Summer 2011CSU Fresno

Writing a Personal Statementby Lupita Fuentes

Welcome

Classroom standards

• When the teacher is talking please listen attentively.

• Raise your hand if you have a question.• If you are tempted to speak please wait until

the brainstorm activity. • Please wait until the end of class to share your

favorite magazines or Avon books.

Objectives

• Understand the importance of a personal statement

• Practice writing a personal statement

• Understand the format of a personal statement

Rationale• Our mission is to empower, engage and connect

families to support student achievement. • It is important for families to understand the

importance of writing a personal statement for a college application.

• Encourage your teenager to plan & write this essay before it is due.

• Many teachers call an autobiographical incident a “crystal moment” (Sizoo, Bob pg. 18).

English-Language Arts Content Standards (11th & 12th grade)

• 1.0 Writing Strategies• Students write coherent & focused texts that convey a well-defined perspective &

tightly reasoned argument. The writing demonstrates students’ awareness of the audience & purpose & progression through the stages of the writing process.

• Organization and Purpose• 1.1 Demonstrate an understanding of the elements of discourse (e.g. purpose,

speaker, audience, form) when completing narrative, expository, persuasive, or descriptive writing assignments.

• 1.3 Structure ideas and arguments in a sustained, persuasive, & sophisticated way & support them with precise and relevant examples.

• 2.0 Writing Applications• 2.1 Write fictional, autobiographical, or biographical narratives:

a. Narrate a sequence of events & communicate their significance to the audience.

b. Locate scenes & incidents in specific places.

Content Standards (cont.)• 2.3 Write reflective compositions:a. Explore the significance of personal experiences, events, conditions, or concerns by using rhetorical strategies, (e.g., narration, description, exposition, persuasion).2.4 Write historical investigation reports:b. Analyze several historical records of a single event, examining critical relationships between elements of the research topic.

Personal statement

• View the UC Video on the personal statementPersonal Statement

Brainstorm

• Create a timeline of events that reflects your accomplishments in school positive (+) & hardships you have overcome negative (-) i.e. clubs, leadership positions, illness etc.

• Create a family tree of events. For example, events that have shaped your family, 1st member to attend school, immigrating to the U.S., moving, growing up in the SJV, marriage, etc.

• Recall a memory or a special photo that tells where you came from and describe it or create a photo of where you see yourself in the future.

• List personal, work and people values to help you choose a career field. What do you value? What is important to you? How do you feel about people, places or various activities?

Brainstorm

Questions to ask yourself before you write

• What’s special and unique about your life story?

• What are your career goals?• When did you become interested in this field?• Who has influenced you and why?• Describe any unusual circumstances,

challenges or hardships you have faced & how you overcame them.

Group Activity

With your partner share your brainstorm activity.

Characteristics of a personal statement• Describes you as a unique individual with your family,

school, community and the world.• Allows you to explain why you should be admitted to

the college of your choice.• It adds clarity, richness, and meaning to your

application.• Explains how factors outside of school have helped or

impeded your ability to achieve academic and intellectual opportunities.

• Shows your achievements, initiative, motivation, persistence, & service to others.

• Offers an understanding of you as a unique individual.

Characteristics of a personal statement (cont.)

• Portrays details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) that might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants.

• It allows the reader to get to know you as an individual through your experiences & accomplishments.

• An autobiography is told in 1st person to explain events in a person’s life.

UC Davis - Writing Prompt

• Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school

– and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Example of a personal statementIntroduction

I would like to study agriculture at California State University, Fresno. I am a senior at FHS high school and have been involved in the Future Farmers of America (FFA) Program all four years. I have been involved in various leadership positions within our club. My freshmen year I was the Treasurer, my sophomore year I was the Secretary, and my junior year I was the Vice President. I am currently, the President and we have over 300 active participants at our school site. I have purchased and cared for several animals. I have also farmed land and won national recognition for my efforts with support from my family. I was featured in Country Farmer Magazine for my accomplishments. I believe CSUF will prepare me to be the best agriculture teacher in the San Joaquin Valley.

Example of a personal statement (cont.)Body

Growing up I wanted to attend CSUF because my mother is a former graduate. My great grandfathers were farmers and I would like to continue that legacy. We currently farm on the Westside and I feel a certain affinity towards CSUF. As an FFA participant I had the opportunity to visit CSUF to see your top-notch agriculture program. After meeting with several instructors, I feel that this program will prepare me for a bright future in the San Joaquin Valley. Since I come from a generation of farmers I feel that a partnership with CSUF will be lifelong and invaluable.

I have received several awards from various agriculture programs for my work at FHS. I received the Farmer John award for excellence in raising a pig. I also won first place at the Madera Fair for showing my steer. I placed first at the Fresno Fair for my lamb. I am proud to be a Future Farmer of America and am confident that my contributions to your university will help other students and the community at large.

My agriculture teachers have also been instrumental in helping me achieve my success at FHS. I would like to follow in their footsteps and teach other students about agriculture. A teacher that I truly admire is Mr. Pash because he is knowledgeable about crops, and animals. He is always willing to help me and the other students in our club after school and on the weekends with our animals. He provides us with guidance and encouragement. He is passionate and enthusiastic about agriculture and this has motivated me to consider becoming an agriculture teacher. I know that CSUF offers excellent agriculture and teacher education programs and I only envision attending your institution for higher learning.

Example of a personal statement (cont.)

Conclusion

I would like to reside in the San Joaquin Valley to support the bread basket of the world with new varieties that I hope to produce as a result of attending CSUFresno. I anticipate learning and growing from my instructors. I feel that being a farmer and an agriculture teacher will better prepare our Future Farmers of America with advanced technological discoveries.

Practice writing a personal statement

• When your child applies for college they will need to write a personal statement. This tells college representatives what your child would like to study at the university.

• Have your child practice writing an essay that has 500 words that explains what they can bring to the university based on their accomplishments and aspirations.

ReflectionGroup Activity

With your partner discuss what you learned from this lesson and how this information will help you support your child’s future?

Objectives

• Understand the importance of a personal statement

• Understand the format of a personal statement

• Practice writing a personal statement

Questions

?

Works CitedDoran, J., Brizee, A., . Purdue OWL: Writing the Personal Statement (n.d.).

Retrieved June 20, 2011, from http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01

Sizoo, Bob. (2001). Teaching Powerful Writing. New York, NY: Scholastic Inc.

UC Davis Undergraduate Admissions (n.d.). Retrieved July 6, 2011 fromhttp://admissions.ucdavis.edu/admissions/personal_statement.cfm

UCLA Undergraduate Admissions & Relations with Schools (n.d.). Retrieved June 20, 2011, from http://www.admissions.ucla/prospect/perstmt.htm

Session Feedback

Session Feedback1. What was confusing or unclear about this lesson?

2. What do you think parents would be confused about?

3. What changes do you suggest for this lesson?4. What did you like?5. Comments:

Thank You!