the coach i parent i athlete relationship

7/21/2019 The Coach I Parent I Athlete Relationship

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/the-coach-i-parent-i-athlete-relationship 1/10

The port

Psychologist 1987

1

151-160

The Coach Parent thlete Relationship

JonC Hellstedt

University of Lowell

Coaches often have difficultyworking with the parents of their athletes. Com-

munication problems, conflict, and sometimes power struggles over who has

control over the child's training occasionally develop. Based on an integra-

tion of sport psychology and family systems theory, a model for understand-

ing the coach

/

parent athlete triangle is developed. Three types of parents

are described.. overinvolved, underinvolved, and moderately involved,

s

well

as goals and strategies for working with each type of parent.

Organized youth sport programs are fertile areas of research and inter-

vention by community oriented sport psychologists. It is estimated (Smith Smoll,

1978) that more than 20 million children in the United States are involved in youth

sport programs. The potential value or harm from these programs is a subject

of debate (Coakley, 1986; Martens, 1978) and seems to depend on two key vari-

ables: the quality of adult supervision and coaching, and the amount of parental

pressure placed on the young athlete to perform (McPherson, 1978).

typical complaint of coaches is, I love working with the kids, it's the

parents I can't stand, or, That kid would be a great athlete if her parents would

get off her back. Most coaches do not feel equipped to work with parents and

therefore are reluctant to deal directly with them. They feel their main area of

responsibility is with the athlete. They often block out the parents, and if they

view them as problem parents they refuse to deal with them at all This is unfor-

tunate because coaches can be a very useful resource in improving the parent1

athlete relationship. This change may facilitate the athlete's performance and have

lasting effects on his or her development.

Development of the Model

The existing sport psychology literature (e.g., ~ o u l d ,982) stresses how impor-

tant it is for the coach to educate parents and maintain open communication. An

excellent format for conducting a parent orientation program is presented by Mar-

tens, Christina, Harvey, and Sharkey (1981) in

Coaching Young Athletes.

Their

ideas and suggestions are helpful and essential for coaches to utilize in any ath-

About the Author:

Jon

C

Hellstedt is with the Department of Psychology at the

University of Lowell, Lowell, M

01854.



Coach Parent Athlete Relationship 153

and often problematic. It is my hope, however, that this model might be useful

to coaches in a variety of youth sport settings, and to sport psychologists who

counsel and consult with coaches and parents of young athletes.

The Parental Involvement Continuum

The amount of involvement that parents have in the athletic activities of their

children falls on a continuum from

underinvolved

to

moderate

to

overinvolved.

Underinvolved refers to a relative lack of emotional, financial, or func-

tional investment on the part of parents. Indications of underinvolvement in youth

sports would be lack of attendance at games or events, a minimal financial in-

vestment in equipment, few volunteer activities such as car pooling or other as-

sistance with transportation, minimal interest in conferences with the coach in

regard to the quality of their son s or daughter s participation or skill develop-

ment, and little or no assistance in helping the athlete set realistic outcome and

performance goals.

Moderate levels of involvement are characterized by irmparental direction,

but with enough flexibility so that the young athlete is allowed significant involve-

ment in decision-making. Parents are supportive, but ultimate decisions about

participation and levels of achievement are made by the athlete. Parents of this

Figure

Key people

in

a eoachlparentlathlete relationship.

rom

Ieff:

Clark Colon

coach; Brett Hellstedt athlete; Jon Hellstedt parent.



54 ellstedt

type are interested in feedback from the coach about their children's skill de-

velopment, they have the ability to set realistic goals for their children, and they

support their children's participation financially without being excessive. The ath-

lete is often asked to contribute a portion of the cost through work or other finan-

cial arrangements. Moderate parents often volunteer and participate in supporting

the organization that sponsors the athletic programs, but they are generally able

to leave the athlete's skill development to the coaching staff.

Overinvolved parents have an excessive amount of involvement in the

athletic success of their children. They have a need that is satisfied through their

children's participation, or they have a hidden agenda, hoping the children's suc-

cess will provide later opportunities in education or career. They are not able

to separate their own wishes, fantasies, and needs from those of their children.

Overinvolved parents are characterized by excessive attendance at practice

sessions, standing next to the coach, yelling, frequent disagreements with game

or race officials, excessive financial support without requiring the athlete to share

in the cost, and frequent attempts to coach the child.

An

excessive amount

of their own self-esteem is tied up with their children's success on the field, so

they emphasize winning and are not willing to settle for improved performance.

They tend to set unrealistic goals for their children and communicate disapproval

to them if the goals are not met. They often become angry and disapproving if

their children do not perform well.

Th e Coach Parent thlete Triangle

The interpersonal relations between coach, parent, and athlete will now be

described for each type of parent. The coach's relationship with the athlete and

the athlete's parents can be understood using the diagram and relationship sym-

bols shown in Figure

2

Coach parent athlete

relationship with moderately

involved parents:

Coachlathlete overinvolvement

with parental conflict:

Coachlathiete overinvolvement

with parental isolation:

COACH P RENT

Figure2 Coach s relationship with athlete and parents. Note: Broken line con-

flict; straight line underinvolvement; double line moderate involvement; triple

line overinvolvement.



16 Hellstedi

Martens,

R.

Christina,

R.

Harvey,

J.,

Sharkey, B 1981).

Coaching young athletes.

Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.

McPherson, B. 1978). The chid in competitive sport: Influence of the social mileau.

In R. Magill, M. Ash, F. Smoll Eds.),

Children in sport:

A

contemporary an

thology

pp. 219-249). Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.

Minuchin, S. 1974).

Families and family therapy.

Cambridge, MA: Haward University

Press.

Smith,

R.

Smoll,

F.

1978). Sport and the child. In

R.

Smith

F.

Smoll Eds.),

Psychological perspectives in youth sports.

Washington, DC: Hemisphere.

Manuscript submitted:

November 21, 1986

Revision received:

March 26, 1987

the coach i parent i athlete relationship

Documents