the a-z book of daily life disasters- achala basu

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Not-so-Heavy Books The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters Achala Basu

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“Disaster is a natural part of my evolution. Toward tragedy and dissolution.”-Chuck PlahnuikHow disastrous is a disaster?Look in to read some of the funniest day to day life disaster andlaugh your minds out at the worst possibledisasters from silicone poisoning to Indian food.Its all in here!

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Not-so-Heavy Books

The A-Z Book of

Daily Life Disasters

Achala Basu

Page 2: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Not-so-Heavy Books

The A-Z Book of

Daily Life Disasters

Achala Basu

Page 3: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

This book is dedicated to all those who lost their kitchen carpets to a fire, who had a mugshot taken on their wed-ding day and to all the snakes who died from biting fake

boobs.

Also to Matt Lee’s inspiring illustrations.

Page 4: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Acne

Page 5: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

But she did’nt give up. She squeezed harder, failing twice or thrice, but

finally she managed to pop it, and the giant

pimple burst all over her mirror with a farting noise and all of that white stuff was on her nose and her mirror . She

managed to wipe it off her mirror, but then when she did the same to her

nose, it started bleeding like crazy! To this day she says she can still

remember the sound it made and how horrified she was!

Talk about acne disaster!

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get distracted in

English class? Well 16 year old Lindsay from New Jersey should know. Bored

little Lindsay during story time in class decided to take out her mirror and

examine the huge pimple which was growing on her nose. Trying some

heroic stunts, she tried bursting it with her fingers, but alas, her first try was a fail and only resulted in a little thread of white stuff trickling

down, and then eventually stopped.

Page 6: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

5) Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag – What a disaster! Remaking Sholay is no joke, but the film was. There was nothing in Aag that’s worth a mention. But as the saying goes, form is temporary, talent is permanent

4) Love Story 2050 – This film’s first poster looked similar to Kaho Na Pyar Hai, its lead actor looked, danced and acted like Hrithik Roshan. And those were the only reasons for any sort of curiosity around this so- called science fiction movie. Arguably Priyanka Chopra’s worst performance ever and inarguably one of the worst films of 2008.

3) Chandni Chowk To China – This film was expected to match, if not break, the collections of Ghajini. But surprisingly the box-office opening (70%) wasn’t upto expectations. The film was later thrashed by the critics and rejected by the audience in its first weekend.

Page 7: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

2) Drona – In one of the biggest disasters ever witnessed, Abhishek Bachchan tried to do a Hrithik Roshan and fell flat on his face. It has to be one of the worst performances as a superhero ever by any actor. The poorly directed film lost more than 40 crores of its investment. Eros International is yet to recover from the epic disaster.

1) Karzzz – The switch from music direction and singing to full-time acting proved to be a costly mistake for Himesh Reshammiya. From a highly talented music composer to asuper-hit singer, Himesh’s career was going great, until he made the mistake of acting. Being a non- actor, which was evident right from his very first film, it was just a matter of time. The failure of Karzzz put Himesh out of sight and hence out of mind. Remember those days when Himesh ruled television?

Page 8: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

COSMETIC SURGERY

Page 9: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Once upon a time, in the late 70’s there was a beautiful women named Jocelyn Wildenstein. Jocelyn really had it made. She was a fresh-faced mother of two and married to an extremely rich art dealer. That is until she caught her husband in bed with a 21- year- old Russian model.

Known by the press by the nickname of “The Bride of Wildenstein” -a reference to the Bride of Frankenstein, Jocelyn Wildenstein has allegedly spent almost US $4,000,000 on cosmetic surgery over the years, ending up as one of the worst and most famous cases of plastic surgery addiction now disaster. But how did it happen?

Now, any normal person would just leave her husband and take all of his money with her, right? Not Jocelyn Wildenstein! Instead she decided to win back her husband’s love and make herself more beautiful by going under the knife. Well, her husband left her anyways, but Jocelyn will always have her plastic surgeon.

Page 10: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

DIVING

Page 11: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Before his big dive Rodgers managed to drop his air tank which fell off the wooden bench and hit the ground with a clank and explosion that caught everyone’s attention on board. Finally, after managing to get into the water he realized his regulator went bad causing loads of air to screech out of the mouthpiece on the surface, soon enough he had to force his ears to equalize which was painful and not good for his diving , having a dive master who didn’t give a shit didn’t help either. On his second attempt his weight belt broke and he was shot up like a piece of cork. And alas, on his 3rd and final attempt, he couldn’t go further into the water as his mask began to fill with blood from his nose. Realizing you have a sinus infection this late doesn’t help now does it Rodgers?

Greg Rodgers, a devoted back packer, who says he feels like a visitor in his own home town Lexington, Kentucky, had tried almost all stunts possible in his back packing journeys. That was until his eventful diving disaster. Diving into deep waters to examine ship wrecks is quite an adventure, especially with a Arab instructor who wants to keep shoving you into the water as fast as possible. But poor Rodgers had a little more trouble than just a Middle Eastern instructor.

Page 12: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

ELEVATOR

Page 13: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Imaging what happened after that does give you a shiver; poor Guan-Yin was thrust upward forcefully as the elevator doors shut half her body in and took to the third floor. Though the top half of her body remained her regular skin colour, while the bottom half, however, resulted in turning blue and purple thanks to the jam in blood circulation to her legs. Her freaked out and frightened kids ran to the security office and in not very long, their mother was on her way to the nearby hospital. Guess who’s the new enemy Mr. Elevator?

Elevators are the most essential part of big buildings and even more essential to people who don’t have the stamina to walk up stairs. But 38 year old Mrs. Guan-yin form Taiwan does not think the same. After a shopping trip with her kids Jun-Li and Tao-Li, Guan-yin entered her apartment’s elevator and slipped and fell, in such a way that half her body was in and the half was out, with her kids and shopping bags. Unfortunately, at the same time a couple from the third floor summoned the sensor-less elevator to the third floor.

Page 14: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

FARTING

Page 15: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

They always say it’s good to let out what’s in you to make you feel better. But Holly wood actress Jessica Simpson seemed to take this a little too literally. During one of her business meetings with some executives about her new denim clothing line, our lady Simpson seemed to give off more than just details of her new business venture,

Female first magazine reported:. “While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart”. To make the awkward situation even better, her mother Tina Simpson, who was also present, was prompted to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ Way to go Simpsons.

Gassy much Jessica?

Page 16: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

GLUE

Page 17: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Super Glue and honeymoons make such a wonderful combination. Well, Susan Benjamin’s honeymoon was truly an ‘EYE OPENING’ experience for her. After waking up the first morning of being husband and wife, Susan’s husband, Bill, had decided to go to the harbour in the Florida Keys (she should have known the marriage wouldn’t have lasted then). But eager to join him, she scurried to the bathroom, showered, and then got ready to put on some light makeup for the day.

So, remembering that you should immediately flush your eye withwater, she grabbed a towel and saturated it with water and ran out of the condominium to find her husband in the harbour and screamed for his attention. He asked what was wrong, and she screamed “I super glued my eye shut.” Ok, well, she was soaking wet, not the typical honeymoon bride you would expect to see, and she hopped in the car and they rushed to the emergency room at Key Largo. Emergency room doctors in the Florida Keys can be ‘something else’. When she saw the doctor, he said, “Well, I’ve had people come in with fishing hooks stuck in their hands, I’ve had people with terrific sunburns, I’ve had boating accidents, I’ve even had a woman in labour ,but I can’t say I ever had anybody superglue their eye.” So, after hours of all kinds of medicines in the eye, and then going to an eye specialist and having him pick the crystallized superglue out of her eye, she healed about two weeks later. Needless to say, she never packed superglue in her cosmetic bag again (nails, or no nails). Six years later and with a 3-year old and a 3 -month old, Susan and her husband were divorced. i wonder why.

She reached into her cosmetic bag and got the bottle of ‘eye lubricant’ (as she thought at the time). As she squeezed it in the air to let the first drop come into her eye, she realized something was wrong. But guess her brain didn’t send the signal fast enough to stop the drops that came out of the superglue bottle right into her eye! Yes, she had put superglue into her eye, rather than Visine.

Page 18: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

OT AIR BALLOONH

Page 19: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Kathleen, 53, after finishing loading her husband’s necessary stuff onto the balloon, stepped back to bid him good bye. As the balloon took off into the air, both Kathleen and her husband didn’t realize that her leg had gotten caught in a rope, and instantly she was pulled up into the air. Though it’s not clear how her leg got caught in the rope, witnesses found her dangling from the balloon and passed through several tree tops before she was knocked off. She finally fell about 50 feet and crashed through the barn roof. A perfect time to have said “Watch out for that tree!!”?

Kathleen J. Long dint know what she was in for when she set off along with her husband Jupiter Long to help him launch his hot air balloon. After managing to finish 90% of their work with the big old balloon, Mr. Long, a citizen of Bethlehem Township, New Jersey, was all ready to fly up into the air., Ssadly he didn’t know he’d be having company for the next half hour.

Page 20: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

NDIAN FOODI

Page 21: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Isn’t it just annoying when there’s no dinner at home and all your favourite restaurants are closed? And what’s even more annoying is if the only restaurant you can order food from is an Indian restaurant which will probably set your organs on fire. Jim and Peter Will’s didn’t think about that before ordering from Lovely Indian restaurant in Fremont, California. Once the order was delivered, the Tandoori chicken and chilli Paneer was consumed not only by them but also by their grandparents who lived with them.

After five glasses of water half way through the meal, Grandpa Will’s face was found to be extremely pale and sweaty, and he was also found panting. This seemed to freak out Grandma Will, which made her trash the rest of the spicy chicken. On her return to the dining room, she saw grandpa will on the floor, holding his chest tight and flinching. Jim was already on the phone calling the ambulance. On their way to the hospital, all grandma did was curse Indian food in every language she knew. On their arrival at the hospital, Grand ma kept screaming, “Help help, my husband’s having a heart attack!” An hour later the doctor came out and called out for grand ma. “Madam” he said, “next time, please don’t yell ‘heart attack’ when it’s just a gas issue., just go with less spice next time”.

Page 22: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

JUGGLING

Page 23: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

He scooped two 7- sized bowl-ing balls and started juggling them. A nearby spectator, amused by the current happen-ings, forgot to use his brain for a second and threw another bowling ball at Jamie. Clearly in the next half hour everyone had seen what a horrible idea that was. Jamie, who seemed to have lost his touch since high school (clearly), was in for a shocker when the crazy dude with a mohawk threw another bowling ball at him. Clearly caught off guard, Jamie lost his balance and stumbled for a few seconds be-fore falling flat on his butt letting the bowling balls fly up in the air, o. One of which happened to fall on his wife’s foot. The other two dove right through the little side canteen, crashing into the soft drinks vending machine and the nacho sauce machine which resulted in Coke, Sprite, Orange soda and salsa flying all over the place.

If anyone wonders why London- based bowling alley Bloomsberry Bowling has closed its small canteen for the past few months, it’s because it was definitely bowled over. When Jamie and Katie Marshall decided to spend their Friday even-ing bowling, Katie seemed to forget her husband’s fond passion of jug-gling anything that feels like a chal-lenge. So there they were, bowling like any normal couple; that is, Jamie couldn’t resist any longer and surprised his easily never wreck-able wife

Page 24: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

KITCHEN

Page 25: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Grease spilled onto the carpet and caught it on fire. Jessica was screaming, “No! Baking soda!” and her mom picked the pan back up to drop it into the sink of water and burning oil flew in all directions. She finally got a hold of a box of baking soda and poured it all over the burning areas and put them out, but not before half of their kitchen was damaged from the flames and Jessica and her mom had suffered some smoke inhalation.Well I’m not surprised if the three of them don’t get paranoid about frying anything at home not having box of baking soda sitting right next to the stove!

Ever heard a kitchen horror story (caused by temptation to eat tacos) that almost burned a house down? Jessica recalls this story like she was 14 years old yesterday. She was sitting on the couch watching TV and doing homework (HA) and her dad, Mitch Allen, was cooking dinner in the kitchen. He put a skillet of oil on the stove to fry some tortillas and got into an argument with his wife, Sara, who was standing across the room. He followed her into their bedroom and continued to argue.

Now Jessica didn’t realize that the stove was on and wasn’t paying any attention to what was going on in the kitchen. All of a sudden, out of the corner of her eye, she saw flames shooting up, out of the skillet and looked over just in time to see the upper kitchen cabinets catching fire. Screaming she rushed over and her mom came running in, grabbed the pan, and started to run to the kitchen sink, which was full of soapy water. The pan burned her hand, and she dropped it on the floor, which at the time was carpeted (seriously, who carpets their kitchen floor?).

Page 26: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

LAVATORY

Page 27: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

There’s a sign in the airplane lavatory that says, “Discarding anything other than tissue in the toilet can cause a safety hazard.” On one trip to California, Melanie went to the lavatory and when she stooped over to raise the toilet seat, a dime fell out of the folds of her jacket onto the flapper thing in the toilet.All that she could think was that she was going to be the cause of an air disaster because of her dime. She girded herself to reach into the toilet to get the dumb dime. Her initial strategy was to reach in with just one hand to fetch the dime. She tried to get her fingernail under the dime so that she could use her thumb to grab it. Bad idea apparently. The flapper thing took a dangerous plunge and she thought the dime would slide into the abyss. She quickly withdrew her hand and the flapper flapped back up to a level position.

Thankfully for her the dime hadn’t moved. She tried that move one more time and again it obviously didn’t work. She stood there for a moment before deciding to dive in with both hands. She got each index fingernail under the dime. The first try turned out to be a practice run failure. The second try was good. She had it in her fingernails between both index fingers. She deftly raised it out of the toilet and dropped it into the trash bin. Now, what to do about the fingers that had just diddled around on the flapper that countless people had piddled on, never mind the blue fluid that washes the whole bowl when you flush. All that she had was the stupid little sink and the liquid soap. She rinsed as best she could under her fingernails. She left the lavatory and went to the back of the plane to buy herself a drink. She told her story to the flight attendant. The attendant laughed and said that she probably saved the world from a frozen turd falling through space and crashing through someone’s roof. Yes she should have flushed that dumb dime.

Page 28: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

MONKEY

Page 29: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

As if the technical glitches were not caus-ing enough headaches for the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation, the state-of-the-art transport system was in for some simian trouble one June morning. It was 10:15 am and a train going towards Dilshad Garden had just arrived at Rithala, terminal sta-tion of the Rithala-Dilshad Garden line. As soon as passengers started boarding the train, somebody spotted a monkey entering one of the coupes. “The ani-mal caused a flutter among passengers with everybody running helter-skelter,” confirmed a Metro official, requesting anonymity. However, the official said the simian did not attack anybody.

“One of the passengers also tried to lure it outside with a biscuit. But it did not come out of the train. Finally, the CISF personnel were called in,” said the of-ficial. At the time of the incident, there were only 50- odd passengers inside the train, as Rithala is the last station of the line. “The CISF officials tried to shoo it away. But when they failed, passengers were asked to vacate the train. Later, somebody came up with ‘chanas’ and spread them on the floor of the train near a door. The monkey took the bait and came out of the train,” the official said. As soon as the animal was out, the driver closed the doors and moved the train away.

Page 30: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

NEURON

Page 31: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

LSD

Page 32: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

OPERA

Page 33: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

What is it with stage managers and their weirdly fetishist relationship with the curtain?On 6th October 2006, during a David Hockney production of Wag-ner’s “Tristan und Isolde” from Los Angeles, the San Francisco Opera occurred quite a funny mishap to everyone’s surprise. As stated before, curtains and stage managers can never been understood. They feel that lowering it is some sort of terminal admis-sion of defeat. Hence Hockney decided to put it on a timed computer pre setting so that it could not be lowered until the end of the act. Unfortunately for him and the entire cast, a timed curtain was a terri-ble mistake. Facing some technical difficulties, the curtain decided to act up and kept frantically opening and shutting in the middle of the most passionate and intimate scene of the opera, the love duet. The San Franciscans were highly amused and taken aback at the same time by how something such as curtain trouble could destroy the most pre-cious scene of a production. Guess Hockney learnt his lesson about modern technology

Page 34: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

PROCRASTINATION

Page 35: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

But alas, the poor thing fell asleep. The next day was spent typing while consuming extreme amounts of coffee. He wasn’t quite finished but his paper was due in half an hour and he needed 17 printouts by then, and the nearest printer was 15 minutes away. So he cycled as fas t as he could, got his print-outs in 10 minutes and tried as hard as possible to rush back to class., If only the foolish boy hadn’t thought to himself, “And the procrastinator wins” I don’t think the car would not have meant to hit him, making him fall nine feet away with his papers lost all over the place. Marc was hospitalized for a week, and couldn’t hand in his assign-ment, which resulted in him staying for summer school. Now do I see a moral here? Or just a streak coming to an end?

Marc from Columbia University calls himself a devoted procrastinator. For the past two years of his college life, all he has done is procrastinate; an assignment given for five days was completed five in hours before the deadline. Maintaining his streak was very important to him; until one day when his Econ professor gave the class an assignment lasting for at least two weeks, requiring research and a lot of typing. But Marc was calm, he kept telling himself that’s there’s ample time left and he didn’t need to stress about it. That was until a day and a half before the submis-sion day, when he sat down to read his assignment and reality hit him. Even half of the work couldn’t be completed in a week and that assign-ment’s grade mattered for his GPA. So, in spite of having sleepless nights due to partying and movie watching, he tried his best to stay awake and finish the work.

Page 36: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

QUEUE

Page 37: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Yes, money can buy a lot of things in life, but happiness never made the list. However, a bunch of New York girls managed to buy themselves happiness. Ask them how. “Well all I have ever wanted is Kate Moss’s new clothing line and it’s on sale! I think this is the happiest day of my life!” And just like that, all the others girls standing in the 20-foot-long line began their chirpy stories about how Kate Moss is their key to happiness. It was 11pm that night, and the sale wasn’t until the next morning at 10, and these girls were lined up in front of the model’s new boutique with night bags and foldable chairs. It was quite an amusement to half the passers-by of New York, however. The next morning when the doors of the store opened, the sight was terrorizing. The women seemed to have clearly lost their marbles after not sleeping a wink that previous night. They pushed, shoved and ran over each other. Some actually got into fights and started pulling

each other’s hair. And another spark seemed to ignite somewhere because ten minutes later a stone was thrown right at the window of the store and the crashing sound seemed to have brought a little peace. But that was thought too soon because the employees didn’t seem to find this entire situation charming and asked the women to leave. This created more chaos as they all wanted to take as much as possible before getting out. When Ms. Moss heard about this she rushed to her showroom as soon as the crowd was cleared to see the wreck. Well, one must pay a price for providing happiness, Kate.

Page 38: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

RAMP

Page 39: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

So the back stage models who didn’t know about this started to graciously walk towards the audience. However after a few steps on the stage the pretty model fell straight into the hole which was then thought too small. Looks like nothing’s too small for anorexic models. The model was sucked in and half her body and entire dress was out while her long legs were stuck inside the stage. Help was sent immediately and the poor model not only fell through a hole on her fashion walk but also happened to flash half the world while being lifted up by the backstage assistance. Now we’ll know which holes she hates the most.

Fashion shows are a lot like match sticks walking along the match box and setting themselves on fire. Well, a model walking for Chicago annual fashion week wasn’t walking on he right side of the match stick. After a very entertaining show of seeing Asians break bricks and do back flips around the stage, a huge hole remained where one of the per-formers failed at a back flip. The problem couldn’t be attended to immediately however because the show was timed and on air.

Page 40: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

SILICONE POISONING

Page 41: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

The theory is that humans are poisoned by snakes when bitten by them. But the irony of this London-based story is something else. The British are known to have quite “different” fetishes. But half of the world was shocked at this story of a London-based fashion model who was posing with a snake for one of her photo shoots. The shoot was going on smoothly and the boa constrictor didn’t seem to have a problem being around the body of British fashion model. That was until the blonde model decided to look sexier by licking the snake’s face. God knows what she was smoking. Anyway, the extremely scandalized and angry snake made its move to attack the model and it aimed towards the model’s left breast. It took the model a few seconds to realize she was bitten,. The funny part was that they found it difficult removing the snake from its position. When they finally did, the model was rushed to the hospital; though someone should have done the same for the snake, because the sad part is the snake died of silicone poisoning. Irony, isn’t it?

Page 42: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

ANNINGT

Page 43: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Anyway, she was the one showing some flesh! And second, she had never seen her beautiful friend that orange!It reminded her of the scene from the “Requiem for a Dream” by Dar-ren Aronofsky. The mother of the main character, Sara Goldfarb is dyeing her hair red for the TV show she was dreaming of. Her friend helps her. As they see the results in the mirror, Sara asks:“What colour is that?”“Red. It is red,” her friend replies.“If this is red, show me the orange”.Unfortunately, her friend looked nothing but orange. It would have been really nice to say something like: “Hey! It’s not that bad! It’s not even orange, it’s…..umm”, But she couldn’t think of the other colour to describe her skin tone..

The editor of Beauty and Makeup, Vanessa Mathews, didn’t quite expect to ever witness a tanning disaster ever in her life; that was until one of her best model friends called her saying she had to see her IMMEDIATELY. Why?! Did anybody die?Anyway, they agreed to meet at Starbucks in an hour. She wouldn’t tell her what the problem was, but she sounded like she was bitten by the crazy little monkey. When Ms. Mathews went inside her model friend looked furious. She glanced at her watch, to make sure she wasn’t late. She was OK. Still it felt good to know she wasn’t the reason of her friend’s very emotional state. She didn’t quite finish her question, which was something like: “What in the hell is……..” When her friend jumped off her chair in the very centre of the café and pulled her shirt up. Vanessa was out of words. Don’t you hate it when people do that to you? First of all, she didn’t know how to react, because at least 15 people in the café were totally into watching them (and ready to buy monthly subscription at 1-800-n-a-k-e-d-m-o-d-e-l).

Page 44: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu
Page 45: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Universal Studios! The place for happiness and joy. Who could ever think that something would go wrong there? But apparently it did. At the 4pm theatre show, a woman named Belinda was pulled from the audience to participate with the cast for interaction. At the end, though, when the photo was to be taken with one of the characters, Edgar the monster, she ran from the crea-ture and dove head-first off the stage and down onto the steps of the theatre. They called to her but there was no response. The actors then called for Health Services twice and finally the show was ended and the theatre was cleared out. Clearly the situation was bad – the husband of the woman was in shock and there was no movement from her. But soon enough the women was okay and was responding well, but thanks to her fear of monsters or bad makeup, the entire cast was changed and new makeup artists were hired.

Page 46: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu
Page 47: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

Channel [V] on the whole is a major dis-aster to TV viewers. Well at least Indian viewers. (With the whole war creation ?) between mindless 20 year olds, the chan-nel fails its purpose of serving as a music channel. Sure, the cartoons and animations are great, but that’s about it. But the show really seemed to go overboard with their last few new shows in the past year. With bullshit like “Dare to Date” and “Love Net,” they think 20-year-olds in India are mind-less idiots who think love and dating are their entire life. And just by finding some senseless morons who would do anything on TV with their broken English and “wan-nabe” modern clothing, they seem to insult their target audience more than ever. The biggest disaster however is the latest show, “Date my Folks.” For the love of god, like other dating shows weren’t bad enough, you had to drag in oldies too? To add life to the already dead genre, they thought add-ing parents would help. The show revolves around dating the parents first before dating their offspring. What has this world come to?

Page 48: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

WEDDING

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But this bride bags the crown: she got hauled off to jail and had her mug shot taken — in her wedding gown.Meet Adrienne Samen, a Connecticut bride who had quite the wedding night back in August 2003.Several things went wrong:First, she apparently got intoxicated.Second, she yelled obscenities and threw cake and vases at her new husband.Third, witnesses told police that she “flipped out” when the bar at the recep-tion stopped serving drinks for the night.And then there was the obscene gesture at the police, the attempt to bite an officer who put her in the back of a police car and the moment when she kicked a police-car window out of its track.Charges: breach of peace and criminal mischief. Fine: $90.

Many women spend their entire lifetimes dreaming about their wedding day.But could anyone ever imagine that bridal bliss could turn this sour? We’ve found tales of women vomiting onto their wedding dresses, being catapulted out of horse-drawn carriages, swallow-ing their engagement rings and tangling with the police.

Page 50: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

X-mas

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Her homosexual son decided today is the day that he is going to come out of the closet.She sent the kids into Granny’s bedroom to shout “Merry Christmas”, only to discover she isn’t there, she had forgotten to pick her up the pre-vious evening.Her husband unwraps his watch on Christmas morning and she discov-ers that she got his gift mixed up with dear old Uncle Ted’s present, who is probably unwrapping his Tag Heuer at the very moment.And when people start arranging where they will be spending NEXT Christmas whilst eating their Christmas dinner.

Tara Samuels knew things were going really badly on Christmas when....She and her hubby sat up all night to put together an expensive train set for junior and found that one piece of track was missing.She gets up at 3:00 in the morning to prepare, baste and put the turkey on slow roast, then return to bed only to realize in the morning that she had forgotten to turn the oven on...

Somebody forgot to drink the sherry and eat the cookies left for Santa and his reindeer on Christmas Eve.

One of the kids called her into the kitchen 10 minutes before serving dinner, to in-form her he can see the cat’s tail hanging out of the turkey.

Page 52: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

YOU

Page 53: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

NOW HOW DID THIS GO WRONG?

Page 54: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

ZIPPER

Page 55: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

He tried as much as possible to yank it up but failed. On the last try he yanked it so hard the entire zipper tore half way up leaving his underwear in full view. He was frantic and now his band had called at least 3 times. He didn’t have a choice so he stretched his shirt as low as possible and left the loo. On reaching the stage his band members looked furi-ous and dragged him in. They started playing and it was a good gig. It was almost over and Justin couldn’t have thanked his stars more, that was until the lead singer lifted Justin’s hand up for another ovation. Poor Justin, this time the audience had another reason to hoot and shout.

During one of his band’s performances, Justin Stuart decided to wear the new jeans he got himself on sale in south Hampton. The moment arrived when he and his band were about to perform, but at that moment, nervousness made him want to empty his bladder. So he hurried out looking for the nearest loo. When he found one he attained his self peace. Once he was done, he tried to zip up his pants, but they seemed to be stuck. And his shirt was pretty short that day. He already got two missed calls on his phone from his band mates. And a stuck zipper really wasn’t helping.

Page 56: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu
Page 57: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Hate-Pimples/21024

http://www.indicine.com/movies/bollywood/top-10-bollywood-disas-ters-in-recent-times/

http://www.oddee.com/item_96587.aspx

http://www.vagabondinglife.com/diving-disaster/

http://www.hindustantimes.com/Jessica-Simpson-s-farting-disaster/Article1-503793.aspx

http://forums.tauonline.org/hobby/24367-humorous-glue-stories-acci-dents-mishaps.html

http://www.hotairballoonaccidents.com/AccidentReports.html

http://www.peanutallergy.com/boards/our-first-accident-indian-food

http://www.getyourlol.com/home/component/content/article/31-videos/478-bowling-ball-juggling-accident

http://www.seriouseats.com/talk/2008/11/funny-kitchen-disaster-sto-ries.html

http://taintnobodysbusiness.com/wordpress/?p=18

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/a-nightmare-at-the-opera-728368.html

REFERENCES

Page 58: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/monkey-enters-delhi-metro-delays-services-by-15-minutes-29288.php http://videos.mywebdunia.com/videosclub/english/video-fashion-show-accident-125328043139207.html

http://www.hindustantimes.com/snake-bites-model-s-breasts-dies/Article1-673607.aspx

http://uamodels.net/archives/worst-self-tanning-neutrogena-fake-tan-disaster/

http://www.themeparkinsider.com/reviews/universal_studios_florida/accidents/

http://www.channelv.in/

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/30847787/ns/today-weddings/

http://www.helium.com/knowledge/16795-christmas-disaster-humor-stories-you-know-things-are-going-badly-when

Page 59: The A-Z Book of Daily Life Disasters- Achala Basu

“Disaster is a natural part of my evolution. Toward tragedy and dissolution.”

-Chuck Plahnuik

How disastrous is a disaster? Look in to read some of the funniest day to

day life disaster andlaugh your minds out at the worst possible disasters from silicone poisoning to Indian

food.Its all in here!

Not-so-Heavy booksE-mail - [email protected]