thank god i died giving birth to twins by charlotte g

8/14/2019 Thank God I Died Giving Birth to Twins by Charlotte G

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INTRODUCTION

by John Castagnini

IMPORTANT...Please Do Not Skip This Section!

Why this ebook? What makes it so different? Not onlyare these answers important, they are integral to yourunderstanding of the story presented here. Please donot skip over this brief introduction in your eagernessto get to the meat of the ebook itself.

When I first thought to include Thank God I WasRaped as one of the stories for Thank God I...™ Volume1, the concept sent chills through my spine. Couldanyone who’s endured this brutal, horrifying experiencereally embrace these words? Over the years, I’veconsulted with countless women during their raperecovery. I chose the title after witnessing whattranspires for them when they come to this conclusionof gratitude. What became quite apparent over acourse of thousands upon thousands of conversationsis that we only evolve past the mental traum a fromsuch a happening when we can hold “the love for it in

our hearts”




What is meant by “God”?

God — Certainly, the biggest three-letter word evercreated. Grand Organized Designer best describes theGod referred to in the Thank God I...™ books, websiteeducational material and seminars.

The thousands of people sharing their stories in thisseries all perceive God in their own light. Thank GodI...™ is about this network of people, willing to movebeyond having the right “name” for God.

Even the word “God” itself cannot finite the infinite.

Rather, God refers to a system governing the brillianceof what is, and is not.

What this book series is not supposed to be.

This series does not condone or promote any of the

acts the writers have experienced, nor do we suggestin any way that anyone should either commit any ofthese acts or subject themselves to any of these acts.This series also does not promote or label any specifickind of behavior as “right” or “wrong”, nor were the storieswritten or the book published for the purpose of

suggesting that anyone rationalize their actions orbehavior.




After Cassandra passed, my heart was struck by thewords she put to the page as she endured thisexperience. She wrote of her earth angels and herexplorations as she left her body to “dance with herangels.” She did not write about her passing, she wroteabout Thank God I...™ living as she moved through herlife’s greatest test, and her life’s ending. She viewedeach person, each moment as precious. How fortunate

she was, to see God in the now.

Imagine — this is what she wrote about her cancer:

“Tears fill my eyes daily with gratitude for every moment and every breath. It has allowed me to go after my

dreams, to live from my heart, and to be truly free. I thank God for my cancer and for allowing me to reach a place in me that I don’t think would have been possible without this experience. I am now twenty- three and feel that I have stepped into my skin proudly.I have felt an inner peace that many don’t find until later in life. I am truly grateful for all my earth angels and

want to thank them for sharing with me this wonderful journey”

...Cassandra

There are 4 million tasks to accomplish in order to

bring the Thank God I...™ network to the standard of ourvision. Thank you, Cassandra, for reminding me why




Thank God I...™ was conceived in the first place.

Thanking God is about the above. Not just what isabove this sentence; it is about what is above, guidingus at every moment. Beyond the pain, chaos, andconfusion of our circumstance exists true perfection.Thanking God is about finding this perfection. Thisplace of thanking God might seem nearly impossible to

find, but it is the only place we will find ourselves.

Thank God I...™ is true “gratitude”.

Sure, we all hear about the “good things” that people aregrateful for in their lives. But, is this gratitude? Thank

God I...™ gratitude is about a state of being. It is about astate of inspiration, non-judgment, and presence.Thank God I...™ gratitude is beyond the illusion ofpositive or negative. It is beyond the lies of “good” and“evil”. Thank God I...™ . gratitude is about finding God inevery word, thought, and deed. In spirit, we are beyondthe illusion of pain or pleasure and we are present with

spirit. Thank God I...™ gratitude is about equal love forall that is, as it is, was, or ever shall become. Gratitudeis loving what we don’t “like” as much as loving what wedo “like”.

The diversity of authors and experiences

The intention of this series is to reach all of humanity,




every single unique creation. We did not base theselection of contributions to this series upon any faithor religious orientation. Each selected author took aformer challenge into their heart. The diversity ofauthors spans religions, countries, professions, age,race, nationality, and definitely experiences. Theyrange from strippers to doctors, from politicians to stay-at-home moms, and whoever they are, gratitude rules.

From alcoholism to molestation or rape, the law ofgratitude prevails with each of our authors.Thankfulness for whatever is, or is not, ultimately rulesevery one of our kingdoms.

The vision of Thank God I...™

Little did I imagine how lightning-fast Thank God I...™would circle the world. This network includesthousands of contributors, reaching millions of people,sharing not only their stories, but also their answers!Beyond the books, and the online community, we offerworldwide conference calls, workshops, and seminars!

The vision of this series will provide everyone withinspecific communities information in order to evolvepast the emotions that are holding them back. Thepeople and the project are revolutionary.

“All things in nature proceed from certain necessity and

with the utmost perfection.” ...Baruch Spinoza




Thank God

I Died Giving Birth to Twins

CHARLOTTE G.




On July 4, 1989, I had the "pleasure" ofexperiencing an extremely traumatic and painfulblessing! I was twenty-five, professionally successful,and had just purchased my first home. The futurelooked clear and promising, yet everything changedthat Independence Day.

During a neighborhood block party, I found myself

engaged in a conversation with a large man whoplayed on my sympathies. He told me that hisestranged wife had taken his two young children awayon Christmas Day. Depressed, he asked to show methe tree and presents still on display. Although somewhat inebriated, I never considered him a threat as I

walked to his place. He kept talking about the family hewanted back . . . but then his demeanor unexpectedlyand abruptly changed. He instantly became very angry. . . then he forced himself on me! I pleaded with him tostop. I wanted to get back to the party and my friends.His pent-up frustrations and anger exploded all overme. He hit me with his fist repeatedly as I again

pleaded with him to stop. He ripped off all my clothes.In fear and in pain, I gave in to his anger because Iwanted to live.

When he finished, he got into the shower. I crawled onthe floor and quietly grabbed my torn clothing before

running out the door. He literally chased after me witha towel around his waist, yelling, "Please, don't




tell anyone . . . I'm sorry!" When I got home, aconcerned friend who had noticed my disappearancewas waiting. She consoled me and took me to the localpolice department to give my statement. The officertold me that my situation might be considered a daterape and that I should not press charges. "Justlet it go. . . . The trial will be worse than the eventitself." I continued with my life as if nothing had

happened, convinced it was my fault.

I resumed my life as best I could. I threw myself intomy work, which required a fair amount of traveling.While on a business trip several weeks later, I becamedizzy, light-headed, and weak. Can you imagine how

surprised, angry, and confused I felt when I found out Iwas pregnant with twins" How was this possible?I'd been told during a previous relationship that Iwould be unable to conceive due to cysticendometriosis. I worked so hard to succeed in a man'sworld.

Now I found myself considering my options and beliefs.In the end, however, I decided this must be God's planfor me.

Looking back, my decision really wasn't hard, but life'snext curve ball was. With all the travel my job entailed,

my company decided that a single mother was unfit formy line of work.




I felt like my life was out of control.

__________

My life has been an adventure almost from thebeginning. I grew up an independent tomboy from an

upper middle class family. While my twin sister playedwith dolls, I played Army, went camping, and rode dirtbikes with my older brother.

Despite a challenging childhood with an abusive,alcoholic father, I became very self-sufficient. I joined

the Navy out of high school to become successful.Unfortunately, a series of medical challenges not onlyended my naval career but seemed to foreshadow thechaos to come. After the Navy, I entered the workforceas a hard-working woman trying to make it in amasculine paradigm. I did well with my training inelectronics and maintenance repair. I made money and

had fun. Before I knew it, I was a twenty-five-year-old,purchasing my first home.

Not only did my life change completely that July 4th, Iended up dying both figuratively and literally. Myidentity was stripped away by my attacker, my

employer, and by motherhood itself. I didn't know whatI was going to do or how I was going to feed my family,




but I knew I would find a way to survive. Yet, I almostdidn't survive at all.

I died giving birth to my boys! I was rushed into thesurgical delivery room after both of my sons'heartbeats had stopped. I bled to death on the table,trying to deliver my son Christopher. As I rose out ofmy body above the surgical lights, I saw and heard

everything, including my mother screaming,"Somebody do something! She's blue. She's mybaby -- please do something!" I watched fromabove as the doctor said, "We have to go c-section. We have no time to prep -- we'll losehim!" I remember the horror on my mother's face

as they pushed her out of the room while I wasclinically deceased. I remember praying to God,"Whatever you do, please save my son."Suddenly, I was jolted back into my body. I sat up asthe doctor started to cut me. I felt the knife. I looked atthe doctor and said, "Please save my son!"before passing out.

I woke up in the recovery room and was told not tomove or talk too much as I had lost over half my bloodsupply. I received blood transfusions, but all I wantedto know was if my boys were OK. They eventuallywheeled me into the nursery, where I saw Christopher

(5 lbs. 8 oz.) and Michael (6 lbs. 4 oz.) for the first time.




Ten fingers, ten toes . . . they were perfect.

__________

Over the years, I've learned the benefit of taking a stepback. To fully understand the impact of my attack, I

needed time and perspective to see the big picture.What would have happened if I decided to skip thatparty" When I think back on that fateful night, Ican honestly say I would not trade it for the world.Through that potentially traumatizing experience, Ireceived my reason for living! In many ways, my

womanhood was never a clean subject. Although Iliked boys, I always seemed to attract the losers. Itwould be fair to say I considered myself a brokenwoman before the attack. In that painful moment ofnecessary surrender, I received so much! I wasvalidated as a woman. I was saved.

My two boys -- my gifts from heaven -- have given mylife meaning and depth. Christopher and Michael notonly became my best friends, but being their motherbrought out in me both strength and compassion.

I began to know and understand myself like never

before. Although I'll always cherish the times spenttogether traveling or just hanging out with my boys,




I'll also fondly remember the struggle to put it alltogether.

I have always prided myself on being a fighter, andbeing a single mother was a monumental challenge.Whether working two jobs or persevering through oneof many health issues throughout the years, I alwaysfound a way to get it done. No one can ever take this

accomplishment away from me. I can honestly say Iam proud of myself.

When I received the opportunity to share my story, Ithought of family members, and other womenespecially, who get stuck by "traumatic"

events. Looking back through all my experiences, Ibelieve the key is to know that the blessings are thereeven if not apparent at the moment. I know theycertainly were not clear initially for me.

Many seemingly negative events occur that are meantto happen. These tragic events become the perfect

catalysts for change and growth.

My conclusion? Life can be a bitch sometimes, butyou've just got to keep on trucking. I've experiencedhell on earth and even death itself, but I found a lovingGod through my experiences. I know if, today, I came

across the man who forced himself on me, I wouldactually thank him. I am so grateful for him! . . .




Charlotte G. left a job with seven years vested in civilservice in order to move to a new area, believing shewould thus improve the quality of life for her sons. Anon-the-job injury led to two surgeries that put her out ofwork for seven months. Only her determination to bethere for her sons kept her hanging on. She believesshe doesn't have much time left on earth but wants toleave her sons in the best possible position that she

can. She says, "They have been my blessing. Ilove them with all that I am. They're my world; they arewhy I exist. They've made my life worth every bit ofliving. I love my sons. They've made my every downfalland disappointment in life my most rewarding becausethey were there."

Join the Thank God I…™ Community online to shareyour story and chat with the Thank God I…™ Authors.

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thank god i died giving birth to twins by charlotte g

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