suzy mcansh, 24.3.2010 booby traps for finnish writers of academic english

Suzy McAnsh, 24.3.2010

Booby Traps for Finnish Writers of Academic English


Academic Writing in English

• In which areas do you consider you are likely to make “mistakes” when you write?


By the end of the session, you should

• have a good awareness of typical language problems for Finnish scholars writing for publication in English

• have sharpened your ability to repair your own texts – structuring information– grammar– punctuation– appropriate style.

info structure – grammar – punctuation - styleinfo structure – grammar – punctuation - style


info structure


info structure – grammar – punctuation - style

Creating flow and unity

• “given-before-new” principle• creating focus



What kind of organisation do you strive for?

or



The “given-before-new” principle • provides readers with a framework on which to organise

concepts



The “given-before-new” principle



Creating focus

What is the painting “about”?


The University of Oulu offers high quality teaching and excellent programmes in six faculties. Every year hundreds of foreign exchange and degree students come to Oulu - would you like to be one of them? We here at the International Relations want to make everyone's stay special. These pages include a vast amount of information and are designed for your benefit. We hope you find what you are looking for - please, contact us if you have any questions!

International Relations web site http://www.oulu.fi/intl/ Accessed 17.3.2010

What is this text about?

http://www.oulu.fi/intl/


Keeping the topic in focus

The University of Oulu offers high quality teaching and excellent programmes in six faculties. Every year hundreds of foreign exchange and degree students come to Oulu - would you like to be one of them? We here at the International Relations want to make everyone's stay special. These pages include a vast amount of information and are designed for your benefit. We hope you find what you are looking for - please, contact us if you have any questions!

International Relations web site http://www.oulu.fi/intl/ Accessed 17.3.2010

Advantages of University

of Oulu

What we canoffer

http://www.oulu.fi/intl/



Creating Flow and Unity

Keep two things in mind:

1. Place familiar information at the start of a sentence, newsworthy information at the end.

2. Select appropriate topics and use strategies to keep the text topic "in the spotlight" as the text develops.



The “light-before-heavy” principle



The light-before-heavy principle



To explain the light-before-heavy principle, we need the concept, ‘noun phrase’

brick a noun, but not a noun phrase, since a noun phrase can function as the sentence subject

a brick

a brick in the wall

a brick in the wall of an ivy-covered tower

a sad, crumbling brick in the wall of an ivy-covered tower



1. ‘Light” noun phrases before the verb.

2. If you must use “heavy” noun phrases, use them at the end of a sentence.



How would you improve these “heavy-before-light” monsters?



Make a text easy to grasp ‘light” noun phrases before “heavy”

• light = short and simple• heavy = long and complex



Logical consistency: comparing like with like


methods forassessing

performance used inthe previous study


the previous study


Comparing apples and pears

The tests were assessed similarly to the previous study [4].

The performances were assessed using methods similar to those used in the previous study.

methods forassessingthe tests


performance inthese tests



The most important thing is to concentrate on personal achievement and give a feeling of competence to all the pupils instead of competing against each other.

The most important aim is to concentrate on personal achievement and give a feeling of competence to all the pupils instead of the sense of competing against each other.

to concentrate on personal achievement and give

a feeling of competence to all the pupils

competing against each other



Maintain logical consistency

place like with like in parallel structures


grammar



The article


Find the missing articles:• In teaching and learning the basic ideas of the number line

it would be essential to pay attention to the lengths of the intervals ...


General principle

• If you have a singular, countable noun, you need an article (or other determiner, such as “this”, “that”, “hers”, “its”):

Find the missing articles:• In teaching and learning the basic ideas of number line it

would be essential to pay attention to the lengths of the intervals...

student

concept

term

• A common feature in the books is that the measurement of length is left to the first year spring clearly after the presentation of the number line.

• Common feature in the books is that the measurement of length is left to the first year spring clearly after the presentation of the number line.


Where are the unnecessary articles?:• Moreover transferring the arithmetic sentences into

the number line diagrams and reverse will easily lead to the rote learning.

Where are the unnecessary articles?:• Moreover transferring the arithmetic sentences into

the number line diagrams and reverse will easily lead to rote learning.


General principle

• If you have a singular, uncountable noun which you are discussing in general terms, you do not need an article:

understanding

biology

research

• If pupils fail on the number line problems it does necessarily mean that they fail in understanding addition or subtraction.

• If pupils fail on the number line problems it does necessarily mean that they fail in understanding the addition or subtraction.


Where is the unnecessary article?: The physical education teachers felt that activity

monitors suit best the secondary school students but not primary school pupils, because activity monitors were not designed for small children.

Where is the unnecessary article?:• The physical education teachers felt that activity

monitors suit best secondary school students but not primary school pupils, because activity monitors were not designed for small children..


General principle

• If you have a plural noun which you are discussing in general terms, you do not need an article:


Quickie assignment

• Choose a paragraph (or two) from your own article.• Identify all the singular nouns (highlight or underline)

1. Do all the countable nouns have an article (or determiner)?

2. Are all the uncountable nouns written without an article when they are discussed in general, non-defined terms?



“A” or “the”?

a man

the man • familiar• known• identified

• unfamilar• vague• unidentified



When do we use “the”?

With nouns standing for “known” concepts– singular or plural– countable or uncountable

Known because– already mentioned in the text (same word or synonym)– shared knowledge of (expected, expert) community of readers– unique (biggest, best, only one)– defined by

• premodification (the new chairman)• postmodification (the chairman of the board, the chairman who

was recently appointed)



If a specified concept is mentioned add an article where necessary.If a general concept is mentioned remove an unnecessary article.

1. All the themes included some other activities besides just working with technological tools such as the computers and digital cameras.

2. Twenty-four six-year-old children took part in this study. The kindergarten was located close to the university. A research permit was asked from children’s parents...

3. On the inverse problem type the pupil has to draw “correct amount of circles” to correspond the points on the number line.

4. In addition to these also a skill to draw the arrows of given length is needed.5. Second essential research problem was to find out how the second graders can

shift from the arithmetic sentences to the number line diagrams and vice versa. 6. The six-year-olds can list the numbers from one to twenty with ease, they can

count the number of items in a discrete set, and they can compare discrete sets.7. Most common mistake was to write 4+12 or 4+12=16 (24%).8. Because most of the first and second grade pupils seem to learn decimal system

and basic arithmetic operations without the use of the number line, it seems to be a bad idea to interfere this process with number line diagrams in the first two classes.




1. All the themes included some other activities besides just working with technological tools such as computers and digital cameras.

2. Twenty-four six-year-old children took part in this study. The kindergarten was located close to the university. A research permit was asked from the children’s parents...



If a specified concept is mentioned add an article where necessary.

If a general concept is mentioned remove an unnecessary article.

3. On the inverse problem type the pupil has to draw the “correct amount of circles” to correspond the points on the number line.

4. In addition to these also a skill to draw the arrows of a given length is needed.




5. The second essential research problem was to find out how the second graders can shift from the arithmetic sentences to the number line diagrams and vice versa.

6. Six-year-olds can list the numbers from one to twenty with ease, they can count the number of items in a discrete set, and they can compare discrete sets.




7. The most common mistake was to write 4+12 or 4+12=16 (24%).

8. Because most of the first and second grade pupils seem to learn the decimal system and basic arithmetic operations without the use of the number line, it seems to be a bad idea to interfere this process with number line diagrams in the first two classes.



Countables and uncountables


Research and study

Study: countable / Research: uncountable

SPOT THE ERRORS• This study had also some features similar to an action

research• From the prior researches … there is every likelihood

that even the second graders do have problems with length measurement…

Research and study

Study: countable / Research: uncountable

SPOT THE ERRORS• This study also had some features similar to action

research• From the prior research, … there is every likelihood

that even the second graders do have problems with length measurement…

HOW ABOUT THIS?• …the material that they produced was used as shared reading

material.

HOW ABOUT THIS?• …the material that they produced was used as a

shared reading material.

• Almost half of the pupils noticed the points and counted simply their number starting from 5cm and hence ending with one unit too many.


countable uncountablefewer less

number amount

many much

• It is also remarkable that only four children knew fewer than 15 letters (uppercase).

• Almost half of the pupils noticed the points and counted simply their number starting from 5cm and hence ending with one unit too much.

• It is also remarkable that only four children knew less than 15 letters (uppercase).



Possessives


Possessives

Don't use the "s" possessive unless the noun refers to a person (or something which is treated as though it had human qualities)

"Jim's mouth" vs "the mouth of the river“

"Pam's foot" vs "the foot of the device“


How would you fix the possessive forms in the following?

The idea of the whole programme is to investigate, elaborate and innovate pedagogical practices.

1. The whole programme’s idea is to investigate, elaborate and innovate new pedagogical practices.


How would you fix the possessive forms in the following?

2. This exercise was formed using a task from Laskutaito 2b book's measurement part (Rikala et al. 2003, 68).

This exercise was formed using a task from the measurement section of the Laskutaito 2b book (Rikala et al. 2003, 68).


Scan your own text for– Quantifiers with countables– Possessive forms

Everything in order?



info structure – grammar –punctuation - style

Prepositions: always a challenge


Prepositions

• Unsure about a preposition?• Can Google help?

preposition?


search string: “may result * learning difficulties”


punctuation



Comma with introductory phrase


Comma with introductory phrase

WHILE HE WAS EATING TIGER WOODS CAME INTO THE ROOM.

In physical education teaching equipment selection is a key issue.


• Help your readers find the subject immediately comma after intro phrase

• Don’t make your readers work too hard!


Where should the comma go?

1. According to the guidelines teachers organize meaningful opportunities for children to become acquainted with written and oral language.

2. At the same time the preschoolers experienced a new way of practicing letter-sound correspondence.

3. In teaching and learning the basic ideas of number line it would be essential to pay attention to the lengths of the intervals and to meanings of the numerals marked on the number line

4. Again judging from the answers the pupils noted only the endpoints ...



Where should the comma go?

1. According to the guidelines, teachers organize meaningful opportunities for children to become acquainted with written and oral language.

2. At the same time, the preschoolers experienced a new way of practicing letter-sound correspondence.

3. In teaching and learning the basic ideas of number line, it would be essential to pay attention to the lengths of the intervals and to meanings of the numerals marked on the number line

4. Again, judging from the answers, the pupils noted only the endpoints …




Comma to combine complete sentences



Put a comma before coordinating conjunctions between sentences which are complete in themselves.

• and• but• nor• yet• or• so (and so)




• The analysis was carried out by the first author. PLUS

• It started from analysing the observational notes which were recorded after each session.

• The analysis was carried out by the first author, and it started from analysing the observational notes which were recorded after each session.




• In the spelling test there were ten words. PLUS

• Each word was scored separately.

• In the spelling test there were ten words, and each word was scored separately.




No comma before essential clause


No comma before essential clause

1. My brother who is an engineer lives in Germany.

2. My brother, who is an engineer, lives in Germany.

IN EACH CASE, HOW MANY BROTHERS DO I HAVE?

1. More than one brother

2. One brother


This info defines which

brotherI mean.

This is extra infoabout my brother.


Essential or non-essential: comma or no comma?

1. In many cases a peer helped the other child, when they had some difficulties with the technological devises.


2. These development ideas for the activity monitor have been also been reported to the producer of the monitor who has been collaborating with researchers.

3. It is justified to argue that this kind of exercise enhances the sequencing skills which have been learned with the discrete sets.

1. In many cases a peer helped the other child when they had some difficulties with the technological devices.

2. These development ideas for the activity monitor have been also been reported to the producer of the monitor, who has been collaborating with researchers.

Assumption: there isonly one producer

CORRECT: The relative clause defines

the sequencing skills



Hyphen with compound adjectives


Hyphen with compound adjectives red brick work vs red-brick work

To prevent ambiguity, hyphenate a compound adjective before a noun.

• (noun + noun) + noun a teacher-education institute• (adjective + noun) + noun a physical-education teacher• (noun + present or past participle) + noun a work-related study• (adverb + participle) + noun well-functioning systems

– (but not “ly” adverbs: a rapidly developing field

• (number + unit) + noun a 45-minute test



4. … according to this pilot study technology can support pedagogical practises that support a task orientated [14] motivational climate.

4. … according to this pilot study technology can support pedagogical practises that support a task-orientated [14] motivational climate.

3. The teachers also saw an opportunity for cross-curricular teaching when teaching health related issues to children and adolescents.

3. The teachers also saw an opportunity for cross-curricular teaching when teaching health-related issues to children and adolescents.

2. We also wanted to … distribute research based knowledge about technology based learning environments to educators.

2. We also wanted to … distribute research-based knowledge about technology-based learning environments to educators.

1. Literacy in the 21st Century is a three year (2009-2011) project funded by the European Social Fund (ESF).

1. Literacy in the 21st Century is a three-year (2009-2011) project funded by the European Social Fund (ESF).

Missing hyphens?



Scan 1-3 paragraphs of your own text. Have you used– commas to separate off introductory phrases?– commas to combine complete sentences joined by “and”, “but”,

“or”, etc.?– commas with non-essential clauses, but NOT with essential

clauses?– hyphens to join words in compound adjectives?

Everything in order?



style



“Run on” expressions and abbreviations


• Avoid ending your list with such expressions as – etc.– and so forth– and so on

• Instead, use a superordinate term followed by "including", "such as", or the verb "to include"


They wanted to show e.g. how to make the whole background of a drawing change colour.

They wanted to show techniques such as how to make the whole background of a drawing change colour.


1. Teachers organize meaningful opportunities for children to become acquainted with written and oral language e.g. by listening to stories, expositions, poems, nursery rhymes.

2. For example, a project on bugs … included different kinds of activities such as painting, drawing, making stone-bugs, storytelling etc.


1. Teachers organize meaningful opportunities for children to become acquainted with written and oral language by means such as listening to stories, expositions, poems, nursery rhymes.

2. For example, a project on bugs … included different kinds of activities such as painting, drawing, making stone-bugs, storytelling. (Remove the “etc.”)

or

For example, a project on bugs … included painting, drawing, making stone-bugs, storytelling and different kinds of activities.


e.g. and i.e

• Abbreviated forms most often used in parentheses • In running text, use

– for example– that is

• Don’t forget to separate these expressions off with commas


Teachers organize meaningful opportunities for children to become acquainted with written and oral language e.g. by listening to stories, expositions, poems, nursery rhymes.

Teachers organize meaningful opportunities for children to become acquainted with written and oral language, for example, by listening to stories, expositions, poems, and nursery rhymes.



Almost half of the pupils noticed the points and counted simply their number starting from 5cm and hence ending with one unit too much i.e. 12cm (44%).

Almost half of the pupils noticed the points and simply counted their number starting from 5cm, hence ending with one unit too many, that is, 2cm (44%).



Vocabulary shift


Vocabulary shift

• Recognise the difference between formal and informal vocabulary.

• Informal words: generally inappropriate in academic papers.



Verbs

Replace everyday verbs with more precise (Latinate) equivalents• be be located, be situated, …• do carry out, perform, implement, …• get obtain, gain, receive, achieve, …• give provide, supply, offer, …• make produce, generate, …• put place, insert, attach, …

Avoid phrasal (multiword) verbs• look at study, investigate• find out determine• get rid of eliminate• take care of manage



Verbs

1. The first column in the tables stands for the total points for the tests.


2. As the project went on the preschoolers were not that afraid of making mistakes and they worked harder.

3. For active pupils, …there are other technologies which can be used to get more detailed information of their performance.

Verbs

1. The first column in the tables represents the total points for the tests.

2. As the project proceeded, the preschoolers were less afraid of making mistakes, and they worked harder.

3. For active pupils, …there are other technologies which can be used to obtain more detailed information about their performance.


Nouns

– a lot a great deal, a considerable amount, …

– a lot of, lots of many, numerous, a large number of, …

– a way an approach, a means, a method, …

– an idea a concept, a plan, a notion, …

– the meaning (of...) the purpose, aim, objective, interpretation, …

– a thing a factor, an object, a point, an aspect, …


Nouns 1. If necessary, the observational notes were compared with the video

material to check unclear things ...


2. For example, when the children confronted a problem, the first thing they were told to do was to think together if they could solve it.

3. Another thing worth mentioning is that a number track starting from zero is not introduced in the other books.

4. The most important thing is to concentrate on personal achievement and give a feeling of competence to all the pupils ...

5. The study showed that introducing new technology to the school environment requires a lot of time and motivated teachers.

6. There is still a lot to improve in our pedagogical practices in the direction of emergent literacy.

1. If necessary, the observational notes were compared with the video material to check unclear points / aspects ...

2. For example, when the children confronted a problem, the first instruction they were given was to think together if they could solve it.

3. Another point / issue worth mentioning is that a number track starting from zero is not introduced in the other books.

4. The most important concern is to concentrate on personal achievement and give a feeling of competence to all the pupils …

5. The study showed that introducing new technology to the school environment requires a considerable amount of time and motivated teachers.

6. There is still a great deal to improve in our pedagogical practices in the direction of emergent literacy.


Adjectives

– big large, great, high, major, … – hard difficult, arduous, laborious, … – really extremely, considerably, …– good appropriate, effective, advantageous, … – bad poor, inappropriate, unsatisfactory, … – different various, a variety of, …



Adjectives

1. It was really easy to spot the children who had never used a mouse before, as their mouse using skills were less developed.


2. Of course, the problem was often so big that the children could not sort it out by themselves.

3. 23 per cent felt that their physical condition was quite bad or bad (5 %) compared to their peers.

Adjectives

1. It was extremely easy to spot the children who had never used a mouse before, as their skills in using the mouse were less developed.

2. Of course, the problem was often so unsurmountable that the children could not sort it out by themselves.

3. 23 per cent felt that their physical condition was quite poor or poor (5 %) compared to that of their peers.

The pupils just searched for the number symbols and circled them using the nearest number as a starting point.The pupils simply searched for the number symbols and circled them using the nearest number as a starting point.

The historical starting points for development of different number systems, like the decimal system, lie apparently in the counting and comparison of discrete sets

The historical starting points for development of different number systems, such as the decimal system, lie apparently in the counting and comparison of discrete sets

like and such– like = equal to or similar to– such as = include

just only, simply

remarkable and significant• remarkable = worthy of attention because it is in some way extraordinary.

• significant = scientific word, used to indicate that something is worthy of attention in a statistically meaningful way.

Odds and ends


It is also remarkable that only four children knew less than 15 letters (uppercase).



Nominalisation

Nominalisation• Academic language uses nominalisations• Nominalisation turns verbs into nouns • Text more concise: a lot of info packed into a few words


Children play with language, and this is encouraged to enforce phonological awareness.

Children’s playing with language is encouraged to enforce phonological awareness.

Avoidance of “-ing” forms where possible:

Children’s play with language is encouraged to enforce phonological awareness.

rather loose

2. Most of the children needed a lot of help and encouraging in the beginning.

2. Most of the children needed a great deal of help and encouragement in the beginning.

1. The analysis was carried out by the first author and it started from analysing the observational notes which were recorded after each session.

1. The analysis was carried out by the first author and it started from an analysis of the observational notes which were recorded after each session.

Find another noun form to replace the ”-ing” forms




Weak verbs


Don't overuse weak verbs

Where possible, • inject action into your verbs.• increase the information content.

Avoid static verbs such as "to be", "there is/are", or "to have".



4. In the room there were two round tables with ten to twelve chairs.

4. The room contained two round tables with ten to twelve chairs.

3. The second questionnaire … covered questions on their experiences with the use of the activity monitors in school and in leisure. There were also questions on the pupils’ conceptions of the activity monitor and its effects on their physical activity.

2. The FSR’s aim is to investigate, elaborate and foster innovative pedagogical practices.

2. The FSR aims to investigate, elaborate and foster innovative pedagogical practices.

1. In the spelling test there were ten words and each word was scored separately.

1. The spelling test consisted of ten words and each word was scored separately.

How would you change the following?


3. The second questionnaire … covered questions on their experiences with the use of the activity monitors in school and in leisure. It also included questions on the pupils’ conceptions of the activity monitor and its effects on their physical activity.



Informal connectors

Choose sentence connectors that create an appropriate academic tone

INFORMAL

And, …

But, …

So, …


APPROPRIATE

In addition, …

However, …

Therefore, …

3. They were able to spot children’s difficulties more easily and their advice changed, so they did not tell them the right answer immediately.

3. They were able to spot children’s difficulties more easily and their advice changed, and so they did not tell them the right answer immediately.

2. The fourth part of the test included two extra problems not directly related to the number line. So we do not consider them here more exactly.

2. The fourth part of the test included two extra problems not directly related to the number line. Therefore, we do not consider them here more exactly.

1. They were not able to write anything without the help of an adult. But sometimes it helped when the teacher was sitting next to the child …

1. They were not able to write anything without the help of an adult. However, sometimes it helped when the teacher was sitting next to the child …

Find a more appropriate sentence connector


4. Some children told they had used digital cameras before and they were able to tell what the function of each button was. Anyhow, the instructions for the use of the technological devises were first given to small groups.


Style check

• Swap articles with a partner.

• Do a style check for about 2-4 paragraphs of the text.


Thank you!

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suzy mcansh, 24.3.2010 booby traps for finnish writers of academic english

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