the courting

7/29/2019 The Courting

1/10

The Courting

By

Dan Finnen

Copyright 2013 by Dan Finnen Email me at info (at)danfinnen.com for free

permission to stage or filmthis script.


2/10

FADE IN:

INT. FINE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A fine restaurant.

LEE sits at a table alone. He plays with a spoon.

SARAH walks in and sits in the empty chair across from Lee.She looks at him and they both stare at each other, slightlyconfused.

LEEHi.

SARAHMark?

LEENope.

SARAHMick?

LEENope.

SARAHDoctor Wellington XIV?

LEE

Nope.

SARAH(sighs)

Im always so bad at this.

LEEAt what?

SARAHThis.

LEEThis?

SARAHThis.

LEEDinner?


3/10

2.

SARAHYes.

LEEI didnt know that was even askill.

SARAHI dont think Im even in the rightbuilding. Im supposed to be in theScreaming Burger Bath.

LEEOh. This is Kenny As.

SARAHNever heard of it.

LEE

Well, youre here.

SARAHHm.

Pause.

SARAHLooks like Ive been stood upagain.

LEEYou said you were in the wrong

place.

SARAHDont defend him!

Pause.

LEEIf it makes you feel any better, Ithink Ive been stood up too.

LEES DATE appears.

LEES DATESorry Im late I...

Lees date sees Sarah. She looks at Lee.

LEES DATE...Oh. OH.


4/10

3.

Suddenly angry, Lees date slaps him across the face, hitshim with her purse, knocking him off his chair, then takesher heel off and hits him in the face.

LEES DATESLUT!

She leaves. Lee lies on the floor bleeding.

LEEMaybe not.

A WAITER walks over to Sarah, ignoring the bleeding Lee onthe ground.

WAITER

Madimadimasmidasmosiosiomadamisimodielle.

SARAHI would like a bottle of yourstrongest wine.

WAITERVery good.

The waiter leaves. Lee climbs up and sits back down in hischair.

SARAHShe was cute.

LEEWas.

SARAHIll be your new date.

LEE...Okay.

Pause.

LEEWhats your name?

SARAHWhoa, cowboy! Its only our firstdate!

Sarah laughs uncomfortably loud.


5/10

4.

SARAHEnough chit chat. How big is yourpenis?

Lee looks horrified.

The waiter arrives and sets a huge, rather scratched up,bottle of wine on the table.

LEEWhoa. Whats that?

WAITERUpper South Italian Death HamsterWine.

Pause.

WAITER

...Its a bottle of pure grainalcohol. I mixed in a little boxedwine for coloring.

The waiter sets down two plastic and comically largemargarita glasses in font of them, then quickly walks away.

Lee looks at the bottle.

SARAHSounds tasty.

Lee pours himself and Sarah a large (and I mean LARGE)

glass.

SARAHCheers.

They begin to drink. And drink. As they drink they make eyecontact with each other and suddenly its on. They race tochug their massive glass first. After a serious chuggingmatch, Sarah finishes first by a hair.

SARAHWOOOOOOO!

Sarah throws the empty glass at the wall beside them.

SARAHIN YO FACE!

Lee finishes, tries not to vomit, convulses a bit, thenrelaxes.


6/10

5.

LEEThats some damn good wine.

SARAHIsnt it?

Sarah sits down.

SARAHLet me read your palm.

LEEOkay.

Sarah grabs his hand and yanks it towards her. She looksintensely at it.

After a beat she lets go.

SARAHI kind of see the letter M.

LEEInteresting.

Pause.

LEEDo you know my name?

SARAHI know lots about you. I know you

have socks that dont match. I knowthat you have a gray undershirt on.I know that you have a massivedong.

LEEBut whats my name?

SARAHJames Worthenhopper.

LEEIt is not James Worthenhopper.

SARAHOh. Thats weird.

LEEMy name is...


7/10

6.

SARAHWHOO! Starting to feel a littletipsy.

LEEWhoa. Me too. Are we going to get

food? Whered the waiter go?

SARAHWHOO! Im feeling good!

LEEYou are?

SARAHYoure funny. You know that? Yourefunny people. I like you.

LEE

Youre funny too.

SARAHYou know what?

LEEWhat?

SARAHI hate me.

LEEYou what?

SARAHBut I like you.

LEEWELL.

SARAHYoooou...

LEEI hate women.

SARAHWhat.

LEEBut... I really like... you.


8/10

7.

SARAHWEE!

LEE(Starts to giggle.)

I think Im drunk.

SARAH(Starts to giggle as well.)

Me too.

Suddenly Sarah stops giggling. She stares at Lee.Dangerously seductive. Lee notices this, drunk, and slightlyworried.

LEEUh... hey.

Sarah grabs the table.

LEEUh...

Sarah stands up. Shes in full seductress mode.

LEEAre...

Sarah starts to climb onto the table across to Lee.

LEEWhat... you... were... in you...you cant do that!

Sarah stops, climbs back to her side and stands.

LEEWell. Hm. Um.

Sarah pulls a tiny radio out of her purse and puts it on thetable. She turns it on and a porno beat plays with someweirdly graphic sounds thrown in for good measure.

LEEHey! This is a restaurant! Youre

not allowed...

Sarah starts to take off her dress.

LEENever mind. Proceed.

Sarah is wearing some intense underwear. She crawls over thetable again, knocking everything off of it in the process.


9/10

8.

She jumps up off the table and on to Lee, straddling him.

LEE(A little self conscious.)

...Hi.

Sarah starts grinding all up in Lees business.

LEEWhoa! Hey!

Sarah starts moaning, increasingly loud.

LEEAre we having sex? I still haveclothes on. Arent we in public?

Sarah drowns out Lee with her moans. She seems to beenjoying herself and orgasms. We think.

SARAHWOOO!!

Sarah stops and pats Lee on the head.

She stands up and walks back to her chair, then picks up herpurse and gathers her things.

LEEAre you leaving? Dont you want togo home with me?

SARAHGo home with you? GO HOME WITH YOU?DO YOU EVEN KNOW MY NAME?

LEEYou wouldnt...

SARAHIM LEAVING! Waiter!

The waiter appears.

SARAH

Take me home.

LEEWha...

WAITERSir, please refrain from harassingthe customers.


10/10

9.

LEEWhat?

SARAHSLUT!

Sarah slaps Lee.

The waiter escorts Sarah to the door, where they proceed topassionately kiss. They exit, still slobbering on theothers face.

Lee watches them leave. He gathers his things and stands.

LEENot bad. Not bad at all.

Lee adjusts his tie and exits.

FADE OUT.

the courting

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