surviving the boss from hell

BY DAVID SILVERMAN

COMMENTARY BY

GIN1 GRAHAM SCOTT,

BRAD GILBREATH,

AND LAUREN SONTAG

Surviving the Boss from Hell THERE WAS A gust from the overhead duct, and my project manager certifi- cation floated onto my keyboard - no amount of Fun-Tak and tape could keep it attached to the walls of my cubicle. At the same moment, a meeting invite appeared on my screen, ac- companied by Outlook's distinctive doink - another "emergency" department meeting. As the pop-up slowly faded, I noted with a sinking feeling the words "conflicts with another appointment in your calendarl'That would be my long-delayed interview with Irving, the EVP of Finance Europe.

I wasn't surprised that my boss-the Commodore, as we called him -had, at the last second, decided he needed my presence. He had a sixth sense for when one of his underlings was attempting to further his career. Once, when I was sitting at the same lunch table as another VP, he had called my cell phone with a desperate request for a docu- ment I'd e-mailed him two weeks before.

Now the Commodore had sunk me again. This would be the third time in as many months that I'd had to cancel on Irving. I didn't deserve to be treated like this. I wouldn't put up with it any longer. I'd quit. If it weren't for the new baby. And my

U

adjustable-rate mortgage payments. - !c It had been much easier flee bad bosses when I was with- $ out responsibility. I recalled one episode when I'd gleefully

resigned by tossing my collection of awarded "empowerment beans" (actually just Red Hots) at a terrified manager who'd micromanaged me. But now I was 40 in a rotten economy. Quitting wasn't an option.

I stood up and rubbed my shoes on my pants legs, polishing them for my trip to 33, the executive floor. I gave one last go at reattaching my certifi- cate, using a pushpin and excessive force, but the pin broke. Admitting defeat again, I raced for the elevator.

I was pondering how I would ex- plain yet another cancellation to Ir- ving - and whether a stapler might

work on my cube wall - when I stepped out on 33 and directly into Irving, knocking his briefcase to the ground.

"I, ah, have, um - " I began, while starting to help him. "Meeting with the leadership committee,"he said, cutting me

off. "Can't stick around." I saw my project management dashboard among the papers he was gathering from the floor.

"So we should reschedule today's meeting?" I asked, relieved.

"Today?"he said. He was wearing a tie patterned with Shrek and coffee stains. For an EVP, he seemed to be out of touch

HBR's cases, which are fictional, present common managerial

dilemmas and offer concrete solutions from experts.

hbr.org I September ZOO9 I Harvard Business Review 33

with the executive floor dress code. And he seemed to have forgotten our appointment. But if he was taking my dashboard to the leadership committee, who was I to complain?

"I'll have Irma set up something," he said and sprinted into an elevator head- ing to 34 - the only floor more important than 33.

Hero of the Shoelace Incident "Nice of you to join us, David," the Com- modore said as he walked in - late, as usual - a few steps behind me. I edged my way around the table to the only empty chair.

We called him the Commodore because he was ex-military. Not Navy SEAL or Green Beret, although he would gladly have let you believe that. He had run uniform supply. His favorite story was about how he had "rescued" a gen- eral by providing emergency shoelaces. He had a pair of laces framed with a thank-you signed "Capt. Mulroney!' No- body asked why the "genera1"signed his name "Capt."

The Commodore's appearance was that of a fit person gone soil and then softer. To conserve energy, he'd roll in his chair around his office; out to the desk of his secretary, Helen; even down the hall. His voice sounded like toads being strangled at midnight. It haunted my dreams, and whenever I bent to retie my shoelaces, I could hear him croak his catchphrase: "We've got a lot to do."

"We've got a lot to do," he said, as if reading my mind. "So, Steve?"

This was the emergency? The kind of meeting where he went around the room, person by person, and had us update him with information he'd already received in our regular reports? I groaned quietly.

Steve, whom I'd known for years, rattled through his status report in two and a half minutes with several interjec- tions of "as you have approved" and "as you asked us to do" - thus preempting further inquiry. It was one of the meth- ods Steve had developed to manage the unmanageable Commodore.

The next nine participants did their best to be as concise. Occasionally one would misstep, and the Commodore would ask, "And what led you to that conclusion?"

Marissa was near the end, and I roused myself for whatever bullets she might shoot my way. Just that morning she had screeched at me over the phone, "Where are my metrics? You know Thaddeus wants them!" She liked to call the Com- modore by his first name, which I found unsettling - as if he were just another member of our after-work volleyball team.

I'd explained to Marissa that the Com- modore had specifically directed me to consolidate her numbers with those of other departments. "My numbers?" she'd shot back, arching her eyebrows way up in a manner that made her tight bun bob. "My numbers? These are the statistics on shipping costs for the whole global enterprise worldwide!" I thought better of pointing out that "global" and

"worldwide" were synonymous and that "whole" was redundant. She was clearly under stress.

A Hug for the Intern Now Marissa was smoothing my latest report over and over on the conference room table like a psychopath."I've been working on the reports for shipping," she said, "and I'd like to go over their presentation in the monthly dashboard." Her way of dealing with the Commo- dore was to be insanely cranky - the better to keep him from asking her to do anything. "We really need to tweak the reporting to improve metrics in our enterprisewide facilitation of data gathering for global."

I thought, Hey, did she just take a swipe at me in front of everyone?

"Excellent," the Commodore said. "But we've got to keep this meeting moving. I've got an important announcement."

He was skipping Marissa and, by de- fault, me. I didn't know whether to be offended or thankful that his intense dislike of public confrontation saved me from having to defend myself.

s "Today i'd like to recognize an em-

ployee whose contribution to this department's success has been significant and is an example to all of us of the re- sults you can get from dedication and resolve." He held up a plaque.

Me? Could it be me? My dashboard report had been well received by Irving.

"I think you know who you are!' Maybe the Commodore hadn't

praised me before in order to save it for a public commendation.

"Lorelei, please stand up." I coughed too loudly. Lorelei? The

intern? "Lorelei has done the unimaginable.

She completely reorganized my filing cabinets and - quite professionally, I might add -labeled new binders so that I'm able to find everything I need."

I was sure everyone was thinking the same things: He'd dragged us all here for a summer intern whom he'd hired because her father was the head of purchasing. Those binders were a job that Helen had done most of the work on. An award for an intern for three-hole punching was creepy -just like the uncomfortable-to-watch bear hug he gave her before he handed her the plaque.

Another quarter hour was spent with the Commodore's reminders that "we all have big responsibilities" and "we've got a lot to do:' interwoven with a couple of shoelace references. Then we were free to go.

As I got up, the Commodore shouted, "David, come by my office before you go." It was 5:30 PM. Stoop-shouldered, I went to wait. Of course, he'd vanished. I'd once spent two hours waiting by the Commodore's candy dish (for other ex- ecutives only) before Helen came by and told me she'd seen him off to the airport hours earlier.

"David?" It was Irma, Irving's assistant.

"Yes," I said, trying not to stray too far from the mini-Snickers.

"Irving apologizes. He has to head out to Zurich tonight, but he wanted you to have this!' She placed an inter-

34 Harvard Business Review I September 2009 I hbr.org

office mail envelope in my hand. The string had been wound tightly around the button and taped over for security.

"Not Pink. Just Lighter Red." "What's in your hand?" The Commodore had snuck up behind me in his rolling chair.

"Ah, er, a medical form from HR." "Your back's not acting up again, is it?"

he said, swiveling his torso as he rolled toward his office.

I recalled how he'd handled my back injury: The doctor had advised injec- tions and physical therapy. The Com- modore had given me a heat pack and a "heads-up" that "people have been talking" about how much I from home.

I shook my head. "Well, good. We need you in top form.

We've got a lot to dol'He flipped through the pages of my latest dashboard. "Sev- eral things."

I took out a notepad. "First, the red is too strong - too nega-

tive. Make it lighter!' He had complained that the last

version was too pink - not masculine enough. Sometimes it helped to re- mind him of his prior decisions. "More pink?"

"No, not pink. Just lighter red." And sometimes it made no difference.

He flipped a few more pages."I thought you were going to make this better."

I tightened my jaw. His exact instruc- tion had been "Make it sexier." How do

you make a PowerPoint project management dashboard "sexy"?

"On page 3 the charts are 3-D now," I replied.

He examined them."Tim's group puts six charts per page. Can we do that?"

That would mean 6-point type. Not even a hawk could read 6-point type. But my coping mechanism was capitulation.

"1'11 put that together for you." "And here, on the appendix. Is it 'ap-

pendixes' or 'appendices'?" "I think it's either." He laughed. "I think you'll find it's

'append-ee-cee-ss!" I nodded. He enjoyed nothing better

than being more knowledgeable about something than an "expert." Since I was the one in the department with an

hbr.org I September 2009 1 Harvard Business Review 35

English degree, he spent a lot of time "fixing" my grammar and usage.

"Good," he said, and leaned back. The six casters on his chair desperately strug- gled to maintain contact with the floor.

"Now, I'm just thinking that we haven't had a performance-review discussion in a while. Where do you want to be in five years?"

I read it quickly. But wait - this couldn't be right. "It says level lo. I'm already level lo." I handed it to Steve.

"Yep, a horizontal move," he said. "Same pay, same level, just not working for the Commodore."

I couldn't believe it. "Irving's an EVP. He can't have a level lo working for him, can he?"

I "Bosses come and go." she said. "In the meantime. it's a job."

As I contemplated how to respond to this giant pothole of a query that had come out of nowhere - or, more likely, from an annual HR reminder - he turned his attention to his e-mail and began typing.

"Well, I've found my time here - " "Steve!" He slammed the wall with an

open palm. "Steve! What's the number of Tim in Finance?"

I knew from experience that when the Commodore wall-banged, Steve would head out and then come back from the opposite direction a while later, usually with a fresh coffee, knock on the Com- modore's door, and say, "Do you need anything?" More coping.

"So I would like - "I said slowly. "Okay, so I'm going to need that dash-

board before tomorrow's meeting with Tim."

"I'll get it to you right away," I said. "Good,"he said, and picked up his coat.

"You know what I want."

Escape Route or Dead End? "He didn't leave already, did he?" Steve asked, a cup of steaming java in his hand.

"Like a manager about to have a per- sonnel discussion."

Steve nodded. "What's the envelope?" I tore off the tape and string - future

users of this interoffice envelope would no longer be able to "recycle if possible."

"It's an offer letter from Irving." Steve raised his eyebrows.

"Apparently he can. And you should take it." Steve swigged his coffee. "What- ever Irving is like, he's got to be better than the Commodore."

"And maybe he'll help me get promoted later," I said, trying to be optimistic.

"Maybe. But if you don't take it, you'll never find out."

Steve returned to his office, and I wan- dered aimlessly into Helen's, pondering what it would be like to get away from my tormentor.

"Lost?" Helen was typing away on her keyboard, headset on and instant mes- sages beeping on her screen.

"Sorry, just thinking." "About Irving?" There were no secrets

among assistants. She typed a few more words. "So, is it a good offer?"

"It's a lateral move." She tilted her head and looked into

the hall to see if anyone was coming. "Don't take it."

"But you know how difficult it is to be here."

"I know that they pay me. And I know that if you don't get more money when you change jobs, then you'll never get a raise."

"But maybe Irving is different." "When you've been here as long as

I have, 'different' is a relative term. Do you remember when Thaddeus first got here?"

It was true -he'd been different then. He'd given several employees gifts of shoelaces and polish.

i "He i a s expecting a promotion to the

34th floor. Then his boss got moved to Rangoon, and Lisa took the top job."

I realized she was right: When the Commodore had lost hope for his own career, he'd become the downward- focused micromanager who loomed over our days.

"Bosses come and go," she said. "In the meantime, it's a job. Do it well and go home. I do, and so should you."

Suddenly we heard the sound of foot- steps in the hall, and Marissa strode in. I quickly excused myself, explaining that I had to work on a revised dashboard.

"Make sure shipping gets a full page!" she shouted after me.

That night, as I put the baby to sleep, I thought: Should I stay with a known bully? Or go to Irving, who seemed better - but perhaps only because I hadn't yet worked for him. And what about that offer? It implied that Irving wanted my dashboard, not me, and as a result I wouldn't get any more pay or respect.

At 5:30 Monday morning, my phone rang.

"David, why haven't you answered my e-mails?" the Commodore said.

"I, uhhh.. ." "Don't worry about it. I just wanted

you to know I was looking through your latest dashboard again. It's good work. Really good."

A compliment? Even at this hour it was nice to hear.

"Can you be here at 6:00 to walk me through it?"

Should David make a lateral move into a job with uncertain prospects and a boss he doesn't know? Three commentators offer expert advice.

David Silverman (dsilverman@harvard business.org) writes "Words at Work,"a blog at harvardbusiness.org, and is the author of m o : The Last American mesetter or How I Made and Lost 4 Million Dollars (Soft Skull Press, 2007) and the HBR Case Study "Will Our Cus- tomers Bail Us Out?"(May 2008).

36 Harvard Business Review I September 2009 1 hbr.org

Gini Graham Scott (changemakers@pacbelLnet) is a consultant, motivational speaker, and the author of numerous books, including Want It, See It, Get It! (Ama- com, 2009) and A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses (Amacom, 2006).

DAVID SHOULD stay where he is, at least support network of colleagues who are all

for now. The lateral move that Irving offers suffering under a bad boss is one of the best

sounds hke a dead end, and taking the job ways to help everyone survive. It should start

would be the equivalent of announcing, "This small -Steve and David could each invite one

I Taking the job that Irving offers would be the equivalent of announcing. "This is the level where I'm supposed to be."

is the level where I'm supposed to be." Be-

sides, there are a lot of crazy bosses in the

world, and the Shrek-bedecked lrving sounds

a bit eccentric, to say the least. Furthermore,

the Commodore may see a lateral move

within the organization as a personal slight;

David could find that the bad blood of their

relationship trails him to his new position. If

he absolutely can't tolerate working with the

Commodore any longer, he should look for an

opportunity outside the company -though that

may not be a viable option in this economy.

So how does David make the best of a bad

situation?

First, he should, in a subtle and noncon-

frontational way, try to get the Commodore

to change some of his crazy-making behav-

ior. One approach would be to initiate an ex-

change that focused on David's work rather

than on his boss's actions. In a memo or a

face-to-face meeting, David could describe

what he thinks his boss wantsfrom him. If the

Commodore confirmed these expectations,

David could state his desire to better meet

them and offer some ideas on how that might

be achieved. Changes in his working relation-

ship with the Commodore could be implicit in

these suggestions. David might say, for exam-

ple, something like "I believe my dashboards

would benefit from your high-level strategic

guidance on how to maximize their impact

throughout the organization" -and, by impli-

cation, would also benefit from less second-

guessing about font color.

David should also build on the relationship

he seems to have with Steve. An informal

coworker they trusted to join them for a drink

after work -and grow slowly. (Marissa might

not be an immediate candidate for member-

ship.) And this network should be more than

a gripe group. In addition to giving people a

chance to blow off steam, the group ideally

would generate collective coping strategies

for dealing with the difficult supervisor.

If David decides to stay in his job for the

time being, it's important that he acknowl-

edge the decision, so that he can mentally

and emotionally accept the situation instead

of feeling victimized and constantly frustrated.

Acceptance isn't a sign of defeat; it's a stra-

tegic move. It generates a more positive at-

titude, which causes others to respond to you

more positively. For David, it could actually

lead to a more enjoyable relationship with the

Commodore -and would certainly yield a bet-

ter recommendation from his boss when he

finally does decide to move on.

Acceptance is easier if the relationship you

have with your boss doesn't dominate your

life. Make a special effort to find pleasures

outside of work that you can look forward

to during the day. Even seemingly trivial ac-

tions - such as adding favorite pictures or fun

objects to your work space - can offer mo-

ments of relief from the stress of dealing with

your boss. Who knows? An amusing photo

on your desk might elicit a laugh or serve as

a conversation starter sometime when he or

she stops by to offer advice -or criticism. In

short, if you decide to stick it out in your cur-

rent job, find little ways to make staying on

more enjoyable.

38 Harvard Business Review I September 2009 I hbr.org

DAVID NEEDS to think about more than hls

career; he needs to think about his health.

Much of my research has focused on the effect

that supervisors have on the people who work

for them. With a few qualifications, I'd advise

David to seize this opportunity to escape from

his boss.

Sure, he needs to perform some due dili-

gence. Through safe and informal channels,

he should quickly learn what he can about

Irving's reputation as a boss and his stand-

ing in the organization. (One existing piece of

evidence: When Dav~d ran Into him coming

out of the elevator, Irving didn't lose his tem-

per - which may more than counterbalance

that stained Shrek necktie.) But unless David

gets seriously negative reports on Irving, he

should accept the offer. He will be surprised

at how good it feels to work for even a medio-

cre boss after suffering under a bad one.

Although most organizations offer wellness

programs and other initiatives a~med at employ-

ees, it's amazing how few of them pay atten-

tion to the health effects of the~r supervisors'

behav~or. A colleague and I studied employees

laughable, even pathetic. But as David's boss,

he undoubtedly affects David in ways that he

may not even be aware of.

That said, let me take David to task, as

well. It is easy to make fun of someone like

Thaddeus. But such caricaturing can create

a d~storted picture of real~ty and put you in a

permanently negative frame of mind. Some

humorous harping about the boss can ease

stress, but it can get out of hand. David risks

replicating one of a boss's worst sins: treat-

ing other people like two-dimensional sitcom

characters rnstead of fellow human beings.

It's clear that Thaddeus isn't particularly lik-

able, but I suspect he knows that. This, along

with having been passed over for promotion,

undoubtedly fuels some of his annoying be-

havior. Without being sycophantic, David

might have tried to get to know his boss a bit

better. For example, ~f the shoelace incident

truly was the highlight of Thaddeus's career,

Dav~d might have used one of his retellings

of the story to find out something new about

it. I wonder, for example, if Thaddeus would

have stopped repeating the tale if David had

can ease stress, but Some humorous harping about the boss

it can get out hand.

in several work sectors and found a strong cor-

relation between bosses' behavior and their

employees' depression and other psychiatric

problems. In fact, supervisors' behavior was

more strongly associated with employees' psy-

chological well-being than was social support

from family members, friends, or coworkers.

In a study by other researchers, nurses with

difficult bosses had dramatically higher blood

pressure throughout the day than those with

considerate and empathetic bosses.

Thaddeus manifests some of the negative

management traits that correlate with job

stress -such as creating confusion by failing

to communicate needed inffrmation - and

none of the positive ones. 'Yes, he's a bit

at some point asked what, exactly. Thaddeus

did to save the day. In any case, this humane

expression of interest certainly wouldn't have

hurt David's relationship with his boss.

In the end, though, David should ac-

cept Irving's offer. Working for Thaddeus is

clearly taking a toll on his psychological well-

bemg - his boss even haunts his dreams -and

probably on his physical health, as well. The

strain is undoubtedly spilling over Into David's

home life, too. Research indicates that em-

ployees' work-related stress has a measur-

able negative effect on their families. The

strongest reason for David to get a new boss

may be to protect his wife and child from

Thaddeus's influence.

Brad Gilbreath, a former human resources manager at Ford and Westinghouse, is an assistant professor of management at the Hasan School of Business at Colorado State University-Pueblo.

hbr.org I September2009 I Harvard Business Rev~ew 39

David M a k e o v e )

Lauren Sontag (lauren [email protected]), a former head of development at JPMorgan Chase, is the presi- dent of Sontag Associates, a consultingjrm specializing in executive coaching, leadership development, and talent management.

BEFORE OFFERING advice to David, I'd want

to clarify my understanding of his situation by

getting to know him a bit better; to be honest,

some of his behaviors and perspectives seem

a little extreme. Most people at some time in

their careers run into a boss with whom they

can't get along. But it sounds like David has

a rocky history with his supervisors.

For one thing, he seems unwilling to dis-

cuss with a supervisor the small things that

bother him - so they turn into bigger things.

and when he finally reacts, he's out of control.

(Throwing Red Hots is hardly professional be-

havior.) Has David ever explained to Thaddeus,

diplomatically but directly, that he'd prefer not

to be called at 5:30 in the morning except for

a work crisis? Some good leaders I've known

have done rude things - such as repeatedly

taking phone calls in the middle of in-person

conversations with me - but our interactions

improved when I politely expressed to them

my frustration with their behavior. Learning

how to have difficult yet important conversa-

tions with your boss in a soc~ally acceptable

wav is a critical career skill.

Irving's offer, by contrast, may eventually

lead to advancement. Of course, David needs

to do some lntelhgence gathering: He needs

to find out from others what lrving is like to

work for, and to find out from lrving himself

what it will take to be successful in the joband

what growth opportunities it offers.

But the lateral nature of the move is obscur-

ing what may be the primary appeal of the offer

for David. Because lrving is at a h~gher level in

the organization than Thaddeus, presumably

with several levels of people reporting to hlm,

the new job should give David more room

to maneuver and advance. lrving has direct

reports at a higher level than where David

is now, which doesn't appear to be true for

Thaddeus. In short, lrv~ng doesn't have to get

promoted in order for Davld to get promoted.

And that's important, especially in the current

environment, in which bosses' potential for

advancement is reduced because of compa-

nies' reluctance to move people - especially

senlor people - up the salary scale.

Let me suggest a third optlon for David - one that people too rarely think about. He

I David should consider carving out a new role that capitalizes on his expertise.

Another red flag: Dav~d's discomfort with

the fact that Marissa calls the Commodore

by his first name. In business today, at least in

the United States, you don't call even the CEO

of a Fortune 500 company Mr. So-and-so.

Now let's look at David's options. By learn-

rng how to set boundaries. David might be

able to Improve his relationship with Thaddeus,

who seems at least to appreciate the quality

of his work. But even if things improve, stay-

ing in his current position, rather than making

the lateral move that lrving is offering, may

not be David's best career option. It may, in

fact, represent the dead end that Helen warns

David of. That's because Thaddeus himself

seems to be stalled in his career. And if your

boss isn't moving up, you aren't either.

should consider carving out a new role for

himself, one that cap~tal~zes on his expertise

in creating useful project-management dash-

boards. lrving needs David's skills, and so

does Thaddeus. Why not propose to them that

he set up a dashboard "center of excellence"

that -with the addition of a junior employee

who would report to David -could meet the

needs of both of them more cost-effectively.

This would give David his promotion -and of-

fer him the new challenge of being a good

boss himself. f3

Reprint R0909B

Reprint Case only R0909X

Reprint Commentary only R0909Z

To order, see page 123.

40 Harvard Business Revlew I September 2009 I hbr.org

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