the art of self coaching @ stanford gsb, class 2: change
TRANSCRIPT
The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coachingEd Batista
Class 2: April 10, 2015
Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
Where are we
Self-engagement & mental models
Mindset & change
Goals & grit
going?
How will we
Short lectures
Work with your partners
Two coaching conversations
get there?
Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
Concepts 1 15 mins
A coaching conversation 30 mins
Concepts 2 15 mins
Another conversation 30 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
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Before we getdown to business
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Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-engagement
Starting point
An attitude toward ourselves
A dialogue with ourselves
Mental models
Perceptions shape reality
Photo by Carmelo Speltino [link]
A mental model about ourselves
Carol Dweck
How do we perceive our abilities?
How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset
Photo by Mike Disharoon [link]
Talent & intelligence
are inherent traits
Mistakes are failures or
character flaws
Negative emotional
response to mistakes
Talent & intelligence
can be developed
Mistakes are learning
opportunities
Less upset by mistakes
(= More learning)
Fixed Growth
Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Diminished sense of
agency
Seeking approval &
affirmation
Risk-averse & defeated
by setbacks
Heightened sense of
agency
Seeking challenges &
growth
Risk-tolerant & can
accept setbacks
Fixed Growth
Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Mindset &self-coaching
Look for signs of a fixed or growth mindset
Recognize it as a mental model
One to challenge or affirm
Kurt Lewin & Edgar Schein
Why is change so difficult?
Why do we resist it?
Change
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Behavior is stable
We’re frozen in patterns
Change
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Driving forces favor change
Restraining forces resist it
Change
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Patterns keep these forces balanced
Change requires unfreezing
Change
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Driving force = Survival anxiety
I must change in order to
to achieve my goals
Change
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Restraining force = Learning anxiety
Change means a new identity
or loss of self-esteem
Change
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Increase survival anxiety to change?
Or decrease learning anxiety?
Both are necessary
Change
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Three steps to unfreezing
1. Disconfirmation
Dissatisfaction created
by confounding data
Necessary but insufficient
(Dismissal, denial, blame)
Change
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Three steps to unfreezing
2. A little survival anxiety
Confounding data =
I need to change
Change
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Three steps to unfreezing
3. Psychological safety
Critical to overcoming
defensiveness & denial
Change
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Threat from survival anxiety must
be balanced by sufficient safety
to decrease learning anxiety
Change
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Change =
Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Psychological safety
Change
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Change& mindset
We can be attached to our fixed mindset
Letting go can be threatening
We must feel safe to change
Change& mindset
Growth mindset = work in progress
New attitude or behavior ≠ new identity
Mistakes & setbacks = learning opportunities
Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Not “My problem’s worse”
Or “Look on the bright side”
Or “Here’s some advice…”
Photo by John Trainor [link]
When we are…
Able
Committed
Unconflicted
Goals support performance
Goals
However…
Learning > Performance?
Threats = Counter-productive
May diminish enjoyment & motivation
Goals
Photo by John Trainor [link]
Effective goals…
Generate feedback
Heighten commitment
Don’t obscure the big picture
Goals
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Goals &
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Goals ≠ bad
But be careful
Get curious about failure
self-coaching
Grit
Angela Duckworth
Perseverance matters
Long-term stamina > Short-term intensity
Photo by Maria Ly [link]
Grit
Positive correlation with achievement
Negative correlation with talent
More talent = Less persistence?
Photo by Maria Ly [link]
Grit
Highest achievers = Talent + grit?
Deliberate practice Achievement
Grittier people practice harder & longer
Photo by Maria Ly [link]
Grit &
Tentative findings
Growth mindset & optimism
Emotion management (Next week)
Resilience (May 1)
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self-coaching
Grit &
One certainty…
Conscious willpower is insufficient
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self-coaching
To sum up
Make it safe to change
Cultivate a growth mindset
Goals are medicine, not food
Grit may be a virtuous by-product
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-engagement
Our mental models of ourselves matter
An ongoing dialogue is essential
Coaching, journaling, reflection
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An exercise
Emotional Style Assessment
60 true/false questions
Generally true or generally false
Go with your gut; don’t deliberate
An exercise
Before next week’s class…
Complete it (10 mins)
Then score it (10 mins)
Then read Davidson
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An exercise
Take note…
“Resilience” in Davidson = “Recovery Time”
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