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In these difficult economic days with so many media outlets (radio,

television, Yellow Pages, business directories of all kinds as well as newspapers) clamouring for your advertising dollar it is important for you to get the best possible value for your money. We believe an investment in advertising space in the Swan Magazine represents good value for the following reasons: Any published advertisement lasts only until its next issue. A weekly newspaper lasts a week at best and in most cases a single reading only. We are a monthly magazine and so any advertisement lasts at least a month until the next issue. We have many, many examples of advertisements lasting and working much longer than that since, because of the nature of the Swan Magazine, readers - your customers - retain copies of the magazine and refer back to it. Swan Magazine covers a unique area of distribution extending throughout the City of Swan and The Shire of Mundaring, with a bulk drop in Kalamunda. Print copies of Swan Magazine are bulk dropped at various locations, such as shopping centres, libraries, tourist centres and focus points. This ensures that your message is delivered directly to your customers and potential new customers. The print copies of Swan Magazine has a monthly readership of around 30,000, all of whom have your details in front of them. We have gradually reduced the number of home-delivered copies

and replaced them with bulk drops. This was not an easy decision and one we took with trepidation - but the results have been unexpected. Advertisers have reported a increase in results by and large as the copies have been taken by someone who wants to read it rather than have it delivered in the centre of a thick bundle of advertising material where it gets lost or thrown out. An advertisement flashed onto a cinema screen lasts perhaps 30 seconds and few patrons take pen and paper with them to jot down your phone number in the dark. Swan Magazine severely limits the percentage of space devoted to advertising, making each one more effective. We have all seen publications with pages and pages of advertisements with nothing else on the page to tempt the reader to linger, notice and read your advertisement. Because we carry so much editorial in the way of articles of general interest readers often tell us they read the magazine ‘from cover to cover’. We are also the only printed, freely-distributed medium to carry both fiction and poetry. In addition the quarto size and the fact that it is bound makes the Swan Magazine easy and convenient to read anywhere. In addition to the printed version, which we will always publish, we now produce a digital issue which can either be e-mailed directly to your inbox, or a link to a commercial site where you can read the magazine or download or print it out for later reading.

The first, test, issue was electronically published in October of 2013 on the website Issuu and as at the date of writing this has been viewed over 16,000 times locally and globally. Swan Magazine does not publish so-called ‘advertorials’ for the simple reason that they do not work as an advertising feature. People simply do not read them. When did you personally last read an article all the way through which began ‘We have been in business now for thirty years and our service is .... etc...’? Puff pieces like this are ineffective because they are unread, irrelevant and regarded, quite rightly, by the reader with scepticism. Whatever you sell readers do not care to read about the excellence of your staff or their kind natures. Our advertisements are more effective on a dollar for dollar basis. A business card board advertisementin full colour in the Swan Magazine costs $80 per month. Can you get a 6 by 4 centimetre advertisement in colour for $20 a week in your current publication? A final point to consider is that Swan Magazine places advertisements on appropriate pages - health product advertisements appear on those pages devoted to health; financial consultants’ advertisements of the finance pages and so on - these advertisements are not placed wherever there is space or it is convenient - each is placed in a relevant, effective, spot. We offer a range of advertisements to suit every advertising budget - why not ring 9298 8495 and talk to us.

WHY YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE IN THE SWAN MAGAZINE

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Gardening Clean-Up Time 7 Gardening Hacks 7Guildford Special Guildford Heritage Festival 11 Guildford Food 13 Historic Guildford 15 Refurbished Information Bay 16 Guildford Hotel 16 Guildford Walks 17

Health Matters 3Home of the Month 31Humour 34

Literary - The Idler 30MCC 29Notes From Parliament 9

Pets 32Poetry The Hokey-Pokey 26

Rotary 7SAFE 33

The Voice of Swan Hills 8What’s On 34

IN THIS ISSUE PAGE

Art and Artists 6 MAC Re-opens 19Australia Day 20Books 20 Anniversary 20 KSP What’s On 20Business Card Board 35,36

Chef-Adventurer Brazil 4Community Robert Juniper Award 25 New Recovery Gear 25 Zonta Swan Hills 18 City of Swan Honours 21 Bickley Valley Artisan 22Computers 28

Dining Out Bangkok Noi 5Editorial 2Education 24Entertainment The First Henry 26 Kookaburra Cinema 27

Finance 29Food For Thought 12

FEATURES PAGE

COVER PICTUREWoodcutter

Member of theProgressive

Axeman’sAssociation of WA Photograph courtesy

Guildford HeritageFestival

See story on page 11.

IN THIS ISSUE

SWAN MAGAZINE Published by:

Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd

WEBSITE: www.swanmagazine.com.au

Publisher: Douglas [email protected]

Editor: Jan [email protected]

Office: 14 Ridge Road, Glen Forrest, Western Australia

Phone: 9298 8495 E-mail: [email protected]

Sales: Jack Boyle 0475 419 072E-mail: [email protected]

Postal Address: P.O. Box 554, MundaringWestern Australia 6073

MARCH DEADLINES: Advertisements: 25th February

Editorial: 3rd March

Copyright: Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd 2015

Printed in Western Australia by Vanguard Press using petroleum free inks and green electricity on plantation sourced paper. Both

paper manufacturer and printer are certified to ISO14001, the highest

environmental standard.

DISCLAIMERThe information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein.

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EDITORIALBUSHFIRES

Since the beginning of this year Western Australia has had a lot of bushfires. Australia

has always had bushfires. Before the arrival of the whites in Australia there were bushfires, before the arrival of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander there were bushfires. Nothing has changed except the causes and the damage they do. When there were few permanent settlements and houses and a small, mobile, population a fire was dealt with by moving out of its way and coming back later. Bushfires burned themselves out naturally as they ran out of fuel, had their direction changed by wind or rain. Once the consequences of bushfires became injurious to a fixed popularion ways had to be sought to combat what was now a menace rather than a naturally occuring phenomenon. This is what Wikipedia has to say about the last two fires in Western Australia: ‘One firefighter and one police officer injured as 6,600 hectares (16,000 acres) burned over 8–11 January around the north Perth suburbs of Bullsbrook, Chittering and Muchea. ‘The town of Waroona was threatened by bushfire on 31 January resulting in the loss of one home. A portion of the South Western Highway was closed and over 50 residents were evacuated with some 200 firefighters required to combat the blaze. ‘A fire that had started 30 January near Northcliffe doubled in size on 4 February during a hot windy day. Over 58,000 hectares (143,321 acres) was burnt out and the fire, now considered indefensible, destroyed two homes and most residents were being evacuated to Pemberton. By 6 February, although more favorable conditions returned, the area burned had increased to 80,000 hectares (197,684 acres) and was expected to be declared a natural disaster zone.’ As I write this the fire is not out, and is not likely to be out for some time yet. Three factors stand out in the quality of these fires. Firstly the huge, in some cases decades,

of fallen material which gave the fire a massive load of fuel to be consumed. And secondly the reduction of the ‘controlled burns’ used by

those charged with keeping us safe which, some feel, allowed the greater build-up of ungrowth material. Australia’s science agency, the CSIRO, says controlled burns ... are key to management. The final factor here is the much-vaunted ‘climate change’. This results in more bushfires, and what is incontestable is that the high, if not unprecedented, levels of carbon dioxide have spurred growth of all vegetable material. Carbon dioxide is essential for the growth of all plants and while that’s good news for farmers with crops and the increased levels have substantially increased yields in Russia and Africa, reducing starvation and increasing life.

Bushfires have killed more than 250 people in Australia in the last forty years. As well as human impacts, long-term bushfire effects include loss of bird and animal habitats, reduced soil fertility lasting decades and contamination of water catchments with ash and debris. However, bushfires can create a number of surprising benefits for the environment that cannot be created any other way. CSIRO: ‘We need to accept fire for what it is – an ecological process that determines the composition of our flora and fauna. Fire is as natural as the sun and the rain. Nothing else can replace it completely. Nothing else produces the chemicals in the ash to stimulate new growth – or in the smoke to stimulate the flowering and regeneration of particular species.

‘Nothing else produces the heat pulse that removes growth-inhibiting toxins in the litter, or opens tightly-closed fruits to release new seed,

or penetrates deep into the soil to stimulate the germination of long-buried seed. ‘Nothing else produces the succession of plant development to which our native fauna have adapted to meet their requirements for food, shelter and reproduction.’ [http://www.csiro.au] What has also changed is the causes of such fires. ‘Fire is not the foreigner in this country – people are. The first inhabitants of this country learnt that they had to break up the fuel to survive.

They burnt extensively and often. They learnt the responses of the plants and animals to burning and took advantage of these responses to coexist. Fragmentation of the bush by different land use practices, such as urbanisation and agriculture, means that the Aboriginal fire regime is no longer possible or desirable.’ [CSIRO] Lightning strikes start fires, as do accidental man-made events such as a faulty power pole or condensors and metal work. But so do arsonists. The role of mental illness in arson iscomplex. It is often assumed that fire-setters are mentally disturbed. Even if an arsonist does have a

psychiatric illness, this may not be a contributing factor in the fire-setting behavior, or may be only one of many factors. Arson is responsible for approximately 25% of all fires, bush or otherwise. Against this we have a thin line of incredibly brave trained men and women volunteers and professional firefighters typically teamed in areas to fight fires. In severe seasons volunteers come from the Eastern States, United States and New Zealand.

Light aircraft and helicopters are used for water-bombing. All Australians owe them an immeasurable debt of gratitude One of the firefighters that had been at the Northcliffe fire since early Sunday morning posted on Facebook: “It’s times like this when you’re at a fire and have been absolutely belted for days and threat of life and properties is real that you can finally make you smile. These are a grab bag the local school made up for us and check out the personal note in each one” Feel free to send a shout out to our hard working firefighters, volunteers and everyone behind the scenes on the Facebook page of the Department of Parks and Wildlife, Western Australia

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HEALTH MATTERSGOING BALD?

JOHN BELL

For some men going bald is not a worry. In fact, it has become a kind of fashion statement.

However, for others, hair loss can cause severe psychological problems and great disruption to social activities. Recent research suggests that many people perceive men with hair loss as older, less attractive, and less successful than men with full heads of hair. Hair loss can contribute to loss of self-esteem, self-consciousness and anxiety. Hair loss and its treatment have concerned people for thousands of years. The ancient Egyptians massaged their bald spots with a mixture of crocodile, lion and hippopotamus fats to encourage hair growth. In fact hair loss “cures” over the centuries have been many and varied with most falling very much into the area of medical quackery. Shampoos and conditioners can temporarily improve the appearance of existing hair, but cannot halt or reverse hair loss, while hair restoration surgery has greatly improved, it is still far from perfect. Recently science has taken us out of the “snake oil” age with some new medications that really do work to prevent baldness for some people. Hair loss is an amazingly widespread condition. In Australia, up to half the male population will experience some degree of hair loss by the age of fifty. Other population groups such as Japanese and Chinese men are less affected. Each strand of hair you have sits in a tiny hole (cavity) in the skin called a follicle. Baldness in general occurs when the hair follicle shrinks over time, resulting in shorter and finer hair. Eventually, the follicle does not grow new hair. The follicles remain alive, which suggests that it is still possible to grow new hair. Male pattern baldness is related to your genes and male sex hormones. The typical pattern of male baldness begins at the hairline. The hairline gradually moves backward (recedes) and forms an “M” shape. Eventually the hair becomes finer, shorter, and thinner, and creates a U-shaped (or horseshoe) pattern of hair around the sides of the head. Hair loss may be due to other conditions. This may be true if hair loss occurs in patches, you shed a lot of hair, your hair breaks, or you have hair loss along with redness, scaling, or pain. A skin biopsy, blood tests, or other procedures may be needed to diagnose other disorders that cause hair loss. Hair analysis is not accurate for diagnosing hair loss due to nutritional or similar disorders. But it may reveal substances such as arsenic or lead. Some types of hair loss are related to conditions such as bacterial or fungal infections that can and should be treated. As well, physical damage to the hair leading to hair loss can be caused by constant bleaching or ponytails and braids that are too tight (more likely

on women than men). However, by far the most common cause of hair loss is known as androgenetic alopecia or male pattern hair loss (MPHL). This is an inherited condition triggered by a predetermined sensitivity to a naturally occurring chemical called DHT. With male pattern hair loss the follicles stop growing normal hair and instead grow soft, fine, pale hair. Eventually the hair stops growing completely. Hair is usually lost from the front of the head, especially at the sides and on the top back of the head at the crown. Female pattern baldness is similar to MPHL; however, hair is lost from the top and centre of the head without a receding hairline. The loss is less prominent than in men, and it occurs first simply as an overall thinning of the hair. Treatment is not necessary if you are comfortable with your appearance. Hair weaving, hairpieces, or change of hairstyle may disguise the hair loss. This is usually the least expensive and safest approach for male baldness. There are, however, some drug treatments have had some encouraging results. Minoxidil (Rogaine), a solution that is applied directly to the scalp to stimulate the hair follicles. It slows hair loss for many men, and some men grow new hair. Hair loss returns when you stop using this medicine.Finasteride (Propecia, Proscar), a pill that interferes with the production of a highly active form of testosterone that is linked to baldness. It slows hair loss. It works slightly better than minoxidil. Hair loss returns when you stop using this medicine. Hair transplants consist of removing tiny plugs of hair from areas where the hair is continuing to grow and placing them in areas that are balding. This can cause minor scarring and possibly, infection. The procedure usually requires multiple sessions and may be expensive. Suturing hair pieces to the scalp is not recommended. It can result in scars, infections, and abscess of the scalp. The use of hair implants made of artificial fibers was banned by the FDA because of the high rate of infection. Male pattern baldness does not indicate a medical disorder, but it may affect self-esteem or cause anxiety. The hair loss is usually permanent. Call your doctor if: Your hair loss occurs in an atypical pattern, including rapid hair loss, widespread shedding, hair loss in patches, or hair breakage. Your hair loss occurs with itching, skin irritation, redness, scaling, pain, or other symptoms. Your hair loss begins after starting a medication. You want to treat your hair loss.

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CHEF-ADVENTURER

BRAZILBRENDAN MURPHY

FOR A MORE IN-DEPTH of A Taste of Europe or indeed A Taste of the World follow The Chef Explorer on Facebook, with more anecdotes on Travel and Food or listen to Brendan on his weekly radio show on Radio Ellenbrook 88fm. To buy his books go to www.chefexplorer.com.au.

Carnival! Samba! Football! Bossa Nova, famous statue of Christ the Redeemer towering

over Rio de Janeiro, breathtaking beaches like the famous Ipanema, the world’s most famous rainforest and the mighty Amazon! In fact, Brazil is home to the greatest mix of

wildlife and plants on Earth! So it’s no wonder that Brazilians claim that even Deus e brasileiro! (God is Brazilian!) As for food ... well, the cuisine has many similarities with that of its South American neighbours but it is the largest country on the continent, stretching from the Amazon in the north, through the fertile plantations of the central coast and on to the southern pampas, so the food of Brazil spans a unique mix of cultures and cuisines. The original population contributed popular ingredients like cassava and guarana. The African slaves influenced the cuisine of the coastal states, and around the country a Portuguese heritage is reflected in a variety of dishes. Some typical dishes are the African inspired Caruru which consists of okra, onion, dried shrimp, and toasted peanut and/or cashews, the delicious casserole of Moqueca consisting of slow-cooked fish, tomato onion and garlic, originating from the region of Bahia. Lots of tropical fruit are among the local ingredients used in cooking, and rice and beans are common too, as in their national dish Feijoada which just has to be my dish of choice for you to cook and consume when watching the mighty Brazilians give us all yet another lesson in Football!

BRAZILIAN FEIJOADA This dish is regarded as Brazil’s national dish and in fact is very international in its ingredients. The beans and hot peppers come from Mexico, the meats from Portugal and the recipe from African cooks. Only the Cassava that it would be traditionally served with is native Brazilian.

IngredIents400g diced pork350g black beans, pre-soaked and cooked250g smoked sliced sausage2 chopped onions4 cloves chopped garlic200ml chicken stock2 bay leaves

2 handfuls fresh chopped Parsley1 chopped paprika pepper or chilli pepper to taste (optional)Salt and pepper

Method1. Cook the pre-soaked beans as packet instructions until tender, Drain and reserve approx 100ml of the bean cooking liquor.2. In separate pan, sauté and brown pork with onions and garlic. Add the sausage and simmer for 10 minutes.3. Add the beans and rest of ingredients (keep some parsley for garnish) including bean liquor and simmer gently covered for 30 minutes or until the pork is tender.4. Add the salt and pepper just before serving5. Traditionally, African cooks remove about 100g/ half a cup of beans and mash them well and return to the pan to thicken the juices.6. Serve with boiled and mashed Cassava if you can find any, or normal mashed potato or rice.

Chef’s tip: Make sure you get the right black beans used in Western style cooking, not confused with the oriental style fermented black soybeans. I got some from my local markets, soaked them over-night, then they only took approx an hour to simmer until tender.

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DINING OUTThe

Thoughtsof an

Ageing,Balding

Foodie

BANGKOK NOIDOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

Regular readers of these modest journals of tours through the jungle of modern Australian

dining will have noticed that it is my habit to chat about the decor if the food doesn’t bear description. My first thought going into the Bangkok Noi Thai Cuisine was ‘I hope the food’s good, the decor isn’t up to much.’ As it turned out the food wasn’t good, it was excellent, even spectacular. So you have been spared a lyrical description of beige walls and beige bare wood tables. T h e l i t t l e restaurant, only very r e c e n t l y opened is scrupulously

clean, neat and simple with some dozen tables inside and a couple outside for patrons on the side walk. The restaurant offers both take away and dine in for lunch Tuesday to Saturday (10:30am to 2:30pm) and dinner seven nights a week (from 4:30pm). I always feel a trifle fraudulent writing up Thai food as I know so little about the manner in it becomes transported from produce to delectable meals. My daughter-in-law elect is trying to train and educate me but it’s a slow, uphill battle. I

overcame my problem by asking the server what she recommended. Her manner was perfection and charming with a smile you could warm yourself by and her suggestions were excellent. We began with a serve of vegetable Spring Rolls and Curry Puffs each ($7.90 per serve) - delicious, and the pastry on the puffs just melted in the mouth, the filling rich and lightly curried. Served with a small salad and Sweet Chilli sauce.

This we followed

with three main courses shared between the two of us so we could try a fair range. With help, we ordered Masaman Chicken Curry ($14.90), Pork Pad Thai ($13.90, Crispy Duck Ginger Shallot ($19.90) and a small Steamed Rice ($3.50). Several things struck me about the food - firstly the speed at which it came out of the kitchen. Considering that nothing is from the stock pot and everything is put together as ordered I was amazed that they were so fast. It was admittedly a slow night, but even so. Secondly, the quality of the ingredients were truly impressive. Considering the price of the dishes one might imagine that chef might be tempted to skimp - but no, everything was absolutely top class fresh food. Thirdly the fresh, light, flavours of the dishes. Even the curry seemed fresh and light on the tongue. The crispy duck was just superb, the skin truly crispy and the meat succulent, the dressing sauce subtle and tasty. This was a dish I have not eaten before, but whose acquaintance I was happy to make. The Pork Pad Thai was as good as I’ve had

anywhere and better than most, better even than I had in Darwin, which has the best Thai food outside of Thailand. Thai cuisine is ideally suited to that climate. Less so to Perth, but in the humid heat of last week we might be excused for thinking we were in some sub-tropical resort. For dessert we ordered Deep-fried Ice-cream which comes with a choice of Caramel, Chocolate or Strawberry toppings. We went home replete, carrying our doggie bags of food we simply couldn’t cram down, happy and full of good food. On our next visit we are going to try some of the other dishes - The Pad Bamee, the Pad Lard Nar, Choo Chee Curry Fish, Tom Khar and Somtum. The very names sound delicious. It is my sincere hope that if this restaurant becomes a huge success, as it certainly deserves to, that they don’t spend the money on doing up the decor, but in wages for help so chef in the kitchen can continue to produce the kind of delectable provender he or she currently is. Service was swift, the food was amazing, the

price was moderate and the seats were comfortable - what more could any diner possibly want? My thanks to reader and columnist Steve Blizard for drawing my attention to this little gem. Very highly recommended indeed.

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ART AND ARTISTS

CALIGRAPHY AS ARTJUDITH-ANN

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

Steve JobS

Those are very inspiring words. And yes, we have all heard it before, also anything that a

coach or mentor would urge you to do. As it happens I am simply one of the lucky ones who know and love what I do. I hear so many lament that they don’t think that they have a creative bone in their body and I always like to suggest that their creativity lies in something else, crafted in other areas. While I hand craft mine onto paper or canvas you might find your creative space in rearranging the furniture, tinkering under the bonnet of your car, building something on the computer or even cooking something tasty for a meal. These creative moments take you into the value of being nurtured by something that totally absorbs you; it makes your heart happy and extends who you truly are. It’s giving of your authentic self and what a gift to give to the world. Authentically, I dip my nib into ink, yes, and the sort that sits in a little jar not a cartridge. And the reason I do it is twofold. Firstly, I love to create the magic of letters into words that give meaning and emotion. Secondly, I love the fact that it can make people so happy, even tears of joy when they see it revealed after commissioning hand written words on place cards for a wedding or writing a favourite

poem as a gift for someone dear. I also love finding new ways to manipulate and twist my steel nib by pushing and pulling the letter into a new formation or life. I like the fact that it lives on, framed, given, received and mostly that it has the ability to creep into ones heart and

move someone. I have ideas; plenty of them that keep me awake designing an exhibition, project, wedding book or something that has not been done before. You might call that crazy; it’s the innovation that keeps me awake with a visual diary full of jottings. I asked a few of my FaceBook followers to explain what I do, because when someone asks me there are ten thousand answers that race through my mind. Do I start at illustrating brides in their wedding gowns and writing the vows beside that, or hand writing an invitation? So here they are; “fancy writing, works of art in written form, artistic communication, words that add a personal and unique touch, calligraphy artist and teacher or simply, beautiful handwriting”. I also have a way of finding what the essence of someone is and turning that into the gift of words. You may see me out and about demonstrating at the Twilight Markets so please come and say hello as you watch me write, and dip my nib into coloured ink & dance it across the page

with your name. Keep writing, keep lettering, and keep the written word alive.....simply “write it on”.

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9295 2466SAWS AND MOWERS

GARDENINGCLEAN-UP TIME

GEOFF FRANCIS

Warm weather means mowing machinery isn't busy, however, leaf blowers and high

pressure cleaners certainly are! A few tips if you are considering the merits of getting a high pressure water cleaner may be helpful. One of the big advantages of high pressure cleaners, is that they use a lot less water and clean surfaces much faster than a standard garden hose. In fact most garden hoses will deliver up to sixty litres per minute while a pressure unit uses only six or maybe eight litres a minute and will do a far better job. The cleaning power of a water cleaner machine is a combination of pressure and volume of the water. Higher pressure can be achieved with less water, but this results in slower removal of the offending mud or grime. There needs to be sufficient water volume to wash the dirt away after it has been loosened. For most jobs around the home up to 1800 ppsi is all that is needed. However, a volume of about eight litres per minute is needed to wash away the loosened dirt and grime. If you are putting your cleaner away for several weeks at a time, a good idea is to run some radiator fluid through the system just before storage. This will help reduce the tendency of the valves to seal up when not in use. And always keep electric cords well clear of water ... the mix is deadly!Courtesy of eastern hIlls saws and Mowers

ROTARYNO JANUARY MARKETS

GEOFF FRANCIS

Mundaring Rotary Club supports a district project called "Camp Opportunity", a week

long camp of exciting holiday activities for disabled youth held at Point Walter every January. Not only do we financially support it, but several of our members are active organisers and participants helping the kids. Every young participant must have a "Buddy" to be with them throughout the week. We are pleased that our own Liam Briggs helped out in this respect. Our two young students are back from their year overseas and will be giving a short presentation to the club in the near future. These are always very interesting sessions as we learn of different cultures and the students adaption to their new environment. Recently local lad Craig Ford headed off to Spain as our ambassador. No doubt he will return fluent in Spanish in twelve months time. Another project our club is working on is the building of some shelters after the devastating fires of Jan 2014. In this we are working with Swan Valley Rotary and Mundaring Shire with some significant

financial support from the Westpac Bank. Remember the Mundaring Rotary Sunday Markets in Nichol St on Sunday 8th March.


Call them shortcuts, money savers or clever tricks, but many thrifty garden-management

practices, or hacks, have proved worthwhile for gardeners.

1. Upcycled Seed-Starting Pots Egg cartons with holes punched in the bottom and clam-shaped plastic containers from the grocery serve as great seed-starting containers. As plants grow to larger sizes, transplant into recycled containers, such as yogurt tubs with holes poked in the bottom.

2. PinchingIt might feel wrong for a second, but splitting the center of the stem, known as "pinching” the plant, will encourage a new set of leaves to grow and restart the plant on the right path.

3. Coffee Ground MulchCoffee grounds (in moderate doses) are a healthy source of nutrients for your soil and are also great at deterring aphids. Simply mulch around your plants with your morning’s coffee leftovers.

4. Ant DefenseIf an ant infestation has plagued your garden, boil citrus peels in water and pour in susceptible areas to deter the colonies. Leftover water from a pot of boiled sweet potatoes also works.

GARDENING HACKS

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THE VOICE OF SWAN HILLSLET THERE BE LIGHTS!

FRANK ALBAN MLA

When, at an open forum in September 2014, the Hills Football Association brainstormed

ideas to develop and ensure a strong future for local football, one great idea stood above the others; lights! Lighting opens up the options of evening games as well as matches with adjoining districts. It also encourages kids in the hills to become involved in an active sport, whether it is football or other sporting codes that may also benefit from such infrastructure. Many communities in the more rural parts of the Swan Hills electorate have received significantly less infrastructure for sporting than either the higher density suburbs or neighbouring rural electorates, many of which have benefitted from the Royalties for Regions scheme. Particularly in rural communities where there is less entertainment for youth, strong sporting communities provide not only the benefits of physical activity, but life skills such as working within a team and maintaining commitments. So, an idea exists. The question now is “how do we make this happen?” Just like a sporting team, you find likeminded, committed people who want the same outcome.Having attended the Hills Football Association’s open forum, I knew I could help to get the ball rolling. With discussions focussing on initially targeting lights for Mundaring, Chidlow and Gidgegannup, the football communities in those localities were also on board. I spoke with Paul Italiano, CEO of Western Power, regarding the idea of lighting these ovals and he offered to visit these sites to establish the requirements and logistics of the proposed improvements, a much appreciated input. In other words, he was on the team. I first met Paul following the tragic fires that razed Parkerville, Stoneville and Mount Helena in January 2014. Following those fires, Western Power not only promptly repaired and replaced damaged services, but brought forward works scheduled for later in 2014 to be implemented during those repairs in an effort to reduce service interruptions to those residents. Paul and the team at Western Power have worked hard to improve services throughout the hills and while further work is still required, I believe the amount of investment spent in the hills shows

Western Power’s commitment

to these

communities. With the selected ovals spread across both the Shire of Mundaring and the City of Swan, we needed some local input. I liaised with several local councillors from both entities who were keen to be involved too. On the 28th of October 2014 Paul and I visited Mundaring Recreation Centre, Gidgegannup Oval and Chidlow Oval along with (at various locations) representatives from junior and senior football

clubs, Swan Districts Football Club, and local Ward Councillors from the Shire of Mundaring and City of Swan to see this issue firsthand and gain Western Power’s valuable input on what infrastructure and logistics may be required for this project. The team was certainly coming together! The Chidlow Oval community were actually able to present a quote by a local contractor to establish a potential scope of works

for their particular concept – a great idea that really demonstrates the

community’s enthusiasm for the idea! I’ve raised this idea with the Premier, who has been a supporter of sporting communities in the hills and was pleased with his initial response. We have seen State Government funding of

$150,000 to Mount Helena Football Club at Elsie Austin Oval and $3 million to upgrade Mundaring Recreation

Centre. That said, it’s early days and as this

will require a considerable financial commitment, I am undertaking further

research to support the case for state funding. I would anticipate that this project

would be further enhanced by the combined municipality of the City of Swan (as of July

2015), whose support and assistance would be required for the successful provision and

upkeep of these facilities going into the future. Ensuring an equivalent standard of sporting facilities (when compared to other metropolitan electorates and country counterparts) for my hills constituents is a key priority for me, and something that I look forward to working more on over the coming months. There is certainly more work to do, but I believe the long term benefits will ensure my hills constituents have strong sporting communities for years to come.

9

Unit 8Vale Town Centre31 Egerton DriveAveley WA 6069

Phone: 9296 7688

Email: [email protected]

Your local Liberal East Metropolitan

Members of Parliament

Hon Helen Morton MLC

Ph: (08) 9452 8311Fax: (08) 9452 [email protected]

Hon Donna Faragher MLC


Hon Alyssa Hayden MLC


WESTERN AUSTRALIA

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NOTES FROM PARLIAMENTHON ALYSSA HAYDEN MLC

MeMber for eaSt Metropolitan region

PERTH GATEWAY WA PROJECT

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you will be able to get more information by scanning it with your smartphone, laptop or iPad. The relevant can be downloaded free from your App Store.

I accompanied my fellow State Members to meet our Federal

colleagues: the Assistant Minister for Infrastructure and Regional Development Hon Jamie Briggs MP, the Member for Swan Steve Irons MP and the Member for Hasluck Ken Wyatt MP. We revisited the Perth Gateway WA construction site to see the rapid progress taking place that is changing the shape of our road network. The project is being delivered by Gateway Alliance which comprises industry leaders of Leighton Contractors, Georgiou, GHD, AECOM and BG&E. The scope of works is all-encompassing and includes the construction of eleven bridges, 165 lane kilometres, twenty-one kilometres of Principal Shared Path and about seven kilometres of new noise abatement walls. There will be four major interchanges constructed at Tonkin-Leach Highway; Tonkin-Horrie Miller Drive-Kewdale Road; Leach-

Abernethy Road and Tonkin-Dunreath Drive. The existing interchange at Tonkin-Roe Highway will be upgraded with Tonkin widened to six lanes between Great Eastern and Roe Highways. Leach Highway between Tonkin

and Orrong Road will be upgraded to an expressway standard. There will also be new and upgraded entry points to Perth Airport. The main entry will be from a new extended Leach Highway and the existing Horrie Miller Drive entry will be upgraded. Construction has commenced on a tunnel at the Leach-Abernethy interchange where Leach will pass under Abernethy providing greater traffic flow on both busy roads without the need for signals. I accompanied the Transport Minister Hon Dean Nalder MLA, Nathan Morton MLA Member for Forrestfield, Glenys Godfrey MLA Member for Belmont and Gateway Alliance staff to the site of the tunnel.

The above photo shows the Leach-Abernethy interchange and tunnel under construction. This $1billion project has already reached its halfway point some six months ahead of schedule, mainly due to Perth’s great weather conditions, with completion now expected by mid-2016. Such good progress also means the project is under budget by about $45 million. This has a positive flow on effect with the surplus being diverted to another major upgrade project in the east metropolitan region at Roe Highway and Berkshire Road intersection in Forrestfield. With so many vital upgrade projects currently being undertaken in east metro, it is very pleasing to see Perth’s motorists being very tolerant of these significant road works, knowing full well the benefit it will bring in alleviating

congestion for road users once completed. The roads will also cater for the anticipated doubling of freight and container transport within the Kewdale Industrial Precinct. As always, keeping you in touch with my activities in the East Metropolitan Region.

10

CHILDREN’S FESTIVAL

VINTAGE, VETERAN & CLASSIC MOTOR SHOW

VINTAGE, RETRO & HANDCRAFT MARKET

SWAN ANTIQUE & COLLECTABLES FAIR

HISTORICAL EXHIBITIONS

VINTAGE CYCLES & MACHINERY

MUSIC, DANCE, FOODIES HUB

LOG CHOPPING, TRADE & CRAFT DEMOS

HERITAGE FESTIVALHERITAGE HERITAGE FESTIVALFESTIVAL

SUNDAY MARCH 29TH

9.30am – 4.00pm

CHILDREN’S FESTIVALCHILDREN’S FESTIVAL

STIRLING SQUARE, GUILDFORD

GUILDFORDGUILDFORDG ILDFORDUThe 2015

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GUILDFORD

Each year the Guildford Heritage Festival takes you on a journey

through the days of yesteryear with a novel glimpse into the arts, craft, cultural activities and daily living of a bygone era. The Festival is held in the picturesque grounds of historic Stirling Square on Saturday the 28th and Sunday the 29th March from 9:00am to 4:00pm. The Festival enables local associations and special interest groups to showcase the work they do within the community in conserving and highlighting the regions rich and diverse cultural heritage for the benefit of future generations. One does not know where to start with so much going on from the Vintage, Veteran & Classic Motor Show to displays of vintage tractors, machinery, and everyday tools to demos showcasing skills of the trades and hobbies of days gone by. With more than a hundred market stalls awaiting you with an eclectic, diverse array of the old and the new from vintage, retro, re-cycled, up-cycled and re-purposed goods to locally produced and handcrafted wares. The Children’s Festival features activities including, old fashioned games, circus activities, face painting along with free amusements, train and pony rides. Make sure to visit the Foodies Hub with tastes from around the globe, grab a bite to eat, settle yourself down to enjoy the sounds of some of Perth’s finest musicians with a mix of Celtic, blues, folk and county rock to popular music. There is plenty of parking available, or why not leave the car at home and jump on the train, hop off at the Guildford Train Station, then it’s only a three minute walk to Stirling Square.

EVENTS AND PERFORMERS The Broken Pokers While Traditional Irish music is enjoying a resurgence back in the ‘Old Country’, The Broken Pokers are leading the charge on Australian shores. Band founder and frontman, Irish-born Derrick Buckley has a clear vision of how he wants to present his take on his native songs and tunes, somehow delivering high-energy, innovative arrangements without compromising the purity and integrity that flows through that un-mistakable Celtic sound. Formed in mid-2012 in Galway, Ireland, Derrick’s plan for The Broken Pokers has always been about accessibility and entertainment, first and foremost and it shows! There’s no musical snobbery here, but you won’t find any “toora loora’s” or “skiddley-I’s” either; just real Irish music with all the trimmings

THE GUILDFORD HERITAGE FESTIVAL BROMWYN FACER

that any music lover can get his/her teeth into. After soaking up all the musical wealth the West of Ireland had to offer, it was off to Boston, Massachusetts for three months to see how they did it on the other side of the pond, collecting honorary “Pokers” all along the way. Since settling back in Perth in February 2014, Derrick has teamed up with some of the city’s brightest musical talents to continue his quest of giving Irish music a veritable boot up the backside. Derrick performed at 2014’s Festival and was by far, music wise, the attraction of the day and The Broken Pokers will be our feature performance of the day. Derrick moved to Western Australia from Ireland in 2001 and puts together the Irish Nights each Tuesday at the Woodbridge Hotel in Guildford. There is a different collaborative of musicians there each week from 7 -11pm His Facebook page may be found at http://facebook.com/thebrokenpokers

The Swan Antique, Retro and Collectables Fair This is run by the Swan Antique Group and for the fourth year now they are a welcome attraction within the Guildford Heritage Festival.

There will be collections including, silver, coins, stamps, glassware, records and books

The Progressive Axeman’s Association Of WA The members will be demonstrating throughout the day their many skills with the axe and other wood cutting tools. It has been said that the sport we now know as woodchopping originated as the result of a bet between two men in a bar in Ulverstone, Tasmania in 1870. Jack Biggs from

Warragul, Victoria and local man Joseph Smith had a wager for £25 to see who could fell a tree

the fastest. Many of the axemen of today still work within the timber industry, which is of course no longer reliant on manpower for harvesting. As the years have passed the sport has developed into a much more sophisticated affair

Derrick Buckley and The Broken Pokers

12

outgrowth of the Perth Muzzle Loading Club. The Club first started doing shows in 1985, then in 1987, just prior to the Australian Bicentennial Celebrations, the PMLC was approached to help in the celebrations. One of the club members wore a red jacket and was asked to lead the parade. The members realised there was a distinct lack of pomp and ceremony in Perth. It was decided then to reform the Perth Volunteer Rifles of 1862 with an Artillery Detachment and so evolved the Perth Volunteer Rifle and Artillery Regiment 1860 of today.

The Mad Tatters Morris Dancers “Mad Tatters Morris” dancers are women and men who perform traditional and vigorous dances from English villages along the Welsh border. The original idea was to scare away the marauding Welsh! They perform at community events in colourful “tatter coats”, dancing with sticks, bells and hankies accompanied by musicians playing melodeons, whistle and drum. If you want to see the sort

of dancing they do go along and watch at the Festival. The Guildford Heritage Festival is situated across the road from Stirling Square in the Guildford Town Hall, on the corner of Meadow and James Streets.

GUILDFORD

which includes, Underhand chopping, Standing Block Chopping, Treefelling, Single and Double handed Sawing and Axe throwing. The sport today is conducted in various forms (all very very similar) in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, USA, Wales, Ireland, England, and Spain. Australian axeman have a formidable reputation for being the best in the world at cutting hardwood. More information can be found on their website: http://paawa.com.au/

The Vintage, Veteran & Classic Motor Show A handsome display of automobiles pre and post-war, including Holdens, Fords, Austin Healys, Morrises,

C h e v r o l e t s , Triumphs, sports cars and motorcycles including a 1958 Plymouth Belvedere, considered to be the only all original vehicle known to exist from the 17,000 that were manufactured.

The Perth Volunteer Rifle and Artillery Regiment 1860 The PVRA is a Living-

History group that seeks to portray the military and social life of a volunteer soldier in Western Australia during the period 1860 to 1901. It was a period, following the departure of British troops, when men of all walks of life enrolled to defend the then Colony from perceived - and sometimes real threats, both

local and overseas. Their

displays feature the uniforms, kit, firearms and drill of the period. The Regiment began as an

13

FOOD IN GUILDFORD

THE LITTLE DELIDOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

The Thoughts of an Ageing, Balding Foodie

It is popularly supposed that one is getting old when the policemen start looking young.

I have passed the age when not only do police offciers look young but bank managers look as though they had recently graduated into long pants. I have no idea what it means when Deli owners look as though last week their major worry was getting their homework done in time. My best guess is that, in the case of Elizabeth from The Little Deli, that it means good things for Guildford. Elizabeth, who looks young because she is young in years, but is old in experience and knowledge. She is a fully qualified chef who has worked at Frasers and the Darlington Estate, Elizabeth started at nearly fourteen as a part-time dishwasher and by dint of dilligence and keenness earned an apprenticeship and then qualified. This is all the more remarkable as she has severe, almost crippling, dyslexia although she has honed her memory to near eidetic status. I’ll give you an example - I have been a food writer for six years longer than she has been alive and I love and know a fair bit about cheese - Elizabeth knows a hell of a lot more than I do. In fact she has made it her business to be intimately familiar with all the lines she sells in her tiny but immaculately clean delicatessen in James Street, Guildford. It has been open fewer than six months but already has a serviceable range of local and imported meats, cheeses, oils, jams, jellies, delicacies and treats. She even stocks something I have been looking for locally in vain for years - goose fat. As far as I know the only importer of goose fat in WA, and Lord knows, I’ve been looking. Goose fat is essential for the perfect roast potato.

But The Little Deli is more than just a deli offering some of the best, more unusual cheeses I’ve tasted. Elizabeth does her research and takes into account the fact that an increasing number of people are vegan, vegetarian, fruitarian or gluten

and lactose intolerant, so she caters for them as well with a range of foodstuffs to suit their needs. Her passion is local produce, so as quickly as possible she is sourcing locally providing the quality is not less than she already sells. Her imagination ranges far and wide - one of the better ideas being a ‘Picnic For Two’ hamper for $40 consisting of selection of meats, a fresh, crisp, bagette, a selection of antipasto (olives, sun-dried tomatoes and mushrooms), a selection of cheeses and suitable accompaniments (quince paste, nuts and dried fruit) together with a sweet treat and soft drinks. Give her two hours notice and you can take one of those to the riverside, open-air cinema or just eat out under the stars. One of the more enchanting things Elizabeth offers is a ‘cheese tasting’ of her wares. This is free and very well-thought out as she moves you from the mild and more familar through the more exotic to the blue vein strong-flavoured cheese. She has eshewed the standard Brie/Camembert/E d a m / G oud a / Chedd a r that you can pick up at any Coles or Woolies - these are some of her picks and recommendations. San Simón; This is a soft, smooth cow’s milk cheese

from Galacia that is smoked over fresh birch wood, lending it a tan color and alluring light smokiness, with a buttery, mild, fresh flavour. ($8.40 per 100g) Ziegenkase: This goat’s milk cheese from Amsterdam (pronounced ‘ZEE-gen-kah-sa’) is produced using traditional techniques and is aged in warm cellars for up to eight months. ($8.40 per 100g) Onetik Chebris: A firm mixed goat and sheep cheese from the Pyrenees. The flavor is sweet and delicate with hints of olive, hazelnut and fig. ($7.40 per 100g)Continued on page 14 ...

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GUILDFORD

Concluded from page 13... Shadows of Blue: A soft blue Australian cheese that is a favourite among non-blue cheese eaters because of its mild luscious texture and delicate flavour. A blind taste-test and you’d swear it was a rich Brie. ($6.50 per 100g) La Bouche D’Affinois: a very rich double-cream soft cheese made from cow’s milk from Lyon, France. It can be described as 40% fat-free and is rich, supple and delicious. ($8.20 per 100g) Fourme d’Ambert: is one of France’s oldest blue cheeses, and dates back to Roman times. It is hand-made from raw cow’s milk from the Auvergne region of France, with a distinct, light but complex flavour. Being hand-made the blue vein is spread through the cheese and does not emanate from wires poked through. ($7.00 per 100g) All of these will make fabulous solo eating or with fresh or dried fruit and the appropriate wine. You will notice that the prices are very moderate given the quality of the cheese and only slightly more than you would pay at a supermarket for a vastly inferior processed equivilent. This is by no means the whole of The Little Deli’s range of cheese but a tiny examplar. In fact, the range of the shop, given it’s size, is huge and well worth an exploratory visit. Do yourself a favour and visit Elizabeth and The Little Deli just have a chat about cheese and try one or two while you browse.

MEET A SPONSOR Annie, from Annie’s Vintage Wonderland, is one of this year’s sponsors of the Guildford Heritage Festival. Annie’s is the result of a hard working mothers dream to become more for her children and to turn hardship into good… that good is Annies Vintage Wonderland. From the moment you step into Wonderland you know you are somewhere special. Annie’s is a tactile experience, whose aim is to make customers feel at home. Set out like a house from the kitchen to the garage, memories will surround you. Come along and meet Annie at the Guildford Heritage Festival, where she will create another piece of wonderland for you to explore.

Annie’s Vintage WonderlandYour One Stop

Vintage Prop& Decor Shop

0430 456 586Shop 3/121 James St., Guildford

www.anniesvinatagewonderland.com

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GUILDFORD

GIFTS WITH PANACHESHANE ARMITAGE

The minute you walk in the door at Panache Living, your senses go into overload. There is

so much to take in. Panache really is the place where you can buy a new outfit from head to toe and a gift to take with you for yourself or someone special. Exquisite jewellery from Turkey, Israel and France, leather goods from Italy, hand looped

rugs from India and Australian designed and made fashion are just some of the delights on offer at Panache Living. Merchandise of distinction and style is sourced from around the world by local proprietors, Sue and Shane Armitage. Panache Living is truly a unique shopping experience in Guildford.

Because of the high turnover of these desirable goods, the photo depicts more the style and fashion of items available

BROCKMAN’S HOUSEOn December 1st, 1876, sixteen year old Grace

Bussell became the heroine of the SS Georgette shipwreck, on the coast near Yallingup. With her servant she repeatedly rode her horse into the surf to rescue around fifty people, many of whom may otherwise have drowned. She was awarded the Royal Human Society’s Silver Medal, and was voted a gold watch and chain by the British Parliament for her heroic efforts. In Guildford, Frederick Drake-Brockman, son of local pioneer, William, heard of the bravery of the ‘Grace Darling of the West’ and rode his horse the 270km south to meet her. The pair fell in love, married and moved into 143 James Street, Guildford. The original simple four room brick and iron dwelling was build around 1860, but was later added on to, including a significant expansion Mrs Frederick Drake-Brockman

Brockman’s House - line drawing currently owned by pHaccts and used with their kind permission

to accomodate Grace and Frederick’s seven children. Over the years, the house has had several incarnations, before being transformed in 1998 to office space for pHaccts accountants and business advisors (previously Peter Edwards & Associates), a business service company. Grace Bussell Drake-Brockman lived on in Guildford until her death in 1935 aged seventy-five. She is buried in Guildford’s cemetery.

16

GUILDFORD

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A public consultation period for a scheme amendment, to allow for multi storey

development on the rear of the Guildford Hotel site, started on the 9th February. City of Swan Mayor, Charlie Zannino, said the owners of the property had requested Council initiate the amendment to the City’s Local Planning Scheme No 17. “Council voted at its December meeting to initiate this amendment for public comment,” he said. “This is not the same as giving approval for the apartments. “Members of the public now have until March 26th to provide their comment in writing to the City. “The scheme amendment has also been referred to the State Heritage Office for comment.” The City will hold a public question and answer session at the Midland Town Hall on February 26th from 6.30pm to 8:00pm to allow any members of the public who need more information to ask questions of staff. Once the public comment period closes,

the City will have forty-two days to compile and review the submissions, and put a new report to Council. “Council will then consider whether to support or reject the amendment,” Mayor Zannino said. “This will then go to the Minister for Planning for a final decision. “If the scheme amendment is successful, this will mean the owners are able to apply to build units on the rear of the block but the plans for these apartments will also need approval.” “Copies of the plans and documents relating to this amendment are available for viewing at the City’s Administration Centre in Midland, at the City’s libraries and on the City’s website at www.swan.wa.gov.au/hotelamendment All submissions should be addressed to: Chief Executive Officer, City of Swan, PO Box 196, Midland 6936and quoting reference LPS17-121.

GUILDFORD HOTEL - HAVE YOUR SAYMEGAN DOLLING

The Swan Valley Information Bay, located on West Swan Road (opposite Lilac Hill Park) has

been refurbished with a new suite of information panels. City of Swan Mayor Charlie Zannino said the new panels highlight the history and features of the area, including Guildford. ‘The Visitor Centre Information Bay is such a useful tool for visitors and complements the seven day a week service offered by the Swan Valley Visitor Centre. The panels highlight more than 200 attractions in and around the Swan Valley and work well with the Swan Valley Food and Wine Trail Guide and Food and Wine Trail signage. Panel one includes information about the rich

history of the area, panel two, The Valley Today, showcases the Swan Valley as Western Australia’s most awarded wine region and focuses on the local vineyards and wines which are famous throughout the world. The third new panel highlights the amazing fresh produce available in the region throughout each season. The fourth panel provides information on suburbs surrounding the Swan Valley which may be of particular interest to visitors; Guildford, Bullsbrook, Midland and Gidgegannup. The information panels are complemented

by the Swan Valley Food and Wine Trail map and maps of Midland and Guildford. The number of visitors to the Swan Valley Visitor Centre has been breaking records. The

Swan Valley and Guildford has been experiencing continued growth and are welcoming more and more people into our region each year. The Visitor Centre had another record year in 2014 and serviced in excess of 530,000 enquiries. For more information about Guildford and the Swan Valley

please contact the Swan Valley Visitor Centre on 9379 9400 or visit www.swanvalley.com.au

17This page appears only in the digital issue

GUILDFORDGUILDFORD WALKS

Take a stroll through picturesque Guildford, established in 1829 and classified as an historic

town by the National Trust of Australia (WA). With its heritage buildings, unique history, antique stores, character pubs and village charm, Guildford is the ideal spot to spend a day or two.Unique shopping Be sure to visit the James Street antique strip, which offers one of the largest ranges of second-hand wares outside Perth. There’s also quaint home décor outlets, specialty gift shops, galleries, premium garden centres, chic furniture and clothing stores.

EATING OUT With several dining experiences to choose from, why not soak up the village atmosphere and visit one of the restaurants, pubs or cafés. Ranging from quaint tea rooms, an ice creamery, the iconic Alfred’s Kitchen and historic pubs to venues offering tapas, Thai, Vietnamese, Italian and modern Australian fare.

STAY A LITTLE LONGER To really make the most of your visit to Guildford, stay overnight or even longer at one of the many accommodation venues in the region. In Guildford, you can choose from bed and breakfast (B&B), lodge, self-contained or motel-style accommodation or a beautifully restored hotel where you can indulge in a luxurious heritage suite.

SELF GUIDED WALK TRAILS To really explore Guildford take your pick from four self-guided walk trails, each offering a history lesson, tales of colonial life and a rundown of the intriguing characters that have called Guildford home. As you walk, browse the many fine colonial buildings from the township’s earliest days which continue to grace the streets. An excellent collection of these can be found facing Stirling Square, which was modelled on a traditional English village green. To get started on your Guildford journey, collect a copy of the Historic Guildford Guide from the Swan Valley Visitor Centre Guildford Courthouse (c.1866), corner Meadow and Swan Streets, Guildford Open 7 days 9am-4pm (closed Christmas Day) Phone: 9379 9400 or download it from www.swanvalley.com.au.walks InforMatIon and Map Courtesy of swan Valley VIsItor Centre

18 This page appears only in the digital issue

COMMUNITY

ZONTA SWAN HILLSDOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

PO Box 381, Guildford WA 6935 Website: www.zontaswanhills.org.au Email: [email protected]

Zonta International is a global service organisation contributing to the advancement of women and promotion of justice, peace and human rights

Friday 6th March 2015

The Zonta Club of Swan Hills Inc invite you to come and enjoy an evening

of Celtic music—Irish and Scottish—ballads, traditional jigs and reels

at Romancing the Stone Amphitheatre 3 Lilian Road, Maida Vale

an outdoor venue. Chairs provided

Concert 7.30 pm—10.00 pm

Light supper provided. All tickets $25

Payment may be made by EFT: Zonta Club of Swan Hills

BSB: 066-115 Account No: 10460683 Please put surname and initial on deposit. Receipts on request

Phone: Nancy 0409 684 902, Faith 0427 805 197

Tom 9454 4298

or email [email protected]

Zonta International is a world wide organisation of women business executives working

together to advance the status of women through ‘service and advocacy’. The first Zonta Club was founded in Buffalo, New York, in 1919 by a group of businesswomen under the leadership of Marian de Forest. It was organized along the lines of the Rotary Club, with one woman from each business classification admitted to the local club. Within four years clubs had sprung up all over America and in 1930 the Confederation of Zonta Clubs was formed. Zonta has consultative status with the Council of Europe, the United Nations, ILO, and several UN agencies. Currently the headquarters of Zonta International is in Oak Brook, Illinois. The organization has more than 31,000 members in sixty-five countries. Australia has been part of Zonta International since 1966 and has grown to be home now to three Zonta International Districts. Together they incorporate 110 Zonta Clubs that are spread right across all States and Territories. The Zonta Club of Perth, founded in 1971, was the first Zonta club to be chartered in Western Australia.

The Swan Hills club is active in the aims of Zonta which contributes to the service projects and advocacy initiatives by which Zonta seeks to advance the status of women and girls everywhere. Clubs welcome support from and involvement with a wide variety of people and groups in their local communities. Meetings usually include dinner, fellowship, business and a presentation by a guest speaker. Zonta Club of Swan Hills meetings are held on the third Wednesday of each month at The Mallard Duck in Henley Brook. If you would like to know more about Zonta please contact our Club President Faith O’Brien by e-mailing: [email protected] or ring Ruth Thomas on 9272 9442.

One of the fund-raising events will be a concert by The Jarrah Celts at the Romancing the Stone Amphitheatre set in the middle of a beautiful hidden garden. The Jarrah Celts’s passion is for Celtic music - be it Irish or Scottish. They play ballads and traditional jigs and reels. They can be seen playing live at our local pubs and festivals around the foothills of Perth,

and you may have seen them play at the Balingup Medieval Carnival, Romancing the Stone Gardens, or the York Medieval Festival. All their music is live, using

acoustic instruments. At the event you will get a clear sound of their

Celtic instruments and they’ll talk a little about the stories behind the Celtic music.

The Jarrah Celts are also available for Weddings and Medieval Parties.

Tickets cost $25 and are available directly from Zonta Swan Hills.

An evening not to be missed.

Zonta Club of Swan Hills, Inc. members supporting the Birthing Kits Foundation (Australia) stall at Claremont show grounds last

year at the Pregnancy, Babies and Children expo.

The Jarrah Celts performing at the Romancing the Stone Amphitheatre in Maida Vale last year.


ART AND ARTISTSMAC RE-OPENS

CLARE STROUD

The Mundaring Arts Centre is re-opening after an extensive renovation and asbestos removal

programme. Happy to be presenting this latest exhibition in the new, safe, re-furbished gallery the curators are proud to present the latest in a series of Shire of Mundaring Art Acquisition exhibitions over the years this one, entitled In-material is driven by the concept of materiality leading content. Curator Ricky Arnold says: "As many university art courses around the country shift their focus in teaching contemporary art to the 'idea' and the 'concept', the skills for making seem to be becoming secondary." This exhibition is designed to showcase the work and thought of craft practitioners, masters of a wide range of craft materials such as leather, ceramic, emu egg carving, jewellery and textiles. Ricky Arnold again: "These artists are exemplars of the rich tradition of Western Australian craft practice. Their careers reach out into the world, their knowledge and skills are inspiring a new generation and they all continue to search for new outcomes and learnings to push

the boundaries of their making. It all begins in the intimate, in material." In-Material opens at the Mundaring Arts

Colour and texture in textiles - materials for workshops by Trudi Pollard and Katrina Virgona (Photograph by Richard Woldendorp)

Greg Crowe dip glazing a bowl (Photograph by Richard Woldendorp)

Centre, 7190 Great Eastern Highway, Mundaring on Friday the 13th of February, running until Sunday the 22nd March.

(L-R) Untitled, leather work by Tanija and Graham Carr (Photograph by Victor France); Banksia Leaf earrings (detail), copper, sterling silver by Jessica Jubb; Studio Work, Willem Heyneker, (Photograph by Richard Woldendorp) Go Away Black Dog, ceramics by Amanda Shelsher; Untitled, found textiles,

thread by Janie Matthews (Photograph by Richard Woldendorp)

Entry is free and the Gallery and Shop are open Tuesday-Friday 10am–5pm; Saturday-Sunday 11am–3pm (closed Mondays and Public Holidays) MAC is also offering a series of workshops and Meet The Makers seminars:

Friday 27 February10am-4pm Organic Indigo Dyeing and Shibori with Trudi PollardSunday 1 March

1-2pm Meet the Makers talk and demo with Trudi Pollard, Peggy Lyon, Katrina Virgona, Janie Matthews, Nalda Searles, Greg Crowe and Curator, Ricky ArnoldSunday 15 March0am-4pm 3D Textiles with Katriona VirgonaSunday 22 March1-2pm Meet the Makers talk and demo with Bethamy Linton, Julie-Ann Ogilvie, Jessica Jubb, Rozy Dann and Curator, Ricky Arnold.

20 This page appears only in the digital issue

BOOKS

KSP - WHAT’S ONANTHOLOGIE D’AMOUR LAUNCHSunday 15 February 5.00pm – 6.30pm The day after Valentine’s Day 2015 will see Western Australia’s first ever organised romance writers’ group launch their debut anthology. Anthologie d’amour is published by Red Witch Press and features a variety of love stories from eleven local women, some of whom are already established as published authors and some who are just beginning their journey. The group worked collaboratively for over a year to write, edit and produce the book, and have plans to format an e-book version. The group formed early in 2014 following sold-out workshops with historical romance author Anne Gracie and local author Nikki Logan. Logan, who was also the President of the Romance Writers of Australia at the time, encouraged the hills-based KSP Writers’ Centre to form a group focussing on Romance. ‘There’s obviously demand, and it’s not been done before,’ she said. KSP’s Chairperson Renee Hammond took up the challenge, and the Romance Writers Group was born. It has grown to become one of the biggest groups at the Centre. The anthology will be launched at KSP Writers’ Centre in Greenmount by best-selling rural romance author Rachael Johns and copies will be on sale on the day for $15 each. The group welcomes interested writers to attend the launch to find out more about the group and how they can be involved in the next anthology. Free to attend with drinks, canapés and giveaways on offer.

SWOONING AND SWEETNESS: WRITING ROMANCESunday 15th February 1:00pm - 4:00pm The biggest selling fiction genre in the world is romance, but most other genres also contain elements of romance. Want to incorporate the qualities that readers love in a romance novel into your book?

Join author Rachael Johns as she explores some of romance fiction’s best-loved tropes and features, and shows you how to use these to create characters and plots in mainstream fiction that will have your readers turning pages and reading late into the night. Rachael will also share some of the lessons she learned that she believes took her manuscripts from ‘ggod’ to ‘sold!’ $30 members, $45 non-members

SHORT STORY MASTER CLASSTuesday 24th February 6.30pm - 9.30pm Great short fiction requires any number of elements to be in place before it can be truly effective. Using exercise and examples from short story masters including Tobias Wolff and Jhumpa Lahiri, participants will explore more advanced elements in crafting quality (and ultimately, more publishable) short fiction. By the end, you will have a fresh perspective on your existing stories and indeed a greater understanding of what it takes to write truly compelling short fiction. $30 members, $45 non-members

BREAKING THE WRITING BLOCKSunday 8th March 1:00pm - 4:00pm This is a workshop for anyone who wants to begin writing or who has started and got stuck. Horst Kornberger offers a step-by-step process that helps writers recover artistic imagination. The imagination is born in stages during childhood and youth. When we revisit these stages through writing, we reconnect with the core capacities we need to bring our work into flow. $30 members, $45 non-members

ONLINE CREATIVITY COURSEFrom Monday 16th March, via email This fascinating three week online course with internationally best-selling author Valerie Parv leads you through three stages of story creation - nurturing the spark of your ideas; creating living, breathing people; and shaping your material to suit your writing goals. Included are step-by-step ways to access your creative brain and overcome blocks, with the option of submitting work for helpful feedback. Over the three modules, you’ll develop strong story ideas and people them with characters you can’t wait to write about.$100 KSP members, $150 non-members Booking and payment in advance to 9294 1872 / [email protected].

Red Witch Press cordially invites you to the launch of the

KSP Romance Writers debut book release

anthologie d’amour

Celebrate Valentine’s 2015 with this sweet, sassy and sombre collection of love

stories from a group of published and award-winning authors—and find out how

you can be in the next anthology

Sunday Sundowner15 February 2015

5.00 - 6.30pm at KSP Writers’ Centre

11 Old York Place, Greenmount WA

Featuring Special Guest Author

Rachael Johns to launch the book

Copies on sale for $15 each

Drinks, Canapés and Giveaways

RSVP essential to [email protected]

2015 sees the twentieth anniversary of the incorporation of Northern Writers’ Association

in 1995, which became the Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre in 1998 at Edith Cowan House. In celebration the Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre will be planning a number of writing activities and events over the course of this year. These events include a high tea for Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre members and friends and founding members that will take place on the anniversary date of 31st May 2015. Another will be a ‘continuous poem’ conducted on the Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre Facebook page from the 9th February through to the 28th March. The idea is that one participant will write one line of poetry and a second participant adds another line, a third the next and so on. There will also be a special anniversary ‘open genre’ competition and there will be an award for a short story based on Peter Cowan’s favourite landscape- the Australian outback. This will open on 11th July 2015 and close on 29th August 2015. August will also see a reading of a ten minute play based on a Peter Cowan story in partnership with Stages who will supply a dramaturge to assist our playwrights. Finally, there will be an invitation only dinner on the 30th October 2015 with founders, members, volunteers and Patrons of the Centre. We look forward to many members, friends, volunteers, founding members and Patrons participating in these e x c i t i n g events and activities. D e t a i l s will be posted, as they come, on w w w.p c w c .org.au.

20TH ANNIVERSARY


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The City of Swan presented six Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Awards to local groups

and individuals. City of Swan Mayor, Charlie Zannino, said that those awarded were truly deserving of such an honour for their community work. “As we have seen already this year, there are many people in our community willing to jump in and lend a hand during times of need, or to enhance life for others in the City of Swan, “Our winners this year have all gone above and beyond the norm, to use their skills and make a real difference, and we are thankful to have them in our community,” he said.

Joseph Norris - Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Award in the under 25 category. Joseph has been an outstanding leader for his school and an excellent role model for his peers at Ballajura Community College, he has made a significant contribution through his involvement as Ranger Sergeant of the Ballajura Community College Police Rangers and through his work with the RSL and local Rotary.

Sasha Richards - Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Award in the under 25 category. Sasha has made a significant contribution to the community through her work as a volunteer, a true humanitarian and huge contributor to her community, despite her young age. She has been a volunteer at the City of Swan Place Office, is a member of the Swan City Youth Choir and an advocate for children with a disability. Sasha is actively involved in many community groups including RSL, The Pines and Parkland retirement villages, Probus Club, Seniors Social Space and Ellenbrook Art, willingly giving of her time and expecting nothing in return.

David Eaton - Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Award For his work at the Midland Lawn Tennis Club. David has been involved in the management of the Junior Club for eleven years and has significantly promoted junior tennis providing a forum for the development of players. He has also been on the Midland Lawn Tennis

Club Executive Committee for fourteen years and the Club membership coordinator, contributing many hours to the benefit of local junior and senior players.’

Alan Rodgers - Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Award This award was given to recognise Alan’s work in Ellenbrook and surrounding areas in establishing the Ellenbrook Commemorative Memorial at the Woodlake Amphitheatre. Thanks to Alan’s relentless commitment and passion across nearly three years this memorial will stand as a tribute to our nation’s servicemen and women, enhancing the surrounding community for many years.’

Bullsbrook Volunteer Fire Service - Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Award for a Community Group The Volunteer Fire Services contribute massively to making the community safer and have moved strongly into fire prevention work to assist the community to prepare for and respond to bushfires. The group has worked hard through the Bushfire Ready program over a number of years to create opportunities for neighbours to meet, share ideas and develop support networks that are important during any emergency.

BINAR Sport - Premier’s Australia Day Active Citizenship Award for a Community Group ‘The work of BINAR Sport was making a difference to the lives of disadvantaged young people every day. The award acknowledges the work of BINAR Sport in engaging a large number of young people in need and providing programs such as structured basketball teams, to build on their strengths. BINAR Sport has developed rapidly in the past two years, with a team of six young men currently playing a leadership role to fifty members ranging in age from nine to eighteen years. [The Publisher, Editor and Staff of the Swan Magazine congratulate the winners and acknowledge the tremendous work they and other volunteers like them do in the community.]

22

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BICKLEY VALLEY ARTISAN EXPERIENCECOMMUNITY

After many years of enjoying photography as a hobby, 2014 saw Claire Marshall commit to a career in the field that has brought her joy and pleasure for so long. Claire has been inspired by the best that nature and the human

race has to offer to capture lasting images of the life and world around her. As Claire begins this new venture, she invites you to join her in developing and

growing her dream by allowing her to capture yours. Claire is a photographer with a portable studio so she can either come to you or you can go to her!

Claire takes photos of Theatre (Stage), Family Portraits, Weddings, Actor Head Shots, Children Portraits, Portraits Including Pets, Boudoir!

Claire will edit the photos to how you would like them, all photos will come on a USB Stick or a CD-Rom Disc, you can have your photos printed if you

wanted, all photo shoots come with hair and makeup!

A good many people drive past, or perhaps stop at the cellar door and while sampling the

wares wonder what goes on behind the scenes. Now you have the opportunity to do just that - peek behind the cellar door, talk to the wine-makers, learn the significance and reasoning behind Baumes, Brix and Terroir (a French term that literally translated means: earth, or soil. In a larger context, terroir as the specificity of place, which includes not only the soil in a region, but also the climate, the weather, the aspect of the vineyards and anything else that can possibly differentiate one piece of land from another.) You can join in a full day guided tour of three major Bickley Valley producers - MyattsField Vineyards, Core Cider House and Fairbrossen. You get to speak with the wine and cider makers, graze on delicious morsels, taste the delectable wines and ciders produced on the premises by three cutting edge producers. Josh Davenports from MyattsField winemaker says that when to pick may be the most important decision in the winemaking process. Listen to him in his office, the vineyard, to learn just what parameters a winemaker looks for in his winegrapes to produce specific wine styles. Taste a selection of varieties, discover the unique characters of each before having a sneak peak at some of this vintages fermenting juices. Finish the day with samples of the end products paired with delicious cheeses and home-made delights. Then on to Core Cider House and an examination and tasting of the cider styles made from the freshest apples and pears harvested from the seventy-five year old family farm.

Enjoy a tour of the orchard then fire up the crusher and vintage basket press to start the next batch of ciders from this year’s harvest. Finish your experience in the Cider Shed with some bottling of Hard Core cider to take home. Your day is not complete without enjoying some delicious morsels prepared by Chef Duane, carefully matched to a full range of cider samples. Winemaker Matt Bowness st Fairbrossen will give

you for a ‘hands-on’ look at red winemaking. An artisan wine requires as much ‘touch, feel and taste’ decision making, as it does understanding the chemistry of wine science. Tour the winery, get up close and personal with the fermenting red wines of the 2015 harvest, then enjoy fresh seasonal produce from our kitchen. The Bickley Valley Artisan Experience takes place on Saturday 14th March from 9.30am and finishes at 4.00pm. Tickets cost $175 and are only available online on the MyattsField website. The tour includes pick up from one of the venues, transport between the venues in an air-conditioned bus, exclusive gifts and discounts on produce and return transport to your original start point. Places are severely ,imited, so don’t delay.

0421 113 620Wednesday ~ Sundayand Public Holidays 10:00am and 4:00pmEntry by donationAll museum profits to Princess Margaret Hospital

The Golly Emporiumand Toy Museum

The Old Stationmaster’s House61 Stirling Terrace, Toodyay

Gollies, Giftware, HomewaresCoffee, Devonshire Teas

High Teas

24

EDUCATION

25

Thanks to the generous donation of a set of new Trax vehicle recovery aids, the Darlington

Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade is now better equipped to remain an effective fire fighting force within the community. The set of six Trax ramps were kindly donated by Mr Ryan Mumford, of Mumford’s Customs, and are valued at nearly $500. The plastic ramps are designed to be placed under the wheels of bogged vehicles, to help them to be driven out without assistance. The Darlington VBFB Captain, Chris Kendrick, said “When appliances get stuck it can put crews at risk, as well as removing trucks and machinery from the fire fighting effort. These Trax will increase crew safety and reduce down time.” The Darlington Brigade, like all of its Shire of Mundaring counterparts, have been busy over the Christmas and New Year periods assisting at fires in Toodyay, Bailup, Bullsbrook and Ellenbrook, along with fires in their own districts. The donation of the Trax ramps will contribute to the continuing preparedness, safety, efficiency and commitment of the Darlington Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade members within the community.

COMMUNITY

L-R, Chris Kendrick - Darlington VBFB Captain, Ryan Mumford – Mumford’s Customs, Eric Baldock – Darlington VBFB 1st Lieutenant

NEW RECOVERY GEAR KEEPS BRIGADE ON TRACKRICKY HARVEY

ROBERT JUNIPER AWARDMAUREEN DE LA HARPE

Musician Sam Wylde and visual artist Joanna Meredith were awarded arts scholarships at a

ceremony hosted by the Mundaring Bicentennial Scholarship Trust. Winning the prestigious $9000 Robert Juniper Award for the Arts for 2014 was Sam Wylde, of Glen Forrest, who is currently completing a Bachelor of Music, majoring in composition and music technology at the WA Academy of Performing Arts. Sam describes his music as ‘a bit of everything really – singer-songwriter, performance-based, alternative folk, ambient rock, and orchestral music for film scores.’ He confides he is happiest as a singer-songwriter who enjoys performing his own compositions. He hails from a musical family, being one of five siblings who all play an instrument. Although a relatively late starter – he began playing bass guitar at twelve – he then focused seriously on music, taking up piano as well. After having to record his compositions at home using basic equipment, Sam is excited by the possibilities opened up by his award, as the money will enable him to do a more professional job of recording, mixing, mastering and marketing a new EP. ‘It will be awesome to get into a proper studio, and be able to make a music video for the

lead single – with a director I’ve worked with on

film music,’ he explained. The $1000 Bob and Trish Juniper Visual Art Award for 2014 was won by Joanna Meredith,

whose love of art is matched by her love for dance – a dual passion that is reflected in her work. Jo, who grew up in Darlington, was drawing and dancing at three, learning ballet, jazz and contemporary dance with Irene Asatoff. ‘Contemporary dance is my real love,’ Jo declares. ‘It has conversations with my art.’ Graduating with a BA (Fine Arts) from UWA,

and keen to develop greater technical skill as an artist, Jo backpacked around Europe for six months, spending time in Florence and Salisbury, UK, studying a technique known as ‘sight-size’, where the emphasis is on attaining a high level of realism. She recently gave up other work to focus full-time on her art. Jo’s award will assist her to return to England later this year to continue her art studies. The Robert Juniper Award for the Arts is presented annually by the Mundaring Bicentennial Scholarship Trust, along with the Bob and Trish Juniper Visual Art Prize.

Joanna Meredith with her portait of her father Bruce Meredith

Musician Sam Wylde

26

ENTERTAINMENT

Deceit, treachery, sibling rivalry, greed and lust

The fourth child of a monarch seldom had life easy in the Middle

Ages - Henry Beauclerc was the fourth son of Duke William the Bastard of Normandy, later to be known as William the Conquerer after he made good. Award-winning Perth playwright C. Aspden Pomfret was researching a play, 1066, when the idea occured to him that the invasion of England was three kings vying for the same throne, and yet j u s t over

twenty y e a r s later his three sons would be squabbling over the throne left empty by William's death. Kalamunda Dramatic Society is proud to present the result of Pomfret's thinking in their first show of 2015, The First Henry, directed by the author, Carl

Pomfret. The First Henry is fortunate to have attracted a strong and experienced cast Rodney van Groningen (A Midsummer Night's Dream), Joe Isaia (Macbeth), John Pomfret, Keith Scrivens (My Fair Lady) and Kim Taylor. Carl says: "Instead of portraying battle scenes The First Henry delves into

the minds of each brother and their personal lives, revealing how much their father may have

influenced the men they have become." The First Henry runs from Friday February the 13th to Saturday the 7th of March at the KADS Theatre, Barber Street, Kalamunda. Curtain up at 8:00pm. Tickets cost $20 for week nights. Saturdays cost $30, including a fish and chip supper. Bookings may be made by ringing the Lucky Charm Newsagent, Kalamunda Central on 9257 2668. For discounted group bookings – call Terry Hackett on 9293 4746.

Warning: This show contains adult themes and strong language.

THE FIRST HENRYDOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

King Henry I of England, artist unknown (Photograph courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

THE HOKEY-POKEYWILLIAM SHAKESPEARE*

O proud left foot, that ventures quick withinThen soon upon a backward

journey litheAnon, once more the gesture, then begin:Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.

Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.To spin! A wilde release from Heaven's yoke.Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.

The Hoke, the poke - banish now thy doubtVerily. I say, 'tis what it's all about.

*No, not really.

POETRY

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ENTERTAINMENTKOOKABURRA CINEMA

LINDSAY MORRIS

Hector & The Search For Happiness (M) February, Friday 13th, Saturday 14th & Sunday 15thUK & Canada. Comedy.Starring: Simon Pegg & Rosamund Pike. After a career of years of sorting out other peoples’ problems a London psychiatrist realises that he has no idea of what happiness REALLY means. With no real life experiences himself he sets out on a worldwide journey asking of others what it is that makes them happy with some hilarious discoveries along the way. His wife is less than impressed being left on her own while he wanders about the world.

A Thousand Times Goodnight (M) February, Fri 20th, Sat 21st & Sun 22ndNorway & Ireland. Drama.Starring: Juliet Binoche & Nikolaj Coster-Waldu. Rebecca (Binoche) is a top war photographer and on assignment in Kabual she gets too close to a female suicide bomber and is badly hurt. Her husband and daughters can no longer bear the thought of her dying far from them whilst on assignment and issue her an ultimatum

- her work or her family. The choice appears obvious and the family tensions mount. A top class performance by Binoche in this modern day drama.

PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (PG) February, Friday 27th Screens in 3DFebruary Saturday 28th March, Sunday 1st USA. Animated Comedy. The crazy Penguins are at it again in this madcap comedy where they join forces with an undercover group, The North Wind, to stop villainous Dr. Octavius Brine from destroying the world.

The Imitation Game (M) March, Friday 6th, Saturday 7th & Sunday 8thUK. WWII Drama. Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Rory Kinnear, Charles Dance & Mark Strong The riveting story of English maths wizard Alan Turing cracking the German Enigma Code estimated to have saved fourteen million lives and shortened the war by some two years. Intriguing.

Programming is now so much easier since the digital system has effectively removed the

impediment of the past, that when using 35mm film one had a to have a physical copy of the film to screen it. Ensuring that there were enough prints to go around was a real headache for all distributors and exhibitors alike. Now, once a cinema has a copy of the movie loaded into their server/s the hard drive is returned and others can utilise the title thus you will notice that many titles listed here are only very recently on complex screens or as yet have not even been released.

This season there were simply not enough weeks in the season to be able to screen as many as possible of the popular requests. Maybe next season when it reverts once again to a season of around twenty-two weeks there will be time to cram a few more movies into the program. Thank you one and all for your fantastic support and patience whilst we converted the site … it has been worth it in the end and attendances have been stunning these first few weeks so we, all the staff at Kookaburra, have big grins on our faces right now.

FEBRUARY PROGRAMME

Wherever you see this symbol

you will be able to get more information by scanning it with your smartphone, laptop or iPad. The relevant can be downloaded free from your App Store.


28

slightly that it’s impossible to detect any change with the naked eye -- or by modern automated security systems. So check the fine print of your anti-virus and see if it’s steganography-enabled. I’m willing to bet it won’t be… Mine is and that’s one of the many other reasons I bought it. Ask Mr Google nicely and he’ll show you security software for home users that can detect infected image, sound and video files.

IMPORTANT WINDOWS 7 NEWS On 13 January 2015, Windows 7 began the final countdown with the official end of mainstream support. That simply means that Microsoft will no longer offer free updates to the operating system. Windows 7 has now entered its extended-support phase. That means that until January 2020, Microsoft will continue to offer essential fixes and security updates. So hang on to your PC. W7 is by no means dead yet! There are still five years of useful life ahead! In fact, W7 will continue to work well after 2020 because your W7 licence has no particular deadline. However, (as we know with XP), once extended support ends, the operating system will continue to work, but it immediately becomes extremely vulnerable to new malware and exploits. At that point you really should stop using it online. But by then Windows 13, 14 or whatever is the latest and greatest (huh!) will be the default OS and that will attract W7 refugees. At that point I will have finished with Microsoft as I plan to switch from my current W7 to Linux. That’s if I’m still alive.

SECURITY SNIPPETS Be aware that Microsoft warns us that hackers are using e-mail to phish for users to turn on the macro features in Microsoft Office so they can then install malware onto your computer. PClock, a copycat of the infamous ransomware

Cryptolocker, prompts users to pay 1 bitcoin (approximately USD$300) ransom within seventy-two hours after all their files are encrypted. I hope you don’t get snared by either of these in this new year.

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Je suis Charlie. Nous sommes Charlie. A bas les terroristes!

How I cheered when I discovered that Anonymous, the world’s largest hackers’

group, has condemned the January attacks on Charlie Hebdo in Paris. And I cheered even louder when Anonymous promised the world to track online activity, close social media accounts and jihadist websites of terrorists, plus do everything else in their power to shut terrorists down online. That is a significant promise. And one they’re quite capable of doing. Their past track record clearly demonstrates their impressive collective hacking expertise. Until now, they have worn black hats. Anonymous has caused digital mayhem because of the relative ease with which they have penetrated all manner of highly protected sites, and caused disruption and chaos with a range of attacks. But their collective outrage over terrorists’ activities indicates the black hats have been replaced with the more socially acceptable white hats – for the time being, at least. Let’s hope their deeds match their promises. If the terrorists are basically denied the internet it will make life a lot harder for them when planning and communicating.

IT LOOKS INNOCENT ENOUGH… A picture is supposedly worth 1000 words. But did you know that some of today’s online pictures can actually contain not only words, but also heavy-duty malware? Silent attacks can be unleashed when you click on innocent-looking jpeg images. And not just photos and other graphics files can contain hidden payloads intended to do you harm -- also audio and video files. Yes, deliberately infected photos, music and films are out there! Hackers and virus writers are using the ancient art of steganography; a technique that traces back to the fifth century king of Sparta, Demaratus. To warn of a pending attack by the Greeks he wrote on a wooden tablet which was then covered with the beeswax normally used to inscribe text. Since then steganography in far more sophisticated forms has been used by

governments, spies and anyone else wanting to keep conversations private and hidden. The internet has, of course, opened up wonderful opportunities for the ungodly. For them, steganography involves the manipulation of images, video and audio so as to embed hidden code. Digital technology has made it so much easier to hide messages; it’s made it a lot harder to discover that message. There are a few legitimate uses of steganography in the private and public sectors. Digital copywriting and the protection of intellectual property are two that easily come to mind. Sadly, however, steganography is mainly used for illegal purposes by criminals and other misfits. Today it’s even used by terrorists for communication, and by child porn merchants for spreading their nastiness Virus writers use this black art to bypass conventional anti-virus scanners. That’s because images can be altered so

29

DOES DEFLATION HAVE AN UPSIDE?STEVE BLIZARD

FINANCE

MCC

GREAT START TO 2015GEOFF FRANCIS

preSident, Mundaring ChaMber of CoMMerCe

Deflation is defined as a general fall in the prices of goods and services.

From media coverage one could easily derive the notion that deflation is some sort of insidious disease. But is deflation really that bad? Platinum Asset Management fund manager, Kerr Neilson, says in his latest investor report, “There have been historical precedents of long periods of stable prices with wave-like tendencies, which differ in amplitude and duration with no periodicity”. Neilson backs his case by referring to David Hackett Fischer’s book, The Great Wave: Price Revolutions and the Rhythm of History. Fischer, who is Earl Warren Professor of History at the Brandeis University, Massachusetts, points to four great waves of inflation since the late Middle Ages (1200CE). He calls them price revolutions that occurred in the Middle Ages, followed by the 16th, 18th, and 19th centuries. The first three waves were followed by a protracted period of price stability. These revolutions were associated with declining real incomes, social instability and insecurity. By contrast, the periods of price stability saw interest rates progressively falling and spawned the Renaissance, the Enlightenment and the great Industrialisation surge of the Victorian era. The most interesting and perhaps relevant period was the 19th Century. Here we saw real wages rising threefold and interest rates more than halving from between four and six percent to two and three percent in the Netherlands, France, Britain and the United States. Rents expressed as a percentage of sale prices of land were relatively flat while share prices compounded upwards by four to 5.5 percent annually in markets such as the United States, Great Britain and France. To ardent “monetarists”, who argue that excessive expansion of the money supply is inherently inflationary, it may also come as a surprise that two of these waves of stable prices were accompanied by large injections of

additional money in the form of precious metal discoveries. Fischer notes that the most intriguing point was that the supply of gold and silver grew dramatically, sixfold, in the US from 1830 to 1850, while world gold and silver output rose tenfold over that century. During the American Civil War, prices escalated and subsequently fell, thereby completing a century of flat prices. The point is that the scare of flat or falling prices is normally misplaced as it reflects improved purchasing power of consumers due to higher real incomes. Therefore, Kerr Neilson is not convinced by those who buy into the argument that deflation leads to deferment of consumption. Neilson questions the nexus between central banks and their governments, which seems to lead to over-dependence on monetary policy. In other words, there is an expectation for Central Banks to over-react to price stability in order to placate popular demands, so as to be seen to be doing something. Neilson’s view is that the excess supply of most commodities combined with begrudging lending policies by the banks and a general reluctance to borrow by firms and individuals leads to weak prices and low inflation. However, the hunger for yield has persuaded investors to take more risks. By forcing down yields, central banks have encouraged a narrowing of the risk premium paid between good quality and lower quality borrowers. With the policy of Central Banks buying part of the outstanding stock of their government bonds and thus increasing the level of liquidity within their system, via quantitative easing (QE), for the most part this has been a redistributive exercise. The transfer of wealth is from those holding paper assets to those with real assets such as shares and property. With inflationary risks continuing to fade, the central banks of Canada, Norway, India, Denmark, Sweden and Switzerland have all cut their interest rates since the beginning of December.

The decision by of Australia’s Reserve Bank to lower the cash rate by 25 basis points, to 2.25 percent from the 4th February will further draw investors to equities, away from term deposits that offer negligible returns. Those with paper assets are experiencing a net loss in wealth with their purchasing power, as measured by a basket of currencies, having fallen. Things have grown so dire for European depositors that some are now paying banks a fee to hold their cash at no interest, otherwise known as a Nil Interest Rate Policy (NIRP). Yet home buyers are celebrating because for the first time ever, a Danish mortgage bank, Nordea Kredit, has issued a home loan with a negative interest rate. After fees, their borrowers are paying close to zero interest rates. Neilson says there is still a great deal of caution which is contributing to slow growth, but ironically he suggests there is less risk than is perceived.Courtesy of roxburgh seCurItIes

The new year is off to a great start for the Mundaring Chamber of Commerce.

The committee with the able assistance of Rachael, our administrator, have organised a series of events for the first quarter. February 18th is our first Sundowner at the Stoneville shopping centre. Hosted by three members; Gold Manor Designs, Curry Hill and Salon Allure.In March we have a very interesting speaker at

our Business Breakfast on Wednesday the 18th March. This will be of particular interest to retail members as the subject is "Marketing, Branding and Consumer Psychology" The Speaker, is Glenys Marsden, well known presenter and Author of The Customer's Voice Members and Non Members all welcome. Please book. We are also delighted to announce Bendigo Bank Mundaring as a Major sponsor for the year. In conjunction with Bendigo, our administration will now be at an easily accessible office just two doors down from the Bendigo Bank on Great Eastern Highway. The Mundaring Chamber has several projects lined up over the next twelve months, so if you are in small business in the hills, please join us for these and other events to get good information and meet your fellow business operators in this area. Contact Rachael on 0409 293 441 or e-mail her on [email protected].

30

SOLVINGCOMMON

RELATIONSHIPPROBLEMS

GLENNYS MARSDON

LITERARY

The IdlerThe Idle Thoughts of an Idle Mind

Last week as I drove up Greenmount hill I saw a possible solution to two common relationship

problems, back seat driving and impatient children. Taken further it could even help address man’s aversion to counselling. Could it be that simple? You’ve cancelled the paper, turned off the iron, and packed the car with an array of sporting paraphernalia. All is in readiness for a two week holiday with the family. The journey begins as you’d imagined a happy wife by your side and two excited children restrained by seatbelts behind you. Then you hear it. ‘How much longer Dad?’ A grating refrain that will take on various tones throughout the remaining 500 kilometre trip to Albany. That, combined with disputes about who hit whom, who’s taking up more of the backseat, and who suddenly regrets performing twenty princess twirls after inhaling a chocolate milkshake, have you questioning why your family holidays never look like the images beckoning from the travel websites. Half an hour in you stop at a set of traffic lights on a three lane highway at the outskirts of Perth. Looking to your left an elderly couple sits facing forward in their immaculately maintained blue Corolla. The older gentleman turns to face

you and for a moment his world-weary face forms the faintest smile. His wife seems to be saying something to him while holding up a map and pointing insistently to the right. It’s clear the gentleman has taken a wrong turn somewhere, perhaps when he turned left and entered the church fifty-six years ago. In the lane to your right is a young couple in a black BMW sports car. Top down, Cold Chisel blaring, both looking in different directions. How simple their life looks. The girlfriend leans forward and yells to her artistically tattooed companion. ‘What’s wrong with pre-marriage counselling Steve? The Vogue article said the divorce rate’s one in two now. Benny and Jewel said it helped them sort out all kinds of stuff.’ ‘I’ve already told ya Tracey. When I fly back to the mine next week I’ll leave ya my credit card, go buy the most expensive fluffy dress there is, hire a massive marque, buy some booze and invite all our mates. ‘A big party and we’re married, done. Do whatever you want but I’m not gonna pay some bloke to tell me to buy ya flowers every week.’ As Steve finishes his sentence he looks at you and you realise you’re not the only one trapped in a steel box with no escape. When the lights change you set off dreaming of the Elite Man Cave you’d read about in the morning paper. A navy blue and shiny chrome caravan decked out with a fifty-five inch pop-up television, four fridges, a sound system with sixteen speakers, leather seating for ten mates, a poker table, slide out BBQ, and a beer keg dispenser. At $50,000 you start doing the maths, ten mates, $5,000 each, it could almost work. ‘Tulla keeps leaning on me,’ screeches number two child. As the dream evaporates the car in front of you changes lanes and you see it, the solution to everything. A Ford Ute, white, two doors with a large tray back, the kind you’ve seen outside lots of building sites. But instead of paint pots the tray houses two large faded leather recliner rockers looking at each other. The scuff marks on the brown leather suggest they’d been the keeper of many stories over the years. You look in the rearview mirror at your

children still fighting, and imagine relegating them to the leather chairs, strapped in by seatbelts obviously, you wouldn’t want to be considered a negligent parent. As the Corolla moves up next to you the older gentleman beams, clearly dreaming of relocating his ‘back seat driver’ literally to the back seat. But what about Steve? The inverse proportion of men attending counselling services has been well documented, and you’ve also read that men account for three in four suicide deaths. But what if the sessions were held in a place where men could feel more comfortable? Somewhere where even the most manly of men would feel safe uncovering their latent desire for macaroon making. Could that help you ponder? What if relationship counselling could be combined with a spot of fishing or pig shooting off the back of a 4WD? If car manufacturers could design a Mobile Man Cave why not a mobile counselling service? ‘Murray’s Mobile Counselling Service’, you ponder, ‘fishing poles, rifles and pig guts cost extra’. Your clients could even ask for help from any Harley Davidson mates who pull up at the traffic lights. You smile for the first time in 300 kilometres and the ear piercing scream from the backseat sounds like a distant lullaby. Was this it? Finally your chance to make millions? You’d be able to buy all of your mates an Elite Man Cave each. You’d be … a hero. ‘You did check the directions didn’t you Murray?’ your wife asks and without waiting for your reply adds, ‘just as well I printed them off then.’ You don’t reply, too busy accepting your Nobel Peace Prize for services to mankind.

My colleague and I were eating our lunch, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

31

HOME OF THE MONTH8 COONGAN AVE, GREENMOUNT

NADIA SORGENTANO

This month’s home has been lovingly redecorated and painted before being

presented for sale. It’s a charming, cosy weatherboard home in the federation style of a long, low bungalow ideal for the Australian climate. The home has a zinc roof with newly replaced guttering and is set on a generous “off street front” 1012 sqm block The whole house has been freshly painted walls including the cornices, a truly lovely matching colour scheme of neutral tones that will appeal and will suit any decor that you choose. There are three bedrooms with French style windows with new cedar blinds, light fittings and carpets. There are built-in wardrobes in all bedrooms with the main having a double-mirrored wardrobe. The whole house has ducted air conditioning throughout. There is a good size bathroom, fresh and clean, with a modern appearance with new vanity and tap ware. The modern laundry also has new tub and tap ware. The kitchen has plenty of counter space f o r working, a gas hob and a beautiful French bay window that look out to into the gardens. The kitchen/dining area is on the open plan scheme. The lounge room is elegant and charming, with almost the whole of one wall a range of French bay windows, again with more beautiful nature views. As for security, there are window locks and a front security screen door. The hot water system has recently replaced and the fully landscaped gardens are entirely reticulated so that

you can relax and enjoy the view. The home is close to Greenmount Library, Greenmount Primary, St Anthony School, a beautiful Heritage Walking/Cycle track and is a very easy drive to Midland Gate Shopping Centre as well as having easy access to public transport.

This delightful house is for sale and if you are at all interested in having a look

or finding out more about this delightful home, you should get in contact with the

representative, Nadia Sorgentano and arrange a viewing.

Courtesy of de haan realty

32

PETS

FERRETS AS PETS

The first thing to realise is that almost everything you think you know about ferrets is wrong.

They are not rodents, they are not wild animals, they are not smelly, vicious or unsociable. In fact the exact opposite is true. They are playful, active, intelligent, mischievous members of the weasel family, which also includes otters. It is believed by many breeders that the ancient Egyptians first domesticated ferrets to catch rodents. They were introduced into Australia by the early settlers for the same reason and later for catching rabbits. Ferrets are a wholly domesticated species. Apart from those few that escape and manage to survive in the wild, the ferret has become accustomed to, and reliant on, humans. In fact their mental and physical well-being depends on human attention and inter-action. They make excellent pets for people who have the time for them, and who bond well with animals. Ferrets are naturally quiet, friendly, inquisitive, intelligent, and companionable. At certain points in the day, they are also exceedingly active and capable of getting themselves into trouble unless they are supervised. The purchase price of a ferret can vary widely, ranging from $80 to $150 on Gumtree. Obviously more from Pet Shops or desirable breeders. But the purchase is only part of your initial cost. In addition to the purchase price, you can expect to pay another $150 to $300 for vaccinations, veterinary costs and basic supplies. You will also need to budget for spaying or neutering your new pet, so check with your veterinarian for costs before making your purchase decision. Your ferret will, of course, need food, plus you will need to regularly buy litter, deodourising cleaners, over-the-counter medicines including hairball remedies, and vitamin supplements, shampoos, collars and leads, etc. You must recognise that a ferret behaves differently from a dog, cat, or other pet. Ferrets are not recommended for a household with children younger than six or seven years and especially close supervision would be required around infants or babies. Because they are natural hunters, ferrets usually can't be trained to get along with birds, fish, rabbits, rodents, or lizards. If you have these animals in your home, you will need to provide vigilant supervision at all times. But ferrets can generally be trained to get along with cats and dogs. Note, however, that terriers and similar dogs were originally bred to hunt. If you have a dog or cat, you will want to introduce them to your ferret gradually, and vice versa. No matter how well your pets seem to get along, you will want to be sure to continue to provide supervision when they are together. Feed them separately and be certain that you don't allow your ferret to play with your other animal's toys. Ferrets must be taught not to nip or bite, much the same way that kittens and puppies are taught

what behavior is appropriate. A domestically bred ferret will usually not be vicious or aggressive, but it is in its nature to enjoy games that simulate hunting, tug-of-war, chasing, or mock combat. Because ferrets retain a lot of wild tendencies, they require affection, care, and understanding. Without the necessary time, patience, or knowledge of a ferret's needs, unfortunately some people do get into trouble with discipline. As a result, ferrets are neglected or even abused, and then given away or resold. Most of the older ferrets that you encounter when searching for your new pet will not fall into this category. If you are not able to devote the added time and energy required for raising a kit, adopting or rescuing an older animal may be the perfect solution. Just be careful to understand why it is being given away or how it came to be abandoned, and be doubly certain that you will be able to give it a good environment. If you wish to get a kit, for most people, the ideal age kit will be between eight to sixteen weeks, although they are often sold as young as six weeks old. A kit less than eight weeks is not really old enough to leave its mother and siblings, and it is best to wait until they are twelve weeks old. A kit, while requiring more time, training, and patience than a mature ferret, will reward you with added playfulness and adaptability; and you

v Male ferrets are called hobs; female ferrets are jills. v A spayed female is a sprite, a neutered male is a gib, and a vasectomised male is known as a hoblet. v Ferrets under one year old are known as kits. v A group of ferrets is known as a "busyness"

will have the joy of watching it grow. While the color, age, or gender of a ferret may not matter, the health of your new pet does matter. You need to be sure that it is in the best of health. The key to judging a healthy ferret is in its behavior and general appearance. A healthy ferret should be playful, alert, and curious. Its eyes should be bright, its ears should be erect, and its movements should be smooth and supple. There should be no discharge from its ears, nose, mouth, eyes and its ears, mouth, and pads should be pink and clean. In addition to litter training, you will want to take some additional precautions for your ferret's safety and for the safety of your home and possessions. Because of their curiosity and energy as well as their physiology, ferrets can-and do-squeeze into very small spaces. Depending on the size of your ferret (hobs are about twice as big as jills), you will want to be certain to block all holes over 15mm x 30mm. Be extra careful to safeguard the contents of drawers and cabinets to prevent your ferret from opening them, and to keep medicines, soaps, cleaners, etc. safely out of your ferret's reach. Be wary of your ferret with houseplants. Many plants are dangerous, toxic, or deadly, and you should check every plant in your home for safety before allowing your ferret to run loose. Ferrets love to play, so be sure to provide lots of toys in lots of variety for them. The more that they have to do, the less mischief they will be inclined to find. Your ferret needs plenty of fresh water and a diet high in fat and protein. Many ferret owners feed cat or kitten food, avoid fish and fish-flavoured cat food, do not feed your ferret dog food as that will fill your ferret up without providing some of the necessary nutrients. Do not feed human snacks to your ferret, as many foods are toxic or indigestible. Concluded on the next page ...

33

SAFESaving Animals From Euthanasia (SAFE) was founded by Sue Hedley in 2003. Since then SAFE has developed branches and networks across the state. SAFE’s dedicated work has had a positive impact on people, pets and wildlife. SAFE’s innovative foster care program provides temporary care for animals until a permanent home is found. This means there are no cages or time lines on an animal’s life. Your donation or bequest can ensure SAFE can continue its life saving work. Have a look at our website: www.safe.asn.au

Dog LogicsTraining & Behaviour

One on One Lessons and Group Classes

Puppy Classes 8 - 16 weeks

Jacquie Humphrey9295 1768

30 years experienceAccredited by: Canine Evaluators of Australasia

Dorgeous Penny is one of the many kittens

in SAFE’s rehoming program that missed out on being adopted over the Christmas period. DiDi is a sweetie who at six years old, is still very young in Jack Russell years. She has been looking for a new home since her elderly owner became ill. A loveable dog and good company, she makes a great little watchdog too and is good at discriminating about what to bark at. DiDi’s former owner, Reg, would visit the SAFE offices in Karratha from time to time when he came into town, bringing cat and dog crates that his mate had rescued from the tip. He’d have a coffee, a bit of a yarn and spoke proudly of his dog who he had trained to chase cats out of the yard at home. This didn’t impress the cat lovers at SAFE too much, but probably made Reg tell the stories more! When Reg wasn’t seen around for a while, SAFE heard he had been hospitalized after falling ill and the person who was meant to be caring for the little Jack Russell had left her to fend for herself. SAFE contacted the rangers who picked

her up and brought her to SAFE. She went into foster care, was vet checked, and put on a healthy diet and exercise regimen. Despite all the changes, she is a happy girl who has adapted well to life in her foster home. Her carers say DiDi is really lovely to have around. She gets excited when they get home from work and tries to impress them with laps of the park. She has lost some weight and can now walk almost a kilometre. She’s very happy to get back to the couch though! She gets along fine with other dogs as long as they don’t have bad manners and get in her personal space. So puppies will usually get a bit of a growl. Like many Jack Russells, she can get a little nippy when playing excitedly so is not suited to a home with young children. DiDi is desexed, microchipped and vaccinated. She sleeps inside the house and is toilet trained. DiDi can be flown cheaply and easily to her new home. SAFE’s successful fostering program relies largely on flying animals from remote areas to their new homes in other parts of WA and interstate. You can feel safe to adopt long distance because SAFE animals come with a “lifetime guarantee “. This means if they are not able to stay

DIDIJUDY WEBB

in your care for whatever reason, SAFE will always take them back, as we ensure that both humans and animals alike are happy with the match. This lovely little Jack Russell will make a fabulous companion for an elderly person, couples or singles. If you’re a gardener, you’ll appreciate the added bonus of no more cats in your yard! Reg passed away recently but we are sure that wherever he is he would know that SAFE will do its very best for his little tearaway. Contact SAFE Karratha on 08 9185 4634 if you’d like to give DiDi another chance at a loving home. If you don’t want to adopt, but would like to help SAFE, you can volunteer to be a foster carer or can contribute financially to vet costs.

Didi (Photograph by John Nabben)

Concluded from page 24 ... Ferrets are strict carnivores, meaning they can only digest animal products. Avoid chocolate, caffeine, tobacco products, soft drinks, coffee, tea, ice cream, milk, and onions. Ferrets do need variety, though, and they will do just about anything for a treat-including learning tricks such as sitting up, walking to heel, begging, and rolling over. Ferrrets should be fed at least twice daily as it only takes three to four hours for food to pass through. Feeding only once a day will mean the ferret will spend a long day with an empty stomach. Ferrets should be fed a combination of raw meaty chunks, raw meaty bones and chunky (not ground) raw meats which will help keep the teeth clean as they require ripping and tearing to be consumed. Bones must be raw as cooked bones may splinter and lodge in the digestive tract causing serious problems. A diet consisting solely of meat is not recommended as it is deficient in calcium. Giving your ferret lactose free milk counterbalances this. There are also calcium supplements available from some veterinary clinics, which can be mixed with meat. If you are at all interested in ferrets or have any questions you should have a look at the website of the Western Australian Ferret and Ferreting Society www.waffs.org.au, who have a great deal of information.

34

IF YOU WOULD LIKE AN EVENT LISTED IN THIS COLUMN RING JAN ON 9298 8495

WHAT’S ON

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUSGlen Forrest GroupEvery Monday evening We meet at 7.00pm at the Glen Forrest Uniting Church, Mc Glew Rd, Glen Forrest. Call Dermot 0488 905 211 or John 0448 074 536 or the Perth Office (all hours) 9325 3566.

AUSTRALIAN BREASTFEEDING ASSOC. Discussion groups, guest speakers, morning tea. Free breastfeeding counselling. Expectant mothers, mothers, babies and children welcome. National Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 2686 is a 24 hour 7 days a week service.

Swan/Mundaring Group meets every Monday, 9:30-11:30am at the Gumnuts Family Centre, 8 Mudalla Way, Koongamia. A qualified ABA counsellor is present at each meeting to give confidential information and support on breastfeeding issues. Contact Natalie 9572 4971.

Kalamunda Group meets fortnighly on a Thursday, 9:30-11:30am at the Maida Vale Baptist Church, Edney Road, High Wycombe. Contact Jenny 9252 1996.

Northam Group meets each second Tuesday of the month at the Bridgeley Community Centre, Wellington Street, Northam 10am to Noon.Fourth Tuesday each month at Toodyay Playgroup, Stirling Terrace, Toodyay. Noon to 2pm. Please phone Louisa 9574 0229.

HILLS CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP1st Wednesday of each month Hilltop Grove Estate, 1645 Jacoby Street, Mahogany Creek. Morning tea provided, between 10.30 - 12.00 noon.Enquiries Terina 9572 1655.

SWAN HARMONY SINGERS Every Wednesday eveningSwan Harmony Singers are welcoming new members, especially men, to join us at the Salvation Army Church Hall, 371 Morrison Rd, (opposite Swan View Primary School), Swan View. We meet from 7-9pm, to sing music ranging from jazz to pop, plus the occasional classic. As we are starting on a new programme of songs, this is the perfect time to join. No auditions. For more information, call Chris on 9298 9529 or 0435 062 728. Come and sing with us!

MAD TATTERS MORRIS DANCINGTuesday Evenings - commencing Feb 3rdIt’s like bush dancing, with sticks and bells. It’s aerobic exercise and great fun! Guildford Town Hall, Cnr James St & Meadow St, Guildford. Practice from 7-9pm, drinks later at the Woodbridge Hotel. For more information please contact:Christine Hogan: 9279 8778Email: [email protected]: madtattersmorris.myclub.org.au

THE HILLS CHOIRMonday Evenings Do you enjoy singing and joining with others to make beautiful music? Come and join the Hills Choir. We meet from 7.30 to 9.30pm at the Uniting Church on Stoneville Road, Mundaring. Contact Margie on 9295 6103 for further information.

SWAN VALLEY SQUARES – ELLENBROOKEvery Friday Night Modern Australian Square Dancing from 8.00 pm – 10.00 pm Woodlake Community Hall, 1 Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly, fun and low cost. No previous experience necessary. All Welcome. Contact Greg Fawell 0417 912 241 or www.swanvalleysquares.weebly.comGUILDFORD MARKETThird Sunday of every month At Guildford Town Hall, Corner of James and Meadow Streets. 9am - 3pm. Situated in the heart of Guildford, within five minutes walking distance from the Guildford Train Station, a visit to the Guildford Market is sure to please. With a diverse and unique array of locally handcrafted products and produce, there will be something of interest for all. From garden ornaments, homemade jams and relishes to handmade soy candles, cards, bags, cushions, children’s toys, bears, baby and children’s wear. Individually designed and crafted glassware, jewellery and beautifully made wood products and so much more to tempt you. Sausage sizzle, live music all day. Make a day of it, stroll around the markets and then take the time to wander about the heritage listed town of Guildford. Enjoy a picturesque Heritage Walk Trail or pay a visit to the antique, art and craft shops along the cafe strip. Enquiries: Bromwyn, 6278 4252.

MUSTARD SEED - DISCOVERING COMPUTERS Mustard Seed is a non-profit organisation and caters for all aspects of everyday computing. Ability levels from beginner to advanced are welcome and learners proceed at their own pace. There are desktops, laptops, iPad and Android tablets, scanners, printers and Wi-Fi broadband internet. Cost is $3 per session. Enrolments in 2014 exceeded 100. To gain a place in 2015 enrol now. Forms and information are available by: Phoning 9299 7236 or 0416 815 822 or E. [email protected].

ELLENBROOK COMMUNITY WEIGHT LOSS CLUBEvery Wednesday evening We meet from 6.45pm to 8.00pm at the Woodlake Community Hall, Meeting room 1. Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly support group and low cost. Male and females of all ages welcome. Contact Shirley 9276 7938 [email protected].

1. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."

2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 dollars that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in..

5. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"

6. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."

7. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

8. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

9. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

11. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

12. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

13. A man walked into the doctors', he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places". The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

14. Ruritania’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Search and rescueworkers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

HUMOUR

DAD JOKESLESLIE HERBERT

35

BUSINESS CARD BOARD

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CALLIGRAPHYNeed an editor?

Get expert advice on layout, editing, costings, publishing and marketing

from a professional editor.First consultation free. Free quotes.

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COMPUTER SERVICESPC Surgeon

Servicing most areasA Sick Home PC?

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36

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TREE SERVICES

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Swan Magazine is looking for someone to sell advertising.The position would suit a self-motivated person who wants flexible working hours. We offer generous commission rates, training and advice. Ring our editor, Jan Patrick, on 9298 8495 for an appointment to discuss options.

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37

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