TheFutureofEverythingVolume2ByAlexHammer

5.Sheiscompassionateandgood-hearted

Youmightnotthinkthisafterthewayshe“spilledthebeans”onherbossRogerAiles,howsheaggressivelyquestionssomeofherguests(theoneswhoknowlessofwhattheyaretalkingabout)andherlitigatorpast.

ViewerslikeMegynbecauseshe’snice.She’ssuperintelligent,butitisthenicefactorwhichisthekeytoherappeal.4.She’struthfulandfair

Althoughshecaneasilybekind,shewillgoforthejugularwhenneeded.Becausesheusesthissparingly,itisallthemoreimpressiveinregardtoherrestraintdepictingahighlevelofselfconfidence.

ShekepttheRogerAilesinformationprivateandpraisedherbosswhilehercareerunfoldedatFoxNews.Thiswasprudentandsmart,nothypocrisyorself-servingassomehaveclaimed.

3.Sheknowsshe’ssexyIt’snotthewardrobechoices.Checkouthersmilefromtimetotime.Itcanbequitemischievous.Sheisbeautifulinsideandout.

2.Sheisveryself-awareThisgoesalongwithherprecision.Sheknowshowthingswillbeperceivedandprecedeswithherwordchoiceaccordingly.

Megynisacomplexcompositeofcomplementaryandevenoppositetraits.Tough,kind,fair,loyal,self-interestedandambitious,intelligentanddowntoearth.

She’sawellintegratedpersonaandperson,atthetopofhergame(andtopoftheheap).Personaisagoodword.YouknowMegynbutyoudon’t.Thisishowshewantsitanditservesherwell.1.She’sheadedforbiggerthings.

She’stakenhertimegettingtoanelitelevel,andseemstobaskinitassheshould.Atthesametimesheseemsrestless,andhasmadecommentsaboutpotentiallymovingon.

PoliticsistoonarrowultimatelyforMegyn,justaslawwas.Sheditchedonehusbandtomeetherhighercalling(interpretinghowshehasdiscussedit)andnonetworkwillbeabletopermanentlykeepherunderitswingwhenitbecomestimeforhertofurthersoar.

Whatisthedifferencebetweenclickbaitandlegitimatepromotion?

Dosuperiorproductsultimatelywininthemarketplace,ordosuperiorstories(narratives)?

Isthemarketplace,whenallissaidanddone,essentiallyameritocracy,or,ashasbeenfamouslysaid,isthere“afoolborneverysecond”?

I’vegotafewthoughtsonthistopic.Likemany,Iusedtofeelthattheworkstandsonit’sown.Peoplelookforquality,andthroughwordofmouthevenifyourproductisnotwellknownatfirst,afew

individualswillfindit,telltheirfriends,andthenbeforeyouknowit(beforetoomuchtimehaspassed)yoursuperiorproductwillwininthemarketplace.Ofcourseweknowthattheworldisfullofinferiorproductswhichwonthemarketplace.Sometimes“goodenough”withastrongadbudgetis“goodenough”.Andyetconsumersarediscerningandeveryindustryhaslotsofcompetition,soifyoutrytosellc — -,believeme,andyouknowthistoo,youwon’tgetveryfar.

So,whatistherelationshipbetweenqualityandmarketing,andwhichismostimportanttosuccess?Thinkaboutthis.AreyouconsideringtheargumentsthatIammakinginthisarticle(andamabouttomake)orareyoujustscrollingthroughthepicturestoseewhat’snext?

Humansareemotional.Andrational.Webuyonimpulse.Webuyforstatus.Webuyforsecurity.

Andformanylogicalreasonsaswell.Ibelievethatlifeisameritocracy,butnotarationalone.Forgreatsellers,greatleaders,greatindividuals,theirsalesandsalesmanshipskillsareasimportantastheiroperationalandprojectmanagementexpertise.

Disciplineisthekeytosuccessinlife.Butunpredictabilityalsoplaysarole.Peoplewanttobeabletocountonyouinlife.Buttheydon’twanttobebored.

Thesameistruewithyourproducts.

Applehashighendproductswhosedesignandfunctionscustomerslove.ButApplealsodazzlesandsurprises(asdiditscocreator,SteveJobs).

You’resatisfiedwithAppleproductsifyouareadie-hardfan,becauseyouareenthralled.

JJunkFoodDiets

Wecan’tliveoncakeandicecream,butifwestayalivefor1,000yearsbutdon’tenjoyourlives,thenwhatarewelivingfor?Powercomesfromcertainty,andcertaintycomesfrompastsuccess.Pastsuccesscomesfromquality.

SteveMartinfamouslysaid,“Besogoodtheycan’tignoreyou”.Likeattractstolike.Qualityindividualsrecognizeandflocktoeachother.

Moneyisanexpressionofvalue.Themoreyouarewillingtospendonanobject,themoreitisdesiredorwantedbyyou(althoughsometimesa$2itemisallthatisneededatthetime).

I’menthralledbytheworkofGaryVaynerchuk.AndMarcAndreessen.AndSonalChokshi(amongmanyothers).EachoftheseindividualsisamixofextremelyhighIQandEQ.Showmanship(butgoodnaturedandnotoverdone)anddepth.Thetotalpackage.

Aproduct,includinganidea,isonlyvaluabletotheaudiencewhichrelatesto,values,desiresandappreciatesit.WhichmeansthatnotonlydowegetthePresidentwedeserve,butwegeteverythingelsewedeserveaswell.

TonyRobbinssaysthatwegetwhatwetolerate.

Inmybook,TheLawsandSecretsofSuccess(andinmylife — ifitispossible— I’vebeentoomuchvalueandtoolittlepromotion,sohereisthepromotionpiece:)

“Very,veryhighlyrecommendthisUNIQUEbook,itisthebestbookregardinghowtobesuccessfulthatIhaveeverread.”-DaisyS.,HallOfFameAmazonReviewerandTop10AmazonReviewer

“Thepowerofhisintuitionsisinfectious.” — GradyHarp,TOP50AMAZONHALLOFFAMEREVIEWER

“Thisisoneofthosebookswhereyouwillwanttounderlinesomethingimportantoneachpage.” — RebeccaofAmazon,TOP100AMAZONHALLOFFAMEREVIEWER

Iwroteinpart:“CompetitionandtheMarketplaceofIdeasTheworldisacompetitionofideas.Morepowerfulideas(suchasacarfortransportation)tendtoreplacelesspowerfulideas(suchashorseandbuggy).

Or,todate,capitalismovercommunism.Almostbydefinition,thesuccessfulpossessbetter(i.e.moresuccessful)ideas.

Ithasbeensaid(andI’mparaphrasing)“thatwhenevertwopeopleengageindialogueingoodfaith,theonewhoismorecertainwillwindupinfluencingtheonewhoislesscertain”.

Thinkofthepowerandimplicationsofthatprinciple.”Sothereisalotofmeritintheworld.Don’tcomplainthatothersgotaheadofyoubyflashalone.Butrememberthefamousadvertisingmaximaswell,“Don’tSellTheSteak,SelltheSizzle”.Sonowyouknow.Andforthoseonlylookingatthepictures(youknowwhoyouare,the99%):

“Sometimesdoingnothingisthemostriskythingofall.”

Ineverthoughtofmyselfasafearfulperson,butwhenIlookattheresultsofmylife,maybeIam.Nowdon’tgetmewrong,Ihaveagoodlife.ButIwishI’ddonemore.

Takenmorechances.GonemorefanaticallyafterthethingsIreallywanted.Inlifethereareerrorsofcommissionanderrorsofomission.Someerrorsofcommissionaresobadthattheycan’tbeundone.Butmany,probablythevastmajority,can.

Theysaythattimeismorevaluablethanmoneybecausetimecanbereplacedwhilemoneycan’t.NowthatI’veturned50,Iaskmyselfeveryday,“isthiswhatIreallywanttobedoingtoday?”

I’veheardthataboutthemostproductivequestionthatonecanaskoneselfis,“WhatisthemostproductiveuseofmytimeRIGHTNOW?”

“Fortunefavorsthebold….butrailsagainstthereckless.”

ThehigherI’vegoneinlife(andI’mnotsayingit’sthathigh)thebolderpeopleIhaveencountered.Successfulpeopleareconfident,andconfidentpeopletakeintelligentrisks.Theycallittrialanderror.Thereisnolearningwithoutmakingmistakes.

Theysay“failfast”.Ofcourseinlifethereisaveryfinelinebetweenboldandreckless.SomeoftheboldthingsIhaveseenverysuccessfulpeopledoIwouldneverdomyself,becausetheypassovertherealmofimmoralstraightintotheareaofpotentiallyillegal.Now,mostsuccessfulpeoplearehonest,andsomearecautiousaswell.

Butmostareverybold.Recklessnessisjustself-defeatingbehavior.Lifeisverygoodatsortingoutthatfinelinebetweenboldandreckless.

Sobecarefulwhichsideofthelineyousteporlivein.

“Powerisalwaystaken,nevergiven.”

Thisisaninterestingone.

Althoughlove,cooperationandcompassionexist,lifebeatseveryweaknessoutofone(andIamnotsayingthattheseareweaknesses)ifwewishtobesuccessful.

Lifeiscompetitive.And,Ibelieve,oftenhierarchical.Althoughtheultimatebattleisalwayswithourselvesandneverwithothers,othersserveasamirrorofwhatweholdourselvestobe.

TonyRobbinssaysthatwegetwhatwetolerate.

I’veneverwantedtohavepoweroverothers,butI’veneverwantedthemtohavepoweroverme(whichleadstothenextsayingbelow).

PerhapsthatiswhyIhavebeenanIndependent,ratherthanaDemocrat(whichIwaslongago)oraRepublican:)

“Eatlunchorbelunch.”

Inonesenselifeishypercompetitive,butinanothersenseweareeachtravellinginourownlanes.Weeachhaveourownsoul,whichfundamentallyguidestheexperienceswhichwehaveinthislife.Idon’tbelievethatlifeisazerosumgame.Itcanbeifweapproachitinamindsetoflimitedthinking,whichwearegenerallypronetodo.

Butwealsoliveinauniverseofabundance.Thereisplentyforme,andplentyforyoutoo.

“100%ofnothingisstillnothing.”

Begenerous.Iusedtoprotectthingsnotworthprotecting.Noone(orveryfew)evenwantedwhatIwasprotecting.Iwasalegendinmyownmind.

Howmanyofuscreatewallswhichlockusinratherthankeepingothersout?Interdependenceisthespiritualsource.Don’tbedependentonothersanddon’tletthembedependentuponyou.

Butloveeachotherandassisteachothereveryday.

“Nothingventurednothinggained.”

WhenIwenttoBatesCollege(beforeItransferredtoUMaine)myDadlaudedmeforsigninguptoreadapoemduringfreshmanorientationduringtheveryfirstday.

WhatwasIthinking?It’sgoodtodoafewnewthingsinlife,toexpandone’shorizons.Lifeisshort.Whynotexperienceasmuchaswecan?

“Growordie.”

MyDadalsolikedthisone.Hisversionwas,“ifyou’renotgoingforwardsinlifethenyouaregoingbackwards.”

Theysaythatthegiftoftime(anditisagift)isthatitfostersbothprioritiesandappreciation.SinceI’veturned50I’veprobablycutdownby75%caringwhatothersthinkaboutwhatIdo(notinanantisocialwayatall,andnotthatIwoulddothingsanywaythatpeoplewouldgenerallydisapproveof).

Lifeisscarybutbeautifulatthesametime.There’ssomuchjuiceinlife,butthereisalsopain.Thefamoussong,“Ihopeyoudance”issotrue.

LeadersExplainedLeadersExplained

Youknowthatsoftwareiseatingtheworld.ButMarcAndreessen — duetotheemergenceoftheprominenceofAI — isexpandinghisthesis.Softwareisnownotonlyeatingtheworld,i.e.disruptingindustryafterindustry,itisalsostartingtoprogramtheworldaswell.Butwhatdoesthismean?AccordingtoAndreessen,andthismakesalotofsense,withAIandotheremergingtechnologiessuchastheIOT(InternetofThings)itisbecomingincreasinglypossibletomakechangesacrossanentireglobalplatformofconnecteddevices.

Wanttoprogramforallcarsacrosstheglobe?You’llbeabletoeventuallydothat — allcarswillbeincommunicationwitheachotheracrosstheInternetandvirtuallyeveryphysicalitemintheworldwillcontainanembeddedchip.

Thephysicalandthedigitalworldwillbemuchmoredifficulttodistinguish.

TheselastpartsmayormaynotbetoogeneralizedaconceptualizationappliedtoAndreessen’sactualwords.I’msurethatMarcwellunderstandstheinterplayandtensionbetweenproprietyandshared.Considerthis:WhatisthenotionofacompanyinanAIfuture?HowisTeslaseparatefromGM?Isthisultimatelyaregulatoryissueoramarketplacedrivenissue?

Itisalreadybecomingincreasinglydifficulttodefineeachmajortechcompanyascomparedtotheothers,astheyeachincreasinglyplayineachother’sspaces:mobile,hardware,social,cloud,etc.Theremaycomeapointwherethenotionofdistinctcompaniesbecomepasse.

Thehunterandgatheringeconomyworkedgreatforalongtimeuntilitwassupplantedbyagriculture.Agricultureastheprimaryeconomicmodelworkedgreatuntilitwaseventuallyovertakenbyindustry.Industrywasphenomenal(andweallknow,actuallyinfacttobemosthonest,thateacheconomicmodelhasbothstrengthsandweaknesses)untilitwaspassedbytheInformationage.Alreadypeoplearetalkingaboutapost-knowledgeeconomy.

HowAITransformsandPossiblyConsumesAllThatCameBeforeIt

Let’stakethisastepfurther.WhenAIisrulingtheplanet,inwhateverformthattakes,howmuchwillitcareaboutindividualcompanies?Whatwouldbethevaluepropositionthere?Willitcareaboutindividualnations?

TheIndustrialAgegaverise,forthefirsttimeinhumanhistory,totheriseoflargecities.Isallsocietalframeworkafunctionofeconomicactivity?AndwillalleconomicactivitybecontrolledbyAI?

We’realreadytalkingaboutapost-workworldbroughtaboutsomedaybyAI.Ifthereare,potentially,nojobssomeday,andnocompanies,andnocountries,whatwouldbeleft?

Wouldtherestillbepeople?Ifyes,whatwouldtheydo?Wouldtheybethemachinesorbedistinctfromthem?Wouldtheybemotivatedbyefficiency,leisureorart(orsomecombinationofthese)?Wouldwecolonizethestars?

Whatthe — — — —wouldwedo(ifwestillexist)?

VCandAI

AngelListisaformofAI.SoisYCombinatorandTechstars.SoisAndreessenHorowitz.

Toexististofunction,andtofunctionistoknow.Businessmodelsareideas.Ideasarehypotheses.Conditionsgiverisetopossibilities,whichovertimebecomeoutcomesleadingtofurtherpossibilities.TheUniverseisexpandingandincreasingitsrateofexpansion,butalsohastheopposingforceofgravity.

Venturecapitalexistsforprofit,butwhatdoesprofitlooklike,andisitnecessary,inafutureAIworld?

Capitalismwonoutoversocialismbecausecapitalismincentivizesperformanceandworkoftheindividual,whichaggregates.Moneyisabigpartofthis.ButwhatistheneedformoneyandindividualincentiveinafutureAIworld?

Butletusnotgetaheadofourselves.MoneyandindividualincentiveandVCareveryrealtoday,soletusexaminewhatisgoingon.

MarcAndreessenexplainsthatcomputingpowerisbecomingcommoditizedtothepointofbecomingalmostfree.ThisisthesecondcomputinglevelofMoore’slawhenotes.Inthefirstlevelcomputingpowerkeptbecomingmorepowerful.Inthissecondleveltheabsolutecomputingpowerperunitis(reasonably)constantbutcostreplacesspeedastheacceleratingvariable,resultinginessentiallyubiquitouscomputingduetothedrivetowardsfree.

Quiteaworldwearecreatingforourselveshere.

YouwouldthinkGooglewouldhaveamajorAIadvantagebakedintoitsbusinessmodel,anditdoes.Searchisadatascientistandmachinelearningprofessional’sdream.

What’snottolove?Yourentirecore(search)businessisdata.

GoogleSearchhasdataonaperhapsunprecedentedscale,becauseofthevolumeofitsusersandthevolumeofsearches.Thescaleofdataisthecritical(oratleastacritical)factorforsuccessfulAIinregardstothesuccessofmachinelearningalgorithmsandprocesses.Searchbyitsnatureisalgorithmic,whichisatthecoreofAI.Googlesearchdataforanyindividualisgainedovertime,allowingmachinelearningtogaingreaterinsight(perhapsnotthebestwordforanon-sentientprocess,butyouunderstandwhatImean)intohoweachpersonlearnsandevolvesintheirsearchbehavior,fromwhichwecaninferthinkingpatterns.GreaterpersonalizationisjustoneofthebenefitsofthisinregardstoadvantageswithAI.

AIiscommoditizingSearch.Siri,Alexa,Cortana,evenIBMWatson,thesewillbecomelikedifferentelectricitycompanies,orperhapslikedifferentformsofelectricity(gas,naturalgas,wind,solar,etc.).Justasjobsloweronthevaluechainareoutsourced,VCwillhavetomoveupthevaluepropositionchain.VC’swillnotfundcompanies,noreveneventuallytechnologies,theywillfundplatforms.

ConsiderSaudiArabia’srecent$3.5billioninvestmentinUber.IsSaudiArabiaacountry,oraretheyemergingasaglobalinvestmentfund?ThecapitalmarketscontinuetogrowinGDPpercentage,risingtoalevelofdominance.Weusedtomakethings,nowwetradethemdigitallyandarbitrage.Everycompany,asisfamouslysaid,isatechnologycompany,whichmeansthateverycompanycanbecommoditized.

IthinkthatFacebookhasamuchclearersenseofintentthanGoogledoes.Howmanysearchesdoesatypicalindividualdoatonetime,andhowmanysearchresultsdoesthatpersonclickon?Ascomparedtohowmanyitemsanindividualreadsand/orclicksonintheirFacebooknewsfeed,chats,messages,Instagrampostsetc.

Facebookjustseemstohavealotmoredatapointsperuser.AndFacebookofcoursehassocial.Weliveinasocialworldandaresocialbeings.Thisisacriticalcomponenttounderstandingone’sintentandbehavior.

Algorithmsareintent.Theyarepurposeful.MarcAndreessen’sbrainisanalgorithm.ItdrivesA16z.JimGoetzisanalgorithm.AsisChrisSacca,etc.

JustasGoogle,Facebook,Amazon,MicrosoftandevenUberincreasinglycompeteinthesamespaces,sodotheAndreeessen’s,Goetz’andSacca’softheVCworld.Wecallthatconvergence.SowhatistheAndreessenalgorithmiccompetitivelongtermadvantage?IsitmarketplacedrivenorisitAndreessendriven?CanyouseparateouttheAndreessenalgorithmapartfromthemarketplace?DoesitexistoutsideofthecombinationofMosaic/Netscape,Internet,A16z,AI,etc.?

AmazonisbetterpositionedforAItheneitherGoogleorFacebook,aspowerfulasthatthoughtmightbe.Amazondominatesproductsearch.ItobviouslydominatesEcommerce.Itdoesn’thavethedegreeofsocialsignalsasFacebook,butwithitsrecommendationengine,PrimeentertainmentofferingsandAlexa — whichispotentiallythegamechangerforAmazonrelativetoAI — etc.Amazonisloaded.

It’slikeaMLBteaminwhicheverybatterinthelineupbats.350ayearwith40HR.Somecompaniesexcelinafewimportantareasintech.Amazonexcelsinallofthem.Don’tagree?TrytoquicklythinkofonemajorareaoftechinwhichAmazondoesn’tcompetewell.

Mobiledevicesyousay?Thatistruetoadegree,butAmazonisalreadyanestablishedhardwareplayer,andalsohardware/mediaplayer,andthey’llbegettingbackalsointophones.

Virtualrealityyousay.AlthoughtheyarenotintoitnowasfarasIknow,theyhavefoundationalpillarssuchthattheycouldbuildit.Samewithautonomouscars.IfApplecanbuildanautonomouscar,socanAmazoniftheychoose.

Ifitbecomesnecessaryordesired.

Ireallycan’tthinkofmuchAmazoncouldn’tdo(maybenotmicroprocessors,butmaybeyes,theyhavethecloudcomputingresourcestofigurethatout).

AmazonisthemergerofAndreessen,GoetzandSaccatogether.ThrowninwithAngelList,YCombinator,etc.Amazonwasnewtocloudbutitisdominating.AlexawasnewtoAIbutitisalreadystartingtooutperform.AmazonwasnewtoEcommercewhenitstartedandnowitis,inmindshareataminimum,Ecommerce.Oralargepartofit.

AndreessenisAmazonVC.He’sreinventedit.Hewasnotherefirst,butheismakingitbetterandincreasingitsvalue.Raisingthebarfortheentireindustry.

Ofthefour:Google,Facebook,AmazonandUber,UberhasthebestchanceofdisruptingAI.

Thismightsurpriseyou.

Duetothelawofacceleratingreturns,therateofchangeisitselfincreasing.Oneresultofthisisthatcompaniescanbecomebiggerandmoredominantinlesstimethaneverbefore.

Thinkforamomentabouttheimplicationsofthat.JustassomesaythatMcDonald’sisarealestatecompanymasqueradingasafastfoodcompany(agoodpartofthevalueofMcDonald’sisduetoitsrealestateholdings),UberisanAIcompany(somemightinsteadsayalogisticscompany)masqueradingasatransportationcompany.

Thescaleofwhatthisnewcompanycandoisunparalleled.Autonomouscars(notyetprovenbutalmostassumedthatitwillwork).Check.Ondemandeconomyinallaspects(e.g.food),notjusttransportation.Check.

Ifyouhavetheintelligenceyoucanbuildanything.Iftheywantedtomarshaltheirresources,UbercouldbuildacompetitiveGoogleorFacebookclone.

Whynot?WhatcoreunderlyingskillsetdoeseitherGoogleorFacebookhavethatUber,ifitchose,couldnotdevelop?

IfyouthoughtApplecombinedsoftwareandhardwareforanendtoendcompleteuserexperience,youhaven’tseenanythingyet.Uberisanintelligencecompanythatexistsinthephysicalworld.Thisishuge.IsFacebookaphysicalpresence?IsGoogle?Amazonisabitmore,astheysellandshipproducts,andmayopenmorestores.ThinkaboutwhatcombiningthephysicalanddigitalworldmeanswhentheInternetofThingsreachesitspotential.OrVR.AndyouthoughtPokemonGowasbig.

Uber(ormoretothepointwhatUberrepresents,Uberisleadingbutawinnerinthisfieldisnotyettotallyclear)isthepostVCworld.ItistheBorg.Itassimilateseverythingintoitratherthanaccommodates.

Uberdoesn’tcarewhoyouare.YouareUber.TheAndreessenalgorithmisUber.TheYCombinatoralgorithmisUber.Uberisthefirstprinciple.MaybethatiswhatthewordUbermostfundamentallymeans.VCisnomore.ThereisonlyUber.

ThereisonlyAI.

Youmayhaveheardoftheexpression,“Followyourbliss”.

Lifecanhavequiteabitoftension.Perhapsasmuchasweallow.Certainly,evensurvivalcansometimesbeastruggle.Butsomeofthatstrugglecomesfromholdingon.

Whenweholdtotheviewthatlifemusttakeacertainpathoracertaindirection,wecaneasilybecometense.Lifeisbig,andwearesmall,and,unfortunately,we’renotsalmonwhocanbecontinuallyswimmingupstream.

Ouremotionsarekey.Wediscussedinthenotionofthelawofattractionthatouremotions,positiveemotions,throughthelawofattractionbringallgoodthingsintoourlives.Emotionsareenergythatmanifestresults.Whenwearejoyful,hopeful,calmandhappy,we’reattractinggoodthingsintoourlife.

“Followyourbliss”,tomeanyway,doesn’tmeanonlydothethingsthatyoulove,althoughtherecanbeanelementofthattobesure.Itgoesdeeper.Tome,it

means,atevenamoreintrinsiclevel,loveeverythingthatyoudo.Findawaytoloveeverythingyoudo.Asmuchasyoucanifnotcompletely.Ifyoucan’tloveit,nomatterhowmuchyoutry,questionwhetheritisreallysomethingthatisreallyworthdoing,andsomethinginyourbestinterest.

Thismaysoundalittleradical.Enjoyyourlife?Allthetime?I’lladmitit.ThisisnothowIhavealwayslivedmyownlife.Notbyalongshot.

Wethinkwecanonlygetaddictedtoalcohol,orcigarettes,orfood,orsex.Butwecanalsobeemotionaljunkies.Addictedtostress.Addictedtodrama.Addictedtodepression.

Thereisafamousexpressionthatapersoncanbe(andinfactwillbe)prettymuchashappyorasunhappyastheydecidetheywishtobe.Happinessisnotsomethingthrustuponusfromtheoutside.Happinessissomethingthatwecreatefromtheinside.

Bychoice.Inthisvein,happinessisn’tsomuchafeelingasitisadecision.

Nothappybecause…Buthappyregardless.Thisisnotaneasywaytolive.

Wetalkedabouthowsuccessfulpeopletakeresponsibilityfortheirlives.Thisincludesnotonlybehaviors,but“innerbehaviors”aswellsuchasthoughts,attitudesandemotions.Thereisafamoussayingthat“Asaman(orwoman)thinketh,soheis”.

“Or,sowithin,sowithout”.

Ourthoughtsandouractionsarecritical,becausetheyare,soonerorlater,impetusestoouractions.Andassuchtheydriveourlives.Ifwehave,forexample,thoughtsofperseveranceinthefaceofobstaclesthisleadstomuchdifferentdecisionsandactionsthanifwehavefeelingsofvictimizationandblame.Ifwehavefeelingsoffullnessandgenerosityandlove,theseinducemarkedlydifferentdecisionsandbehaviorsthanhatred,jealousyandlack.

Perhapsthatiswhyitisfamouslysaidthat“forgivenessisthegiftthatwegiveourselves”andthat“theonlywaytokeepanotherinaditchistoremainthereoneself”.Asweexaminethisareaindepth,itbecomesallthemoreclearthatweareinabattlenotwithothers,whichoftenseemstobethecase,asmuchasinonewithourselves.Whattypeofidentitywillwechooseforourselves.Oneemanatingoutoffullnessandlove.Oroneemanatingoutoflack.

Theideaof“perfectmoments”,tome,impliesthenotionallisrightwiththeworld,rightasitis,hereandnow.

Shakespearefamouslysaidthatthereisnogoodorbadbutonlythinkingmakesitso.

WhileIwouldnotgosofarastoslipintocompleterelativism,Idobelieveinobjectivestandards — the10commandmentscometomind— Idothinkatanemotionalandthusexperientiallevel,andhowthisplaysoutintermsoftheexperiencesofourlives,thatinterpretationsandmindsetsplayacriticalrole.So,whatare“perfectmoments”,andhowdotheyrelatetosuccess?

Ouregomindconditionsustoworry.Scantheenvironmentforthreatssothatwesurvive.InNeanderthaldaysthesewerephysicalthreats.Animalswholiterallywantedtoeatusforlunch.Lawofthejungle.Survivalofthefittest.Todaythesebattlesarerelational,andpsychological.Willpeopleacceptus,andmeetourneeds,orwilltheyrejectus?Thatiswhyrejectioncanhurtsobadly,andfeel,morethanalittle,likedeath.

Thisstateofworry,oftenconstantworry,pairedwithcontrol(planning,guiding,scheming,etc.)isreferredtobymanyterms.One,areligiousterm,maybe“actsoftheflesh”.Wekeepourselvesalivebyourownefforts.Hence,ifwewanttoeat,wemustwork(trustfundsandgenerousfamilymembersnotwithstanding).Wecansitaroundalldaythinkingpleasinglawofattractingthoughts,butthisisn’tnecessarilygoingtoputbreadonourtable.

Soweneedtomaketheeffort.Butmakingtheeffort,beingactive,isnotthesame,inandofitself,asstrugglingandstraining.Wecanworkhardoutoffear,butwecanalsoworkhardoutofinspirationandlove.Andloveismoresustainablethanfear.Becausefeareventuallycorrodesusfromtheinsideandwearsusdown.Youcanonlyforceyourselftodosomethingyoudon’twanttodoforsolong.Likethedieterwho,inamomentofweaknessbecausethepersonhasbeencontinuallydenyingoneself,binges.

Opposedtothenotionofstruggle,orworksoftheflesh,is“grace”.Or“anointing”.Or“blessing”.Or“love”.

Wehaveachoice.Wecanseetheworldasstruggleanddogeatdog — IbettergrabmineandallthatIcan.OrwecanseetheUniverseasmorefriendlyandloving,andhavingaplaceforusall.

Letmeexplain.

EvenintheBible,andI’mparaphrasingbecauseIhaven’tlookeduptheexactverse(s)andI’mnotaBibleexpertorscholar,itindicates,Ibelieve,thatGodlooksaftereachcreatureandbladeofglass,andthattheygrowandfulfilltheirfunctionwithoutstruggleortoil.Thisisverysignificant.Thereisaforceinus,andoutsideofus(asitisaccessibletousbutlargerthanusaswell)whichcanguideus.Youcancallitintuition.Youcancallitgrace.Weeachhaveasenseofwhatwecando.Whatwearecapableofdoing.Andwhatweshoulddo.Itissaidthatthisisa“stillsmallvoice”and,assuch,relativelyeasytoignore.

Whenwearescared,orangry,oranyofanumberofothernegativeemotionalstates,wearedistancedfromthisinnerguidance.Thisinnerwisdomifyouwill.

Howdoweknowthatitisawisdom?Thisisalittledifficulttodescribe.Wehavealldonewhatwethoughtwasrightatonetime,andlatercometoregretit,foronereasonoranother.Despitethis,thereissomethinginsideofusthatisbothlikeacalculatorandemotionalGPS(thefamouschanneledentityAbrahamHicksreferstothisasanEmotionalGuidanceSystem).Let’slookatthesetwoaspects(andtheremaywellbemore)oneatatime.

TheCalculatoraspect.Thereissomethinginsideofusthatweighs,measuresandsortsalloftheinformationthatwehave,muchofwhichattimesmaybesubconsciousorevenunconscious,andorganizesitforusinawaysuchthatwecanmakethebestjudgmentsforourlives.

Prettyneat.

Thisisclearlywellbeyondthesolefunctioningoftheconsciousmind.Organizationissomehowgiventous(orperhapsweareorganizingbelowconsciousness,Iamnotsure).We’veallheardtheexerciseoftakingapieceofpaper,drawingalinedownthecenterandlistingalloftheplusesononesideandminusesontheother.

Thisislikethat,butonsteroids.Thereisthiscalculatorability,orcallitacomputerabilityifyouwish,thatallowsustoprocessalloftheinformationavailabletous,eventhatwhichwearenotconsciouslyawareof,andintegrateandpersonalizeitinawaythatleadsnotonlytosolutionsbutpersonalwisdom.

Nottoobad.

EmotionalGPS — Ouremotionsarealifeguide.Idon’tknowifthatiswhattheyaretherefor,butitisasignificantpurposethattheyserve.We’remeanttobejoyful.Iknowthatmaysoundcrazyinaworldthatcanseemhighlystressfulorharsh,butallgoodthingsflowtous,allsuccess,whenwearehappyandloving.

Whyshouldn’titbeso?

Perhapsthatispartofthemeaningbehindthesaying“therichgetricherandthepoorgetpoorer”.

Ouremotionsareaguidetowhatwemaybebringingourway.Ifwe’retenseanduptight,thatisnotagoodsign.

It’simportantatthispointtodifferentiateagainbetweeneffortandstruggle.Thisaworldofbirthing.Wecan’tjustthinkaboutwhatwewantandhaveitbeso(ifwecouldwe’dallsithomeorlieinbedallday)butweneedtowalkitoutintheworld.Sodon’tthinkinordertobesuccessfulthatyouneednotworkhard.Ofcourseyoumust.Butworkingharddoesn’tmeanthatoneneedstobestressedoralloutofwhack.Ifyouarefollowingyourbliss,anddoingwhatyoulove,thenworkandplaycomemuchclosertogether.

Ifyoudon’tlovewhatyoudo,thenmaybeyoushouldeithertryhardertoloveit,orlikeitsubstantiallyataminimum,or,ifthisprovestoodifficult,tradeitinforanotherlineofworkthatyoucanfeelreallygoodabout.Positiveemotionsarehealth.Theyarewealth.Theyareallthingsthatflowoutofasenseoffullness.

Sopayattentiontowhatyouremotions,youremotionalguidancesystem,istellingyou.Ifyoucanalwaysmoveinthedirectionoffeelingbetterandbetter,thanyou’reontherightpath.Nowpositiveemotionsisnotnecessarilythesamethingaspleasure.Notbyalongshot.Sometimeswecanfeelgoodaboutsomethingevenwhenitisuncomfortableordifficult.Perhaps,forexample,becauseweenjoythechallengeandseeitasapositive,orperhapsalsobecausewefeelstrongly

thatitistherightthingforus,partofourcallingyoumightsay,andwhatweweremeanttodo.

Effort,withlove,feelsgood.Strugglefeelsbad.

I’msureyoucaneasilyseethatdifference.Ifyou’restrugglingandstruggling,takeamomentorlongerifyouwishtotakeastepbackandexaminewhatyouaregoingthrough.Lifecertainlyhastrials,anddifficultonesatthat,butitisamazinghowmanypeoplecanweathereventhemostdifficulttrial,andnotinagonybutwithacceptanceifnotlove,ifweascribeitthetypeofmeaningthatfitsintowhatweloveorarewillingtodo.Somemightcallthatfaith,somesacrifice,someacceptance,somelove.

So,backto“perfectmoments”.Thesuccessfulhavelearnedtobesuccessful,innosmallpart,bygettingthemostoutof“now”.AsEckhartTolledetailed,thereisimmensepowerinthenow.Whenyouthinkaboutit,thenowis,inthemostrealsense,allthatthereeverreallyis.Whateverhappenedtoyouinthepast,whenithappeneditwasthenow,thepresent.Whatishappeningtoyounow,isofcourse,now,andwhatwillhappentoyouinthefutureis,whenitdoeshappensomeday,alsointhenow.

Bydefinitionyoucan’teverLIVEoutsidethepresentmoment.Howcouldyou?Youcanimaginethefuture.Butyouareimaginingitnow,wheneverthatimaginingoccurs.Youcanrememberthepast,butyouarerememberingitnow,wheneverthatrememberingoccurs.Lifecanbeseenasperfectatperhapsanytime.I’mnotsayingitiseasy,byanymeans,butmoreandmoreoften,itiswhatsuccessfulpeople,havelearnedwelltodo.

SomepeoplethinkI’mjustjealous.Whatdoyouthink??

(Thishappennedafewyearsago)

AlexHammer@AIHammer13minutesago@VaynerMedia@garyveehadhislawyersendmealetter,aftermonthsofpleasantinteractionwithhimandprovided

valuetohim,because

AlexHammer@AIHammer13minutesago@VaynerMedia@garyveeIcalledhimathomebecause@vaynermediawebsitehttp://vaynermedia.com/contactdoesnotlistphonenumber(&stilldoesn’t)

AlexHammer@AIHammer12minutesago@VaynerMedia@garyveeWhoistheNextSteveJobs(It’sNOTWhoYouThink)?Withoutfurtherado,Ibringyoutheanswertoyourquestion,“WhoistheNextSteveJobs”?medium.com

Excerpt:(note,writtenin2015)“TheNextSteveJobsis…GaryVaynerchuk.Thisisgoingtotakealittlebitofexplaining.Vay-ner-chukoverZuckerberg?OverBezos?OverMusk?Youbetcha.

STUDYTHISMANFORSUCCESS

Thereisnobodyintech,andnobodyintheworld,likeGaryVaynerchuck.Whileweareeachuniqueandoneofakindinthisworld,GarybringsthegameinawaythatnooneelsesinceSteveJobshasdone.Garywon’tbecolonizingMarsforhumanityasMuskisworkingon,whichiswhyMuskisaclosesecond.ButGaryisadisruptoramongdisruptorswhoisonlystartingtohithisstride.

WhatdoImeanbythat?Ok,sohehas550socialmediaemployeesinacompanyonlyafewyearsold.Notbad.Heisprobablythe#1socialmediaauthorityandfigureinalloftech,andthatissayingsomething.Ok,I’mlistening.Garyisplayingtheworldlikeitis2015inaseaofwannabeswhoarepartyinglikeitis1999.Garyissofaraheadoftherestoftheworld,thatthelawofacceleratingreturnscouldpropelhimbeyondZuckerberg,BezosandevenMusk.Allofthesegreatleadersseethefutureandarecreatingit.ButGaryisbroader.Garyisdeeper.YouhavetostudythemantofullyappreciatewhatImean.Asyouknow,thefutureisalreadyhere,itisjustnotevenlydistributed.

GaryVaynerchukisthenextSteveJobs.

Youjustdon’tknowityet.”

AlexHammer@AIHammer12minutesago@VaynerMedia@garyveeImagebelow

Ok,IalsodidaparodyvideoofGary,butGaryknowsinhisheartthatIhavehelpedhimoutsubstantiallyovertime(forfree,consistentlypayingitforward)

(it’sprobablyobvious,butthelanguageintheparodyvideoisaparodyofGary’slanguageandstyle).

ThroughIncentivesThroughIncentives

SHOWMETHEMONEY!!KevinCostnerfamouslysaidin“FieldofDreams”thatifyoubuildittheywillcome.

Onlyinthemovies,ofcourse,isthatguaranteedtobethecase.Mobilesites,appsandsocialnetworkswhicharesuccessfulobsessivelyfocusontheuserexperience.

Aswellastheyshould.Butanawesomeorganicuserexperienceisonlyonesideofthecoin(oftwo)inattractingusers.Youhavetogivethemmore.

Let’slookintothis,whythisisthecaseandwhatthatmorecanbe.

Googlegivesyourelevantsearchresults,Facebookprovidessocialconnectionsandexperiences,Amazonempowerstheshoppingexperience.Asaresultoftheseuserexperiences,eachhasprospered.

CompetitorstrytooutGoogleGoogle,outFacebookFacebookandoutAmazonAmazon.Duetoswitchingcostsbroughtonbynetworkeffects,unseatingthe800poundgorillainthiswayisvirtuallyimpossible.Notonlydoyouhavetobebetter,butyouhavetobebetterbyafactorofmanytimes.Whichhasprovenimpossible,whichiswhytheInternetrichkeepgettingricher.

Organicuserexperienceislikefreeinternetmarketing,whileincentivesarelikepaidFacebookorGoogleads.

Ithasbeenfamouslysaidthatifyoudon’tliketherulesonthetable,turnoverthetable.StoptryingtooutGoogleGoogleandoutFacebookFacebook.Instead,findaSearchdifferentiatorofvaluethatGoogledoesn’thaveorcan’tcompetewith.AsocialnetworkdifferentiatorwhichFacebookdoesn’thaveorcan’tcompetewith.Ofcourseyou’llstillhavetobehighlycompetentinthecoreservicetocompete,BUT,ifthedifferentiatorisperceivedbyusersasvaluableenough,youhaveachanceofunseatingtheincumbent.

IncentivesAreOneSuchDifferentiatorYoumarriedyourspousebecauseyoulovethepersontheyare — thisisthecoreserviceofaFacebook,GoogleorAmazon.Butyoualsomarriedthembecausetheyareattractive,agoodprovider,goodinbed,helpfularoundthehouse,anamazingkisserorgiverofbackrubs,agoodparent,andmanyotherSPECIFICthingswhichyouvalue.

Nowyouarestartingtounderstandincentives.Lovemaybeunconditionaltoapoint,butwhenthebackrubsandkissesstarttobewithheld,andthegoodparentturnsintoabadone,whenthesoberspouseturnsintoanalcoholic,switchingcosts,thatisdivorcecourt,increasesinprobability.

Ifwecantradein(ortradeup)spousesforamoredesiredsetoffeatures,wecandothiswithsocialnetworksandsearchenginesaswell.Here’sthebottomline.WecancrytillthecowscomehomethatMelaniaTrumpshouldhavemarriedusinsteadbecauseofourorganic(personality)characteristics,orwecanbecomeexpertsinincentivesinstead(orinadditionto,rather).

IIncentives1.Cash

Menandwomendon’tmarryonlyformoney(althoughsomedo),althoughitdoesn’thurt.

Awhilebacktherewasasearchenginewhichpaidyouforeverysearch.Itdidn’tcatchon,butoneeventuallywill.GoogleandFacebookmaketheirmoney(handoverfist)fromyourandotherscontent.Youarevaluabletothemandtheyshouldbepayingyouforyouusingtheirservice.

Duetonetworkeffects,everyuserwholeaveslessensthevalueoftheservice.

Whyshouldn’tyoubepaid,orhavetheopportunitytoshopfreeforproductsthemoreyouuse(andorbringspecificvalueto)theservice?

2.Gamification

Successfulgamesareaddictive,andincentivesaregenerallyanimportantpartofthis.Rewardscanbepsychic,virtual,status,financialandofothertypes.

Manymobile,appandsocialnetworkpropertieshaveattemptedtousegamingprinciples,butwithlimitedoverallsuccess.DiggandSlackwereandaretwocompanies,respectively,thatIbelievehaveeffectivelyusedtheseprinciples,butthesurfacehasnotevenbeenscratched.

Ifattentionistoday’smostvaluablecurrency(andGaryVaynerchukhasownedthisconcept),ithastobeearned.Andgamingisonewaypotentiallystrongwaytodothis.

3.Virality

YouTubestarsandsuccessfulInternetmarketersareexpertsinvirality.Bydefinition,somecontentismorepotentiallyviralthanothers,butserviceswhichfacilitateviralsuccesshavealegupinsecuringusers.Widgets,embeds,affiliatenetworks,keyinfluencers — thingsofthesetypeofhavebeenusedwithvaryingsuccesstotrytocreatevirality.Wehaveyettoseethepropertieswhichhavemasteredvirality,andwhentheyarisetheywillcaptureapowerfulformofincentive.

4.Youtellme.

Thelistoftypesofincentivesthatcanbeusedislongindeed.Whichonesdoyouthinkcouldbethebest,andwhy?

Impatienceisnotaqualityofthesuccessful.

Whenwetrytoohardonthings — toforceaspecificthingthroughormakethingsworkwithaspecificperson — thiscanbereceivedasanactofdesperationandisasaresult,surprisesurprise,notgenerallywellreceived.

We’veallfeltthatenergywhensomeoneistryingtopushtheirideasonus,theirproductonus,theirperspectivesonus.

Eventheirloveonus.Wepullawayinstinctively.I’vediscussedhowsuccessisafunctionofvalue.Valueisdeterminedbytherecipient,bythemarketplace,includingthecustomer,notbythegiver.

ImaythinkthatIhavesomethingofgreatvalue,butifIhavenotakers,orashortageoftakers,thenifIamhonestwithmyselfthenIneedtostartre-examining,orre-evaluating,thevaluepropositionofwhatIamputtingoutthere.

Unsuccessfulpeopletendtodojusttheopposite.Ratherthanbeingopentothefeedbackofthemarketplaceandotherpeopletomakechanges— thisisasignofconfidencethatthesuccessfulemploy — theunsuccessfulwhentheyseethattheirproductsorideasarebeingrejectedbeardownharder.Doubledown.Theyputpressureonpeopletobuyortoaccepttheirideas.Theystartcastingblame.Thecustomerisstupid.Herewehaveputoutaclearlysuperiorproductandonlyanidiotofacustomerwouldnotrecognizeit.

No,customersarenotstupid.Notbyalongshot.Theywanttosolvetheirproblemsandwhentheyseeaproductthatwilldoitbetterthanwhattheyareusingorexistsinthemarketplacetheywilluseit(yes,itistruethattherearebarrierstoentry,butthereisalsotheexpressionthat“buildabettermousetrapandtheworldwillbeatapathtoyourdoor”.).You’veheardtheexpression,“thecustomerisalwaysright”.Thisistrue.Thisdoesn’tmean,asIinterpretit,thatthecustomerknowseverything.Farfromit.Butitdoesmeanthatthecustomerisinchargeoftheirlifeandtheirbuyingexperiences.Theywanttoberespected.Theydon’twanttobebullied.Theydon’twanttobetalkeddownto.Theydon’twanttobejudged.

Asisalsosaid,“Moneytalks,BSwalks”.Asthecustomerisspendingmoneyonyourproduct(ornot)thatputshimorherincharge.

Neverforgetit.

Nowthatdoesnotmeanthateducationdoesnotsometimes,evenoften,needtooccur.Thereisasalesbuyingcycleandgenerallyconsumerswillnotbuyaproductthefirsttimethattheyareexposedtoit.Theyneedtogetusedtoitandcomfortableovertime.

Thesameprincipleexistsinhumanrelationships.Inemploymentwecallitaprobationaryperiod.Inromanticrelationshipswecallitdating,orcourting.

It’stheperiodwhenthingsareunderconsiderationbeforeafirmdecisionhasbeenmade.

Changescanalwaysbemade.Alongmarriedcouplemaydivorce.Alongtimeemployeemayquitorbefired.Butatthebeginning,thingsaremoretouchandgo.Lessisinvested,solessislostfromwalkingaway.

Lessismoremeansthatyouhavetogivethepersonspace,freedomanddistancetomeetyouorengagewithyou–shouldtheychoosetodoso — halfway.Ifyou’rehoveringoverthemtheycan’tconsideryourmessage,oryourproduct,becausethemessengerisinterferingandbringingoutthedesiretohaveit

repelled.Oneofthebasicrulesactorslearnis“leavethemwantingmore”.Endyourperformancewhiletheaudienceisstillenraptured,thereisstillabitofmysteryandtheyareclamoringformore.

Don’twearoutyourwelcomebybecomingtoofamiliarandtooobvious.

Successfulcouplesrealizethisbygivingeachotherspace,someseparation,anddevelopingtheirownseparate(whichisdifferentthanhidden)abilitiesandlivessothatwhentheycometogetheritremainsconstantlyfreshandthereisalwayssomethingnewtoshare.Ifyourpartnerisalwaysgrowing,alwayslearning,thenitisexcitingbecauseyouarealwaysstimulatedbythepersoninanewway.Bycontrast,ifthepersonisn’tgrowing,isn’tdeveloping,itisthesameoldstory(sameoldsadstoryyoumightsay)overandoveragain.Youstarttofeelasifyou’relivinginastoryofabrokenrecord.Arut.Thesamethingoverandoveragain.

Thisiswhenrelationshipsstarttogrowstale.Nowofcoursecouplesdifferinthedegreeofgrowth,separationanddistancewhichisoptimalandcomfortablefortheirrelationship.Forsomeitmaybeaboysorgirlsnightoutatacertaininterval,andforsomecouples,evensomewhoaremarried,itislivingondifferentcoasts!

Weallhavedifferentintimacyneeds,andacornerstonerelationshipcompatibilityiswhentheseintimacyneedsmatchup.Unfortunately,thisisnotalwaysthecase.Whenrelativelymaturepeoplecometogether,theyhaveresolvedalotofthebasicintimacyissues,andthusthereisagreaterprobabilitythattheintimacyissuesthatariseintherelationshipwillbeabletobesuccessfullynavigatedbythecouple.Bycontrast,thosewithgreaterunresolvedintimacyissues,maydrawapartnertothemselves,oftensubconsciouslyorunconsciously,whowilltriggertheseunresolvedissuesinanattempttolearnhowtobetterfaceandresolvethem.Thatiswhenwestarttalkingabout“fatherfigures”or“motherfigures”orrelivingthepastthroughanotherperson.

Thisiswhydynamic-orientedschoolsofpsychology(onlyonebranchofmany)traceissuesincurrentrelationshipsbacktochildhoodandfamilyissues,etc.Inthisview,wedevelopbehavioralstyles,orpersonalitiesifyouwill,baseduponearlyexperienceswhichshapeourlaterreactions.Sowebecomedefensive(or

“histrionic”),withdrawn(or“passiveaggressive”)orangry(“borderline”)tonamebutafew.

Theworldismadeofenergyandfromthisdevelopthepushesandpullsofrelationships.Wefeeldrawntosomeone,orrepelled.

Orboth.

It’sdifficultenoughwhenwefeelbothatdifferingtimes.Whenwefeelbothatthesametimethatisarealquandary!(inPsychologytheycallthatanapproach-avoidancedilemma,orinlayman’sterms,“damnedifyoudoanddamnedifyoudon’t”)

It’salsoreferredtoasadoublebind(or,again,inlayman’sterms,“you’rescrewed”).Yougetthegeneralidea.LessisLess

Ok,sothatislessismore.Butthisiswhatlessismoreisnot.Lessismoreisnotbeinglazy,nortakingshortcuts.Apercentageofthepeoplewhothinkthattheyareworkingsmartasopposedtoworkinghard,are,inpointoffact,notworkingatall.Ornotworkinghardenoughtoreallymatter.Workingsmartiscritical,andattimescanevenbemoreimportantthanworkinghard.Thatisifyouhadtochoose.Whichyoudon’t.Nomatterhowsmartyouwork,howareyoudoingtocompeteagainstsomeonewhoisworkingsmartANDworkinghard,ifyouarejustworkingsmart?

Doesn’tsoundsosmartafterallnow,doesit?

Lessismorealsodoesn’tmeanalackofinnovationandjustcopyingwhatothercompaniesaredoingiswhatworks.Ofcoursethereareexceptions.Microsoft,Dellandmanyothercompanieshavefamouslywaiteduntiltechnologieswerematurebeforetheyimplementedthemasofferings,withanewspin,tomakemassiveamountsofmoney.Thiscanbeasoundprinciple,asoftentheinventorofabreakthroughtechnologyis,sadlyenough,nottheonewhomostprofitsfromit.Butwhenthiscopyingofothersoccurswithaspin,thespinitselfhastobeaninnovativeexpressionofvaluetowork.GoingbacktoDell,theydidn’tinventthecomputerstheyweresellingbuttheydidinvent,ormoreaccuratelyperfect,thedirectsellingmodelofthemwhichmadethemrich.Andthepersonalizationwhichtiedintotheirsuccess.GettingbacktoMicrosoft.Yes,Windowswasbaseduponacquiredtechnology,butitwaspackagedinawaythatwasconsumerfriendlyandmoreavailabletothemassesthanithadbeenbefore.LessismoreisalsonotIamalwaysgoingtokeepyouatanemotionaldistancesothatyoudon’tknowifIreallycareaboutyouandasaresultyouwillalwayshavetoproveyourselftometowinmylove.Thisworksbetteronlowerself-esteemindividuals,whoalreadybelievethattheyhavesomethingtoprove.Butforthosewithagood(buthealthy)senseofthemselves,yesagoodchallengemaybeaturn-onwhichgetsthejuicesflowing,butifthereisalackofreciprocationthanthisquicklygetsoldforapersonwithself-esteem.Suchanindividualrespectsoneselfandunderstandsone’svalue.Sotheyarenotgoingtosettleforless.

Lessismoreisnot,Iamgoingtotakeshortcutsorcheatmywaytothetop.Theworld,andotherpeople,are,onewillquicklyfindout,muchtoosophisticatedthanthat.Lifemaynotbe100%fairatalltimes,butthecreamdoestendtorisetothetop.In“TheLawsandSecretsofSuccess”weexaminedthat“talentmaytakeonetothetop,butonlycharacterkeepsonethere”.Thosewithbadcharacter,nomattertheirleveloftalent,tendtoinvariablywaylaythemselvesalongtheway.Itispracticallyinevitable,andreferredtoasatragicflaw.Characterisdestiny,aswediscussed.Thosewithlesstalentcanmakeupforitthroughperseverance,honesty,goodrelationships,reputationandthelike.Becauseofthelawofkarma,whenweseektoshortchangeothersweinvariablywindupshortchangingourselves,becausethatistheenergyweareputtingoutthere.Weattractotherswhowishtoshortchangeus,andrepelthosewhoarehonestandexpectafairdeal(andwouldgladlypayforthesame).

Inshort,wecansaythatthosewhoworktooutsmartothers,learnovertime,iftheygettiredofbeingbeatenbylifeoverthehead,thesemethodsmerelyleadtooutsmartingoneself.Lessisnotmoreinthiscircumstance.Lessisless.

Creativecommonsphoto

TheFutureofTechnologyistheRelationshipBetweenSelfdrivingcars,SnapchatandEcommerce.

Researchindicatesthat40%oftheFortune500ontheS&P500maynolongerexistin10years.OfCourse-TheFutureisAlreadyHere,It’sJustNotEvenlyDistributed

ThismorningImadethefollowinglistofthetenthings(includingpeople)Ihadlearnedthemostfrominthelast3monthsaboutthefutureoftechnology:

Uber

Uber,Snapchat,Ecommerce,TimFerriss,Self-drivingcars,GaryVaynerchuk,Ecommerce,The2106PresidentialElection,Medium.com,Tesla,andAirbnb.

SnapchatIdidn’tatfirstseeacommonthreadbetweenmanyofthem,soIthoughtaboutitalittlemore.AndthenIthoughtaboutitalotmore.

OneimportantthingwehavelearnedfromFANG(Facebook,Amazon,NetflixandGoogle)isthateveryoneimportantisineveryoneelse’sspace,soif10thingsmadethemostinsightandimpactthentheymusthaveimportantoverlappingqualities.

FromGaryVaynerchuckIlearnedthattheoverridingandoverlappingfactor-infactthecurrencyofourlives-isattention,theattentiongraph.Ifyoudon’tbreakthroughtoattentionnothingelsematters.So,whyhadthese10factorsabovecapturedmyattentionthemost?

Andthenithitme.Hard.ThePaceandDirectionofGrowth.Or,ifyouwish,theLawofAcceleratingReturns

Speed,babyThiswilltakejustalittlebittoexplain.40%oftheFortune500ontheS&Pbeinggonein10yearsmakesalotmoresensewhenweconsider:

Uberinfiveyearswentfrom0toavaluationofover$50billion.Snapchat,athreeyearoldcompany,hashadavaluationofatleast$16billion.Airbnb,asevenyearoldcompanyisworthover$20billion.WhatsApp,Instagram.Thelistgoesonandon.Thepointisthatbreakoutcompaniescan(anddo)getbiggermuchfasterthaneverbefore.Andthelawofacceleratingreturnspredictsthatthisisonlygoingtogrowexponentially.Athreeyearoldcompanyworthmorethan$100billion?Wemayonlybeafewshortyearsaway.Whichtotallyreworksthe“buildversusbuy”equationgoingforwardinregardstowhocanandcan’taffordtobuywhom.

Zuckerbergwasquestionedbyhislegendaryinvestors(BreyerandThiel)whenheturneddowna$1acquisitionofferfromYahoo!in2006.

Snapchatmadeheadlineswhenitturneddown$3billionfromFacebookin2013.Doyouunderstandthelevelofconnectionsintheworldandinyourownworld?

IbecameawareoftheimportanceofSnapchatthroughGaryVaynerchuk,whomaybethemostimportantpersonalivetodayinTech.

TounderstandwhereUberisgoingyouhavetostudythecompany’srelationshiptoTelsa,Chinaandself-drivingcars.

AndAirbnb-alongwithUber-isridingthefirstwaveofthecollaborativesharingeconomy-afirstwavewhichisonlytheveryverybeginning.

Ascompaniesgrowbiggermorequickly,investorscangrowrichermorequicklyaswell.Uber,forexample,isabreakoutinvestmentsuccessforJasonCalacanis.Histakefromthesingleinvestment:inthe$100millionrangesofar(ifthatisthecorrectnumber)fromwhatIhear.

Uber,Airbnb,Snapchat,Self-drivingcars,Telsa(andalotmore),willinthefutureonlyincreasinglygreatlyrelyonthefutureofEcommerce,which,unbeknownsttomost,isripeforradicaldisruptionasitleveragesthetransitionfromapushtoapulltechnology.GlobalEcommerce,alreadya$1.5trillionannualmarket(growing20%annually)willevolve,guidedbyAI,inthefuturesuchthattheproductsthatyouwantorneedtobuyWILLFINDYOU(oftenbeforeyouevenknewthatyouwantedorneededthem).

Intheverysimplestterms:

Ecommerceismarredbyhighcustomeracquisitioncostsbecauseitispushtechnology,meaningthatyouhavetogooutandfind(andthenalsoretain)yourcustomers.AsEcommerce-stillinitsinfancy-continuestotransitionintoapulltechnology,whereyourcustomersfindyouratherthanyouhavingtofindthem,thencustomeracquisitioncostsflatten.

Wecallthis“smartecommerce”,anditisagamechangerinregardstohoweverythingwillbedoneintechnologyinthefuture.Branding

Uberisnotjustanotherride.Snapchatisnotjustanotherapp.TimFerrissisnotjustanotherinterviewerandauthor.GaryVaynerchuckisnotjustanothersocialmediaexpert.

Doyouwantaself-drivingcarordoyouwantaTesla?HowaboutanUber?AChevyBolt?WhatdoJackDorsey,Medium.comandChrisSaccahaveincommon?

It’snotwhoyouknow,it’swhothoseyouknowknow,andwhatthosepeopleknow.ThenetworkeffectISthemarket.ItisyousocialIQ.Itisthebestpredictorofyoursuccess,andassuchitisyourcreditscore,yourabilitytogethiredinanyjob,yourabilitytosecureamate,etc.

Theworldistechnology,anditismovingattherateofacceleratingreturns.So,whatistherelationshipbetweenself-drivingcars,SnapchatandEcommerce?Youtellme.

ThePsychologicalFactorsBehindElonMusk’sGreatSuccess

WhatarethepsychologicalfactorswhichdriveElonMusk’ssuccess?

1.PsychologicalStrength.

Admitit,Elonlookslikeaphysicalweaklingwhowouldstruggletobenchpress100pounds.Butboycanthatdudetakeapunch.GaryVaynerchuksaysthatbeinganentrepreneurislikegettingrepeatedlypunchedintheface(andthatyouhavetoenjoythetasteofyourownbloodand/ortheproverbialtasteofbrokenglass).

Garycantakethatpunch,andsocanElon.

Asyouwellknow,resiliencemaywellbethemostimportantfactorinsuccessgenerally,andentrepreneurshipspecifically.We’reallgoingtogetknockeddowninlife,buthowlongdowestaydown?Howmuchdowecomplainwhenwehavegottenbackup?Howmuchofourlivesislivedlookingintherearviewmirror?

PeoplewhoknowElonthebestsaythatitishissuperhumanabilitytoabsorbandmanagestressthatsetshimapartforgreatness.Rememberbackin2008whenbothTeslaandSpaceXwereonthebrinkofcompletefailure,andhismarriagewasendingaswell?

Yourepeatedlytakeonmorethanotherstakeonifyouknowthatyoucantakeapunchbetterthanotherscantakeapunch.Elonisstillstanding.Standingtall.

2.ConfidenceBasedonCompetence

Youmayhaveheardthatsuccessbreedsconfidence.Confidenceprogressesinstagesinanindividual’slife.Muskhad$180milliontoinvestafterPaypal.

BuildingTeslahasbeeneasyright?Peoplelaughedatelectriccars.SpaceX,yeah,thatwaseasytoo.Andcomingup:goingtoMars.Anybodycoulddoit.

It’seasytothinkbig.It’sdifficulttothinkbigandexecutebig.Youhavetobegoodatwhatyoudo.Verygood.Elongetsthingsdone.Yes,he’sbeenaworkaholic.Yes,hehasalotofpeoplehelpinghim.Yes,he’sspentalotofmoney.Butthemanknowswhatheisdoing.

Imaginethis:IfIgaveyoueven$100billiondollarstodayandtoldyoutorecreateTeslaandSpaceXfromscratchcouldyoudoit?Idoubtyoucould.

(Telsaforexampleraised2.26billiontotal,and1.46billionofthatwasjustrecently).

3.Ba——s

There’sriskandthenthere’s — — — — — .Anybodycanthrowmoneyatsomething.Butyourentirefortune?Atsomethingyoufelthas90%oddstofail?

ElonMuskdoesn’thatehimself.Hedoesn’thaveaself-destructivegene(althoughcertainlyhehashugeelementsofacalculatedrisktakerandgambler).Andhedoesn’twanttobepoor.Isuspectthatinitiallyhebelievedthatthechanceofsuccesswaslow,butovertimehecametorealizethathemightpossiblysucceed.

Someonetoldmeoncethat90%ofpeoplegotothebathroomandthendie.Ithinkthatisanoverlycynicalstatement,buthowmanylivethewayMuskhaslived?

Ifriskistheflipsideofreward,Muskisplayingwithaspecialcoin.Courage?WeneedanewwordtodescribeMusk.

4.Innovation

Thisgoeswithoutsaying,butthereareatleastacoupleofaspectstothis.A.Followingyourdreams.Muskdoeswhatheloves,aspracticalorimpracticalasitmayseem.

B.Elonhasspokenabouttheprocessbywhichhebecomesanexpertandlearnsaboutareas,emanatingfromfirstprinciples.IfElonwasapersonwhowaspronetolisteningtothenaysayers,wouldhehaveevermadeitthisfar?Doesthatquestionreallyneedananswer?

Innovationofcourseinvolvesmorethandoingwhatyouareinterestedinandnotbeingdissuadedbythenaysayers.Italsoinvolvesdoingnewthings.

Check.Check.Check.

5.IntellectualRigor

Youcanbeinnovativeinbuildinganapp.Orintherestaurantsthatyouchoosetovisit.Muskisinnovativeinmattersofconsequence.Bigideasthatareamonsterofcomplexitytoexecute.Ok,sofarmostofthesefivearefairlyselfevident,sowe’llclosewithonewhichisn’t.

6.Loneliness

Muskhasdescribedhimselfasanerd,andthosewhoknewhimgrowinguphavedescribedhimasinfacthavingbeenbullied.You’veheardofthelonelinessoftheCEO.JustbyMusk’spositionhecouldbelonelytoacertaindegree.Muskisnotaloner,andhesometimesfrequentspartiesetc.Butheisanintellectual.Andanerd.(andthosearecompliments,notinsults).Hegivesinterviewsbutheissomewhatshy.Notclinicallyshy.Notshyarisingfromanylackofconfidence.Notnosenseofhumorshy.

Butshy.Allgreatindividualsfacecircumstancesatleastofstandingalone.Itcannotbeavoided.

Muskhasfollowedaninnervisionwhichonlyhecouldcompletelyunderstandandsee.Andmuchoftherestoftheworldisnowfollowingalong.

Swisher)Swisher)

PhotofromCreativeCommonsAttribution — AttributionGageSkidmore

KaraSwisherhasmorenervethanIdo,andafterwatchingGameofThrones(thelastfewyearsepisodes)Ihaveafewideaswhythatisso.AsaPS,GaryVaynerchuksaysEQismoreimportantthanIQforbusinesssuccess(truethat).It’salsotheessentialskillforstayingaliveinGameofThrones(lessonnumberone).

Andstayingaliveinthisrivetingfictionalhistoricaldramaisafeatthatmanyofthecharactersarenotabletodo.

Lifeiscompetitivetoday,butallthingsbeingequal,inmostcircumstancesyoudon’thavetoworryaboutsomeonecominguptoyouandbeheadingyou.Orkillingyouincountlessotherways.IlikehistorybutIamnotahistorian.WhileGameofThronesisfictionalitremindsonethatlifeismuchlessbrutal(andviolent)thanitoncewas.Beingraisedinmoderntimes,Ican’timaginelivinglikethat.

ButMaybeThatistheAppealIt’sdifficulttogetlessPCthanGameofThrones.Suretheyhavetheirhonorandcodesindifferentways,butcomparedtotoday,it’sanabsolutefreeforall.

Maybewe’vebecomesobuttondownedandregulatedthatpeoplefantasizeaboutamorefreewheelingstyle.IknowthroughherwritingthatKarasurelovestheshow.

AsecondlessonofGameofThronesisthatlifeisacombinationofwits,circumstancesandperhapsmorethanalittleluck.WholivesandwhodiesinGameofThrones,whorisesandwhofalls,iseverchangingandextremelydifficulttopredict.Youhaveasmallnumberofleadingcharacterswhosesuccess,ultimately,issomewhatstableandpredictable,butbeyondthat…

Andthoseselectfewareheroes.GameofThronesisashowofheroworship.Whenlifeissobleak,somebodystrongneedstoleadtheway.IthinkthatthisisanotherbigpartoftheappealofGameofThrones.It’slikesportsforDungeonsandDragonsenthusiasts(notthatIknowmuchaboutDungeonsandDragons,soImaybeoffhere).

Whodoyoulike?

I’mnotgoingtogointonamesofspecificcharacters,becauseI’mnotgoodatmanyoftheirnames,andIdon’thavethetimenowtolookalotofthemup.

Butthethreesmartestwhocomeimmediatelytomind,arethedwarfwhobecomesadvisortothequeen,thequeenherself,andtheguywhowaskilledandbroughtbacktolife.Allthreeofthemhaveflaws(Ithinkthequeenperhapsleastamongthem),insomecasesprominentlyso,butallthreehavealsoanobilityandsenseofdestinyaboutthem.

Thegirlwhoturnsintoanassassin(originallyoutofdesperation)isbrilliantaswell,butbecomingmuchlesslikableasthestorycontinuestounfold.

CharacterDevelopmentImeancharacterinbothmajormeaningsoftheword.Characterinastoryandstrength(orweakness)orcharacter.

GameofThronesisaboutcharacterdevelopment.Magicalstorytellingandwellhonedindividual’sstories.Whenyougetanepicenvironmentwithsuchastutepersonaldetail(DowntonAbbeyissimilarlybrilliant,thecharacterdevelopmentinDowntonAbbeyisevenmorepronouncedevenifthesetisfarlessfantastical)itbecomes,toborrowthetriteadvertisingphrase“mustseeTV”(andthereisn’talotofthatleftanymore,tobesure).

WecareaboutGameofThronesbecausewecareaboutthecharactersintheshow.Andwe’remesmerizedbytheactionandbytheviews.

Itissaidthat“forgivenessisthegiftthatyougiveyourself”.Butisitreally?Yesitis.Althoughmanyofusdon’tbelieveit.HowdoIknowthat?Takeonelookattheworld.

FormanyyearsIlivedwithaheavierfootprint.No,notacarbonfootprint.Butalifefootprint.Ifeltaweightonme,astruggle,abattleinlife.Itseemedsohardattimeseventomakeendsmeet,muchlessthrive.

Ididn’trealizethatlifeISabattle,butabattlewithoneself.Whenothersantagonizeus,they’redoingusafavor(withinreason).They’reteachingus,ifwelearnthelesson,thatwedon’tneedtofightallthetimetogetwhatwewantinlife.Infact,thisispreciselythethingthatisholdingusback.

Whenwedon’tforgive,weseeenemies.

Fundamentallythisisbecausewefeelvulnerableinsomeway.Andrememberfeelingsarepowerfulinregardtothelawofattraction.Whenwefeelvulnerablewearevulnerable.Maybenotinthedeepestsense,inwhichlifelovesusand(Ibelieve,butcan’tproveorknowforsure)thatweareperhapsimmortal,butinourlifeexperience.

CallitKarma.CallitTheLawofAttraction.

Callit“Whatgoesaroundcomesaround”(orCallit“FrostedFlakes”ifyouwanttobeoriginal).Theprincipleisthesame.Whenweseeenemieswehaveenemies.Wecreatethem.Whenwefeelvulnerablewearevulnerable.Wecreateit.

Thisisalittlebitofasimplification,butnottoomuch.

Whenconsideringwhetherforgivenessisagiftyougiveyourself,askyourselfthisquestion?Whatistheresultoflivinginunforgiveness?Whatistheresultoflivingwithaheavyheart?Whatistheresultoflivingwithstress?Whatistheresultoflivingwithfeelingthatoneisvulnerable?Youcancomeupwithyourownanswers,Iamsure.

Theysaythatyoucannotgiveawaysomethingwhichyoualreadyare.Anotherwayofsayingthat,famously,is“Youmustbethechangethatyouseektoseeintheworld.”

YOUARETHATCHANGE.

Iputitincapsbecause,tomymind,itisthatimportant.Itmayseemalittlehokey,perhapsalongthelinesof“mindovermatter”or“faithcanmovemountains” — andyoumaybeskepticalbecausewhenisthelasttimethatyousawamountainbeingmoved— butwearecreatingourrealities,atleasttosomedegree.Becauseothersarealsocreatingtheirs,wehavesomelimitations,somesolidlimitations,intermsofwhatwemaybeinfluenceinthepublicspace(weeachhaveasphereofinfluence),butyoudohaveamajoreffectonyourownlife(andtoalesserextentonthelivesofothersaswell).

We’renotpassiveagents.No.Wearecreators.So,thatisagreatpowerthatweneedtolearntoharnesswell.

AnotherfamoussayingIlikeis,“Whereveryougo,thereyouare”.Tomethatisagentleremindertotrytobeatpeacewithoneself(Ialsolikethesimilarlymindedsaying“growwhereyouareplanted”).

Ifyoubelieveinperfecttiming,andperfectmoments(asIdo),andevenperfectresults(perhapsalittlebitmoreboldonthatone),thenyouknowasisalsofamouslysaidthat“Goddoesn’tmakemistakes”or(asEinsteinsaid,“Goddoesn’tplaydicewiththeUniverse”).

Ifwearewhereweshouldbe,learning(oratleastwiththeopportunitytolearn)whatweshouldlearn,thatwhydoesitallseemsodifficult?Gladyouasked(andit’saquestionweallask,Ihaveaskeditmanymanytimes).ThebestanswertothatquestionthatIhavebeenabletocomeupwithisthat,toacertainmeasure,lifeisoftenaseasyordifficultaswemake.Therearecertainobjectivethingsintheworld.Thisincludesplentyofchallengestobesure.Butwhenwestruggleagainstthem.Whenwefearthem.Whenwehatethem.Thenthingscanreachapointofseemingalmostunmanageable.

IsaidearlierthatIbelievethatashumanbeingswecangenerally,forthemostpartatleast,beaboutashappyorunhappyaswemakeupourmindstobe.It’sachoice.Itseemsmoredifficultbecausewehaveputalotofconditionsonlife.Becausewehaveputalotofconditionsonourselves.Itwillnotthensurpriseyoutohear,followingfromthislogic,thatitisdifficultforustoforgiveothersbecauseitisdifficultforustoforgiveourselves.Remember,theouterworldisanexpressionormirroroftheinner,anditis,asnotedimpossibletogiveawaysomethingwhichwedonotalreadyhave.

Imagineifwewereatpeacewithourselves.Howwouldwerelatetoothersifwedidn’tfeelthatweneededsomethingfromthem?I’mnotsayingthatthisistheidealstate,orevenpossible,Iamjustaskingthequestion.Lovecomesfromaplaceoffullness.Unforgiveness,includinggrudgesandbadfeelings,comesfromaplaceofvulnerabilityorlack.

ButIalsowishtotakealookattheotherside(oranotherside,atleast)becauseIamnotadvocatingthatweshouldalwaysbeforgivingangelsonehundredpercent.Rememberwhenwerecentlydiscussedmanagingupandmanagingdown.Accountability,theflipsideperhapsofforgiveness,isinvolvedinthisprocess.Whenwemanageupordown(orsideways)weareutilizingaccountability.Ournotionofaccountabilityanyway.Wemaycallitfairness.Justiceisanotionofaccountability,expressedinits(Ibelieve)watered-downbutstillvaluablerubricoflaws(entitledthecriminalJUSTICEsystem).Lawsdonotalwayshavejustice,butthatistheideal.Thatiswhatweareafter(orshouldbeafter).Accountabilityisgoodbecauseitisalearningtool.Ifwedidsomethingwrongandwewerenotcorrected,howwouldweknownottodothatwrongthingagain.Wecanlearnfromourownexperience,andalsothroughtheexperienceofothers(observationallearning).Sometimeswedon’tforgivebecausewearefocused

onaccountabilityandfairness.Butsometimeswedon’tforgivebecausewearejustpetty.Orjealous.Orsmall.

Howcanweseparateoutthetwo?

Discernment.In“TheLawsandSecretsofSuccess”thenexttothefinalchapterwasentitled“TheWisdomtoKnowtheDifference”.

Discernmentisthisability(alongwithcharacterwhichplaysabigrole).Sometimesaccountabilityisaccountability,andsometimesitisunforgiveness.Thisisnotsomuchanobjectiveevaluationofcourse,asmuchasitisoftendependentupontheplayersatplay,andtheirmotivations,needsanddrivesetc.Butweshouldn’tbetoohardonourselvesregardless.Whoamongushasn’tengagedinabitofunforgivenessattimes?(sometimeswithanicespinofaccountabilitythrowninforgoodmeasure).

PerhapsthisiswhytheBibleremindsus(“judgenotlestyebejudged”).Weneedtomakejudgmentsinourlivesofcourse.Butperhapsthisisverydifferentthanbeingjudgmental.Perhapsjudgmentsleadtoaccountability,butjudgmentalness(ifthatisaword)leadstounforgiveness.

Soundsgoodtome.

Discernmentiscriticaltocharacter.Ifwecan’tdifferentiatebetweenwhenwearepracticingaccountabilityandwhenwearepracticingunforgiveness,thenthisisastumblingblockforus.Ourfeelingscanbeaguide.Atsomelevelitfeelsgoodwhenweworktomaketheworldinsomewaybemorefair(aswedefineit).Thisisanimportantandcriticalpartoflife.Butitfeelsbadwhenweseektopunishsomeone,forexample,totrymakethemfeelbad,outofourownweaknesses.

Althoughitmaybetemptingtotry,wecan’treallyfeelbetteratanother’sexpense.We’reallrelated,andtheenergyoflifeislikeaboomerang,whatweputoutiswhatweultimatelyreceive.

ForgivenessISthegiftyougiveyourself.Ifyou’resmartandsuccessfulyouwillhavealreadyrealizedthatbynow.

LegislatoraC***suckerLegislatoraC***sucker

Fortunefavorsthebold.Therisk-takers.Butitpenalizesthereckless.PaulLePagerepresentsthebestandworstofMaine.Andhimself.SomeofyouaremadatmealreadyforwhatIsaid:thebestofMaine?

PaulLePageisambitious.Heisdetermined.Heisnotafraidtofacepublicpressure.Hebelievesinhisheart(Ibelieve)thatheisworkingtobuildabetterandstrongerMaine.

Theseareadmirablequalities.

PaulLePageisaBully

Andonewhoispronetoself-loathing.He’sneverforgivenhimselfforhisimpoverishedbackground.Andthishaslefttheproverbialchiponhisshoulderandafiftycentpieceinhispocketasaneternalreminder.Andangerinhisheart.

LessonsClosetoHome

IknowaboutthisbecauseIhaveexperiencedsimilarfeelings,andIthusrecognizethispattern.UntilafewyearsagoIhadasignificantamountofangerinmyheart.Sometimesitwouldcomeoutinsayingnastythingstoothers,buttherootwasdeeper.

Ifeltinadequate,andafailure.IfeltthatIhadfailedtoreachmyloftyambitions,andwasadisappointmenttomyself.Virtuallyallangercanbetracedtolackofself-acceptance,andwhentheangerisintense,toself-loathingtosomedegree.

We’reallblindtoourfaultstoacertaindegree,andIwasblindtomine.ItwaseasiertoblameothersthantorecognizeandadmittomyselfthatIwasdisappointedinmyself.

JustinAlfondhassaidthattheGovernorhaslostcontrolofhimself(andshouldresign).Justinisagoodhearted,superintelligentandcapableindividual,butonewhowishestobeGovernorhimself,andisjealousofGovernorLePage’slackofinhibition(aswellashisposition)asAlfondisveryhighlyscriptedhimself.

Thereyougo,nowIamamindreader.

EmilyCain

Someofourleadersaresupercableandsuperintelligent,buttheycannotarticulateconvincinglyhowtheyarestrongerthantheiropponents.BrucePoliquinwhenhedefeatedEmilywasnotsmarter.Hedidnothavebettersolutions.Buthewasmoreconfident.Andhewasmoreassertiveindeliveringhispoints.Emily,likeJustinAlfond,wantedtobeveryPC.Sometimesourelitepoliticalfiguresarehugelycourageous,buttheystillfoldwhenthetablesturn.SometimestheyrepeatedlypraisetheState’scitizensforthecitizen’svirtues,inanattempttopsychicallytradeforalackofscrutiny.

WeHaveMettheEnemy

You’veheardthefamoussaying,“wehavemettheenemy,anditisus”.

Theysaythatwegetthegovernmentwhichwedeserve,butIwouldtweakthatalittlebittosaythatwegetthegovernmentwhichweallow.

We’retoonicecollectivelyasMainers.Wesaythatwearebeingcompassionate,orcourteous,butwearebeingwalkedon.Wetoomuchacceptourlotinlife,andmayevenprideourselvesinourcollectivestoicism.Ourpatienceisnotunlimited,ofcourse,butweputupwiththisGovernor’sactionswhichotherstateswouldnot.Webelievethatweareembodyinga“liveandletlivephilosophy”,butlikeIhatedmyselfatsomelevelandtookitoutonothers,wearen’tcollectivelyrespectingourselvesandarelettingotherstakeitoutonus.

Fortunefavorsthebold.Butitpenalizesthereckless.LePagehasbeenemboldenedthatheisstillinofficeafterallhiscraziness.Ibelieveinsecondandthirdandfourthchangesinlife.Butthehearthastochange.Wehavetooutgrowthepersonwhoweoncewere.

Inolongerfeelangerinmyheart.Ifeelsadness.SadnessthatIwassohardonmyself,andsometimessohardonothers.Butthesadnessisstartingtofade.IdidthebestIcould.SohaveallMainers.

IncludingGovernorLePage.

TheBibletalksabout“fromglorytoglory”.

Alloflifeismeanttobeholy.Butittakesaheroicconsciousnessandsensibilitytogetthere.Whatgetsinourway?Anger.Jealousy.Depression.Greed.Yougettheidea.

Wecan’tbesuccessfulunlessweareheroic,andwecan’tbeheroicunlesswearefollowingourbliss.Letmeexplain.Youknowalreadythatliferequiresyourverybest.Constantly.Thatis,ifyouwantanykindofqualityoflifeatall.Therearesomanytalentedandhardworkingpeopleoutthere,thatifyougiveintonegativeemotionsandhabitssuchaslaziness,pettiness,resentment,anger,jealousyandthelike,howwillyoupossiblyhopetocompeteagainstthosewhoareworkinghardwithoutusingthosenegativeemotions?Itisheroictobeabletoworkhardconstantlyandatthesametimeputawayallofthesenegativeemotions.Sometimesweusethesenegativeemotionsasmotivationtodriveustoworkhard.

“I’llshowthem”kindofthing.

Atadeeplevel,weareafraidthatifweputawaythesenegativeemotions,we’llhavenorealdeepseatedreasontoconstantlyworkhard.Ifwe’recontent,ifwe’rehappy,whywouldwewanttoworkhardtodoanything?

It’skindofaparadox.Tobesuccessfulwehavetobeperfectlycontentedfromoneperspective,butwantingmorefromanother.Followingone’sblissisnotagivingup,resignation,sittingbackandbeingpassiveandjustenjoyinglifebybeingpassivekindofthing.

Aucontraire.Followone’sbliss,tomeanyway,isnotalackofawarenessofdifficulties,butbeingable(andbeingwillingis,Ibelieve,amajorcomponentofbeingable)tosubjugateone’sfeelingsoflackanddeficiencytothetaskathand.

Thisisknownasmaturity.Ordiscipline.Thefirstlevelofthis,noeasytaskatall(infactextremelydifficultandheroic)istobeabletodowhatweknowweneedtodoevenwhenwedon’tfeellikedoingit,justbecauseweknowitisgoodforus.Suchasbeingareliableandproductiveemployee,husbandorwife,andparent.

Peopleareheroeswhocandothosethingsconsistently,becausenooneeverfeelsuptothetaskoftentimes.Everyday,sometimesmoreandsometimesless,thereisanurgetojustpackitallin,curlupinaball,andcry.

Admitit,you’vebeentheretoo.

Smallthingscanhelpalot.Itisheroicwhenweresistthecurlupinaballsensation,andweshouldverballyrewardourselves(orintangibleproductiveways)whenweareabletodoso–evenifitisjustasmallimprovementoverourusuallevelofperformance.

Weeachofcourseareaworkinprogress,andthatiswherecompassioncomesintoplay.Firstcompassionwithyourself.Becauseasissaid,youmaynotbewhereyouwanttobe,butthankgoodnessyouarenotwhereyouusedtobe.Andthencompassionwithyourself.Asyoustarttogetyourarmsaroundyouowndifficultiesremainingconstructiveatalltimes,itiseasiertofindmorecompassionalsoforothers.Notthatyoujustletpeopledowhatevertheywantastheyrelatetoyou,thatwouldn’tbegoodforthemorforyou,butyouletdownthejudgeandthejudgmentalnessalittlebit,andrealizethatwe’reeachstruggling,essentially,withthissamething.

Thesecondstep,afteronehaslearnedwellhowtoconsistentlydowhatoneknowsoneshouldorneedstodo,whetheronefeelslikeitornot,istobeabletodothiswithasenseoftruejoy,asopposedtowithasenseofresignationifnotdespair.Sometimeswecangritourteethanddowhatweneedto,butthisisonlygoingtogetussofar.Grittingone’steethisdifficult.Onegetstiredofdoingthisafterawhile.Itisnotsustainableoverthelongterm.

Butifwecanlovetodowhatweneedtodo…

Beforeyouthinkaboutsmackingmeuponthesideoftheheadbecauseyouknowthatitisindeedimpossibleforyourself,andpossiblyanyhumanbeing,todothis,andespeciallydothisconsistentlyallofthetime,letmequalifythingsalittlebit.Step1washard.Itisheroic.Step2isprettymuchevenbeyondheroic.Formanyofusitmayseemfranklyimpossible.Anditmayormaynotbe.HowcouldI,oranyone,possiblyfeeljoydoingallthethingsthatIneedtodo,eventhethingsIhatedoing?Let’sstartoffbysayingthatthisisastandardthatwecanascribeto.Weshouldn’tbeatourselvesupifwearenotreachingstep1orstep2,becausethatsetsusbackfromthebeginning.Astheysay,“charitybeginsathome”.Here’sthething,sometimesthingsaremoredifficultbecauseofthepressurethatweputonourselves.Oftenthiscantaketheformofaninnerthoughtorbeliefthat“I’llonlybehappyif…)(ormorescarily,“I’llonlysurviveif…).

Ican’tprovethis,butIbelievethatlifehasaplaceandaguidingconcernforeachofthis,andthatwithinthatasweincreasinglydoourpart,insortofapartnershipmodel,thatlifewillincreasinglyfillinsomeofthegapsofthingsthatarenecessarybutdifficultforustodo.

Ibelievethatalotofthishastodowithattitude,andaccompanyingemotion.Haveyouevernoticedthatyoujustcan’tcontrolyourtemper,oryourjealousy,etc.,butthenwhen,throughtheseemotions,you’veplacedyourselfattheprecipiceoflosingsomethingveryimportanttoyourself,youareabletopullbackandstopdoingthenegativethingsthatgotyouthere,totrytosavethethingthatyouvalue.Oftenwecandomoreorbetterthanwenormallydo,ifwefeel,forwhateverreasonorcircumstance,thatwehaveto.Likethestories,intheextreme,ofpeoplewhohaveliftedseveralthousandpoundcarstosavepeople’slives.Youcancallitadrenaline,youcancallitmotivation.

Forittobelasting,Icallitaqualitydecision.

Oftenwemakedecisionsbuttheyarenotqualitydecisions.Wecommittosomething,orwethinkwedo,butthenwhenthehardchallengescomeupwebackdown.AqualitydecisionisalmostadecisionthatIdon’tcarealmostwhathappensinthisworld,IamfollowingthroughonwhatIsetouttodo.Thosearerelativelyrare,butthesetypeofdecisionswindupchangingtheworld.Andpersonalrelationships.

Maybeyoumadeaqualitydecisionthatyouweregoingtoloveyourchild,oryourspouse,despiteallofthechallenges.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatyoumaynotstillwindupindivorcecourtofestrangementalongerwaydowntheroad,butitmeansthatitwillbemuchmoredifficulttogetthere,andyouhaveamuchgreaterchanceofnotgettingthere.Notbecauseyou’remiserablebutacceptingit,butbecauseyou’veputinandareputtinginthehardworktosolveproblemsandkeeptherelationshipbetter.AbitearlierIsaidthattooptimizeoursuccessweneedtobecontentedandnotcontentedatthesametime.AlittlemoreonhowIbelievethatthiscanwork.Weareenergy.Energymoves.Althoughwealsoneedrestandsleep,wegrowrestlessandboredifwedon’talsohaveenoughactivityandstimulationinourlives.Thereisanaturalurge,anaturalmotivationtogrow.Infacteverythinginlifegrowsordies.AsissaidintheBible,thegrassdoesnottoiltogrow.NottocontradicttheBible,butIthinkthatinsomesenseeventhegrasstoils,inthateverythingthatisalivehaschallenges.Therearechallengestothegrasssurvivingandtherearechallengestoussurviving.Intheanimalkingdom,andintheplantkingdomaswell,onecanseethatalllivingthingsseemtobeprogrammedwithaurge,somemightevencallitawill,tosurvive.Nothinginlifedieseasily.Ofcourse,thestrongertheorganismis,themoreitcandobattle.Buteverythingwantstosurvive.Itseemstobeinherenttolife.

Followingone’sblissperhapsstartsoutaswilltosurvive.Weeachwanttogrowmore,domore,bemore.Somecallthisthe“willtopower”,andIthinkitcanbecomethatwhenweseektodominateandthelifeforceisnotalsobalancedwitharespect,evenareverenceforalllifeforms.Itisdifficulttobewellbalancedinthisway.Someindividualsarehighlyonthedominantside,andseektoimposetheirwillonothers.Othersarehighlyonthemeekside,andconsistentlycomeoutontheshortendbyplacingtheirownneedssecond,orlast.Butfollowingone’sblisscan,andshouldextendbeyondjustwilltosurvive.Ashumanswehaveextendedthegrowthofthepartofthebrainthatappreciatesculture,art,music,storytelling,etc.Andthenthere’slove.Loveistheregenerativeprinciple.Followone’sblissatthislevelessentiallymeans,tome,followone’snature.

One’shighernature.Whenwehaveasenseofpurposeandmeaning,wecanendurealmostanychallengesometimesitseems.Justlookatallofthetypesofdifficultandhorrificthingswhichhumanshave,anddo,endure.Buttherehastobeacontextforoursufferingandourpain.Wehavetoframeitforourselvesinawaysuchthatwehavethewilltoendureit,andpersevere.Thisis,orcanbe,adeepermeaningoffollowingone’sbliss.Beyondjustsurvivalthereisasenseofmeaninginone’slife,ifonecancontinuallyfosterandfindit,itissomethingwhichneedstobeoftenrenewed,thathelpstobringasweetnesstolife.Andsweetnessnotintheabsenceofchallengeorstrugglebutwithinit.

Thisisnosmallmiracleatallwhenyoustoptothinkaboutit.Lifeissweetbecauseofthemeaningswhichweattachtoit.Weeacharenostalgicforourownlives,andourowninnerstory.Thereissomethinginsideofuswhichallowsustoweaveatapestryofmeaningsfromtheexperiencesofourlives,givingthemrichness.

Andifweallowit,joy.

Andhere’sthething.Itisthedepthofthatjoythatweareabletocreateforourselvesthatisaverycriticalfactorinourlevelofsuccess.

Successfollowsjoy,justasnightdoesday.Ifyouarejoyfulyouwillattractthebestoutofthepeoplethatyoumeet,andthesituationsinwhichyouarein.Now,

somesituationsarenotthatgreat,sothebestmaybelessthanideal.Andsomepeoplearenotthateasy,sothebestmaybelessthangreat.Butifyou’reconstantlythroughyourjoyoptimizingtheresultsthatyougetfrompeopleandsituationswhichyouencounter,thenyoujustmightwakeuponedayandfindthatsurprisingly,somehow,yourlifetookaverybrightturn.

Sometimesthelittlethingscancarryoneforward.Thereisaspontaneityineachmoment,andineachinteraction,thatifoneisopentoitandapproachesitwithjoy,canleadtominortransformationswhich,whenaccumulated,canformthebasisofalifechange.

Sometimeswearenotsomuchlivingasweareexistingwithinourownminds.In“TheLawsandSecretsofSuccess”Idiscussedhowourrealitiescanbejustasmuchprojectionasreceiving.Wehavescriptsandstoriesthatwetellourselves,andthesestoriesaresometimesleadingourlivesratherthanus!

Thatiswhyweadmireyoungchildren.Theworldisnewthemandtheyareexperiencingit,withwonderandjoy,ratherthaninaprepackagedway.

Andweknowthatbecauseofthischildrenareoftenjoyful,untiltheyincreasinglytakeonthe“realities”andfearsoftheworld.Includingourown.

Thinkaboutfollowingyourblissandwhatitmeanstoyou.Thinkabouthowitmight — ifyoutrulyletit,transformyourlife.Andincreaseyoursuccess.

Peacetoyou.