The Dance of Self-Care

Presenter:Janice Fialka

www.danceofpartnership.comruaw@aol.com

As a community, we can beginby acknowledging that compassion fatigue exists.

Our plans for today Understand the impact of emotional labor

Practice self-care strategies

Identify two strategies to use in future weeks.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF . . .

What about your work is stressful or weighs you down?

Signs of compassion fatigue Difficulty concentrating Intrusive imagery Loss of hope Exhaustion (tired in such a way that no amount of sleep will help) Irritability Isolating self Cynical Excessive complaining Excessive blaming Anxiety Others?

All careers and jobs involve some kind of

labor

BUT WHY AM I SO FATIGUED?

Emotional Labor-Arlie Hochschild (1983) “Managing the Heart”

Managing strong emotions while staying connected to the family

AN EXAMPLE

Your outward appearance may be radically different from how you feel on the inside.

To manage these differences and to appear “pleasant” takes work.

THAT kind of work is called Emotional work

What are the tools used with some labor?

Our ability to connect . . .

To form relationships . . .

To feel . . .

EMPATHY is our primary tool

What is our primary tool?

What is empathy ?

…the action of feeling the feelings & thoughts of the person, as if you are

the person . . .

WITHOUT having the feelings & thoughts FULLY in an explicit manner.

-Babette Rothschild

Empathy is our tool!

Two components to empathy (Heinz Kohut, founder of the movement of self-psychology in the 1970’s)

1. Having a sense of or an understanding of the feelings of another

AND2. Being able to demonstrate in accurate

verbal or non-verbal reflection the feelings of the another.

Resulting in that glorious experience “I feel understood!”

We feel empathy in our bodies

All this . . . feeling, emotional labor, empathy, giving of ourselves doing, doing, doing

Leads to . . . .

“Chronic exposure to really tough circumstances…….”

-Dr. Doebbeling, Indiana School of Medicine

compassion fatigue

IT WILL HAPPEN

The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering or loss daily and

not be touched by it…. is as unrealistic as

expecting to be able to walk through water without getting

wet.

- Rachel Naomi Remen, “Kitchen Table Wisdom”

You CAN do something!

Self-care strategies: The list is long and varied!

Humor Eat Well Exercise regularly Sleep Spend time w/ loved

ones Buddy up w/ someone

Do NOTHING for 5 minutes each day.

Use rituals to transition from work to home

Intentional breathing Guided imagery

We’ll focus on 4 strategies Power of the PAUSE

Breathing and relaxation techniques

Journaling

Laughter

Strategy #1: Power of the PAWS

Strategy #1: Power of the PAUSE

Strategy #2: Relaxing Breath Exercise: 4-7-8

Andrew Weil, M.D. www.drweil.com -founder and director of the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine

Ready, Set . . . Release: Music & Relaxation Exercises for children

By J. Allen and R. Klein www.readysetrelax.com

Strategy #2: Visualization

Strategy #3: Journaling

It’s not about being a writer--- it’s about being an explorer

Journaling is “good” for you!

Many ways to write1. Write a letter to someone (Dear _____)

2. Write a letter to yourself, expressing kindness to yourself . . .

3. Write about 3 things you are grateful for . . .

Strategy #4: Laughter!

Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves,

for they shall never cease to be amused.

In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself.

The point is to have a long-term perspective. 

Dalai Lama

My commitment to myself . . .