terms in graphic design that drive you crazy

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Terms in graphic design that drive you crazy!!!!! CLEAN - Tired of hearing it. I'm a designer not janitor. I know what you're getting at when you say it but it's been said too much over the years and it just irritates me. What's a graphic design term do you hate? 5 months ago Like Comment Stop Following Flag More o Reply Privately Cheryl Growvogel , Rhonda Van Buskirk and 233 others like this You, Cheryl Growvogel , Rhonda Van Buskirk and 233 others like this 1,821 comments • Jump to most recent comments TeresaStop Following Follow Teresa Teresa Blen • "work your magic"...I try to hold back and state that I left my wand at home. 5 months ago • Reply privately • Flag as inappropriate • Flag as promotion OwaisStop Following Follow Owais

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Page 1: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Terms in graphic design that drive you crazy!!!!!

CLEAN - Tired of hearing it. I'm a designer not janitor. I know what you're getting at when you say it but it's been said too much over the years and it just irritates me. What's a graphic design term do you hate?

5 months ago

Like Comment Stop Following Flag More

o Reply Privately

Cheryl Growvogel, Rhonda Van Buskirk and 233 others like this

You, Cheryl Growvogel, Rhonda Van Buskirk and 233 others like this

1,821 comments • Jump to most recent comments

TeresaStop Following Follow Teresa

Teresa Blen • "work your magic"...I try to hold back and state that I left my wand at home.

5 months ago

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OwaisStop Following Follow Owais

Owais Baig • "place my logo here, a yellow strip there, a pink circle there, the text there, this is the picture, place it there....the rest is your creativity...show me how creative you are!!"

5 months ago

Page 2: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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PamelaStop Following Follow Pamela

Pamela Reitmeier • Wow...I hope you're in the minority b/c then I'll have to change my tagline...OR maybe I am seeking a janitorial designer position? Hmmmm, could be the niche I've been looking for...thx.

Oh, hate is a very strong word to pose in a question...IMHO.

5 months ago

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "Take it to the next level"

You want me to go upstairs with this?

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GregStop Following Follow Greg

Page 3: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Greg Shaffer • "Make my logo bigger but look smaller."

"Everything looks great. All we need to do is change this and this and move this and change this and make this this color and reword this and...."

"I want to stand out from the competition. Can you make it look just like this company's?"

5 months ago

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "You can't use yellow. My wife hates yellow."

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JulioStop Following Follow Julio

Julio Ramos • "I don't know what I want... but I will know when I see it"

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Page 4: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "That should only take you a couple of minutes to change..."

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Robert GStop Following Follow Robert G

Robert G Boulay • "I need it yesterday."

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MohamedStop Following Follow Mohamed

Mohamed Emad • "Using my character I need my website to be typically like this company website" and i laugh out loud when i complete this F**K copy design he told me, OMG, this is very similar to that website .... where is your creativity?! and when i try to be creative he told me you are so far to the sample that i told you about

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Page 5: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

MohamedStop Following Follow Mohamed

Mohamed Emad • Robert G Boulay .... I'm 100% Agree

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "Isn't there a place where you can download stock photos for free?"

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "Just drop this logo into the brochure. I don't have the original artwork, all I have is this fax of it from 12 years ago..."

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Page 6: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Christopher Porter • "Think outside the box." Almost always the mention of the box means get comfy we're staying inside for sure.

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "I'm trying to run a business here, OK, Mr. College Education?"

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SalStop Following Follow Sal

Sal Randazzo • "Make it pop!" "Make the colors pop!" "Work your magic!" "What do you mean you cannot use some of my PowerPoint art/decks to print with your 4c printer?" "Can you please fill this page design with larger logos, type, etc." "Why can we not go to your 4c printer to print my Word and PowerPoint documents?"

5 months ago

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Page 7: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • I want something web 2.0! Seriously dude if you say web 2.0 one more time I will stab you with my wacom tablet pen.

5 months ago

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • I want Client 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Robert GStop Following Follow Robert G

Robert G Boulay • Wished there were "Like" buttons here. Some good ones!

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Page 8: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "What do you mean you're not done yet? I gave it to you an hour ago!"

"Reflex blue, yes!!! That's the color I want! With red type on top!" (hurl)

Mike Kelly • "Thanks, you design work and production are superb! Your work is going to really help our marketing effort. Now, about your bill......"

5 months ago

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CherylStop Following Follow Cheryl

Cheryl Growvogel • Hahaha this discussion is great! Although I'm not a graphic designer, I am a writer and collaborate often with designers; I share their pain. One of my faves - "Looks good buuuuut, I just have one minor change..." That usually means you have about 1,000,000 more "minor changes" ahead.

5 months ago

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • I thought there was a button in Photoshop that just did that for you.

5 months ago

Page 9: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "It's just cut and paste. What's so hard about that?"

5 months ago

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NedStop Following Follow Ned

Ned Hoste • "I want you to use the space creatively" - translates as" I want you to fill every last square centimetre as tight as you can with type". "I want this to appeal to everyone" - translates - "I don't know who my target market is" "I want it lovely" - translates - "I don't know who my target market is" "We are one a really tight deadline for this - and we'll give you the copy about an hour before it needs to go to print in 2 weeks time" "Can you author this in Word?" "Word art will be fine for the illustrations" "Can you print this on cheap recycled paper" "I have an interest in typography - can you use Comic Sans" "We though Arial would be different - no one else is using it" "Could you do all the 10 design concepts for free and we'll chose one to go to print and pay you for that one" "Can we print metallic in CMYK" …I could go on!!

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Page 10: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

StephenStop Following Follow Stephen

Stephen Smith • "Do that magical thing you do" "Can you make everything bigger?" "I hate to do this to you, but I need it today"

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • "Just do everything you were told to do. But never show anything you don't like."

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Robert GStop Following Follow Robert G

Robert G Boulay • Love that one, William!

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Page 11: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

PamelaStop Following Follow Pamela

Pamela Reitmeier • William, excellent! Well played.

This isn't towards a client but it drives me crazy when a know-it-all designer has "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..." running throughout their website...as well as repetitive copy blocks.

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FeliceStop Following Follow Felice

Felice Croul • How 'bout this one – "Isn't there a website where you get free photos?"

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "I could get a high school kid to do that for 50 bucks!!!!!!"

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Page 12: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • I can get a barrio bum to do that for 5.00 and a bottle of dad's Rot Gut

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • It doesn't do anything for me.

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • Can you recreate this brochure? I can't get the original files from the designer who did this work.

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Page 13: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • We couldn't afford the designer we really wanted so we called you instead.

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Robert GStop Following Follow Robert G

Robert G Boulay • That one hurts, Jeff!

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RandStop Following Follow Rand

Rand MacIvor • Can you make the logo bigger?

(Sorry Greg, just saw you posted that earlier...)

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Page 14: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "If the client moans and sighs Make the logo twice the size

If they still should prove refractory Show a picture of their factory

Only in the gravest cases Should you show the client's faces"

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RandStop Following Follow Rand

Rand MacIvor • "I know I said I'd get you the text two weeks ago and I know the text I'm sending in this message (see word doc attached) is twice as long as I said it would be, and we still have a deadline of tomorrow, but could you please fit the type into the layout as is? It's already been approved by the committee..."

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MaryStop Following Follow Mary

Page 15: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Mary LaFleur • I hate the words 'graphic designer' because it has become such a catch-all description. There seems to be a naive categorization - lumping web developers, sign makers, powerpoint creators, etc. under this title. I am an old school art director, but now I feel like Big Foot - rare and little known.

Randall Holbrook • My email wont open your invoice, can you send it again?

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Oh Randall...that's nice or "gee, I just don't seem to be getting your emails w/the invoice attached..."

"Can you just work from my MS Publisher document??" (OMG>>>>>Really???? Just hold a gun to my head)

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JoeStop Following Follow Joe

Joe Kohnen • "can't you just stretch it to fit?" (type, photo, etc.)

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Page 16: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

KikiStop Following Follow Kiki

Kiki Kaloudi • I have heard almost everything from the above :) my favourite is the 'can we make something to move on the page / or I would like more movement on the page?'

5 months ago

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ToddStop Following Follow Todd

Todd Poteet • "just pull the content from my web site."

"I really don't like all this white space, could you fill it with these 12 pictures, but keep it airy and uncrowded."

5 months ago

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JodyStop Following Follow Jody

Jody Latham, Mgnt Dip (Open) • "Can you copy this Publisher document I have?"

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Page 17: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

JodyStop Following Follow Jody

Jody Latham, Mgnt Dip (Open) • "I havent charged the client for this so can you do a quick botch-it job, but make it pop!"

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JodyStop Following Follow Jody

Jody Latham, Mgnt Dip (Open) • "can we have it sideways?" "you mean landscape?" "huh?"

"can we have it upwards?" "sorry what?" "upwards, you know longways but going up" "you mean portrait?" "huh?" -gotta love account managers!!

5 months ago

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DouglasStop Following Follow Douglas

Douglas Mark • "They're looking for a new look, but don't spend a lot of time on it."

Page 18: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TimStop Following Follow Tim

Tim Rogers • make my logo bigger...

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Can you read this floppy?

Yes, kind of like that, but different.

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WarrenStop Following Follow Warren

Warren Westbo • Being instructed: "I want it to be impactful". WTF is "impactful"? After 40 years I still don't know. I agree with the earlier posters. "Work your magic", "clean" and "take it to the next level" are right up there.

Page 19: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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GailStop Following Follow Gail

Gail Oliver • "I sent you the photo (we got it off Google Images), can't you just blow it up to fill the page? I want it to be the main focus."..... It's 72 dpi and an inch wide, copyright?.... O_o argh!.... or, "I want to make changes to the work you did, but it won't open in Acrobat... can you send me your files and a copy of your program? Oh and I need the fonts & photos too"....... H@LL NO! .... or, "How come you charge so much?, I can do this myself in MS Publisher." Be my guest and good luck... I've learned to just walk away, WARNING!!!! Will(a) Robinson.... nuisance client ahead!

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Harmon • Are you a Rockstar Designer? Can you manage 250 projects at once? Can you design and program a website in 5 minutes while answering our phones and taking out the trash.

If so you'll be perfect for our company!

$10 per hour

A little exaggerated, but there are a ton of these want ads in Los Angeles at the moment.

5 months ago

Page 20: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • LOL Jeff! Oh my...

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Can we have diagonal scroll bars? (True story)

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JenniferStop Following Follow Jennifer

Jennifer Blatz • Here's a link to an image on Google. Just use this image. It looks great on my screen.

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Page 21: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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MarkStop Following Follow Mark

Mark McDougal • "Make it sexy!" (What the hell does that mean? Seriously, you can't come up with a more descriptive adjective?)

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Jennifer and Mark...I have heard those before.

Christopher - diagonal?? Wow, never heard that one. Must have been a very interesting client to say the least.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • You have no idea. A sitcom in the making.

Page 22: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • I bet! wow...

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WarrenStop Following Follow Warren

Warren Westbo • A former client once asked if I would show her assistant how I "design in Quark, Photoshop and Illustrator", so she can save money.

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • Warren, I've heard that one before.

true 80 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 23: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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CynthiaStop Following Follow Cynthia

Cynthia Ho • "Can he (the designer worked with me) try another font? What about a funnier ones?"

".......................funny font?............(What the #^%$#&^$#*& do you mean?!)"

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • Try using a font that has the little thingies on the bottom...you know, the fonts that have little feet...

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Page 24: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Jeff Marinelli • Them: "I don't like that font"

Me: "You mean this typeface?"

Them: "No, that font."

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher North • I had a client (who bought Pocket Pal and therefore knew ALL about design) once demand that her brochure be printed in 'spot RBG'.

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PamelaStop Following Follow Pamela

Pamela Reitmeier • Christopher N...thx for that, it's priceless!!! Never heard that one before.

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Page 25: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

TimStop Following Follow Tim

Tim Rogers • spot RGB... that's classic!

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CynthiaStop Following Follow Cynthia

Cynthia Ho • spot RGB... unforgettable :D

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PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • "Create a design that you are afraid to present." Huh? "I want an award-winning design" "No that isn't what I want, I'll send you a photoshop cover of what I want"

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Page 26: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Bruce Bauer (Linkedin Open Networker) • "It looks good on my computer screen"

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "Can you walk me through how to place this in Word and make it look as good as your brochure? I just want to print it on my printer" (then later on...) "Wow...what did you do to make that file so bad? I couldn't do anything w/it!!!"

Back to the original post...Christopher, the phrase I dislike most..."We only have X amount of $...make it work."

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SharonStop Following Follow Sharon

Sharon Hayes • "just click on it"

um - yeah - sure.... just hope I don't click on that "delete" command there.

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Page 27: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher North • And of course, everyone's favourite........ "Make the Logo Bigger!"

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SharonStop Following Follow Sharon

Sharon Hayes • don't forget the starburst - must have a starburst so they know it is important.

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Robert GStop Following Follow Robert G

Robert G Boulay • Client: "We have to follow the brand standards. We paid them enough for this shit." Designer (me): "Okay. So what do you want me to do about this odd one?" Client: "I don't give a shit. Just do what I want." Designer (me at the bar after work): This shitty client..."

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Page 28: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • "Perceived value should be $10 more than the actual value." This is for wine packaging design.

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RickStop Following Follow Rick

Rick Wolff • Him: "I need a piece of art I can put into a PowerPoint slide." Me: "No problem. Take the attached and place it into your PowerPoint slide," (later) Him: "Yeah, I can't open it." Me: "Okay, do you want to OPEN it, or do you want to put it into a PowerPoint slide?"

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Robert GStop Following Follow Robert G

Robert G Boulay • @Patti: I can so relate to what you just posted. Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, we had this well-dressed gentleman who wanted my agency to promote his new fragrance. He was a chemist by profession and he was confident about his new product. So we all gathered in the boardroom and samples were distributed.

Page 29: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

To everyone's surprise, this was really good. My boss, seeing the overall reaction, declared: "I believe in your product. Let's sign a contract for $250K and my team will make you a millionaire."

To which he answered: "Whoa! WTF are you talking about? I've got five grand to invest in this shit."

My boss: "Your shit is good enough to sell for $80 a bottle at Holt Renfrew (Neiman Marcus for my American friends).

Chemist: Nah. I want to sell it at Zellers (Walmart) for $9.99.

This is my most memorable moment: My boss raised from his chair, and calmly said: "I guess you don't want to be a millionaire, like me." And he exited.

Why work trying to sell five Chevys when you can spend a quarter of the time selling one Cadillac and make the same money?

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EmilioStop Following Follow Emilio

Emilio Ruiz [LION1K+] • I want it more edgy!!!!!!!!!!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

true 100 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 30: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Traci Stoddard • Emilio, would that be torn, shredded, burnt or sliced edges? :)

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EmilioStop Following Follow Emilio

Emilio Ruiz [LION1K+] • Usually burnt by the time you finish with most clients, not all. Thank God.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Ouch!

How about "Are we there yet?" oh wait...isn't that from a road trip or something...everything is blending together...

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Page 31: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Christopher Porter • As you're finishing up. . . . ."We've decided to go in another direction"

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NathanStop Following Follow Nathan

Nathan Cleveland • Make it pop! (So stupid.)

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Augh!!! Christopher...I've been through that so many times and Nathan, that as well.

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PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • That "we've decided to go in another direction" usually mean "we want to use another designer".

Page 32: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • oooh...true, Patti...for less cost and imagination unfortunately.

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Levison • Tom Fishburne's cartoon 'The 8 types of bad creative critics' says it all. http://tomfishburne.com/design

Classic!

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SueStop Following Follow Sue

Sue Thomas • "Oh and by the way it's MEGA URGENT"

Page 33: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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FelixStop Following Follow Felix

Felix Huisken • "I allways design everything in Word myself"

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TimStop Following Follow Tim

Tim Rogers • "I need it yesterday, but rush charges aren't in my budget"

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LindaStop Following Follow Linda

Linda Latino • and how about when they walk it around and ask the secretary with the shrine to Elvis what she thinks : )

5 months ago

Page 34: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • "I'd like it in a green font."

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • Or (handing me a horribly out-of-focus photograph) "Enhance this so that it looks good." me: "Um... I can't do that." them: "Sure you can—I've seen it on CSI."

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PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • Patty: I'm working on one of those now! "Can't you just extend the door, put in some vineyards, and put the lady in a chair?" It would have taken less time to re-shoot the photo but the lady is dead and all I have is a black/white copy of her.

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RyanStop Following Follow Ryan

Ryan Parker • I love getting requests for 10 different options.

To quote Steve Jobs talking about working with Paul Rand: {I asked him if he would come up with a few options. And he said, “No. I will solve your problem for you. And you will pay me. And you don’t have to use the solution. If you want options, go talk to other people. But I’ll solve your problem for you the best way I know how. And you use it or not. That’s up to you. You’re the client. But you pay me.” And there was a clarity about the relationship that was refreshing.}

More Paul Rand: "Good ideas rarely come in bunches. The designer who voluntarily presents his client with a batch of layouts does so not out prolificacy, but out of uncertainty or fear."

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Ryan...love it!

5 months ago

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true 120 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 36: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • Patti--I had one guy who would give me Photoshop instructions like "Put in a mountain, and make this guy's face look frustrated--like he wants to climb the mountain and can't do it..." My old CEO wanted me to take an existing photo of a very pale little blonde girl and "make her black," so that the ad could run in the city. I tried to tell him that you can't just color in her skin and hair--it wouldn't look right. He didn't believe me and I ended up doing about 20 versions of this same girl until he finally let me go to Getty and buy a photo of a genuinely black little girl.

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NathanStop Following Follow Nathan

Nathan Cleveland • What an idiot.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • OMG...wow. TG I haven't had to do any of that stuff (yet) :)

Page 37: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TimStop Following Follow Tim

Tim Rogers • WOW Patti, thats crazy! I had a client ask me to "photoshop" a great looking African American couple out of a beach shot for a campaign we did because, in his words, "black people don't swim and it would give the wrong message"

I had no comeback for that one at the time, it stunned me. What an ass!

btw, we left them in much to his displeasure :-D

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TimStop Following Follow Tim

Tim Rogers • back to the thread... i can't stand the term "photoshop it".

It's called retouching! What your 13 year old nephew does is photoshopping, not us!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • ...Tim...or Paint

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Can you put an underline on that?"

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Can you whip this up for me?"

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Page 39: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Vannon Chiang • @ Ryan: Thanks for the Paul Rand quotes. I studied him back in my school days and was really inspired by him.

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EmilioStop Following Follow Emilio

Emilio Ruiz [LION1K+] • @Patti that client was as dumb as a bag of hammers.

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • Precise instructions like: "Move this logo by about a millimeter" "Shrink the logo by about 8%"

At this point, I'm just a guy operating the computer.

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PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • "I'm going on vacation in a couple of days, can you get it to me before then?"

Emilio: I think you mean the other Patty. I'm still working on the design with the dead lady. I got the door on the building, added the vineyards. I can't believe I've been in business for 20+ years and am working on something like this.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • wow...now Patti? unreal. I would like to see the final product if you'd like to share.

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "This needs to pop more"

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • As you are on the 9th revision... "Oh, you're right, let's go with version 2"

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "The client is in a panic for this"

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Make it look good, but don't spend too much time on it"

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Can I see this in the Ariel Bold font?"

1 hour ago

o Like Unlike o Add comment

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Wow Vannon...no issues w/your clients there huh? :) We have all had this and sounds like my daily job! Vent, brother...Vent!!!

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Can I see this in Times New Roman?"

5 months ago

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Page 43: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Actually (and don't burn me at the stake for this one...) TNW or something closely does have its purpose, but certainly not on everything.

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PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • "My web guy is on hold because he's waiting for the graphics from you. When are we going to wrap this up?"

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MelissaStop Following Follow Melissa

Melissa Hendricks, APR • "Pretty it up." or "Re-work this." (Usually referring to something that's all wrong to begin with or what a self-appointed expert decides is a creative idea.)

...and, I agree with Julio: "I don't know what I want... but I will know when I see it" (UGH!)

Page 44: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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ShawnStop Following Follow Shawn

Shawn Jones • coming from a printshop, I hear a lot of these. There seems to be a never ending supply of backseat driver clients, for certain. And the boss is always saying, "just make it work... and hurry." Sure, let me just pull out my pixie dust and rub my magic lamp.

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AlgertStop Following Follow Algert

Algert Sula • "...ah, and can you please make that logo bigger!" :P

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • ok, so that logo needs to fit in a .25 x .25...why can't I read my company name now??? duh!!!!!!

Page 45: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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SharonStop Following Follow Sharon

Sharon Hayes • Had to speak with one client about their print job and the fact they faxed us all of the text. I could tell they used a program like Word to type it out, but when I called to ask for the .doc file - I shouldn't have asked for the "electronic file."

The next question was "What is an electronic file?"

I think my stunned silence clued her in on the fact she should have known when working with print at that time. Her next statement was: "Maybe I should get someone else to call you back and follow up with you?"

I could only respond with "Yes, please. I would appreciate that." Or something close.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Kind of reminds me of the people that think the CD drive is a coffee cup holder...

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KymStop Following Follow Kym

Kym Ramadge • Great list everyone, have really enjoyed reading all the comments.

Think I have heard nearly most of them over the years....especially the "Can you make it pop...", "Make our logo bigger..." and "We like this font, its called Times New Roman..."

One I dislike the most? "I've just mocked this up in PPT and/or Photoshop to show how I want it...."

Recent comment from a young marketing intern client "If they would let us have the Adobe Creative Suite here, I could show you how I want this to look..."

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "I don't like them, can I see another option?"

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • I want it to be a pucey, tealy kind of green like the curtains in the reception area

Page 47: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • "This should be an easy one." Of course it is. You gave it to ME!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "Eh...lemme give it to my kid. They're a wiz at this stuff...they did my Facebook page."

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • LOL!!!! Been there!

5 months ago

Page 48: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • I had a client tell me once: "I studied art in college".

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • LOL!!! Dejavu!!! Maybe it was the same guy!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • ...on the walls of a bathroom stall at the nightclub?

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Page 49: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Can you add a drop shadow on all the copy?"

Vannon Chiang • On a website: "Can you make that headline BLINK on and off?"

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • "So you must be the Artiste!"

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PaulStop Following Follow Paul

Paul Silva • "Now lets get those creative juices flowing"

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Page 50: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

PattiStop Following Follow Patti

Patti Britton • "My wife is a painter."

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JulieStop Following Follow Julie

Julie Demler • "All we need is a little one-sheeter. That shouldn't be so hard." Translation: cram all our info into a smaller space.

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ToddStop Following Follow Todd

Todd Curtis • All these comments should be added to this site:

http://clientsfromhell.net/

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Page 51: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

ZoeStop Following Follow Zoe

Zoe Sizemore • Just photoshop it!!!

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BerticaStop Following Follow Bertica

Bertica Garcia Dubus • How long? Really? I'll have my secretary do it then ... she loves playing in Photoshop.

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JesusStop Following Follow Jesus

Jesus Cardenas • "I don't know what I want, but that looks similar to what I want, but change it a bit and make it look edgy"

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JesusStop Following Follow Jesus

Jesus Cardenas • "Just LAZZO it"

lmao

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Jesus...I'm sorry but you look a little similar to Johnny Knoxville...lmao! :)

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RonaldStop Following Follow Ronald

Ronald Paredes • "It doesn't look good, I don't like the colors you are using, can you change them because it doesn't look good in my computer" ...and the bastard is using a 15 years old cheap chinese computer screen.

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AndrewStop Following Follow Andrew

Andrew Gowers • Two that irk me:

"Can you knock something up" "I've done this in Publisher...."

Think we all know what comes after that!

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JesusStop Following Follow Jesus

Jesus Cardenas • Traci, lol I had to change my photo after that one, that is the first time that I've heard that one.......

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Jesus, it's not a bad thing. No need to change. :)

5 months ago

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ClayStop Following Follow Clay

Clay Skougard • Can we make it "POP"?

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ClayStop Following Follow Clay

Clay Skougard • You did a really good job on the burger but, "can we make it a little more burgery?" I almost fell out of my chair. Also have heard from the same person, "cake it less cheesy". The burger had melted cheese all over it...

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Can you add more sesame seeds on the bun?"

Page 55: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "That pickle looks like like a butter pickle. Can you make it dill?" (great, now I'm hungry...)

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "That cheese looks too melted, can you make it a bit more like a fresh slice?"

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KhalilStop Following Follow Khalil

true 180 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 56: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Khalil Mounji • client :" i made posters with 'paint' and 'ppt'....

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ThomasStop Following Follow Thomas

Thomas Wilk • "We're looking for something out of the box"

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JulieStop Following Follow Julie

Julie Demler • "We need MORE calls to action." Great, so now the reader will be totally confused about what you want them to do.

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JanellStop Following Follow Janell

Janell Conner • At my first design job, for the cover of an important government publication for 5 different organizations, "Since it's close to Thanksgiving, I'd like to see a cornucopia

Page 57: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

with the logos of the 5 government organizations spilling out of it, or maybe a fruit basket, with each of the logos on different types of fruit".

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KarieStop Following Follow Karie

Karie Williams • I found this font that I like; it's called Scriptina.

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • Not a term, but a bad sign: Directly from a well paid senior designer, a FA file for CMYK printing, it has over 18 Pantone colors in use, numerous RGB imports, and bleed photos that include no bleed.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Page 58: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Christopher Porter • Vio Con Dios.

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GregStop Following Follow Greg

Greg Gutbezahl • Art director. It used to be a position one would strive for after a number of years, one which was attained on merit (usually). Now, anyone with a computer is an art director.

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JoelStop Following Follow Joel

Joel Lapinski • Looks great...but now can you send it to me in Word?

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Page 59: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Jim Pallotta • " We need this right away. Do you mind if we pay you in a few months? "

Sure, I'll just tell the bank to hold all of my bills until then.

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GregStop Following Follow Greg

Greg Gutbezahl • Joel... argh. Been there. We did an entire set of 24 forms in InDesign, with the client's direct approval (they wanted them to look very professional). Then we got an "oops, we need to be able to edit them. Can you import them into Word, but keep the formatting?"

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • (Heard this one today)...can you fix that copy in that web page (ie...that web page linked to someone else's page that I have no control over). My own company...Really??? LOLOLOL!

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TerryStop Following Follow Terry

Terry Pacifico • "What are you gonna do to fill all that white space?"

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FawnStop Following Follow Fawn

Fawn Gracey • The poster looks great. Can you send it to me in PowerPoint so I can edit it? We changed all the text.

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • I suppose that will do.

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Bruce Cohen • "Bulk Mailing Permit #,"

What's that, we have to mail in two days

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • "... but I was taught to ALWAYS put two spaces after periods. Can't you go through the (350 page) manuscript and put them all back?

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JoelStop Following Follow Joel

Joel Lapinski • How about "is it too late to make a little change" ...as the piece is being plated.

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GregStop Following Follow Greg

Greg Gutbezahl • Joel, you are the winner! NOTHING is more annoying that that sadly oft-heard phrase.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Powers • Wanna scream every time a new client sends me a JPG of their logo, and when I ask for a vector version...we go through this song and dance til I finally hear what I dread most... They don't have an original file because they paid someone on Guru or Elance on the other side of the world who only gave them a GIF and JPG... I get this once a month..it just kills me...

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ToddStop Following Follow Todd

Todd Palmer • "I get nervous when I don't find any mistakes."

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • Awesome list guys.

My peeves are: "don't spend more than an hour" and "the WOW factor"

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Ahh yes the infamous "WOW Factor"

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MeganStop Following Follow Megan

Megan Wright • I really want it to pop. I feel we need to do something with the empty white space.

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PaulStop Following Follow Paul

Paul Croubalian • "Give me something elegant and sophisticated, and I like this font (balloony comic-book font)"

"We need the corporate brochure to match well with the reception decor"

"We want a corporate brag-book like you did for (name witheld, but this was for a start-up by two post-grad students.... what the F!!CK do they have to brag about)

And my personal fav.....

"We want it to be completely different, but use the existing text, logo, colors, and pix"

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Herbst • "Look at all this room. We can fill that up, can't we?"

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Ahhh...the awesomely crappy jpg or gif logo....PUKE!!! then you have to redraw them in illustrator and...wait for it...."Gee, can you do this to it?" Really????

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RochelleStop Following Follow Rochelle

Rochelle Sollish • When asking for direction, client offers "it needs some oomph. Bigger. Brighter colors. I want it to say we're best...you know what I mean..." No I don't.

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SouleyeStop Following Follow Souleye

Souleye Cisse • reading these comments brightened my day. really! started looking for the 'like' button. remember this is not facebook. but i hate facebook! I'm not a graphic designer, so nothing drives me crazy about it. I cringe when a client tells me 'I wanna sit with you'. lucky they didn't say 'sleep'. how much am I gonna charge you for babysitting me? some people wanna control every pixel of the layout. 'that pixel, can we go back to photoshop and you increase its value by 3.753%?'

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • Let's be a little fair here though. If they knew the exact terms to use, or if their logos were perfect and in the correct formats, and they had good taste, they may not be our clients.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Boo Jim. Boo

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Lencioni • Client comes in with a really bad photo, low res, underexposed, bad composition, and says, " You can photoshop this, right?" Well, truth is, you CAN work miracles with photoshop...but some things are beyond saving!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Boo Christopher, Boo...Jim is right to some degree. "If they cannot do it themselves, they need to find a person to do it for them." In any trade that is correct...ie...plumber, carpenter, DESIGNER, banker, etc...

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • My favorite quote came from a sign at a auto repair shop:

Rates: $25 per hour if you bring in to us and drop it off $50 if you tell us what's wrong $75 if you tried to fix it yourself first

I think that fits for design as well.

@ Christopher. I don't mind the client that doesn't know all the proper terms. That's not their job. It's mine. What I do mind is the client that doesn't know what he's saying but thinks I'm the one that's wrong.

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • Jim : That auto shop sign says a lot. Got any picture of it?

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ShawnStop Following Follow Shawn

Shawn Jones • many people don't trust or believe that the designer (or many professionals) knows best, because they often think/feel they're getting sold something they don't want.

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • I wish I did. That was a long time ago. My second favorite sign was at a bar and doesn't relate. Still funny though.

T Shirts. $8.00 each or 2 for $20.00

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Page 69: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

MattStop Following Follow Matt

Matt Davis • On Wednesday the client emails and says "I will send you the rest of the content on Friday." On Friday, the client emails and asks "Are you done with the site yet?"

"I want you to use this font." After using the requested font: "Why did you use such a plain, boring font?"

"Please blow up this photo and fill the left side of the page with it." The photo they send is 72 dpi and about 1.5" x 2". It is the only file they have.

"I know exactly what I want." This is almost never true.

"This should be a simple site for you to design."

Actually, the word 'simple' bothers me because it is almost never simple.

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Bruce Cohen • Then there's always "Don't worry, I'll make it up on the next job".

Which is always combined with "The check is in the mail"

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SharonStop Following Follow Sharon

Sharon Wall • I've had people, when I ask them to proof my work, say "I trust you". I then politely tell them that yes, you will proof it!

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • This thread brings to mind a poem I heard from the senior art director at my first job:

If the client moans and sighs, Make the logo twice its size, If it's still not satisfactory, Show a picture of his factory, But only in the gravest case, Do you ever show the client's face.

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • Some of the most dreaded words I've ever heard ... more than once, "We've decided to have a logo contest ..."

Page 71: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • Jim : Absolutely. It is an important part of our job to help our clients understand our process. As conservative as some of my clients might be, they all respect my expertise and our profession.

It is when these "terms in graphic design" came directly from (supposed to be) a "creative type" that hurts the most.

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JimStop Following Follow Jim

Jim Pallotta • William. Oh I get it. I've had my fair share of nightmare scenarios. Bone chilling in fact.Some I won't post publicly. A simple one is in order:

"I can't get to the web site you built for us.""Do you have the URL?""What?""The web address.""Where do I find that?""Open a browser and type it in the top bar.""Browser?""Find Internet Explorer.""Where?""Maybe on your desktop""Okay, let me turn my computer on then you can tell me where to find that."

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And I'm shortening it. It took me a while to realize that not only did the person not know the basics of even looking at a web site, but that the computer was not turned on. They did have web access. By accident I think.

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SouleyeStop Following Follow Souleye

Souleye Cisse • how about this one? 'do you have an idea what you want the logo to look like?' 'no, we don't. if we did, we would do it ourselves'!

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SharonStop Following Follow Sharon

Sharon Charteress • Can you just print this in large format... No it's only 72dpi, when will people learn !

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • Don't you have like piles of DVD's with free photos on them. I just need a photo (insert odd photo Imagery).

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JasonStop Following Follow Jason

Jason Schnabel • ("creative" "director" hands me an open issue of CommArts with a post-it stuck next to a featured design)

CD: Just make it look like this.

Me: Ummm. Well... I could use similar colors and rethink the layout and...

CD: No. Don't. Just make it look exactly like this one.

Me: ...

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • How come the proof doesn't look like my screen!

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • I had one client who had a two-color job with a specified PMS green. He didn't like the fact that the green on the proof didn't match the PMS color exactly. I gave him the PMS swatch and told him that the color would look JUST LIKE THE SWATCH. He wanted me to get a comp PRINTED with the PMS color--but he didn't want to pay for it.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Yeah, Brian/Patty/Everyone...some people just don't get it. :)

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • For all those who have not yet seen this—bon appetit.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell

true 240 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 75: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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MelissaStop Following Follow Melissa

Melissa Hendricks, APR • Patty! This is great! What's really annoying is when the client who screwed up the original design beyond recognition gives you all the credit for the final product... being the "selfless leader".

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CeciliaStop Following Follow Cecilia

Cecilia Torres • "Edgy"

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DonnaStop Following Follow Donna

Donna Randles • SharePoint

5 months ago

Page 76: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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JudyStop Following Follow Judy

Judy Hall • I love this statement, usually made on the 4th or 5th round of proof revisions: "Um... guess we should REALLY read it closely now, right?" (no... please just skim over that rate card proof; I'm sure a misplaced comma or two won't matter much to your customers! In fact, we can probably still make a few corrections once we get on press.)

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Judy, how about they only 'really read it' when they get their 100,000 printed pieces and say, "Hey did you know such and such is wrong??"

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JillStop Following Follow Jill

Jill LeVan • ASAP! I had a boss years ago who said it constantly for every project. I still cringe when I hear it. (ASAP is not a deadline...) This same boss loved yelling at people. One day

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when he wasn't thrilled with a design I had come up with yells at me, "I want creativity and I want it NOW!"

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Vannon Chiang • Loved the cartoon Patty! Made my Friday.

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CarolynStop Following Follow Carolyn

Carolyn Tierney • "High-end", as in "I want to make sure this looks 'high-end'." As opposed to...a piece of crap with neon colors, clip art, and 8 different fonts? I generally try to stay away from designing THOSE kinds of pieces as a rule of thumb. ;)

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William Lam • Jill : That's really sad. It hurts most when "it" came from a supposed to be "senior creative type".

In my experience, clients in general are very professional with designers. And I have found that the higher rank my clients are in their companies the more they respect designer's recommendations. Retaining a very positive and productive relationship.

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JillStop Following Follow Jill

Jill LeVan • William: No, he wasn't a creative type, just the business owner. He had issues...

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • I worked in the art department in a publishing company where all the brass thought that their work was the most important. I had a great boss who told them, "There is no such thing as ASAP. Just tell me when you reasonably expect it and I will tell you if it's possible. If you write ASAP, it will go behind all the jobs with real dates and times on them."

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PattyStop Following Follow Patty

Patty Wall • In a previous job the situation got downright silly. EVERYTHING was ASAP, so people started writing adjectives in FRONT of "ASAP," thinking the more adjectives they put, the faster the job would get done. We started finding jobs on the job pile saying things like "SUPER FAST BLAZING HOT RUSH ASAP!!!!"

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JillStop Following Follow Jill

Jill LeVan • Patty, ack! I'm cringing. But that was a nice boss you had who put ASAP at the bottom of the pile. Smart.

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KathleenStop Following Follow Kathleen

Kathleen Kinney • "Why does it have so much blank space. Can't we put more on here?"

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KathleenStop Following Follow Kathleen

Kathleen Kinney • "Publisher"

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KathleenStop Following Follow Kathleen

Kathleen Kinney • "My 12 year old daughter doesn't like it"

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AllaStop Following Follow Alla

Alla Kerker • "There is too much white space, let's fill it in with something"

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • My dog won't pay attention to the flash...what's the deal?

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StevenStop Following Follow Steven

Steven Gross • CLIENT: "I'm not a visual person." (Followed by:) "Can you do 8 or 10 comp'ed treatments; I'll know what the right one is when I see it."

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JayStop Following Follow Jay

Jay Archambeau • I need it by EOD / EOB...when exactly is the "end of day" or "end of business?" In a designer's world, that would two-thousand-never! :)

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StefanieStop Following Follow Stefanie

Stefanie Kenyon • Can you make it stronger? Only if you can articulate what you mean by stronger. My favourite is "this is easy" to which I respond "you do it then".

I once made a label called "make graphic" and stuck it on the F13 key. When clients said "just make a graphic" I'd say "okay, I'll press the "make graphic key" and you would not believe how many of them thought it would really make a graphic.

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JillStop Following Follow Jill

Jill LeVan • Stefanie, classic! I agree with the "this is easy" annoyance. I once worked with an AE who said that EVERY TIME he gave me a project to work on. I got so tired of it that one day I said, "If everything I do is so easy, why don't you go out on the street and get a homeless person to do it. You could probably pay him less and save some money." This was the same AE who liked to call me The Blond Wrist. "We're only interested in you from the wrist down."

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William Lam • Jill, that last "comment" ought to be among the saddest ones on this list. I hope you are working with a better company now.

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Shawn Jones • Jill, that is the saddest thing I have read today... mostly because I've been treated the same way. Some co-workers don't see us as talented designers, we're just button pushers, and get to 'play' on the 'puter all day.

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • Jill and Shawn : It is a big sin to bury creative talents. This is million times worse.

Until the day businesses recognize the importance of true design, and start taking care of their very culture for creativity, with sick characters these abuses will continue.

And yes it does hurt the most when it came from within (supposedly) your work "team".

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StefanieStop Following Follow Stefanie

Stefanie Kenyon • Ah, Jill. Don't let the bastards grind you down. I call myself the colourer-inner at work because then everyone knows what I do. Jealousy has a funny way of being expressed by people who think they are so "creative". I've worked with creative directors who were seething masses of jealousy and insecurity (and should be because they weren't very good) and it was obvious they were bad at their job by the way they put the ADs and designers down.

The other thing I hate is clients/colleagues referring to my equipment (Mac, cinema display & Wacom tablet/pen) as toys. Yeah guys, I'm just playing all day here. I'm surprised that you pay me for having sooo much fun.

I'm still laughing about 'spot RGB' from that earlier post. Man, that's made my year.

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CindyStop Following Follow Cindy

Cindy Weinstein • "Perfect! We just have to run it by compliance and then we're good to go."

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JayStop Following Follow Jay

Jay Archambeau • Similar to other postings: "It's just an email design, right?" In design, "just" is a dangerous term as it diminishes the value we provide. This may be compared to the quantifier of "easy." My opinion.

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PaulStop Following Follow Paul

Paul Sousa • Your charging me how much? It's just a simple logo!

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • "My wife sketched out this logo ... could you just clean it up a bit?"

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JoelStop Following Follow Joel

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Joel Lapinski • Bob...that's a good one...how about this variation "I've did the logo in Word using clip-art and Word art...can you touch it up a bit?" I am thinking how I can put it to them in the nicest way that it is better to start over.

Mike Tippett • "this shouldn't take you too long." "...but I sent you their website logo for you to use on the brochure."

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DanielStop Following Follow Daniel

Daniel Couper • Could you just make a small change to this?Two hours later:Could you just make a small change to this?Two hours later:Could you just make a small change to this?Two hours later:Could you just make a small change to this?Two hours later:Could you just make a small change to this?Two hours later:Could you just make a small change to this?Next day:Oh, in fact, we've had this idea, we're not quite sure about the original design, so could we do something completely different?

also, 'creative': We want something a bit more 'creative', we just don't think that's quite 'creative' enough, we want a 'creative' solution. We haven't actually given you any concrete specifications but I'm sure that you'll do something really great and creative that we will pick apart and make you redo from scratch because we never gave you any specifications

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • @ Daniel - therein lies the importance of including the number of revisions in your quotation. ; )

Not really a "graphic term", but since we are bitch slapping our clients, I have always been annoyed at how they perceive us as commodity sellers assuming the more they buy, the cheaper it gets.

A friend was asked to faux marble paint one of 16 pillars in a big restaurant. The client wanted to see the quality and negotiate the remaining 15. My friend did the first one for $750. When the client loved the result he asked for the remainder to be done for $250 each. My friend replied with a quote of $1000 each and said "the first one was fun".

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Eileen MacAvery Kane • "Have fun with it" - as in "I'm giving this to you because I think you'll have a lot of fun with it," as if graphic design has no work involved, or skill, we're just fooling around all day.

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Nothing fancy, just something that looks good."

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "We want the WOW factor." "It just needs a little more oomph."

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Bruce Cohen • I once worked under an AD who was notorious for looking at a layout/mechanical (this was prior to computers) and saying "This wants to be…"

Well, one day I had more than enough and I put my ear on the layout and said "Nope, that's not what its saying at all".

Needless to say, I was fired on that Friday. But it was worth it.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • LOL! Bruce...how wonderful that must have been! :)

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NinaStop Following Follow Nina

Nina Gomez • "Pop". I would like very much to never hear that something does or should "pop". "That design is beautiful,but perhaps we can add some yellow to make it pop" "You know how...." "You know how you go to a page and it has this...you know how...like it sort of moves? Can you do that?"

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MarkStop Following Follow Mark

Mark LeBay • "This is very important, it NEEDS to grab attention" ... "This is very important, it NEEDS to grab attention" ... "This is very important, it NEEDS to grab attention" ... "This is very important, it NEEDS to grab attention" ... "This is very important, it NEEDS to grab attention" ... "This is very important, it NEEDS to grab attention" ... (all of course in reference to the same document, page, ad what have you.)

Page 90: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • "Could you put that information in a burst?"

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DavidStop Following Follow David

David Speakman • In general, it's the overall thought that we're being "difficult". Like it's all a conspiracy. Not being able to use a logo from a website, or your fax cover sheet. There being no resource for free stock photography. Not being able to commercially print your powerpoint or use your powerpoint graphics in print. For that matter, not even knowing how to use powerpoint or any of those other programs that everyone else uses.

How about, "you're into computers, how do I connect to this projector and then to the internet?"

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JayStop Following Follow Jay

Jay Archambeau • David Speakman and Christopher Robinson: Absolutely (and thank you for the well needed laughs)!

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GoyoStop Following Follow Goyo

Goyo Amaro • "That looks pretty"

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Davis • Mac -- the computer for the rest of us.

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JoeStop Following Follow Joe

Page 92: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Joe Kohnen • "Could you add some glitter to it?"

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PatriciaStop Following Follow Patricia

Patricia Fernandez • "I'll email you my logo" .... I open up the email... Its in WORD.

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PatriciaStop Following Follow Patricia

Patricia Fernandez • "can you throw something together...".

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Vannon Chiang • Patricia, in the back of your mind, you'd like to "throw" them something too.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • ...Vannon...a grenade :)

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • When trying to explain the fact that design is a skilled expertise, the immediate response was "Every organism designs."

Traci, what should we throw for this one? btw, that response came from a "designer", now feel any differently?

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Sounds like that 'designer' needs a brain thrown his/her way... too many fumes??

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • Spray mount fumes

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ClaireStop Following Follow Claire

Claire Kaler • I'm taking this layout home for my wife (cousin, nephew, etc.) to look at. She is very talented.

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

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Bob Hoot • "I thought we owned that logo. I know we didn't select that one, but another department saw it and liked it, so they just added their name underneath. That's OK, isn't it?"

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JayStop Following Follow Jay

Jay Archambeau • Claire,

I never minded this practice too much. It is good for me to receive the third-party (once or twice removed) feedback. There's always something to be said about those who aren't classically trained in design in terms of the responses they offer. Most times, I find that unfiltered perspectives such as these keep me grounded and designing for the real world. Just a thought.

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • Comic sans should be outlawed.

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • Brian, I once applied for a job as editor and creative director of an alumni publication at a specialty journalism department at a prestigious public university. In spite of almost 20 years as a editor, designer and publisher of magazines, I didn't even get an interview. But the part that really hurt — the email rejection was in Comic Sans. Ouch!

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Bruce Cohen • @ Bob-

Cheer up, it could have been typed in Dom Casual (the ugliest typeface in the universe).

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Bruce Cohen • When I was freelancing, a rather new client returned some presentation boards with this comment attached "This looks like shit". Needles to say I dropped them like _____ , you fill in the blank!!

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "spice" it up a bit. What would you prefer, habanero, jalapeno, cayenne?

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "You need to make it more contrasty or something"

(I had a client say this. I am not making this up.)

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • I need a quote on a print job, Its four color, RGB and White.

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Ron DavidStop Following Follow Ron David

Ron David Ben Ishay • The text is too small....make it in red...no blue...mybe grey, WTF.. i am the Designer or you? so for what you are paying me so much money? can you make it this blue..no no no...more bright...more hue...more situration...hey..it's green already...

i will never understand what peaple want from us...you pay me for my knowladge, let me do my work quietlly ..please!!!

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ClaireStop Following Follow Claire

Claire Kaler • Make sure it doesn't look expensive...

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JenniferStop Following Follow Jennifer

Jennifer Kuells • "Make it POP!"

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BruceStop Following Follow Bruce

Bruce Cohen • Claire,

I love that post of yours, been there heard that

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • "Make it black, bold, underlined and italicized.... with a slight drop shadow."

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JohannStop Following Follow Johann

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Page 100: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Johann Rosario • Corporate Client says: "It needs to be consistent." Meaning: repetitive, linear, safe and restrictive. Which also means: "Take no risk." "Keep it formal." "Make sure it pleases everyone by making it into something that meets the lowest common denominator of satisfaction for everyone. That is; If even one person objects to anything, then it's not being consistent."

He also likes the word consistent because it sounds knowledgeable in meetings when it's his turn to talk. Its the perfect word for essentially saying nothing at all, while still sounding involved. "Yes! Make it CONSISTENT! That's it!

Just one question: Consistent with what?

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Cindy Weinstein • A lot of my success as an art director has come from my willingness to act as interpreter, translator and sometimes mind reader. We are a service industry. Our clients, by definition, do not speak our language or know how to interpret what they want into a precise request. In my (probably not so humble) opinion - that's a huge part of our job. That's why we meet with our clients and get to know them and their style. "I want it to pop" just means they want that idea to be more of a focal point. "Can you change the font to comic sans" means, "I want to try and speak your language and that font is too plain/conservative". @Vannon - "black, bold, underlined....etc." is just your clients way of saying that this word or phrase is really important and they don't think the context is communicating that. I don't know about the others on this list, but the fact that after 25 years i can listen to all that non-designer language and translate it in my head and then deliver a product that looks good AND makes the client feel like they had input and got what they wanted, is THE reason i continue to enjoy my work and earn a decent living.

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VannonStop Following Follow Vannon

Vannon Chiang • So true Cindy, that makes a lot of sense. It takes some work to interpret what the clients like and want to see.

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • Cindy : Absolutely. That was the point I was trying to convey in earlier posts.

It is an important part of our job to help our clients gain better understanding of what we do. And often times we do have to do some "translations" for them, because we are visual people and they (most likely) are not. We need to bridge that gap.

My experience with my clients have been all fantastic. They are smart professionals and I enjoy working with them. In fact I have found that the higher rank my clients are in their companies, the even more appreciative they are of what we do.

May be I have been lucky.

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Traci Stoddard • Deal w/it on a daily basis, as do we all. Still there are just really graphically-challenged-don't-understand-the-deal people out there. :)

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CindyStop Following Follow Cindy

Cindy Weinstein • @William - Well, I can't say it's been all sweetness and light for all these years. I "paid my dues" in some pretty ugly environments and learned what one learns during those times. For the most part I've had very good experiences with clients that are, themselves, decent people. I guess my point is that a huge part of our job is to take what our clients say to us and translate it. I am imagining a mechanic complaining because the best i can do is imitate the noise my car makes when something is wrong. This whole track circles back to another conversation regarding the phenomenon of crowd sourcing and what makes our services superior to what someone gets from a crowd sourced experience.

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WilliamStop Following Follow William

William Lam • Cindy : I am not immune, I too had been through "some pretty ugly environments". Where those in whatever position that "did the wrong things" were supposed to be in the same "team" working for the same company, I do not consider them my (direct) clients.

These two types of relationship are actually very different, contrary to what some management “gurus” suggest.

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • How about having one boss, but then again 200 of them? Mind overload!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • I have an AWESOME boss now, but I don't work in an Ad Agency, I work in manufacturing. One-woman dept...everyone has input, but my say is pretty much final.

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "but my say is pretty much final."

Oh like whoever heard of a woman in THAT position?!?!?!?!

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • :P Jeff Ma.... :P

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • (Jeff acts al innocent)

"Me?

Were you looking at me?

You didn't mean ME, did you?"

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • hmmmm...now I am...feeling guilty? oh guys don't feel that do they?

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • (Jeff whistles nonchalantly as he looks at a corner of the ceiling)

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JoannaStop Following Follow Joanna

Joanna Orton • We've written a detailed brief for you to follow, picked out all the images and put together a list of the Pantone colours we like - but you have complete creative freedom on this one, so show us what you can do - wow us!

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Thomas T. • It is nice...but not convincing

5 months ago

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HopeStop Following Follow Hope

Hope Reagan • make it bigger!

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ShawnStop Following Follow Shawn

Shawn Jones • Exactly, Hope. "make it bigger!"I always then ask, "but how MUCH bigger?" Percentages and typeface point sizes, please.

Traci Stoddard • or maybe..."Can you remove that leaf from that lizard's head and make him look like a zebra instead" (oh my...I believe I must be a rap artist now...lol!)

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ShannonStop Following Follow Shannon

Shannon Haynes • "Please resend the proof in WORD."

5 months ago

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CarolineStop Following Follow Caroline

Caroline Fish • "I just don't like it."

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LeanneStop Following Follow Leanne

Leanne Siegenthaler (Geese) • "Let's add about 2 pages of text in a 5 inch x 5 inch area and don't change font size or leading"

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KevinStop Following Follow Kevin

Kevin Mau • I'm hesitant to say that I've heard and felt most of these "words" in my career. Would it mean I'm dating myself, or confiming that we hear this shit a lot (I'll never tell).

My skin has grown pretty thick over time, but the one thing I've heard that still always seems to make the hair curl of the back of my neck — maybe this is just a personal issue — when you deliver creative to a client and they happily, and in a giddy, very surprised tone say "this

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looks so professional!" I know they mean well, but were they expecting something less than professional?

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KimStop Following Follow Kim

Kim Arden • I "just" want... AND I hate being called a Graphics the (s) Graphics Designer. Last time I looked I was not plural.

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Lisa SueStop Following Follow Lisa Sue

Lisa Sue Smedberg • "I'm looking for that WOW factor." You will find that in the Galleria dell'Accademia, Florence. Ask for David...

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CindyStop Following Follow Cindy

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Cindy Weinstein • @Lisa - i LOVE that come back! Makes me want to send emails to craigslist want ads that are all looking for the WOW factor for $15/hour

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WarrenStop Following Follow Warren

Warren Davis III • "I'll pay you once it gains speed and turns a profit"

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NettieStop Following Follow Nettie

Nettie Lynch • "We've decided to go with that very first one..." (after 36 revisions)

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NancyStop Following Follow Nancy

Nancy Krause • Could you do something like this? (while handing me a lame, thoughtless, slapped together piece) - Really? NO, NO a thousand times NO! -

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JaneenStop Following Follow Janeen

Janeen Vitalie-Shember • i love the client who was looking for the "white space" on a red and black brochure"

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AnthonyStop Following Follow Anthony

Anthony DeCrescenzo • "I don't have much to spend on it now, but it could really turn into something if it works out, so could you do it for…" (insert mind-numbingly low price here). (No, lower.)

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ClaireStop Following Follow Claire

Claire Kaler • Yes, Anthony and how about doing a job for a portfolio piece! Would someone put a roof on my house for a portfolio piece?

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • We would like to do something different this year, real classy and gorgeous, maybe gold stamping, unusual paper, spot and dull varnishing, multi-level embossing. BUT we have a very tight budget this year and we need to spend less than we did last year.

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AnthonyStop Following Follow Anthony

Anthony DeCrescenzo • @claire Right. I promise I will let EVERYBODY drive by to see your fine roof work. It'll be great for your roofing portfolio. OK?

5 months ago

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RussStop Following Follow Russ

Russ Gazzara • "I like the color you used on that one and the way the R is bigger. But the swooshy thing on the other one is better than that star-shaped thing. Could you use the

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green you used in the first one and the swooshy thing from the second one? Oh, and I really like the lettering on the third one best. Remember, it has to fit in a square AND a circle, okay?"

5 months ago

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • "And put some penguins behind the Barca-Lounger®!"

5 months ago

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Catherine AlvinoStop Following Follow Catherine Alvino

Catherine Alvino Manzione • one word -- "tweak" it never is just a tweak.

5 months ago

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RussStop Following Follow Russ

Page 113: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Russ Gazzara • "Which on do you like?"

Russ Gazzara • "It doesn't look like the printout."

5 months ago

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SallieStop Following Follow Sallie

Sallie Mills • "Use your creative juices..." Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!! Where did this one come from?!

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Russ...it never does. ugh!

5 months ago

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SusanStop Following Follow Susan

Page 114: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Susan Katherine Rits • "If we have to make that title bold it will set the dev department back 2 weeks." Oh really? "<em>" two weeks of work?

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Here's a good one...get a translation from a trusted source, have 25,000 boxes printed and find out that that particular person at that trusted source misinterpreted....current situation...

5 months ago

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JustinStop Following Follow Justin

Justin Gotthardt • " I need a poster done, i can't find the logo/picture can you use the one on the internet"

5 months ago

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ShelleyStop Following Follow Shelley

Page 115: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Shelley Nelson • symmetrical...as in, "I want an edgy, contemporary look, but please keep it symmetrical." ack!

5 months ago

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Barclay • "Sexy"... hate it when someone tells me to make the website "sexy".... what, do you really want my definition of sexy on your website?...don't think so.

5 months ago

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JaykumarStop Following Follow Jaykumar

Jaykumar Suresh • 1. Something better

2. Something better

3. little bit better

4. Out of deadline

5 months ago

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Page 116: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Mark SpencerStop Following Follow Mark Spencer

Mark Spencer Reynolds • client: [wanting me to work for free] "I'll take care of you!" me: [having been burnt before] "Then take care of me now."

5 months ago

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YvonneStop Following Follow Yvonne

Yvonne Sletten • client: "...can you make this [100px by 100px, 72ppi] image bigger??" me: "I can, but don't recommend it."...

5 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Ugh...so many of these posts hit home!!!

5 months ago

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PatriciaStop Following Follow Patricia

Patricia Lavoie • Can you "TWEEK" that. Which means can you take my crappy logo and fix it, without me having to pay you for your extra work.

5 months ago

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LorettaStop Following Follow Loretta

Loretta Uriarte • This should only take you about an hour!

4 months ago

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Barclay • In regards to logos for print, "just grab it off their website."

4 months ago

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CaseyStop Following Follow Casey

Casey Gibbons • I can't stand it when the AE is standing over your shoulder and saying how much they LOVE the ad you just created, but they feel compelled to ask you to change the typeface, make the logo bigger, and move the text, and can you find a different image.

Exactly, what was it that you LOVE about this ad!

Boy everybody wants to be an art director.

4 months ago

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Marinelli • My sister teaches art and she said you could do it.

4 months ago

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TonyStop Following Follow Tony

Tony Davis • Too many to list here...but here is the most popular (for websites), profit sharing, Client says..."I can't afford to pay a deposit right now, but since you came highly recommended, I would be willing to share my profits with you for a few months"!

4 months ago

Page 119: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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JasonStop Following Follow Jason

Jason Witenstein-Weaver • "heighth" - it's not a word!

4 months ago

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RussStop Following Follow Russ

Russ Gazzara • Not a graphic design term, but I had a client once suggest to me that we "run it up the flagpole and see it it floats." Truth.

4 months ago

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ElleStop Following Follow Elle

Elle Cardenas • When I started out, I got this a lot: "We LOVE your designs; we would love to have you work with us— but we want to see a sample of how you would design OUR posters. ::hands over a complete spec sheet before ANY contracts are signed/payment

true 380 1872 groupItem?seeMo

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negotiated:: if you could just come up with a design based on that writeup, we could decide if you'd be a good fit."

4 months ago

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JohannStop Following Follow Johann

Johann Rosario • "...if you could just come up with a design based on that writeup, we could decide if you'd be a good fit."

"...and in doing so you would perfectly demonstrate to us how hopelessly desperate you are, and how unbelievably lucky we are going to be. You may now assume the B.O.H.I.C.A. position, thank you"

http://www.no-spec.com/faq/

4 months ago

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Barclay • Elle... you win... that one is the WORST, it drives me out of my tree!

I've toyed with the idea of retorting with, "no problem, and I'd like to test drive your health insurance, payroll and corporate discounts for the next week...to see if it's a good fit for me."

4 months ago

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ElleStop Following Follow Elle

Elle Cardenas • HAHA Brian— I love it. It's just so messed up and I really hope there is less of that bs going on these days. If that ever comes up again, I'm totally going to use your reply. Brilliant~!

4 months ago

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JeannineStop Following Follow Jeannine

Jeannine Owens • takes all my restraining abilities to stare at the client all doe-y-eyed and say "Gee, thanks" when they say this to me: "Wow, it looks so... professional!"

4 months ago

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JayStop Following Follow Jay

Jay Leslie • Definitely hear that too much. Followed by "jazz it up".I'm sorry, I don't know what that means.

4 months ago

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RachelStop Following Follow Rachel

Rachel Rowan • "That's not what I had in mind." Ok well, then could you please share what's in your mind in greater detail?!

4 months ago

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KimberlyStop Following Follow Kimberly

Kimberly Hawkins • woah --how funny, that clients say the same sh*t to all of us. The classic, must be: "think outside the box." --seriously? Wait, you know that I'm an artist right? That all my life, I've had this 'gift' --right? and most of us are also A.D.D (I'll speak for myself on that one) --for one day, even for one minute, I'd CRAVE to know how it feels .... just for a second of time... how my brain and how it would calm the blood charging through my veins and how to look at an ordinary object and see simply that and not think of what else it could be and how it could be used for various purposes and then another voice simultaneously stating the industrial designer who originally designed that object --and the color pallet should be altered.... to quiet all of that noise... for one second to think INSIDE that damn box.... now THAT would be something! Tell me to do that, for I struggle with that,...

4 months ago

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LorettaStop Following Follow Loretta

Page 123: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Loretta Uriarte • Remember "push the envelope"? That was pre-"outside the box" and still as meaningless!

4 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • @Elle, Johann & Brian - yes, "spec" is hands down the the word that we hate most.

A guy in Australia by the name of David Thorne posted an email exchange with a client requesting spec work that had me in tears.... http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

4 months ago

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Barclay • Wayne... I'm dying over here... this is perfect!

4 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • Ya - David's my hero.

4 months ago

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DanielStop Following Follow Daniel

Daniel Couper • Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one. Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them). As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.) Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make. Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue. Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours. While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will

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have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost. Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes. You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans. PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect. PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case..

4 months ago

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StefanieStop Following Follow Stefanie

Stefanie Kenyon • I love this. I've used the house analogy to clients myself. Would you ask an architect to design a building without giving them the dimensions, style, inclusions? Hey get me Frank Gehry on the phone. I want a traditional California bungalow, Frank, not one of your arty creations. The block of land may be 2 hectares or 20 metres square, we won't know until you start building but please get started on the plans. No, I don't think Frank would still be listening.

4 months ago

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Page 126: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

JohannStop Following Follow Johann

Johann Rosario • "Thinking outside the box" should mean, "to employ nonlinear thinking by exploring unconventional possibilities that are beyond the problem area, and are often overlooked by self imposed restrictions. Great ideas are nebulous by nature and subtle to the regular crowd, so exploring in other areas of disciplines can produce great discoveries."

"Go to a place in your imagination where such-and-such is not a problem. What would you do different?"

All this sound good until you start saying what is actually on your mind, and people start rolling their eyes looking at each other thinking "Is this guy crazy, doesn't he know that "thinking outside the box" is just a figure of speech, to see who's the idiot that fall for that? Doesn't he know that these meeting are all about C.Y.A. (cover your ass) where you say as little as possible and agree as much as possible, so as to not say a single word that might make you look "uncool?"

4 months ago

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KimberlyStop Following Follow Kimberly

Kimberly Hawkins • Well it must be said, if it wasn't for my clients, I would be living in a box, a cardboard one...

4 months ago

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StefanieStop Following Follow Stefanie

Stefanie Kenyon • No. Kimberley. You'd find other clients or you should/will. Let's face it, half (at least) of the people you meet in this life are oxygen thieves and you'd cross the street to avoid them as people. Same with clients. Would I spend a second of my free/social time with them? Noooooooooo. I 'm lucky, mine are fantastic now and some in the past were great too, but some were madder than a cut snake. Ah, memories.

Seriously, I feel like there should be a complimentary psych degree with this job.

The people I'm with now are great. Opinionated but know how to articulate their ideas and listen to me, too. And I'd be happy to hang out with them.

4 months ago

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JamesStop Following Follow James

James Wardell • They all ring true. 'think outside the box' ' where's the wow' 'value added' That last one realllllly makes my skin crawl. It's come to mean 'work for free'. But I think the one term that has always driven me crazy, and we've all seen it.....FREE GIFT What other kinds of gifts are there?

Jeff Marinelli • You didn't get pizza?!?!?!?!?!

4 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • Or beer?!

4 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • and Friday's has the best baked brie....you missed that too?

4 months ago

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JohannStop Following Follow Johann

Johann Rosario • Hey you're right! I should probably come up with a list of the things I would do for pizza and beer, now that I think of it...

4 months ago

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MitchStop Following Follow Mitch

Mitch Smith • From this week:

"You did a great job. Perfect. Now make the letters in the logo run vertical."

"You'll hate me for this, but..." (I almost always end up cursing their name sometime after they say this. They must all be prophets or something.)

"Go crazy with it." [a week later] "That's a little too 'creative' for us. We're just a small company."

"I want what you did for that cookie company [an avalanche of sugar and chocolate chips with two 'miners' enjoyably trapped in the mixture] for my business [a business suit tailor]."

edit - an avalanche of pinstripes and plaid engulfing two guys in their undies?

4 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Mitch...HURL!!

4 months ago

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ElleStop Following Follow Elle

Elle Cardenas • http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_changes

4 months ago

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StanleyStop Following Follow Stanley

Stanley Roberts • I hear; Why does it cost so much? I'm thinking; Do you ask the plumber, electrician or other service based profession why? Short answer; I'm doing something you can't

4 months ago

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KimStop Following Follow Kim

Kim Arden • OK this one... Looking for a "talented" freelance designer. OMG, like we're all NOT talented ;)

4 months ago

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Page 131: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

KimStop Following Follow Kim

Kim Arden • Wait... looking for the NOT talented freelance designer. Help!

4 months ago

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KimberlyStop Following Follow Kimberly

Kimberly Hawkins • freakin' funny Stanley --I called + shared this with my friend because we've both worked for a penny-pinch client and laughed and laughed! and ya, I do ask my plumber why he's so expensive --I think I'll stop doing that now ;-D

4 months ago

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BrandonStop Following Follow Brandon

Brandon Youngblood • "Make it look like this." -- design work from someone else, sigh...

4 months ago

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Page 132: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Bob Hoot • "Make it look like this." (Design work from someone else.) Reply,"Why not hire that designer?" "Wouldn't copying the design be cheaper?" "Not if we're sued." "Well, it would be different." "How?" "I want more copy, can't afford new photography and need to do it in a different format. I'm not sure I can afford color." "You're right, they'll never recognize it. But why not start fresh?" "I really like this piece and wouldn't it be cheaper if you don't have to do any design work?" "No."

4 months ago

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GregStop Following Follow Greg

Greg Gancas • "Make it pop." "Do you have to follow brand guidelines on EVERYTHING?" "My wife says to use Helvetica."

4 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "Make this a priority." Over all the other priorities you've already given me that are due in a week...hmmmm.

4 months ago

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JefStop Following Follow Jef

Jef Maddock • "Could you add this? I just grabbed it from someones website." Excuse me. Then explaining everything that is wrong with this.

4 months ago

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JamesStop Following Follow James

James Howard • "Here is the picture of my logo."

-Logo sent from Camera Phone-

4 months ago

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NinaStop Following Follow Nina

Nina Peci • I hate it when they say "I'm not convinced" or "I don't like it". Please expand on that!! What is it that you"don't like"!? And then of course there are the ones who say "Can't you just use Comic Sans?!" That's usually when I get up and leave.

Page 134: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Maynard • Send it with a 'bleed'. When I think bleed, I think blood...like blood red. :)

Steve Koshlap • Art Director: "Don't spend a lot of time with this. It's just a comp. Really quick, down and dirty!"Me an hour later: "OK, here you go!"Art Director: "What is this crap?"

4 months ago

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Barclay • Steve, the comment "Don't spend a lot of time on this, it's just a comp," was a daily fixture in my last job. I would have a perplexed look on my face and ask, "Well, don't you think if we spent a little time on it and made it look professional and original the client would be more apt to buy it?" Response: "Don't worry about it."

4 months ago

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Davis • After spending hours looking for just the right font to be used for "graphic treatment" in a corporate brochure, the client says, "That font is too hard to read."

4 months ago

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JanetteStop Following Follow Janette

Janette Wright • scary that we all get the same freaky comments in different parts of the world. why pay a designer if you want to do it yourself....badly

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Altan • I'm an art director in fashion. The new term is perceived value. " This t-shirt graphic needs more perceived value"- What the hell does that mean? " It needs some rhinestones, flocking, gold foil"- Isn't that real value? You do need to pay money for these things you're adding and raising the price on the garment. "Whatever just add it" - Ok. Sample comes in over budget- production team comes to me " Remove all stones, flocking and gold foil"- After revising it 6 times- the t-shirt is dropped. FUN!!!!

4 months ago

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JessieStop Following Follow Jessie

Jessie Nunez • "I need a clean, 100-page site full of pictures, Flash, music and bells and whistles. My budget is $250"

4 months ago

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KarenStop Following Follow Karen

Karen Myers • I always cringed when, after being presented with 5 or 6 logo designs the client said, "I'm not sure what I want, but I'll know it when I see it."

4 months ago

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SeanStop Following Follow Sean

Sean van der Sluis • They send you the logo from their website, (72 DPI, 50 x 80 pixels) to make a gatefold brochure, you request high resolution logo....

"huh?"

Ok, i need a bigger logo, the one in the email is not big enough for printing....

"uh, ok, Il send you what we did about 2 years ago....

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You get a PDF scan (96 DPI, black and white)... "its bigger, isn't it"

/me gnashes teeth......

4 months ago

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SamuelStop Following Follow Samuel

Samuel Ballard Jr. • "Don't worry, this will only take a minute."

4 months ago

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FergusStop Following Follow Fergus

Fergus O'Donoghue • " I love the website...it's modern, which is what we need...the only thing missing is an animated spinning chrome email icon on the contact page"

4 months ago

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LudoStop Following Follow Ludo

Page 138: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Ludo Roessen • We're almost there, just needs to be freshen up a bit....

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Pinkston • Make it "edgy". What's "edgy"?

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Pinkston • Make it "edgy". What's "edgy"?

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Pinkston • Make it "edgy". What's "edgy"?

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Pinkston • Make it "edgy". What's "edgy"?

4 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Pinkston • Sorry 'bout all those postings. I'm on my iPhone and have a severe case of fumble fingers.

4 months ago

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StefanieStop Following Follow Stefanie

Stefanie Kenyon • It's okay Steve. We understand. It's like designer Tourrette's syndrome.

I can tell you what edgy is. Edgy is the great design you do that's too "edgy" for them and they ask you to make it more conservative. They don't want edgy, they just think that they should ask for it to show how hip and down with design they are.

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I keep getting the "it looks too expensive" and when I explain that I'm an in-house designer so there's no extra cost and the printing is standard offset 4 colour, they still ask me to make it look less expensive. Excuse me, but I don't do crap and what's wrong with looking expensive, especially when it's not. I dream of die cuts and foils but that's never going to happen.

Someone needs to make a booklet. Partly funny, mostly informative called " How to brief a designer on what you really, really want". I'd buy 20 copies and hand them out to my clients just to save my voice and that slightly shrill inflection I get when they say "it's easy" and I explain that "no, it's not, it's possible, but not easy" (and you can't do it anyway, so how would you know). I feel like such a nag and my clients are really quite lovely. I'm a horrible person.

4 months ago

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JanetteStop Following Follow Janette

Janette Wright • do the booklet girl! and i am sure you are (not) horrible!

4 months ago

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Rob HelleshøjStop Following Follow Rob Helleshøj

Rob Helleshøj Christensen • "Do you really believe yourself, that that is a good design?" "You're the creative one! (but I did not tell you what to do more that 'make a cover for this')"

4 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • "I'll pay you quickly"... ... 90 days later "the cheques in the mail"

4 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • when discussing a USP and I ask "what do you want to be known for that sets you apart from your competition?" They answer "quality". How unique - now there's a concept they can really take ownership of.

4 months ago

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FergusStop Following Follow Fergus

Fergus O'Donoghue • The design needs to be slick and professional. See attached link. (the link is to an ancient DIY amateur site with badly cropped images and spelling errors)

4 months ago

true 440 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 142: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Emmanuel Turner • Not exactly design related but I once had a family friend offer me $300 to build a programme that was a pixel-for-pixel copy of an older version of MS-Publisher. He had brought in bulk some cheap training materials for MS-Publisher, not thinking that it mattered it was an older version. He was trying to resell the materials and was getting a lot of returns. Lol.

4 months ago

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Emmanuel Turner • Client: My budget is $X. Me: Okay, I can work with that, but there will be only time for one round of revisions Client: Fine because I'm not going to pay for work that isn't what I want so we only need one round of revisions.

4 months ago

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Page 143: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Emmanuel Turner • Client: What do you mean I pay $X per hour for meetings. It's just talking, not working!

4 months ago

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ClaireStop Following Follow Claire

Claire Kaler • Just got this one the other day... "The headline has to run at the top of the page (almost touching the top) and keep all the white space below it." No fooling, empty page!

4 months ago

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AnthonyStop Following Follow Anthony

Anthony DeCrescenzo • @claire - does that client pay? want to pass them off?

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MauroStop Following Follow Mauro

Page 144: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Mauro Toledo • "I'm a visionary. You need to follow my lead."

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LoriStop Following Follow Lori

Lori Ravnsbeck • make it pop

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Koger • The one I get the most is "Can't you just.... Blah, Blah, it will only take you a minute. We are out of money."

4 months ago

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GinaStop Following Follow Gina

Gina PRESTON • Day one: "do it this way" Day two: "no do it another way"

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Day three: no, go back to the way you did it the first time" Etc.

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JackStop Following Follow Jack

Jack Rotoli • not a term, but a sentence that has become dear to my heart:

"I can't afford to pay you, but you'll get plenty of more work from this."

4 months ago

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Davis • "You see, an advertisement is like real estate except that instead of square footage, you have column inches. The more stuff you can get into an ad, the better the return on your investment." (insert condescending tone)

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Lepp • Can you "sexify" this? Uuuhhhhhh....

4 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Hey, you can design right? I want you to do this video footage and edit it now...

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CeciliaStop Following Follow Cecilia

Cecilia Humphrey • Laughs! I love some of these. Have to admit I was writing a description for a case study and wrote ' the clean design' then deleted it thinking, 'I'm so sick of that word.' One that I am tired of hearing and is so over-used is branding. Branding this, branding that, develop the brand. Does everything have to be branded?!!

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CeciliaStop Following Follow Cecilia

Cecilia Humphrey • Another pet peeve of mine, and I know this is sort of off the subject here, is when clients send you copy With Every Word In The Sentence Capitalized Because Every Word Is So Important. You then have to show them that emphasizing every word, diminishes the emphasis on words that truly should be capitalized.

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • I had a client who asked for a line of type to be double bolded (what ever that is), italicized, underlined and while your at it make it red.

4 months ago

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GinaStop Following Follow Gina

Gina PRESTON • @ Cecilia Humphrey -I was thinking the same thing this morning about "branding" - enough already! LOL. I often wonder if those who throw the word around know what it really means.

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • "branding" is a hard word to replace and integral part of what we do. But it does get misused and many who throw the word around loosely only have a vague idea of its full meaning. But to answer Cecilia's rhetorical question, yes, everything does need to be branded. Selling the product and not the brand promotes the competition as well as our client.

Christopher Stets MA., BA., Cr. Photog., CPP. • Not a term, but the one that makes me nut's "We don't have it in the budget to pay you at this time, but nice job"

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ScottStop Following Follow Scott

Scott Adcock • This post is awesome and just made my day - really needed some camaraderie in this today. laughed all the way through.

Thanks :)

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Gonzalez Perez • It will only take you a couple of minutes, won't it?....

Page 149: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Gonzalez Perez • It is an easy assignment...I want this text here, that there...and this in the other side but it has to be...and...and...but...but...but...you know what I mean, don't you?

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ThomasStop Following Follow Thomas

Thomas Snoreck • "Can you fix this?"

When you have a failing foundation, you don't remodel.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "But...I really like Comic Sans!!!" (choke, barf!!!)

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CharlesStop Following Follow Charles

Charles Nelson • Papyrus nuf said!

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Aubrie AnnStop Following Follow Aubrie Ann

Aubrie Ann Glennon • It's a quick resize

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SeanStop Following Follow Sean

Sean van der Sluis • "I want it so that when someone opens their mail, the Jpeg should immediately open up full-screen, with crisp sharp text an lots of images in a high resolution, but it must be less than 200Kb, because I don't want to have the recipient wait... oh and by the way, it must not show as an attachment......"

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Atiya.Stop Following Follow Atiya.

Atiya. Zaidi • wow, seriously there should be a like or love button here :) the gospel truth on clients being creative.

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BrindaStop Following Follow Brinda

Brinda Gita • "Think out of box", clients dont realise what they are asking "Think little creative guyz" Ï can only send a jpeg image of my logo to add on to the hoarding"and when the logo is pixelating they tell i dint expect this from you "Hire a copy writer"

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Page 152: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Brian Yeats • Wayne is right, branding is not problem it is just part of the process, Micro-Managing the creative process is the bigger issue.

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • "I took these photos with the camera on my photo. I think they're pretty good. Let's use them in your design."

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • Genrally speaking, the bigger the company and the more experienced the client contact is, the more they ask me what to do. The smaller and less experienced the client is, the more likely they are to tell me what to do and the less satisfied they are with the results. Why can't they see that?

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Davis • @Wayne Ditto. The Fortune 500 co's with their highly experienced Product Managers and Marketing Directors are far, far better and easier to work with than some "mom and pop" retail chain...which can be a major pain in the rear. They want to play artist with the designs and they nickel and dime the charges as if it is coming out of their own wallet instead of a well conceived marketing budget. They tend to want author's alterations after the work has been approved in stages. Then the son or cousin chimes in. lol.

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VictoriaStop Following Follow Victoria

Victoria Adams • Can you back-save the files to an older version, provide .jpgs, EPS and tiffs in low res and high res, in colour, black and white, and grayscale, with tagline and without, transparent gifs, and size as an outlook signature. . .

4 months ago

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KimberlyStop Following Follow Kimberly

Kimberly Hawkins • Victoria, you forgot to add: "and can you place in a WORD file"

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • No Kimberly..,,Publisher! lol :)

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QuinnStop Following Follow Quinn

Quinn Ianniciello • "I trust you to make it SHARP"... (In all caps, every time)

Inigo Laugermann • "Make sh*t shine!" and "It's amazing what these computers can do these days" as if some button was pressed and *POOF*, out came the requested work.

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LeonorStop Following Follow Leonor

Leonor Graça Moura • "These fonts are too expensive. Can´t you just draw some letters yourself? It should take you an hour or so..."

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TomStop Following Follow Tom

Tom McCartin • There's nothing I hate more than "Maybe you could play with it a little and show me what you come up with".

We don't "play" with the client's work. It's a serious business.

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TrevorStop Following Follow Trevor

Trevor Swart • "You know, add some sizzle"

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JamesStop Following Follow James

James Skidmore • • "There's too much white space", no... there's never enough. • "Make that smidge larger", sure let me get out my smidge ruler.

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ZakStop Following Follow Zak

Zak Krispis • We don't have copy yet, no title, just design the ad and we will give you the copy next week!

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Emmanuel Turner • You'll get the content later = you get it the day before the deadline

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Pascale • "It looks busy." The term is supposed to be "cluttered". "Busy" is an active verb. PEOPLE are busy--not layouts! :-)

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DiahannStop Following Follow Diahann

Diahann Lohr • "No one really cares about design. Just lay it out and send it to print."

"And charge me less."

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GinaStop Following Follow Gina

Gina PRESTON • Thought you all might appreciate this little video

http://ginapreston.wordpress.com/2010/10/02/we-write-ads-or-people%EF%BB%BF-die-its-that-simple/

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Maddox • "Oh and we need social media, where can we put that?"

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • Don't you have lots of CD's with stock images that I can use, of cource it's free right. I always tell them that I didn't see any in my breakfast cerial as the prize this morning

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ChelseaStop Following Follow Chelsea

Chelsea Windlinger • "Make it look more designey" What's designey?

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PerryStop Following Follow Perry

Perry Diavatopoulos • "There's a blank space over here on the layout, can you put something there, it looks empty... I don't know you're the expert?!"

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CorinneStop Following Follow Corinne

Corinne Barnes Delargy • As said to me yesterday 'Yes I like it, but can you just try it with a great big triangle behind - just to give it a little lift' (VOMIT!!!!)

There's too many 'marketing chickens' walking around with bad taste and this has a detrimental effect on our fabulous designs!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!

I see crappy graphics everywhere - on vans - in magazines etc. People with bad taste should be shot. SHOT I SAY!!!!!

OK I'm done now....

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SampathStop Following Follow Sampath

Sampath Sri Warnakula • "We will bring BIG works for you in future, so we need the best price"

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MelissaStop Following Follow Melissa

Page 160: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Melissa Benoit • Can you put me a "Dynamic" or "Modern" font in there? Usually they mean "Italic"....

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Emmanuel Turner • @sampath - I hate that. If you ever do get the big work they'll want to lowball you even further.

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NilsStop Following Follow Nils

Nils Eikelenboom 林 胜利 • I always use COMIC SANS in Word™, so what's the problem using it?

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true 500 1872 groupItem?seeMo

Page 161: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

MarcusStop Following Follow Marcus

Marcus Romero • "The Clients are visual people." which in fact means they lack the ability to visualize anything, unimaginative and visionless.

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TonyStop Following Follow Tony

Tony Davis • Pantone Matching System...Clients say..."must match our PMS Colors".

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TonyStop Following Follow Tony

Tony Davis • I can get the PMS colors really close but there are so many variables to printed colors especially on different colored backgrounds. So to explain to the client, I end up printed their PMS colors on white, black and then embedded on the design piece and it just take so much more time.

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luiz henriqueStop Following Follow luiz henrique

luiz henrique padovan de moraes • Nils, your answer "Nils Eikelenboom 林胜利 • I always use COMIC SANS in Word™, so what's the problem using it?", is a worldwide issue!hehehe

I am an art director in Brazil and at once a week I heard this kind of bullshit.

or, could you make my Logo bigger!

the newest was a client asking for "Petroleum Blue Marine" to the color of the title. and what fuck is "petroleum Blue marine", could you at lest e-mail me a sample, a reference!

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Emmanuel Turner • @Marcus: "The Clients are visual people." means they have their own ideas so you get to be a Mac Operator while they art direct you. Normally their ideas are multi-coloured vomit pastiched onto paper. Oh, and comic sans.

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PriyaStop Following Follow Priya

Priya Kapoor • How about 'wow' and 'jazzy' as design briefs!

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NilsStop Following Follow Nils

Nils Eikelenboom 林 胜利 • "I already made >everything in Word™< for you, so you're almost done, right?"

@luiz henrique ,it's not entirely a global thing; lucky enough no comic sans for Chinese ;-)

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JeffStop Following Follow Jeff

Jeff Nissen • Client: "Change this, this, this and this. Move that. Take that out and make that bigger, add this, put that over there and this here, move that down and let's see what that looks like." Changes made, presented to client again and client says "What do you think?" What do I think?! I think you just "art directed" the ad into the sh!tter! That's what I think.

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MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Burke • "I need you to pretty this up for me." It especially irritates me when a CSR who thinks they know everything about being a Graphic Design tells me this, because they

Page 164: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

designed a logo once for their cousin. Everybody is a Graphic Designer these days. The VP of the company I work for has Photoshop on his Macbook, so he is also an expert.

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NilsStop Following Follow Nils

Nils Eikelenboom 林 胜利 • "Can you send me the original files so I can change them my self?" "You sent me Illustrator files but Word™ says it can't open them"

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JoanneStop Following Follow Joanne

Joanne Lille • How about..."I knew you guys didn't have the time to do this brochure in-house, so we went outside and had it done by a friend of mine's buddy"... and when we received the files for print, they were all low res done in Illustrator - that when recreated for print would cost over $4,000 in Getty images. The comment back to us was "oh, he's a "Concept Designer"..... a what??? How do we get that gig?

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TimothyStop Following Follow Timothy

Timothy O'Keeffe • "Fonts... What Fonts are you using ...." I design with TYPE not Fonts....

#2 are you the "Graphix Designers" guy

#3 SO you do the "desktop publish" stiff

grrrrrr

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Altan • Here's a bit of insanity that actually worked out in my favor at the end. Client: "We need to design 5 images for a trade show booth 3 feet wide by 6 feet high @ 300dpi and we have to send it to the printer at actual size". Me: "That makes the file size of each about 2-3gigs. I don't have enough RAM to do it". Client: "We'll get you more RAM". My MAC now has 14 gigs of RAM and a Solid State hard drive. SCORE!!! Still took a while to finish.

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RussStop Following Follow Russ

Russ Gazzara • Try real hard to hang on to that client, Steve.

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AdrienneStop Following Follow Adrienne

Adrienne Wilkerson • Client: "I just have a few minor changes."

Translation: The 'minor' changes effect core design elements and I might as well start over.

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CorinneStop Following Follow Corinne

Corinne Barnes Delargy • Adrienne - that is a CLASSIC!!!!!!

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Page 167: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Jill LeVan • And, of course, those changes are "easy, easy" and will "only take you a few minutes."

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JackStop Following Follow Jack

Jack Rotoli • I was commissioned to do a t-shirt for a day camp. They wanted white water rafters, mountain climbers and mountain bikers, which I did. I submitted my rough, it was approved, I did the finish, except for some 'minor' edits it was ready to be printed. "The six helmeted and life jacketed people in the raft... take three out, make them kids, ethnically diverse and make the raft a canoe. make the guy n the bike a girl and take out the mountain climber all together, we don't do this at the day camp."I should also put out there that this was LOOOONG before the days of computers. The illustration was done manually in pen and ink and the colors were film cut in amberlith. Does anybody even use that stuff anymore?Needless to say, I had to start over...

Russ Gazzara • When did AA come to mean "Always Arguable?"

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TimothyStop Following Follow Timothy

Timothy O'Keeffe • IN Publishing AA = Authors Alteration ....billable EA = Editors Alteration.... could be billable,

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Koshlap • ...and in my past, PE- Printer's Error. Not billable, and one too many of those will get you OTD- Out The Door!

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EmmanuelStop Following Follow Emmanuel

Emmanuel Turner • PE reminds me of my favourite industry insider acronym from my days in IT. PEBKAC - Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.

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RobinStop Following Follow Robin

Robin Sheehan • "Um, no, that's not what I really wanted. It's too... too... You know? it is. What do YOU think?"

Sir, I just showed you what I thought. (grits teeth, smiles)

3 months ago

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • "Where is the background?"

" I don't like the empty spaces"

"Can u make the type bigger to fill up the 0.5cm margins u left on each side?"

"If I knew how to work on photoshop I can finish your 6 hour work in 5 minutes"

"I do not know what I want, but I want something creative." after long hours of work and finally a client who appreciates our need to express our crazy ideas in design..."I said I wanted something creative. This is not the style that I am looking for. maybe you should try designing something like the logo I designed on paint. Lets paint the town red!" with a wink. Oh I will paint the town red alright....right after i slaughter u!

Ok I sounded crazy with that last comment...But hey...we r discussing terms that drive graphic designers crazy...aren't we? ;)

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCjcwBGQtiw

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2u_zvV0xW0

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyTpzgAW5NA

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AratiStop Following Follow Arati

Arati Devasher • "My daughter is very good at art, you know. This is what she thought would work. Can you make it look like you did it?" Actual client comment. Said daughter 9 years old.

Any ideas on what graphic design term we could use to define this situation?

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BetsyStop Following Follow Betsy

Betsy Pulick • I agree... I would like almost all of them. lol

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JamieStop Following Follow Jamie

Jamie Manship • I come up with the ideas and you (graphic designers) make it look pretty.

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nishStop Following Follow nish

nish wickramasinghe • The printer is sitting downstairs waiting for a disk.

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nishStop Following Follow nish

nish wickramasinghe • Can you make the font more readable, maybe Arial?

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SuzanneStop Following Follow Suzanne

Suzanne Millius • "We're almost there........."

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Kiesow • "Now make it pretty." That tops my list for most demeaning comment (although I realize it often stems from a lack in knowledge than a lack of respect).

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JeanStop Following Follow Jean

Jean T. • Anything with the words "Publisher file" included.

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JeanStop Following Follow Jean

Jean T. • I don't mind 'make it pretty' it's shorthand for 'work your magic' hehe.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Never thought by starting this thread I would have unleashed the pain and horror that has been shared. It's like I broke the seventh seal and the apocalypse is now upon us.

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RyanStop Following Follow Ryan

Ryan Gibboney • this time of the year I love: "Can you add a holly border and make it look festive... really make it pop for the holidays!"

Ryan Gibboney • I consider the people that we work with VIPS....Visually Illiterate People. You just have to remember that most of the time they don't know that they don't know!

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KeriStop Following Follow Keri

Keri Saunders • I think if I hear the term " at the end of the day" one more time, I am going to puke. Also, when the client's daughter designs the logo - oye.

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CherylStop Following Follow Cheryl

Cheryl Desjardin • "I like the way the colors look in the pdf on my monitor. Why can't the printed piece look exactly like that?"

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JenniferStop Following Follow Jennifer

Jennifer Hoffecker • Can you make it in Word

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BetsyStop Following Follow Betsy

Betsy Pulick • "in my minds eye" i was seeing...

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ArianaStop Following Follow Ariana

Ariana Toro • "Just make it 'look pretty'..."

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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KristinStop Following Follow Kristin

Kristin McCurry • "Jazz it up"

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RogerStop Following Follow Roger

Roger Lambert • I want it to look brilliant, like Randolph Scott on a Saturday afternoon.

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • Christopher, it is quite clear that graphic designers worldwide share the same horrors..I think it is about time we fix this..or at least try..our job is no different than that of a physician prescribing medicine to their patient..we prescribe designs to better communicate ideas..we r just not taken as seriously as a physician! The patient in our domain of work is not the client.. It is their business! They come 2 us 4 solutions to lead a healthier business..

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Farah...and they don't want to foot the bill, they just want to pay the price of a box of Band-aids.

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GaryStop Following Follow Gary

Gary Clarke • Make my logo BIGGER.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Do any of you ever rebuttal any of these asenine remarks and comments from the client? If so I'd love to hear the witty comebacks anyone has made.

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • Hahahaha well when they want to do so they can go the free health center..they will get the box of band aids there..for free.. But the box of band aids we provide is much more efficient.. They want the cheap stuff.. They can have it.. But it is their loss!

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • Yes chris.when a client told me he could do my 6 hrs work in 5 min I said: u know wut here u can take my seat. I'll take 5. And left the office. I came back after 5 min. And he was just standing there silent! He didn't say a word as I worked. When he finally talked I said: I can't hear u. He repeated what he said. I looked at him and said: I didn't say I didn't hear u! I said I can't hear u! I was so pissed that day. He is still my client. Except now he doesn't interfere in wut I know better :)

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Yes, as a matter of fact I did recently, Christopher. I was asked to do a project 'for a price we could both feel comfortable with' with the art due in a week. I found

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out his comfort zone was lower than mine. I wished him a Happy Holidays and good luck finding someone else, and when you want great work, don't forget to budget for it next year. :) It felt great!

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FarahStop Following Follow Farah

Farah K. • Traci I love ur last comment

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Farah...and so many times have I wanted to do what you did. Bravo!

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RussStop Following Follow Russ

Page 180: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Russ Gazzara • Although not particularly witty, this is one of my favorite comebacks:

• Good, fast, and cheap -- pick two.

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TamiStop Following Follow Tami

Tami Melamed • "I'm not a designer....but i made a sketch in powerpoint. Now all i need from you is to make it in your photoshop.... so....actually you don't charge me for more then 1 hour work...is it?

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JaredStop Following Follow Jared

Jared Lantzman • "This one is easy." While asking for your assistance on a particular project, the client seems to diminish what it is you do at the same time.

Jared Lantzman • I also like "add a starburst!" I mean they make tasty treats at least...

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CandiceStop Following Follow Candice

Candice Jacobus • Put it in BOLD

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ChristianStop Following Follow Christian

Christian Van Schepen • "Isn't this design nice? My daughter made it"

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JobStop Following Follow Job

Job de Graaf • Change the yellow to blue, or blue to yellow, etc. Maybe a good idea to start a thread how to say politely / find other phrases for P"""" O"F

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DeborahStop Following Follow Deborah

Deborah Mitchell • "Don't spend a lot of time of this."

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DavidStop Following Follow David

David Peters • make it pop! uggh

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ArthurStop Following Follow Arthur

Arthur Petrosian • please "reproduce, replicate, duplicate, cut & paste" this "template" all while you "think outside the box"

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Sarah E.Stop Following Follow Sarah E.

Sarah E. Jurecka • "Make it jazzy." And of course the ever-popular, "this is great, but just center and bold it".

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GarethStop Following Follow Gareth

Gareth Coxon • 'You know what to do' :)

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PeteStop Following Follow Pete

Pete Aguanno • "Make the logo bigger!"

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RoyStop Following Follow Roy

Roy Lindaas • Make it pop!...that my favorite

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maryStop Following Follow mary

mary arneson • "I need this color to match exactly...the color name is maroon"

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JanisStop Following Follow Janis

Janis Olson • I'm not a designer (writer here) but I have two pet peeves: the age-old request to "Make it pretty" and...people that think typography is a particular font.

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StaceyStop Following Follow Stacey

Stacey Yongue • Ad rep: "Thanks for getting this proof to me so quickly, but I don't think the client's going to like this."

Well, Einstein, let's see...First, I don't work quickly for you, I work quickly for the client. Second, why don't we let the CLIENT decide whether he/she likes the design? The speaking-for-the-client-before-the-client-sees-the-proof thing drives me to the bottle at 10am. Arrrrgh!

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StaceyStop Following Follow Stacey

Stacey Yongue • If I get "add a starburst" one more time...agree totally, Jared!!!!

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JanisStop Following Follow Janis

Janis Olson • "Make it bigger"

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StaceyStop Following Follow Stacey

Stacey Yongue • Sales rep who designed the ad in her copious spare time (thought you we're supposed to be s-e-l-l-i-n-g ads!): "Increase the font size from 8 to 9 points and send me another proof..."

Reset ad for 4c, leave font at 8 points, send proof.

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JamesStop Following Follow James

James Kempster • "I know I said the drop-dead Armageddon every-one-loses-their-jobs deadline was yesterday, and the printer has already sent us the final proofs, but we need to add this eulogy written by a trustee for a donor from the 1960s who died two years ago."

"A consultant told me white space is very important...and branding...so make sure there’s a lot of white space and branding."

"What do you think: should we twitter?"

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JolmaStop Following Follow Jolma

Jolma R. • Love this post!

John Wilson • Looks great! Let's send it around the office and get some feedback.

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Wilson • What about that white space around the logo.

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Wilson • My kid took the product shots, can you clean them up.

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DmitriyStop Following Follow Dmitriy

Dmitriy Baronov • Great topic. My favorite 3, and by favorite I mean the ones that irritate me most:

"That should only take you a couple of minutes to change..." Oh, so you're not planning to count this as a paid revision then?

"Why can't you use my PowerPoint / Word files to re-design them?" FYI, these aren't design programs, and different versions of these programs will actually make your files look different.

"I need it yesterday." Then you should have come to me two days ago!

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DanStop Following Follow Dan

Dan Ringelberg • We like these 2, so combine them.

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GuyStop Following Follow Guy

Page 189: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Guy Smalley • "This should be an easy project to do" code: Low budget

"My wife/ husband thought it would look good this way" one to one direction, committee discision

Why is their plenty of time for the project when bidding it but the deadline always changes after the money is set?

holding on to the roughs for days and then dropping it on me to complete on set deadline.

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RonStop Following Follow Ron

Ron Hoopes • "Hey, you're artsy, can you do me a logo? Are you okay to trade it out?"

First of all "artsy" is almost a four letter word. And second, "do me a logo," ...really? Third, trading for pickled vegetables or pest control or whatever you do does not pay the bills.

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GuyStop Following Follow Guy

Guy Smalley • Hey Ron, I have bartered for a john Deer tractor, vacations, Rifles, Limo services, Commercial refrigerator, Dinners, tree service, sometimes it works lol but not aways

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StaceyStop Following Follow Stacey

Stacey Yongue • Had a client once who wanted to trade wine for design. Not a bad deal (it was good wine!) but in the end it was a major devalue of my time and talent. Now if the client had harvested, pressed, fermented, and bottled the wine personally, that would be a different story. ;)

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LoriStop Following Follow Lori

Lori Mims • "What do you mean it's not legal to use this photo? It's on the cover of the magazine I bought and it's a public magazine."

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JonStop Following Follow Jon

Jon Lehre • "Can you add this <insert element here> and see how we like it? If it doesn't work, then we'll just take it out again."

Drives me mad.

Page 191: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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LoriStop Following Follow Lori

Lori Mims • In addition to John Wilson's comment: "My kid drew this awesome logo and I want to use this instead!"

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Wilson • Was I supposed to proof this before it went to print?

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MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Gouveia • The best question ever came from a corporate client's marketing manager who's primary colour is green:

"Why did you use green?"

Page 192: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Gouveia • There's blank space here. Can we fill it up with something?

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JoelleStop Following Follow Joelle

Joelle Stevens • I like this from concept A, this from concept B, this from concept C. Can you put them all together for me? (good thing they were all meant to be different approaches)

I like white space. (or opposite...) we need more copy until there is no white space

Can you make the copy larger?

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KimberlyStop Following Follow Kimberly

Kimberly Coles • What a great topic! One of the things I will never understand is why people interchange the words... concept (big idea) and comp (page layout of a proposed design).

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DentonStop Following Follow Denton

Denton Pendergast • "play with it"....

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JustinStop Following Follow Justin

Justin Gotthardt • "can you fix this pdf, I need this block of type to go here and this one to go there. What do you mean you will have to rebuild it, we are just moving type around"

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DavidStop Following Follow David

Page 194: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

David Speakman • "Can't you just Photoshop it?" ...last I checked, Photoshop wasn't a verb. And there is no button in photoshop that changes the shirt from a long sleeve to a short sleeve, the color from green to brown and adds your logo on the chest.

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580 1872 Show more comments

Add a comment...

Send me an email for each new comment.

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Harris • I had a someone measure the art, with a ruler, on their monitor to tell me how big it was

3 months ago

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LoriStop Following Follow Lori

Lori Mims • "Can you make this picture of raw chicken look cooked?"

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LoriStop Following Follow Lori

Lori Mims • "Just squish it in there. I don't care if the picture is proportionate."

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • 'make a raw chicken looked cooked???" seriously Lori?? Wow!!!

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Alright everybody I think Lori has taken it to a whole other level. She holds the number one outrageous thing as far as I'm concerned. And Lori what are you doing in here anyway? Shouldn't you be frying that chicken?

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • LOL! Wow!!!! Christopher...great discussion as many have already said :) I agree w/Dean....take everything and write a book. If you're not willing to...I will if you turn over the rights to me and then tell me how much white space is on the page, and how the starburst needs to be placed! :)

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SudhirStop Following Follow Sudhir

Sudhir Bagwe • Most of my client would say, it should look different, think out of the Box, I have never figured out where is the box is it in your mind that you are thinking of.

3 months ago

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SummerStop Following Follow Summer

Summer Patterson • friend looking for free design help/co-worker/client says: "can you just...." (insert anything that takes 2+ hrs that they seem to think should only take seconds)

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CharleneStop Following Follow Charlene

Charlene Prosser • (no words.. just standing behind me and watching over my shoulder)

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CharleneStop Following Follow Charlene

Charlene Prosser • this thread is great ... there are more like this at http://clientsfromhell.net/ (one of my favorite "i-dont-feel-so-alone" blogs)

3 months ago

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CharleneStop Following Follow Charlene

Charlene Prosser • the current post probably doesn't leave the greatest first impression, but i think that the rest of the site (contributions by readers) does share the same humor from this thread.. some profane and extreme, but most are pretty funny!

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Davis • New client receives faxed design layout after I worked an all-nighter to get it finished. He calls at 8:00 am and screams at me and asks if I am drunk...he was irate, claiming that the layout was the wrong size...calling me an idiot and everything else in the book. I assured him that it was the proper size on my end. He again told me I was drunk. I immediately drove to his office with the original layout. It turns out that his fax machine had altered the size.

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JoelleStop Following Follow Joelle

Page 199: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Joelle Stevens • I love this post. This comment is about brand taste level... I was freelancing this year for a client who had a new and innovative sunglass product. I worked with a writer to come up with relevant and engaging names for this niche market. We were also asked to present literal names too (set up for failure). When the client was reviewing the names (by committee) they said "these names are too sophisticated for our product" so they chose a generic name that was literally aiming to hit the customer over the head:( My point is that why wouldn't you want your very expensive product to appear sophisticated? Dumbing it down is brand failure.

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DavidStop Following Follow David

David Peters • There's too much white space going on in here. The client paid for full-color and wants to see more “bang for his buck.” Can we fill it up with something?

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LaureleaStop Following Follow Laurelea

Laurelea Conrad • Why so much empty space? Let's make the columns bigger and add this and this and this. You've got the room.

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JaninaStop Following Follow Janina

Janina Zylinska • "We're still not sure what our company name will be, but you just keep on working on that logo #3 (out of five options I prepared with the name they said before)." -> W.H.A.T?!?

"Make it more dynamic." (but this one may be just Polish equivalent for pop)

love the thread btw

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura O'Reilly • "Love the logo, but the name did not clear.... that's a small revision, right?"

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Harris • with all the grief they give us,

I find if they pay on time, and the check clears,

all is forgiven ; )

Page 201: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • A check that clears? What is that Dean? (kidding, but have been there).

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Harris • Happy New Year Traci : )

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Happy New Year to you as well Dean and everyone else!

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • Your fired.

That's a term that gives me a bad case of the barks.

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • On the flip side of that "Your fired" has been a welcomed comment for me sometimes.

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MikeStop Following Follow Mike

Mike Kelly • Good point, Christopher. I prefer "you can take this job and stick.....well you know.

It's true what you say. Getting kicked out opens new doors.

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JolmaStop Following Follow Jolma

Jolma R. • Here is another one, "Center it".

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DominikaStop Following Follow Dominika

Dominika Marcisz • "Can you send us a jpeg of that file." (Turns out they wanted a high res TIFF two days later).

"Can you make that logo look more 'realistic'."

"It needs more punch."

When designers justify their visual solutions by saying they wanted them to look more 'simple'.

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Page 204: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

DavidStop Following Follow David

David Peters • "These sketches are great! I especially like this one here. How long will it take for you to make me a logo out of this?" Give me a few days I say, to create a simplified look of this idea and supply you with a usable vector file.

Unknowingly to me the client took a photocopy of my thumbnails and had his own "graphic designer" scan it (GIF) and reproduce it on store gift cards. When I finished the line art, he showed me his gift cards and said "NO, I need it to look EXACTLY like this!"

You can imagine my reaction.

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PatrickStop Following Follow Patrick

Patrick M. Kronin • It needs more "EYE CANDY"

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JenniferStop Following Follow Jennifer

Jennifer Jenkins • I just love it when people refer to graphic design as “making pretty pictures”...

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as if design (and what I do for a living) as no real value. It puts a smile on my face every time before I roll my eyes.

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ClaireStop Following Follow Claire

Claire Kaler • Actual quote off of email:

Please send me just the logo with the tag line way below. And as snazzy as it can look if it goes to an outside printer. Or on my web site.

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AlStop Following Follow Al

Al Lemieux • Swirls. "Can you put more swirls in there?"

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StaceyStop Following Follow Stacey

Page 206: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Stacey Yongue • Actual Ad rep question, in my email right now: "Could you please clear up the ink smear above the girl on the right (in the picture submitted). Not sure if it was on the picture it self or if it from constructing the ad. Please check this."

Really? What would I have to gain from adding an ink smear to a photo? I'm busy enough without creating extra work for myself! :)

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Oh Jennifer...I have termed that in my place...

'Gee...you don't need my input on that because all I do is make pretty pictures.'

and then I give them the 'stare'....

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lucStop Following Follow luc

luc LEBRAULT • Nice to hear that english advert terms are as brilliant as french ones!!! In Paris you will find quite often 'classe popu' ; it's a bit as if you'd say 'has to suit both working and upper classes' : very easy! 'sexy' is also very used, waitin' for the 'sexy classe popu'... : you can't imagine how many sexy things you're passing! I was myself able to work on sexy perfumes, sexy cd spots, and even sexy food in my carreer... what are the sexiest things you've been able to work on?

3 months ago

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SteveStop Following Follow Steve

Steve Dwyer • a client once said about a corporate ID project.....'ive done the hard work for you, this is what I want its in word'

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JasonStop Following Follow Jason

Jason Daniel • "I quite like this design that my cousin's, nephew's, sister's dog did for me and it only cost me £50 and a packet of jelly tots, do you think you could do something better for a similar budget?" AAAAAAAARGH! A bit like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyTpzgAW5NA

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JackStop Following Follow Jack

Jack Rotoli • A former coworker found out I was an artist and asked if I would be willing to do an album cover for his band. "Sure" I said then inquired about his music style and what look he and his band was looking for.

Page 208: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Now, this guy was a contractor and I know he was making a nice salary. When I inquired about his budget he said, "Oh we can't afford to pay you. We haven't gotten any paying gigs yet. That's what the album was for; promotion." He never spoke to me again after I answered, "I can't afford to work for you."

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Walker • "Think outside the box, but don't go bleeding edge." "Why is the blue on the brochure different than the blue on the monitor?" I REALLY like the first one (After 3 revisions). You mean I have to PAY YOU????

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • I always love when I get asked "when is the last minute I can get the copy to you and still have my material ready for my big meeting", and they always reply that my answer is ridiculous.

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aAronStop Following Follow aAron

aAron Soderberg • "Can't you just put a white outline on the type...?" "This should be easy for you..."That's a little too creative for us..."

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PatrickStop Following Follow Patrick

Patrick M. Kronin • I always get a kick out of these creative rants and I too enjoy the slam. I've seen where making fun of stupid client commentary is just downright entertaining when shared because just when you thought you heard the dumbest client response, there is always another that splits my ribs.

I'm going out on a limb here, but I think Bravo could do a great REALITY SHOW on The Communication Artists of New York (Hear that BraVO echooooo and squeaky talk). Sequels would include alternate cities and countries like The Housewives of Atlanta, LA, New York and so on....Hong Kong. Or even Top Chef-Top CD or Top Stylist with Tabitha....Top Client with the NIKETiger...OK I watch too much Bravo...I get it, but bare with me here...this is really funny.

Jerry Delafamina and/or Jay Chiat would be raiding select lame-corporate-clientele nominated by undisclosed agency creatives and really laying into the marketing managers, VP's, coordinators, CEO's and any other idiot who is aloud to give an opinion of creative work presented. The ultimate prize (for the agency creatives) would include graphics training for all client decision-makers converting them into creative graphics & copy-intellectual communicators. If they don't pass the course they're canned.

In addition, the client would be awarded a complete multi-media brand campaign produced, designed and written by the ace creative team at the "Hottest Shop in New York" and they couldn't make any critiques other than pointing out the greatness of it's all-encompassing creativity and shear genious of promoting the brand beyond all expectations. We could also do a 6 month post test recall to measure the effectiveness of the campaign to sink or save

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the "Hottest Shop of New York". See, I'm being fair here for all my clients listening.

Now should the client try to comment in traditional idiocy during the presentation of the campaign, Jerry would perform body smack-downs while Jay stuffed their mouths with tar-soaked rags so they are constantly reminded to think before they speak. This would have the Nielson ratings going through the roof so we could sell the idea on the research alone.

Think of the agencies who would be flocking to that media buy for their worst clients. It would send a clear message to all clients who were recommended for the buy that the agency has had just about enough and if they didn't participate it would be the calling- card for dismissal from the shops roster or we could make them pay the Creative Director hourly rate for all the time they wasted with their ridiculous requests.

There's something for everyone. It's a "win-win" in my book."Lets run it up the flag pole folks" and be gone with this insanity once and for all. What-do-ya-say gang? I really think "this has legs".

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Bravo Patrick! Love it! :)

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TimStop Following Follow Tim

Tim Epperson • "Put a holly border on it!"

3 months ago

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JoelleStop Following Follow Joelle

Joelle Stevens • Love it Patrick. Exactly why I would never try to sing on American Idol...even though I can really sing my heart out in my car.

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Malick Smith • Wow, I've heard most of these. lol

But have any of you ever had the client say "Do you mind if I sit here and watch you work?".

Talk about creepy.

Laura Malick Smith • @Traci and Jennifer.

I too had somebody actually say to me one time, "why would I want to pay you for something you have fun while doing?"

@Lauralee

I worked 3 years for a guy that wouldn't ever accept white space. If he couldn't shove something into every space he would freak out. I always suggested that white space is a good thing and can relieve the eye and direct people to what's really important, but he would never accept that. "But there's plenty of room, let's add this . . .

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Devaney • Client.."Ok here is my 360pg 4over5 catalog all done for you. I'll expect all my plates done by tomorrow morning because I've reserved time on press already". Me.."Is this catalog built in printer or reader spreads"? And also you did not provide me with a Dummy book so that I may measure for creep" Client.."What did you just call me a "CREEP", readers spread what is that"?! Note to self..."Watch how you use the word "CREEP" with Clients!

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VickiStop Following Follow Vicki

Vicki Rosel • "You're the expert, but...."

Julio Ramos,Traci Stoddard and Robert G Boulay - those are my favorites also.

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Moore • "It should be easy, just photoshop it and let the computer do all the work"

Page 213: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Yeats • and while they watch you work, they keep checking there watch to see how much you are charging them an hour.

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StefanStop Following Follow Stefan

Stefan Herman • I have been a retoucher for seventeen years and worked in the field of Marketing for eighteen so i've heard a few to say the least.

The top three i love to hate ARE (drum roll)

1. Make it pretty

2. Just photoshop it

3. Make it work. (this one usually comes up after the deadline has been blown by the account team ,legal and the senior art director who wasn't keeping an eye on the junior and didn,t respond to my emails about the direction the job was going in).

3 months ago

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ThomasStop Following Follow Thomas

Thomas Gorman • Oh man- some memorable ones, and most I've heard at some time or another.

From the 'putting 10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound bag' dept. ;) 4oOne of my favorites:

"could you fit this copy to our existing layout?"

3 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • How about...'Well...if you can do that for under 'x' amount of dollars, we are good to go." Hmmm...can anyone say XXX of dollars???

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Harris • Client to graphics artist "We like this ad by our competition, change enough so their lawyers won't scream"

3 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • AUGHHH! I would scream Dean!!!

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ElaineStop Following Follow Elaine

Elaine Joseph • "what if you did... This"

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StuartStop Following Follow Stuart

Stuart Hoggard • As a publisher or print industry magazines, I once had a press-maker client (think large German company) that had commissioned a very large international ad agency (think flashysaville Row suits & double-barreled British name) to design their ad. The package arrived (late, of course) as marked up boards (not film) - I then called the client, the conversation went as follows:-

Me: Hey Hans, remind me what does your company sell?

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Hans: Printing presses (in a somewhat superior tutonic yet confused tone) Me: Right - and we use your presses to print our magazine, they're pretty good. So typically how many colours would we use to print with. Hans: You should know this: 4 - CMYK Me: So that's, like, 4 sheets of film isit? Him: Ja !!!? Me: Right answer - so why am I looking at marked-up Art Work with 16 pretty little pantone colour tags stuck to it?

We ran a blank page with the client's logo in 12pt bottom right - I don;t need this in my life!

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • Dear God make it stop. This getting painful to read.

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StuartStop Following Follow Stuart

Stuart Hoggard • you started it ;) Only have yourself to blame! lol

3 months ago

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StanStop Following Follow Stan

Stan Alachniewicz • POP

probably the one I hate most.

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RobertStop Following Follow Robert

Robert Ward • for more hair-pulling fun, see clientsfromhell.com

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StuartStop Following Follow Stuart

Stuart Sibley • "Can you find something to fill those areas of white space"

3 months ago

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StuartStop Following Follow Stuart

Stuart Sibley • "We like all the ideas you presented to us but the one we love and the one we would like to go with is option 2. However can you use the motif from option 4, with the colour you used in option 1 and the wording from option 3. Oh yeah, you know that project you did for us last month? Could you somehow utilize the type from the 1st idea you sent us on that. Look forward to seeing stage 2!"

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PatrickStop Following Follow Patrick

Patrick M. Kronin • Hey Stuart, we call that the Frankadstein. A little from here...a little from there....and shabam!

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CalvinStop Following Follow Calvin

Calvin Ki • "But the last guy I used only charge me ____!" Right after he finished complaining how horrible the last guy was.

3 months ago

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KevinStop Following Follow Kevin

Kevin Willi • Graphix Design, Graphics Design, etc...

3 months ago

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NickStop Following Follow Nick

Nick Foster • "My friend can do it for free" HA

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CoreyStop Following Follow Corey

Corey Ayres • Simple - perhaps for you, either that or you want boring

3 months ago

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VPA OhridStop Following Follow VPA Ohrid

VPA Ohrid Aleksandar • "Let's try this..."

3 months ago

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DonStop Following Follow Don

Don Borger • After the client plays art director and makes ridiculous changes and idiotic revisions..."You're the designer. Make it work."

3 months ago

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BryanStop Following Follow Bryan

Bryan Knox • I wish I had time to view this earlier as I see there are many familiar phrases that most mean get to work. I always enjoy clients who want a logo and describe it as; We need a logo but want it to be bold but corporate, established and fresh with a contemporary modern flair that is recognizable and unique but not ordinary like 'place example here'. I usually say "No problem, that's what I do." Tick tock.

3 months ago

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LizaStop Following Follow Liza

Liza Mackey • "The client wants to know if he can have his letterhead in Microsoft Word"

3 months ago

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Michalski • "Microsoft Word", "Microsoft Publisher", "Powerpoint" and "Excel" all make my skin crawl.

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LaureleaStop Following Follow Laurelea

Laurelea Conrad • "And we'd like the document to be "editable" so we can make changes later on." PS Do any of you enjoy designing in Word? If so, please let me know as I need people who know how to make that program deliver great looking but "editable" documents.

3 months ago

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JeanineStop Following Follow Jeanine

Jeanine Handley • I once had a consultant tell me I made a "design error", she didn't like the line break on a headline. So of course I could not charge my time to make her changes. Another time she accused me of "stealing" HER design, I had used a circle with a drop shadow and a number reversed out. The same element I had used in project I had designed for one of the clients she serviced. She also reveled to me and another coworker her powerful negotiation skills in her former business, "I would bagger the designer until they gave me the price I wanted to pay".

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JeanineStop Following Follow Jeanine

Jeanine Handley • The real kicker was after continually insulting my design skills , she asked me to create a design for her personal project!, for free of course!

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ShayneStop Following Follow Shayne

Page 223: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Shayne McMillin • "Why does graphic design cost so much, I can get a logo online for $99!" "Would you be interested in doing it for a portfolio piece?"

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Harris • Jeanie, what's her name? I swear we've had the same client ; ) hee hee

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AlyssaStop Following Follow Alyssa

Alyssa Goch • Ohhh what about the ones that tell you *exactly* how to do it. I had a client that wanted a logo based on a WordPress blog template they planned on using for a website. I suggested creating the logo based on the company. "Um, no... we want it to look like the blog". So I gave it my best shot, but they kept saying, "Add a gradient to the text--we want it black and grey" "Make this one letter red" "Now add a gold stroke"... UGH!

And my other pet peeve is when a design freelancer and/or firm uses either "create", "design", or "graphic" in the company's name.

*SIGH* usually I don't get to rant like this. :D

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AlyssaStop Following Follow Alyssa

Alyssa Goch • And what to do when you're a newbie like me, making a logo for a friend, and you both work together on the whole process...just to get to the finish line and have her say "Um, I really like it, but I think I'm kinda not motivated about my business right now..."? What does *that* mean? :(

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Let it out Alyssa...that's what this is for. We have all been there.

3 months ago

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PatrickStop Following Follow Patrick

Patrick M. Kronin • LECTURE FOR THE DAY ON THE VALUE OF ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Believe it or not guys, this used to be one of the advantages at working with an agency. In the good old days, account executives would get ridiculous comments from the client like these and they would calm the client's down in order to get sensible direction. Now the so called AE's are as bad as the clients and say to the client, "Why don't you just come over to the shop and tell the Art Director/Designer exactly what you want and you can see it while you wait. This is a disaster and it's the easy way for the AE to get off the hook setting you up for the fall.

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When I was at Ogilvy, we had the best suits because they had experience from spending time in the creative department as one of the mandates of the agency. We in turn shadowed them on client calls and had mutual respect for each others position. I had more friends in account service than in the creative department because they were so good at keeping clients out of the office and at bay. They would explain to the clients that changes needed to be kept to a minimum in order to stay on budget and that they should trust the judgment of their art director/writer teams. After all, they were hired by Ogilvy and so they had to be the best of the best.

After 5 years at O&M, I rarely met an AE with this kind of experience. Our AE's also kept portfolio's of the work they did with the creatives which garnered even more respect from the creative team. Nobody in account service is required to this at other agencies. I don't even know if they do it any more at O&M, but I have to say, it was the single best shop I have ever worked for and I've been around the block. There were one or two at Saatchi and only one at D'arcy and Momentum, but for the most part, you just don't see this kind of account executive any more. The business has suffered because of it and our industry better get a heads up or things are going to get much worse.

As an Executive Creative Director, I would train teams of Account Executives, Art Directors and Writers at the same time. We would go through strategy development, client presentation, how to handle revisions and most importantly for each of them, how to stay on strategy and budget. It made for great teams and great client service. I continue to manage teams like this and it has paid off greatly. It also reduces the drama around the office and hatred between the two groups. Maybe you should suggest this in your agency and try to work together as a team to avoid allowing the client so much power. You would be amazed at how effective it is at keeping the clients happy and the shop profitable

If you're a freelancer, try partnering with a writer who has business acumen or a fellow creative freelancer who knows a little about client management and have them fill the role of AE or as your business partner. Get them familiar with the account and allow them to call on the client with you and eventually get the changes all the while reiterating the value of time and the budget. This usually keeps the clients focused on the big picture and off the little things especially when they can deviate to billing issues. They can provide you with a valuable smoke screen for the client allowing you both to focus on the big picture. Pay your friend a good portion of the gig because when it's all said and done, they will have saved you a bundle in overtime and unhappy client exposure.

I found a partner like this that also plays the role of Web Master, Media Buyer and Accountant. I was lucky, many of you don't have this opportunity, but it would benefit you greatly to start looking for an other freelance partner who can play this role. There are so many of us on the street that I find it hard to believe that you won't be successful. Many AE's are looking for work as well. Try advertising on this site and see what you come up with. It won't cost you anything and it could prove to save you a bundle.

3 months ago

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AlyssaStop Following Follow Alyssa

Alyssa Goch • @Traci -- LOL *sigh of relief* :)

3 months ago

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André-YvesStop Following Follow André-Yves

André-Yves Coenderaet • "the client : my logo was designed by the daughter of my cousin. She's 15 and very gifted for drawing..."

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • May we be a respected professional someday Alyssa...someday...

Traci Stoddard • May we be a respected professional someday Alyssa...someday...

3 months ago

Page 227: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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AlyssaStop Following Follow Alyssa

Alyssa Goch • Haha, someday soon! :) A degree of respect is due as a right for each person as a human being. However, respect that distinguishes us as reputable and upright is a respect that is *earned*. I hope to earn that by learning not how to "deal" with a situation how I see fit, but how to change my thoughts about a situation so I can make wise choices. It'll come. I'm learning that design is more than just making ideas visible.

3 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • Come on guys... we should be in awe of our clients. It's phenomenal how they have acquired the equivalent of a BA education just by observing. After all, design BA programs have a higher student failure rate than law and medicine, but they figured it all out on their own. Show some respect.

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DarioStop Following Follow Dario

Dario Farina • did you try centering it?

3 months ago

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Michalski • nice Dario!!!! I couldn't stop laughing. I hear that way too many times.

How about, "MAKE THE LOGO BIGGER"

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aAronStop Following Follow aAron

aAron Soderberg • The Art Director's Club of Houston had a t-shirt contest for themselves a couple of years ago. The winning entry had a ADCH logo really high up near the collar at about 1 inch square. The accompanying headline said,

"Could you make the logo bigger?"

Best-loved shirt in history!

3 months ago

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Harris • @ Aaron: my client would of said - don't tell me about creative "white space" I'm paying for that wasted space, so super-size the logo and fill the rest with verbage!

3 months ago

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VPA OhridStop Following Follow VPA Ohrid

VPA Ohrid Aleksandar • @ Aaron: :-D "White space! How can be creative with typos? Please use more photos." This is what usual some of my clients says.

3 months ago

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StephStop Following Follow Steph

Steph Moreland • I hate "look and feel" and, even though it's not a graphic design term, any BS business term like "synergy", "proactive" or "group think".

3 months ago

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • My favourite analogy: white space is to design what the space between notes is to music - without it you just have unintelligible noise.

3 months ago

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Michalski • can you jazz that up a bit?

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JasonStop Following Follow Jason

Jason Mayeu • I'll write it all out and hand it off to you....so "you can make it pretty"

3 months ago

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Petropoulos • "Thanks for you work, but we've decided to go with a less expensive option" = "my nephew can draw a good picture of an elephant, so he's doing it. We'll call you the day before print and ask you to fix his stuff then k?"

3 months ago

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aAronStop Following Follow aAron

aAron Soderberg • ARF! That's the truthiest truth put up here so far!

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JeanineStop Following Follow Jeanine

Jeanine Handley • "I just need a little logo design" I replied, the size of the logo does not determin the price.

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BryanStop Following Follow Bryan

Bryan Knox • a little log design is right up there with simple web site. When I here these terms I immediately ask what the expected budget is as they have already spent it.

3 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Oh my...someone commented on another's ad today and said "it has too much white space." I gave him the "look" and said, "There can never be too much white space." Lord help us all!

@John...been there, done that. F-them. :)

3 months ago

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AlyssaStop Following Follow Alyssa

Alyssa Goch • "Bursts! ... add some BURSTS to the ad"

3 months ago

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ChristineStop Following Follow Christine

Christine Salcedo • - Make it look 2.0ish - You should have this changed in a few, it's easy - Less is more

3 months ago

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Malick Smith • Not sure if I've seen this one yet . . .

"Can you Photoshop that?"

3 months ago

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura O'Reilly • no one has said that yet, but I hear it all the time! "Can you do some photoshop magic?" lol!

Page 234: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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DonStop Following Follow Don

Don Borger • The colors on the brochure don't look like they did on my screen.

3 months ago

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ClaireStop Following Follow Claire

Claire Kaler • This project is going to be fun!

3 months ago

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JoshStop Following Follow Josh

Josh Winspear • these are all making me laugh.. good posting!

"work your magic, josh!"

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MitchStop Following Follow Mitch

Mitch Lopata • LOL! Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AxwaszFbDw

3 months ago

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ToddStop Following Follow Todd

Todd Thomas • "Can you tap it over just a tad?" (what the hell is a tad?)

3 months ago

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BryantStop Following Follow Bryant

Bryant Agnew • "Can I see that in a different font?"

3 months ago

Page 236: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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BryantStop Following Follow Bryant

Bryant Agnew • Ohh, and..."Can't you give it a little ummph?"

3 months ago

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JoshStop Following Follow Josh

Josh Winspear • @ Mitch, that was awesome!

3 months ago

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MitchStop Following Follow Mitch

Mitch Lopata • @ Josh, LOL!!!!!!!

3 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • "You know...do that thing you do to that text... Can you do that??" Ummm...what f'ing thing is that??? Delete it because the copy sucks anyway???

3 months ago

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InigoStop Following Follow Inigo

Inigo Laugermann • "All you have to do is..."

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JasonStop Following Follow Jason

Jason Irwin • Well the ne designers hate me for is "we'll see"

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jibolaStop Following Follow jibola

jibola fagbamiye • I want something simple... I hate hearing this!!!

3 months ago

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BobStop Following Follow Bob

Bob Hoot • "I want something simple," means, "It's got to be cheap ... and I want a beautiful design that is effective, but I don't have anything in the budget."

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LaurenStop Following Follow Lauren

Lauren Lenartowski • "Make it pop" for sure is my biggest one.

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SunnyStop Following Follow Sunny

Sunny Okamoto • Hilarious! I didn't know so many designers were comedians too. We could take this show on the road. Christopher, I could tell you have great comedic timing with deadpan delivery. Love it.

3 months ago

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AlyssaStop Following Follow Alyssa

Alyssa Goch • "Ohh I only need the website in a few days so I can send those invitations...no pressure!" And the proverbial ":)" to make things all better!

3 months ago

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StephStop Following Follow Steph

Steph Moreland • Not quite what's being discussed here, but I LOVE it when I'm at a party or something, and someone asks what I do. When I reply that I'm a graphic designer, they almost always say something like "Oh, I can use Photoshop too" to which I reply "I can use a knife, but it doesn't make me a surgeon!"

3 months ago

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FaithStop Following Follow Faith

Faith Stewart • It'll only take you 5 minutes

3 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Oh Faith!!! I've heard that so many times it makes my head swim!!!

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LaureleaStop Following Follow Laurelea

Laurelea Conrad • True story: Today a client introduced me to their end client as the graphics person we brought in to "make it pretty". He also said we rewrote the copy to make it "simplistic".

Had to laugh: Far from making it pretty and simplistic, we took an unintelligible jargon filled

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theoretical 40 page mess and made it clear, compelling and engaging-----and then we designed it so it would get noticed, get read and get results.

3 months ago

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StanStop Following Follow Stan

Stan Alachniewicz • Steph, I've never heard anyone say that to me,but I love your response. I'm sure I'd be super irritated if someone actually ever said that to me and I'd probably be a lot more harsh in my response than you.

2 months ago

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TomStop Following Follow Tom

Tom Kostro • "It's too creative..."

2 months ago

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Page 242: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Dean Andrews • "Go ahead and pull out all the stops!" This from the nickel-and-diming client with "no budget." Of course, I said, "Great! And what's your budget on that?" The stops were not pulled.

But my all time favorite on color corrections has to be, "This doesn't match my memory."

2 months ago

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CharleneStop Following Follow Charlene

Charlene Prosser • "... full creative freedom."

It's no secret - I know it means you have no idea what you want!

2 months ago

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JenniferStop Following Follow Jennifer

Jennifer Bennett Walker • It's perfect! Can you just put the text here and and make it bigger, change the color from blue to black, center the logo and we're done!

2 months ago

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JeanineStop Following Follow Jeanine

Jeanine Handley • The deadline has moved up and the scope of the project has expanded, but you will stick to your quote, right?

2 months ago

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MarkStop Following Follow Mark

Mark Duran • I've heard all of the above so often, I do hurl! Here's what I heard yesterday

"That's so 2.0" "how come the colors don't look right when I print them out" "quick and dirty" "do we have to pay for this photo?" (and this is from a lawyer!)

and after a million insignificant changes... "how come this costs so much"

2 months ago

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StanStop Following Follow Stan

Stan Alachniewicz • Dean, stuff like that is exactly the reason I prefer to work as an in-house designer. I don't think I could handle dealing with clients to make my living.

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2 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Mark...Oh yeah...forgot about the whole 'quick and dirty' thing! (how could I???) Then they wonder when you give them a comp why the photo says 'comp photo' across it. "I was going to present this to my client! I can't have that on there!" Plain and simple dumbass...then buy the photo, let them hate it and then keep buying them until you have an entire library of unusable photos. That's the ticket! :)

2 months ago

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Emina DStop Following Follow Emina D

Emina D Sehovic • Totally agree with Robert I am laughing out loud because these are so true and actually real life things.

2 months ago

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Emina DStop Following Follow Emina D

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Emina D Sehovic • it will only take you 10 minutes

2 months ago

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EllieStop Following Follow Ellie

Ellie Dickson • "Can you make it edgier?"

2 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Give me an extremely sharp Xacto and I can make anything edgier! lol Ellie!

2 months ago

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EllieStop Following Follow Ellie

Ellie Dickson • LOL!

2 months ago

Page 246: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Malick Smith • @Stan

I've had in-house people (execs and PMs) that were just as bad as any client, sometimes worse. I would have to explain the same crap over and over and over to them. I don't think we're safe anywhere . . .

2 months ago

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RaymondStop Following Follow Raymond

Raymond Scholz • @Traci

I once gave a comp for a magazine ad to a client and then didn't hear from them for a few days. When I contacted them they told the layout was great and it had been printed. "What!?" said I... Yep, their ad appeared in magazines across the country with a stock-photo watermark plastered right across a 72 dpi photo.

2 months ago

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DonnaStop Following Follow Donna

Donna Nettis • Oh, my God. Talk about clueless.

2 months ago

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Wow, Raymond....wow! Definitely clueless!

2 months ago

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StaceyStop Following Follow Stacey

Stacey Yongue • Had a similar situation with an ad rep who insisted on my downloading a watermarked, 72 dpi wheat field stock photo for use in a color, glossy directory. Told the rep, "If the client absolutely knows he wants to use this photo (which he did!), have him purchase the thing for $10, and send me the photo BEFORE I even send the first proof." Bottom line is after much back and forth with this hard-headed rep and his superior, I send the proof with the watermark blazing across the wheat field, the client finally purchases the picture, and all ends well.

Seriously, sometimes I wonder if sales really wants to understand what we do, or if reps know how many times we save them from themselves. The sale doesn't end with simply selling the ad. If I don't produce a great looking ad to go along with that best-sales-pitch-ever! sales pitch, what's the point? I wish we were seen as partners rather that competitors in the process. We're on the same team!

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Kimberly Hawkins • you're lucky, Raymond your client didn't get sued by the stock-image company. And, surprised the magazine's art director didn't field that one either...

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Mitch Lopata • WOW!

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Stacey Yongue • @ Kimberly I tried the stock-photo-folks-suing-us angle with my situation above.That argument wasn't even taken into consideration. And we had just come out of bankruptcy...

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Stan Alachniewicz • @Laura Malick Smith,

True, but some of the stories of actual clients seem a bit worse

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Laura Malick Smith • @Stan

Then you've been very lucky. Pretty much 80%+ of these items happened to me at my last in-house job. Problem was, the owner was hiring people with zero experience in either being an Ad Rep, PM, or designer. They didn't want to learn either, and just schlepped through their job making the same mistakes over and over. I'm really glad to be out of there. I think my blood pressure double during my duration on the job.

Just saying, I've had it in house and as a freelancer. Stupidity is everywhere . . .

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JasonStop Following Follow Jason

Jason Daniel • These are all very funny guys and they happen to all of us and many times, but I think we need to remember that clients are our life blood and without them we wouldn't have the creative challenges that keep us doing what we do. Clients are not qualified in the same way as we are to look and think outside the box and rely on their own perception picked up from TV, web and advertising they see on the street or in magazines.

It is our job/brief to collaborate and enhance a clients understanding of what they are trying to do and if an idea is strong enough it normally wins over, but not always.

Clients don't understand the minor details, implications about brand and communication and should be encouraged to learn as you go along, difficult I know but a skill in itself!

That said they can be trying sometimes, for want of a better phrase.

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Dean Andrews • Raymond, I think yours wins the prize hands down ! ! ! !

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Who let Jason in here?? I'm KIDDING!!! We all know the importance of our clients and in-house relationships, but one does need a venue to vent from time to time :)

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Dean Andrews • Very well said, Jason.

We all need to walk that fine line between listening and advising. It's a very important partnership and both sides need to treat that relationship with respect.

In my experience, when things have gotten tough (just once or twice, of course), I could look at the way I handled my client and find the person to blame staring at me in the mirror.

Fortunately, I've been doing this long enough now to head off trouble at the pass which has to include turning clients away who just aren't going to be a good match for me.

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Jason Daniel • Thank you Dean,

I was merely trying to suggest that without them we don't do as personal projects don't pay quite as well and you are right, experience counts for a lot when handling clients. I have been fortunate to have been a creative director for a long time which means a switch in focus to client relationships as well as managing creative and I have enjoyed this enormously

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and have clients I regard as friends too.

We do all need to vent sometimes, but let's hope that a current client doesn't see the tirade of abuse, which even if meant with affection can turn into a client problem that far outweighs "can you make the logo bigger please?"

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Christopher Porter • Thank Jason for reminding us. But I tend to think like Paul Rand retorted to Steve Jobs when asked to brand Apple. His reply went like so:

"I asked him if he would come up with a few options. And he said, “No. I will solve your problem for you. And you will pay me. And you don’t have to use the solution. If you want options, go talk to other people. But I’ll solve your problem for you the best way I know how. And you use it or not. That’s up to you. You’re the client. But you pay me.” And there was a clarity about the relationship that was refreshing."

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Stuart Sibley • I can imagine that going down like the proverbial lead balloon with a lot of my clients!

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Stuart Sibley • I like it when clients try and get all technical: "I like the new colour. Can I get a PMT for this?" Sure, you may have to wait a month for it... ;-)

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Dean Andrews • Yes, I was thinking the same thing before you added your comment. We can

look like a bunch of whiny complainers en masse. Don't need to give credence to the already existing negative view that some folks have of "creative types." Enjoy your work!

DEAN ANDREWS CREATIVEwww.deanandrewscreative.com <http://www.deanandrews.com/>310.306.6206

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JoshStop Following Follow Josh

Josh Winspear • are we now repenting? i stopped caring about my work a long time ago! i just do as they ask.... no questions, no fights.... looks like crap, but hey, they are happy and it's all green in the end, right?

ok, i am kidding... to a degree ha! loved your reference, christopher!

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Christopher Porter • Thanks Josh. I love that reference as well. We are all complaining because we have worked hard to be where we are and we have a skillset and talent that not everyone has. We are seeking validity and confirmation for who we are and what we do. When you drop your car off at the mechanic you don't stand there with him and tell which tools to use, we don't tell the doctors and surgeons how to do their craft. If you've worked hard but still have to listen to the ramblings of a client who wants your expertise but at the same time listen to the pontificate about your craft when they know little to nothing about it then I say gripe away.

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John Michalski • As far as I'm concerned, we're fighting an uphill battle... there is a population that believes we're doing the same thing their 10 year old niece does, that it takes us 10 minutes to make a logo, that we're happy to create a brochure in exchange for an order of french fries.

I'll keep griping as long as this is the status quo.

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Stan Alachniewicz • @Traci, I was wondering the same thing, "Who invited him" haha!

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Christopher Porter • "Stock Options" Is a term that will send me over the edge. I have been offered more stick options in my thirteen year career that I could shake a stick at. All of them worthless. I'll take the money please. I've played monopoly and I know what funny money is, good day to you sir.

Dean Andrews • Ooooo, nice rant!Our job is definitely harder now. I think our job is also to search for higher quality clients. That's my focus these days. Are there exceptions? Ug, yes, I'm about to put a proposal together for a nonprofit client with no budget. But I'm not going to lowball it, just plan on giving them a little less of my time and effort (yeah, like that ever works – still want to do great design) and I won't have any trouble finding a place to spend the money.

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The really terrific news is that we can work remotely with anyone. This new client is clear across the country, as is my copywriter. Love it!!!So I am looking for clients anywhere in the entire universe. The quest is to how to make it easier for them to find us. We need to be in groups where those folks are looking for us.. . . when we're done whining. ; )

DEAN ANDREWS CREATIVEwww.deanandrewscreative.com <http://www.deanandrews.com/>310.306.6206

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mary arneson • You go Christopher...I totally agree!

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ChristopherStop Following Follow Christopher

Christopher Porter • I'll go Mary, you just watch me. =)

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MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Ervin • ...but we have no budget

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Rita Frizzell • We'll be deciding this by committee.

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TexStop Following Follow Tex

Tex Otto • Why can't you use the pictures from our website for our brochure? I took them with my smartphone.

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DouglasStop Following Follow Douglas

Douglas Tait • when attempting to refer to four-color process (CMYK) the client said: 'sym-ka'

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Brian Kolstad • "What's wrong with Comic Sans?"

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JohnStop Following Follow John

John Michalski • "I'd be able to do that too if I had photoshop here."

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Kolstad • @ John Michalski = Perfect!

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DexterStop Following Follow Dexter

Dexter Hartley • Can you fix my email?

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John Michalski • ahh mannn!!! Dexter... I just spit out my water! That's hilarious... and yet true. I can't count how many times I've instructed clients on how to read an attachment or how to copy to an FTP server. One client was asking me how to do stuff in Microsoft Word.... how the hell should I know?

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JoshStop Following Follow Josh

Josh Winspear • christopher, sorry, sarcasm can be my weak point and usually not obvious in messages. i am in the same boat as all of you. i refer to those that hover over us and tell us how to do our job as "arm-chair art directors." :) it's pretty amusing what everyone thinks of our jobs, and what we ACTUALLY do...

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Dexter Hartley • On an "All clients are evil" tip, I just read this, had me in bits: http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

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Josh Winspear • classic, dexter! have you seen the one similar to this using the photo of the cat?

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Dexter Hartley • hell yeah. I was nearly crying with laughter!

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Dean Andrews • OMG! Dexter, that was a HOOT! A must certainly for anyone who adores British humor. Had me in "bits" too . . . lots of little tiny ones. Got to pull myself together now and make a living.

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RomanStop Following Follow Roman

Roman Ruiz • "Make the sky blue," "Make the ground wet."

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RomanStop Following Follow Roman

Roman Ruiz • Sales person: "Can I have it for my meeting in an hour?" Me: "When did you schedule your meeting?" Sales person: "Last week."

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Laura Malick Smith • @Dexter

I've seen that before, but I was really glad to come across it again. Wow, I know we're all too professional to ever do something like that, but it would certainly release some pent up frustration. lol

Thanks.

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Traci Stoddard • Dexter, I've seen the 'graph' before and the 'cat'. The cat is my all time favorite! My kids even fell out! LOL!

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Josh Winspear • the cat one rules... if anyone can find a link to it, i'd appreciate it.. i tried looking for it earlier, but couldn't... it almost sums up everything here....

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • I will have to dig for it. btw...what a great photo. It shows that you are a good-natured individual IMHO.

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DeanStop Following Follow Dean

Dean Andrews • Hey Josh, here you go, http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

2 months ago

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Josh Winspear • that's the one, dean! hahahaha... just awesome! thank you. oh, this has me in tears...

and thank you, traci!

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Traci Stoddard • Thank you Dean for finding that! I am going to bookmark it now. When I need a laugh, I will click! :) Just went through a few more of his posts...wow...he is an instigator to some point, but it's freaking hilarious!

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • David Thorne is the best... his email exchange for a spec work request is too funny for words... http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

Page 265: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Wayne, that's the 'graph' one I was referring to. Don't you just wish we could do that?? Well, we could, but...well...you know... lol!

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Laurelea Conrad • Thanks for my Friday laugh. It's been a long one, and that email chain made me roar! (not sure about the grey small typefact though----).

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • @Traci - Yes, but he has given us the next best thing... I simply tell clients I don't do spec and if they push it I send them the link. Twice now - one thought it was funny and offered token payment and the other I never heard from again.

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I've been doing this long enough to know that these types are losing propositions in the long run and I don't go there. Also because spec hurts the whole industry. (Of I make exceptions for my best clients who rarely ask and offer for those who never ask... and charities)

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Traci Stoddard • Love it Wayne!

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StanStop Following Follow Stan

Stan Alachniewicz • Oh my God the pie charts thing is brilliant! Now I'm on to the cats one!

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Page 267: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Stan Alachniewicz • I've seen the cat one before, but it is definitely hilarious!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Hey, why are we all on here on a Friday night anyway??? LOL!! Actually, I am working (sadly)...not for much longer tonight though...

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Joseph Alessio • I'm wondering who would read 763 comments to get the sense of where this thread has gone...

I'd say my least favorite (un-)design word is "pop," as in, "Can you make that... erm... POP more, ya know?" Usually ends up in lots of graphic effects and gradients.

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Malick Smith • The cat one made me wince a little because I do love cats, but I still laughed out loud!

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • To each his own Joseph on reading the thread. I doubt anyone that has come in late in the game has gone back that far.

POP is a big one here that people are sick of btw. We all agree w/that!

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Michael Akuamoah-Boateng • classsic stuff

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LauraStop Following Follow Laura

Laura Malick Smith • Cartoon

Add a comment...<a title="7-1" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/8242279@N02/5358647293/"> <img src="http://static.flickr.com/5161/5358647293_627ce88948_m.jpg" border="0"/> </a>

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Dean Harris • hee hee

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AdrianStop Following Follow Adrian

Adrian Garcia • "...and move this here and that there, but you're the expert, what do you think?"

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BryanStop Following Follow Bryan

Bryan Knox • I get that from a client of mine. Realize I bill by the hour so it does not bother me so much, but he will have some crazy, way out of budget idea and when I tell him what I think he would get upset. Now he is happy with a thicker invoice.

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RachelStop Following Follow Rachel

Rachel Beser • Client: can you make this line thick / thin?

Me: what exactly do you mean?

Client: THICK / THIN!! Just tell your computer to do it!

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AlvaroStop Following Follow Alvaro

Alvaro Pires • "that's gonna take only a couple of minutes"

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DonnaStop Following Follow Donna

Donna Nettis • "The last graphic designer I worked with did it."

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Janelle Wandmacher • We're going to need you to create a PowerPoint. or We this template designed in Word. When will people ever understand that PowerPoint and Word should not be used in the same sentence with "Design". And that neither one is a page layout program that professional designers enjoy working in!

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Page 272: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Laura Malick Smith • An old Dilbert

http://digitaldemiurge.com/Facebook/12_3_99.gif

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Traci Stoddard • :) Laura

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Gareth Edwards • 'It needs to maintain 'our' style but can you make it look a bit more you know "ARTY FARTY!"

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Page 273: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Josh Winspear • so true, gareth... "of course stay within brand, but you have full creative license..." then i think, "to do what? .... fine, maybe i'll drop a picture of a cat in the corner..."

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Gareth Edwards • and there could not be a more condescending term to describe my work as ARTY FARTY!!! I didn't just walk off Sesame Street!

'Todays design was bought to you by the colour RED and by the letters FU!!!'

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Josh Winspear • classic!

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Page 274: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Traci Stoddard • LOVE IT GUYS! Tears coming out of my eyes! LOL!

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Vannon Chiang • Can you make this 1/4 page black and white ad into a 2'x3' full color poster? Oh, I only have a JPG from the agency that created it.

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Traci Stoddard • Is that a 72 dpi jpg stolen off the web Vannon??

Where have you been my friend??

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Page 275: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

André-Yves Coenderaet • Th client : Thank you for your mail but you have to change the colour. It is not good one ! ;o)

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AdamStop Following Follow Adam

Adam Leviton • "Work your magic" as if they are trying to make me feel special or something.

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Cameron Wasson, MBA / BFA • "I expected Photoshop to be included so I could see the designs; why isn't it here?" (Upon submitting PDFs and JPGs to a client)

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GarethStop Following Follow Gareth

Gareth Edwards • @ Cameron WOW!! Thats um pretty special!!!

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Cameron Wasson, MBA / BFA • "Could you refer one of your students?" (Yeah. Right. Like I haven't taught them profitability/cost analysis!)

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aAron Soderberg • Yeah, the "magic" is what makes them think that you shouldn't get paid such an "exhorbitant" sum. After all, magic is, well, Harry Potter stuff. It's also "art" and "art" was the fun time in school, and why should you get paid (that much) for having fun?

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DonnaStop Following Follow Donna

Donna Nettis • I thought you just sat down, and it comes out naturally. Why should I pay you?

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Adrian Garcia • "Just grab the logo from our website for the banner (8ft x 3ft) and for flyers to handout!"

"Hey, you know about coloring in your 'design thing' job, can you help me pick a color for my upstairs?" - exact wording from a neighbor (I suggested black. Ha!)

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Stan Alachniewicz • Two words for you aAron, Sports athletes....

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DanielStop Following Follow Daniel

Daniel David • "make my colors more HD"

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stephenStop Following Follow stephen

stephen fagan • "That's great! but can you take it 10% more funky"

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Jack Rotoli • A client wanted his portrait on his 20' x 60' billboard. At the time (80's) outdoor adverts were still hand painted. I told him I needed a good, clear, large photo to give to the painters. He sent me his business card with a postage stamp size image of his face. I tried to explain to him that the painter was going to draw a grid on the photo and each square in the grid would represent a square foot on the billboard. He mailed me his media kit complete with his company brochure and annual report. both pieces had the same postage stamp size photo. I drove to his office and took his picture.

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WayneStop Following Follow Wayne

Wayne Rowe • "Make sure you give me the Photoshop diet"

I had a "heavy set" client who when we first acquired the account requested all his personal photos be squeezed horizontally by exactly 92%. Two years and 40lbs later we we were squeezing him by 84%.

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Dean Harris • Ha! I'm all for that, will I be taller too?

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Cameron Wasson, MBA / BFA • @Wayne: LOL!! And then they get mad when you put the time on the invoice - "What, you trying to tell me I'm fat!?"

2 months ago

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aAronStop Following Follow aAron

aAron Soderberg • they think you're trying to "pad" the invoice.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • Heard this one today..."Ok, just change the background and send it to print tomorrow." (from one brand to another)...background, images, fonts...EVERYTHING needs to change. Yet somehow I am a miracle worker and will get the prints done and delivered on time.

I also spent 8 hours working on a design only to find out this afternoon that the 'other company' is now going to design it...send them your files. Understand, this is my FT job w/sister companies (billable hours do not apply), but it still pissed me off! What a waste of time on a to-do list that is at least 30 projects long (most past-due).

Whew! Thanks for letting me rant. :)

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GeoffreyStop Following Follow Geoffrey

Geoffrey Holliday • "wow I love it! thats what i want right there...oh wait i cant use that"

" oh i forgot to tell you to add this to it...*2hrs later* oh did you change it? you didnt have to but thanks."

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BrianStop Following Follow Brian

Brian Jung • i always find it funny when non-designers tell me that "oh it will be just a couple of quick simple changes..."

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PaulStop Following Follow Paul

Paul Herman • When showing a design: "...is that the way it's going to look?"

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IanStop Following Follow Ian

Ian Salsman • Can anyone tell me what "Make it more techy" means?

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MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Ervin • Hey, this looks almost professional!

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Richard Cruz • A Client had given me a bad-resolution image downloaded over the internet..." Can you make that high-resolution please."

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true 860 1872 groupItem?seeMo

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JoshStop Following Follow Josh

Josh Winspear • So true Brian... But, I don't find it funny any more! ;)

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DanielStop Following Follow Daniel

Daniel Nava • "The design needs more flow", "I have a pdf of my logo" (which is a scan of their business card that was converted to pdf with whatever cute little exporter they have.

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PeterStop Following Follow Peter

Peter Gaskell • Could you email me a copy of our logo.

( I hate to mention I have mailed you the logo 3 times in the last week.)

Adding ...esque or ey onto the end of any word so as to make it descriptive.

This print out isn't the right colour.

(we have a canon desk jet for proofing)

Page 284: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

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PriyankaStop Following Follow Priyanka

Priyanka Karyekar • waiting for the clients feedback !!!!

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PavitraStop Following Follow Pavitra

Pavitra S. Tandon • "I want the work to represent me, who I am.. and I am everything that the company is"

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TomStop Following Follow Tom

Tom Hagerty • "Just another quick revision..." By now it bears no resemblance to what you really need so either I'm stupid or you are insecure. Either way, it's time to move on unless selling hours for dollars is that important.

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RaymondStop Following Follow Raymond

Raymond Scholz • @Tom, I make a lot of money selling hours to clients who don't know what they want, or didn't have their materials in a final form before sending them to me... Endless revisions sometimes ends up in an invoice that's double what my quote was.

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RaymondStop Following Follow Raymond

Raymond Scholz • @Priyanka, OMG that's the worst! It usually means there is a committee deciding whether it should be beige or oatmeal, and one guy who doesn't like either.

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TraciStop Following Follow Traci

Traci Stoddard • I have dealt with committees deciding on a design...never again.

Page 286: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Today..."What is priority on my list of 30+ projects?" "Well, Traci, these five are important and I guess you'll have to put some more hours in." (don't get paid by the hour)

Yay for me! :) Working for nothing but the satisfaction!

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JaimeStop Following Follow Jaime

Jaime Williams • "I don't like it, but I'm not sure why.", "That shouldn't take long".

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IanStop Following Follow Ian

Ian Salsman • "Can you convert it to word so I can make changes to the design?"

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PeterStop Following Follow Peter

Page 287: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

Peter Gaskell • not really what people say but, People discussing design without the designer present and coming up with solutions based on wrongly assuming what i had in mind.

You can see how my days going can't you.

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stephenStop Following Follow stephen

stephen fagan • Your sitting at your desk and the client is behind you, looking at your work in PhotoShop and you get " WOW! Thats great now you PhotoShop that up a bit?"

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alina mihaelaStop Following Follow alina mihaela

alina mihaela frincu • UNIQUE - Really? You want something unique? You mean I shouldn't just copy/paste and call it a day? And I agree about the "Like" buttons, there are some really good examples here.

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Page 288: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

DaveStop Following Follow Dave

Dave Vasudevan • When a patient goes to a Doctor, the patient listens to what the doctor says, and never tell or instruct the Doctor what to do. On the other hand when they go to a Graphic Designers, they direct us as though they know it all. This is the one that drives me crazy.

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MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Andrulonis • Here is something I heard just recently:

"I saw your resume and it's impressive. I'm thinking I probably can't afford you!"-- (Me, thinking): Yes, you're probably right, you probably should not have even picked up the phone to call me.

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JoshStop Following Follow Josh

Josh Winspear • @ian: that is sooooo true... classic... all to often have i had the request.

i have been monitoring these comments for the past couple weeks, and i think we need to find tactical ways to educate our clients and managers. i am not sure what the approach is or

Page 289: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

if it is possible, but they really don't get it... yet they expect us to pull rabbits out of our hats at the drop of a dime. it's all about communication. the reason i throw this out there for discussion, is i had a manager, who incorporated this crazy animated gif that was created (prior to my arrival might i add) in his powerpoint deck (yes, powerpoint). we were constantly rebranding this damn animation for various pitches. i finally spoke up and said, "can we not brand it so it can be included in all future decks, because the animation requires 75-100 frames and we could be more efficient with these projects if we not branded the phone part of deck." He did not realize what it required to build these and after I explained it, he was was totally cool with the the generic phone concept. Now, of course, this wont work in all situations, but, it may in some.

Back to "working your magic" people! ha!

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JOANStop Following Follow JOAN

JOAN FLAVELL • Depending upon whom is asking this of you, they either don't know what they want, or what is good, or someone else is giving them the mandate. They are an order taker, instead of a problem solver.

Some design and creative battles are not worth the fight, and some are. Save your creative energy for the right time, and the right project. My suggestion to all Designers and Art Directors: make sure you have several looks up your sleeve, walk the person through the stages of your idea to sell them in, and have a rational behind why you're making these changes. Because change for change sake isn't a reason. Look at the bigger picture. Then you won't get as frustrated.

If you are really all that, then look for a new job that will appreciate your creative genius!

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Page 290: Terms in Graphic Design That Drive You Crazy

MichaelStop Following Follow Michael

Michael Andrulonis • Josh: I totally agree with you. I have found that there a couple of effective ways to educate. I like to ask them lots of questions, and I try to pick up threads or themes that they repeat. This actually educates me as well. Trying to understand them has been most helpful to me.

Another way was to allow them to become involved in the process. I did this (hesitantly) twice but it was effective. One client insisted on going to a press-check with me. They did and after two hours of being subject to another proof sheet coming off the press, watching the pressman clean the blankets etc., rinse and repeat, they never went again and I guess they decided just to trust me.

Another didn't like any of the palettes I put together for their corporate identity and wanted to borrow my PMS swatch book. I complied and after two days they gave the book back and said they couldn't choose from the thousands of colors. They chose one of the palettes I assembled for them.

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GaryStop Following Follow Gary

Gary Freeman • "When I was at the office yesterday I loved the 'purple' that I chose for the logo design... but today I looked back over it at home on my basement computer and the 'purple' looks different. Can you change it back?"

Hello- your outdated compaq presario with radio shack monitor might need some calibration. Or just throw it out. Your looking at the same file anyways. So hang up your rotary phone you just called me on, take a lesson in light vs. pigment and let me get back to my Saturday.