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Sun So Hot

I Froze to DeathA Waldorf Reader

for Late Fourth Grade

Text by Arthur M. Pittis

Illustrations by Ausa M. Peacoc



Printed through support from the Norton Foundation

Title: Sun So Hot I Froze to Death

Author: Arthur M. PittisIllustrator: Ausa M. PeacockEditor: David MitchellCover layout: Hallie WootanProofreader: Ann ErwinISBN # 1-888365-65-X© 2005 by: AWSNA Publications 3911 Bannister Road Fair Oaks, CA 95628

916-961-0927 www.awsna.org/publications [email protected]

This Waldorf Reader Series is dedicated to RosemaryGebert who was my teacher at the Waldorf Institute in1980Ð81 and whose work as a teacher of teachers inspired meto undertake this project for the benefit of all class teachersand their students.

The author wishes to thank the Austin Waldorf School, itsteachers and students, the Waldorf Educational Foundation,the Norton Foundation, the Association of Waldorf Schools ofNorth America, and especially David Mitchell for the supportthat made this reader series possible.

ContentsFabulous Tales

Brer Rabbit Takes Brer Fox for a Ride

The Wonderful Tar Baby

Sista Cottontail and Brer BearÕs Butter Tr

Brer Rabbit Gets Paid Back in Kind

The Cow Goes under the Ground

Hero TalesThe Life of Johnny Appleseed

Sweet Betsy

Keelboat Annie Christmas

Saving the Natchez Queen

John Henry

Tall TalesThe Coming of Davy Crockett

Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind

Davy Meets Mike Fink

Sally Ann Saves DavyÕs Life

Mike Fink Gets His

Pecos Bill and His Family Go West

Bill Gets Raised by the Coyotes

Bill Learns HeÕs a Human Critter

Bill Tames Widow Maker



Bill Becomes King of the Cowboys 126

Bill Rides a Texas Tornado 132

Slue-foot Sue, Queen of the Cowgirls 136

Bill and Sue Honeymoon on the Moon 141

Home on the Range 146

The Winter of the Blue Snow 148

The Boyhood of Paul Bunyan 153

Babe, the Blue Ox 157

The Land of Ten Thousand Lakes 161

The Mighty Big Griddle 165

The Camp on the Big Onion 168

Logging the Dakota Territory 173

A Scary StoryWiley and the Hairy Man 180

Fabulous Tales



Brer Rabbit Takes Brer Fox for a Ride

One morning Brer Rabbit was sitting in the rocking

chair out on the porch at Miss MeadowsÕ Store. He

was talking away and letting her and her gal admire

his good looks. My, was he a talker; he could talk a

dog away from a bone.

ÒDid I ever tell you that Brer Fox was my daddyÕs

ridinÕ horse? MustÕve been on thirty years ago.

MightÕve been thirty-five or forty, but it certainly was

at least thirty, for sure. Finest ridinÕ horse my daddy

ever had.Ó

ÒCome now, Brer Rabbit,Ó Miss Meadows laughed,

Òyou expect us to believe that talk?Ó

ÒWell, folks will believe what they like,Ó said Brer

Rabbit, getting up and taking his hat. ÒBut I know

what I know.ÓAbout an hour later, Brer Fox dropped by Miss

MeadowsÕ. After heÕd made himself comfortable with

some nice cool ice tea, Miss Meadows up and asked,

ÒI hear you was Brer RabbitÕs daddyÕs ridinÕ horse.Ó

ÒWho told you that?Ó Brer Fox sputtered, spilling

ice tea all over his suit of store bought clothes.

ÒWhy, Brer Rabbit did. Said so hisself, no more

than an hour ago.Ó

Miss MeadowsÕ gal let out a short giggle, then hid

her face behind her fan. Brer Fox, he just kept on

rocking, acting as cool as an ice cube out in

on the Fourth of July. After a while he fini

tea, stood up and bid Miss Meadows good da

ÒThank you kindly, maÕam. That was mi

tea,Ó he said. Then tipping his hat, he said, Ò

and left the porch.

ÒMuch obliged,Ó smiled Miss Meadows, Ò

come back again, real soon, you hear?Ó

Now deep down inside, Brer Fox felt aw

at Brer Rabbit for telling Miss Meadows and

such a lie. So as soon as he was around the

the road, he took off through the woods, hea

Brer RabbitÕs house. He was going to even th

you can bet on that.

When he got down to Brer RabbitÕs, hearound a bit, making sure Brer Rabbit was i

when he was sure Brer Rabbit hadnÕt set a

for him, he knocked on the door.

ÒWhoÕs there?Ó called Brer Rabbit in a feeb

ÒItÕs your friend, Brer Fox. SomethinÕ wro

Rabbit? You donÕt sound so good.Ó

ÒNothinÕ the grave wonÕt cure,Ó moan

Rabbit.

ÒYou sound mighty bad, Brer Rabbit. A

can do?Ó



10 11

ÒCall the undertaker when you gets a chance. IÕm

on my way to see my Maker.Ó

ÒIÕs mighty sorry to hear that, Brer Rabbit,Ó said

Brer Fox, Òbecause Miss Meadows anÕ her gal are

throwinÕ a party come SateÕday night, anÕ that party

wonÕt be worth a dry creek without you there.Ó

ÒThatÕs mighty kind of you tellinÕ me, Brer Fox,Ó

moaned Brer Rabbit. ÒWhat night did you say that

partyÕs gonna be?Ó

ÒSateÕday.Ó

ÒMight be able to make it if you can get me to the

hospital in time. IÕd hate to disappoint Miss Meadows

anÕ her gal.Ó

ÒIÕll carry you to the hospital in my arms,Ó offered

Brer Fox.ÒMuch obliged, but IÕm afraid youÕd drop me. I

might be able to make it if you carry me on your back,

though.Ó

Now Brer Fox didnÕt like that. Something about

carrying Brer Rabbit on his back worried him, but

he didnÕt know what it was. He was thinking it over

when Brer Rabbit let loose the most horrible groan.

ÒLordy, Lordy, Lordy!Ó Brer Rabbit cried. ÒTheyÕre

aÕcominÕ to carry me away. Goodbye, Brer Fox. IÕll

put in a good word for you with the Lord. YouÕvebeen the best friend this rabbit ever had.Ó

ÒDonÕt die, Brer Rabbit. DonÕt die,Ó cried Br

ÒIÕll carry you on my back.Ó

ÒThank you kindly, but IÕm afraid IÕd fall off

had a saddle.Ó

ÒIÕll fetch you a saddle.Ó

ÒBut it gotta have a bit anÕ bridle.Ó

Brer Fox began to feel worried again, but Brer

fixed that. He let loose another horrible moan.

ÒAll right, Brer Rabbit! IÕll get you a bit anÕ b

ÒAnÕ youÕll have to wear blinders, or else you

get spooked anÕ buck me off.Ó

Well, Brer Fox began worrying about th

but Brer Rabbit fixed that too. He moaned like

himself was coming through the door.

ÒIf he Õs that sick,Ó thought Brer Fox, Òhe can Õno harm.Ó

ÒDonÕt fret none, Brer Rabbit. IÕll put blind

But where am I gonna get this gear?Ó

ÒDonÕt worry none about that. My daddyÕs

is hanginÕ out in the barn. While youÕre putt

on, Brer Fox, IÕll crawl over to the window so I

myself down on your back.Ó

So off Brer Fox went and pulled Brer R

daddyÕs saddle on. When he got back to the w

Brer Rabbit lowered himself down onto Brer Foxand took hold of the reins.



13

ÒNow, donÕt you be going too fast, Brer Fo

Rabbit groaned. ÒIÕm one sick critter, anÕ I

my deathbed because I didnÕt want to dis

Miss Meadows anÕ her gal.Ó

After Brer Fox had carried Brer Rabbit a c

hundred yards, he felt Brer Rabbit squirmin

his back.

ÒWhatÕs happeninÕ up there?Ó he asked.

ÒJust shorteninÕ up the left stirrup, thatÕs

Then Brer Fox felt Brer Rabbit squirm som

ÒWhatÕs happeninÕ up there now?Ó

ÒJust shorteninÕ up the right stirrup; thatÕ

But what Brer Rabbit was really doing was

on spurs, good pointy spurs he had sharpened

time like this. When they were about a hundrfrom Miss MeadowsÕ store, Brer Rabbit yank

on the reins and dug those spurs right into B

side. Brer Fox let loose a fearsome yelp and

to run like all the demons the devil could emp

after him. He went running down that road

so loud that Miss Meadows and her gal came

out onto the porch to see what was going on.

Brer Rabbit waved his hat to the ladie

galloped past. Then down at the bend in the

spun Brer Fox around, jumped him over the fe



14 15

raced him around the meadow a lap or two before

pulling him to a stop in front of the store. Brer Fox

just collapsed in the dust, rattling and sputtering like

a motor running out of gas.

Brer Rabbit sashayed up onto the porch and sat

himself down in the rocking chair.

ÒDidnÕt I say, ladies, that Brer Fox was my familyÕs

ridinÕ horse? But heÕs gettinÕ old; he ainÕt got the style

or speed he once had.Ó

ÒYou sure did,Ó laughed Miss Meadows. ÒNow,

you just make yourself comfy while I send my gal to

fetch Brer Fox a bowl of ice tea. He sure looks like he

could use somethinÕ cool right now.Ó

After riding Brer Fox like that, Brer Ra

mighty low. Word was out that Brer Fox w

him. Everybody was saying that Brer Fox wa

for him and that he was going to fix Brer Rab

fix him good.

ÒAfter I Õm done with him,Ó Brer Fox bra

himself, Òhe ain Õt gonna play no tricks on no

more.Ó

But after awhile, Brer Rabbit felt mighty lo

just laying up in his cabin behind a locked doo

day he decided to take a chance and pay a c

at Miss MeadowsÕ store and see what was go

But Brer Fox was laying for him. When he s

Rabbit heading for Miss MeadowsÕ, he took

the Home Depot and bought a big barrel of

bought a wheelbarrow too and wheeled tha

of tar back to where he knew Brer Rabbit had

by on his way home.

All morning Brer Fox was busier than a o

cat watching nine rat holes. He scooped out

and made himself the prettiest tar baby yo

hope to see. She had two yellow corks for e

a slice of the reddest watermelon for a sm

dressed her in a nice calico dress he swip

Missus ManÕs laundry line and topped her of

The Wonderful Tar Baby



16 17

hat that would make a Texan proud. Then, while the sun

softened up Tar Baby, Brer Fox hid himself in the bushes,

waiting for Brer Rabbit to pass by.

A little past noon, Brer Fox heard Brer Rabbit coming

down the road. He was whistling and twirling a fancy

walking stick heÕd borrowed from Mista Man. When Brer

Rabbit caught sight of Tar Baby, he stopped whistling

and began to sing, ÒOh, lovely day; oh, lovely day.Ó Then

when he was right up in front of Tar Baby he pretended

to notice her for the first time.

ÒLovely day,Ó Brer Rabbit said, tipping his hat to Tar

Baby and twirling his walking stick like a fancy city dude.

ÒYouÕre new around these parts.Ó

Brer Fox was so happy that he had to cover his mouth

with his paws or else he would have given himself away.

He was laughing that hard.

ÒCat got your tongue, honey?Ó Brer Rabbit asked.

Naturally, Tar Baby didnÕt say a word. She just sat

there smiling and shining in the sun.

ÒYou deaf, honey? If you are, I can talk a bit louder.Ó

But Tar Baby just smiled like Brer Coon in the sweet

corn when Mista Man is laid up sick.

So Brer Rabbit raised his voice and said it again, but

Tar Baby just smiled and smiled.

ÒDidnÕt your mama teach you manners?Ó Brer Rabbitasked, feeling pretty annoyed. ÒYou youngÕuns are all the

same. DonÕt know whatÕs got into you. In my

respected our elders. I reckon itÕs about time s

learned you some manners. Stick out your han

Now the sun had made Tar Baby so soft tha

her hands just happened to come unstuck and f l

onto the road. Looked like she didnÕt care.

ÒYouÕre a rude one, ainÕt you!Ó Brer Rabbit s

he swatted her hand with his walking stick. N

it stuck good.

ÒYou let go my stick!Ó Brer Rabbit cried, tryin

it away. ÒYou let go right now! IÕm sick of your

But Tar Baby just smiled and smiled.

ÒYou wipe that smile right off your face!Ó de

Brer Rabbit, Òor IÕm gonna wipe it off for you.Ó

But Tar Baby just smiled like she had just he

she was having a birthday party every day of th

Brer Rabbit didnÕt like that any, so he rolled up h

and gave her a slap right across the cheek. His p

good, real good.

ÒYou let me go!Ó cr ied Brer Rabbit, jerking his

way and that. ÒI told you to let me go! IÕs go

you one last chance, then IÕs gonna teach you

like you never had before.Ó

But Tar Baby just smiled.

So he swung his foot around and gave Tarkick. You wouldnÕt want to get kicked like th



1

siree! He kicked her so hard that his foot disappeared

all the way up to his knee!

Now Brer Rabbit was in a mighty bad fix, and mighty

mad too. He hollered and screamed and thrashed

around, but Tar Baby wouldnÕt listen at all. She just sat

there smiling like Mista Man when the Lord calls him to

Glory and Saint PeterÕs waiting for him personally at

the Pearly Gates.

ÒI ainÕt gonna stand for this no more!Ó shouted Brer

Rabbit. ÒYou let me go, or IÕs gonna butt you good!Ó

And before Tar Baby had a chance to say a word,

Brer Rabbit butted her so hard that his head stuck

tight.

Well, Brer Fox couldnÕt stand it any more. He

felt like he was going to die if he didnÕt laugh. So he

climbed out of the ditch where he was hiding and sang

out, ÒOh, lovely day; oh, lovely day.Ó Then he put his

snout right up close to Brer Rabbit and snickered, ÒGot

you now, Brer Rabbit. Got you good. Guess you know

whoÕs havinÕ rabbit for dinner tonight?Ó

Then he laughed again and snapped his suspenders.

He was so proud of himself for finally catching Brer

Rabbit at his own game.

ÒYou ainÕt gonna make trouble around these parts

no more, Brer Rabbit. No, siree. DidnÕt your mama

ever learn you not to be so friendly with just a

you meet on the road? IÕs just gonna call h

tell Sista Fox to get the barbecue ready becau

gonna party tonight.Ó

ÒWell,Ó said Brer Rabbit, Òyou got me no

no point sayinÕ IÕs gonna mend my ways if y

me another chance, is there?Ó

ÒHeh heh! Nope, ainÕt no point at all.Ó

started to call home.

ÒGuess IÕs gonna be barbecue tonight,Ó s

Rabbit. ÒBut thank goodness you ainÕt gonn

me in that briar patch. GettinÕ cooked is

gettinÕ barbecued is worse, but itÕs a blessinÕ co

to gettinÕ throwed in th

patch. ItÕs the worst place



20 21

ÒWhat are you sayinÕ?Ó asked Brer Fox, closing his

phone. ÒYou got somethinÕ against that briar patch?Ó

ÒOh, please, Brer Fox, donÕt throw me in that briar

patch. ItÕs the worst place of all!Ó

ÒNow that I think about it , itÕs too hot today to stand

over a barbecue. IÕs gonna hang you.Ó

ÒHang me!Ó cried Brer Rabbit. ÒThat sounds bad,

but not so bad. My daddy got hanged, anÕ he said it

was nothinÕ compared to gettinÕ throwed in a briar

patch. Get the rope, Brer Fox, IÕs ready. Get the rope

anÕ do what you got to do, but do it quick before you

change your mind anÕ throw me in that briar patch.Ó

Brer Fox felt mighty annoyed. Killing Brer Rabbit

was getting mighty hard. After working all these

years to catch Brer Rabbit, he wasnÕt going to throw it

away. He wanted Brer Rabbit to have the worst death

possible.

ÒWell,Ó snickered Brer Fox, ÒI canÕt hang you. I

didnÕt bring no rope. But I knows what IÕs gonna do.

IÕs gonna drown you in the creek.Ó

Brer Rabbit started to sniffle back tears.

ÒThatÕs mighty mean of you, Brer Fox. You knows

drowninÕ is a horrible way to die. But at least youÕre

decent enough,Ó and he shuddered from head to toe,

Ònot to throw me in that briar patch.Ó

ÒYou think youÕre pretty smart, donÕt y

Rabbit?Ó snarled Brer Fox. ÒYou think youÕr

talk me out of killinÕ you in a really bad way. I

thinkinÕ about skinninÕ you alive, but I ainÕt g

that either. No, siree! You know what IÕs gonn

Brer Rabbit just shook his tail.

ÒIÕs gonna throw you in that briar patch!Ó

ÒOh Lordy! Lordy!Ó screamed Brer Rabbit

do that! I beg you, Brer Fox. Burn me up, skin m

hang me with a rope, drown me in the cre

barbeque me. Make me suffer mighty bad, bu

Brer Fox, donÕt throw me in that briar patch

you kill me two, even, three times, if you prom

to throw me in that briar patch!Ó

Brer Fox was mighty pleased with himself.

these years, he finally had Brer Rabbit where he

him, and heÕd gotten him to tell him what was t

way to die. He grabbed Brer Rabbit by the

yanked him free of the Tar Baby. Then he loo

Rabbit in the eye and snickered, ÒAny last requ

ÒOh please, Brer Fox, I beg you. Do what y

with me but donÕt, oh, please donÕt, donÕt thro

that there briar patch.Ó

ÒBut, Brer Rabbit, thatÕs exactly what IÕ

do.Ó



22 23

And with a mean, lowdown laugh, he swung

Brer Rabbit around his head and flung him into the

briar patch. At first he thought he could hear Brer

Rabbit screaming. That felt good. But after a bit, Brer

Fox felt something else, and it wasnÕt good. It was

a sickly, stupid feeling rising up inside of him. Brer

Rabbit wasnÕt screaming; he was giggling, and he

was giggling at him.

ÒHey, Brer Fox,Ó Brer Rabbit called from way far

over on the other side of the briar patch. ÒDidnÕt your

mama ever learn you, Brer Fox, that rabbits are born

anÕ bred in a briar patch? Why, my daddy anÕ my

mama, my granÕdaddy anÕ my granÕmama too was

all born in this here briar patch, anÕ thereÕs no place

in this whole wide world that IÕd rather be.Ó

And with that Brer Rabbit skedaddled on home

like a cricket hopping out of the embers, leaving Brer

Fox to think about what had just gone down.

Sista Cottontail and Brer Bear Õs Butte

One time Brer Bear stole a crock of but

Mista Man. He was right proud of himself; he

had a whole crock of butter before. And be

was mighty hard to steal, what with Mist

dogs and all guarding it. So he decided to

party to celebrate. Figured heÕd invite a who

of folk to see what heÕd done.

Now, he didnÕt want to look like a sno

figured heÕd invite the little animals first, then

animals later on. That would impress them,

But he just couldnÕt stand the idea of invit

Rabbit, on account of how mean he always

the big animals. But then he didnÕt want Bre

to be going around saying Brer Bear had so

against rabbit folk. That would make Brer B

mighty bad.

Brer Bear was stuck mighty bad as to wh

Finally, he figured itÕd be fine to invite Sista Co

instead. She and Brer Rabbit were cous

they were always at odds, so Brer Bear fig

wouldnÕt do him any harm. SheÕd be flatt

figured, since nobody ever invited her anywh

Why, maybe some good would even come

especially if she went bragging to Brer Rabb

how fine the party had been. That would m



24 25

Rabbit feel mighty bad, and Brer Rabbit feeling bad

would make Brer Bear feel mighty good.

He went down to Miss MeadowsÕ Store and got

himself some of the cheapest paper and envelopes

she had. Then he went home and smeared a dab of

butter on his paw and stamped each sheet, stuffed it

into an envelope and sent them all off.

ÒThat oughtaÕ bring Õem,Ó he said. ÒNow theyÕs

gonna like me fÕ sure.Ó

When the party time came around, Brer Bear had

done up a clearing in the woods near his lair real nice.

He stuck up some old leaves he found on the ground,

and even wrapped some poison ivy around the trees.

He put an old twisted log across two rocks, hung a

scrap of calico he found caught on a bush over it and

put the crock full of sweet butter right there for all to

see.

The guests showed up in dribs and drabs, so he

had them all sit or stand around until everybody

was there. While they were all waiting heÕd hold up

something he had and tell them how hard it had been

to ÒfindÓ and how stupid the Sheriff was for never

knowing he had it and how chicken the Sheriff was

for not trying to get it back.

About an hour later, Sista Cottontail arriv

was dressed to the nines. She was wearin

red spike heels and had a yellow and purpl

face dress on. Her hat was real nice too, m

plastic straw and covered all over with gree

grass, even had gummy worms crawling aro

hanging down. They looked so real she had

Sista Sparrow away to keep her from picking t

But her purse was the best thing of all. It loo

real gator hide and every time she snapped it

bellowed like a bull gator down in the swam

powdered her tail too, smeared jet black lip

over her lips and had eyelashes that were thre

inches longer than her ears. SheÕd even taken a

some mighty strong smelling perfume.

Brer Bear was as happy as Brer Dog at feed

to have such a fashion queen come to his par

never seen anybody fitted out so grand.

ÒHey baby!Ó she declared in a voice som

between a high pitched laugh and scream.

happeninÕ? I seen better funerals in my da

party, you hear? You there, Sista Dawg, f

somethinÕ to eat, and donÕt make it too big; I Õs

my weight, you hear.Ó



26 27

After sheÕd passed around the party, letting everybody

kiss her paw, she hopped up to Brer Bear and asked,

ÒAinÕt we havinÕ some butter at this here shindig? ThatÕs

why IÕs here. Now serve it up quick or IÕll have to call the

Sheriff to get me a lick, you hear?Ó And she let loose one

of her high pitched screaming laughs like sheÕd just saidthe funniest thing sheÕd ever heard.

ÒOkay, yÕall,Ó Brer Bear shouted at his guests. ÒSit

down anÕ shut up! YouÕre mighty lucky gittinÕ invited

here. It ainÕt every day you git a treat.

I took a mighty big risk findinÕ

this here butter, so yÕall better

appreciate what youÕre gonna

git.Ó

He took a tiny little spoon

out of his pocket and

dipped it into the

butter. Then he went

around from guest to

guest, letting each one

have an itsy bitsy lick.

ÒWasnÕt that good!Ó

he said and licked the

spoon clean. Then he

picked up the crock of

butter and carried it off into the woods. He w

to hide it good.

When he got back he popped a tape into h

box and shouted, ÒEverybody, letÕs party, NOW

Well, the other guests just stood there w

tongues hanging out and looking from side to ÒHey, Brer Bear,Ó Sista Coon finally asked,

all the butter weÕs gonna get?Ó

ÒWhattaÕ you sayinÕ?Ó Brer Bear snarle

sayinÕ IÕm cheap? Loosen up a bit anÕ maybe y

another lick . . . later on, you hear.Ó

After about an hour, Sista Cottontail h

partying so hard that she had to excuse h

powder her tail. No sooner was she out of si

she took off through the woods, heading for th

house down by the edge of the creek.

ÒYeah,Ó she said when she got there and fo

butter hidden behind a stone, Òjust like I thoug

Now, she only planned to take a lick or two,

butter tasted so sweet she couldnÕt stop hers

before she knew it she was licking the crock cle

ÒOh my!Ó she declared. ÒBrer BearÕs go

mighty bothered about this. I better get ba

right quick before he finds me here.Ó



2 2

She made sure she wiped her lips real clean before

showing her face back at the party. Lucky she did

that because she found a big dab of butter stuck to

her chin. ÒIÕll save this for later,Ó she said and stuck it

inside her purse.

By the time she got back, everybody was pesteringBrer Bear for another lick of butter. He tried putting

them off, but they kept at him so hard he had to give

in, so he took off through the woods. He wasnÕt gone

long before everybody could hear him hollering at the

top of his lungs. For a second or two Sista Cottontail

thought of hightailing it out of there, but she knew

that wouldnÕt be any good. Brer Bear would know

for sure then sheÕd stolen his butter if he found her

gone. Best thing to do was to make like she didnÕt

know a thing.

ÒYou done stole my butter!Ó Brer Bear snarled as

he charged right up to Sista Cottontail. But she just

stood her ground, looking as innocent as a lamb in

spring.

ÒWhat you talkinÕ about, Brer Bear?Ó she declared.

ÒThatÕs mighty rude of you accusinÕ a lady of stealinÕ

your butter. DidnÕt nobody ever teach you no

manners?Ó

ÒDonÕt give me none of your talk,Ó he snarl

done stole it when you gone off anÕ powdered y

ÒYou got any proof?Ó

ÒIÕm sayinÕ you done it, anÕ thatÕs proof enou

ÒWhat kinda fool are you, Brer Bear?Ó she sa

as an ice house in July. ÒDidnÕt nobody ever tthat you gotta have evidence to have proof?Ó

Well, that stumped Brer Bear. He didnÕt kn

evidence was, but he did know that he didnÕt ha

it except for what he knew. So he grabbed Sista C

and began shaking her around.

ÒIÕs got my evidence right here!Ó he snarled

would have kept shaking her until she fell ap

other guests hadnÕt made him stop.

ÒLookey here, Brer Bear,Ó Sista Rat said, Òs

take you to the judge for treatinÕ her like that.Ó

ÒThatÕs right, but I ainÕt that kinda gal,Ó Sista C

cried, wiping away tears. ÒYou want to know

your butter?Ó

ÒNow youÕre talkinÕ sense.Ó

ÒAnybody whoÕs been to school knows that

who ate as much butter as you says I stole wil

shootinÕ, give herself away.Ó

ÒHowÕs that?Ó



30 31

ÒDang! If you ainÕt one ignorant fool. The butter

seeps through their skin anÕ slicks up their belly while

theyÕs asleep. ThatÕs how.Ó

ÒWhereÕd you hear that?Ó

ÒIn school. You sayinÕ you ainÕt never been to

school? I thought you said youÕd been to college. YousayinÕ that ainÕt true?Ó

ÒYeah, I knowed that, but I just forgot.Ó

ÒIÕll tell you what you should do, Brer Bear,Ó Sista

Cottontail said. ÒYou make everybody lie right down

here in the sun anÕ take a nap. In about an hour weÕll

wake up anÕ youÕll see whoÕs guilty, for sure. If IÕm

guilty, that butter will seep up through my skin anÕ give

me away. YouÕll have evidence, fÕ sure.Ó

ÒThat sounds good. IÕs just gonna sit here anÕ wait,Ó

said Brer Bear.

ÒYou expect a guilty person to be able to fall asleep

with you starinÕ at them. I do declare, Brer Bear, folks

would think you ainÕt got the sense you was born with.

WhoÕs gonna sleep a wink if they donÕt know everybody

else is sleepinÕ too?Ó

Now, everybody agreed that what Sista Cottontail

said was true, so, figuring that they were innocent,

each last one of them lay down. Pretty soon they were

all snoring up a storm, and Brer Bear was sno

loudest of them all.

Once she was sure everybody was aslee

Cottontail peeked open one eye and looked arou

as she figured, they were gone to the world. So c

a cat sneaking up on a bird, she took that dab oout of her purse and wiped it all over Brer Bear

then she lay back down.

After a bit, somebody started to stir. It w

Skunk. She looked down at her own belly and

Then she looked around and, noticing how Bre

belly was shining, started shaking Brer Rat a

Snake awake.

ÒLook at that!Ó Sista Skunk whispered, poi

Brer Bear as she quietly woke up the other gues

no good low down dirty cheat! Why, he stole th

hisself!Ó

ÒI say he pays for his lies!Ó hissed Brer Sna

sting him good!Ó

ÒYeah, thatÕs what he deserves,Ó said Brer Ra

Just then Brer Bear woke up and, seeing th

everybodyÕs eyes, he figured he better get out

quick. And thatÕs just what he did.



32 33

Brer Rabbit Gets Paid Back in Kind

One morning while Brer Rabbit was sitting on the

porch down at Miss MeadowsÕ Store, sipping ice tea and

showing off his new gold tooth, Brer Turtle crawled out of

the tall grass.

ÒHowdy do, Brer Turtle,Ó said Miss Meadows. ÒCome

on up anÕ sit a spell.ÓÒThank you, maÕam, donÕt mind if I do.Ó

After a while, Brer Rabbit made out as if heÕd just

noticed Brer Turtle and asked what heÕd been doing with

himself.

ÒOh, not much,Ó said Brer Turtle, Òjust gettinÕ my racinÕ

license, thatÕs all.Ó

ÒRacinÕ license? You buy yourself one of them fancy

Jag-wire sports cars?Ó

ÒNo,Ó said Brer Turtle, ÒitÕs a foot racinÕ license. Sheriff

stopped me last week anÕ says I gotta get one if IÕm gonna

use the public roads.Ó

ÒAw, shucks,Ó laughed Brer Rabbit. ÒYou think I was

born yesterday?Ó

ÒNo, Brer Rabbit, itÕs true, sure Õnuf. Got the paper right

here.Ó

And Brer Turtle took a piece of paper out of his pocket

and held it out for all to see. Being that Brer Rabbit said

heÕd left his reading glasses at home, all he could do was

mutter, ÒWell, well, IÕll be.Ó

ÒBrer TurtleÕs pretty fast, I hear,Ó sang o

MeadowsÕ gal. ÒHear he beat Brer Dog last week

ÒBeat Brer Dog?Ó muttered Brer Rabbit. ÒI ain

he died; no other way he couldÕve beat him.Ó

ÒLeft Õim in the dust,Ó said Brer Turtle. ÒSure Õn

ÒWell, it ainÕt nothinÕ to beat Brer Dog. Anybofamily can do that,Ó laughed Brer Rabbit. ÒStop f

a line, Brer Turtle. Everybody knows youÕre so s

you look like youÕre standinÕ still when youÕre g

speed. Why, IÕll bet fifty dollars . . . .Ó

ÒLookey here, you two,Ó Miss Meadows sai

beatinÕ your lips anÕ have another glass of ice tea

ÒMighty kind of you maÕam,Ó said Brer Turtl

better be movinÕ along. Have to meet my trainer.

I got a shot at the Olympics. Good day, Miss M

Good day, Brer Rabbit. You come around some

maybe I can learn you a racinÕ trick or two.Ó

After Brer Turtle had crawled back into the ta

Brer Rabbit slapped his knee.

ÒIÕll be! Olympic team! Whoever heard o

thing?Ó

ÒDonÕt you worry none, Brer Rabbit,Ó sa

Meadows, filling his glass. ÒEverybody knows w

fastest foot racer around here. Why donÕt you

Buzzard anÕ have him set up a race between you

Turtle? You can have it here, SateÕday next.Ó



34 35

ÒThatÕs a mighty fine idea. It ainÕt right tÕ go bragginÕ

like Brer Turtle do. ItÕs time he got put in his place.Ó

Next day Brer Buzzard flapped over to the log where

Brer Turtle lived. After he had told Brer Turtle about Brer

RabbitÕs wanting to have a foot race on Saturday next, he

tried to give Brer Turtle some advice.ÒLook, Brer Turtle,Ó Brer Buzzard said, Òeverybody

thinks you gone crazy racinÕ Brer Rabbit. You gonna lose,

sure Õnuf. Let me just go anÕ tell Brer Rabbit somethinÕ.

I can say your wifeÕs auntÕs niece needs you to help her

move or somethinÕ, anÕ you wonÕt be free until Christmas

after next.Ó

ÒNo, thankee, Brer Buzzard, IÕs gonna win. You tell

Brer Rabbit that. Only one condition, though, the race has

to go through woods anÕ tall grass.Ó

So Brer Buzzard flapped back over to Miss MeadowsÕ

and told them all that the race was on.

When Brer Rabbit heard that, he up and laughed.

ÒIf Brer Turtle wants, IÕll race him up the rainbow anÕ

down.Ó

Now Brer Rabbit didnÕt plan on just winning. He planned

on beating Brer Turtle. He planned on beating him so bad

that Brer Turtle would never show his face around honest

folks again. So he started working out.

But Brer Turtle, he just went to bed, pulled in

and went to sleep. He slept for a week since it w

to be a mighty big race.

Come Saturday, everybody in the whole cou

down at Miss MeadowsÕ Store. They were plac

and talking up a storm. Odds were against BreNot many folk would put money on him, except

Sista Mole, but she couldnÕt tell day from night.

Brer Rabbit, he woke up early and called his

to remind them about getting a good place at t

line so they could get some good pictures when h

But Brer Turtle, he just slept in. Finally, about

before the race, he called his family to him.

ÒLookey here,Ó he said, ÒweÕs gonna win.Ó

First, he told his oldest son, who looked just

to go to the starting line and start off the race.

his daughter, who looked just like him, to go to

mile mark, where the race would come out of th

and cross the county road. He told his younges

looked just like him too) to go to the two mile mar

the race would cross over Burning Water Creek.

told his wife . . . . Yes, yes, yes, she looked just

ÒYou go down by Mista ManÕs fence.

ÒNow listen up everybody; hereÕs what weÕs go

As soon as yÕhear Brer Rabbit cominÕ along, you c



36 37

of the grass anÕ make like youÕre runninÕ to catch the last

train to Heaven. DonÕt worry if Brer Rabbit passes you by,

weÕll beat him in the end.Ó

So after some turtle hugs all around, they crawled off

to their places.

Brer Rabbit, he was ready too. Just as Brer TurtleÕs soncrawled up to the startinÕ line, Brer RabbitÕs band started

to play. My! it was a good band. It could play two or

three songs, and all from memory! After it had gotten

the crowd jazzed, it broke into the ÒRabbit Fight Song,Ó

and Brer Rabbit danced down Miss MeadowsÕ steps, his

hands clasped above his head like he was the heavyweight

champion of the world.

The crowd went wild.

My, Brer Rabbit looked good! He was wearing a bright

yellow warmup suit with an electric blue stripe down the

leg. Around his neck was slung a long silk scarf, same blue

as the stripe on his pants. And he was wearing a big gold

medal that was hanging on a real metal chain. It read Ò1st

Place!Ó

He danced around a bit, kissing babies and hugging the

gals before he stopped in the middle of the road, did a few

pushups and took a long, deep bow. He then peeled off

the warmup suit and tossed it to the crowd.

They just went wild all over again!

He was now wearing bright green runnin

and a red tank-top shirt. On his feet he had high

running shoes Ð the cool kind that blink wi

step.

ÒBrers and Sistas,Ó he cried above their chee

think youÕve come here this morninÕ to see a ryouÕve come to witness glory!Ó

It must have taken Brer Buzzard fifteen mi

quiet that crowd down Ð they were hooting and

and chanting ÒBrer Rabbit! Brer Rabbit!Ó so lo

Brer Buzzard had to flap about real close to the

to make them quiet down. Finally, Brer Buzzard

racers to take their places. Then he checked his

gun and called out, ÒOn your marks! Get set!Ó

Brer Rabbit took off down the road and w

before Brer Turtle even lifted one toe off the

line. Brer Rabbit, he somersaulted over lo

skipped across the tips of grass. He ran frontw

backwards and sidewards too. He leaped up

trees and swung from branch to branch, bellow

Tarzan and pounding his chest as he flew thro

air.

It wasnÕt hard for Little Sista Turtle to he

Rabbit coming. She slipped out of the tall gr

began crawling across the county road. She li



3

foot and put it down. She lifted a second foot and put

it down. She lifted a third foot and put it down. She

lifted a fourth foot and put it down. She lifted her first

foot and put . . . Well, you know how it goes.

By the time Brer Rabbit sprang onto the road, she

was a good thirty-two and one-half inches from whereshe had started to crawl. Catching sight of her, Brer

Rabbit came to a screeching halt.

ÒWhoa!Ó he cried. ÒHowÕd you get here so fast?Ó

ÒI jusÕ lift my first foot anÕ put it down, then I lift my

second foot anÕ put it down, then . . . .Ó

But Brer Rabbit couldnÕt listen to that. He put

to the metal and was off, leaving Little Sista Turt

dust. But she didnÕt mind. She just went on lif

foot and putting it down until she disappeared

tall grass.

After meeting Little Sista Turtle, Brer Rabbit curunning sideways stuff. He cut out the running ba

stuff too. He even cut out the Tarzan stuff, which

bad since he did that real good. He ran like he

engines strapped to his heels.

Soon he came up on Burning Water Creek.

really pouring it on. He shot out of the woods an

flying leap over the water. Just then he chanced

down. ÒAGHH!Ó he cried and crashed against th

There was Brer Turtle swimming Ð and pretty fast

stone to stone. Brer Rabbit scampered up and wthere.

Mista Man and his family, along with Sista D

her kin, had come out to watch the race. Th

sitting in the shade on little folding chairs as Bre

sped towards them through the tall grass. They

giving him a cheer when all of a sudden little Mi

cried out, ÒLook, Ma! ThereÕs Brer Turtle! See! Ri

there crawlinÕ through that tall grass.Ó

ÒWell, count my stars!Ó exclaimed Missus Ma



40 41

you believe that? HeÕs out ahead.Ó

ÒGo, Brer Turtle, go!Ó the children began to chant. Even

Sista Dog and her kin joined in.

Brer Rabbit could hardly believe his ears. Brer Turtle

out ahead again?! He shifted into high gear and roared

past Mista and Missus Man and all their kin, blowing their

hats clean off and making the dogs howl.

No way he was going to lose this race! Why, heÕd paid

two dollars and twenty-six cents for that first place medal.

Had to order it all the way from New Jersey. No sir, he

couldnÕt afford to lose that kind of cash.

Way far up ahead he could see the sun glinting off the

tin roof of Miss MeadowsÕ Store. He was almost there.

There was only Miss MeadowsÕ meadow between him

and everlasting glory. He zoomed by Sista Cow and Brer

Bull and all their little ones.

The finish line was right ahead. The gate was wide

open, and it was just about a hundred yards more. And

best of all, Brer Turtle was nowhere to be seen!

ÒGo, Brer Rabbit! Go!Ó the crowd began to yell.

He clasped his paws above his head and began prancing

sideways and even tried backwards prancing as he closed

the distance down to the last twenty-five yards.

ÒYouÕre almost there, Brer Rabbit!Ó the crowd screamed.

ÒJust another half a dozen yards to go!Ó

Brer Rabbit took a mighty flying leap an

whizzing through the air. He aimed himself for th

gate like he was an arrow aiming for a targetÕs ey

Suddenly, there was Brer Turtle crawling out o

grass right next to the gate post. He lifted up one put it down. He lifted a second foot and put it do

lifted a third foot and, as it hung over the finish

went down and touched the ground, Brer Rabbit

head over heels past Brer Turtle and crashed

against Miss MeadowsÕ porch.

The crowd gasped and fell real quiet. Th

Buzzard flapped down from the roof, flew past Bre

and lifted up Brer TurtleÕs front foot and declared

winner. The crowd went wild, dancing and holle

slapping each other on the backs. They didnÕt c

much theyÕd lost to blind old Sista Mole. It had be

race and an even better finish. It was worth eve

and dime.

Brer Rabbit started shouting something in F

suppose it was about how he got further and d

better, but I donÕt really know. Brer RabbitÕs Fre

pretty bad. And anyway, nobody was much in

in him anyhow. They had already lifted Brer Tur

their shoulders and were carrying him home.



42 43

The Cow Goes under the Ground

One day Brer Bear was coming back from fishing

on Burning Water Creek. He had a nice big string of

fish slung over his shoulder. All of a sudden, he heard

some dogs and dropped everything and took off into

the woods. Wherever dogs were, there was a good

chance the Sheriff would be close behind. ÒBetter safethan sorry,Ó he figured. There were always more sh

where those come from .

Now Brer Rabbit happened to be nearby. When

he heard Brer Bear crashing through the woods, he

figured he better find out what was going on. So he

went out onto the road. Well, wasnÕt this his lucky

day! Lying right there, for anyone to find, was a

fishing pole, a Stetson hat, and a string of nice big,

fresh fish.

It didnÕt take very long for Brer Rabbit to figureout that the hat and fishing pole belonged to Brer

Bear. His scent was all over them. But the fish, they

smelled like the river, and, as everybody knows, the

river donÕt belong to anybody.

“ Ain’t no good for sh to lie out in the sun,” Brer

Rabbit thought. “They’re gonna spoil.” So he picked

them up and headed home.

After a while, Brer Bear figured the coast was

clear, so he poked his nose out and looked around.

ÒFishing pole . . . Stetson hat . . . whereÕs m

So he began sniffing around. DidnÕt take h

to pick up Brer RabbitÕs scent. ÒBrer Rabbit’s

stole ’em,Ó Brer Bear thought, Òsure as I was b

So he went right over to Brer RabbitÕs cab

enough, when he got near that cabin his nhim that Brer Rabbit was having a fish fr

made Brer Bear mighty mad, and he storm

up to Brer Rabbit and demanded his fish bac

ÒYour fish!Ó cried Brer Rabbit. ÒThese

mine.Ó

ÒYouÕre a liar, Brer Rabbit,Ó shouted Br

ÒYou knows those fish are mine. You stole t

of me where I dropped them in the road.Ó

ÒYou mean to tell me, Brer Bear,Ó said Brer

Òthat you gone anÕ left fish lyinÕ in the roadwhat kind of fool would do that? AnÕ now y

to take my fish to make good your loss? Wh

want to cheat me like that?Ó

ÒDonÕt get smart with me,Ó snarled Bre

ÒYou knows those fish ainÕt yours, anÕ I knows

mine.Ó

Now Brer Bear was getting mighty hot un

collar, so Brer Rabbit thought he would hav

fun by pushing him around.



44 45

ÒLookey here, Brer Bear,Ó he said. ÒMaybe if youÕd

asked me nice or said you was hungry, I wouldÕve

considered sharinÕ these fish with you, but now IÕs

just gonna eat them all myself.Ó

That made Brer Bear madder than a nest of

hornets after a boy with a stick, so he started wavinghis paws and stomping his feet.

ÒThose is my fish,Ó he roared. ÒYou give them here,

or youÕs gonna be sorry.Ó

ÒDonÕt go makinÕ no threats, Brer Bear,Ó Brer

Rabbit warned. ÒYou donÕt know where they might

be leading. But just to prove that IÕm tellinÕ the truth,

you can take my beef cow if you really believe these

fish ainÕt mine.Ó

“ That should quiet him down,” thought Brer Rabbit.

“Nobody’d be fool enough to give a beef cow for some oldstring of sh .”

ÒWell, thatÕs just what IÕs gonna do,Ó growled Brer

Bear. That almost knocked Brer Rabbit down. ÒIÕs

gonna get that cow right now.Ó And he lumbered off

to Brer RabbitÕs pasture.

Brer Rabbit needed to think fast. Another minute

and Brer Bear would be taking that beef cow home.

ÒRun, Brer Bear!Ó Brer Rabbit cried, chasing after

him. ÒHere comes the Sheriff anÕ heÕs lookinÕ for you!Ó

Brer Bear didnÕt need to hear any more.

off for the woods and was gone like meat th

a dog. It was easy for Brer Bear to believe th

was coming for him; he was always doing so

wrong.

Now, as soon as Brer Bear was gone, Brehid the beef cow real good, then he took an

hide that was hanging on the wall and chopp

tail. He went back out into the middle of the

and dug himself a little hole and stuck the s

of that cow tail into it. Then he roughed up

some and called for Brer Bear.

ÒBrer Bear! Brer Bear!Ó he cried, Òthe

cow! SheÕs aÕgoinÕ underground. Come qu

Bear, you still got time to catch her if you hu

Brer Bear, he hadnÕt run very far, so wheard Brer Rabbit calling, he poked his nose o

under a bush.

ÒWhat you sayinÕ, Brer Rabbit?Ó

ÒThe cow! The cow! SheÕs aÕgoinÕ underg

Now that caused Brer Bear to break into

He looked around and asked, ÒSheriff gone?Ó

ÒHeÕs miles gone by now,Ó said Brer Rabb

if you donÕt hurry, that cow, sheÕs gonna dig

to China anÕ be gone.Ó



4

Hero TalesÒYou just keep digginÕ, Brer Bear. YouÕre mighty

big anÕ strong, anÕ she canÕt get very far with someone

like you on her tail. IÕm goinÕ now. IÕll be back soon.Ó

But Brer Bear didnÕt hear any of that. He was

digging so hard that all he could hear was the

panting of his breath and the pounding of his heart.He couldnÕt see nothing either. So he didnÕt see Miss

Meadows and her gal peering down that hole and

laughing from behind their fans. He was just too

far gone. Why, he dug and he dug and he dug, and

last I heard, heÕs digging still. And now is long past

tomorrow afternoon.



50 51

He was a small, wiry man. His movements were

restless, and his long, dark hair hung far below his

shoulders and, like his beard, had not known a razor

for years. His leggings were made of strong buckskin,

and he wrapped them with dry grass to protect against

thorns. His shirt was no more than an old sack throughwhich he had cut holes for his arms and head.

ÒAs good clothing as any man need wear,Ó he would

answer if asked why he dressed as he did.

In his early days he wore a tin cooking pot for a hat,

but after awhile, he made a tall hat with a long brim

out of strong paper to shade his eyes from the sun.

Over his shoulder he carried a large leather seed sack,

more often two, and sometimes even three. A strong

hoe served as his staff, and he never carried a weapon,

not even a knife.But it was his keen black eyes that held peopleÕs

attention. They sparkled like sunlight on a stream,

shining with the love he felt for all living things. He

had been born John Chapman in the fall of 1774, but

no one had known him by that name for years. He was

known simply as the Apple Man or Johnny Appleseed.

He was a skilled nursery man. From about 1800

when he first appeared in the Ohio Territory until his

death in 1845, he planted over one hundred thousand

The Life of Johnny Appleseed

acres of apple trees. He always raised them from

never pruning or grafting, insisting that they be a

to grow free.

ÒThatÕs the only proper way,Ó he would sa

how God wanted it to be.Ó

He collected his seeds from cider mills andcarefully washing and drying them, selected the

Come spring, he would follow the Indian paths t

the great forest, always looking for new places t

nursery beds and plant his seeds. When he cam

a beautiful sunlit glade where the soil was ri

deep, heÕd clear the brush and weeds to make n

beds for his seeds.

He said the forest spirits watched over his wo

two female angels guided his hand. After the p

was done, heÕd build a crude but strong fence on his way, seeking out a new place where he

do the same. Thus he spent each spring. Thro

summer and fall, heÕd retrace his steps and t

nurseries, fixing the fences and clearing weeds.

this lonely work year after year for close to fo

years.

Once while weeding some of his young tr

was struck by a rattlesnake. He struck back w

hoe and staggered away. But finding no woun

he returned to the spot and found the snake de



52 53

ÒPoor fellow,Ó he wept, Òyou only just touched me,

but I, in the heat of my ungodly passion, have taken your

life.Ó

Another time he noticed that the mosquitoes were

being killed by the smoke from his cooking fire. He quickly

poured water on the flames.ÒWhyÕd you do that?Ó the man traveling with him

exclaimed.

ÒGod forbid,Ó Johnny told him, Òthat I should build a

fire for my comfort and destroy any of GodÕs creatures.Ó

He loved animals and moved through the forest

without fear. If he ever came upon a wild creature in

a trap, he would set it free. If in a settlement, he saw

a horse that was neglected or abused, heÕd buy it and

find someone to restore it to health. He paid well for this

service, either with money or young apple trees. Thenwhen the animal was well again, he would use it to carry

his seeds the next spring and, when summer came, give

it to some family in need.

He planted his nurseries up and down the river valleys

of Ohio, always one step ahead of the white settlers who

carved their homesteads out of the frontier. He had a

keen feeling for where they would settle, and it was near

such places that he planted his nurseries. Then once his

trees had reached transplanting size, he would appear

on some crude doorstep and offer the settler family his

hardy young apple trees. He took coins or old

or corn meal, even promises if a family was too

pay.

His needs were simple, and he shared wha

had. Once, a man met him as he was walking b

through the snow and mud of December.



54 55

ÒItÕs a sin,Ó the man declared, Òfor a human being

to go without shoes in weather like this. Come with

me and IÕll give you some boots.Ó

Several weeks later the same man met Johnny

once again walking barefoot through the snow.

ÒWhatever became of my shoes?Ó he angrilydemanded.

ÒI met a poor man who had greater need, so I gave

them to him.Ó

In this way, he moved through the great forest as

freely as a songbird flies from tree to tree. The Indians

let him pass unharmed Ð they said he had Ògreat

medicineÓ Ð and welcomed him into their lodges,

sharing with him the secrets of the forest, especially

the healing power of its plants.

ò ô

Grown men and women remembered him from

when they had been children. Many a grandmother

or grandfather told the story of how he would arrive

at their homestead towards evening and, after

unloading his precious sacks of seed, sit off by himself

someplace and watch the sun set behind the hills.

ÒThe day I miss a display of GodÕs glory will be the

day that I die,Ó heÕd always say if someone tried to

hurry him inside. Then, once it was dark, he would

take his simple meal on their doorstep, neve

inside. He ate very little, and only what God p

from the soil, never any meat.

If there were children in the household, he w

touch a bite until he was sure they had eaten

He loved children very much, especially the litand he always gave them simple presents of

colored ribbons, which they tied in their hair o

to their plain, homemade clothes.

After eating he would come inside, sit on th

dirt floor before the hearth, and take out a b

carried several inside his shirt, and one was al

New Testament. ÒNews right fresh from Hea

would declare and, by the light of the fireÕs flam

to read. His voice was thrilling to hear, as str

loud as the roar of the wind and waves. Butalso be as soft and soothing as a warm sprin

He especially loved the words of Jesus.

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the

of heaven.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the

Blessed are they who mourn: for they

comforted.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after j

they shall have their ll.



56 57

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called

the children of God.

And finally closing his book and looking deep into theflickering flames, ÒBlessed are they who suffer persecution

for justice Õs sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.Ó

By the 1840s he was an old man, and he moved

west. The nation was growing onto the prairies of

Indiana and Illinois. Ohio was well-covered with apple

trees; he was no longer needed there. Some of his seeds

even made the long westward trip to Oregon, carried

by the ever-restless pioneers.

The world of his youth was now only a memory. Sad

to say, the Indian tribes had been pushed west acrossthe great Mississippi, and the vast eastern forest was

forever tamed.

One frigid March evening, word came to him that

cattle had broken into one of his nurseries. At the first

light of morning he made the twenty-mile trip to his

young trees. He arrived in the afternoon, and there

was much work to do. The cows had to be driven away

and the fence mended; then those trees which could be

saved needed replanting. It was only by nightfall that

his work was done. There being no settlement

he spent the night in a hollow log, as he had

done.

By morning he was ill, and it took him mos

day to find a farm where he could escape from th

wind and rain, arriving just before sunset. Hethat he be allowed to watch the sun set, but t

people who lived there carried him inside where

placed in a bed before the fire. A doctor was ca

Johnny refused the manÕs help.

ÒMy heavenly bride is waiting to welcome

whispered before asking to be read Ònews rig

from Heaven.Ó

Morning found his spirit gone, and the body

carried it peaceful and calm, a contented smile

its lips.



5 5

Sweet Betsy

Oh, do you remember Sweet Betsy from Pike,

Who crossed the wide prairie with her lover Ike?With two yoke of oxen, a big yellow dog,

A tall Shanghai rooster, and one spotted hog.

Sing toorali, oorali, oorali ay;

Sing toorali, oorali, oorali ay.

They soon reached the desert, where Betsy gave out,

And down in the sand she lay rolling about,

While Ike in great terror looked on in surprise,

Saying, ÒGet up now, Betsy, youÕll get sand in your eyes.Ó

Sing toorali, oorali, oorali ay;Sing toorali, oorali, oorali ay.

The wide lonesome desert was burning and bare,

And Ike cried in fear, ÒWe are lost, I declare!

My dear old Pike County, IÕll go back to you.Ó

Said Betsy, ÒYouÕll go by yourself, if you do.Ó



The Shanghai ran off and the cattle all died

The last piece of bacon that morning was fr

Poor Ike got discouraged, and Betsy got ma

The dog wagged his tail and looked wonder



They swam the wide rivers and crossed the

They camped on the prairie for weeks upon

They fought off the Indians with musket and

And reached California in spite of it all.



– T



60 61

Keelboat Annie Christmas

Like her parents before her,

Annie Christmas had been

born into bondage, but the

War Between the States put

an end to that, or so people

said. And like her mamaand daddy, she worked the

Mississippi River wharfs down

in New Orleans. She did what was needed to get by.

Her daddy worked as a longshoreman; he loaded

and unloaded the big steamboats that lined the wharfs

as far as the eye could see. Her mama made pies and

sold them to the endless streams of passengers who

flowed on and off those great boats like the water

that flowed down that mighty stream.

Annie was a big girl and strapping strong, standingsix feet eight inches tall and weighing near two hundred

and fifty pounds. Her skin was as black as coal, and

her eyes sparkled as beautifully as the brightest stars

in the night sky. She could carry a barrel of flour

tucked under each arm, balance a bale of cotton on

her head and ride another barrel by rolling it under

her feet.

And she didnÕt need to worry any about people

getting run down. Her voice was as loud as a fog

horn and a steam boat whistle calling to each

through the fog. SheÕd get that barrel rollin

holler, ÒComing through!Ó Even the paint would

off a wall to get out of her way.

One day when Annie was getting on sixteen

of age, her mama and daddy up and got the yfever and lay down and died. Now, Annie knew

no good ever came from crying over what you

ever have, especially whatÕs gone. So when they

she took the four dimes, three nickels and nine pe

she found tied up in mamaÕs kerchief and went

to the wharfs, looking for a game of chance.

Now, finding a game of chance on a wharf in

Orleans was as easy as finding a dog near a but

door. Every ten paces or so thereÕd be a hun

up bunch of men shooting dice or playing cabetting on whether this man was stronger tha

man. She only had to take her pick and push he

in.

ÒMake me some room, boys!Ó she hollered

pack of gamblers shooting dice. ÒLady LuckÕs st

before ya, anÕ sheÕs gonna get rich.Ó And she

two pennies down on the ground with a laug

said. ÒMatch that if you can.Ó

ÒWell, IÕll be,Ó sneered Bad Eye Billy, a slick-lo



62 63

gambling man with a shiny gold tooth and a tall silk

hat. ÒAinÕt never tossed dice with a woman before.Ó

ÒWell,Ó said Annie, ÒnowÕs your chance, if youÕre

man enough to try.Ó

ÒLetÕs have some fun, boys,Ó laughed Billy, and he

laid a shiny bright twenty-five cent piece down nextto AnnieÕs two pennies. ÒI raise you. Match that, or

do you have to take in some more wash?Ó

And all the men laughed.

Well, a puny little fellow like Bad Eye Billy wasnÕt

going to get away with that kind of talk, so Annie

laid down three dimes and a nickel right beside those

other three coins.

ÒPut up or shut up,Ó she said, looking right into

BillyÕs one good eye.

ÒOh!Ó he said, shaking his hands. ÒThatÕs mightybig talk. Guess we ought to be scared, eh, boys?

Now look here, little lady,Ó sneered Bad Eye Billy

as he matched AnnieÕs bet, Òjust to show you IÕm a

gentleman, IÕll let you roll first.Ó

Annie scooped up the dice and cradled them in

her hand. She blew on them, shook them around

and with a whisper of ÒDo me right!Ó she let them fly.

Those two dice danced across the ground and rolled

to a stop.

A four and a three.

ÒSeven!Ó Annie cried. ÒDice, you done me rig

But as Annie reached down for her winnin

Eye Billy laid one hand on hers and drew a b

fighting knife.

ÒI ainÕt never been beat by a woman, and I ainto start,Ó he warned. ÒThat moneyÕs mine.Ó

ÒWell,Ó said Annie, ÒyouÕre wrong there, Mr Ga

Man.Ó And she slapped the knife right out o

hand while grabbing hold of his arm. Then she

him over her shoulder, scooped up her winnin

before he hit the ground, grabbed him in mid ai

ÒNow, donÕt ever you say you ainÕt ever been

a woman, or IÕll be back, you hear?Ó And she g

Eye Billy such a kick in the behind that he wen

off into the river.Then spinning around fast as a panther, she

herself to take on the rest of those gambling m

they werenÕt in any mood for a swim. They ju

their hands out before themselves and back

cooing stuff like, ÒHe had that cominÕÓ and ÒTh

fine, honey, right fine.Ó

After whupping Bad Eye Billy, word travel

She had her hands full with gambling men who

to take her on. As soon as a river boat would pu



64 65

the wharf, some gambling man would be asking around

where he could find Òthat gambling gal.Ó And sure as

waterÕs wet, she wrung each one of those gamblers dry.

She had a necklace of fresh water pearls made up Ð one

pearl for each man she beat Ð and pretty soon it was

three yards long.With time, she won enough money to find herself a

husband and start a family. She was mighty picky about

her man, though. He had to be as tall and as strong and

as honest and as black as she. Nothing less would do.

And it was a good thing too, because they had twelve

sons, all born on the same day, each one as fine and as

grand as the one beside him.

When those boys were born, she said to her husband

John, ÒWeÕre moving on. This city ainÕt fit for raisinÕ

children in, too many bad people around. Give me theriver anytime; it knows exactly where itÕs goinÕ.Ó

At first, she tried to buy a steamboat, but that wasnÕt

allowed, so she settled for a keelboat instead Ð a nice

long one with great sweeping oars. She had her husband

build her a nice house in its middle. Then she named it

the Big River’s Daughter and started rowing upstream,

her baby boys, six to an oar, helping her row while her

husband worked the tiller in the stern.

Annie worked the Mississippi River from St.

New Orleans for near twenty years. She worked

good times and through bad times, carrying cot

lumber and cattle and whatever upriver and do

could take one of those mighty oars in each h

row the Big River’s Daughter all by herself if thereneed.

She fought river pirates and raced steam boa

gambled the slickest gamblers and rassÕled w

strongest keelboat men that river had ever see

she won every time. One time even, she arm

the famous Mike Fink, but she didnÕt make muc

whupping him. After all, he was pretty old by t

For every match she won, she added anoth

water pearl to that necklace of hers. So by the

boys had grown into men and her husband Jo joined his Maker, that necklace was thirty feet lo

had to wrap it around and around and around h

so it didnÕt drag in the water.

One day Annie said to herself, ÒIÕm gettinÕ too

this kind of work; itÕs time I rested a bit. But

gonna find me some brides for my boys.Ó

So she packed up all the fine things she want

brides to have, filled twelve purses with gold co

headed upriver. My! That was a sight to see Ð

Saving the Natchez Queen



66 67

strapping tall black men, all in the glory of their youth,

their bodies glistening with sweat as they rowed against

the stream, one to an oar and six to a side of the Big

River’s Daughter , with Annie herself in the stern, her firm

hand on the tiller.

At each big river town, Annie swung the Big River’sDaughter up to the wharf and sent word that she was

looking for a bride for one of her boys. ÒAnyone interested

better get on down to the wharf right quick, you hear,

before theyÕre gone.Ó After the courting was done, sheÕd

throw the finest wedding party that town had ever seen,

and when it was time to head on upriver, sheÕd give the

new bride a purse full of gold coins.

ÒTake good care of this and my boy, honey,Ó sheÕd say

with a hug and a kiss. ÒTheyÕre both pretty dear.Ó

At every town, she did the same until by the time shegot to St. Louis, she was all alone.

Now, Annie had always wanted to treat herself to a

first class ticket on the Natchez Queen , the finest steamboat

that old river had ever seen. But she was flat broke. All

she had left were two pennies to her name, but they were

the lucky pennies she had bet against Bad Eye Billy, and

she knew a whole lot of their luck still remained.

ÒWell,Ó she laughed, smiling at the coins, Òwe been

here before, anÕ maybe weÕre gonna be here again, but

youÕre gonna win us a ride on the Natchez Queen , a

goinÕ first class.Ó

Word spread fast that Keelboat Annie was

for a game. There wasnÕt a gambling man in a

Louis who didnÕt want to test his luck and skill

hers. So by late morning the wharf was covegamblers eager for their chance. She beat them

after the other, and by sundown sheÕd filled a fe

so full of gold coins that she had to toss the little

dollar pieces away to make room for the big

dollar coins.

ÒWell, boys, thanks for the games,Ó she laugh

I can hear that steamboat whistle calling Ôall a

anÕ thatÕs just what IÕm gonna do.Ó

Those gambling men were so proud to have

a game against Annie Christmas (who caredlost!) that they paraded her down to the Natche

hooting and hollering all the way, but the cap

ornery man, was waiting on the first class ga

when they got there, blocking her way.

ÒYou ainÕt ridinÕ on this here steamboat,Ó he d

Òunless itÕs deck class. ThatÕs the way itÕs alwa

anÕ always gonna be for your kind. So donÕt go

no trouble. Go anÕ git yourself a place on those

cotton over there. And stay out of my way, see



6 6

Annie wouldnÕt have any of that, and some of the

gambling men were ready to back her up too. Several

had drawn their pistols, and the whole bunch was itching

for a fight. So when the captain saw that the odds were

against him, he backed down, but not without cussing

the whole pack of them out and swearing revenge too.After ordering the deck hands to tie the Big River’s

Daughter to the stern so she could tow it behind, Annie

climbed up to her stateroom and settled herself in. It was

the finest room sheÕd ever seen Ð all velvet and satin and

gilded to the nines. It was a four-day trip from St. Louis

down to New Orleans, and she enjoyed every second of

it. Once or twice, itÕs true, the captain would ask the

sheriff from some little no-account town to come aboard

and try to drive her off, but she made short order of that

kind.When they were only a few hours out of New Orleans,

a big storm came up. The lightning slashed through the

night sky, and the rain beat down like it was NoahÕs

flood all over again. The river galloped and raged, full

of washed-away trees and all sorts of other dangerous

things, just waiting to snag the underside of a river boat

and sink her once and for all.

It got mighty slow going, and the captain wanted to

make up time, so he decided to take a new cut-off that

had formed across one of the twisty bends of t

He knew that it was taking a chance, but h

reckless man. As he was turning the Natchez Qu

the cut-off, Annie sensed what was going on an

up to the pilot house and burst through the doo

ÒWhat in tarnation you doinÕ?Ó she cried. ÒYto get us all drowned?Ó

ÒGit out of here, woman,Ó the captain

pointing a pistol at AnnieÕs heart.

Well, she knew better than to argue with

man with a gun, so she backed off. But once bac

rain-swept deck, looking out at the trees bobb

and sticking up out of the river, she knew, gu

gun, that, unless she did something, the Natch

was doomed. So she turned right around.

ÒYou turn this boat about!Ó she cried abroaring wind. ÒI know this river, and this cut

full of snags, weÕre lucky she ainÕt sinkinÕ alread

ÒYou git out!Ó the captain snarled. ÒI ainÕt h

slave girl tell me what to do!Ó And he fired a sh

it splintered the wood next to her head. She did

for that crazy man to pull the trigger again; she

gun out of his hand and tossed it overboard.

ÒNow, you turn this boat about or youÕre t

swim.Ó



70 71

Just then the boat hit a snag. Annie was out the

door and down on the main deck in a lightning flash.

She fought her way back to the stern, praying all the

while that the Big River’s Daughter was still being towed

behind.

ÒPraise the Lord!Ó she cried when she saw that therope had held. Then taking that rope in both her mighty

hands she pulled her keelboat up along side the Natchez

Queen and bound it tight, bow and stern.

By now the Natchez Queen was starting to go down.

The captain threw open the door of the pilot house and,

shaking his fists like a madman, raved at the storm.

People poured out of their cabins, wild with fear and

screaming for their lives!

ÒStop your caterwauling,Ó Annie bellowed above the

roar of the wind, ÒanÕ git on board this here keelboat! Butdo it quick Õcause this steamboat, sheÕs goinÕ down!Ó

All the people swarmed off the Natchez Queen and

onto the Big River’s Daughter . The steamboatÕs crew

jumped on too, and the captain swore heÕd kill any man

that abandoned his ship, but they didnÕt listen to that.

Annie grabbed an ax and, with two mighty swings, cut

the keelboat loose. In an instant it was caught in the

powerful current and was rushing downstream.

Annie took hold of the two mighty oars that

could command and, bending her back against

of the whole Mississippi River, stroked with ev

she had. Waves smashed over the bow. Eve

around her, people were huddled together, cr

praying and screaming in the wind and the ra

with all the strength God had given her and all of



72 73

John Henry was about three days old,

SittinÕ on his papaÕs knee.

He picked up a hammer and a little piece of s

Said, ÒHammerÕs gonna be the death of me, L

HammerÕs gonna be the death of me.Ó

John Henry, he could hammer,

He could whistle, he could sing.

Went to the mountÕn early in the morn

Just to hear his hammer ring, Lord, Lord.

Just to hear his hammer ring.

The captain said to John Henry,

ÒGonna bring that steam drill Õround.

Gonna bring that steam drill out on the job.

Gonna whop that steel on down, down, dow

Whop that steel on down.Ó

John Henry told his captain,

ÒA man ainÕt nothinÕ but a man,

But before I let your steam drill beat me dow

IÕd die with a hammer in my hand, Lord, Lor

IÕd die with a hammer in my hand.Ó

kind, she pushed on those oars once again, and the Big

River’s Daughter began to move upstream.

It took her all night to get free of that cut-off and get

into riverÕs main channel, but she did it. Then she let

go of the oars, ran back to the tiller and guided the Big

River Õs Daughter safely to the shore. Once sheÕd tied theboat fast and helped all the people to land, she looked

around at the Big River Õs Daughter one last time and sank

to the ground.

Folk say her great heart burst from the strain.

Her sons were summoned and, six to a side and each

with his wife beside him, they carried her jet black coffin

out to the bow of the Big River Õs Daughter . The keelboat

was then towed down to the mouth of the Mississippi

where it was set ablaze and given over to the riverÕs

mighty current and carried majestically out to sea.

John Henry



74

John Henry hammered in the mountain.

His hammer was striking fire.

But he worked so hard, he broke his poor heart.

He laid down his hammer and he died, Lord, Lord.

He laid down his hammer and he died.John Henry had a little woman

And her name was Polly Ann.

She picked up his hammer, walked to the mountain.

Polly Ann drove steel like a man, Lord, Lord.

Polly Ann drove steel like a man.

They took John Henry to the graveyard

And buried him in the sand

And every train that comes roaring by

Says ÔThere lies a steel driving man, Lord, Lord.There lies a steel driving man.Õ

Well, every Monday morning

When the bluebirds begin to sing,

You can hear John Henry a mile or more,

You can hear John HenryÕs hammer ring, Lord, Lord.

You can hear John HenryÕs hammer ring.

– Traditional

Tall Tales

h f k



76 77

The Coming of Davy Crockett

YÕall have heard of Davy Crockett, right? If not,

listen up. Now, some folk say the stories about him

ainÕt true. But let me tell you, those folk got it wrong,

not that IÕm calling them liars. TheyÕre probably just

ignorant or maybe jealous. You can look him up, and

you can see when he was born and when he died.You canÕt get more real than that. But if you look him

up in one of them encyclopedias, you know, them big

books that say most everything about everything,

youÕll find they left out a whole bunch of stuff. But

donÕt you worry none; IÕll set it all down.

LetÕs start with how Davy came into this world.

HereÕs how it happened. A comet once shot out of

the sky and hit a mountain top in Tennessee. Folks

that was watching says a baby boy tumbled off that

there comet and landed on his feet. He was holding abolt of lightning (heÕd grabbed it from a thunderstorm

while coming down) in his right hand and a fist full

of thunder in his left. Folks that saw it says he was

aÕraring to go. That was how Davy Crockett came

into this world.

Davy walked down that mountain side and

began to holler, ÒI can slide down the slippery end

of the rainbow! IÕm half horse, half alligator and

half snapping turtle. And I can outrun, outlick and

outholler any ring-tailed howler east of the Mi

River, and that counts for anything in Texas

Now, there donÕt seem to be nothing od

that, if you ask me. Except maybe the pa

his landing on his feet, but all his talk doesn

me any trouble. I know of lots of folk that waÕraring to go, so anyone with a lick of sense

the rest of itÕs true too.

When Davy was a baby, his cradle was

of a six-hundred pound snapping turtle, and

eat so much bear meat and drink so much

milk that he could lick twice his weight in w

with one hand tied behind his back. Some f

the part about one hand behind his back ai

but theyÕre wrong.

Why? Listen up; hereÕs the evidence if yto get picky about it. I met a fella once who

knew a fella whose second cousinÕs neighbor

from someone who knew someone who was

in a cabin nearby when it happened.

By the time Davy was eight years old, he

close to two hundred pounds, and thatÕs

shoes off, his belly empty and his feet dry.

shouldnÕt he be able to run like a fox, swim

eel, and scream like a panther? You tell me. A



7

Davy himself wrote all that stuff down in a magazine,

and I seen that magazine once, so I know itÕs true.

Now sure, I admit that Davy liked to brag a bit.

But why shouldnÕt a fellow be allowed to brag a bit,

especially one who could lick six wildcats, four grizzly

bears and one squirrel, and all in his sleep. Admit it,youÕd brag too if you could even whip a mosquito in

your sleep, and thatÕs nothing compared to what Davy

done. Sure, IÕll grant you, he might have stretched

that part about the squirrel a bit.

But hereÕs a story thatÕll set your mind at ease.

One time Davy was stuck in a thunderstorm out in

the middle of the woods. He had been hiking all day

at about ten miles a minute and was mighty hungry,

so he tore up a hickory tree and chomped it down,

roots and all, just to quiet his belly. Then he beganlooking for something a little more filling to eat. Just

as he was pushing some trees out of his way, he sees

two eyes, burning like coals and looking right into

his.

ÒWell, hello there,Ó says Davy. ÒIÕm Davy Crockett,

and IÕm real hungry, so how about you and me seeinÕ

who eats who for dinner?Ó

Just then a bolt of lighting cracked open the sky

and Davy finds himself eyeball to eyeball with the

biggest, baddest, hungriest panther a huma

has ever laid eyes on. That varmint was c

down, ready to spring, and all around him wa

and skulls piled up like a pumpkin patch at Ha

Davy knew him at once; it was Big Eater.

Before Davy could beg his pardon and bof there, the panther let tear a scream that m

thunder and lighting turn tail, leaving the

hanging above the ground, not knowing wh

to go. Now, DavyÕs as peace-loving as

the next fella and wouldÕve been

happy enough to leave Big Eater

there on that pile of bones,



0 1

but Big Eater, he just let tear another scream that

was so loud it made the rain go dry.

I donÕt know about you, but if I was in such a fix IÕd

have a pretty hard time coming up with something

smart to say. But Davy, he had no trouble, no siree,

no trouble at all. He looked that panther right inthe eye and asked, all polite and all, ÒWant to sing a

duet?Ó

But Big Eater, he just screamed again, and this

time the sunshine tried to hide behind the thunder

and lightning. Why, the sun ran backwards so fast

that when the scream began it was Friday but by

the time it was over it was Wednesday of the week

before. Naturally, all that time gave Davy time to

come up with something smart to say.

ÒIÕm gettinÕ mighty serious now,Ó warned Davy,but Big Eater didnÕt know much English, so he just

kept glaring at Davy, his eyes blazing and his tongue

licking his chops.

Now, it didnÕt look good for talking this trouble

away, so Davy crouched down and got to grinding

his teeth too. He was grinding his teeth so loud that

it sounded like a thousand horsepower saw mill

chewing through a mess of trees. Then Davy got to

growling his growl. He was growling so loud that it

sounded like ten thousand boulders rolling

mountainside and then rolling back up, bang

each other a bit before deciding to roll bac

again.

So there they crouched Ð Davy and Big

grinding and growling like there was no tomAnd all the time the rain was pouring up into

pulling all the water with it and making th

place dry as a desert. Then with a final g

growl, they was at each other, rassÕling for

dinner.

Just as Big Eater was turning Davy into s

and meat balls, Davy gives him a one-tw

right under the jaw that sent him flying b

onto the ground. Then Davy was on him. H

to twist and squeeze that panther so hard thblack got squeezed clean out of his fur, and t

varmint turned milk white. This was too m

Big Eater! He cried uncle (only English word

except grrrr ), and Davy let him go.

ÒLook, Big Eater,Ó says Davy, ÒI ainÕt aÕgo

a good olÕ boy like you, but I sure ainÕt aÕgon

you here in these woods to get yÕself more

skulls and bones. IÕm a-takinÕ you home with

aÕgonna learn you some manners.Ó

Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwin



2 3

So Davy led Big Eater out of the forest and back

to his cabin. There he learned him all kinds of stuff

that came in handy. He learned Big Eater how to

sit in church and fold his paws and sing tenor in the

choir. He also learned him how to plow a garden

with his claws, and best of all, he learned him how

to light the fire at night just by glaring at it with his

glowing eyes.

From then on they were the best of friends, and

when Davy ran for Congress, he rode Big Eater all

the way to Washington, D.C., where that panther

helped him get them big city congressmen to vote

the way Davy thought they should.

Now I read all this in DavyÕs book, and a lot more

too. If you want, IÕll tell you some more. But first I

has to tell you all about a certain gal who also camefrom them there parts.

Now out in the wild country of Kentuck

was this husband and wife who had eight

when the wife was aÕfixinÕ to have anoth

them boys was planning on a male child. T

thereÕd be enough boys for a baseball team

having to walk the twenty miles through th

and swamps to find some neighbor boy wh

come out and play.

But the baby was born a girl child.

As soon as she came into the world and

around, she let loose a holler as loud and

a steamboat whistle. She could talk too.

what she said: ÒHowdy! IÕm Sally Ann Thun

Whirlwind. You must be my ma! Glad tÕm

Got sumpÕtin tÕeat?Ó

ÒWell, IÕll be!Ó cried her pa. ÒThe girl ctalk!Ó

ÒI sure can,Ó she hollered. ÒI can outtalk,

outscream, outswim, and outrun any baby

girl, in all of Kentucky, and you might as we

in Texas and Tennessee too!Ó

ÒBut sheÕs a girl!Ó cried her brothers.

ÒI sure am. Got somethinÕ agin it?Ó

And she jumped right down out of her ma

strode over to her eight brothers and looke

one by one, right in the eye.

Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwin



4 5

ÒWanna race?Ó she asked.

ÒShe couldnÕt outrun a stone,Ó jeered one boy.

ÒWell, IÕm ready to try! IÕll race you to the top of

that there mountain anÕ back again anÕ beat you fÕsure.

On your mark, get set, go!Ó

And she was off Ð up that there mountain and back

down again before even one of her brothers could raise

his foot off the starting line.

ÒBut I bet she canÕt swim,Ó muttered another.

ÒWell, IÕm ready to try!Ó

And before another word was said sheÕd run across

the field and jumped into the river and was splashing

up the water like a steamboatÕs paddlewheel. Everyone

ran after, of course. But when they got to the river, she

was nowhere to be found.

ÒShe done drowned,Ó said one of the brothers.ÒThatÕs what she done; she done drowned.Ó

But Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind hadnÕt

drowned. No, siree! She was fishing with the otters.

Sure enough was. She shot right up out of the water,

juggling eleven trout, one for each member of her

family. Why, she juggled them fish like she had been

raised in a circus.

ÒGrease the fryinÕ pan!Ó she cried. ÒMy bellyÕs a-

growlinÕ for these here fish to be aÕfryinÕ!Ó

Word got around, and folks came from mil

to see Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind. On

even set out from Paris, France, to see her, but

a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in Chin

he bought an American-talking cow from a be

Now Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind di

of amazing things.

When she was one year old, she won the K

Derby, but the horses claimed it wasnÕt fair and w

run any more unless she gave back the crown

think that was very nice of them. After all she

two legs and each one of them had four.

Then when she was four she beat the state ch

arm-rassÕler, but he too claimed it wasnÕt fair

sheÕd sat on a box on the seat of her chair.

And then when she was seven, she beat champion tug-of-war team. There was two

and twenty-four of them on that team Ð all bee

But she snapped that rope like a whip, and tho

flipped up into the air and didnÕt come bac

to earth until they heard the supper bell ring

afternoon.

She also won a grinning contest once aga

sun, but the sun said it would stop shining if S

Thunder Ann Whirlwind got the reward, so sh



7

sun have it. After all, what did she care; she knew

sheÕd beat it fair and square.

And when her eighth birthday came around, she

wouldnÕt have any part of candles or cake. She just

threw open the cabin door and declared, ÒIÕm off to

the frontier! See yÕall around.Ó

For several years, she lived with the wild varmints

out in the forest. She learned how to hunt like a wolf

and how to chew down trees like a beaver. She loved

the wilderness, but winter she found a bit hard.

One night she crawled into a bear den to ge

Cuddled up close to a big warm grizzly bear

asleep, but that varmint woke up, and, findi

he took for his breakfast lying in his arms, he

wide his jaws and roared.

She jumped up and flashed that grizzly b

a grin that it blinded him. He fell over as if

bolt of lighting and rolled away from her as f

could, rolling right across the razor-sharp ici

stuck out all over the place. Those icicles

him from head to toe. Then when he saw

was stark naked in front of a girl, he scram

of there as fast as he could.

ÒThat sure was a mighty close shave for

us,Ó Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind lau

she picked up her new bearskin coat. She wherself up real good in it and set out to see so

of the world.





YÕall heard of the Mississippi River, I hope. ItÕs

one mighty big river and was dug by a fellow called

Paul Bunyan who needed to . . . , but you can read

all about that later on. The Mississippi River is so

wide that if a stone tries to skip across it, the stone

has to stop about mid-stream, catch its breath and

tread water for a while before going on. And even

then about only half the stones make it across, unless

Davy Crockett or maybe George Washington threw

them.

One day Davy was strolling along the Mississippi

River when he saw a keelboat out about mid-stream.

IÕll save you the time of looking up or remembering

what a keelboat is. TheyÕre big flat bottom rafts that

have long sweeping oars; they were real popular

back then. Now, a keelboat usually can only floatdownstream, but this here keelboat was going up

stream. Without oars! And fast too! Faster than two

steamboats trying to win a race! That didnÕt seem

right, so Davy dove in and swam out to get a look-

see.

When he got up close he saw a red-headed fella

just downstream of the boat, and he was pushing the

keelboat upstream with his head. The fella would

take a big gulp of air and then stroke the water like

he was beating eggs. The keelboat would then

few miles upstream and the fella would lift his r

out of the water and take another gulp of air

stroking a bit more. DavyÕd never seen anythin

so he swam up along side.

ÒHello there. If you donÕt mind my saying so

said, all polite, Òbut that keelboatÕs aÕgonna r

downstream as soon as it hits some fast water

The fella gave the keelboat a good hard pus

to get himself some room and looked Davy sq

the eye.

ÒOh, you donÕt know beans from bucksh

cock-a-doodle-do,Ó the red-headed fella shot ba

Now, Davy hadnÕt been in a scrape in over

so he was itching to get something going.

ÒWell!Ó exclaimed Davy. ÒI donÕt care a Johnabout you either. IÕll whup you right here.Ó

ÒYou anÕ what army of devils?Ó laughed

headed fella. ÒWhy donÕt we just hop up on t

keelboat anÕ settle this right here anÕ now?Ó

Nothing could have pleased either of them

so they pulled themselves up onto the keelbo

started circling each other like a bull and

getting ready to dance.

Davy brought his knuckles together like



0 1

bolts and sparks flew out and set the deck on fire.

The red-headed fella just laughed at that, spit out the

fire and let loose a bellow that blew all the leaves off

the trees on both sides of the river.

Davy, he just laughed back at that and began

flapping his arms and cock-a-doodle-doing like a

rooster. He cock-a-doodle-dooed so loud that the sun

thought it was dawn and skedaddled over the horizon

and rose a second time. The red-headed fella found

that so lame that he almost fell down laughing. But

to show who was boss, he curved his neck, stomped

his feet and neighed like a horse.

ÒOoh! IÕm scared!Ó laughed Davy, and he thumped

his fists against his chest and roared like a gorilla.

The red-headed fella lowered his head, scratched his

feet across the deck and bellowed like a bull. ThenDavy arched his back, bared his teeth and screamed

like a panther.

The two of them kept this up for while Ð flapping

and cock-a-doodle-doing, stomping and neighing,

thumping and roaring, and bellowing and screaming,

all the while circling each other until they were plumb

worn out and fell down on the deck.

After a while Davy propped himself up on one

elbow and said, ÒI donÕt know about you, stranger,

but that felt mighty good.Ó

ÒIÕm feelinÕ pretty good myself,Ó said

headed fella.

ÒBy the way,Ó said Davy, reaching out h

Òwe ainÕt never been formally introduced. My

Crockett, Davy Crockett.Ó

ÒMineÕs Fink, Mike Fink. Mighty glad to m

at last.Ó

ÒSame here,Ó said Davy. ÒYouÕre almost a

as me in these here parts.Ó

At those bragging words, Mike Fink sp

his feet, clenched his fists and began circlin

all over again. But Davy, he just rolled over

back and, cradling his head in his hands, st

laugh. He laughed and laughed and laughed

bit, all Mike Fink could do was start to laugh

He could laugh just as good as Davy, and hgoing to be out-laughed.

Why, those two tried to out-laugh each

hard that they didnÕt stop laughing until the

off that keelboat and had to swim for shor

careful to turn that into a contest too.

Sally Ann Saves DavyÕs Life



2 3

Sally Ann Saves Davy s Life

One day Davy was out hunting bear with his bare

hands and he got so tuckered out that he lay down

to take a snooze. Well, somehow, donÕt ask me, he

got his head stuck in the crotch of tree while he was

snoozing. That tree was one of those fast growing

kind. You know, the kind they use to make wheels

for racing buggies out of. So by the time Davy woke,

he was stuck so tight that there was no way he was

going to get himself loose.

Well, Davy roared and hollered and bellowed so

loud that the leaves shook off the trees. He bellowed

and hollered and roared so much that a hurricane

that was nearby came over to learn how to make as

much noise. The hurricane was so impressed that it

called its friend the tornado over, and both of them

whirled around Davy, listening and picking up tips

for awhile, before heading off to try out what theyÕd

learned.

It was looking mighty bad for Davy, what with the

tree squeezing his head and all and the rain left over

from the hurricane dripping onto his face. Then to

make matters worse, a pair of eagles flew down and

started plucking the hair out of his head. They needed

it for making their nest, and they wouldnÕt let him be,

no matter how much he hollered and howled.

Just as Davy was about to give himself up fo

he heard a girlÕs voice ask, ÒWhatÕs the matter,

Get attacked by a tree?Ó

Davy looked over and saw the finest little

ever seen coming out of the woods. She was a

hickory sapling and had arms as thick and stro

mast of a ship. She was wearing a grizzly bear

most amazing of all, a hornetsÕ nest for a hat.

“ My, ain’t she something !” Davy thought. So he

to get her look-see, ÒIÕd be much obliged, sweetie

Ò. . . DonÕt you call me Ôsweetie.Õ Ó

ÒBeg your pardon, maÕam, but if you could

birds out of my hair anÕ my head free, IÕd be muc

Do it for me anÕ IÕll git you a pretty little comb.Ó

ÒI donÕt want no comb from you nor any oth

she said. ÒI can rake mÕ hair well enuf with mÕ fneeds to. But seeinÕ what a fix youÕve got your

help you out.Ó

First she tried to shoo the eagles away,

wouldnÕt have none of that. Fought back like de

all, they had a nest to build. So she let loose

that could turn sugar into salt. It was so po

balded those eagles, knocked the feathers clean

heads, and they became as tame as a pair of do



4

ÒMy!Ó Davy exclaimed, Òyou got some voice there.Ó

ÒSure do,Ó she boasted. ÒI ainÕt like some of them

dainty woman folk who canÕt raise their voice higher

than their nose. I can outscream a panther anÕ outroar

a bear. Why, I can jump over my own shadow, anÕ I

can outrun a bolt of greased lightning, anÕ I can pull a

steamboat off a sand bar with one hand.Ó

ÒMy, she sure can brag,Ó Davy thought. HeÕd never seen

anything like her, but just then she done something that

made even him surprised. She shook out the sack she

was carrying, and a dozen of the biggest rattlesnakes he

ever had seen fell out, hissing and rattling and spitting,

onto the ground.

ÒYes, siree!Ó she went on as she tied them rattlesnakes

together into a rope and looped one end of it around

a branch of the tree, ÒI can outgrin, outrun, outsnort,

outhowl, outlift, outsneeze, outsleep, outtalk any varmint

between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, anÕ that counts

for any critter liv inÕ in Texas too.Ó

Then with one hand she gave that snake rope a mighty

tug and with the other pulled Davy free. Well, he tried

to stand up, being that was the polite thing to do in the

company of a lady. But as soon as he got half way to

his feet, his head he became so dizzy that he plumb fell

down.



6 7

ÒAll tuckered out?Ó she asked, bending over him for

a closer look. My, he was the handsomest man sheÕd

ever seen. Pretty strong looking, too, even if given to

fainting when he got a little scratch on his head. But

he would do. Good men were hard to find, and sheÕd

been looking for one for awhile. So she picked him up

and tossed him into a nearby creek to bring him to.

ItÕd clean him up too; he smelt awful bad.

While Davy was coming to, she thought she ought

to pretty herself up a bit, so she grabbed a stick and

stirred up her hornetÕs nest hat a bit. All that buzzing

gave her style. Then she caught a skunk that was

slipping by in the woods and sprayed herself with it.

Nothing better, not even French perfume. She was

getting ready to smear her lips with some bear grease

when Davy sputtered awake and stood up.

ÒThankee, maÕam,Ó he said. ÒMy nameÕs Davy,

Davy Crockett. WhatÕs yourn?Ó

ÒSally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind, but if you

watch your manners, you can call me Sally Ann for

short.Ó

Well, from then on Davy was crazy in love with

Sally Ann. He couldnÕt stop thinking about her from

morning until night. He even went around and asked

all the folks he knew what they knew about her.

ÒOh! She can dance a rock to pieces an

panther bareback!Ó

ÒI seen her crack a walnut with her front t

ÒI heard she once crossed the Mississippi

her right foot, using her apron for a sail and

foot for a rudder.Ó

ÒSheÕs mighty funny,Ó said another, Ò

laugh the bark off a pine tree.Ó

ÒShe likes to whistle,Ó the preacher said.

saw her whistle out of one side of her mou

she ate with the other and grinning with the

part too.Ó

Well, that was all Davy had to hear. H

was bursting with love. If Sally Ann Thun

Whirlwind could do even half that stuff, he w

to ask her to be his bride.

Mike Fink Gets His



Now, after Davy had ridden Big Eater to Washington,

Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind was left all alone. Just

her and their baby Hardstone. Davy asked her to come

to Washington, D.C., with him, but she said it wasnÕt

right to take a child to a place like that.

One day she was in their cabin churning butter when

Great King Bear of the Mud Forest paid her a call. In

truth, King Bear wasnÕt much interested in Sally Ann; it

was really the smoked hams sheÕd just finished putting

up. Well, before that bear could finish saying Òeenie

meenie miney moÓ Sally Ann grabbed a warm, honey

biscuit and stuffed it in his mouth and was showing him

the door.

That biscuit tasted so good that Great King Bear

thought maybe Sally Ann would be just as tasty, so he

spun around and grabbed her in the most fearsome bear

hug sheÕd ever felt. Well, thereÕs not much anybody can

do at a time like that, but Sally Ann, she wasnÕt anybody.

She looked Great King Bear in the eye and said, ÒWould

you like to dance?Ó

Now, everybody knows that no bear can resist an

invite to dance, so Great King Bear forgot all about eating

Sally Ann and said, ÒMuch obliged.Ó He bowed real low,

just like a gentlemanÕs supposed to do, put his left paw

on Sally AnnÕs hip and took her left hand in his right paw.

Sally nodded her head and began to sing.

Buffalo gals, won Õt you come out tonight?

Come out tonight, Come out tonight?

Buffalo gals, won Õt you come out tonight,

And dance by the light of the moon?

Those two danced like there was no tomorrokicked up their heels, whooped and hollered, an

each other so high that for a while they were

upside down on the ceiling. But even though th

having so much fun, Sally Ann didnÕt forget

chores to do. That butter still needed churning

tied a string to the bearÕs tail, and that old fell

even notice that he was churning a whole tub o

as they danced around the room.

When the dance was over Great King Bear bo

again.ÒThankee kindly, maÕam,Ó he said.

She thanked him too, and then when he wa

out in the yard, she tossed him another bisc

bolted the door.

When folks got wind of this story, they could

telling it. Just hearing it made some folks brag.

alligators down in the swamps heard about it, b

made them mighty sore, being the jealous sort.



100 101

ÒThat womanÕs gone too far,Ó said Boss Gator. ÒShe

gotta git taught a lesson, or us big animals will be the

laughinÕ stock of these here parts.Ó

So that night Boss Gator led a gang of bull gators

up to Sally AnnÕs cabin. Boy! They wouldnÕt have

gone there if they knew what they were in for. At first,

things went their way. They busted up her barn some

and chewed down her fences and roared out all sorts of

nasty things.

There was so many of them that Sally Ann figured it

would be best to stay indoors. But when they climbed up

on her roof and started dancing around so loud that she

was afraid theyÕd wake baby Hardstone up, sheÕd had

enough! She threw open the door and planted herself

smack dab in the middle of her yard.

First, she flashed them her mightiest, lightning flash

grin, but they just snickered. Then she let out her world-

famous scream, but they just roared back at her, slapped

their tails and snapped their jaws. They were having a

grand old time!

ÒWahh! Wahh! Wahh!Ó cried Hardstone, waking up.

ÒNow youÕve done gone too far!Ó she hollered. Man,

was she one angry mama!

If those gators had a lick of sense between them, theyÕd

have hightailed it out of there right then and there, but

they didnÕt have that kind of sense.

Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind started

herself around, faster and faster and faster until

spun for herself her own tornado.

ÒSic Õem!Ó she cried to the tornado, and it su

all those gators and spun them so far away t

over in England said it stopped raining cats a

and rained gators instead for a good week and a

When Boss Gator got back from England,

right to Mike Fink and told him what DavyÕs w

done. Mike was mighty upset. Boss Gator

around those parts. It wouldnÕt do to have some

putting on airs like that. One thing might lea

next, and pretty soon some woman would wa

president. Something had to be done.

ÒBoss Gator,Ó Mike asked, Òyou got any ga

you ainÕt usinÕ? IÕm lookinÕ fÕsomething in qu

extra large, not too tight in tÕshoulder, you hear

ÒWhat you got in mind, Mikey?Ó

ÒIÕm gonna pay that gal a visit.Ó

ÒYou look out; sheÕs a handful,Ó Boss Gator

ÒYou wonÕt see me messinÕ round with her no m

But Mike Fink wouldnÕt listen. He had Boss G

him up in the orneriest looking gator suit he ha

Mike got to practicing. He slapped his tail on th

so hard that the tops popped off fifty mounta



102 103

steam blew out. Then he snapped his jaws a few times.

He liked that. So he set out looking for something to try

them on and found himself a thundercloud. He bit that

thundercloud right in half, lightning and all. Then he let

out a roar so loud he scared himself so bad that he didnÕt

come out of hiding until Boss Gator caught the roar and

made it apologize. Now he was ready to pay Sally Ann

Thunder Ann Whirlwind a call.

She was picking berries out in the swamp with little

Hardstone when Mike Fink found her. SheÕd already

picked four hundred bushels, but Hardstone had eaten

five hundred and fifty, so she needed to pick some more

to make up for the ones she didnÕt have.

Now, Mike just figured heÕd give her a scare, nothing

bad, just scare the nail polish of her toes. ThatÕs all. He

crept up on his belly and was soon as close to her as a

mosquitoÕs stinger is wide. When he figured he was close

enough to give her a good scare, he jumped and let out

his best roar. But you see, he hadnÕt counted on baby

Hardstone starting to howl. And howl that child did.

No sooner was the first ÒWahh!Ó out of his mouth

than Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind grabbed Mike

by the tail of his gator suit and started to swing him

around. She swung him so hard that the zipper on that

suit busted opened and he went flying out. He flew over

a nearby mountain and landed in the middle o

splashing it dry. Then just as he was picking him

all that water came raining back down and d

him to the bone.

ÒGood thing nobody saw that,Ó he thought.

sooner had he thought that than he heard callin

the last voice on earth he wanted to hear, excep

Sally AnnÕs.

ÒWhatÕs up, Mikey?Ó

Standing there on the dry land was Davy

with Big Eater; they were grinning like politician

barbeque and kissing babies on the Fourth of Ju

ÒI thought yÕall was in Washington,Ó said Mi

spit out a frog.

ÒWe was,Ó said Davy, Òbut thatÕs a rough to

decided tÕcome back tÕTennessee anÕ git me som

anÕ quiet. You didnÕt happen tÕsee my wife, S

Thunder Ann Whirlwind around?Ó

Mike Fink spat out another frog.

ÒI canÕt say I have, Davy. CanÕt say I have.Ó

Well, Davy just laughed at that. He could

handiwork of Sally Ann as clear as he could see

in the sky.

Saving the World from Freezing to Death



104 105

You know how cold it can be some winter mornings,

especially up on a mountainside. Well, one night it got

so cold that the sun stuck between two frozen clouds and

couldnÕt get up into the sky. Now Sally Ann wouldnÕt

have noticed how cold it was except sheÕd let the chickens

sleep in the cabin that night.

During the night the candle flames froze on their wicks

and fell right off, and the chickens, seeing the bright

yellow flames lying on the floor, took them for kernels of

corn and ate them. The flames then thawed inside their

bellies and roasted those chickens whole.

It was the smell of roasted chicken that woke Sally

Ann up. At first she was stumped; them chickens had

been cackling and squawking when sheÕd gone to bed.

But then she picked up a frozen flame that the chickens

hadnÕt got and when it thawed as she held it, she figured

out how cold it must have been.

Now as soon as Davy smelled that roasted chicken he

too jumped out of bed. But the moment his bare feet hit

the cold floor, he got to hollering and cussing like youÕd

never want to hear. It was still so cold that as soon as a

cuss come out of his mouth, it froze in the air and fell to

the floor. They were pretty sharp cusses, so when Davy

stepped on one with his bare feet, he fell to cussing and

hollering even more.

Sally Ann was mighty offended and neede

a corn shovel to clean them cusses up. Davy w

embarrassed and wanted Sally Ann to toss the

fire so no one else would ever hear them and th

him. But she hid them away instead, saying the

in mighty handy ifÕin Davy ever got out of line.

After eating his roasted chicken Davy went t

chores. But as soon as he got outside, his shad

to his boot heel and almost tripped him. He kn

that something was right strange about this da

wasnÕt just the cold. It was still too dark. So he

up on to the barn roof and looked around.

Just as he suspected: the sun was stuck! O

sunbeams had made it over the horizon, and th

cranking and shaking as they tried to turn the

into the sky. One beam was stuck up against a b

cloud, and another one was pushing against a

mountain.

ÒDang!Ó Davy cried. ÒWe better do someth

quick, or the earthÕs a goner. Sally Ann Thun

Whirlwind!Ó he hollered as he jumped back dow

sunÕs gone anÕ git itself stuck anÕ kainÕt git free!Ó

Sally Ann she knew what to do. She grab

grizzly bear skin coat, tossed Davy a barrel

grease, and was out the door before Davy said



106

word. Davy had to take two steps for every one of hers,

and it wasnÕt long before they were standing at the tip

of that sunbeam that was stuck against the mountain

side.

Lickity-split, Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind ran

up that sunbeam. She tossed her bear skin coat over the

sunÕs shoulders and started rubbing the sunbeams likethey were a freezing childÕs hands.

ÒDavy, you grease up that there cloud!Ó she hollered.

Davy, he scooted out to the end of the sunbeam that

was stuck against the snow cloud. And when he got to

its very tip, he started greasing up that cloud so good it

became as slick as a griddle at a pancake social.

Pretty soon, Sally Ann hollered, ÒSheÕs aÕstartinÕ

tÕthaw!Ó and she snatched her bear skin off the sunÕs

shoulders, tossed it down on the sunbeam and slid on it

back to earth.

Davy didnÕt have time for nothing so fancy. His

sunbeam had already slipped free. He had to jump. But

the back of his britches got caught on a point of sunlight,

and it looked like he was going to be goner and get

himself carried all the way up to Heaven before his time.

But lucky for him, the tip of that sunbeam snapped off.

He fell down to earth, landing right in Sally AnnÕs arms.

ÒThat was mighty dang close, Davy,Ó she said putting

him down. ÒYou be more careful next time.Ó

ÒAh, shucks,Ó he laughed. ÒThat ainÕt n

ever tell you about that friend of mine out

named Pecos Bill?Ó

ÒDonÕt think you have.Ó

ÒWorse things happened to him by far. Le

my pipe first, anÕ IÕll tell you all about that bo

ÒDavy,Ó Sally Ann smiled. ÒHow you go

your pipe without any fire or flint?Ó

ÒNo problem, maÕam,Ó Davy smiled. ÒI g

chip of

stuck he

britchesÕ

anÕ I reak

do jusÕ fin

Pecos Bill and His Family Go West



10 10

Pa was right upset.

ÒRound up the youngÕuns, Ma!Ó he cried as he

burst through the cabin door. ÒWeÕre a-moving on!

Just heard a familyÕs putting down stakes fifty miles

from here. East Texas is getting a-too crowded for

the likes of me. WeÕre heading west!Ó

So Ma rounded up the sixteen youngÕuns andtossed them into the wagon, and they set out for

West Texas, for the Rio Grande country where Pa had

heard you could look around for a hundred miles and

never see another soul.

That wagon was packed so tight that the youngÕuns

had to take turns sticking their heads out the sides

to get a gulp of air. So there was plenty of arguing

about whose turn it was to breathe next. Naturally,

Ma did her best to keep them youngÕuns from ripping

each other to shreds, but with helping Pa keep to the

trail, feeding the babies, and cooking the grub, she

had her hands full and sometimes came up short.

One afternoon as they were coming down the trail

towards the Pecos River, one of the wagonÕs wheels

hit a rock so big that everybody got shook around

like beans in a rattle. PaÕs hat bounced off his head

and landed on a cactus where it let out a yelp Ð the

hat, that is Ð and jumped back onto PaÕs head. MaÕs

boots flew clear off her feet and danced of

the desert for about a mile or so before gett

and rejoining her feet when the wagon p

alongside. And little Bill Ð he was the fifth f

youngest Ð he just popped right out of the

and landed Ð keplunk! Ð on a sage bush.

Nobody saw Bill pop out, so naturally, tkept rolling along on down to the river and

Now, donÕt you go blaming those poor

leaving little Bill behind. Why, he was al

years old and knew well enough how to ho

wanted something. What, with seven brot

eight sisters he had gotten plenty of learning

regard.

And besides, he was tough. He was so to

he teethed himself on a horseshoe. Ma tried t

him with a hunk of oak, but he just tossed th

thing away and took up gnawing on the ho

instead. Then when he got to crawling aro

getting in trouble, Ma tried putting him in

they used for the hog, but little Bill just buste

that easily enough. Then Ma tried tying hi

cabin porch with about a half dozen mule ha

but he just pulled the porch down and dragge

the kitchen and knocked over the pot of m

was cooking on the stove.



110 111

So she was desperate. She didnÕt want him hurting

himself, but she didnÕt want him busting down the

house either. So she tied him to a hill with some

barbed wire, but little Bill just pulled the hill into the

front yard and snapped the barb wire in two. He used

the pieces to clean some food from out between his

teeth, which was a mighty good idea. In fact, whenfolks heard about it somebody got the idea to sell it.

But they didnÕt use wire; it was too expensive. They

used string instead, called it dental toss, I heard. So

you see, little Bill was mighty able to take care of

himself.

Now when Bill landed Ð keplunk! Ð in that sage

bush, he just lay there. He enjoyed being alone. That

was something he had never felt before. If you had

fifteen brothers and sisters, wouldnÕt you feel the

same? So Bill figured he better get as much of that

aloneness as he could while he had the chance. After

all, theyÕd soon enough come back and fetch him.

So as the wagon lumbered up out of the river

bed and disappeared onto the vast, flat desert plain,

little Bill lay there and enjoyed the buzzing of some

flies and watched a hawk circle high overhead in the

bright blue sky. Then when he got tired of that, he

hopped down and started looking around.

Come sunset, Pa stopped the wagon to ma

and Ma began cooking up some mush for su

wasnÕt until she was dishing out the mush

noticed someone hadnÕt taken a plate.

ÒNow lookey here, which one of you is eat

out of the cook pot with your paws?Ó she dem

ÒYÕall know I donÕt take to that. I ainÕt havof my youngÕuns eating like a dog. So whoe

best get on over here anÕ take a plate like a

critter.Ó

Pa and all the youngÕuns just lifted up the

as if to say, ÒAinÕt me, Ma.Ó

ÒWell then,Ó said Ma, Òwhy we got a

plate?Ó

And it was right then that they realized

was gone. Without even breaking camp, they

back over the trail. But by the time they go

the Pecos River, it was so pitch black you

see the light of a lantern unless you took a

lantern and shone its light on the light of f

So naturally, they didnÕt know where th

until they hit that bump a second time and

bounced out into the dark.

ÒBill! Bill! Bill!Ó they all shouted. But ther

any answer, unless you counted the distant, lo

Bill Gets Raised by the Coyotes



113

yip-yapping of a coyote pack, calling to each other

out in the darkness of the vast and lonesome desert

plain.

It was then they realized that calling for Bill was

no use. He was gone. And one by one, the children

started crying, until pretty soon the whole family

was crying and hugging each other over their loss.ÒGuess BillÕs a goner,Ó wept Ma. ÒI just hate

thinkinÕ some critter got him.Ó

Now she was right about a critter having gotten

Bill, but she was downright wrong about his being

a goner. Nothing could be further from the truth.

After Bill had gotten tired of watching th

circling up in the clear blue sky, he started mi

family Ð noise and all Ð so be began walking d

river bed. He was looking for a place to wad

That way, he figured, he could follow the wago

But finding a place where he could cross wa

easy for someone his size, and he ended up wa

miles. At last, he became so tired that he lay

the shade of a cactus and fell asleep.

When he awoke it was so dark that he cou

his hand, but he sure could feel something up

his face. Whatever it was it was sniffing him

down. And one thing for sure, it wasnÕt Ma. S

sniff. The critter was sniffing like a dog. After

critter let out a couple of short, sharp yips, a

were answered by a couple of other short, sh

yaps from far off in the lonesome darkness.

Little Bill had been found by a pack of coyo

the critter sniffing him was no other than thei

Se–or Grandee, the wisest coyote of all. There w

one thing little Bill knew how to do at a time

he reached out his hand and babbled, ÒGood d

Now, Se–or Grandee could tell that this cri

no ordinary human pup. Any other human pu

have either started to cry like a thunderstorm



114 115

to run away as fast as it could. Nor did this human

pup act like Grandee was an enemy. No, this human

pup was different. He acted as if he wanted to be

friends.

By now the other members of the coyote pack had

formed a circle around Se–or Grandee and little Bill.

None of them had ever been this close to a humancritter before, so they were all acting real careful.

After a bit, Se–or Grandee signaled to the other

coyotes that they needed to have a pack meeting, so

they trotted off into the dark to talk.

A few yip-yapped that he was an enemy and needed

to be treated like an enemy before he got bigger and

tried to hurt one of them. Others wanted to simply

leave him alone and get back to their hunting. But

Se–or Grandee saw things differently.

ÒThis human pup is special,Ó Se–or Grandee began.

ÒIÕve never sniffed a completely good human critter

before, but this oneÕs so much like a coyote that I say

we raise him as our own. IÕve never seen why our

cousins the wolves can raise human pups and we

canÕt. From now on heÕs one of us.Ó

So that was how Bill joined the coyote pack.

Se–or Grandee himself taught Bill the ways of the

pack. This pup was too special to leave in the care

of just any coyote; and besides, humans gre

slower than coyotes, and it would take many

to teach this pup all he needed to know to liv

the wild.

First, Se–or Grandee taught Bill to alway

the truth and never act dishonestly. To

dishonestly could put the pack in danger anmean instant death for the member who did

Bill had learned honesty, Se–or Grandee tau

what was good and what was bad. Then h

Bill how to dig for roots and pick berries an

important of all, how to find sweet water fa

the burning desert wastelands.

Once Bill had learned how to stay aliv

Grandee taught him how to run and le

distances and how to spin and twirl his bod

ran so that nothing, not even a human critte

gun, would be able to follow his movements

Next he taught Bill how to hunt with th

how to wait quietly at his station in the chas

was his turn to take the lead. And he also tau

how to hold his place in the circle of the pac

to duck and lunge and spring out of the way

pack brought a victim down.



Bill Learns HeÕs a Human Critter



11 11

One day while he was out hunting by himself down

by the Pecos River, Bill sensed danger and instantly

struck the pose of invisibility. Then the wind shifted,

and he could smell a human critter, on horseback,

nearby. The critter was making some strange sounds

that it repeated over and over again.

Git along, little doggies, git along, git along:

Git along, little doggies, git along.

Yippee ai ay, yippie ai oh!


Then just as the human critter appeared over the

rise, Bill smelled something familiar, something he

hadnÕt smelled since he was a pup, something that

made him forget the most important thing Grandee

had taught. Bill felt curious, and he moved.

ÒDang!Ó the human critter shouted, reining hishorse to a stop. ÒWhat in tarnation are you?Ó

Bill let out a short, frightened yip-yap and ran off.

Then the human critter let out the exact same yip-

yap, spurred his horse and was after him. But Bill

was faster, and soon he had left the human critter far

behind. When he sensed that he was safe, Bill rose

up on his haunches and looked back.

Far off in the distance was the human

standing in his stirrups and looking arou

making those strange sounds:

Git along, little doggies, git along, git along



ÒThat sounds nice ,Ó Bill thought, and h

straight up on his hind legs and mimicked ba


Then the human critter took something

head and waved it at Bill, and Bill, he lifted h

of his front paws and waved back. Then th

critter cried out Yippee ai ay, yippie ai oh! a

away. But instead of heading back to the p

followed after the human critter, curious more but mindful to keep a safe distance beh

Come sundown, the human critter built

fire. Then he poured some water and thre

dirt he had with him into a strange hollow th

put the strange thing on the fire. After a w

strange thing began to whistle and shake,

human critter poured some strong smellin

water into another strange thing that he lift

mouth.

ll k h ll f h bl k h h d h h l k



121

Bill knew the smell of the strange black water

too, and, like the smell of the human critter himself,

it stirred up happy memories from some time long

ago when he was pup. Then Bill heard himself say,

ÒCoffee.Ó And the human critter stood up suddenly,

pulled out what the coyotes called his killing stick and

looked around.ÒNow, lookey here,Ó the human said, Òwhy donÕt

you stop squattinÕ out in the dark anÕ come on in anÕ

have a cup, if thatÕs what you want? I got plenty anÕ

donÕt mind sharinÕ at all.Ó

ÒLookey here,Ó Bill repeated.

ÒThatÕs right,Ó said the human, Òlooke

What kind of varmint are you, lurkinÕ ou

cactus like some lowdown coyote, naked as

you was born. You come on in here and tell

you are.Ó

ÒCoyote,Ó growled Bill.

ÒDang!Ó laughed the human. ÒThatÕs tgone craziest thing I ever heard. You ainÕt no

youÕre a man, even if you got hair longer

woman. Now, come on in here next to the fir

give you something to put on.Ó

So thatÕs what Bill did.

ÒLook at you,Ó laughed the human critter

never seen the likes of you.Ó And the human

out his hand. ÒMy nameÕs Chuck. I didnÕt ca

name.Ó

ÒCoyote.ÓÒDang! You ainÕt no coyote; youÕre a man

ÒCoyote!Ó

ÒNow, lookey here,Ó said Chuck, Òwhat ma

think youÕre a coyote?

ÒLookey here, fleas,Ó growled Bill, scrat

himself.

ÒFleas!Ó laughed Chuck. ÒWhy, I got fl

Every cowboy in Texas got fleas, some of

li b h d Õ k

Bill Tames Widow Maker

N f h fi hi Ch k ld Bill



122 123

got some lice, but that donÕt make us no coyotes.

YouÕre just like me; youÕre a man. Why, you even

look like me. You look so much like me you could

be my brother. You know, you might very well be

my brother; he got lost around here about fifteen

years back. Why, IÕd say you are my brother, so your

nameÕs Bill, Pecos Bill, because of where you was lostand you was found.Ó

ÒCoyote!Ó

ÒNow, lookey here,Ó said Chuck, ÒIÕm sure youÕre

my brother Bill, only somebody as ornery as lit tle Bill

couldÕve lived out in this desert like youÕve been doing

all these years. Lookey here, I got just the thing that

will prove youÕre human anÕ no coyote.Ó

And Chuck reached into his saddle bag and pulled

out a little scrap of mirror and held it up to BillÕs

face.ÒLookey see! See, youÕre a man, just like me. Now,

donÕt go sayinÕ youÕre a coyote no more.Ó

And sure enough, there was no denying it ; Bill was

a human, and Se–or Grandee had been right. Once

Bill became one of them, he never again ran with the

pack.

Now, one of the first things Chuck told Bill w

he needed to learn how to ride a horse. Bill said

happy enough to run alongside Chuck like he h

with Grandee, but Chuck said that wouldnÕt

Texas cowboy should ever be caught on foot if th

a horse to ride within a hundred miles.

ÒYup, Pecos,Ó said Chuck, Òyou need a horfrom the looks of you, only one horse will do. I k

the critter.Ó

Come around sundown, Bill and Chuck creste

rise. There spread beneath them was a shallo

that stretched far off to a thin blue line of moun

the west.

ÒLookey there,Ó said Chuck. ÒSee that black

racinÕ across that dry creek bed with his mar

Widow Maker. AinÕt never been ridden, even

a hundred of the toughest cowboys from CaMexico have died trying. ThatÕs how he got h

Reckon heÕll do?Ó

Bill took one look at Widow Maker and kn

were meant for each other.

ÒSee you, broÕ,Ó Bill said and raced down the

But Widow Maker was a sharp one. He had

and Chuck the moment they crested the rise a

eager to give this human critter who ran like a co

run of his life before finishing him off.

So Widow Maker just cantered along until Bill was When they were



124 125

So Widow Maker just cantered along until Bill was

about a yard away, then he let loose the most fantastic

burst of speed Bill had ever seen and was gone. But Bill

was no slowpoke. He simply tripled his pace, and by the

time Widow Maker glanced over his shoulder, there was

Bill reaching for his tail.

Widow Maker neighed furiously and stretched outhis neck, lowered his head and let loose another burst of

fantastic speed. But Bill simply did the same. A second

later, Bill was running alongside.

ÒMighty nice day for a ride,Ó Bill said and sprang onto

Widow MakerÕs back, grabbing on tight to the stallionÕs

mane. Widow Maker let loose a furious neigh and began

to buck and swerve from side to side. Never had any

puny human critter so much as dared touch him and not

paid with its life.

But Bill hung on. He rode Widow Maker clear acrossTexas and all the way across Mexico to the Pacific Ocean.

There the stallion reared up and kicked his hoofs at the

setting sun, then turned and raced back to the Gulf of

Mexico, bucking and swerving all the way. Next he

headed north and raced all the way to Canada and back,

jumping from mountain top to mountain top all the way

down the Rocky Mountains back to West Texas.

They did that trip several times.

When they were

heading north for

Canada for a fourth

time, Bill whispered

into Widow MakerÕs

ear, ÒAinÕt it time we

became friends?ÓWidow Maker simply

snorted and let loose one

final, fantastic burst of speed that almost

flung Bill off his back and all the way to

Louisiana. But Bill held tight, and with that,

Widow Maker knew he had met his match and

down to a canter, then a trot, and finally a walk

Widow Maker finally came to a stop, Bill hop

gently stroked the stallionÕs flank and breathed

nostrils.ÒThat was a mighty fine ride; thanks,Ó sai

a kindly whisper. ÒAinÕt no other two critter

whole wide world that couldÕve done somethinÕ l

Whatta you say, we call us pardners?Ó

Now, that was right fine with Widow Mak

there was one condition. Bill, and only Bill, co

him, and he had to promise that heÕd never put

his mouth or a saddle on his back.

Bill Becomes King of the Cowboys

After Bill tamed Widow Maker Chuck took him back ÒYou better git over here Pecos or the Wou



126 127

After Bill tamed Widow Maker, Chuck took him back

to the ranch to meet the rest of the outfit Ð Rattlesnake

Pete, Lefty, Gap-Tooth Kid, Legs, and Old Cookie. At first

the boys thought Bill was nothing but a tenderfoot.

ÒHeÕs just one of those city slickers,Ó Rattlesnake Pete

complained. ÒAll they do is buy themselves a big hat anÕ

strut around sayinÕ howdy anÕ y’all . I say we see whatheÕs made of.Ó

So that evening after licking his tin plate clean,

Rattlesnake said, ÒReckon IÕll go out anÕ check on the

cows.Ó

ÒReckon IÕll go too, Rattlesnake,Ó said Lefty, and they

disappeared into the night. They hadnÕt been gone long

when the most horrible cry pierced the dark.

ÒAgghhhhggghhh!Ó Lefty screamed off in the darkness,

ÒIÕm too young to die! Agghhhhggghhh!Ó

And the cry was followed by a high, wavering, blood-curdling howl, ÒYow uuuuuuuuu! Woof, woof!Ó

The other boys jumped up and drew their pistols.

ÒItÕs the Wouser Ð the biggest, baddest man-eatinÕ

critter west of the Pecos!Ó cried Quick Draw, ÒanÕ heÕs got

Lefty anÕ Pete! Get ready boys, heÕs aÕcominÕ this a-way,

anÕ heÕs a-gonna git us next!Ó

The boys stood back to back, pointed their shaking

pistols out into the dark. But Bill just kept sitting by the

fire, finishing up his beans.

You better git over here, Pecos, or the Wou

you, fÕ sure.Ó

ÒThat ainÕt no Wouser,Ó Bill said, after wi

knife on his sleeve and putting it away. ÒI can

language of every livinÕ critter from Canada to

anÕ that ainÕt no Wouser; donÕt even sound

one. Just some fool human critter tryinÕ to soone, anÕ doinÕ a mighty poor job. Here, let me s

how the Wouser really sounds. GrrARE-grrare

WahUUUU-ow-ow-ow-GrrrUUUU!Ó

The boys just about jumped out of their skin

second latter, Rattlesnake Pete and Lefty came

back into camp, screaming, ÒIt ainÕt no joke, bo

WouserÕs here for sure!Ó

Well, Bill almost fell over laughing, and ev

had to admit that he was no tenderfoot at all.

Next morning, they had to move the herd trange, and it was going to take them the bette

a year. When they finally found some of the

couple of the boys made loops with their ropes

the loops down on the ground. Then they took

the straight end of the rope and hunched down

a nearby cactus, like they were trying to hide.

fellow ran off and chased a cow towards the loo

the cow happened to step into the loop, the firs

few times and let it fly around the neck of sompulled the loop tight A fellow who was good could catch



12 12

few times and let it fly around the neck of som

cow. He then pulled her to the ground and tu

over to Lefty.

ÒHold her please while I git me another.Ó

ò ô

So by sunset, Bill had lassoed most of the hehe got so good at lassoing that he could rope

cows at a time. The boys were mighty impresse

night they all made themselves lassos. And by

the next day, theyÕd caught the whole herd and

over to Lefty. Now, having several thousand c

together on one long stretch of rope made Le

nervous.

ÒTell me, Pecos,Ó Lefty asked, ÒwhatÕs a fellow

these here cows get the notion of runninÕ off? Sh

them drag me or let go anÕ save my hide?ÓÒYou got a point there, Lefty,Ó said Bill, Òbut

let Õem go after all that work. Let me think a bit

ÒMuch obliged, Pecos,Ó said Lefty, Òbut IÕd ap

it if you did your thinkinÕ r ight quick Õcause some

cows look like they want to stampede.Ó

ÒLookey here, boys,Ó Bill said, Òback in my coy

the pack had a way of runninÕ down a herd. I

we work like a pack to keep the herd together in

breakinÕ them apart, weÕll be right fine.Ó

pulled the loop tight. A fellow who was good could catch

two cows a month this way.

Bill watched a bit, then thought, ÒThis wonÕt do. A

fellow could git bored workinÕ like that.Ó So he rode off

to a nearby mesa top to think.

ÒIt sure would be quicker,Ó Bill thought, Òto catch

them critters on the run. But your average fellowÕd needa special rope, somethinÕ tough but easy to toss.Ó

Just then Bill saw a ratt lesnake

skin lying at his feet.

ÒJust what I need.Ó So he spent the rest of the morning

hunting down the toughest rattlers

he could find and scaring them

clean out of their skins. Then he

wove those skins into a nice strong

rope and called it a lasso.

When he got back to the boys,

Bill swung his lasso over his head a

ÒWait a minute, Pecos!Ó Rattlesnake complained ÒYou ÒIainÕt sleepinÕ onthe groundwithno cows,Ó p



130 131

Wait a minute, Pecos! Rattlesnake complained. You

want us to act like a pack of coyotes? I donÕt mean no

disrespect, but that ainÕt right; weÕre human critters.Ó

ÒWell, Pete,Ó said Bill, ÒthatÕs all I can think of. So unless

you want to help Lefty hold all them cows, why donÕt we

do like I says?Ó

Well, that was all the boys needed to hear. So afterhelping Lefty tie his end of the rope to a blade of grass,

they all sat down and let Bill explain.

ÒDuring the day, some of us will ride alongside the

herd anÕ move it along. ThatÕll keep Õem from fanninÕ out.

AnÕ a couple of other boys will ride the lead, keepinÕ the

faster cows from gettinÕ too far ahead, anÕ the rest will

ride behind, hurryinÕ the slowpokes along.Ó

ÒBut what if they stampede? WonÕt they run over the

boys up front?Ó asked Gap-Tooth.

ÒNope,Ó said Bill. ÒThe trick is to turn the herd to theside when they stampede, git it goinÕ around in a circle.

Soon enough theyÕll git tired anÕ stop.Ó

ÒBut wonÕt they wander off at night when we go back

to the ranch?Ó

ÒYep, they would if we go back to the ranch, but we

ainÕt goinÕ back to the ranch no more at roundup time.

WeÕre sleepinÕ with the herd.Ó

I ain t sleepin on the ground with no cows, p

Rattlesnake Pete, spitting into the fire.

ÒMe neither, Bill; that donÕt sound nice,Ó said

ÒLookey here, boys, I slept out on the grou

when I was a coyote anÕ got my best sleepinÕ of

Right nice sleepinÕ under the stars.Ó

ÒWell, itÕs one thing beinÕ a coyote,Ó grumbleÒbut itÕs another beinÕ a man. I still donÕt see

herd wonÕt take it into their heads anÕ stampede

we shut our eyes.Ó

ÒWeÕll take turns watchinÕ,Ó said Bill, ÒanÕ w

sing them cows some purty cowboy songs.Ó

Well, the boys couldnÕt say nothing against

songs, so they had to go along. And when t

outfits saw how easy BillÕs boys had it, they we

too. And thatÕs how Pecos Bill invented mode

punching, became King of the Cowboys, and wto work all of west Texas and New Mexico as

ranch.

Bill Rides a Texas Tornado

It happened one year that a mighty bad drought hit the way down the Rio Grande to the Gulf of Mex



132 133

pp y g y g

Pecos BillÕs ranch. It was so dry that all the rivers dried

up and turned to flowing dust. Why, it was so dry that

if a fellow found a drop of water, heÕd slice it up into

little pieces, dry it off and put it in his pocket so heÕd

have something to drink later on.

One night Bill and his outfit were sitting around thecampfire when the talk turned to the drought.

ÒTime to pack it in,Ó said Gap-Tooth. ÒAinÕt no good

stickinÕ around here.Ó

Everybody said the same.

ÒTime to head west for California or north to

Canada.Ó

But Pecos Bill would hear none of that.

ÒTimes like this,Ó he said, Òshows whether a fellowÕs

got grit or not. Trouble with you fellows is youÕre soft,

plumb soft. Comes from ridinÕ with a saddle. Whyback when I ran with the coyotes, we could smell water

a hundred miles off. You fellows canÕt find a drop of

water until it falls on your heads.Ó

ÒWell, you always did talk big, Bill,Ó said Rattlesnake,

Òbut IÕll bet you ten Yankee dollars you canÕt find enough

water by sundown tomorrow to fill one of CookieÕs

spoons.Ó

ÒYouÕre on,Ó said Bill, ÒIÕll find water, water enough

to fill the whole Pecos River and wash this drought all

the way down the Rio Grande to the Gulf of Mex

Well, the boys had a good laugh at that, a

began pestering Rattlesnake about how heÕd sha

ten Yankee dollars once heÕd won the bet.

Come sunup Bill just lazed around, as if h

care a dang about them ten Yankee dollars. Ab

afternoon, Bill whistled for Widow Maker anpicking out his best lasso, galloped north, not s

until they were way up Oklahoma way.

Pretty soon he found what he was looking

tornado, a twister so big and black that it su

the blue out of the sky. It was racing around,

up everything in its way. When he and Widow

were right up close, Bill let his lasso fly and cau

twister and started pulling her in.

ÒYou git on home, Widow Maker,Ó he shou

the roaring wind. ÒI gotta fetch me some watesunset, and there ainÕt no need you stickinÕ arou

So Widow Maker neighed goodbye, and Bill

to the ground, dug in his heels and wrestled tha

to the ground, all the while singing his favorite

song.

Git along, little doggies, git along, git along:




Well, that twister was mighty ornery, and



135

, g y y,

all Bill had to pull it in close enough for him to

down enough that he could hop on its back an

north towards those Great Lakes up Canada w

was figuring on fetching some of that there wa

to Texas, then heÕd lick the drought and win th

Yankee dollars. Easy as that.What a ride! Bill rode that twister all acro

and Oklahoma and Arkansas and Missouri and

He rode it all the way up to Lake Michigan. T

made that twister suck up as much of that swe

as it could hold. Then he turned it south, rode i

Texas and made it spit out the water and fill up

river beds.

Once all the rivers were nice and full, Bill tur

twister north again and rode it up into New

He made it dump the last of its water high umountains, where it turned into snow. Bill figu

way the rivers could flow all year.

Well, when Bill got back to the ranch, it was

dark. He didnÕt want to make Rattlesnake loo

front of the boys, so when Rattlesnake went to

the ten Yankee dollars, Bill said, ÒSplit it with t

After all, I didnÕt finish before the sunÕd gone do

a dealÕs a deal, like old Grandee use to say.Ó

Slue-foot Sue, Queen of the Cowgirls

Now, Bill liked riding that tornado so much that, at ‘Yippie ai ay, git along, little doggies,



136 137

g

the risk of offending Widow Maker, he took every chance

he got to ride a twister. One day, while he was riding

a big, nasty one down the Rio Grande valley, he saw a

sight that made his heart thump.

Far down below him, riding a catfish as big as a whale,

was the finest looking red-headed gal heÕd ever seen, andeach time that catfish leaped out of the water and bucked

its way upstream, she let loose a glorious, ÒYippie ai oh ki

ay!!Ó Well, those were BillÕs favorite words, so he pulled

that twister to a stop and hopped off.

ÒHowdy, maÕam,Ó Bill said, taking off his hat. ÒThat

was mighty fine singing. Oh, pardon me, my nameÕs Bill,

Pecos Bill. Plumb forgot my manners, maÕam; donÕt run

into many ladies out here on the West Texas range.Ó

ÒWell, cowboy,Ó said the red-headed gal in a ladylike

drawl. ÒCall me Sue, Slue-foot Sue, and if you like thatsong, cowboy, IÕll sing you another.Ó

Bill said heÕd be much obliged if she did, so she beached

the catfish and began to sing.

As I was a walkin Õ one morning for pleasure,

I spied a cowpuncher all ridin Õ along.

His hat was throwed back and his spurs was a-jinglin Õ,

As he approached me a singin Õ this song:

pp y, g g, gg ,

It Õs your misfortune and none of my own.

Yippie! ai ay, git along, little doggies,

For you know that Texas will be your new home

ÒGosh! maÕam,Ó blushed Bill, ÒthatÕs the p

thing I ever heard.Ó

ÒThankee kindly.ÓNow, Bill was so smitten by her blazing red h

freckles that all he could do was look down at hi

bashfully and swing one foot from side to side.

ÒIf you donÕt mind me askinÕ, maÕam,Ó h

after a bit, Òbut where dÕya learn to sing so sw

ladylike?Ó

ÒNashville, Tennessee. ThatÕs where I was bo

raised.Ó

ÒNashville, Tennessee! Well, you donÕt say

that near where Mr. Davy Crockett comes from

ÒYes, siree, it is. Why, Mr. Crockett was a

of mine on my uncleÕs sisterÕs brotherÕs side

removed.Ó

ÒGosh!Ó

Bill wasnÕt just smitten by that red-headÕs ch

was in love. Only one thing he could think of doin

he felt like that was to say, ÒLookey, here, maÕ

just a cowboy, but I got me a little spread of a ran

stretches all the way from the Rio Grande River up to the harmonica, Gap-Tooth Kid played his fiddle; Ch



13 13

Rocky Mountains anÕ then some. If you was interested in

settlinÕ down, IÕd be interested in havinÕ you for mÕwife.Ó

ÒWell, cowboy, that could be arranged.Ó

ÒIf that means yes, then letÕs find us a preacher right

quick!Ó

And Bill hunkered down on his haunches and let loosethe wildest coyote howl the sky had ever heard. Not to

be outdone, Sue hunkered down herself and let loose

her howl. She twisted her voice around his in a way that

would have made old Grandee proud.

Done howling, Bill whistled for Widow Maker who was

at his side before he had finished giving Sue her first kiss.

He introduced Widow Maker to Sue and Sue to Widow

Maker and said, ÒSheÕs ridinÕ with me, just this one time.

Hope you donÕt mind?Ó And they were off. Come around

sunset, they found a preacher who could marry them thevery next day.

Now, the preacherÕs wife took a liking to Sue, and

that evening she fitted her out with the finest hoop dress

youÕd ever hope to see. It had ruffles and ribbons and

bows all over, and it was so white that the clouds floated

down close to earth to see how it was done.

Next day the boys from the outfit arrived, and after

the preacher had finished his business, they struck up a

tune, The Tennessee Waltz . Rattlesnake Pete played his

Lefty beat percussion on their heads. Legs pop

his false teeth and used them for a tambourine,

Cookie played his best set of spoons. You nev

a sweeter waltz. Bill took Slue-foot Sue in his a

began dancing her around the room.

But after a few minutes, Sue whispered into BÒYouÕre a mighty fine dancer, Bill, better than e

finest fellows in Nashville, Tennessee, but how a

showing these folks a little step I made up myse

big as Texas!Ó

ÒWhatever you want, maÕam,Ó said Bill.

So Sue told the boys what she wanted them

Then she told everybody else to clear the floor

she had some serious dancing to do.

ÒLadies and gentlemen,Ó she announced, Òth

called the Slue-foot Hop, a little thing I made upHit it, boys!Ó

Sue planted her left foot firmly on the grou

swung her right leg out and around to the side li

then she did a quick spin and, finishing up, hopp

her right foot before doing the whole thing ag

danced up a storm!

ÒThat was mighty fine playing, boys,Ó she

flinging back her red hair, Òbut this time triple

please.Ó And she took Bill in her arms.

Well, she spun Bill around so fast that he felt like the

Bill and Sue Honeymoon on the Moo

Now, Bill took Sue over to where Widow Ma



140 141

hair was going to fly off his head. When they fin ished, she

let out a glorious, ÒYippie ai oh ki ay!!Ó And everybody

threw their hats in the air and cheered.

ÒMaÕam,Ó said Bill after he caught his breath, Òthat

was the finest dancing I think IÕll ever see. I got a little

wedding gift for you.ÓHe pulled from his pocket a diamond ring that was as

big as his fist.

ÒI was going to give you this here diamond ring for

a wedding present, but it just ainÕt enough. You tell me

what you want, anything, anÕ itÕs yours.Ó

Well, Sue couldnÕt have been happier. She looked

around her, and her eyes fell on Widow Maker.

ÒI want to ride that horse all by myself.Ó

The boys in BillÕs outfit just about dropped their jaws

when she asked that.ÒI wish you hadnÕt asked that, Sue,Ó Bill said real

serious and sad, Òbut a dealÕs a deal, anÕ I never go back

on my word. But as for ridinÕ Widow Maker, youÕll have

to settle that business yourself.Ó

grazing, and everybody else followed close behind

the boys in BillÕs outfit. They just hung back, shak

heads and looking lowdown sad.

ÒLet me tell you, Sue,Ó Bill said as they drew clo

horse, Òwhen Widow Maker first let me ride him,

promise that nobody but me would ever ride himdonÕt mind, IÕd appreciate you askinÕ for somethin

ÒNow, Bill,Ó Sue laughed, tossing her head so

curls flashed in the sunlight, Òyou think any wom

can ride a catfish as big as a whale canÕt ride so

olÕ horse?Ó

Well, if there was only one thing Bill rem

from all the stuff his mama had taught him, it w

a gentleman never contradicts a lady.

ÒJust be careful, Sue, you hear.Ó

Sue just laughed and, after getting a runninleaped on the back of Widow Maker. No sooner

landed than Widow Maker started bucking and b

so that the walls of the preacherÕs cabin came t

down like Joshua was a-blowing his horn.

Now you have to give it to Sue, she stayed on

Maker a lot longer than any other human ev

except for Bill, but then you have to remember

was as much coyote as human. She loved that

two seconds of it. By the time she was halfway through ÒDonÕt know,Ó said Rattlesnake Pete, scratc



142 143

letting rip a glorious, ÒYippie ai ay!,Ó she went flying off

Widow MakerÕs back and high into the air.

She flew higher and higher and higher, and pretty

soon she was so high above the earth that Texas looked

no bigger than the head of a pin. But even then she kept

on going, and soon she was so high up that the Man inthe Moon started looking mighty worried, like he wanted

to get out of the way.

ÒOh my!Ó she said to herself, Òhow shall I ever get back

to my Bill?Ó

But she didnÕt need to worry any about that because

as soon as she hit the moon, she bounced back. Bounced

back? Yep, bounced back. DonÕt you remember that nice

fancy hoop dress she was wearing? Those hoops have a

lot of spring in them. So when Sue hit the moon, those

hoops bounced her right back to earth again.Now back down in Texas, Bill and the boys and the

preacher and his wife were mighty upset. If youÕve never

seen a cowboy cry, itÕs a pitiful sight. Bill just stood

there, tears flowing down his cheeks, as he looked up at

the sky, wondering how heÕd ever get by without Sue.

All of a sudden the preacherÕs wife pointed up and cried

out, ÒWhatÕs that?Ó

head. ÒItÕs movinÕ too fast for a bird anÕ it sure

cloud, but one thing fÕ sure, itÕs aÕcominÕ this a-w

mighty fast.Ó

ÒLordy be!Ó cried the preacherÕs wife, Òif my e

playinÕ tricks on me, itÕs Sue!Ó

ÒShucks, woman,Ó said the preacher, Òthereagain talkinÕ crazy. How could that be Sue?Ó

ÒCanÕt a woman tell her own dress when she sees

Well, by now there was no doubt about it. It w

Anybody could see that by the flashing of her

red hair. And she was singing, ÒYippie ai oh ki a

like she did that first time Bill had seen her dow

Rio Grande.

ÒDonÕt worry none, honey!Ó Bill cried. ÒIÕll cat

ÒThank you kindly, Bill,Ó Sue called back.

But try as Bill might, he just couldnÕt get undtime, and when she hit the ground she just bounc

back up to the moon again. This time the trip wa

at all, and she began to cry. But that was good

her tears settled the dust storm she had raised w

bounced back up to the moon, so Bill could t

and know where she was going to come down n

around.

And when she came down, Bill was ready.

hi b l d h h j b



145

his best lasso, and when she was just about to

let it fly and roped her around the waist and du

heels. But that didnÕt matter none; that hoop d

so much bounce in it that she just sprang right

towards the moon again, pulling Bill after her.

Well, no one really knows what happened toSue after that because they didnÕt come back d

least not in Texas. And why they would have

to land in any place other than Texas just doesn

any sense to me. Some folks say theyÕve been b

back and forth between the earth and moon ev

which is why there are so many dust storms now

and maybe thatÕs true and maybe it ainÕt. Other f

Bill lassoed one of the horns of the cow that had

jump over the moon and reeled the two of them

caught that cow and raised a right good-sizedmoon-calfs off of her. That makes a lot more sen

Then maybe itÕs the coyotes that know bes

They say Bill and Sue met up with old Grande

the moon and run with him every night across t

valleys of the Milky Way. And if you ask any of th

they know this is true, theyÕll tell you that whene

go up onto the high and lonesome mesa tops

at the moon, theyÕre always answered back by

SueÕs, ÒYippie ai oh ki ay!Ó



146 147

Home on the Range

Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam,

And the deer and the antelope play,

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Home, home on the range,

Where the deer and the antelope play,

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,

And the skies are not cloudy all day.

How often at night, when the heavens are bright

With the light of the glimmering stars,

I have stood there amazed, and asked as I gazed

If their glory exceeds that of ours.Home, home on the range,


Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,


The red man was pressed from this part of

He is likely no more to return

To the banks of Red River, where seldom if His flickering campfires will burn.

Home, home on the range,


Where seldom is heard a discouraging wor


I love the wild flowers in this bright land of

I love the wild curlewÕs shrill scream,

The bluffs and white rocks, and antelope fl

That graze on the mountains so green.Home, home on the range,


Where seldom is heard a discouraging wor


– Tra

The Winter of the Blue Snow

Ol JonsonÕs the name. You wouldnÕt be much

interested in me if I hadnÕt logged with Paul Bunyan I

in the pot, and if a fella wasnÕt careful, he cou

himself with the hot ice So even with the woo



14 14

interested in me if I hadnÕt logged with Paul Bunyan. I

was the blacksmith in his lumber camps. Me and him

and the other boys lumberjacked the north woods of

Minnesota and Wisconsin for many a year. And good

years they were. People always ask when I first met Paul,

so IÕll tell you right out; it was back in the Winter of theBlue Snow.

And a cold winter that was. The wind blew so hard

that if a fella tried chopping on the downwind side of a

tree, the wind froze his ax to the air. If he thought himself

smart and tried chopping from the upwind side, he only

got one swing, and that better be a good one and he

better cut clear through that tree on that one swing, or

the wind would pin his ax so tight to it that ten men and

a team of oxen couldnÕt pull it free.

Now, if the wind that winter wasnÕt bad enough, thesnow was worse. Never saw anything like it, before or

since. It started out white like youÕd expect of snow, but

the wind was blowing so cold that the snow shivered

itself blue. And so much snow fell that it covered up

everything, even the tallest trees, so there wasnÕt much to

do but hole up in the bunkhouse and whittle toothpicks.

You had to be mighty careful in cold like that.

Sometimes it got so cold that the boiling coffee froze

himself with the hot ice. So even with the woo

burning day and night, it was still mighty co

tried everything to keep warm. Finally we de

stop trimming our beards and let them grow lon

when they were dragging on the floor, we knitt

into longjohns and hopped in. After that we weand toasty.

Now, we always had to be careful about kee

fire in the stove from going out. If that happened

cold in the bunkhouse that your words froze. N

would your words cross your lips than they woul

right then and there in front of your eyes and fa

floor. Now, words can trip a fella up someth

especially the kind he might say when itÕs that

itÕs best to get rid of them before they have a ch

thaw out and get heard. If a fella was smart hethem up quick and toss them out the door.

That worked well enough until spring. T

the frozen words that were piled around out

bunkhouse began to thaw, and not all at onc

you. Some thawed out in the morning, and othe

afternoon. Some lay in the shadows for weeks a

thaw out till the sun was high in the sky. It was

to hear, the racket those words made. And th

no use denying them because as soon as a fella started

denying them they jumped right back onto his lips as if



150

denying them, they jumped right back onto his lips, as if

they were looking for their long-lost home.

It was a terribly cold Minnesota night when we first

met Paul. We were huddled around the stove, finishing

off the pancakes that Sourdough Sam, the cook, had

just served up for the three-hundred and sixty-fifth timewhen we heard thunder outside. Now, whoever heard of

it thundering when it was so cold? We grabbed our axes

and chopped the ice off the window glass to look out.

It was then that we first laid eyes on him, striding

above the spruce trees buried under the mountains of

blue snow. He had shoulders as wide as the horizon,

was as tall as the sky and had a black bushy beard that

half covered his chest Ð biggest fella IÕd ever seen. Slung

over one shoulder was the biggest ax IÕd ever seen, and

across his other shoulder was his coat. He stopped justinside the clearing where our bunkhouse stood and, after

wiping the sweat from his brow, bent down and knocked

on our door.

ÒSorry to bother you, fellas,Ó he said all friendly like.

ÒMy nameÕs Paul Bunyan. Whatever you fellas have

cooking there smells right fine. When I got a whiff of

your vittles back in my camp in Maine, I just had to come

over and stop by. Mind if I join you?Ó

ÒI was born in Maine,Ó Paul began. ÒRaised m

there as well Ó

Well, thereÕs no point denying a hungry fella food,

especially one so large so we invited him in After

The Boyhood of Paul Bunyan



152 153

there, as well.

ÒNo mam; no pap?Ó Frenchy asked.

ÒHad Õem, but outgrew Õem. You see, I was

baby; took three storks to deliver me and for m

meal I drank up all the milk my paÕs dairy herd

give. He had about twenty, no, maybe only nincows. But they were good milkers.

ÒThen when they couldnÕt get me any more

Ma mixed up a batch of mush. She used five d

eggs, ten sacks of potatoes, and a wagonload o

meal. She did that for two weeks until IÕd eaten

out of house and home.

ÒWith nothing to eat, I started to howl, how

loud that I blew the roof off six barns and knocke

steeple off the church. People were pretty upse

me, so they came around and complained. Whensaw my beard Ð it was only half way down my

by then Ð they got mighty scared and told my

that they better do something about me before

did something themselves.

ÒSo Pa made me a cradle out of five of the

roofs that IÕd blown off and hired a sea captain t

me out to sea. He anchored me about twenty

off the coast of Maine, and Pa paid a fleet of fi

especially one so large, so we invited him in. After

Sourdough Sam had served him up about sixty-three

pancakes, Paul leaned back in his chair and thanked

us kindly.

ÒThat was mighty good chow; been eating nothing

but beans for I donÕt know how long. Tell you what,IÕm tired of working alone. You fellas need a hand?Ó

ÒDepends on what you can do,Ó I said.

ÒWell,Ó said Paul, ÒIÕm mighty handy with an ax,

cleared most of the Great North Woods back in Maine

and floated the lumber down to build Boston and New

York.Ó

ÒZis ez a mighty tough outfeet,Ó warned Frenchy,

shaking his head. ÒYou tell us about you and maybe

you join.Ó

ÒWhere should I begin?Ó Paul laughed.ÒVerever you vant,Ó said Dutch Gus.

ÒThen IÕll start when I was a boy.Ó



Well, none of us could quite see what point that

proved, but we all agreed that shaving wasnÕt worth

Until Paul joined us we hadnÕt gotten mu

done during the Winter of the Blue Snow. Not

Babe, the Blue Ox



156 157

p , g g

the effort it took, ladder or not, almost as bad a waste

of time as taking a bath more than once every other

year.

g

were lazy; far from it. It was just that a fella cou

the snow from the sky, on account of both being

One day Dutch Gus spent half the morning c

away at a cloud that he took for a tree and wou

gone on chopping all day if he hadnÕt popped thwater sack and got himself soaked. Getting we

too good when its fifty below zero, so we called

for lumbering until the spring thaw.

But when Paul joined us it was a whole differe

HeÕd take a couple of steps into the mountains

snow, hold his ax at the end of his stretched-out

. . . oh, I forgot . . . heÕd shout ÒtimberÓ in a loud,

a holler . . . (That would blow the snow off the tre

could see them) . . . then swing his ax, and twen

of timber would begin to fall.Quick as a flash, Paul swung his ax back a

several times, and before the timber could hit the

it was cut into a dozen handy sizes Ð strong stout

for house-building and split wood for the stove.

with Paul sure saved a heap of time.

Not one to waste time, Dutch Gus gathered up

the saved time and stacked it behind the bunkh

use later on. ÒYou never know ven you need mo

he said. And he was right there. Not even Frenchy could

argue with that.

snow. He carefully put his ax down where he co

it again and began to dig with his hands. Pretty



15 15

g

One morning Paul was out cutting timber when he

heard a low ÒMaa maa! Maaa maaa! Maaaa maaaa!Ó

coming from far off in the woods. It was one of the

saddest sounds heÕd ever heard, full of suffering and

loneliness and sorrow and a dozen other miserablefeelings. Nobody, especially somebody with a heart as

big as PaulÕs, could hear something like that and not

want to help.

Paul slung his ax over his shoulder and set off. He

followed that sound halfway across Minnesota, across all

of Wisconsin and Michigan Ð now there you go thinking,

What about Lake Michigan and all those other Great

Lakes? How did he get across them? Well, they wasnÕt

there yet; itÕs that simple. Paul hadnÕt dug them yet. But

even if he had, it was the Winter of the Blue Snow, so theywould have been frozen solid and he could have walked

right across them if they had been there. Now where was

I? Oh, yeah! Ð across Ontario and over into Quebec. Took

him the best part of an hour. ThatÕs what I was told, but

to tell the truth, he probably did it faster, knowing how

fast Paul could move if somebody needed help.

It didnÕt take Paul long to find what was making that

miserable sound. It was a big blue mountain of blue

g g g y

uncovered a beautiful baby ox. The poor critte

cold that it had turned bright blue.

ÒOh, little one,Ó Paul cooed, ÒyouÕre as bl

robinÕs egg in spring.Ó So he unbuttoned his c

pressed the whimpering little critter right up agbig warm heart.

ÒYouÕre so little and so cute and so blue, IÕm

call you Babe.Ó Then he buttoned up his coat a

started for home.

By the time he was stepping from Michig

Wisconsin and into Minnesota, Babe had thaw

He got to squirming, then he poked out his h

gave Paul a nice big, juicy, warm lick, right ac

face. Well, that clinched it for Paul. Nobody h

given him something that nice before, so he decidthen and there that he and Babe were pals for li

When Paul got back to the bunkhouse, we let h

Babe inside for a night or two. After all, they sh

same bunk, so it wasnÕt like anybody was put o

But then Babe began to grow, I mean GROW, a

FAST! Frenchy blamed Sourdough Sam, on ac

all the pancakes he feed Babe Ð must have been

five hundred at a time, but I honestly have to s

count after three hundred and seventy-five.

But whether it was the pancakes or just nature at

work, Babe grew, and fast. He was soon so big that we

The Land of Ten Thousand Lakes

Paul use to say there was nothing better tha

and watching Babe grow. The best way to d



161

g g

told Paul heÕd have to build a barn for Babe before he

grew so big that his horns punched a hole in the roof and

let all the blue snow inside.

So in the hour before sunset Paul knocked together a

mighty nice barn. It measured about twenty-two mileson the square and was tall enough that some of the closer

stars got trapped under the roof and made a really nice

show circling up by the ceiling. Then Paul piled the barn

high with hay and straw and tucked Babe in.

Come around midnight that night I happened to wake

up and saw that PaulÕs bunk was empty. ÒThatÕs mighty

strange,Ó I thought, so I pulled on my boots and coat. It

didnÕt take me long to find where Paul was; all I had to

do was follow his snores. There he was, curled up next

to Babe in the straw. Those two were as cozy and warmas two logs in the stove.

g g y

to look at Babe for a bit then shut your eyes fo

before opening them again. It was easy then to

much Babe had grown while you had them clos

By springtime Babe had grown so big that

really knew how big he really was, so one day Pame to measure him. Here are the figures I g

wouldnÕt swear by them because by the time IÕd

measuring Babe, heÕd grown some more.

As I remember it, Babe measured forty-two ax

plus one Canadian postage stamp between his

only got that measurement once because Frenc

the postage stamp to mail a letter back home to

so I couldnÕt take that measurement again. I n

his weight. Sad to say, every scale I put him on

As to his length, Paul had a telescope that when trimming his own toenails, but not even th

see to the end of BabeÕs tail, so I wasnÕt able to

measurement for his length.

I did get the measurement between the tip

horns. It was the distance a crow could fly in tw

but then I wouldnÕt swear to that one either b

later saw two crows make the trip in one day. S

they split the distance, but then I was never ve

with numbers, so I just quit trying to get an exact

measurement of BabeÕs size.

the upper floors down so the moon could pass

the bunk beds were stacked almost as high. At



162 163

Come the spring thaw, Paul let Babe out of the barn

to get some fresh air and stretch his legs. But there was

something in the air that just drove that calf wild. He

started frisking and kicking up his heels and butting the

air, and pretty soon he took off for the woods. And Paul

was right after him.

They went stomping and sloshing and splashing and

sliding from one end of Minnesota to the other before

Paul finally caught up with him. When they got back to

camp they were both covered with mud from head to toe,

but the countryside looked even worse for the wear.

All that stomping and sloshing and splashing and

sliding had made wide, shallow holes everywhere. The

place looked like one big slice of Swiss cheese. Luckily,

it started to rain the next day, all the holes filled up withwater, and ever since folks have called Minnesota The

Land of Ten Thousand Lakes .

By this time, word had gotten around about how

good it was to work for Paul, so fellas started flooding

in from all over the Great North Woods. So many fellas

poured in that you couldnÕt keep track of them. Soon

Paul had to build a new bunkhouse. It was so tall that

he had to put a hinge about halfway up so they could tilt

was a problem, but not for long. Paul invente

contraption he called the elevator to get the boy

top bunks up and down.

Since the country was now so dotted with la

logging road wound around them like spilled

soup. It made Ss and Bs and As and Es and Qs an

Zs and Ns , some Ms and some Os but never so mu

L or a C and, Lord help us, never a simple I .

It was mighty hard, even creepy, hauling log

road. It twisted and turned so much that a fe

out in the morning would meet himself comi

at night. You never seemed to get anywhere.

Paul told the fellas to make the best of of it, but

came upon Frenchy arguing with himself at one

Dutch with himself at another and not with eache knew he had to do something about all thos

and turns.

The way he solved the problem of that twi

amazes me still. First, he had me forge a nice lo

Each link was so big that you could drive three

abreast through it. Then he hooked one end of t

to BabeÕs yoke and the other end to the twisty r

ÒHo! Babe!Ó he called, and Babe started to p

Even though it took Babe the better part of an

afternoon, he pulled every last twist out of that road.

The Mighty Big Griddle

Pretty soon there were so many fellas wo

the logging camp that Sourdough started to co



164 165

Why, that road started out one hundred and seventy-

five miles from start to finish, but by the time Babe was

done pulling it straight, it was less than a hundred miles

long, give or take a yard or two.

Problem was the chain wasnÕt good as a chain after

that. Babe had pulled so hard that it pulled itself out

into one long pole. I measured it, I think it was a mile

and a half long, but I canÕt be sure; it might have been a

few inches less. Paul didnÕt know what to do with that

iron pole until some fella in West Texas needed a post

for tying a tornado to, so Paul had it floated down the

Mississippi and up the Rio Grande to the Pecos Valley.

All that extra road was a real problem to store. You

couldnÕt store it lying flat, and there was no way to stand

it up on end. But Paul was not one for wasting anything,especially a perfectly good seventy-five miles of road, so

he put an advertisement in the paper and finally some

fellas over in England wrote asking about it.

Paul was happy to oblige them. He folded the road up

and shipped it off. (He had to dig the Great Lakes to get

it out.) Unfortunately, the ship sank, so those fellas had

to find another road, but Paul gave them their money

back. That was the thing about Paul, he never was part

of a crooked deal.

There were too many fellas to feed. Even if he us

last skillet and griddle he had, he couldnÕt keep a

all those fellasÕ hunger for piping hot pancakes

morning he tore off his apron and stormed up to

ÒI canÕt do it no more, Paul; IÕm quitting! Th

way I can cook decent food for this crowd!Ó

ÒNow, donÕt get hasty, Sourdough,Ó Paul re

him. ÒIÕll fix it for you. By tomorrow morning

you a griddle so large you could feed a camp a

times this size.Ó

ÒWell, if this camp gets a hundred times big

quitting for sure.Ó

ÒDonÕt fret none; just go and get the batter r

have you a new griddle by the day after tomorr

make sure you have a nice bed of coals about twacross ready when I get back.Ó

Paul yoked up Babe and, after lifting me up nea

left ear, we set out for the Iron Range out by wher

Lake Superior. First thing Paul and Babe did wa

big trench around a stand of timber while I starte

a nice hot forest fire. Then while it was burning

coals, Paul dug up a big pile of iron-rich ore, and B

I built a nice big furnace for smelting the ore.

Paul and I then got down to smelting the iron out of

the ore, and by midnight we had a nice river of molten

b h ll d h l l h d

Paul and Babe tilted it up on its side. Then we got

like a big wheel. Good thing it was mostly down

h b k d h



167

iron running into a big, shallow, round hole Paul had

dug. (That was the extension of Lake Superior, but he

finished it and the other Great Lakes at an earlier time.)

By morning we had the biggest, castiron griddle the

world had ever seen. We had to use PaulÕs telescope to

inspect its far side, or else it would have taken the better

part of the morning to walk around.

After it had cooled we were ready to take it back to

camp, but the thing was too big for even Babe to haul, so

to camp. When we got back to camp, Sourdough

coals all ready, and Paul knocked the griddle flat

Sourdough to start pouring out his batter.

ÒHow am I going to do that, Paul?Ó Sourdoug

ÒThe griddle ainÕt greased; the batter will stick and

ÒNo problem,Ó said Paul, Òhave some of the fel

slabs of bacon to their feet and skate all around fo

That should grease it up good.Ó

So thatÕs what Sourdough did.

There was one problem though; there was no

pass the pancakes from the center of the griddle. B

Gus fixed that. He fixed up a little cannon on wh

whenever a pancake was finished he aimed it to

fellaÕs plate and fired. At first, some of the fella

bit scared to get in the way of them pancakes (thepretty fast), but once they learned how to use the

like shields and then flip them down real quick

flying pancakes hit, everything was fine.

Some fellas donÕt believe this story, especially

about using the plates like shields, but I was there

it with my own eyes, and IÕm not much given to st

a tale.

The Camp on the Big Onion

After a season or two, we pretty much logged out

that stretch of the Great North Woods, so one winter

d P l id i H

ÒDonÕt worry none, Babe,Ó Paul said. ÒIt ainÕt

fault. I got an idea.Ó

H lk d b k h f h b ildi i h



16 16

day Paul said we were going to move camp. How to

do that was the big question. It would take too long

and be too expensive to tear everything down, pack it

up, cart it off to the new camp and then put it all back

together again. Paul thought about it day and night

before coming up with another one of his ideas.

ÒOl,Ó he said in that big enthusiastic voice of his,

ÒweÕre putting the whole camp on sleds and before the

spring thaw turns all the roads to mud, weÕre moving

out. You make me iron runners, and the other boys

and I will build the sleds and jack up the buildings.Ó

Now, that sounded good, and by the beginning

of March we had everything ready. Paul strung all

the buildings together and hitched up Babe. We all

hopped aboard, and Paul went up to Babe, gave hima hearty pat on the back and whispered in his ear.

Then he stepped aside and called, ÒHo! Babe! Pull!Ó

But no matter how hard Babe tried, the train of

buildings just wouldnÕt budge. Paul went back up to

Babe and gave him another hearty pat on the back

and whispered in his ear, and Babe once again gave it

his best. But the best he could get out of it were some

creaks and groans.

He walked back to the fourth building in th

and called for me to come out onto the porch.

ÒCould you lend me a dime, Ol?Ó

ÒWhy sure, Paul,Ó I said and flipped him one

Paul put the dime in his pocket and walked ba

Babe. After patting him on the back and whisp

in his ear one more time, he stepped aside and c

out, ÒHo! Babe!Ó And sure enough, the whole

of buildings began to slide across the snow as ea

butter across a hot frying pan.

We made a new camp up on the Big O

and things were pretty good there, except fo

mosquitoes. They were as big as flying dogs an

twice as mean. YouÕd be out logging a stand

of timber and those mosquitoes would getyour scent and come buzzing down on

you like someone was ringing a

dinner bell.

It didnÕt matter how much

you swatted at them, it wasnÕt no

use. So we started to go out armed.

When weÕd hear those mosquitoes

coming through the trees, weÕd break

out our skeeter guns and start blasting away. With

the rocketsÕ red glare and the bombs bursting in air, it

s l Fo th of J l B t th t o ld Õt

them skeeterbees to some fella in Colorado who

drilling a railroad tunnel through the Rocky Moun

Th t f ll fi d sk t b s o ld do th o



170 171

was a regular Fourth of July. But even that couldnÕt

keep them at bay.

And if that wasnÕt bad enough, once those

mosquitoes had got our scent, theyÕd follow us back

to camp. Then when we were in our bunks, theyÕd

attack all over again. We closed all the windows and

nailed boards across any crack we found, but those

mosquitoes just swapped their stinger snouts for saw

snouts and cut through the bunkhouse walls.

We tried lining the walls with big sheets of iron,

but even that didnÕt do any good. Those mosquitoes

just screwed on their metal drill snouts and drilled

on through. Once inside they screwed their stinger

snouts back on and began to chow down.

Finally, Paul made a deal with some mighty bigbees, and they agreed to come and take care of the

mosquitoes. But once the bees and the mosquitoes

got together, things only got worse. They fell in love,

and their offspring were worst than the parents. They

had stingers at both ends, so theyÕd get us coming

and going.

A bunch of the fellas were about ready to quit, but

Paul came through again. He sold the whole batch of

That fella figured skeeterbees could do the wor

fine. The skeeterbees themselves were glad fo

change. After all, theyÕd drained us pretty dr

were beginning to look mighty lean themselves.

Once the skeeterbees were gone, life was ni

on the Big Onion. All the labor-saving contrap

Paul invented made our work not much harder

sorting toothpicks, but a lot more fun. Then at

after Sourdough had filled us up with a nice hot

weÕd sit around the bunkhouse stove and swap

As usual, Paul was better than the rest of u

together.

Whenever he got deep into one of his storie

he didnÕt have the right word, heÕd just invent it o

spot. And right as rain, no other word woulddone the trick like PaulÕs new word. Then wh

was finished with the word, heÕd let it go, and it w

twinkle around above our heads a bit before sli

up the chimney and joining the stars. The nigh

pretty bright whenever Paul told a tale, and the

loved trying to count all those new stars.

Well, things were going along right fine u

letter came one day. HereÕs what it said:

President of the United StatesThe White HouseWashington, District of Columbia

Logging the Dakota Territory

Babe hauled us to the Dakota Territory just be

thaw, so while the fellas staggered around like

back on land after a year at sea Paul scouted Õro



173

g fUnited States of America

Dear Mr. Bunyan,

Folks are feeling mighty crowded back east and need moreroom, especially the farmers who are getting squeezed by allthe new towns. I’ve been thinking that the Dakota Territorywould be a good place to move those farms, but it is all coveredwith trees. If you have the time, could you do your country theservice of clearing it by a year from this spring?

Yours Truly,

The President of the United States

Well, Paul was not one to refuse his countryÕs call, so

we broke camp on the Big Onion, and Babe pulled the

whole outfit west. Sad to say, that trip was the last I

ever took with Paul. That letter marked the beginningof the end.

back on land after a year at sea, Paul scouted Õro

countryside, sizing up the job. Now, nobody b

would have been able to scout that land. The

was so thick that if you had tried to thread the

on those pine trees there wasnÕt thread fine eno

the job. It was going to be a mighty big job, b

was never a job too big for Paul to, at least, try

We cut timber and hauled it out of there fas

a hog eats supper. At first, we had to quit at d

Paul made a special deal with the moon. If

put in two years worth of full moons at once, th

would make a speechful of new words and sen

up to spangle the night sky. The Milky Way

so crowded, some of them got pushed out and

falling back to earth as shooting stars, streamithrough the night sky.

Come winter, things were going smoothly un

the purple cow, stopped giving milk. The fel

pretty upset about that because without her

creamy milk SourdoughÕs pancakes tasted prett

Some of the fellas even said theyÕd quit if Pau

do something about it, and right quick. So Pa

thinking, and soon enough he figured out wh

wrong. HereÕs what Paul figured out:

Lucy loved green grass; so when winter came and

all she had to eat was yellow hay, she was mighty

disappointed Fortunately she didnÕt starve herself to

lumber trees, however, but fruit trees, apple trees, wh

he found a spot of clear land.

The stranger said this Johnny Appleseed wandered



174 175

disappointed. Fortunately, she didn t starve herself to

death, but she only ate enough to keep alive, a chomp

or two, but that was far from enough to make sweet,

creamy milk.

So Paul figured he needed to trick her into thinking it

was spring, and he had Johnny Inkslinger, his bookkeeper,

order her some special green glasses from New York.

Now when she looked at the hay, she thought it was

green and started to chomp away. There was one more

problem though. Because it was winter and so cold, her

milk came out ice cream.

One night that winter a stranger arrived at the camp.

He wasnÕt looking for work, just passing through, so

since Paul was always generous with whatever he had at

hand, he let the fella sleep in an extra bunk. All he askedof that fella was he tell a good tale to pay for his chow.

That stranger was happy to oblige, and the tale he told

was mighty strange indeed.

He told about a fella he had met once down Ohio way

back when he was a boy. Folks called this fella Johnny

Appleseed, and he was as different from Paul as night

from day. Unlike Paul, who spent most of his life cutting

down trees, this fella spent his life planting them. Not

g y pp

place to place and had no steady home. So in that w

was a lot like Paul, and in other ways too. He didnÕ

about owning things of this world; he only cared abo

things that helped him with his work. Whatever he n

he carried in a sack on his back, and instead of a rekind of hat, he wore a cooking pot on his head to ke

the rain. And he was always kind to animals.

Well, the next morning the stranger left, and we th

nothing more about him. Why, we all would have for

him for good if the strangest thing hadnÕt happened

that spring, just after we had finished hauling off th

stand of timber weÕd cut.

Come supper time I noticed Paul wasnÕt around

so I went out looking for him. He wasnÕt hard to f

the starlight. I came upon him sitting on a pile of saw

weeping.

ÒWhatÕs the matter, boss?Ó I asked. I donÕt think any

had ever seen Paul cry.

ÒLook what weÕve done, Ol look what weÕve d

And he looked out at the vast, empty plain where the

forest had once been.

ÒWe cut it down, Ol, and there ainÕt one tree left

ÒBut ainÕt that what you wanted?Ó I asked.

ÒDonÕt you see, Ol? We changed this country and

not for the good None of those settlers from back east

of the night, we could hear his whistling as it

with the wind singing through the trees.



176

not for the good. None of those settlers from back east

will ever hear the wind rustlinÕ through the leaves or cool

themselves in the shade of a towering tree like we done.Ó

ÒWell, Paul, there ainÕt nothing we can do about that

now. We canÕt stick those trees back in the ground.Ó

Then that twinkle came into PaulÕs eye, the twinkle he

got whenever he was getting an idea.

ÒOl, do you remember that stranger who came

through last winter and told about a fella named Johnny

Appleseed?Ó

I nodded.

ÒWell,Ó said Paul, standing up and whistling for Babe,

Òhe had a right good idea. IÕm going to do like he done.

Why, thereÕs enough seeds stuck to my shirt right now to

replant all the forests IÕve ever cut down.Ó

And with that Paul took my hand, gave it a hearty shake

and, with Babe at his side, headed off into the glorious,

star-spangled night.

None of us ever saw Paul again. We looked around for

him mighty hard but never could find him. He and Babe

must have worked nights. But we could alway tell where

heÕd been by the stands of saplings weÕd find sprouting in

an open field. And if we listened real careful in the stillness

A Scary Story



Wiley and his mama lived down in the swamp. It was

mighty lonesome down there; nobody ever came around.

Unless it was to see his mama. She was a conjure woman.

ÒBut youÕre a conjure woman, Mama.Ó

ÒThatÕs Õcause I was raised on the Tombigb

whereÕs they all knows conjure.Ó

Wiley and the Hairy Man



10 11

Unless it was to see his mama. She was a conjure woman.

She could make stuff happen, and she could make stuff

disappear. She could put charms on, and she could take

charms off. She was a two-head woman. She could see

what was coming from tomorrow, and she could see

what was following you from the day before last.

One day Wiley said, ÒMama, the hen house needs

fixinÕ. IÕm gonna get my ax anÕ go down to the swamp

anÕ cut me some bamboo poles.Ó

ÒYou watch that swamp,Ó Mama said. ÒYou take your

hounds, you hear, or the Hairy ManÕll get you fÕ sure.Ó

Now, the last thing Wiley wanted to meet was the

Hairy Man. ThatÕs because Wiley knew the Hairy Man

was a mighty bad man. Only thing he wanted to meet

less was the devil himself.ÒMama, whereÕs the Hairy Man from?Ó

ÒNo one knows fÕ sure or how he come to be. Some

says heÕs the devilÕs man anÕ does his work for him up

here. Others says he never was no human man, just one

of them creatures the devil gives special powers to. But

heÕs a conjure man, fÕ sure if heÕs anything, you believe

me! He knows more conjure than most folks in these

parts.Ó

y j

ÒYou ever see the Hairy Man, Mama?Ó

ÒNo, but I heard him once, laughinÕ off in the

with that lowdown mean laugh of his. Now,

scared, child; your mamaÕs gonna keep that o

Man from gettinÕ you.Ó

ÒBut how will I know the Hairy Man, Mama,

him?Ó

ÒCause heÕs ugly! Woeee! Is he ugly! He go

over anÕ eyes burninÕ like coals. HeÕs got feet lik

anÕ big sharp teeth with drool all drippinÕ down.

ÒIÕll watch out for him.Ó

ÒYou take your hound dogs with you. Th

ManÕs scared of dogs.Ó

ÒYes maÕam. IÕll take my hounÕ dawgs where

H-eee-rrr-eee dogs! Barney McCabe, Doodley

Sue Boy, your masterÕs callinÕ you.Ó

When Wiley got to the swamp, it was real quie

for the buzzing of flies and the faroff cry of a gh

It was creepy, real creepy. Suddenly a wild pi

across his path, and the dogs were after it.

ÒBarney McCabe, Doodley Doo anÕ Sue Boy!Ó

But it wasnÕt no use. They were gone.

heard footsteps stomping through the brush. They were

coming towards him.

ÒWiiillleeeyyyyy!Ó cried the scariest voice youÕd ever



12

yyyyy y

want to hear. ÒIÕm gonna git you, Wiiiiii-ley.Ó

Coming through the shallow water was the ugliest

critter youÕll ever want to see. It was covered with coarse

hair and had hoofed feet like a cow and was carrying a

big, old croaker sack.

Fast as he could move, Wiley was up a tree.

The critter stopped beneath the tree and sniffed

around a bit, then it looked up and smiled. Its eyes

burned like coals, and its teeth were as sharp as razors.

And out of the corner of its mouth dripped drool that

burned up the grass.

It was the Hairy Man, for sure!

ÒHellll-looowww, Wiii-leeeey. What you doinÕ up in

that tree? You wanna come down anÕ play?Ó

ÒMy mama told me to stay away from you, Hairy

Man.Ó

ÒHaahaahaa!Ó the Hairy Man laughed and put the

croaker sack down.

ÒWhat you got in that croaker sack, Hairy Man?Ó

ÒI ainÕt got nothinÕ . . . nothinÕ, yet. Haahaahaa!!Ó

Then the Hairy Man picked up WileyÕs ax and began

to chop, laughing hideously with every swing.

ÒHey, Hairy Man! ThatÕs my ax. You put it down.Ó

ÒItÕs mine now, unless you wanna come down anÕ take

it away.Ó

ÒMy mama can study me all the conjure

Barney McCabe, Doodley Doo, Sue Boy! Sic Õem

Just then those hound dogs came bounding o



14 15

And he laughed some more in his horrible way. Then

he got chopping so fast that the wood chips filled the

air.

ÒFly, chips, fly!Ó Wiley cried. ÒOhhhh! Fly back to

where you come from!Ó

But the Hairy Man just went on swinging that ax like

he was having the time of his life.

ÒWait, Hairy Man, wait! IÕll come halfway down if

you conjure this here tree twice as big around.Ó

ÒI ainÕt studyinÕ you no conjure!Ó

ÒBet you canÕt.Ó

ÒI ainÕt even gonna try. Haahaahaa!Ó

And the tree began to sway. Just then Wiley heard

his dogs barking, a far way off.

ÒHeeeerrrreeee dawgs!Ó

ÒYou ainÕt got no hounÕ dawgs. I done sent that pig to

draw Õem off. Haahaahaa!Ó

ÒBarney McCabe, Doodley Doo, Sue Boy! Your

masterÕs callinÕ you!Ó

The barking got louder, and the Hairy Man darted his

eyes from side to side.

ÒYou come down here, boy,Ó he said, ÒanÕ IÕll study

you conjure, fÕ sure.Ó

woods, and the Hairy Man gave one last snarl a

off; he didnÕt stick around to see who they were

for.

ò ô

Mama was waiting on the porch.

ÒWwoooeee!Ó Wiley cried as he pulled her in

slammed the door. ÒI done met the Hairy Man

anÕ got stuck up in a bay tree! Dogs come back a

me, though.Ó

ÒDid he have his croaker sack with him?Ó

ÒYes maÕam!Ó

ÒYou listen here, boy,Ó Mama said. ÒNext tim

go climbinÕ up no bay tree, you hear?Ó

ÒI hear you! No maÕam, I ainÕt. They ainÕt tallIÕm gonna to find me a sycamore! ThatÕs a tall t

ÒYou listen here, boy! You donÕt go climbinÕ n

tree. You stay put on the ground anÕ say, ÔHel

Man!Õ You listeninÕ, boy?Ó

But Wiley was too scared to listen. All he co

was the beating of his heart and the chatterin

teeth.

ÒHow are you gonna learn anything if you donÕt

listen? You wanna be dead, boy?Ó

ÒYes maÕam! I mean, no, maÕ am!Ó

ÒYou do like I say, hear.Ó

So he did as his mama said. He tied up his ho

and went down to the swamp. Everything was



16 17

ÒNow that old Hairy Man ainÕt gonna hurt you Õcause

IÕm gonna tell you how to be rid of him.Ó

ÒIÕll be rid of him, Mama, Õcause heÕll be rid of me.

HeÕll put me in that croaker sack of his!Ó

ÒNow, you listen good anÕ do as I say. Next time youmeet the Hairy Man, you say, ÔHello Hairy Man,Õ anÕ he

says, ÔHello Wiley.Õ AnÕ you says, ÔHairy Man, I heard

you the best conjure man Õround these partsÕ . . . .Ó

Ò. . . you the best conjure man Õround these parts.Ó

ÒThatÕs right, boy. AnÕ heÕll say, ÔI reckon I is.Õ Then

you say, ÔI bet you canÕt turn yourself into something big

like a gee-raff.Õ And you keep tellinÕ him he canÕt, and

sure Õnuff he will.Ó

ÒYes maÕam!Ó

ÒNow, listen up good. Next thing you say is, ÔI bet you

canÕt turn yourself into no agilator,Õ anÕ sure enough he

will. Then you say, ÔWhy, anybody can turn themselves

into something big as a man, but I bet you canÕt turn

yourself into no possum!Õ AnÕ he will! You grab him and

stuff him into his croaker sack anÕ fling Õim into the river.

AnÕ donÕt take no hounÕ dawgs with you, you hear?Ó

ÒYes maÕam,Ó said Wiley, scratching his head. ÒBut it

jusÕ donÕt sound right somehow.Ó

and still and creepy when he got there. Creep

a graveyard at midnight with the wind howling

the trees. Then he felt something breathing heav

him. It was the Hairy Man, and his eyes were bu

coals, and his teeth were dripping drool.ÒHello, Hairy Man,Ó Wiley said, just like his m

him to say.

ÒHellll-looowww, Wiii-leeeey,Ó answered Ha

just like his mama said he would.

ÒAh . . . Ah, uh . . . hear you . . . uhh . . . is . . .

conjure man Õround.Ó

ÒI reckon I is.Ó

ÒWell, bet you canÕt conjure yourself into no

ÒShucks! That ainÕt no trouble.Ó

ÒBet you canÕt!Ó

So the Hairy Man grabbed hold of his head an

it and pulled on his neck till it was ten feet long.

grabbed his arms and legs and twisted and pul

too until he had turned himself into a giraffe.

ÒWoeee! ThatÕs good, Hairy Man. But I bet

turn yourself into no agilator.Ó

So the Hairy Man grabbed hold of himself an

and pulled and pulled and twisted until he had turned

himself into an alligator. But all the while, he kept his

eye on Wiley. He was making sure he didnÕt run off.

ÒHa! ThatÕs whatÕs IÕs good at, makinÕ stuff di

See that birdÕs nest next your head? ItÕs disap

Haahaahaa!Ó



1 1

ÒW000-EEE!Ó Wiley cried. ÒThatÕs good; thatÕs real

good, Hairy Man. But any conjure man can turn hisself

into something big as a man. I bet you canÕt turn yourself

into no possum.Ó

So the Hairy Man twisted around and around andaround until he had twisted himself up real small and

turned himself into a possum.

Wiley grabbed that possum and stuffed it into the

croaker sack, tied it up good and tight, and swung it

around and around and flung it into the river.

Wiley was mighty pleased with himself now, so he

started off for home. But he hadnÕt gone fifty feet when

he saw the Hairy Man coming for him through the trees.

Quick as he could climb, Wiley was up in the top of the

first tree at hand.

ÒHaahaahaa! I done turned myself into the wind anÕ

blew right out of there,Ó laughed the Hairy Man as he

circled around the bottom of the tree. ÒNow IÕs gonna

set right here till you gets hungry anÕ falls out of that

tree. You want me to learn you some conjure?Ó

ÒWell, you done some pretty smart tricks,Ó Wiley said.

ÒBut I bet you canÕt make things disappear anÕ goes where

nobody knows. My mama can do that, anÕ so can I.Ó

ÒHow do I know it was there in the first plac

you canÕt make something I knows is here disap

ÒÓHa! Look at your shirt.Ó

And the shirt disappeared, right off WileyÕs b

ÒWell, thatÕs pretty good, Hairy Man, but t jusÕ a plain old shirt. But this here rope I got tie

my britches been conjured by my mama. I bet y

make it disappear.Ó

ÒHaahaahaa! I can make all the rope in t

county disappear.Ó

ÒBet you canÕt! Bet you canÕt! Bet you canÕt

ÒFrom now on all the rope in this here cou

done disappeared. Haaha . . . .Ó

From far off came the sound of barking dogs

started laughing, and the Hairy Man started

and darting his eyes from side to side.

ÒHairy Man,Ó Wiley laughed, Òyou jusÕ conju

rope off of my dogs. Heerreeee dawgs! Barney

Doodley Doo and Sue Boy! Your masterÕs callin

And the Hairy Man was gone like the wind.

ò ô

Mama was waiting on the porch.

ÒWell, child; did you get him into the croaker sack?Ó

ÒYes maÕam! But he went anÕ turned himself into the

d bl d h lf

ÒChild, fetch a sucklinÕ pigs from the barn.Ó

ÒYes maÕam.Ó

When Wiley had fetched his Mama the suck

h k d l b d l k h



10 11

wind anÕ blowed himself out.Ó

ÒThen why ainÕt you dead?Ó

Wiley slapped his side and laughed.

ÒI done fooled him, Mama! I done fooled him a second

time! I tricked him into conjuring all the rope in this herecounty away, anÕ that set my hounÕ dawgs free!Ó

ÒThat was right smart, Wiley, but now heÕll be after

you fÕ sure.Ó

ÒHmm, thatÕs bad.Ó

ÒBut we done fooled him twice, and if we fool him a

third time, heÕll have to leave you alone.Ó

ÒThen we got to study up quick, mama, Õcause heÕs

gonna be here as soon as it gets dark, anÕ that ainÕt

gonna be long.Ó

ÒThen I better study up directly.Ó

Mama sat down in her rocking chair and began to

mumble up her conjure spells, but Wiley, he didnÕt waste

time with studying. He tied a dog to each door, then he

built a roaring fire in the fire place, and finally he broke

his mamaÕs broom in half and made a hex sign that he

stuck across the window. Hairy Man wouldnÕt get in any

of those ways.

she tucked it into WileyÕs bed like it was her own

ÒMama! Why you tuckinÕ that sucklinÕ pig

bed?Ó

ÒYou hush, child, or the Hairy ManÕs gonna

fÕ sure. Now get up into the loft. ItÕs gettinÕ darkHairy ManÕs gonna be here real soon.Ó

Wiley didnÕt need to be told twice. He scram

into the loft and pulled the ladder after him. M

back down in her chair and began to rock.

In no time it was dark. Somewhere far off, a g

was calling, but suddenly it became real quiet re

The dogs began to whimper and whine. They tu

their ropes and clawed at the floor. Wiley pe

through a crack, and way off by the edge of the

he could see something big against the sky. It

and it had horns that stuck up above the trees.

ÒMaaawww-maaaaaaa!Ó it called, ÒIÕs comi

your baby.Ó

It was the Hairy Man. He ran across the f

tore up the fence. He circled the house, snar

scratching on the walls. Then Wiley heard the fla

great wings, and something heavy landed on th

ÒGrrrrrrrr!Ó it snarled, and the dogs tore free and dove

under the bed, whimpering like there was no tomorrow.

The Hairy Man jumped down onto the porch and

b t hi th d

ÒOhhh,Ó said the Hairy Man, ÒthatÕs jusÕ wha

So Mama threw open the door and let him in

ÒMy babyÕs over there, in that bed.Ó

ÒY h!Ó



12 13

began scratching on the door.

ÒMaaaaw-maaaa, I come to git your baby.Ó

ÒYou ainÕt getting my baby, Hairy Man,Ó Mama

hollered back.

ÒGive him here! If you donÕt, IÕs gonna come in anÕ gityou. IÕm blue-gummed, anÕ IÕs gonna bite you anÕ pieÕsin

you, fÕ sure!Ó

ÒIÕm right blue-gummed myself, anÕ IÕll bite you right

back,Ó Mama laughed.

ÒYou give him here! Or IÕll set your house on fire!

Haahaahaa! Yeah!Ó

ÒI got plenty of sweet milk to put your fire out with.Ó

The Hairy Man laid his head against the door and

snarled through a crack. He was getting mad.

ÒYou donÕt want me to dry up your spring, or to make

your cow go dry, or to send a swarm of boll weevils out

of the ground to eat up your cotton?Ó

ÒThatÕd be pretty mean, Hairy Man.Ó

ÒWell, IÕm a mighty mean man! I ainÕt never seen a

man as mean as me. Haah!Ó

ÒI tell you what, Hairy Man, if I give you my baby, will

you go away anÕ leave us in peace?Ó

ÒYeah!Ó

Hairy Man rushed over and pulled back the c

ÒAaagghhh!!!Ó he screamed. ÒThere ainÕt not

but a sucklinÕ pig!Ó

ÒWell,Ó Mama laughed, ÒI ainÕt said what kindIÕd give you, anÕ that sucklinÕ pigÕs sure Õnuf be

me, anÕ I done sure Õnuf give him to you!Ó

With that, Hairy Man fell to raging and yel

stomping and jumping up and down.

ÒNow you get out of my house, Hairy Man,

ordered, swatting him with her broom.

Hairy Man grabbed up that suckling pig an

one last snarl, fled back to the swamp.

ÒHe gone, Mama?Ó Wiley asked.

ÒGone forever, child. We done fooled him thr

anÕ he ainÕt never cominÕ back.Ó

Oh! Susanna

I come from Alabama

With my Banjo on my knee Ð

Author:Arthur M. Pittis has been a class and high school humateacher in Waldorf schools for twenty-four years, rst a



y j y

IÕs goinÕ to LouÕsiana,

My true love for to see,

It rainÕd all night the day I left,

The weather it was dry;The sun so hot I froze to death Ð

Susanna, donÕt you cry.

Oh! Susanna, do not cry for me,

I come from Alabama,

With my Banjo on my knee.

I had a dream the other night,

When every thing was still;

I thought I saw Susanna dear,

A cominÕ down the hill;

A buckwheat cake was in her mouth,

A tear was in her eye,

I says, IÕs cominÕ from the south, Ð

Susanna, donÕt you cry.

Oh! Susanna, do not cry for me,

I come from Alabama,

With my Banjo on my knee.

– Stephen Collins Foster (14)

Waldorf School of Baltimore and now at the Austin WaSchool. He is the author of Pedagogical Theatre and member of the Leadership Council of AWSNA. He is thetwo adult daughters who received Waldorf educations .

Illustrator:Ausa M. Peacock attended the Austin Waldorf School frokindergarten through twelfth grade and is currently stuart at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario. In illustrseries, she called upon her experience as a student in thschool in creating her warm and evocative drawings.

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