TALK LIKE A WINNER

1. Ask

#POSE QUESTIONS THAT HELP INCREASE THE FLOWAsk with positive intentions. (Make sure that you're agreeable, kind, and supportive in the way you approach asking questions of others)

Prompt them to elaborate on their topic (If a person comes to a quick halt in their discussion with you, it could be because they're afraid of boring you)

“That sounds interesting. Could you tell me more about that?"

“How else or where else is that true? I'd really like to know."

Seek clarification of their statements. (type of question gives the speaker permission to talk more about a subject that could have potential interest for both of you)

"How do you mean?"

Ask cleverly for sensitive information (when you'll be asking a question in the hopes of expanding a conversation that may get you into sensi- tive areas)

"I'm just curious. What is it that you hate so much?"

What often happens is that the person will counter with: "Why do you ask?" or "What made you ask such a question?" And the reply that handles this objection is for you to say, "Oh, don't mind me. I was just being curious."

Handle the "I don't know" response.

"Well, what would you say if you did know?" or "That's okay. Just suppose that you did know."

Present questions to keep them feeling resourceful. (you'll need to support the person you're listening to)

"So that was a lot of fun for you?"

"Did that make you feel proud?"

"How could you not be excited by that?"

"That's something you really enjoyed, right?"

"You must have really loved that one, didn't you?"

Pose questions to lift their bad mood ask a certain ques- tion in an attempt to break a speaker's bad mood or change their focus in a conversation

“That's not the real you, is it?"

"Are we having fun yet?"

2. Evaluate

#UNDERSTAND THE UNDERLYING MESSAGEDON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS!

Gauge each other's stress level (That way, you can avoid misjudging their intentions and realize that their words and actions will be distorted in pro- portion to their level of stress)

Give people an opportunity to vent. (Sometimes a person just needs a patient, understanding listener who will take the time to hear what they have to say. They may not be looking for someone who will solve their problems or even for a different perspective.

Your job in this phase of the conversation is simply to give your full attention to the speaker. Also provide positive non-verbal feedback as well as verbal input if it is desired.

Determine how other people perceive an issue's level of significance. (What may seem like a minor deal to you may in fact be a major issue for the person that you're talking with. But when the importance is high for the other person, an enlightened communicator will treat the conversation with a greater sense of respect and seriousness.)

Don't take things too personally. When people feel comfortable chatting with you, they'll express themselves with a large degree of freedom.

Ask for clarification on the meaning of a word or phrase.

People will often have different interpretations of or associations with a particular word or phrase. That's a lot better than assuming

Recognize when others are just being polite to you

By this I mean that when some- one is trying to influence me, I am not inclined to say "no" to them, but will reply with a less-confrontational comment like "That would be difficult."

Don't mistake passion as evidence of truth.

3. Align

#Seek the Common Ground