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By Abu Khadeejah Abdul-Wahid

Shaikh Fawzaan: “The Book Of Marriage”, from Buloogh al-Maraam: When one of you proposes for marriage, look at her..

In the name of Allaah, the Most Mercif ul, the Bestower of Mercy.

Tit le: Kitaabun-Nikaah (The Book of Marriage) f rom Shaikh Saalih al-Fawzaan’s explanation of Bulooghal-Maraam min Adillatil-Ahkaam of Al-Haaf idh Ahmad Ibn `Alee Ibn Hajr al-Asqalaanee (Born 773H, Died852H). Shaikh Al-Fawzaan’s tremendous explanation is entit led Tas-heel al-Ilmaam bi-fiqhil-Ahaadeeth minBulooghil-Maraam and is printed in seven volumes. The f ollowing is a translation of this important and veryenlightening chapter, adapted in places f or brevity and simplicity. The f ollowing is f rom volume 4.

Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajr (rahimahullaah) said:

974. Narrated Jaabir (radiyallaahu `anhu) who said that Alaah’s Messenger (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam)said:

“When one of you proposes to a woman for marriage, if he is able to look at what willinduce him to marry her, he should do so.”

Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawood, and all the narrators in the chain are trustworthy. Al-Haakim graded it asSaheeh. [1]

975. The narration also has support with what is narrated by at-Tirmidhee and an-Nasaa’ee f rom al-Mugheerah. [2]

976. Also reported by Ibn Maajah and Ibn Hibbaan f rom the hadeeth of Muhammad Ibn Maslamah. [3]

Shaikh Saalih al-Fawzaan (haf idhahullaah) said:

Explanat ion:

This hadeeth proves that is permitted in the Sharee`ah to look at the one proposed to. So if a personintends to marry a woman, and desires to marry her regardless of whether he has already proposed to heror not; then it is recommended that he looks at her – towards that which will induce him and place in him adesire f or her, so that he becomes well-acquainted with the one he is about to marry – and so that he isnot ignorant concerning her. And as a result of that, there is a distancing f rom living in an unhappy marriageand in disharmony. So if he sees her, and he is acquainted with her, then this leads to harmony between thetwo of them, and removes risk, and removes the ignorance concerning her appearance. And f or this reasonthere occurs in another hadeeth:

“For indeed, that is more suitable so that there is harmony between the two of you.”

Meaning: that by doing so, you will attain harmony and agreement because you took her whilst you knewher. You know her beauty or unsightliness. You know the f ullness of her body or its slenderness.

So this is a proof that there is no problem in looking at the one being proposed to, rather it is somethingrecommended. However this looking should be towards her f ace and hands. This is because the f aceshows you her beauty, and her hands show you the f ullness of her body or its slenderness. And it suf f icesthat one looks at these places, and not to increase upon that. And this is done in the presence of herWaliyy (f ather or appointed guardian). Or that he hides himself f rom her in a place, and snatches looks ather just as Jaabir (radiyallaahu `anhu) did, as occurs in a narration [see: Abu Daawood, no. 2082]. And asf or being secluded and alone with her, then that is f orbidden, and traveling with her, then that is evenworse. It is not permitted f or a man to be secluded with a strange woman due to the saying of the Prophet(salallaahu `alaihi wassallam):

“There is not a man who is alone with a woman except that Shaytaan is the thirdamongst them.”

[Reported by at-Tirmidhee, no. 2165; an-Nasaa'ee in al-Kubraa, no. 9219]

This hadeeth proves that the origin of the af f air is that it is f orbidden to look at strange or unrelatedwomen – and that is because the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam) only made the allowance f or theone proposing f or marriage. So this proves that the origin is that it is prohibited due to the tribulations andtemptations it leads to. Allaah, the Most High, said:

نوعنصی امب ریبخ هللا نإ مهل � �ىكزأ ذ �كل مهجورف � اوظفحیو مهراصبأ نم اوضغی نینمؤملل لق

نهجورف نظفحیو نهراصبأ نم نضضغی تانمؤملل لقو

Tell the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them.Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.

And tell the believing women to lower their gazes and guard their private parts..

[an-Noor 30-31]

So this is an important matter and a rebuttal of those who say: “The woman is a human being, so why doesshe have to wear this hijaab.” They mock and say: She is like a walking tent; f ollowing worn-out andoutdated practices; this behaviour is restrictive upon the woman; this code of conduct [in Islaam] isbecause of evil suspicions [Muslims have] towards women, and other similar statements of disbelief (kuf r)– and Allaah’s ref uge is sought. And they desire, by making these statements, that the woman should bef ree to do as she pleases.

Rather, a person does not have the f reedom to do as he pleases in matters that have been prohibited byAllaah – or to do that which entails f alsehood and Shirk. He does not have the f reedom to oppose theSharee`ah of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic. For each person is a servant of his Creator, and he is obligedto restrict himself to the Sharee`ah of Allaah, the Most Perf ect, the Most High.

A human has been created by Allaah as a slave. So either he is a slave to Allaah, or he is a slave to theShaytaan. So if he restricts himself to the Sharee`ah of Allaah and His Religion, then he is a slave of Allaah[his Lord and Creator] – and if he exits the Sharee`ah of Allaah and his Religion, and calls to “f reedom” todo as one pleases, then he is a slave to the Shaytaan.

Al-`Allaamah Ibnul-Qayyim (rahimahullaah) said:

They fled from the enslavement of the One for Whom they were created,

And they became enslaved to the soul and the Shaytaan.

Allaah, the Most High, said:

هاوه لإ �هه ذختا نم تیأرفأ

Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire..

[al-Jaathiyah: 23]

So he becomes a slave to his own whims and desires, or enslaved to the Dirham and Deenaar (units ofcurrency), just as the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam) said:

“Miserable indeed is the slave of the Deenaar and the Dirham, and the slave of plushvelvet, silk and luxuries.

He is pleased only if he is given, and displeased when he not given.”

[Bukhaaree 2886, f rom Abu Hurairah]

So a person is without doubt a slave. So either he is a slave to Allaah or, he is slave to someone else.There is no such thing as f reedom to do as one pleases as they claim. Yes, in reality there is not to f oundany f reedom [in f ollowing one's whims and society]. Rather, the true correct f reedom is that one is a slaveto Allaah, and he is thus f ree f rom the enslavement of Shaytaan, and he is f ree f rom the f ollowing ofwhims, and f rom the f ollowing of desires. In this way a person gains true f reedom. If he is a slave to Allaah– he is f ree f rom the worship of the Shaytaan, and f ree f rom the worship of whims and desires. So this isthe true f reedom.

—

Notes:

[1] Ahmad, 14585; Abu Daawood, 2082; Al-Haakim, 2/165. The hadeeth is Hasan].

[2] At-Tirmidhee, 1087; Ibn Maajah, 1866; An-Nasaa’ee, 6/69-70. The hadeeth is Saheeh.

[3] Ibn Maajah, 1864; Ibn Hibbaan, 1866. The chain of narration is weak.