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TheAmericanDreamBy Tara Puckey

Most girls grow up picturing aromantic proposal, a beautiful wed-ding, and a happy marriage; the epit-ome of the American dream. Theyenvision a picket fence, two or threediapered children running around,and a dog named Spot. As theygrow, there are challenges and hur-dles, their goals change and forminto a more realistic dream, but notwithout the longing for what hap-piness “should” be.

Often, I’ve been asked how myhappiness translates into being amilitary wife. How I can handleraising two children alone, cuttingthe grass, learning how to fix theshower when it is clogged, andeven abstaining from intimacy forsuch long periods of time. Theyoften ask if this is how I envisionedmy life, essentially alone. Truth betold, it’s not. As I stand here forthe second time in five years, I’mreminded of all the things I mustface on my own over the nextcoming months. It doesn’t get anyeasier; time can’t teach you how toeliminate your loneliness com-

pletely or to become used to anempty place in your bed. Timedoes, however, show yourstrength, test your endurance, andprove to you that your sacrifice,not only that of your spouse, ismaking a difference. I still falterin my darkest hours; I am onlyhuman. Some days I sit just towatch the very news that I don’twant to hear or find myself in mycloset smelling a sweater that Istill can’t bear to wash.

I don’t deny that it is sometimeshard, or that I sometimes questionmy ability to cope on a dailybasis. I do tell them that, in theend, it is worth it. The trials andadversities become small and

insignificant when I glance at thetan boots littered around my housethat bring a sense of pride that isunexplainable. I know I am whereI should be when I picture the backof a uniform turning to offer onelast wave before a long absence.Even as he walks away, I am moreproud of him at that moment thanif he were standing next to me. Sowhen they ask how I feel about notliving their idea of the Americandream, I just smile and reply:“We are the American dream.”

Family photo of Army wife, Tara Puckey with her husband, SGT Bryan Puckey, and daughters Alexa and Brooklyn.

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Tara Puckey is an Army wife who

lives in Indiana with her husband and

two daughters, Alexa and Brooklyn

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