Take it like a man JONATHAN

THOMPSON BRAVELY SUBMITS TO A RANGE

OF TERRIFYING-SOUNDING NEW

PROCEDURES FOR CHAPS - INCLUDING BOTOX SPRINKLING AND FAT MELTING -

IN ORDER TO TRY TO MAKE HIMSELF

GORGEOUS AGAIN

W hat the hell happened here?' asks Tom, peering at my scalp. Tom knows my head better than I do,

hence his confusion. You see, Tom's job for years has been to take my hair off- but this time somebody's put it back on.

Four weeks prior, and I'm lying on a treatment table somewhere near Harley Street, crushing a pink rubber duck in one hand as yet another injection goes into my skull. It hurts. A lot. 'We used to have a stress ball in the shape of a doctor,' says Vicki Smith, director of aesthetics at Absolute Aesthetics, my syringe-wielding tormentor. 'But a patient tore its head off.'

I can empathise. The cause of my current discomfort is the latest hair rejuvenation treatment: Platelet-Rich Plasma (PRP). Like the famous 'vampire facial', this involves taking blood from your arm, spinning it around in a centrifuge, then creaming off the growth-factor-rich platelets. These are then reinjected into the area to be treated: a targeted turboboost for flagging follicles.

The most painful part of the process is the so-called 'halo block' - local anaesthetic ~ injected around the scalp. With a crash-helmet- (!)

i,i like sensation fastening around the top of my 1l: head, I pop to the loo, terrifying an old lady ffi going in the opposite direction. In the mirror, ~ I look like a Klingon warrior post-battle, 1l'

36 BEAUTY & COSMETIC SURGERY GUIDE

an anaesthetic ridge protruding from my forehead and blood caked about my temples.

With the halo block/Klingon facial taking effect, the rest of the PRP procedure is painless. Smith and her team inject my body's own restorative agents into my thinning crown and embryonic widow's peak, then clean me up and send me home, with instructions to run a tortuous-looking spiky wheel (a dermaroller) over the affected area to stimulate growth, and to only wash my hair with baby shampoo. I'm not allowed to keep the rubber duck.

PRP is just one of a number of non-invasive clinical treatments driving an upsurge in male cosmetic surgery in this country. According to the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS), the number of men undergoing procedures in the UK shot up 17 per cent between 2012 and 2013, with non-surgical face and body treatments now accounting for 75 per cent of the total. This

That's where the 'sprinkles' come in. It's a new approach to Botox application and it involves significantly smaller quantities of the toxin peppered across the forehead to weaken, rather than freeze, muscles. This softens lines instead of eradicating them, giving a more natural look. It's the equivalent of a few careful pinches of seasoning over a roast chicken -rather than a fistful of stuffing inside it. The process is significantly less painful than PRP (the needles are much finer) and takes less than half an hour from start to finish. In many ways, it's reminiscent of a lunchtime check-up at the dentist and I'm back at my desk easily within the hour.

It's no great revelation that Botox works - it does. But Mr Mullan has the dosage andspread down to a fine art. Over the course ofthe next two weeks, my forehead starts tosoften like a piste after snowfall: the markingsand general contours remain intact, but it's a

I LOOK LIKE A POST-BATTLE

KLINGON -A RIDGE ON MY HEAD IS CAKED IN BLOOD

boom is being fuelled by a number of factors, from a significant increase in men aged 35-45 becoming single again, to a more general destigmatisation of cosmetic surgery.

If women are gaining an advantage this way, so the thinking goes, then why shouldn't we? It's a domino effect hitting everything from promotion prospects to Tinder matches.

According to cosmetic surgeon Geoffrey Mullan ofMedicetics, your average male's major worries can be split into three timeless cliches: getting older, balder and fatter. But the good news is that there are now effective noninvasive treatments for all three.

'The metabolic rate of a man's skin begins to fall around the age of 35, and that's when we're seeing clients starting to come in for preventative measures,' says Mullan as he preps my own 35-year-old face for one of the most popular new procedures - Botox Sprinkles. 'It's about making improvements, but not looking "done",' continues Mullan, who has seen a 20 per cent year-on-year increase in male patients, with 80 per cent in the 35-45 age bracket. 'Guys want people to notice, but not to notice, to look as if they're well rested and fresh, but not as if they've had any outside assistance.'

much smoother run. Nobody asks ifl've had work done, but plenty of people start noting how 'well' I look. One female friend comments how fresh-faced I am when I arrive to meet her in a bar, exhausted after a long day's work. It's a shame that the effect only lasts three to four months - these sprinkles are stardust.

By this stage, I'm feeling pretty confident. I'm clearly looking younger in the face, while on top my 'Lazarus' cut is getting borderline unruly. But I still have one of Mullan's three male cliches left to confront: my belly. For this, I head off to see Dr Rita Rakus, an aesthetic doctor and dermatologist so renowned she's become almost as feted as some of her celebrity clients.

My main concern upon entering her clinic is that, with a thoroughly average 33-inch waist, I'm not fat enough for any treatment to have a significant impact. I'm wrong. 'Oh yes,' says Dr Rakus as she administers the all-important 'pinch test' to my stomach, 'there's plenty for us to work with here, Jonathan. I think we could see a serious improvement in a few weeks.'

The cause of her optimism is Vanquish, a new body-contouring treatment that works by directing 'focused-field radiofrequency

Boys' RooM

waves' at your fat deposits and heating them until they melt away. Stripped of your shirt, you lie beneath what looks like a giant Anglepoise lamp. There's a warm sensation as the radiofrequency waves decimate your defenceless fat cells, leaving your body to dispose of them naturally afterwards. For serious results, Dr Rakus prescribes six weekly sessions. Each time, I'm left on the bed with a little bell to ring if things get too hot, feeling like a cross between a rasher of bacon under a grill and James Bond in the hands of Auric Goldfinger.

Once again, I can't deny the results. Straight away, my abdomen feels tender, as if I've done a few too many sit-ups at the gym. But within a month, I see some slight definition around my obliques. Towards the end of the process, I start waking up with a significantly flatter stomach than the one I went to bed with. The results aren't as swiftly apparent as the Botox Sprinkles, but the makers ofVanquish claim that they're permanent - once liquefied, the fat cells don't come back.

Back in the barber's chair in Tommy Guns' Soho salon, where I've been having my hair cut for the past seven years, I have to admit that I do look different in the mirror. My face appears younger, while I'm definitely thinner around the waist and thicker up top. The results of the PRP are as clearly written across Tom's face as they are across my head. 'It's insane,' remarks Tom, who can't stop poking and prodding the new growth. 'It's like land reclamation up here.'

So with prices starting from £1,300, would he recommend it to his other male clients? 'Hmmm,' he says. 'I mean, at that price it's basically going on a nice holiday or getting your hair back. But why go away if you're not confident enough to take your hat off on the beach? I'd tell them to save up and do both.' D

ADDRESS BOOK

• Absolute Aesthetics, 1 Chapel PlaceWl (absoluteaesthetics.co.uk;020 3757 7178)

• Medicetics, 37 Connaught Street W2(medicetics.com; 020 7402 2033)

• Dr Rita Rakus, 34a Hans Road SW3(drritarakus.com; 020 7460 7324)

• Tommy Guns, 65 Beak Street, Wl(tommyguns.co.uk; 020 7439 0777)

37 BEAUTY & COSMETIC SURGERY GUIDE