the first 3 steps in dealing with difficult clients
DESCRIPTION
Slides accompanying my talk this evening at Business Club Lincoln exploring conventional apporaches to handling difficult clients and suggesting some additional approaches to try.TRANSCRIPT
The first three steps in dealing with difficult clients With Neil Denny, conflict leadership speaker and trainer
The first three steps in dealing with difficult clients are not ready, aim, fire.
“But conflict feels so good!”Conflict seduces us to act in ways that reward us with a short-term pay-off at the cost of our businesses’ longer term needs and interests.
It costs between 7 to 20 times more to sell to a new customer than it does to sell to an existing one.Source: http://www.camfoundation.com/PDF/Cost-of-customer-acquisition-vs-customer-retention.pdf
Being seduced by conflict is expensive. You can count the cost in no less than 5 currencies.1. Money2. Time3. Energy4. Reputation5. Opportunity
The first three steps, proper
1. Change position2. Speak up3. Stop doing that thing that you
do
Change positionDifficult clients challenge us on three levels1. Competence2. Integrity3. Being appreciated
Change position/ CompetenceAspire to do brilliant work always but give up on being perfect. That way, you can stop defending the impossible.
Change position/ Integrity “Are you calling me a liar?”Humans long to act to be seen to act in ways that are consistent with committed positions.
See Influence by Robert Cialdini
Change position/ Appreciation“Am I worthy of being loved?”
Change position/ Appreciation“And that’s the thanks I get?!”Wrong perspective – all about me. Need to shift to a “Being of service” mindset.
! ?
Make the shift from…DefensiveEvasiveDestructiveCriticisingCounter-attackingTalk about blameTelling
OpenEngaged
ConstructiveNon-critical
At restTalk about contribution
Asking
How to make the shift?Step 1. Tell me what happened.Step 2. Tell me what happened.Step 3. Let me check what you say happened.
Speak up/ Assert yourselfOnly when the other person knows they have been heard and understood will they be able to hear your version of events.
Speak up/ Assert yourself• Standing up for your own rights in such a way
that you do not violate another person’s rights• Expressing your needs, wants, opinions,
feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways
Taken from Assertiveness at work by Back and Back
Speak up/ Assert yourselfDo you know what you need in order to best serve your clients?
Do you dare to let your clients know – in ways that `Do not violate’ their rights?
Do you know who you do your best work with?
The 80/20 rule and the Red Velvet Rope
Policy (see Michael Port’s Book Yourself Solid)
Step Three.Stop doing that thing that we do
Stop labelling difficult clients
The halo effect cuts both ways.Kahnemann Thinking Fast and Slow
Stop labelling difficult clientsWhen we give labels then we make it very difficult for individuals to implement the very changes we long to see.
What if there is no such thing as a difficult client?These are the people we longed to come, so that we could serve them and make a living doing so.
What if there is no such thing as a difficult client?Clients do not want to trick us, trap us or prove us wrong…Clients want us to delight them.
There is no such thing as a difficult client…Only the disappointed ones and the ones who are wrong for us.Ready for the good news?
…They are both in your control.
Your next steps…
Give me your card and I’ll send you a link for 1. A free copy of my book
Conversational Riffs; Creating Meaning Out Of Conflict book
2. The Difficult Client Hit List3. A copy of these slides4. A complimentary invite to my
Conflict Leadership Masterclass, 11th December 2014, right here in Lincoln.
Or, grab me now or on [email protected] to discuss how conflict leadership coaching, keynotes or training can help your business to thrive.
T: 07815 727693E: [email protected]