the ancient and honorable order of e clampus vitus · pbc h andbook - etr l beck ch p r, ecv r vis...
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Page 1 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
The Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus ®
(Serious shit!)
KEEP this Book with you at ALL TIMES. The importance of this handout cannot be stressed enough.
(It may be the only toilet paper in camp!)
Table of Contents
An Introduction to E Clampus Vitus .................................................................................................................. 2
A Letter from the Humbug .................................................................................................................................. 3
A Short History of the Peter Lebeck Chapter, #1866 ........................................................................................ 4
PBC Schedule....................................................................................................................................................... 5
PBC Rules ............................................................................................................................................................. 6
PBC Etiquette ........................................................................................................................................................ 7
50 Odd Questions for Odd PBC's on Serious California History............................................................... 8
Greybeards and Current Officers .................................................................................................................... 10
PBC Entertainment ........................................................................................................................................... 11
Glossary of ECV Terms...................................................................................................................................... 14
Important PBC Notes ......................................................................................................................................... 16
Your Name (like anyone gives a damn)
Your Sponsor (the person who thought you deserved this)
This is not in RED, because lowly PBC's are not allowed to possess anything of that sacred color.
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Page 2 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
An Introduction to E Clampus Vitus ®
Congratulations on your decision to seek admittance into the Ancient and Honorable Order of E
Clampus Vitus. Prior to being awarded your entry-level title of "Poor Blind Candidate," or "PBC,"
there are a few things to cover. If after reading the following you choose to proceed, you are agreeing
to act as expected and subject yourself to the authority of the Hangman.
What is a PBC in for?
A PBC will be directed by the Hangman (or his appointee) to performing simple chores, assisting in
the preparation of meals, entertaining the Redshirts, and possibly light construction of historical
interest. During these activities a PBC will be taunted, vilified, humiliated, cursed, and insulted.
However, a PBC will not be physically harmed (at least not seriously).
What is expected of a PBC and his Sponsor?
If you choose to proceed, both are expected to:
1. At least 21 years old AND sober at all times!!!
2. Keep the Hangman informed to ensure the safety of our PBC's:
o Does your PBC have a physical or mental limitation?
o Has a PBC reached his physical or mental limit during the day’s events?
o Are GC rules for PBC initiations being violated?
3. Learn and accept the structure, rules, and traditions of ECV. (PBC Rules are presented later in
this pamphlet) For example, be prepared to honor the following traditions during your
initiation:
o PBC’s DO NOT wear or touch the color RED, this is reserved for Clampers ONLY!
o A PBC is expected to provide a token bribe the Greybeard council when called for
interrogation. Hint: the current Humbug prefers Bailey’s & good whiskey.
o Tell at least one good joke. (“hole” jokes and puns will earn extra credit)
4. Follow the Hangman's instructions over those of anyone else, no matter their title or position.
5. If a PBC decides ECV may not be so great after all, let the hangman know IMMEDIATELY.
The PBC will be allowed to exit the initiation and return to his camp with his Sponsor. If after a
period of reflection, the PBC decides to not follow through with the initiation, the man is expected
to pack-up and leave camp.
6. Enjoy your experience and have fun.
What do you get out of all this abuse?
A new and enlightening experience that you shall not soon forget.
You will be awarded the title of Officer of Equal Indignity, and be fully aware of the importance and
substance of ECV. You will be ready to instruct future PBC's who may seek admittance into the
Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus. You may even brag about this day to the future
PBC's suckers whom you recruit to ECV.
Remember your behavior and actions reflect on your Sponsor -- act accordingly.
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Page 3 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
A Letter from the Humbug
No matter what you do in life, what kind of car, truck, or motorcycle you drive, who
you know or how important you think you are, today you are a PBC, a Poor Blind
Candidate. That means you are lower than whale shit, grosser than rat puke.
However, should you successfully complete your initiation you will become a member
of the world's oldest fraternal organization, the Ancient & Honorable Order of E
Clampus Vitus.
During the day, you will be taunted, vilified, humiliated, cursed, worked, instructed, and
insulted. But you will not be physically harmed - at least not seriously. In the future,
you may even brag about this day to the future PBC's suckers whom you recruit into
ECV.
Remember, we’re all here to have fun. Today it will be at your expense. If you can't
take it, leave now. Don't embarrass yourself and your sponsor by causing trouble.
Every Clamper has suffered the trials you will suffer. United States Presidents,
Supreme Court Justices, governors, judges, Senators, congressmen, doctors, lawyers,
professors, organ grinders, salesmen, roughnecks, carpenters, substitute teachers,
monsignors and clergymen have all done it. No man can be a member without passing
the ritual. In the end, you'll agree it was worth every second.
Here are some rules to help you through the day. Heed them well! Others have chosen
to ignore them, to their great sorrow.
You will be made to do labor
You will be made to wear funny clothing.
You'll sing silly songs and recite prose.
You will serve the Clampers in attendance today.
Whatever is commanded to you by the Hangman, DO IT!
Remember, you paid good money for this so you may as well enjoy it. We will!
It is a good idea to wear old clothing (none of it red, even the labels!) for the initiation
which you wouldn't mind getting rid of or donating to a hazardous waste disposal
facility. Before you are turned over the Hangman and the Vigilantes (the guys in
white), make sure to leave your wallet, keys, eyeglasses, and other valuables and
breakables with your sponsor. That way, at least they will be safe. We hope!
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Page 4 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
A Short History of the Peter Lebeck Chapter, #1866
In the beginning, California had only two chapters of E Clampus Vitus. There was Yerba Buena #1
Chapter in San Francisco for Northern California. Platrix Chapter #2 had the southern region as its
protectorate. But, that area was too large for the membership to adequately attend meetings and other
functions.
About 1957, a group of scholarly, yet jovial, Clampers began to see the historical and logistical sense of
creating a separate chapter in Kern County. After several organizational meetings, they decided to do
just that.
The Grand Council of E Clampus Vitus the governing board was petitioned to allow the secession
from Platrix Chapter and formation of the new chapter. It was originally thought that it should be
called the Ft. Tejon Chapter, as that location is of great historical value in Kern County. Other names
mentioned were; the "Colonel Thomas Baker Chapter" for the founder of Bakersfield, the "Edward F.
Beale Chapter" for the man who brought the news of the California gold strikes to the east, and the
"Peter Lebeck Chapter" for the inept bear fighter buried at Ft. Tejon.
Because the least was known about Lebeck, and therefore less controversy was expected, that name
was chosen. In 1961, the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus granted a charter to the "Peter Lebeck
Chapter, #1866" for the protectorate of Kern County, to be headquartered in Bakersfield. Our Chapter
number, 1866, was chosen as the year that Kern County was incorporated in the State of California.
The first Noble Grand Humbug president was Ralph Kreiser (deceased).
What is known about Peter Lebeck is that on October 17, 1837 he was killed by an “X bear,” and is
buried at what is now Ft. Tejon State Park. We think an X bear is a California grizzly, due to the
formation of that letter in their fur during the winter months. Also, we think that Mr. Lebeck true
name was probably Pierre Levesque, a French trapper and hunter. When his body was exhumed in
1955, they found an 1836 French five-franc gold piece buried with him. But, it's really all speculation.
Our chapter has placed numerous monuments throughout Kern County over the years. They
memorialize events and people from various periods in our history including the early days of the
1800's, the Kern's "Oil Rush" period of the early 20th Century, our continuing leadership role in
American agriculture, and our place in the futuristic aerospace industry. We usually have two
Clampouts (historical excursions) per year, and a Widow's Ball, where we honor our wives for putting
up with our foolishness. Our Clampouts are in the desert and the mountains, and everywhere in
between. As a Clamper, you are welcome to join us any time.
The Peter Lebeck Chapter was proud to be the host of the Southern Alliance 6-way Clampout in
California City in October of 2006. Over 1100 Clampers attended that event from all over the country.
We look forward to many more years of preserving history for the citizens of Kern County. And, we
will do it in the best Clamper traditions of brotherhood and frivolity. Please feel free to stop in and
find out more about us at our website: http://www.peterLebeckecv.com
ECV/PXL P . O . Box 384 Bakersfield, CA 93302
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Page 5 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
PBC Schedule Friday
0905
(9:05AM) Early Arrival - Set up your camp then assist with Clampsite set up and prepare for evening chow.
Take a moment and meet the Goat.
1631
(4:31PM)
PBC's will report to the cook shack under the direction of the Clamp Chef “Airdale.”
2007
(8:07 PM) PBC & Sponsor must present themselves to the Humbug, VNGH and the Hangman for survival
lessons: PBC's lesson #1 - "Don't M E S S with the Hangman!"
PBC's lesson #2 - "Fear and Loathing in a Clampsite, A PBC's Guide to Success"
2105
(9:05 PM) PXL “Yucca – Off” Commences
PBC’s should get a good SOBER night’s sleep. Saturday is going to be a loooong day
Saturday
0801
(8:01 AM)
ALL PBCs report to the Field Kitchen. Check in with the hangman and help prepare morning chow.
Don’t get caught slacken or you may have to get a pack’en.
0900
(9:00 AM)
PBC EAT FIRST - All PBC’s perform KP to clean the kitchen.
1031
(10:31 AM)
ALL PBC's and Sponsors report to the Hangman. PBC Must be clean & sober. No Retreads!
1043-1257
(10:43AM to
12:57PM)
PBC Lesson - ECV History
1300
(1:00 PM)
ALL PBC's report to the Hangman for PBC Oympics and afternoon delights.
1433
(2:33PM)
PBC Interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
1531
(3:31 PM)
ALL PBCs report to the Field Kitchen. Under the direction of the Clamp Chef “Airdale.”
Help prepare and serve the evening meal.
1701
(5:01PM)
Dinner- steak ala “Airdale” with his Clamper beans & other vittles for your enjoyment.
After Dinner ALL PBC’s clean the Pots & Pans and clean the kitchen
1915
(7:15 PM)
Necrology Ceremony (if needed) & Hall of Comparative Ovations ”HOCO” (the best in all ECV®)
2015
(8:15 PM)
Your First Fireside as a REDSHIRT - Raffles - Stories - Jokes - male bonding - Pass the Bottle, BS
Sunday
7:00 AM BREAKFAST A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived
8:09 AM Clampsite clean-up by EVERYONE! Use the dumpster, leave nothing behind!
10:06 AM Return to the world as a man. DRIVE SOBER!!!!!!
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Page 6 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
PBC Rules
1. A PBC must never wear the color Red
(Yes, there will be an inspection).
This includes each and every item of
clothing and jewelry.
Red Tattoos must be covered.
2. A PBC must attend all scheduled and
spontaneous PBC meetings.
3. A PBC must complete all assigned and
scheduled duties. A PBC must get to
know all Officers, fellow PBC's and
Members
4. A PBC must show unity with and loyalty to fellow PBC's.
5. A PBC must attend the campfire ceremony and plaque dedication.
6. A PBC must participate in PBC entertainment.
Telling of jokes, singing, and/or other conventional forms of entertainment.
Answer all questions presented to him.
7. A PBC must be sober for initiation.
8. No firearms, explosives, pets, fighting, long knives or bad attitudes are ever
permitted at the Clampouts.
9. A PBC is under the complete authority of the Hangman and the Keeper of the
PBC's at all times.
10. A PBC must study the PBC Rules, PBC Etiquette, the Code of Clamper Conduct,
the List of Greybeards and Officers, the History of ECV, and any other
information presented to him before the initiation.
11. A PBC must help clean the Clampsite prior to leaving on Sunday.
12. When in doubt, under any circumstance, ASK THE HANGMAN.
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Page 7 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
PBC Etiquette (Or, Fear and Loathing in a Clampsite, A PBC's Guide to Success)
1. A PBC should always address a Redshirt as “Mr.
Redshirt Sir.”
Examples:
"Yes Mr. Redshirt Sir.”
"No Mr. Redshirt Sir”
"That is correct, Mr. Redshirt Sir, I am a lowlife
PBC, Mr. Redshirt Sir.”
2. A PBC should always take his responsibilities
seriously.
3. A PBC should always enjoy his work, rendered
Satisfactory!
(Service Redshirts and maintain a cheerful
disposition at all times.)
4. A PBC should never offend, anger or in any way
irritate a Redshirt or Officer.
5. A PBC should always make sure that a Redshirt is comfortable and is given
excellent service. Remember, a warm beer or soda could easily ruin a Redshirts
(and thereby the PBC's) day.
6. When fetching a beverage for a Redshirt a PBC should always locate the coldest
drink, (usually found at the bottom of the ice chest) and present it to the Redshirt
with a cheerful “Here is your drink Mr. Redshirt Sir!”
7. A PBC should never stand upwind from a Redshirt.
8. A PBC should never serve Spam or green eggs to a Redshirt.
9. A PBC should never let his hangover interfere with his work.
10. A PBC should never say or do anything to embarrass his Sponsor.
11. When in doubt, under any circumstances, ASK THE HANGMAN!
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Page 8 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
50 Odd Questions for Odd PBC's on Serious California History (Have answers for at least 20 of these questions.)
1. Who made the first discovery of gold in California?
2. What was a California banknote?
3. What is the mascot for Bakersfield High School?
4. After what person is Bakersfield named?
5. After what person is Kern County named?
6. Who makes the best candy in Bakersfield?
7. What year was Kern County incorporated?
8. What year was the City of Bakersfield incorporated?
9. Who founded Bakersfield?
10. What date was California admitted to the Union?
11. What is California named after?
12. Who discovered California? (after the natives)
13. Who discovered gold at Sutter's Mill?
14. What was the date of the Sutter's Mill gold discovery?
15. Which L.A. newspaper did William Randolph Hearst publish from 1903 to 1962?
16. What did the Hollywood sign say originally? What was it for?
17. Which way is Lebec, and who was it named after?
18. What was the official capital of California in 1847 when Mexican forces surrendered?
19. What is the name of last film in which Governor Swartzeneggar appeared?
20. What does "Swartzeneggar" mean in English?
21. What former song and dance man was elected California’s United States Senator?
22. How far did the San Andreas Fault slip near Fort Tejon in the 1857 quake?
23. How many people were killed in the 1857 quake, and how?
24. Who played Clarabelle the Clown on the Howdy Doody Show?
25. What sort of Army unit was based at Ft Tejon?
26. Who discovered Peter Lebeck’s epitaph?
27. What was the name of John Wayne's last feature film?
28. What is a Long Tom? (This has nothing to do with the fantasies of guys named Tom.)
29. When did California grant woman's suffrage?
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Page 9 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
30. What was the original name of the community of Ojai, and what famous novel did that person
write?
31. What was that person's important role in California history?
32. What animal appeared on the banner of the Bear Flag Rebellion?
33. Who was the Mexican General who surrendered California to American Forces in 1846?
34. Who was the American Army officer who accepted the surrender of California to the United
States?
35. Who was the last Mexican governor of California? Where is his home today? Who was his
brother?
36. Who is “the Dude?”
37. Which was the first California mission, and what year was it founded?
38. What was the name of Raymond Chandler's fictional detective hero? Name one of the books or
movies.
39. What is a Pelton wheel?
40. In gold mining, what is a monitor?
41. What was George S. Patton's hometown?
42. Who was George S. Patton's maternal grandfather, and what was his role in California history?
43. Who was killed at the battle of Cahuenga Pass in 1841?
44. What forces faced each other at Cahuenga Pass, and over what issue?
45. What famous California historical figure was captured at Cahuenga Pass?
46. Where's Cahuenga Pass?
47. Where WAS Aimee Semple McPherson when she got caught, and what was she doing?
48. What two men walked out of Death Valley and returned with rescuers to save the wagon train
trapped there?
49. Where did the Donner Party get lost and take dinner?
50. Lincoln said of his Surveyor General, "I understand that he is the master of all he surveys." Who
was this man?
51. What still-existing major Rancho did he acquire while in government employ?
52. What Bakersfield street is named after his son?
53. Who first discovered gold in California after pulling up a wild onion? Where and what year?
Bonus question: If olives are crushed to make olive oil, what do they use to make baby oil?
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Page 10 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
Greybeards and Current Officers
Past Noble Grand Humbugs
1962 Ralph Kreiser *
1963 Walter Bowman *
1964 George Hewett *
1965 Frank Miller *
1966 Walter Stewart
1967 Howard deVilleroy
1968 Ralph Myers *
1969 Karl Thurber *
1970 Tom Hagelstein * (X-proctor)
1971 Max G. Bowser
1972 Jack G. Davis
1973 Richard Davis
1974 Robert E. J. O. Waite *
1975 Tom Hagelstein * (X-proctor)
1976 Gene Boultinghouse *
1977 Richard Francisco
1978 Sharkey Denman *
1979 John McAteer *
1980 Chris Brewer
1981 Bud Bradford *
1982 Charles Pomeroy*
1983 Tom Hagelstein * (X-proctor)
1984 William Cordes *
1985 Kenny Young*
1986 Robert E. J. O. Waite*
1987 Bob Newman
1988 Tony Panici
1989 Jim Adams
1990 Jack Hogue *
1991 Don Rowe
1992 Bill Howard
1993 Dave Phillips
1994 Gene Duncker (X-proctor)
1995 Wes Frisinger
1996 Joe Szot
1997 Bob Cordes
1998 Kent Holland
1999 Pat McGhee
2000 Kenny Young*
2001 Wes Kutzner
2002 Al Eastin
2003 Steve Weaver
2004 Keith Fraser
2005 Steve Born*
2006 Paul Weaver
2007 Don Johnson
2008 Bob Clemensson
2009 Dale Charter*
2010 Tim Gillespie
2011 Tim Gillespie
2012 Mike Ramirez-Mares
2013 Russ Chapman
2014 Charles Topping
2015 Jim Bailey
2016 Luis Bouza
* All Humbugs and Graybeards remain members of the Grand Council of E Clampus Vitus until called by the
Highest Authority to His Diggin's in the Golden Hills.
Current Officers 2017 (6022) Noble Grand Humbug [ ] Dale "Top" Turner
Vice Noble Grand Humbug [ ] Myrl "Doc" Wallace
Grand Noble Recorder [ ] Andrew "Grimmy" Grim
Gold Dust Receiver [ ] Luis "Vaquero" Bouza, XNGH
Grand Imperturbable Hangman [ ] Mark “Scoop” Mutz
Clampatriarch [ ] Luis "Vaquero" Bouza, XNGH
Clamp Chef [ ] Kenton "Airdale" Miller
Clamps Hostrix [ ] Jeremy “Miter Box” Langley
Damn Fool Doorkeeper [ ] Howard "Meatrub" Zerbe
Hawker Team
Hawker
Hawktackle
[ ] Kevin "No Eye" Horton
[ ] Jim "Needs a Handle" Mann
CyberRecorder [ ] Mike "MGM" Ramirez XNGH
ClampCrier [ ] " Ptomaine Timbo" Gillespie XNGH
Petey's Flying Circus- Ring Master LT [ ] Fred " Flintstone" Fenski
Petey's Flying Circus-Ring Master RT [ ] Dave "Boulder" Staley
Royal Clamps Thespian [ ] Dave "Boulder" Staley
Consulting Clampstorian [ ] Al “The Quack” Price
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Page 11 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
PBC Entertainment
Cadence
I don’t know But I’ve been told
Most you Redshirts are looking old
When we want to head to Hooters
All’s we see is red on scooters
And if the Hooters is really far
I’m sure we’ll find you in the nearest bar.
Sound off
The Bean Burrito Song
(Cummin’ ‘round the Mountain)
We’ll be eating bean burritos when she comes,
When she comes!
We’ll be eating bean burritos when she comes,
When she comes!
We’ll be eating bean burritos,
Not tostadas or taquitos,
We’ll be eating bean burritos,
When she comes.
When she comes!
She’ll be riding horney Clampers when she comes,
when she comes
She’ll be riding horney Clampers when she comes,
when she comes.
She’ll be riding horney Clampers,
She’ll be riding horney Clampers,
She’ll be riding horney Clampers,
When she comes.
When she comes!
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Page 12 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
PBC Chant (to the tune of “Oh, Christmas Tree”)
We Like It Here
We Like It Here
Fuck'n-A We Like It Here
Or
We Paid For This
We Paid For This
I Can’t Believe We Paid For This
The Ballad of Gilligan's Island"
Especially written for ECV Poor Blind Candidates by George Wyle & Sherwood Schwartz
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day for a three-hour tour.
A three-hour tour!
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be
lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan…
The Skipper too…
The Millionaire… and his wife…
The movie star,
The Professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligan's Isle.
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Page 13 of 16 PBC Handbook --Peter Lebeck Chapter, ECV- revised 2/26/2017 (6022) AG
PBC Handbook
What do you do with a Drunken Clamper
(tune of “What do you do with a Drunken Sailor”).
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
Er-lie in the morning
Give him a bath till he’s clean and sober
Give him a bath till he’s clean and sober
Give him a bath till he’s clean and sober Er-lie in the morning
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
Er-lie in the morning
Give him a widder and her daughter
Give him a widder and her daughter
Have you seen the widder’s daughter
Er-lie in the morning
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
What do you do with a drunken Clamper
Er-lie in the morning
Give him more beer and clean his redshirt
Give him more beer and clean his redshirt
Give him more beer and clean his redshirt
Er-lie in the morning
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PBC Handbook
Glossary of ECV Terms
“And So Recorded” The reply of acknowledgement by the Grand Noble Recorder that the
Brethren do deem something “Satisfactory!”
Braying Jackass Together with the miner, it’s the symbol of E Clampus Vitus.
Clamper A member in good standing (standing or not) of the ancient and honorable order of E Clampus Vitus; a Redshirt; and an ECV “officer of equal indignity”: an X-PBC.
Clampout Specifically, an overnight gathering of Clampers during which PBCs are
initiated and a monument is often dedicated. Also known as a "Doin’s.”
Compare “DOIN’S.”
Credo Quia Absurdum The order's motto, to wit “I believe because it is absurd.”
Doin’s A Clamper function of any duration, whether for a specific purpose or an unspecific purpose, though often for the purpose of initiating PBCs.
E Clampus Vitus “Either an historical drinking society, or a drinking, historical society, take
your pick”- John Severino, GM, KABC-TV
E Clampus Vitus, Redivivus The present-day incarnation of Clamperdom. The term “Redivivus”
derives from the Latin prefix red-, re-, "again" + vivus, "alive." As in,
"Building anew from old wood."
ECV Gazette Website with all things Clamper. http://www.ecvgazette.com
Erect, Erection Verb or noun referring to the construction of a concrete or stone monument affixed with an historical plaque. As in, “Peter Lebeck is having an erection!”
Gold Dust Receiver An ECV officer whose primary function is that of chapter treasurer.
Grand Council Composed of all current and former Noble Grand Humbugs of all chapters
in ECV. It meets the weekend before Memorial Day in Sonora,
California. The Grand Council ratifies the decisions of the “Proctors” or Board of Directors of the mother organization, E Clampus Vitus, Inc.
Grand Noble Recorder An ECV officer whose primary function is that of chapter secretary.
(No, he doesn't wear a dress... normally...or make coffee when he does.)
Greybeard A current or former Noble Grand Humbug: one of the "elders" of the
chapter. A former Humbug is also known as an “XNGH.”
Hall Of Comparative Ovations Any place where two or more clampers congregate.
Hangman The person to whom the PBCs are entrusted and who is responsible for their initiation into the chapter; the ECV officer who, along with his agents or “Vigilantes,” has complete authority over the PBCs.
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PBC Handbook
Hewgag A long tin horn which is sounded to gather Redshirts to the Doin’s and to
alert them that a PBC is about to enter the Hall of Comparative Ovations.
Humbug Short for Noble Grand Humbug or “NGH;” the presiding officer of the chapter and the HMF in charge of the clampout. The chapter president.
Peter's Procs Newsletter of the Peter Lebeck chapter #1866 of E Clampus Vitus.
Plaquing The erection of a commemorative plaque, with or without a monument base.
Also, an essential aspect of Clamping, as in, “If you’re not plaquing, you’re not Clamping.”
Poor Blind Candidate The lowest form of life, which, if it is lucky, may one day attain a place in
Clamperdom.
Proctor An officer of the Grand Council of the Ancient and Honorable Order of E
Clampus Vitus. These fifteen XNGH's act as the executive board of the
Grand Council, and are the Board of Directors of the Ancient and
Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus, Inc.
Redshirt A Clamper; one who is to be treated as a V.I.P. by all PBCs.
Saint Vitus The Patron Saint of E Clampus Vitus and that of idiots, actors and epileptics
“Satisfactory” A shouted reply of approval by Clampers to the query, “What sayeth the
Brethren?”
Serious Shit An important item of particular interest to all Clampers, but most especially to a PBC; something a PBC had better know and pay attention to.
Slippery Gulch The Humbug's libation station; the original slippery gulch saloon was
located in Murphy's, California.
Sublime Short for Sublime Noble Grand Humbug (SGNH): The presiding officer of the Grand Council of ECV.
Vice-Noble Grand Humbug A chapter officer whose primary function is that of vice-president.
Vigilantes Some Chapters use this title for assistants to the Hangman in charge of the
PBCs. In PXL Vigilantes are the redshirts in the white lab coats who
protect the PBC's while running them through the challenges of the day.
Wall Of Comparative Ovations A wall located in Murphy's, California which holds the likenesses and histories of the namesakes of all chapters of ECV; located on the exterior of the Thompson building it is the un-official shrine of Clamperdom.
“What Sayeth The Brethren?” A query, given to ECV brethren, asking for approval of a particular item.
Widow A Clamper's wife, girlfriend or both; any member of the fair sex who is comforted by a Clamper.
X The most wished for letter in the whole clamper alphabet.
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PBC Handbook
Important PBC Notes