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The Art of War and Peace Optimal Team Performance for Customer Satisfaction

© 2012 Yvette Poole & Associates. All rights reserved

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The Art of War and Peace

Optimal Team Functioning for Customer Satisfaction

Valerie M. Sargent

Why Are We Here?

� To further refine your customer service skills

� To help you with conflict resolution and negotiation, with residents and each other

� To promote an environment of teamwork and communication onsite

Meet Your Facilitator, Valerie Sargent

� In property management since 1989, began as Leasing Consultant in OKLAHOMA!!! ☺

� Began training in 1997: ASTD, NMSA, MultifamilyPro, MProTV

� Expertise: Training, Marketing, Leasing, Sales, Management, Ancillary Services, Employee Morale, Consulting

� Yvette Poole & Associates is a Property Management Consulting Firm based in Southern California

What’s Your Favorite Experience?

Here’s one of mine:

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Soundgardenon stage!!

ME!!!

Dave Grohl of the

Foo Fighters!!

Perceived Customer Service Review

�What the customer PERCEIVES is what is REAL.

� PERCEIVED SERVICE QUALITY is the difference between what a customer expects and what they actually get

Activity – What’s the Story?



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Service Levels – Desired to Fantastic

�Desired Service – the level of service a customer hopes to receive. What’s the difference between Perceived & Desired service?

� Tolerated Response / Adequate Service – what the customer thinks “should” or “can” happen. What’s the difference between Perceived & Adequate service?

� Unsatisfactory

� Okay

� Satisfactory

� Really Good

� Fantastic

Tolerated Response Expectation

Bank Deposit

� 7 people ahead of me

� Long time for transactions

� 3-5 minute wait –my expectation

By Arun Kottolli

YOU Are the One to Make A Difference!

What don’t you control?What don’t you control?

The ProblemThe

Customer’s Reaction

Anger (the Customer’s)

What DO you control?

• Your Response

• Your Attitude

Shhhh … Listen



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Proactive Listening: Genuinely Hear, Understand

How they feel

What they say

What they’d like to say

Noise Other Duties

Impatience

To hear emotions and unspoken meaning, listen to:

Why we can’t hear them:

Building Positive Listening Habits

� Poor Listeners� Tune others out & pre-judge

� Talk when they should be listening

� Fake attention

� Get distracted by emotion and lose temper

�Good Listeners� Defer judgment, listen for feelings & fact

� Listen completely first, value them

� Have internal listening cues, good eye contact

� Feel their anger but control it

“Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.” - Stephen Covey

How Our Listening Goes Off Track

� Responses� Anticipated Issue

� Hurried

� Assumptive

� Impatient

� Confused

� Attitudes� Apathetic

� Know-It-All

� Annoyed

� Resentful

� Bothered

Ways to Transform Angry Customers

� Listen without interrupting

� Agree with their right to complain

� Ask what they want� “What would you like for us to do?”

� “What will work best for you?”

� Thank them for telling you

� Acknowledge their emotions

� Repeat their words

� Apologize for the problem or for their inconvenience

� Take responsibility

� Take action: Call someone or write something down� “Let’s take care of this right now.”

Responsibilities for Customer Contact

� Accept 100% responsibility

� Display a positive attitude

� Admit mistakes

� Accept empowerment

� Set personal performance goals

� Be friendly & harmonious … with everyone

� Greet everyone with a SMILE!

� Solve problems

� Appreciate the job

� Learn continuously

� Know all your team members, strengths

This is Your Brain



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Neural Pathways

Which path do you take???

Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticityoccurs in our brains as we learn new things. The more we practice and repeat something, using that portion of the brain in a focused way, NEW neural pathways develop in your brain!

Dr. Daniel Amen

Change Your Brain,

Change Your Age

The Amen Clinics

- SPECT Scans

www.theamenclinics.net

Light Blue BackgroundIf you want this background,

copy and paste this slide –

I had to recreate this lighter slide

by saving the background.

Which Do You Want??

Signs Your Brain May Be in Trouble

� Poor Memory

� Depression

� Overweight or Obese

� Chronic Insomnia or Sleep Apnea

� High Blood Pressure

� Diabetes

� Brain Injuries

� Automatic Negative Thoughts

Help Your Mind for a Happy Brain

SLEEP!!!

Positive Social Connections

Repetition, Repetition

Habits

Great Diet

Exercise … Environment

NEW Learning

Gratitude

No Negative Thinking



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Fuel for Your Brain

Lean Proteins

Complex Carbohydrates

Beans, Whole Grains, Fiber

Omega 3 Rich Foods

Large Cold Water Fish such as

Tuna or Salmon, Walnuts, Brazil Nuts

Olive Oil, Canola Oil, Avocado

100% Vitamin & Mineral Supplement

Vitamin B, C, D and E

Green Tea

What Does Your Brain Know?! The Best Ways to Work Out

with Your BRAIN

Learning New Things:Review to Increase Recall

1st Review: 10 minutes after each 1 HOUR of learning2nd Review: after 1 day for 2-4 min3rd Review: after 1 week for 2 min

4th Review: after 1 month for 2 min – long term

Memory Tricks

Number Rhymes

1. Bun – Table

2. Shoe – Feather

3. Tree – Cat

Link System

Apple-Cow

Visual: Traits-Words

I’ve Got the Music in Me!

�We all have ideal BAPs – Brain Activity Patterns. Things impacting BAP:�Stress, Environment, Rest, Emotions

�Music Can Help!�Rewires for brain organization

�Natural sounds (5-10 min) refocus

�Playlists – rhythms, frequencies, lyrics

Improving Memory

Train Your Brain

lumosity.com

thegreatcourses.com

brainmetrix.com

balancedview.org

braintraining101.com There’s an APP for that:

Brain Trainer by Lumosity

What Happens When There’s a Problem?



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Conflict Resolution

What is Conflict?

� To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory,or in opposition; clash; to fight or contend; do battle; controversy; quarrel; antagonism or opposition, as of interests or principles; incompatibility or interference, as of one idea, desire, event or activity with another.

�What triggers conflict?� Lack of information

� Miscommunication

� Differing values

� Change in environment

� Something not happening

What Comes to Mind?

�What do you think of when you think about conflict? What words come up for you?

� Fear, pain, destruction, disagreement, anger, discomfort, flight, avoid, loss, battle, frustration, fight, obstacle, opportunity

� Conflict provides the chance for change & development

Examples of Conflicts

�What are some examples of conflict that you can think of that happen onsite?

Approaches to Effective Resolution

� Settlement Driven Conflict Resolution� Success is measured on if an agreement is reached

� Relationship Driven Conflict Resolution� Success is measured on empowering the conflicted parties to create their

own solutions in recognition of one another’s interests

� Occasionally Bring in a Conflict Manager� A neutral third party – can direct the process and facilitate resolution

when needed

� Should help the parties discuss and generate their own ideas & solutions

Communicating During Conflict

� Accept differences while maintaining respect

� Realize people are looking to win or at least survive

� Know that people are preparing for their next arguments (even you!) and don’t listen well to the other person

� Occasionally summarize thoughts that have been raised

� Ask lots of questions

� Involve everyone concerned in the discussion

� You MUST be willing to listen COMPLETELY and understand

� Realize that this takes PRACTICE

�We all negotiate, personally and professionally

� Sometimes COMMUNICATION is a negotiation

�When two people can reach their own agreement, a better working relationship is on the horizon

� The main goal of negotiation is to find a solution

� Negotiating parties must realize they may not get 100% of what they desire

� Steps in negotiation� Conflicting parties must clearly define their own goals & objectives

� The parties must anticipate the other party’s needs & underlying interests

Negotiation is the Simplest Settlement



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Figure Out a BATNA

� If the desired solution is not available to resolve a problem, there should be an alternative solution

� This is known as the Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement, otherwise known as a BATNA (coined by Roger Fisher & William Ury, who wrote Getting to Yes)

� Keeps you from settling for an unacceptable agreement

� Provides understanding of alternatives in advance

Source of Negotiating Information: Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, editor. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (2nd edition). New York: Penguin Group, 1991.

Tips for Preparation

� Focus on how you will investigate options for mutual gain for each party, based on what is available for you to offer

� Prepare objective criteria and standards to suggest for decision making. Consider Fair Housing

�Match your strategy to the situation and style of participants – everyone handles conflict differently

� Plan with the idea that anything can happen, and be open to the twists and turns

Common Negotiation Styles

� Aggressive (or Confrontational): A strong need to control situations; persistent, domineering, decisive

� Assertive (or Persuasive): An approach using facts and logic to uphold position; determined, collaborative, persuasive

� Open (or Responsive): An open personality and good listening skills with a tendency to ask questions; flexible, approachable, understanding

� Avoiding (or Withdrawing): Conflict avoidance and aversion to risk; cautious, compromising

Criteria and Standards

� Focus on the “consistency principle” - Appear reasonable and rational in making decisions

� Beware of deferring to authority based strictly on status. A supervisor should only be brought in if you are not able to resolve the issue.

Everyone should also be on the same page about how the issue is ultimately resolved; therefore the supervisor would reinforce what has already been told, lending credibility and constancy to the overall team approach.

� Identify the other side’s standards as legitimate and anticipate any arguments

Criteria and Standards

Negotiations should involve:

� A wise agreement based on principles and interests

� An efficient process for open communication

� An improved relationship between the parties at the end of the conversation (or at minimum, a neutral one)

Tips for Communication

� Pay attention to cultural differences in both verbal and nonverbal communication

� Ask for an interpreter to be there if necessary

� Be sensitive to the mood or atmosphere during the discussion

� Keep your demeanor calm; do not match heightened emotions

� Keep the people and the problem separate; avoid focusing on egos

� Do NOT make things personal

� Listen more and speak less

� Sometimes people just need to be heard to feel understood



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Nonverbal Communication

� Be aware of your counterpart’s nonverbal behaviors (i.e., gestures, tone of voice, posture, facial expression)

� What are some examples

� Be aware of your own nonverbal behaviors and mood

� What can accidentally come across?

� Respond appropriately to the other side’s nonverbal behaviors to be more receptive

� What are some ways we can do this?

When Proposing A Solution

� To resolve a conflict or concern, offer a solution to the issue (specific suggestions for action)

� Clarify roles to carry out the deal

� Determine any deadlines and incremental steps

� Decide a process for ongoing communication

Tips for Proposing A Solution

� Base suggestions on uncovered interests and mutual gain

� Be realistic and reasonable with deadlines and expectations

� Engage others to determine next steps and processes

�Match roles with individual strengths

� Focus on achieving the primary goals of the negotiation

Gaining Commitment

� Secure commitment, not just agreement, to the solution

� Establish accountability to each other

� (i.e., what will be lost if either party fails to perform?)

� Gain signatures on a written agreement to bind the commitment if necessary

Deciding on Deciding on Negotiation TacticsNegotiation Tactics

Ask yourself questions such as these:Ask yourself questions such as these:

��What is the level of trust?What is the level of trust?

��What time constraints, if any, exist?What time constraints, if any, exist?

�� How open is everyone to different outcomes?How open is everyone to different outcomes?

��What outcome is desired?What outcome is desired?

Think about:Think about:

�� The people involved and their stylesThe people involved and their styles

�� Anticipating the other person’s behaviorAnticipating the other person’s behavior

�� Deciding how to respond to anticipated behaviorsDeciding how to respond to anticipated behaviors

Barriers to Negotiation



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Common Barriers to Negotiation

Many barriers exist that can hinder the progress of a negotiation and negatively affect its chances of success. These can include characteristics or the personalities of the parties involved and adversarial tactics.

� Communication Barriers: Examples include poor documentation of conversations, lack of dialogue, or bad listening behavior

� Cultural or Gender Barriers: Examples include language difficulties, misunderstandings, or pace of work

Source: Watkins, Michael. Negotiation. Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2003.

Common Barriers

� Saboteur (Spoiler): A key stakeholder who tries to block the negotiation; can be an active or passive resistor

� Lack of Trust: A weak relationship between the parties; tension or skepticism of reliability may be factors

� Lack of Information: One or both sides fail to provide necessary information about issues, criteria, desired outcomes, or interests

� Battle of Wills: One person views each negotiation as a test of wills; could lead to bluffing or attempts to trip up the other side

Overcoming Barriers

�Work through the planning process to understand all issues and people involved

� Anticipate questions and problems the other side may have

� Set clear expectations at the start

� Use win-win tactics to counter tactics that are more adversarial

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Trust in Negotiations & Conflict Resolution

� The more the other party trusts you, the better the chances of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.

� Characteristics such as dependability, honesty, and integrity are important when building trust.

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Trust in Negotiations

Think about people you trust. What characteristics and behaviors do they exhibit

that lead you to trust them?

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Tips for Building Trust

� Be knowledgeable about the topics and issues involved in the negotiation

� Follow through on commitments

� Dress and behave in a professional manner

� Be responsive to the other side’s needs

� Communicate well; listen

Source: Stark, Peter B., and Jane Flaherty. The Only Negotiating Guide You’ll Ever Need: 101 Ways to Win Every Time in Any Situation. New York: Broadway Books, 2003.



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Tips for Building Trust

� Show genuine interest in their point of view

� Ask good questions to probe for information and shared interests

� Think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity (there’s plenty for all)

� Use fair standards and criteria

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Questioning Techniques

� Brainstorm questions to ask your resident or customer before a negotiation conversation

� Start with broad questions – adapt as you go

� To put them at ease, use appropriate small talk

� Be sensitive to your counterpart’s feelings and mood

� Listen closely as the person answers your questions; avoid interruptions

�Write down the responses; helps capture information and shows respect

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The Untrustworthy

Think about someone you do not trust. What are some ways you can protect yourself and your organization during negotiations with an untrustworthy person?

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Understand Their Point of View

� Prepare to look at things from both your and the other side’s point of view

� Clarify the purpose of the negotiation for both sides

� Arm yourself well with facts to boost trust and confidence

�What is the ideal outcome?

�What are all of the issues to be addressed?

What Does SUCCESS Look Like?

� BATNA: Has the deal been measured against the Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement?

� Relationship: Did the negotiation result in both parties being interested in working together again in the future?

� Options: Have you looked for innovative and effective solutions with mutual benefit?

� Interests: Are all interests satisfied to an acceptable level as a result of the actions?

What Does SUCCESS Look Like?

� Criteria: Did we use objective, agreed-upon criteria to select an option?

� Communication: Did the negotiations create an environment of open, respectful communication?

� Commitment: Is a realistic, workable plan in place, with agreement from all parties?

Source: Watkins, Michael. Negotiation. Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2003.



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Effective Negotiators

� Support the goals of the organization during the negotiation

� What are the policies & procedures surrounding the issue?

� Is everyone in the company in alignment on the solution?

� Prepare before and during the negotiation process

� Recognize potential obstacles & find ways around them

� Build relationships & earn support from others

� Be trustworthy, ethical, and reliable

� Keep negotiation about issues and not about people

Effective Negotiators

� Learn more about the other side’s interests and issues during the negotiation

� Help the other side investigate interests and approach issues with creativity

� Make the other side feel understood

Setting Goals for Resolution

� Always enter a negotiation situation with specific goals

� Think about what you really want – what is most important (for the property/company)

� Set a realistic target (for all – not just you!)

� Be specific; use numbers & measures as much as possible

� Commit to the goal by sharing it with others and making it available in printed form

� Take the goal with you into negotiation conversations

Understanding the Heart of a Conflict

It’s important to understand why a conflict has occurred. You must discover:

� Reasons behind the conflict

� The person’s interest in its resolution

� Barriers to its resolution

� Strategies to its resolution

� Both side’s willingness to participate in a collaborative search for solutions

� Realize that there is Reactive Conflict Management, and Proactive Conflict Management – what is the difference?

Have Some Ground Rules for Resolution

� It’s important to make people comfortable

� Share all relevant information

� Use questions to test assumptions or inferences

� Explain reasons and motivations behind what you say

�Work as a group & avoid side conversations when there are multiple parties involved

� Disagree with opinions if necessary, but don’t attack the person

�Work on gaining consensus – it doesn’t mean everyone likes the solution equally, but it is the agreed upon action to move forward

Styles of Conflict Management

� Competing – Tries to meet her own needs without regard to the others involved

� Accommodating – Neglects his own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person

� Avoiding – Head in the sand approach … they don’t address the conflict

� Collaborating – Works with the other person to find a solution that works for both sides

� Compromising – Seeks to split the difference in a way that partially satisfies both parties

What conflict?!



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Questions to Draw Out Conflict

�What is your understanding of the situation?

�What do you believe caused it to occur?

�What are the underlying issues that led to the situation?

� How has it affected you?

� How do you think this situation can be resolved?

�What might stand in the way of resolving it?

� How would you be willing to help resolve the issues?

�Who else should I talk to about this?

Creating Positive Conflict Resolution

Ultimately, you must model these techniques:

� Listen

� Summarize

� Ask questions

� Involve all parties in the conversation

� Deal with emotions

� Recognize biases

� Pay attention to body language

� Come up with a broader solution for both sides

Always Clarify for Resolution ☺ Have You Read the Lease??

�Most of you should know and be able to answer common questions – make the customer feel taken care of when you handle them on the spot

Be empowered!

Things to Remember

� If you can’t answer a questions, don’t say something like, “You need to So-and-So” – Connect them directly

�Walk them to the correct place if there in person

� Stop what you’re doing and provide a high level of CUSTOMER SERVICE

� If someone is there in person and needs us, THEY are our priority … not paperwork

� Honor appointment times and greet them promptly

� The customer is NOT an imposition

� If you need 5 minutes to wrap something up, tell them

� Stay within policy, but have empathy for the customer

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Be Better Together

Copy this slide for white content

I had to recreate this background from

the original slide, so use this one

for copy-paste duplication. ☺

Teamwork & Communication

Are You Fully Engaged on the Team?

ACTIVELY DISENGAGED DISENGAGED PASSIVELY

ENGAGED

FULLY ENGAGED

Bored & frustrated at work Often feel

underutilized

Do what you are told Constantly learning & taking

calculated risks

Make sarcastic jokes about

work

Spend time taking

care of personal

needs

Stick to what you know Feel stretched beyond your

comfort zone

Speak poorly about the

company & leaders

Do just enough to

get by & not get in

trouble

Face many barriers outside

your control

Take personal satisfaction in

the quality of your work

Look for ways to find blame Pay is a big reason

why you stay

Rarely stretched by

assignments

Work can be stressful but is

also rewarding & fun

You quit and stay You’re putting in

the time

It’s a job You love your job!

�What value does teamwork have?

�Why is teamwork important to your job?

�What do you think are the most critical behaviors for a team player to display?

Questions to Consider

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Super Teamwork Key Behaviors

Activity

Are You a Team Player? Share Your Results

� Select one strength and one area of opportunity to share

� Compare strengths and weaknesses

� Take back to YOUR teams! As a group, what are two strengths and two areas of opportunity that everyone in the group shares?



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Power to Observe

Both in yourself, and in Others

Behavior

Language

How Do You Listen? Super Hearing Skills

Activity

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Do You Have Super Hearing?

� Answer all questions on the listening skills inventory from your own point of view.

� Then, re-take the assessment, responding the way you think a co-worker, team member, or a family member would rate you.

� Calculate both scores.

Listening is a GREAT wayTo Have Team Spirit and Great Customer Service

Top 7 Listening Sins

1. Making evaluative judgments

2. Avoiding eye contact

3. Failing to indicate interest via body language

4. Multitasking

5. Interrupting in the middle of a sentence or story

6. Failing to clarify meaning

7. Not letting someone know when I can’t listen

Top 7 Listening Virtues

1. Refraining from evaluative judgments

2. Maintaining eye contact

3. Encouraging the speaker with my body language

4. Focusing on the listener and not other tasks

5. Staying quiet until the speaker finishes

6. Asking questions and reflecting the speaker’s message to make sure I understand

7. Being honest about times I can’t really listen

It’s Not Just WHAT You Say …

� I have an idea.

� You’re not listening to me.

� You want to do what?

� I like your idea.

� Have you considered what it will take to implement your idea?

� Could you get to the point?



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Consider Non-VerbalsConsider Non-Verbals

�More than 60 % of the message is nonverbal –facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and so forth.

�Movement, voice, facial expressions, and gestures affect the impact of your message.

�Most people can dramatically improve their personal effectiveness by focusing on both howand what.

Effective Communication

What are some ways in which you model good team communication?

What are some ways in which you set a bad model of communication on your team?

Things That Impact Team Culture

Automatic Negative Thoughts

� Ask yourself: “Is this true?”

Avoid Blame

� Publically acknowledge your own mistakes.

�When blaming someone else, do so politely and privately; when praising someone, do so publically.

� Understand that when you make a mistake it is a learning opportunity.



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Office Gossip is Poison

� Have some juicy news about someone or something?

KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! ☺

� GOSSIP is a sensational rant that almost always begins with a topic that never directly affects the people who are discussing it.

� A RUMOR is a testimonial or opinion that may or may not be true.

Ways to Avoid Gossip

� 1. Focus on one person you can help in your office each week

Random act of kindness

� 2. Once a month give an outward expression of gratitude

A thoughtful gesture

� 3. Write a thank you note when your colleague helps you with something important report or has a big success

Show you are proud and appreciate them

� 4. Be sensitive to other cultures, customs & celebrations

A little sensitivity goes a long way

� 5. Quiet the office grapevine

Use a weekly 10 minute team meeting to discuss and bond

Just Say NO to Whining

The Problem with Whining

By Seth Godin

“The first is that it doesn’t work. You can whine about the government or your friends or your job or your family, but nothing will happen except that you’ll waste time.

Worse … far worse … is that whining is a reverse placebo. When you get good at whining, you start noticing evidence that makes your whining more true. So you amplify that and immerse yourself in it, thus creating more evidence, more stuff worth complaining about.

If you spent the same time prattling on about how optimistic you are, you’d have to work hard to make that true.”

Revolutionary Agreements

� 12 Ways to Transform Stress and Struggle into Freedom and Joy

� By Marian Head

http://revolutionarychoices.com



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Truth

I agree to:

� Live my mission

� Speak my truth, with compassion

� Look within when I react

� Keep doing what works and change what doesn’t

I Agree to Live My Mission

�What is your mission?

� Live courageously

� Realize the impact of your mission on everyday life� Work

� School

� Family

� Relationships

� Ask: What are 3 ways I can experience the essence of my mission every day?

�What one small change can you make today to live the essence of your mission?

I Agree to Speak My Truth, with Compassion

� Practice authenticity in word and deed

� Compassion means we’re sensitive to those around us

� People don’t speak truth because of fear

� Avoid white lies

� The power of the truth

� Avoid politeness at honesty’s expense

� Be truthful with all, including customers

� Ask yourself about different people:� Do I always speak my truth with this person?

� Do I always speak with compassion and consider the person’s feelings?

I Agree to Look Within When I React

�We control our own buttons

� Realize that comments or judgments made about us have to do with how a person feels about himself or herself, not as much about you

� If you are reacting personally, go inside and figure out where the emotional charge is coming from

� Find something in your own behavior that is similar

� Ask how you feel when YOU behave that way

� Observe your emotions

I Agree to Keep Doing What Works AndChange What Doesn’t

� You can continue doing something and feel victimized

� You can stop doing it

� Or you can change your attitude about it

� Choose and Re-Choose Your Situations

� Be able to talk about things that are working, and things that could be better, and help find change

�Make a list – 10 things that are working for you, and 10 things that aren’t working for you

�What jumps out?

�What changes can you make for more joy & fulfillment?

Acceptance

I agree to:

� Listen with my heart

� Respect our differences

� Resolve conflicts directly

� Honor our choices



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I Agree to Listen with My Heart

� Listen to others as you would have them listen to you

� Listening doesn’t mean problem solving – sometimes it just means someone gets to be heard

� Listening empowers others

� It is for the other person, not so much for us

� Listen without judgment

� Listen without thinking about what to say next

� Think about how you’ll listen better with your heart

I Agree to Respect Our Differences

� Realize that sometimes we have common goals, but different paths

� There is unity in diversity

� Don’t let irritating little things ruin your day

� Respect differences in beliefs� This doesn’t necessarily mean you agree

� Think about the people or circumstances in your life are that you have the most difficulty with, and what bugs you most.

�What might be a positive of that same behavior or situation, and how can you change your attitude to appreciation?

I Agree to Resolve Conflicts Directly

� Rather than complaining to someone else about something, go directly to the source and clear up any misunderstanding or issue

� Avoid rumors, gossip and destructive conversations

� Handle problem solving as soon as possible

� Incorporate other agreements (Speak Your Truth, With Compassion, etc.)

� Some good phrases:� Something doesn’t feel right

� Why did you say that to me? That didn’t feel good?

� This isn’t working for me – can we look at another approach?

� Be OPEN if someone comes to you to resolve conflict

I Agree to Honor Our Choices

� There are no “bad” decisions

� Focus on the positive aspects

� There are no “mistakes”

� If you make mistakes, you made decisions and took risks

�What did you learn?

� Perspective comes later

� Accept and forgive people, and don’t judge

Gratitude

I agree to:

� Give and receive thanks

� See the best in myself and others

� Look for blessings in disguise

� Lighten up!

I Agree to Give and Receive Thanks

� Find gratitude in the moment

� Find reasons to say thank you to others … for everything!

� Feel gratitude for things to come – the law of attraction� Attach emotion to this

� Receive thanks gratefully and say “You’re welcome.”

� Thank yourself for your contributions

�When we appreciate something, it appreciates in value

� Keep a gratitude journal



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I Agree to See the Best in Myself & Others

� To see the best in yourself allows you to raise your standards

� Foster an environment of collaboration

� Try to see the best in each other

�What steps can you take to empower each other?

�What small change can you make to switch from “average” to “excellent” performance?

I Agree to Look for Blessings in Disguise

� Think about something that happened that seemed “bad” at the time, but turned out to change your life for the better

�When bad things happen, try to find some good

� Trust the process – turn lemons into lemonade

� Ask yourself, “Was there anything good that came out of that?”

� Remember that everything unfolds as it should, even when we don’t or can’t understand it

I Agree to Lighten Up!

�Who’s responsible for having a good time at the party? That would be YOU!

� Stop waiting, and live a positive life

� Enjoy the moment, every moment

�Would you rather suffer through, or enjoy?

� In moments of darkness, laugh at the absurdity of life (laugh that you can’t find a single thing to enjoy!)

�What is one thing you can do to lighten up your life today?

�When you lighten up, you light up the world!

The ONE Agreement

� If nothing else, choose this:

I agree to BE MYSELF

� Remember that the future is NOW

� You are creating your future in this very moment

�What do you CHOOSE?

� Create a positive world

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Perspective

Focus on what is REALLY important in life.

What is your purpose? What is your legacy?

Ruth Halverson Noe (with hubby Mike)

Wisdom



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