Plus extracts from The Girl’s Guide to Being a Boss and The Girl’s Guide to being a

Working Mum

The Girl’s Guideto Kicking Your Career into Gear

Valuable Lessons and Smart Suggestions for Making Your Work Life Work for You

Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

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You are here

Guess what? If you’re not look-ing out for your career, thennobody is. If you want to be

passionate about what you do, committed to the changes youmake, and successful, then you must take control of your profes-sional destiny. Only you can determine who you are, what you cando, and where you want to go. This chapter will hold your handwhile you step back and evaluate where you started, where you areon the career path today, how you got there, and most important,where you want to be tomorrow. We will ask you to ask yourself thetough questions: What does success mean for you? Are your fearsholding you back? Is your job still working for you? Where did youenvision yourself at this point? What kind of employee or managerare you? By diving deep into what motivates you professionally andreading the stories of women who have taken charge of their owncareers, you will be armed with a better understanding of yourselfand able to take that first step on the road to changing your life.

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Being the girl who makes it happenWe wrote this book for every woman out there who knows she cando more and wants to tackle the challenge. If you are stuck in yourcareer, frustrated with your position within a company, or boredwith the professional path you have chosen, then it is time tochange your thinking. Start with a simple question: At the end ofyour life are you going to be proud of the extraordinary amount oftime you have spent on this work?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’, then use this book to get you to thenext level by learning the skills to ask for what you deserve andconfront your challenges head-on. But if you’ve answered ‘no’,then use this book to figure out what’s missing—and what youneed to do to take charge of your work life. If you’ve got into thehabit of writing a negative script for yourself, we’ll work on therewrite. Don’t accept that you are the girl who never gets what shewants. Instead, become the girl who makes it happen for herself.

Think about this. According to a study done by the NationalSleep Foundation, the average American spends 46 hours perweek at work; in the United Kingdom, the Office of NationalStatistics reckons the average is 39.5 hours per week. We’d bet it’sactually higher than that, especially with inventions like theBlackBerry. And 46 hours plus is a lot of time. Since the majorityof our waking hours are spent working, we had better like whatwe’re doing. The more we like what we do, the more energy we’llbe able to devote to doing it well. The key to finding happiness inwhat you do is in accepting who you are and what you want fromyour work life. Comparing your path to others’ won’t get youanywhere because your skills, values, personality, responsibilities,and even your location are all unique factors that will affect thetrajectory of your career. If you’re frustrated with where you areright now, then finding the answers to what you should do aboutit starts from looking within.

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Defining your own successOver the last few years, we’ve asked hundreds of women to definesuccess. For the women just starting out, success was most oftena title above their peers, and the income to match. Many womenin the middle of their careers felt successful if they had jobs thatenabled them the flexibility they needed to be successful workingmothers. And women late in their careers defined success as lovingwhat they were doing professionally.

Wherever you are now, being aware of what success is to YOU will help motivate you to achieve the kind of career that is fulfilling and challenging and pays what you want, too. Beingaware of your goal will also help you create your action plan.

Here are a few factors to consider when you’re trying to definewhat success looks like.

• Is making big money a priority? If so, what are you willing tosacrifice for that money? If you sacrificed your personal life formoney, would you still feel successful?

• Does size matter? Are you looking to manage a big team? Areyou willing to train to become a strong leader? Do you havethe confidence required to manage effectively, and if not, canyou fake it?

• Is achieving a flexible schedule a factor in your success? If so,are you in a career that makes that possible?

• Does working part-time define success? Are you able to dothat at the moment?

• Would you feel successful having a job that required you totravel?

• If you could just clock-in and clock-out with no residualstress, would that feel like success to you?

• Does it come down to being passionate about what you doprofessionally?

• Would you feel successful if you were working at a non-profitorganisation?

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The Girl’s Guideto Being a Boss

Valuable lessons and smart suggestions formaking the most of managing

Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

A & C Black London

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You’re a Big Girl Now:From Just Another Employee

to Chick in Charge

OK. So you’re the boss now.The supervisor. The manager.The captain. The taskmaster.

Those days of taking orders, running errands, and clock-watchingare over forever. At last, you get to call the shots.

As exciting as all this might seem, once the rush of thepromotion is over, you might be scratching your head wonderingexactly what your new responsibility entails. Many of us haven’thad positive role models and feel a little lost once we arrive at thegrown-up table. Fear not. You know you can do the job; all youneed is a little helpful advice to send you on your way.

Whether you manage two people as a shift manager or lord itover an entire corporate empire, we’ll help you to take the leap

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from mediocre to marvellous. And for those of you who arealready running the show, we can help you to lose that nickname,‘Bitch on Wheels’, and become the leader your employees deserve.

We’ll show you what it means to be queen: how to wield yourever-evolving bag of management tricks; how to discover what isexpected of you; how to decide what you can reasonably expectof your team; and how to jump in and love every minute of yourHead Honchoness. You’ve earned this, baby. Enjoy!

Good Days and Bad Days: The Good, Bad,and Ugly Aspects of Being a ManagerLeading can be a daunting task. In some ways it can be positivelythrilling. In others, it can be a pain in the backside. Just as thefreedom, responsibility, and respect start to lift you to cloudnine, the paranoia, fear, and anxiety can bring you crashing backdown to earth. Like all things, being the recognized leader canhave its highs and lows. Here’s a look at the lawns on both sidesof the fence.

The goodMoney, money, money, money, MONEY!We might be dreaming, but, if you’ve been promoted, we’d liketo assume a nice pay rise came along with it. Hopefully you’llhave to struggle less to make ends meet or face your credit cardbills at the end of the month. Even if the new job doesn’t meana giant windfall, being the boss should put you in a better financialposition than you were before. And, if you’re not, make sure youfind out the going rate and lobby for what you deserve.

Princess of powerPower is good. Making decisions that lead to positive outcomesis good. Making the calls, changing the rules, and forgingdecisions that may alter the course of the entire company can begreat. Having the ultimate responsibility is positively thrilling.

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The bitch boss who throws her weight around, barks orders, andis generally focused on herself while making her employeesmiserable doesn’t have to be you. Once you settle into your newrole, you’ll find that being the leader means you can be themanager who boosts employees and gets real enjoyment fromwatching her colleagues grow and prosper. Building a team,working together, and teaching others will be hugely gratifying.At the end of the day, it can make you feel like a million dollars.

The more you knowWhile mentoring your dewy protégés, you yourself will beacquiring new information and facing fresh and excitingchallenges everyday. Acquired knowledge changes us and makesus better mothers, friends, and businesswomen. Growingprofessionally can be empowering and give you a broaderperspective on both the world and your place within it. The moreyou know the better off you are, both intellectually and when itcomes to updating your CV. Don’t forget the journey to becominga great leader is a life-long one.

Your mum will be proudUltimately, if you succeed, the prestige and glow of success willmake all the mistakes and missteps worthwhile. There is nogreater feeling in the world than a job well done.

The badTraining, anyone?The sad reality is there’s never enough training offered toemployees. Even in a company with well-established trainingprogrammes, there will be plenty of times when you just don’tknow what to do. You would think that when a new person ishired she would be handed all the necessary tools to do her jobeffectively. Maybe the person before you fled the job or was fired,and the people who remain don’t really know what she did.

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Perhaps everyone is too busy to sit down and go through yourjob in detail. Whatever the reason, your training will probablyconsist of ‘Here’s your office. Good luck.’ It’s up to you to workout how to achieve your goals using the best resource you have– your staff.

It’s lonely at the topFor all of the positive things your new role as a manager canbring, probably the scariest downside of the whole thing is theisolation you will feel as the woman at the top of the corporateladder. You have the responsibility to make your team a success,and, if it fails, you take the blame. Gone are the days when youcan be everyone’s friend. No more shuffling off to the canteento spend an hour having a good natter about the latest episodeof Desperate Housewives. When asked the biggest mistake thatnew managers make, 90% of the women we interviewed repliedthat they try to be liked. You are not there to be anyone’s friend.You are in the leadership role to provide the tools andenvironment that your team needs to accomplish their goals. Ifthe team is not accomplishing the goals, with all the appropriatesupport, then you, new manager, will have to reprimand andmaybe dismiss team members who aren’t measuring up. Thepower that you gain when promoted will separate you from yourteam.

Keep the personal personal, and never let them see you sweatThis is a tough one. No matter how bad it gets, no matter whatkind of a day you’re having, you absolutely, positively cannot freakout. It doesn’t matter if your car died in the middle of themotorway on your way to work, or that you just found out yourhusband has been having an affair. Your personal problemsshould not come into the workplace. At Ann’s first job as anassistant, her boss was trying to adopt a baby. She had a specialmobile phone just for potential birth mothers to call. When her

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boss was in a meeting, Ann was required to man the baby phone.If a potential birth mother called, Ann would have to find herboss. If her boss couldn’t be disturbed, she would have to interviewthe potential birth mother and try to schedule a time for a returncall. Ann was flattered at the amount of trust put in her by herboss, but scared to death that, if she messed up the baby phone,not only was she jeopardizing her job, she could potentially causeher boss to the lose the baby she was so desperately trying to get.While adopting a baby was obviously the priority for her boss, itwas unfair to make it the focus of Ann’s day.

The buck stops with youThe team’s problems are now your problems – individually andcollectively. As a matter of fact, everyone’s problems become yourproblems. If a member of your group has a sick child and can’tbe there for the ten o’clock meeting with the biggest client, thenyou have to find a way to cover for her without the client everknowing. If your top account executive loses the biggest account,and your department won’t make its numbers, then you will haveto find a replacement account or shrink the team to cover theshortfall. And, at the very least, you will have to take the heatfrom your management. If someone on your team opens ane-mail from her boyfriend that infects your entire office with avirus, erasing all your records from the last five years, then youand the IT department have a very big problem. No more hidinguntil the storm blows over. It will be your responsibility tomobilize the team, board up the windows, and evacuate.

Discipline, warnings, and wielding the axeDelivering bad news is never easy; deciding to severely damagesomeone’s livelihood by sacking them because they can’t cut themustard is no picnic. We’ve devoted almost an entire chapter (7)to the ‘f ’ word – firing.

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The Girl’s Guideto Being a

Working MumHow to be happy at work

and happy at home

Caitlin Friedman and Kimberly Yorio

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You’ve Got Nine Monthsto Get Ready. Hint:

It Goes Quickly

C ongratulations. You’re preg-nant or thinking about be-coming pregnant. You are

about to embark on the scariest and most unique nine monthsof your life. You’ve signed up for the pregnancy calendar and youeagerly watch the progress of your growing baby. You’ve cutdown on or given up caffeine and alcohol, stopped eating runnycheeses and sushi and are busy stuffing your face with freshvegetables and folic acid. You’ve bought every book on preg-nancy and are busily scouring websites for all the news you needto know. In between all of this fun and excitement, you go towork. You, after all, are a career girl – a career girl who is alsogoing to be a mum. You are thrilled by the prospect (and perhapsa little scared) and can’t wait to shout it from the rooftops oncethat third month has passed. But don’t start shouting yet.You’ve got a lot of planning to do first.

This chapter will give you the information and strategies you

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need to successfully navigate your pregnancy. After readingchapter one, you will be armed with all the tools you need to go ona work- and worry-free maternity leave. We inform you about yourrights, the options for childcare and share resources and storiesthat you will support you in this very scary and exhilarating timein your life.

Good luck. The next nine months are going to be a whirlwind.

First Things First, Know Your RightsThis can get dense. And as with all legalese, you may just want toskip right over it. Don’t. Don’t even put it off until later. Youabsolutely must know your legal rights and options and here theyare. All information was correct at the time of going to press, butwe’ve included the relevant Web links so that you can keep up tospeed with any changes.

In the UK, employers have a legal obligation to look after thehealth and safety of pregnant employees. They need to ensure thatthe pregnant person is not obliged to lift heavy loads, work inconfined spaces or unsuitable workstations, work in stressful orviolent environments, or be exposed to potentially harmfulsubstances such as lead.

The Employment Rights Act of 1996 defines your legal rights in terms of ordinary maternity leave, additional maternity leaveand statutory maternity pay. Part VIII is the relevant section, and you can read it online at www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1996/ukpga_19960018_en_1, but here is a summary of the most important points.

Maternity leave (ordinary)At the time of writing, as a pregnant UK employee you are entitledto a period of 26 weeks’ ordinary maternity leave, regardless oflength of service to your employer. To qualify, you must tell youremployer – by the end of the 15th week before the week when thebirth is expected – that you are pregnant, the week you are due,

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and the date you intend to start maternity leave. You can normallystart your maternity leave whenever you choose, as long as it’s noearlier than the beginning of the 11th week before the expectedweek of the birth.

Your employer must then inform you in writing, within 28 daysof your notification, of your expected return date. However, youcan change this date if you give your employer 28 days’ notice.

During maternity leave an employee is entitled to all the bene-fits of the terms of her normal contract (except for remuneration).At the end of the maternity leave, she has the legal right to returnto her original job. If the situation dictates that the original job isno longer available, the employer must offer a suitable alternativevacancy. If the employer cannot offer suitable alternative work, shemay be entitled to redundancy pay.

Statutory maternity payStatutory Maternity Pay (SMP) should be paid if a woman hasbeen employed by the same employer for a continuous period of26 weeks or more (calculated from the 15th week before theexpected week of the birth) and has average weekly earnings atleast equal to the lower earnings limit for National Insurancecontributions. SMP can be paid for up to 26 weeks, and is paid bythe employer but partly (or, in the case of small companies,entirely) reimbursed by the state.

Additional maternity leaveAn employee with 26 weeks’ continuous service (calculated fromthe beginning of the 14th week before the expected week of thebirth) is entitled to an additional 26 weeks’ maternity leave. Forthe duration of this period her contract of employment continuesbut with limited terms and conditions. This means it is possible to be away from your job on maternity leave for around 52 weeksin total. If you are eligible for additional maternity leave, your employer will assume that you will be taking it. At the end

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of additional maternity leave, as with ordinary maternity leave,you are entitled to return to your original job or, if this is notreasonably practicable, to a suitable alternative job.

According to the Sex Discrimination Act of 1975, a ‘period oflegal protection’ begins when a woman becomes pregnant andends at the end of her period of ordinary maternity leave (or heradditional maternity leave if she is entitled to it) or if, earlier thanthis, she returns to work after her pregnancy. If she is not entitledto any maternity leave connected with the pregnancy then thisprotected period ends two weeks after the end of the pregnancy.Within this protected period, a person is said to discriminateagainst a women if, on the grounds of her pregnancy, or the factthat she is exercising her right to take maternity leave, she istreated ‘less favourably’. This would include, for example, notgetting a job or being passed up for a promotion directly becauseof pregnancy. This discrimination also applies if the woman issuffering from an illness as a consequence of a pregnancy.

The Sex Discrimination Act also states that employers mustoffer a pregnant employee not only maternity-related remunera-tion, but also increase-related remuneration in respect of whenshe is not on maternity leave (eg standard pay increase for all employees), and bonus-related remuneration if she is oncompulsory maternity leave. You can read the full text of the Sex Discrimination Act here at www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2008/uksi_20080656_en_1.

The law can (and does!) change regularly, as do maternity payand leave entitlements, so check regularly on the useful govern-ment website DirectGov (www.direct.gov.uk) for updates.

It can be a challenge to decipher how your employer will reactto absences due to pregnancy, pregnancy-related health issues,and childbirth-related absences. If you are not aware of your rightsand the laws and guidelines that are in place to protect you, youcould face a maternity or parental leave that is cobbled togetherfrom sick leave, holiday entitlement or unpaid family leave. You

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do not need to do this! But meticulous planning is crucial in theearly stages of your pregnancy. The goal is to set yourself up withall of the necessary information as soon as possible, so that youcan make both a seamless exit and stress-free return to the work-place.

Save Your Time, You’re Going to Need ItAs your pregnancy progresses, you will begin to craft a birth plan.You’d be smart to create a maternity leave plan, too. Your goal isto maximise the paid time off and it quickly becomes a jugglingact. Here are a few ways to stockpile your days:

• Schedule all doctors’ appointments for off-work hours if youcan. In the UK, you are entitled to take time off for doctor’sappointments, so there’s nothing wrong in being out of theoffice for this very legitimate reason, but as far as possible,show your boss and the team that you’re still committed togetting your work done too. You want to demonstrate to theboss and team that your priority is still the job (even if it isn’t).

• Go to work even when you’re feeling ropey – provided thatyou can get the job done. It’s better to show up and getsomething done then use up a sick day that you might needlater.

• Do not go to work if you feel so lousy that you can’t get yourwork done. Go to the doctor instead. While you may thinkyou’re being a trooper, you may be giving your boss a reasonto deal with you harshly or treat you differently due to yourpregnancy.

• Begin a savings plan: not for the baby’s eventual universitycareer, but for when you are on maternity pay at home takingcare of the baby. Many mums-to-be don’t realise that they canstart a ‘salary sacrifice’ scheme that helps to provide to return-to-work childcare a few months down the line. For moreinformation, visit www.childcarevouchers.co.uk.

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