the elusive obvious - freevincent.mucchielli.free.fr/pua/pua/daviddeangelo/cocky comedy... · cocky...

COCKY COMEDY CD TRACK LISTINGS

Disc 1 Tracks

1. Intro & The Elusive Obvious

2. The Critical Counterintuitive

3. What is Laughter? 4. Why We Laugh 5. Humor & Gender 6. The Concept Of Cocky

& Funny 7. Sense Of Humor 8. Levels & Tests 9. Cocky Comedy As A

Tool 10. Don't Laugh

Disc 2 Tracks

1. Vibing, Stickiness, & Attraction

2. Voice Tone 3. Status Exercises 4. The Character 5. Character Exercise 6. Conversation Theory 7. Messing with Her 8. Speaking The Unspoken 9. Telling an interesting

story

Disc 3 Tracks 1. Counterproductive Cool

Guy 2. Nonverbal Cocky

Comedy 3. More Nonverbal 4. More Tools 5. The Mistakes 6. Guest: Craig 7. Questions 8. Guest: Will 9. Guest: Twenty-six 10. Joking With Friends

Disc 4 Tracks

1. Commonalities & Tourists

2. Calibration & Questions 3. Other Programs 4. Guest: Sean 5. Nice Guy 6. Internal Voices &

Therapy 7. Changing Beliefs 8. Believing is Seeing 9. Anti-Pity Exercise

Disc 5 Tracks 1. Self Image 2. In The Club 3. Cheap Date Ideas 4. When It Works 5. Cocky Comedy Tips 6. Mystery and Security 7. Girls At Parties 8. Humor 9. Body Image Exercise

Disc 6 Tracks

1. Q&A & The Gift of Pain 2. Guest: Rich 3. Doubt & Mindsets 4. You Are The Selector 5. Styles & Personas 6. Having Fun 7. Comebacks

Cocky Comedy Program Workbook

CD Audio Series

David DeAngelo

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Disc 1 .................................................................................................................................................................. 7 Introduction .................................................................................................................................................. 7 Commit to Yourself for 90 Days............................................................................................................. 8 Most Men Don’t Have the Idea................................................................................................................ 8 The Elusive Obvious and the Critical Counter-Intuitive ................................................................ 9 What Brings People Closer ..................................................................................................................... 9 Laughter: Part of the Universal Human ‘Language’...................................................................... 10 Humor, Personality and Laughter as Drugs .................................................................................... 10 The Theory and Purpose of Laughter ................................................................................................ 11 Story of Cocky Comedy.......................................................................................................................... 11 Contrast Cocky Comedy with Sense of Humor .............................................................................. 12 Cocky Comedy in a Nutshell................................................................................................................. 12 The Next Level ........................................................................................................................................... 13 The Cocky Comedy Test ........................................................................................................................ 13 Remember, it’s One Tool in Your Toolbox ....................................................................................... 14 Don’t Laugh to Make Her Laugh .......................................................................................................... 14

Disc 2 ................................................................................................................................................................ 15

Vibing ........................................................................................................................................................... 15 Stickiness – What It Is, How It Applies.............................................................................................. 15 A Magic Attraction Key ........................................................................................................................... 16 Status and Comedy Don’ts.................................................................................................................... 16 The Character ............................................................................................................................................ 17 Roles/Characters ...................................................................................................................................... 17 Character Practice Exercise ................................................................................................................. 18 Conversation Theory ............................................................................................................................... 18 Normal Conversation Do’s and Don’ts .............................................................................................. 19 Messing With Her ..................................................................................................................................... 19 Speaking the Unspoken… Cocky Comedy Style ........................................................................... 20 Cocky Comedy Themes.......................................................................................................................... 20 What’s Wrong With ‘Normal’ Conversation?................................................................................... 21 Telling An Interesting Story .................................................................................................................. 21 Questions to Ask Her .............................................................................................................................. 22 Questions To Not Ask Her ..................................................................................................................... 22

©2005 All Rights Reserved. — Double Your Dating "Cocky Comedy" With David DeAngelo

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Disc 3 ................................................................................................................................................................ 23 Counter-productive Cool Guy .............................................................................................................. 23 Cute Names For Her ................................................................................................................................ 23 Non-verbal Cocky Comedy.................................................................................................................... 24 Cocky Comedy Tools .............................................................................................................................. 24 Swipe Great Jokes from Movies .......................................................................................................... 25 Calm Girls and Crazy Girls .................................................................................................................... 25 Remember the Common Mistakes ...................................................................................................... 26 Cocky Comedy for Attractive, Physically Confident Men ........................................................... 26 Building Trust ............................................................................................................................................ 27 Building Trust Continued....................................................................................................................... 27 Craig.............................................................................................................................................................. 28 Will................................................................................................................................................................. 29 Twenty-six ................................................................................................................................................... 30

Disc 4 ................................................................................................................................................................ 30

Twenty-six Continued ............................................................................................................................. 30 Sean .............................................................................................................................................................. 31

Disc 5 ................................................................................................................................................................ 31

Sean Continued......................................................................................................................................... 31 Disc 6 ................................................................................................................................................................ 31

Sean Continued......................................................................................................................................... 31 Richard ......................................................................................................................................................... 32

Suggested Reading List ............................................................................................................................. 33


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Seminar Slides Disc One Seminar Notes

Introduction • We're talking about conversation skills here, and we're going to focus

on Cocky Comedy

• The purpose of your conversation, as we're going to address it in this program, is to create Attraction

• It might be to start a conversation and spark the attraction, increase sexual tension, amplify attraction that's present... but it's all focused around ATTRACTION

• There's no point in being funny if you only come across as a goofy dork

• If you want to be funny, get a joke book

• If you want to learn how to make a woman feel attraction for you by the way you talk to her and communicate with her, then focus what you're going to learn on CREATING AND AMPLIFYING ATTRACTION


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Commit To Yourself for 90 Days • Make a commitment to yourself and your success • Spend an hour per day with these materials... every

day... for the next 90 days • Form a success habit by working on this area every

single day • Take a moment and picture yourself applying what

you learn every day for the next 90 days... and imagine the benefits you'll get

• See a picture of your outcome in your mind... see yourself enjoying using what you're about to learn

Most Men Don't Have The Idea Of "Personality Triggered Attraction" In Their Paradigm

• Most men have never considered or featured the idea that women can feel a similar powerful, emotional and physical response us guys recognize as "attraction" (but for very different reasons than most men feel it for most women)

• One of the reasons why many men respond well to the concept of "Attraction Isn't A Choice" is that it triggers this realization that they must change their communication if they want to trigger attraction in women (instead of trying to logically convince)

• If you don't even have something in your paradigm or model of the world, you can't see it or even perceive it

• Once you get the concept in your mind, and know how to look for it, you often see it all around you

• Begin watching for clues that "Personality Triggered Attraction' exists, and then consider the idea that it's the primary way that Attraction is triggered in women... and let's talk about some


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The Elusive Obvious and the Critical Counter-Intuitive

• What we were about to talk about is "obvious" - obvious, that is, if you know to look for it

• It's been happening right in front of you all your life, but you've just never noticed it

• When you believe things are one way, your mind can prevent you from seeing anything other than what you believe

• Once you master the materials we're going to cover, you will be able to perform magic right out on the open, for all to see... and they'll never know what you're doing... and even explaining it won't help them to see it... because they won't believe it

• The Critical Counter-Intuitive is a name I've given to the concept of key situations where "going against the herd" is both unusually important and exactly opposite of what most people would do "naturally"

• Stock investing – amateur mistakes, short-term spending vs. long-term investing, eating little vs. eating a lot, etc.

What Brings People Closer • There's a big difference between what SHOULD bring people

closer together and what DOES bring people closer together... and you must shift your paradigm to see this

SHOULD DOES •Similarity •Emotions •"Respectful distance"

•Physical play •Mystery

•Commonality •Challenge •Rapport •Unpredictability •Compliments •Teasing/busting


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Laughter: Part of the Universal Human ‘Language’

• Before we get into the how-to's of Cocky Comedy, let's talk about one of the basic components: Laughter (and what it is)

• There are several universal ‘language components’ that all humans from all cultures and backgrounds seem to use

• One is crying in response to grief and loss • Another is yelling or screaming in response to fear or danger • And another is laughter • Laughter is the universal bonding communication, and RARELY

is it in response to something FUNNY

Humor, Personality and Laughter as Drugs

• I read an interesting piece by Richard Dawkins of "The Selfish Gene" fame... in his more recent book "Unweaving The Rainbow"

• He suggested that one way of possibly thinking of a male bird's song of courtship is that it's like a drug (or, if you prefer, that it triggers the release of drugs) in the female bird's mental/emotional system

• Is it possible that a certain type of MALE HUMAN ‘song’ is capable of generating the same response in a female human?

• And is it possible that the combination of this male human ‘song’ with LAUGHTER tends to release a powerful COMPOUND of drugs inside a woman?

• I think so...


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Theory and Purpose of Laughter • Laughter serves a social function • Most laughter isn't in response to something funny (key) • Various research has shown that people are between ten and

thirty times as likely to laugh when they're in the presence of others

• In other words, we don't laugh very much when we're ALONE (we're more likely to talk to ourselves than laugh when alone)

• Research also shows that higher status people can tend to make more jokes than lower status people (this should be extended to why it's OK to be constantly bagging on her or making jokes, even though she's not... as long as she's LAUGHING)

• So why do people laugh? What's the meaning of laughter?

Story of Cocky Comedy • Greg and Cocky & Funny • Cocky Comedy is easier to remember and more clear • Think of Howard Stern, David Letterman, Triumph The Insult

Comic Dog... these are MASTERS of Cocky Comedy


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Contrast Cocky Comedy with Sense of Humor

• It's common wisdom that making a girl laugh is an important part of making her like you. To this end, many guys do their best to make jokes... [more]. In contrast, Cocky Comedy is about something very different. Laughter is good, but it’s more a signal that you're actually on the right track, rather than the ultimate objective. The point of Cocky Comedy is ATTRACTION. Comedy is to create, then release tension. Cocky Comedy is about creating tension, then releasing it a little, then creating MORE tension... and building more and more toward a crescendo. The ‘release’ never quite comes (so to speak)

Sense Of Humor VS. Cocky Comedy Make her laugh Make her feel ATTRACTION Make her think you're funny Make her desire more Make her "like" you Make her WANT you Get her approval Make her feel something toward

you that she can't control

Cocky Comedy in a Nutshell • Why the combination?

1. Women aren't attracted to lower status men 2. The cocky element implies high status 3. If you can make a woman laugh at something you say that's

busting on her, or extremely arrogant, you've achieved a magical accomplishment

• The comedy element keeps you out of the "jerk/a-hole" category, and creates an amazing connection... if you can make someone laugh, you're "in" with them


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The Next Level • Even more powerful than her laughing at a Cocky & Funny

joke you've made while you're not laughing... is her FRIENDS laughing at the comment you've made

• Finally, the pinnacle of Cocky Comedy is when her friends are laughing at a joke you've made about HER (while you're not laughing, of course)

• Like dynamite, these are very powerful and dangerous... use them wisely and carefully, and they will increase your success with women dramatically

The Cocky Comedy Test • Before we get into what to do right, let's talk about what many

guys do WRONG: • Stilted, nervous, unnatural, uncomfortable conversation and

gestures • Trying to get her approval or make her like you • Apologizing or seeming like you're apologetic for anything • Having an agenda instead of enjoying the moment • If it's Cocky Comedy, then it is both ARROGANT and FUNNY • If she isn't SMILING and LAUGHING often, then what you're

doing isn't Cocky Comedy


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Don't Laugh To Make Her Laugh • Humans often (or even usually) laugh or smile in response to

hearing others laugh... even when what's being laughed at isn't funny (or sometimes even known)

• If we want to make another person laugh (in other words, if we try to make someone else show give us approval) we often laugh ourselves (when a high-status person laughs at something, others start laughing automatically... even if they don't know what that something is yet... then, when they find out what it is, they tend to laugh even more)

• Don't laugh unconsciously or consciously to break tension, or to try to make her laugh

• Make a picture in your mind of a guy laughing in order to break tension, and the woman looking around for some kind of distraction so she can pretend that the guy she's with isn't as much of a dork as he seems to be... then DON'T DO THAT

Remember, its One Tool in Your Toolbox

• The mistake of thinking that Cocky Comedy is everything, or that ANYTHING is everything when it comes to meeting women

• This idea is a key, but it's not everything • Don't rely on Cocky Comedy to create attraction all by itself • You must overcome your insecurities, polish up your

personality quirks, learn to control your body language, and many other things if you want to really take advantage of the power that this technique and way of thinking offers


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Seminar Slides Disc Two Seminar Notes

Vibing • Picture in your mind a situation where a man and a woman are

‘VIBING’ — They're both in tune with each other, and they're feeling chemistry... and enjoying it

• It's a combination of both people knowing how to communicate on a ‘Sexual’ level plus the signaling of interest or enjoyment of the other knowing the lingo

• Knowing that you don't know how to get these types of responses from women triggers many guys to avoid ‘flirting’ at all... because they don't want to face the subtle rejection they experience when a woman doesn't ‘vibe’ back at them

• This concept that I'm calling ‘vibing’ is HIGHLY addictive... it's like a strong drug... you can become psychologically addicted from the first little taste

• When you understand this dynamic, how to start it, and how to keep it going with women, it becomes incredibly powerful

• You can give her a little at a time, and by not giving it all at once, you make her want mare and more

Stickiness — What It Is, How It Applies • Stickiness - the web term • In order to be ‘sticky’, you must:

- Get her attention - Keep her interest - Differentiate yourself quickly from any other men that are

present - Increase her curiosity and make her wonder what's coming

next - Make her want more - Make her feel attraction - Increase her attraction to you by being challenging,

mysterious, unpredictable - She drops something


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A Magic Attraction Key • Female genes reward male status with mating opportunities

Remember the formula. Male Status = Mating Opportunities • Regardless of looks, age, income, etc., you can always send

'honest signals' that communicate higher status than HER (See my Mastery Program for an in-depth education)

• Laughter serves a social function_. people laugh to get approval and bond most of the time... humor is on a small fraction of the puzzle

• When you can make a woman laugh, but not laugh yourself, she's seeking approval and you're NOT

• If you can use Cocky Comedy to make her laugh, you are compounding many powerful forces into one incredibly focused moment communicating high status overtly with your arrogant p comment, making her laugh (which is her seeking social acceptance), and not laughing yourself (which you are high status and don't need d her approval)... all of which, together, create and amplify attraction

• When you use Cocky Comedy to make a woman laugh while not laughing yourself, you're on the right track

Status and Comedy Don'ts • Don't use self-deprecating humor constantly • Don't communicate that you think you're a dumb-ass • Don't joke about having bad luck, being a klutz, or not being

successful • Don't put yourself down to seem overly ‘humble’ • Don't look at her every time you say something to see how

she's responding • If she responds well to you not paying attention after you've

busted on her, TURN IT UP and pay LESS attention


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The Character • The humor actually flows more from the character, the

responses, and the natural Interaction than from ‘jokes’ • In order to make this concept work, you must BELIEVE It and

act congruently • This will not work If you approach this tentatively and ‘try’ it...

on the contrary, it will actually backfire • Most funny people are not TRYING to be funny you'll notice...

and they're usually not seeking approval... they're being the CHARACTER

• The Character is where 90% of the humor flows from

Roles/Characters • Fake / assume position of authority • She's 'Just trying to get me into bed" • What's in it for me • Cold in a funny way • High maintenance chicks • Making fun of wussy / clingy guys • Imitating her • Sarcastically encouraging her bad / unhealthy behavior • You're always on her mind, she's always pursuing you • She needs adult supervision / modem medical science cant

explain


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Character Practice Exercise • Imagine a particular type of character that you could work with

Some examples: -A neurotically emotional, impatient, disapproving parent -An overly-confident ‘player’ or ‘playboy’ (think The Ladies Man) -A high-maintenance woman

• How would each CHARACTER react to the following?... - She accidentally touches your ass - She drops something - She asks you to buy her a drink

• Use this exercise when you're interacting with women

Conversation Theory • Most guys approach conversations with women the way they

approach dates • They think that there's a set of rules and a way of doing things

that must govern their behavior • Instead of relaxing, making funny comments, and generally

acting almost TOO comfortable, they act stilted, tentative, and almost formal

• Most men want a woman to feel some kind of ‘interest’ or "attraction" toward him... but they usually wind up doing and saying things that cause the opposite feelings

• Instead of making conversations interesting, fun, unpredictable, and emotionally interesting, they make conversations boring, predictable, and bland


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Normal Conversation Do's and Don'ts • Don't get ‘too serious’ too soon • Wait until you've gone on a few dates before you let things get

too heavy • Focus the conversation on FUN instead of an objective • Don't worry about finding commonality, common goals, etc. • Logic is the enemy

Messing With Her • The ‘I'm messing with you’ interaction change… It has a

different vibe • When you mess with one of your friends, but you ‘sound’

serious, how does your friend know that you're messing with them?

• Being "overly serious" or ‘overly harsh’ or ‘over reacting’... so it's OBVIOUS that you're playing

• The problem Is that most people don't do this stuff with STRANGERS... and ESPECIALLY women that they don't know... women that they're attracted to most of all

• Its critical that you switch the conversation from a ‘normal’ mode into a 'different vibe’ ... and that you do this QUICKLY... don't let the conversation stay too normal for too long before switching It Up

• Transitioning to the ‘I’m Messing With You’ vibe: - Take something she said and twist it in a funny way - Complain about something in an "over serious way - Give an over-exaggerated compliment that can't he real,

but seem way too serious - Accuse her of stepping over the line and trying to pick you

up in some way


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Speaking the Unspoken... Cocky Comedy Style

• If a woman is hitting you, pushing you, or acting ‘fake mad’, say "You love me"... if she questions your comment, say "You just hit me... like a little girl on the playground hitting a boy she likes... YOU LOVE ME, AND ITS OBVIOUS"

• Venice with Craig: "You know, I can't believe it... I did all that flirting with you when I walked in, we had the fun little vibe, and you didn't even come over here to visit and hint that you liked me... I feel unloved"

• These require some self-assurance... and COCKINESS

Cocky Comedy Themes • Male/female stereotypes • Neurotic common relationship dysfunctions • Common Neurotic personality characteristics • Exasperation, etc • Reframing • Grabbing a word from her and riffing on it • Neurotic attention to detail


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What's Wrong With ‘Normal’ Conversation?

• ‘Normal’ conversation is characterized by the routine, boring subjects that most people talk about unconsciously all day, every day

• The weather, sports, jobs, cars, • Some women will get upset at you for ‘avoiding’ them or being

‘evasive'… it will happen... its the risk of being different • Gary Halbert, the famous marketing genius, says (my

paraphrase), ‘that if you don't piss anyone off, you're not doing a good job of communicating your message’

Telling an Interesting Story • Elements that make things interesting • Tiny details that paint mental pictures • Funny, uncomfortable situations that naturally make people

laugh • Tension and release • Conflict that resolves itself in a strange way


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Questions To Not Ask Her • ‘What do you do?’ • ‘What kind of car do you have?’ • ‘Where do you live?’ • ‘Do you have any pets?’ • ‘Do you want kids?’ • ‘What are your views on religion, politics, abortion?’

Questions to Ask Her • ‘What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened on

a date?’ • ‘Which is the superior gender?’ • ‘What's the craziest thing you've ever done?’


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Seminar Slides Disc Three Seminar Notes

Cute Names for Her • Come up with a cute name for her that's bath accurate cute,

and somewhat antagonistic • A few standards:

- Dork - Brat (Note: this one may be becoming too popular now) - Dude - Playa

Counter-Productive Cool-Guy • Don't imply that because you've achieved some milestone or

because you have some affiliation or money, etc. that she SHOULD like you

• It's obvious when a person thinks that because they have some quality or accomplishment that they're "entitled" to something

• Don't assume that because you have money, or a nice car, or whatever that a woman should just roll onto her back with her legs in the air• The attorney at Spago w/date


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Non-Verbal Cocky Comedy • When you use a gesture or face or tone of voice that makes

fun of her, and she laughs, do it again later... and look for opportunities to use it

• Push her into things physically as you're walking • Billy: Sighing loudly as if embarrassed, shaking your head,

throwing hands up • Thumb wrestle, knee squeeze, tickle, pull hair • Handing her something and not letting go/not grabbing

something she's handing you • Swat her • Stealing food or taking the ‘big piece • What else can you think of?

Cocky Comedy Tools • The ‘I know something that you don't know’ smile • The sly smile • Whining baby talk to mock whining • Interrupting repeatedly in sequence, then silence • Seem to go along with / comply with / request, then turn and

twist and ask for something in return


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Swipe Great Jokes from Movies • If you collect great one-liners and comebacks from movies,

you can increase your "charm factor" rapidly • The fantastic thing about movie lines: When you use one, you

always sound charming... • If she doesn't recognize the line, she'll just laugh and think

you're clever • If she does recognize the line, she'll laugh because you called

up a funny quote at just the right time • Even better: If she doesn't laugh, you can MAKE FUN of her

and accuse her of being socially inept and out of touch with her culture because she hasn't seen the OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT movie

• Examples: Bud Fox (How are you today? Guilty/Sin lines) • Keep a ‘swipe file’ handy, and review it often

Calm Girls and Crazy Girls • Treat a calm, reserved, conservative girl as if you know that

secretly she's a wild and crazy party girl • Treat a wild, crazy, spastic girl as if you know that secretly

she's a calm, reserved, conservative, boring girl


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Remember the Common Mistakes... • Too much funny... goofy, dorky, • Too much cocky... A-hole, jerk, insecure Not actually being

funny • Mistaking a put-down for being Cocky • Doing it to impress or show off • Physically looking for approval or a reaction after you make a

comment or gesture

Cocky Comedy for Attractive, Physically Confident Men

• If you're one of the guys who should thank his parents for getting together and giving you ‘good genes’... and you look like Brad Pitt or a sports model, then it's important that you remember something about Cocky Comedy

• Women very often assume that tall, good-looking, physically confident men are arrogant and stuck on themselves

• It's important to communicate that you're NOT one of those guys who's completely stuck on himself FIRST... and THEN start transitioning into Cocky Comedy

• But remember, just because you need to ease in with the Cocky Comedy does NOT mean to act like a Wuss or communicate lower status... never do these things


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Building Trust Cont. • There are many opportunities to throw in a little "normal

conversation" • I prefer to do this when something in the environment

naturally leads into it... • Examples:

— You're ordering a cup of coffee with her, and you ask her what she wants in a serious way, then order like a "normal person"

- You're walking down the sidewalk, and you want to switch to her walking on the Inside._ you say, in a serious tone "Here" as you casually move her inside by gently guiding her elbow

- If she's overly Insistent about asking you ‘serious’ questions, answer them all in one quick sentence "I'm 27, I was born In Ohio, I went to college at NYU, I got a 3.82 GPA, I now have a job and pay my own bills. I love my mother, and I go to the dentist every six months"

Building Trust • In the bonus book "Bridges" that came along with my original

book "Double Your Dating", you probably remember me mentioning that a key step with a woman is her feeling enough trust to be alone with you

• This involves her feeling some level of comfort, etc. and the general feeling that you're not a creepy person that's going to try to take advantage of her as soon as you're alone

• In order to do this, you're going to have to have some "normal conversation"

• I don't talk very much about this topic in other places, because it’s a bit complex...

• Guys ask "Do I use Cocky Comedy all the time? Should I stop at some point?" etc.

• Answer: I TELL guys to really dial it up, because I know that most of the time that if I tell them to really pour it on, they'll do just enough to make things interesting for a woman... [cont.]


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Craig Notes


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Will Notes


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Twenty-six Notes


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Sean Notes


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Richard Notes


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Suggested Reading List The Barmaid's Brain By Jay Ingram Laughter By Robert R. Provine Exuberance By Kay Redfield Jamison Impro By Keith Johnstone Comedy Writing Secrets By Melvin Helitzer Interaction Ritual By Erving Goffman Behavior in Public Places By Erving Goffman Unweaving the Rainbow By Richard Dawkins

Contact Information Sean Stephenson mailto:[email protected] http://www.seanstephenson.com

Twenty-six mailto:[email protected] http://www.realsocialdynamics.com

Will mailto:[email protected] http://www.youaresoinmyway.com


mailto:[email protected]

http://www.seanstephenson.com/


http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/


http://www.youaresoinmyway.com/

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the elusive obvious - freevincent.mucchielli.free.fr/pua/pua/daviddeangelo/cocky comedy... · cocky...

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