the art of dating well. but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will...

The Art of Dating WellThe Art of Dating WellThe Art of Dating WellThe Art of Dating Well


But seek first His kingdom and His But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.its own.

Matthew 6:33-Matthew 6:33-3434

But seek first His kingdom and His But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.its own.

Matthew 6:33-Matthew 6:33-3434


Do not let kindness and truth leave Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Proverbs Proverbs 3:33:3

Do not let kindness and truth leave Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Proverbs Proverbs 3:33:3


DATE:DATE:

• A social engagement between two A social engagement between two people of the opposite sex for the people of the opposite sex for the purpose of getting to know each other purpose of getting to know each other and determining if there is potential for and determining if there is potential for a long-term relationship.a long-term relationship.

• A date is the first step in getting to A date is the first step in getting to know each other! know each other!

DATE:DATE:

• A social engagement between two A social engagement between two people of the opposite sex for the people of the opposite sex for the purpose of getting to know each other purpose of getting to know each other and determining if there is potential for and determining if there is potential for a long-term relationship.a long-term relationship.

• A date is the first step in getting to A date is the first step in getting to know each other! know each other!


DATING:DATING:

An exclusive relationship between two An exclusive relationship between two people that has been people that has been clearlyclearly communicated. communicated.

DATING:DATING:

An exclusive relationship between two An exclusive relationship between two people that has been people that has been clearlyclearly communicated. communicated.


““FRATING” (OR “SUPER-FRIEND”) FRATING” (OR “SUPER-FRIEND”) ::

A relationship somewhere in the gray A relationship somewhere in the gray area with little or no communication or area with little or no communication or commitment, but an implicit commitment, but an implicit expectation of relational closeness and expectation of relational closeness and maybe even exclusivity.maybe even exclusivity.

““FRATING” (OR “SUPER-FRIEND”) FRATING” (OR “SUPER-FRIEND”) ::

A relationship somewhere in the gray A relationship somewhere in the gray area with little or no communication or area with little or no communication or commitment, but an implicit commitment, but an implicit expectation of relational closeness and expectation of relational closeness and maybe even exclusivity.maybe even exclusivity.

Dating vs. Frating Dating vs. Frating Dating vs. Frating Dating vs. Frating

DATING FRATING


DATING FRATING“Can I take you out to

dinner on Friday?”



dinner on Friday?”“Have you eaten? Chuy’s

is open now!”




is open now!”“Would you like to go to a

movie with me on Saturday?”






“Have you seen that movie? You wanna go?

You can buy the popcorn!”








“Hey, it’s been fun to go on these dates. Do you

want to be my girlfriend?”








“Hey, it’s been fun to go on these dates. Do you

want to be my girlfriend?”

“What? (Oh no!) You like me? I thought we were just really good

friends.”


Principles of Asking (for men):Principles of Asking (for men):

-- Be straightforward and honest (Eph Be straightforward and honest (Eph 4:25). No “frating” or “super-friend.” 4:25). No “frating” or “super-friend.”

- Don’t jump the gun!Don’t jump the gun!

- Know when to accept “no” (or when Know when to accept “no” (or when persistence becomes stalking).persistence becomes stalking).

Principles of Asking (for men):Principles of Asking (for men):

-- Be straightforward and honest (Eph Be straightforward and honest (Eph 4:25). No “frating” or “super-friend.” 4:25). No “frating” or “super-friend.”

- Don’t jump the gun!Don’t jump the gun!

- Know when to accept “no” (or when Know when to accept “no” (or when persistence becomes stalking).persistence becomes stalking).


Satisfy us in the morning with Your Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.and be glad all our days.

Psalm Psalm 90:1490:14

Satisfy us in the morning with Your Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.and be glad all our days.

Psalm Psalm 90:1490:14


Principles of Responding (for women):Principles of Responding (for women):

- If it’s a yes – YES!If it’s a yes – YES!

- If it’s a maybe – give him a chance.If it’s a maybe – give him a chance.

- If it’s a no If it’s a no -- “Thank you for asking, -- “Thank you for asking, but I’m not interested.” but I’m not interested.”

Principles of Responding (for women):Principles of Responding (for women):

- If it’s a yes – YES!If it’s a yes – YES!

- If it’s a maybe – give him a chance.If it’s a maybe – give him a chance.

- If it’s a no If it’s a no -- “Thank you for asking, -- “Thank you for asking, but I’m not interested.” but I’m not interested.”


The Actual Dating Stuff (for men):The Actual Dating Stuff (for men):

-- Be a gentleman.Be a gentleman.

- Protect her purity (Heb 13:4; Protect her purity (Heb 13:4; 1 Thess 4:3-6). 1 Thess 4:3-6).

-- Be honest and straightforward at all Be honest and straightforward at all times (Proverbs 3:3).times (Proverbs 3:3).

The Actual Dating Stuff (for men):The Actual Dating Stuff (for men):

-- Be a gentleman.Be a gentleman.

- Protect her purity (Heb 13:4; Protect her purity (Heb 13:4; 1 Thess 4:3-6). 1 Thess 4:3-6).

-- Be honest and straightforward at all Be honest and straightforward at all times (Proverbs 3:3).times (Proverbs 3:3).


The Actual Dating Stuff (for women):The Actual Dating Stuff (for women):

-- Be a lady – honor him with what you Be a lady – honor him with what you wear, say, and do.wear, say, and do.

-- Decide your purity standards Decide your purity standards beforebefore you go.you go.

-- Don’t get too far ahead of yourself!Don’t get too far ahead of yourself!

The Actual Dating Stuff (for women):The Actual Dating Stuff (for women):

-- Be a lady – honor him with what you Be a lady – honor him with what you wear, say, and do.wear, say, and do.

-- Decide your purity standards Decide your purity standards beforebefore you go.you go.

-- Don’t get too far ahead of yourself!Don’t get too far ahead of yourself!


• More questions answered on the Grace More questions answered on the Grace College Life blog. College Life blog.

grace-bible.org grace-bible.org Ministries Ministries College College College Blog College Blog February 2011 February 2011

• More questions answered on the Grace More questions answered on the Grace College Life blog. College Life blog.

grace-bible.org grace-bible.org Ministries Ministries College College College Blog College Blog February 2011 February 2011

the art of dating well. but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will...

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