TDEC: ELABORATION

TDE

• T-thesis or topic sentence• D-details (evidence)• E-elaboration (context for evidence)

CHOOSING DETAIL

• When your write out a detail, you need to then decide which parts are worthy of a direct quote, and which parts you can paraphrase.

• Ex: The narrator says,“Then we crossed a wide plain, and there was a big river off on the right shining in the sun from between the line of trees, and way off you could see the plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98).

• This quote is too long. When you have more quoted material than your own words, you have a problem.

CHOOSING DETAIL

• Original: The narrator says, “Then we crossed a wide plain, and there was a big river off on the right shining in the sun from between the line of trees, and way off you could see the plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98).

• Improved: As Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, he describes the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98).

• Both of the quoted pieces contain powerful imagery and alliteration, which is best quoted directly. The rest of it could be paraphrased.

QUOTE WEAVING

• Never dump your quote. You end up with a run-on. Always weave the quote into a sentence.

Dumped quote: Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, “there was a big river shining in the sun” (Hemingway 98).

• Never leave a quote hanging in mid-air:Hanging Quote: Jake travels across the countryside of Spain. “There was a big river shining in the sun” (Hemingway 98).

QUOTE WEAVING

Your quote should always be woven into a sentence:

Woven Quote: As Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, he describes the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98).

• Notice how spoken aloud, the quote sounds like a complete sentence. Some strategies for this is starting the quote with a verb or noun, so you can integrate it into your sentence.

POV

• Always write about literature in 3rd person. So, use the characters’ proper names with the pronouns, “he” or “she.”

• You should also write in present tense (even if the author wrote in past tense).

• Exceptions: if the what is being referred to is past in the present of the story.

For example: The boy announces to his class that “Hitler was a bad guy” (34).

• Change the tense of a word within a quote by using brackets.

POV

• Inconsistent POV: Bill claims “I know who they are” (Hemingway 78).• 3rd person consistency: Bill claims that he

“know[s] who they are” (Hemingway 78).• Inconsistent tense: Jake and Bill reach Spain

and “passed through a town” before “the road commenced to mount” (78).• Present tense consistency: Jake and Bill reach

Spain and “[pass] through a town” before “the road [commences] to mount” (78).

PARENTHETICAL CITATION

• Cite your quote at the end of the sentence containing the quote.

• The author’s name and the pg. # go in parentheses after the closing quotation mark.

• The period goes after the closing parentheses. Ex: Bill claims that he “know[s] who they are” (Hemingway 78).

• After the first time you mention the author’s name your writing, you don’t have to include it in your citations.

Ex: In The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway the theme is the idea that…. Bill claims that he “know[s] who they are” (78).

PARENTHETICAL CITATION

• If you don’t have the citation after a quote, the punctuation mark will go inside the quotation.

Jake and Bill watch the “grain-fields,” and as they climb higher, notice the “wind blowing the grain,” their attention captivated by the Spanish countryside(111).

ELABORATION

• Elaboration for direct quotes should be factual.

• You should address the following topics when creating elaboration:

1. Placement of the D and what happened leading up to it.

2. Context of the D being used; what is happening at the time? Who is speaking? To whom? About what?

3. Devices being used in the D4. Paraphrasing the D if the quote is hard to

understand by itself.

ELABORATION

• As Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, he describes the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (99).

• E-placement: Towards the middle of the book.• E-context: Jake is traveling to Pamplona with

Robert Cohn and Bill after being in bustling, urban Paris. He is describing the Spanish countryside. • E-device: imagery and alliteration

DETAIL/ELABORATION

• Towards the middle of the book, Jake travels with Robert Cohn and Bill across the countryside of Spain, away from bustling, urban Paris. He employs imagery and alliteration to describe the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (99).

• Placement in the book?• Where exactly are they?• Where have they just come from?• Who is involved?

In The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway’s diction addresses the fear of being inferior to others. At the beginning of Book II, Jake meets up with his friend, Bill Gorton. Bill is already inebriated and urges Jake to not be “daunt[ed]” and join him in drinking (79). The word, “daunt” gained significance as Bill continued to use it, insisting he had “never been daunted in public” and speaking of a friend who reached success by never being “daunt[ed]” (79). This word connotes weakness, and as Bill was only concerned about appearing this way in public, the reader can sense that he only feared others perceiving him as weak and therefore inferior. The repetition of “daunt” emphasized Bill’s insecurity at the mere idea of seeming less-than, which is an emotion that continues to reappear in the book’s “lost” characters.