susie almaneih | making happiness happen: our kids teach us to let go of the negative and experience...
TRANSCRIPT
Making Happiness Happen:
Our Kids Teach Us to Let Go of the
Negative and Experience Joy
Susie Almaneih
What we notice
with kids, is the way
they are able to
stay in the present.
That’s partly
because they are
still building their
ability to make
store and retrieve
long term memory,
but another reason
is simply the quality
of attention.
If you watch your children, they flash back and forth quickly
from very different emotional realities within the frame of
minutes. It’s not that those feelings are insincere, it’s that
they are constantly changing...
If you watch your children, they flash back and forth quickly
from very different emotional realities within the frame of
minutes. It’s not that those feelings are insincere, it’s that
they are constantly changing... So how do we help
our kids sustain
happiness?
Model it.
If you get uptight
about little things,
guess who else
will? You can show
them how to take
hits and move on.
Label negative emotions.When the package doesn’t come, when the sippy cup wasn’t sealed at the bottom of yourpurse, when someone cuts you off and almost hits you, say it out loud: “I’m angry about thisright now. I need a moment to calm down.”
Make a joke.Even if you have to resort to sarcasm, try to laugh at the absurdity of not getting what youwanted in that moment.
New plan. One yogi suggested our mantra in moments of frustration can be, “and now, this ishappening.” It brings us into the present with a new set of parameters and allows us to notwaste time emotionally reacting.
Just like with grownups, some kids are tightly wound and
some kids are really go with the flow. When we practice
direct attention and use that label, breathe, joke, new plan
cheat sheet, we show them how to get over the hard stuff.
We also show them how to truly delight in the golden
moments and that is how they grow into happy, loving adults.