the conversational killer assessment form (vancouver knexus)

8/2/2019 The Conversational Killer Assessment Form (Vancouver Knexus)

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Conversational Killer Self-Assessment Chart

www.theschoolofconsciouscommunication.com & Vancouver Knexus

Name: ____________________________________________ Date: ________________________________________

Witness: __________________________________________

Directions:

How many times in 1 lunar cycle of 28 days would you actively be participating in the following conversational

killers? If you are always doing the particular conversational killer, give your self (-10 points). If you do it a lot,

then (-7 pts), if only sometimes then (-3 pts), If only a few times then(1 pts) and if you never do it then a

(zero). Be ruthlessly honest with your self! At the end of the assessment have someone witness it who knows

you well and can challenge your assessment.

Conversational

Killer

Always A lot Sometimes A few

Times

NeverScore

-10 pts -7 pts -3 pts -1 pts 0 pts

1 Blah Blah Blah

2 Blaming3 Dismissive

4 Distraction

5 Diversion

6 Gossip

7 Intensity Gap

8 Interruption9 Jab

10 Judgment

11 Out to Lunch

12 Rant


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13 Red Herring

14 Shaming

15 Spaced Out

16 Yank the Chain

17 Under the

Influence

18 Overwhelm

19 Hi-Jack

20 Poor Me

21 Freak Out22 Sob Story

23 Butt IN

24 Overkill

Scores:

Score Assessment:

Over -200 = Completely Trapped in Pattern Land

-100 to -200 = Very Trapped in Patterns but Some Hope

-50 to -100 = Certain Specific Patterns Holding You Back

Under -50 = A Conscious Communicator

0 = A Master Communicator


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Conversational Killer Glossary

Blaming: To attribute fault.

Blah Blah Blah: To go on and on without knowing that people have stopped listening.

Butt In: To walk into a conversation that is already occurring and to just start talking.

Dismissive: To dismiss someone's opinion as invalid and not worthy of attention.

Distraction: To distract, divide the attention, or prevent concentration.

Diversion: To draw someone's attention away from the point of a conversation.

Freak Out: To be out of emotional control to such a degree that everything around you become chaotic.

Gossip: To talk idly or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.

Hi-Jack: To take over a conversation from the original intention of the group.

Interruption: To cut someone off in the middle of speaking at an inappropriate time.

Intensity Gap: To be so much more energetic in a conversation that you lose people not used to it.

Jab: To quickly criticize someone, subtly or not so subtly, sometimes disguised in humor.

Judgment:To judge anothers opinion as wrong or bad.

Out To Lunch: To be so far out in left field that there is no shared meaning.

Overkill: To go overboard either emotionally or with information with something that didnt need it.

Overwhelm: To give too much information at either a rapid pace or at too high a level (or both).

Poor Me: To speak endlessly about how the world is doing you in without taking any responsibility.

Rant: To spew your negative opinion in a one sided manner without awareness of the impact.

Red Herring: To lay a false scent so that the conversation's intention is missed.

Shaming: To have the intention to cause another to feel shame.

Sob Story: To tell a story that you have told to everyone about some painful experience you had with no intention to

heal, only to get sympathy.

Spaced Out: To be up in the clouds and not in touch with a grounded reality.

Yank The Chain: To give the illusion of desiring to reach an agreement but having no intention to do so.

Under The Influence: To be intoxicated with alcohol or drugs to such a point that it harms the interaction.

the conversational killer assessment form (vancouver knexus)

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