the essentials of overcoming addictive behavior · the essentials of overcoming addictive behavior...

© Paul Chek, 20191

The Essentials Of Overcoming Addictive BehaviorPresented by Paul Chek, Holistic Health Practitioner

SPONSORED BY CHEK INSTITUTELEARNING OBJECTIVES1. Define what an addiction is2. Explore the stress-addiction connection3. Learn how love relates to addictions and healing from them4. Learn the 4 primary causes of addiction5. Explore practical holistic methods for overcoming addiction 6. Learn to create a rainbow bridge for overcoming addiction7. Learn to harness your pleasure cycle and use creativity to overcome dis-empowering

habits/addictions.

WHAT IS AN ADDICTION? An addiction can be defined as any repeated behavior that does not produces the results you want.

- Paul Chek

The inability to consciously manage yourself such that you lose your free will with regard to:

• Your behavior

• Your optimal diet

• Your ability to care for and manage yourself

• Your ability to effectively manage yourself in relationships; meeting your commitments and respon-sibilities to family, co-workers, friends, community, society, and culture.

• Your ability to maintain a state of wellbeing.

Wellbeing: Having optimal physiological and psychological function to engage the joys and challenges of life honestly, fully, and create meaning.

Addictions typically express:

• The need to acquire (safety, security, sustenance, and/or) Love

• The need to avoid people (places or things) the addict has associated with pain in their life; there is usually an emotionally charged complex involved.

• A complex is an emotionally charged neural network of associations, feelings, thoughts and associ-ated behaviors.

• Complexes can create sub-personalities with the power to act on their own; referred to as “soul loss” in Native American healing.

© Paul Chek, 20192

The Essentials Of Overcoming Addictive BehaviorPaul Chek

WHAT IS THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ADDICTION, OBESITY AND DISEASE?To understand the nature of addiction, obesity and disease, we must look first at what all people want:

• Safety and security

• Sustenance

• (Pro)creation

WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE PLEASURE? All living beings, from single cell organisms to plants and animals to humans instinctively avoid pain and move toward pleasure!

There is little appearance of chronic stress in the lives of any plant or animal that is able to effectively meet their biological and bio-social needs.

For human beings, gaining the knowledge and ability to meet our needs for safety and security, suste-nance, and (pro)creation comes by way of parental and family guidance; to the degree that those needs are met in a way that doesn‘t alienate or traumatize us, we feel LOVED!

Addictions are common coping reactions to stress

LOVE is the magic that makes us all feel safe, whole and complete.

To the degree that we were not taught how to create safety, security, sustenance, and enjoy healthy acts of procreation (creativity), we tend to feel unloved and constantly seek the ultimate form of nutrition—LOVE!

Only about 25% of us developed a “secure attachment” to our parents in early childhood. About 75% of people have an attachment challenge:

• Avoidant

• Ambivalent

• Disorganized

Ref. Healing Your Attachment Wounds, by Dianne Poole-Heller

ADDICTION: WHAT IS YOUR UNMET NEED? First and foremost, we must realize that all addictions represent unmet needs. You can’t recover from an addiction without meeting the unmet need.

Carl Jung (Psychiatrist and founder of Depth psychology) would ask someone suffering from addiction, neurosis, or disease, “What is your unmet task?”

Jung stated: “What usually has the strongest psychic effect on the child is the life which the parents have not lived.”

© Paul Chek, 20193


Rudolph Steiner (founder of Anthroposophic Medicine) taught his physicians to always look for the patient’s “secret story” whenever addressing a chronic illness (or life challenge). The secret story holds the keys to healing the unmet need(s).

The Story Gap: The greater the gap between the story you tell others and the story you tell yourself, the greater the likelihood of fatigue, illness, disease, and premature death.

WHY IS LOVE SO IMPORTANT WHEN FACING ADDICTION?LOVE IS:

The flow of energy and information through empathetic and compassionate connection to self and/or other. - Paul Chek

CONSCIOUSNESS becoming aware of itself.- Paul Chek

LOVE: Stages of awareness and their importance in healing addictions

Sex & Violence Loving = Greatest Polarity: Basic training; Child love (I).

Conditional Love: Being clear about what you want in relationships; Adolescent love (We).

Empathetic & Compassionate Loving: Contains prior stages from experience; wisdom guides how love is expressed: Adult (ALL)

THE ROOT CAUSES OF ADDICTIONIdentified by Anthropologist & Shaman Angeles Arrien, Ph.D• Intensity

• Perfectionism

• The need to know

• Focusing on what’s wrong (not working)

THE ESSENTIALS OF OVERCOMING ADDICTION Coaching yourself, and others to freedom from addiction(s) can be a complex process. The etiology of addiction can extend beyond our in-utero experiences through our genes for three or more generations.

© Paul Chek, 20194


SUCCESS Coaching Offers:

Sense of Direction

Understanding

Courage

Charity and Compassion

Esteem

Self-confidence

Self-acceptance

It is essential to avoid polarized judgments.

Avoid “ant” infections: would-ant, should-ant, did-ant; they are all based on judgments.

All judgments are expressions of unmet needs; seek to identify and nourish the unmet need(s).

Deal in wants, feelings and needs followed by specific actionable requests that are dream/goal affirma-tive.

When you have a big enough DREAM,you don’t need a crisis! - Jerry Wesch

DREAM OR NIGHTMARE?

The Pain Teacher

Negative MotivationStress often blinds us to our potential to create something new, and more meaningful in our lives.

Stress hyper-focuses people on the negative aspects of their life and life in general.

Ones “nightmare” represents where their creative life-force energy is most entangled. Helping client’s address their nightmare opens the door to creative dream-weaving experiences – start there when nec-essary!

Questioning negative thoughts/beliefs honestly often opens the door to more empowering choices.

SEEK TO SIMPLIFY THE ADDICT’S LIFE

Reduced complexity = less stress…

© Paul Chek, 20195


RESTORING SECURE ATTACHMENTMany addictions stem from the stress created by insecure attachment to parent(s).

Insecure attachment tends to attract us to others with insecure attachment, often resulting in turbulent relationship experiences that confirm our deepest childhood fears until we heal.

Addictions are generally attempts to find “safe love”….

Adult Attachment Interview

Using an adult attachment interview is very helpful for identifying events that formed our personality and disposition.

We can often see events that were “shadow generating”, and with awareness, begin healing ourselves.

Through our process, we can more easily recognize childhood challenges as the source of pain and un-consciousness in our clients and guide them effectively.

THE ROOT CAUSES OF ADDICTION - HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTLook carefully into your childhood to see each of the 4 primary causes of addiction applies to you.

Look carefully at your parent’s lives; where are you tasked with evolving your family genes, or repeating family challenges unconsciously?

The challenge holds the solution!

1. Intensity:

Relaxation and unbound play

”Being” rather than “doing”

2. Perfectionism

Please yourself for yourself and be authentic in your own unique expression.

3. The need to know

Focus on what has practical application in your life, not keeping up with intellectuals!

4. Focusing on what’s not working

Focus on “what is working” and anchor yourself in the present moment; avoid pasteurizing of futurizing yourself!

© Paul Chek, 20196


OUR GOD MODEL Upgrading our God Model (level of consciousness) is often essential to healing addictions…

Religion or dogma?

THE 1-2-3-4 CHANGE PROCESS1. Love: What is your dream?

• Archetypes• Hero’s Journey• The Transition Process

2. Forces to Balance: Where are you out of 4 Doctor balance relative to:• Baseline health• Your dream?

3. Choices: 4D Values?Question your thoughts; is it really true? Develop your “Awareness soul”

4. Doctors: • Dr. Happiness• Dr. Quiet• Dr, Diet• Dr. Movement Dream-affirmative 4D core values are essential to the change process!

THE 4 QUADRANTS OF EFFECTIVE HOLISTIC COACHING

Our “story”, our “secret story”, and our unmet task” all require awareness of all 4 quadrants in which life unfolds: • Spirit (tai-chi) manifests in all 4 quadrants (Eros ~ Agape)

• No quadrant can be separated from the others - they are each expressions of a whole.

• UL: Myth (story)/Archetypes (‘I’)

• UR: Actor, (‘I’)

• LL: Cast and crew (‘We’)

• LR: Stage, (‘It’s’)

© Paul Chek, 20197


• Stress develops in each quadrant; personal symptoms appear in the UL/UR; WE challenges in the LL and “it” challenges LR

• Imbalances in our awareness of the 4 quadrants often leads to personal and collective challenges.

Modified from: Ken Wilber’s Collected Works

INSPIRATION, STRENGTH AND PROGRESSIVE HEALING OF ADDICTION

© Paul Chek, 20198


Creating Rainbow Bridges

Teach people how to create rainbow bridges, which are commonly needed with such challenges as:

• Sugar

• Gluten-containing grains

• Alcohol

• Tobacco

• Sex/pornography

• Work

• Drugs

• Exercise, and more…

Fungal and parasite infections are common causes of addiction!

• Where am I NOW and where am I going?

• What realistic steps can I make in my rainbow transition?

• Who will support me in the change process?

• What’s in it for them (dream team win-win)?

Bridging factors that can be broken into functional increments:

1. Volume (e.g., amount of food/drink).

2. Intensity (how powerful the stimulus is)

3. Duration (how long one is exposed to a given stimuli)

4. Complexity (are more steps that require less effort needed?)

E.g. a Rainbow Bridge For Sugar Addiction

Red: White to brown sugar.

Orange: Brown to raw honey

Yellow: Pasteurized to raw juices.

Green: Packaged fruit flavorings to raw fruit

Blue: Inclusion of dried fruits instead of processed/concentrated sugars.

Indigo: Inclusion of sweet vegetables to balance sugar cravings.

Violet: Well managed awareness of how each sugar source affects you and how to choose for your unique individual needs in support of your body-mind health and your dreams.

© Paul Chek, 20199


REFERENCES AND RESOURCES1. Chek, Paul. The 1~2~3~4 of Overcoming Addiction, Obesity and Disease. (Audio, e-workbook),

CHEK Institute, 2008.

2. Chek, Paul. 4 Quadrant Coaching Program, CHEK Institute, 2016.

For a complete list of references, please e-mail the CHEK Institute.

www.chekinstitute.com [email protected]

PRESENTER CONTACT DETAILSPodcast: Living 4D with Paul Chek on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google PlayInstagram: paul.chekYouTube: youtube.com/PaulChekLiveFacebook: PaulCheksPageBlog: www.paulcheksblog.com

the essentials of overcoming addictive behavior · the essentials of overcoming addictive behavior...

Documents