommended immunizationschedule for persons aged 0-6 years. Publication

number CS103164. Washington, D.C.: Centers

for Disease Control and Prevention.

9National Highway Traffic Safety Administration,

2006. Easy Steps to Properly Fit a BicycleHelmet. Washington, D.C.: National Highway

Traffic Safety Administration.

10National Highway Traffic Safety Administration,

2006. Traffic Safety Facts: 2006 Data: Bicyclistsand Other Cyclists. DOT publication No. HS 810

802. Washington, D.C.: NHTSA’s National Center

for Statistics and Analysis.

11Maine State Legislature, 1999. Bicycle Safety

Education Act. Augusta, ME: Bicycle Coalition of

Maine.

http://www.bikemaine.org/ld1808_about.htm

(accessed August 18, 2009).

12Milk Matters Calcium Education Campaign,

2008. Meeting Calcium Needs. Bethesda, MD:

National Institute of Child Health and Human

Development.

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/milk/providers/needs.cfm

(accessed October 15, 2008).

13Medline Plus, 2007. “Cow’s milk for infants and

children.” U. S. National Library of MedicineMedical Encyclopedia. Bethesda, MD: U. S.

National Library of Medicine.

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4 Years, Months 9-11

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/0

02448.htm (accessed October 15, 2008).

14University of New Hampshire Cooperative

Extension, 2002. The 3-, 4- and 5-Year-Old Child— Changes in Social Behavior. Durham, NH:

University of New Hampshire.

Years 3–5 of The Growing Years areupdated from The Growing Years, 1sted., prepared by Extension AssociatePamela LaHaye, which was adapted andreprinted from two Extensionpublications: Parenting the First Year, aNorth Central Regional ExtensionPublication, number 321, produced byUW-Extension, Cooperative Extension,and Parent Express: A Month-by-Month

Newsletter for You and Your Baby,produced by the University of CaliforniaCooperative Extension.

In addition, parts are reproduced andadapted with permission from: DelCampo, Diana, 2009. Months 36–54.Preprint. Just in Time Parenting series.Las Cruces, NM: New Mexico StateCooperative Extension. eXtension.http://www.parentinginfo.org/extension.php (accessed July 5, 2009).

Prepared by Noelle Keyser,AmeriCorps VISTA member forUniversity of Maine CooperativeExtension; supervision byExtension Child and FamilyDevelopment Specialist LeslieForstadt.

Reviewed by Home Visitor LaurieDunton, Parents are Teachers,Too; Extension Child and FamilyDevelopment Specialist LeslieForstadt; Extension ParentEducator Pamela LaHaye; andAssistant Extension ProfessorKate Yerxa.

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The Growing Years

Child and Family Development

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University of Maine

Orono, ME 04469-5741

Return Service Requested

4632

Months 1 through 36 of The Growing Years are reproduced and adapted with permissionfrom the Parenting the First Year series published by University of Wisconsin-MadisonExtension. All rights reserved.

Adapted by Leslie Forstadt, child and family development specialist. Administrativeassistance provided by Nannette Marcinkowski; design by Cindy Eves-Thomas and Tracey Nelson; editing by Laura Latinski and Kyle McCaskill.

To contact us about The Growing Years, e-mail extension.parenting@maine.edu or call(207) 581-3739.

Call 800-287-0274 or TDD 800-287-8957 (in Maine), or 207-581-3188, for informationon publications and program offerings from University of Maine Cooperative Extension,or visit www.extension.umaine.edu.

© 2009, 2012

A Member of the University of Maine System

Published and distributed in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of Congress of May 8 and June 30,1914, by the University of Maine and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating. Cooperative Extension andother agencies of the USDA provide equal opportunities in programs and employment. 8/12

In complying with the letter and spirit of applicable laws and pursuing its own goals of diversity, theUniversity of Maine shall not discriminate on the grounds of race, color, religion, sex, sexualorientation, including transgender status or gender expression, national origin, citizenship status, age,disability, genetic information or veteran’s status in employment, education, and all other areas of theUniversity of Maine. The University provides reasonable accommodations to qualified individuals withdisabilities upon request.Questions and complaints about discrimination in any area of the Universityshould be directed to Karen Kemble, Esq., Director of Equal Opportunity, ADA Coordinator, Title IXCoordinator, Rehabilitation Act Section 504 Coordinator, The University of Maine, 5754 North StevensHall, Room 101, Orono, ME 04469-5754, telephone (207) 581-1226, TTY (207) 581-9484.

Further resourcesUniversity of Maine CooperativeExtension(800) 287-0271;www.extension.umaine.edu

2-1-1 MaineDial 2-1-1; www.211maine.org

Child Care ResourceDevelopment Centers(888) 917-1100

Poison Control(800) 222-1222

Maine Statewide DomesticViolence Hotline(866) 834-HELP (4357);www.mcedv.org

He or she, him or her?This series gives equal time to both sexes. That’s why we take turns referring tochildren as “he” or “she.” Keep in mind that we are talking about all children whenwe use “he” or “she.”