CARTWRIGHT’S TELL ALL SHAME

       

       

       

       

#TEAMWILSON: CARTWRIGHT BLASTS ‘AMATEUR’ TEAM MATES EXCLUSIVE

STONE

BENHAM

THOMAS

WILSON

PAGE 4 SUNDAY MIRROR 30 June 2013 PAGE 5 SUNDAY MIRROR 30 June 2013

Gavin Thomas: highly sought after utility man Nick Benham is tipped to be appointed vice captain Stone: adds unpredictable flair

Wilson: first outing as skipper

PHILIP CARTWRIGHT is today s e n s a t i o n a l l y e x p o s e d a s undermining any chance Team Wilson have of winning at this Autumn’s Gosport Games in an exclusive undercover sting operation carried out by the Sunday Mirror Black Country born Cartwright, 30, was caught by the Sunday Mirror as he described in no uncertain terms the disarray and ill-feeling inside the Team Wilson camp. He was taped telling undercover Mirror reporters in Reading’s ‘Back of Beyond’ Wetherspoons: “The whole setup’s a disaster – from top to bottom, no one seems to have a clue what the plan should be for Gosport. I’m asking the right questions but not getting any answers” When pressed on Team Wilson’s team select ion, independently adjudicated and based on a series of random picks, Cartwright said it screamed of foul play: “I was watching the names being drawn thinking ‘hang on a minute’. When you watch the video back it’s pretty obvious there’s something going on. I’m no mug” As Cartwright devoured bacon and eggs courtesy of our undercover man in the field, he began opening up about his rivalry with Middle East based Luke William Tapp – an long-term nemesis and opposing joint captain of tournament hopefuls Team Bestmen. “He’s sat out there in the middle of the desert counting his gold and trying to figure out another w a y o f u n d e r m i n i n g m y professionalism. I’ve got the better of him time and time again – I wish the kid would just chuck the towel in and be done with it.” The current Fantasy League champion then turned his attention to the recent coup attempt – in which he addressed both teams in an emotive email calling for Tapp to step down and ‘do the right thing’: “Basically, someone had to take some action – no one else had the balls for it and I’m a Brummie with ambition who’s confident in my ability to run a tighter ship than that cowboy. The

“I look at Team Bestmen and yeah sure, they’re beatable – but it’s a col lect ion of h ighly ta lented individuals with an exceptionally strong management team in Tapp and Mann behind them. Wallis, Chandler, Dymond – I mean the names go on and on. And of course Q Game [crowd favourite Adam Antoszkiw] – I mean he’ll pull in the crowds there’s no doubt about that.” As Cartwright sunk another latte our man pressed him on what plans he had in the lead up to Gosport, given his obviously disagreement with the way the team was being run. With an arrogant grin across his face, Cartwright led back in his chair and brazenly went into the details of what he defined as his ‘masterplan’: “Simple really, I’ll run the show the way I want it. I’ve already got the support of a couple of team mates – namely Doctor C [Pardoe] and one other – and I’ll be running a series of meetings to discuss how we remove the skipper and get rid of some of the dead wood.” He then went on to reveal how a move to Team Bestmen shouldn’t be ruled out: “Everyone’s talking about how Tapp and I could never work together but I’ve put in a request via my PA to meet with him, put a few things on the table and see where we go. He’s guaranteed gold with me on his side, all he’s got to do is remove his ego. We’ve had our ups and downs before – sure, but look at where I’m at. A team of nobodys going headlong into arguably the biggest competition of the year – 2nd place in unacceptable in my eyes. Always has been always will be. And my motto is, if you can’t win fairly – cheat. I’ll do anything to make sure I’m top of the podium in Gosport.” And with that this incredible undercover interview came to a close and we paid up, shook Cartwright’s hand and watching him leave. There’s no doubt that these revelations will send shockwaves through Team Wilson – and indeed the sport as a whole. Tapp and Mann will publically express calm, but will privately not be able to be l ieve Cartwr ight ' s care less outburst – in particular the personal nature of the criticism directed at the same teammates he’ll be walking out with in 3 months time. Arguably though, the real work is on

personal responses I’ve had have been incredible, I’m supported privately by 95% of those involved. One more slip by Tapp and his reign is over basically. I’ll give him a month” Cartwright then shifted the criticism from his opponents to members of his own team, singling each of them out for a poisonous diatribe of vicious hate – starting with fellow Midlander, Peter Stone: “I’ve barely spoken to him in the last 6 months – he’s off doing his thing and I’m doing mine. The lad’s a talent but is he a professional who’s going to bring home the bacon in Gosport? No comment. I was dismayed when his name came out.”

The criticism didn’t just stop at Stone – with an unprompted Cartwright going through each of his team mates: “Smithy [Martin Smith] – I’m like a mentor to the bloke, but the way he looks up at me is sickening. I understand the importance of being a role model – but the kid needs to find his only personal ity and stop replicating mine. Everything from dynamic midfielder technique to my gags – I’m fed up with it. Plus, I’m not convinced he’s over the schooling I gave him in last season’s fantasy league – he’s avoided talking about it Cartwright, dribbling mouthfuls of scrambled egg then turns his hate

toward housewife’s favourite Richard Pardoe: “If Dr Cunt [Pardoe’s alter ego] could get his head out of sexting on Tinder we might stand a chance – but unlikely to happen. The guy’s obsessed with rape, pillage and plunder – he won’t stop going on about Raul Moat – it’s disgusting.” Fan favourite and the bookies choice for vice-captain Nick Benham was next in line for a torrent of verbal filth: “Mr Bottle-Job himself – his reputation precedes him. Tom Mann’s face as Benham’s name came out of the hat was a picture – utter relief. Without me in this side he’d be one of the headliners, but he’ll need to learn to

step aside and let me take centre stage. He’ll come into it with a safety net injury that’s for sure. Gav Thomas has already text me saying he’s unhappy with Benham’s inclusion. Not convinced the gaffer’s got it right at all.” And that was the last positive word for Thomas: “In love apparently – I don’t want blokes in my side walking up and down waving semis around talking about how much they love their girlfriends. He’ll be up until 4am the night before tee off shagging probably. Wouldn’t have got my pick – not a chance. Difficult character to deal with too – doesn’t take criticism

at all well. I dropped a couple of C bombs on his a few years back in Germany, his head went down and that was it – chucked the towel in. He’d better be prepared for a few more this time around.” Cartwright saved the harshest criticism for the Wilson brothers – starting with Wilson Junior, David: “I had a good look at this lad a couple of weeks back, fundamental ly he couldn’t go the distance – as soon I upped the pace he disappeared. He’s one of the ones I’m most worried about in Gosport – just has a tendency to go hard then go missing. If Team Bestmen set a decent pace, we’re

doomed with this lad on board.” Wilson’s golfing ability was also called into question: “I’m packing a couple of pairs of armbands and a rubber ring for Posh – god knows he’ll need then given the amount of times I’ve seen him stick the ball in the drink. Disaster written all over it.” But of course it was the team’s leader Malcolm Wilson who was then taken to task over his ability to motivate a winning team. “I’ve run Facebook polls, I’ve trended on Twitter, I’ve even gone out in the streets of Berkshire and asked the public who they think deserves the captaincy. Guess what, it ain’t Malcolm. I’m the most talented

individual on Team Wilson by a stretch – but I can’t operate when I’m surrounded by amateurs. The leadership is all wrong – I made a case early doors with the backing of a number of high profile individuals for the captaincy – but nothing’s come to fruition. The request has simply been ignored and I won’t tolerate it. To rub my nose in it further, management produced a laughable video reel looking at the various names in this competition, and the lad introducing me claimed never to heard of me – let alone my world beating abilities. And where was my skipper when this was going on? Nowhere to be seen.”

Malcolm Wilson’s side, who now has the task of picking up a thousand broken pieces in an attempt to build a shell of a team in time for Gosport. It’s obvious that Cartwright could play a huge role in bringing him success, but on if he can keep hold of him and somehow temper the ego. It’s still quite possible that Cartwright will push for that meeting with Tapp and will attempt to force a transfer request over to Team Bestmen. Last night, Paddy Power was offering 7/1 on Cartwright being exchanged out of Team Wilson for a member of the opposition.

PC’s unreal rant in summary: Failed leadership coup has left"Black Country boy with egg on his face

from Simon Davies additional reporting by Louise Smith

Claims to have evidence suggesting team draw was rigged

Denies Tapp rivalry has become an obsession

Refuses to stand by Wilson Jnr’s past tour performances n the field

Plans to hold secret team meetings without skipper Wilson

Plotting to offer cash to go kart engineers for faster car

Indicates that he may still force a move to Team Bestmen

Scathing personal attacks on every one of his team mates