StyleStyle

““Writing is easy. All you have to do is Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words” (Mark Twain)cross out the wrong words” (Mark Twain)

What's the difference between these 2 passages?What's the difference between these 2 passages?

She won't die [in childbirth]. She's just having a bad time. The initial labor is usually protracted. She's only having a bad time. Afterward we'd say what a bad time and Catherine would say it wasn't really so bad. But what if she should die? She can't die. Yes, but what if she should die. She can't, I tell you. Don't be a fool. It's just a bad time. It's just nature giving her hell. It's only the first labor, which is almost always protracted. Yes, but what if she should die? She can't die. Why would she die? What reason is there for her to die? There's a just a child that has to be born, the by-product of good nights in Milan. It makes trouble and is born and then you look after it and get fond of it maybe. But what if she should die? She won't. She's all right. But what if she should die? Hey, what about that? What if she should die?

[. . .] A doctor came in followed by a nurse. He held something in his two hands that looked like a freshly skinned rabbit and hurried across the corridor with it and in through another door. I went down to the door he had gone into and found them in the room doing things to a new-born child. The doctor held him up for me to see. he held him by the heels and slapped him."

--Ernest Hemingway from A Farewell to Arms, pages 320-21; 324-25 (NY: Charles' Scribner's Sons, 1957).

To be, or not to be, that is the question,Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sufferThe slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleepNo more, and by a sleep to say we endThe heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocksThat flesh is heir to; 'tis a consummationDevoutly to be wished to die to sleep! -To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub,For in that sleep of death what dreams may comeWhen we have shuffled off this mortal coilMust give us pause - there's the respectThat makes calamity of so long life:For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,The pangs of disprized love, the law's delay,The insolence of office, and the spurnsThat patient merit of th'unworthy takes,When he himself might his quietus makeWith a bare bodkin; who would fardels bear,To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

William ShakespeareThe Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of DenmarkAct 3, Scene 1

Hamlet:

STYLE

Includes th writer's way of thinking and way of presenting information.Results from linguistic choices. Sharpens expressive meaning as well as referential meaning. Conveys subtleties of meaning and evaluation.

What produces style?What produces style?

OrganizationParagraph developmentSentence structureSentence rhythmDictionPunctuation

What do we mean by style?What do we mean by style?

Have you ever wondered what your instructors mean Have you ever wondered what your instructors mean when they write "wordy" or "passive voice" in the when they write "wordy" or "passive voice" in the margins of your paper? Do you sometimes sense that margins of your paper? Do you sometimes sense that your sentences could be stronger, clearer, shorter, or your sentences could be stronger, clearer, shorter, or more effective? Do you often feel that you know what more effective? Do you often feel that you know what you mean but do not know how to say it? When you you mean but do not know how to say it? When you read your writing it may seem perfectly clear, but other read your writing it may seem perfectly clear, but other people may not be getting your point. If you have people may not be getting your point. If you have checked your grammar, punctuation, and even that checked your grammar, punctuation, and even that handy thesaurus on your computer and still find a ton handy thesaurus on your computer and still find a ton of circled words and question marks on your graded of circled words and question marks on your graded paper, you may need to work on your writing paper, you may need to work on your writing style.style.

Part of the problem with style is that it's Part of the problem with style is that it's subjective. Different readers have subjective. Different readers have different ideas about what constitutes different ideas about what constitutes good writing style, and so do different good writing style, and so do different instructors and different academic instructors and different academic departments. departments.

In fact, the instructor probably just cares In fact, the instructor probably just cares about your development as a writer. She about your development as a writer. She wants you to see what she thinks wants you to see what she thinks interferes with your argument and learn interferes with your argument and learn to express your ideas more directly, to express your ideas more directly, elegantly, and persuasively. elegantly, and persuasively.

Say what you meanSay what you mean

Your instructor can't read your mind—she Your instructor can't read your mind—she can only read your paper. And if she can't can only read your paper. And if she can't understand what you are saying, she's understand what you are saying, she's going to have trouble giving you credit for going to have trouble giving you credit for it. Remember that the most important it. Remember that the most important goal in every paper is to get your point goal in every paper is to get your point across as straightforwardly as possible. across as straightforwardly as possible.

Say it in the appropriate Say it in the appropriate tonetone

You should make sure that your You should make sure that your instructor isn't distracted from instructor isn't distracted from whatwhat you you are trying to say by are trying to say by howhow you are saying it. you are saying it.

How to improveHow to improve

If you learn how to recognize matters of If you learn how to recognize matters of style, you will have more control over style, you will have more control over your writing your writing

So let's look at what instructors often So let's look at what instructors often perceive as the biggest style "crimes." perceive as the biggest style "crimes."

WordinessWordiness

ProblemProblem: Clichés: Clichés ExampleExample: : France France bit off more than it could bit off more than it could

chewchew in Vietnam, and America's intervention in Vietnam, and America's intervention was was too little, too latetoo little, too late..

How to correct itHow to correct it: Clichés stand in for more : Clichés stand in for more precise descriptions of something. Slow down precise descriptions of something. Slow down and write exactly, precisely what you mean. If and write exactly, precisely what you mean. If you get stuck, ask yourself "why? or "how?"you get stuck, ask yourself "why? or "how?"

Better exampleBetter example: : As the French faltered in As the French faltered in Vietnam, even American intervention could not Vietnam, even American intervention could not save the collapsing regime.save the collapsing regime.

ProblemProblem: Lots of qualifiers (very, often, : Lots of qualifiers (very, often, hopefully, practically, basically, really, mostly) hopefully, practically, basically, really, mostly) MostMost people people usuallyusually think that think that manymany puppies puppies are are generallygenerally prettypretty cute. cute.

How to correct itHow to correct it: Eliminate some of these : Eliminate some of these qualifiers and you will have a stronger, more qualifiers and you will have a stronger, more direct point. Some qualifiers are necessary, but direct point. Some qualifiers are necessary, but you should use them carefully and thoughtfully.you should use them carefully and thoughtfully.

Better exampleBetter example:: Most people think that Most people think that puppies are cute.puppies are cute.

ProblemProblem: Using two words that mean the same : Using two words that mean the same thingthing

ExampleExample:: Adrienne fulfilled all our Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes and hopes and dreamsdreams when she saved the when she saved the whole entirewhole entire planet.planet.

How to correct itHow to correct it: Choose the most precise : Choose the most precise term and delete the extra one.term and delete the extra one.

Better exampleBetter example: : Adrienne fullfilled all our Adrienne fullfilled all our hopes when she saved the planet.hopes when she saved the planet.

Some "wordy" constructions take a little more practice locating and Some "wordy" constructions take a little more practice locating and correcting:correcting:

ProblemProblem: Overuse of prepositional phrases (prepositions are little words : Overuse of prepositional phrases (prepositions are little words such as in, over, of, for, at, etc.)such as in, over, of, for, at, etc.)

ExampleExample:: The reason for the failure of the economic system of the island The reason for the failure of the economic system of the island was the inability of Gilligan in finding adequate resources without incurring was the inability of Gilligan in finding adequate resources without incurring expenses at the hands of the headhunters on the other side of the island.expenses at the hands of the headhunters on the other side of the island.

How to locate and correct this problemHow to locate and correct this problem: circle all of the prepositional : circle all of the prepositional phrases in your paper. A few are okay, but several in a sentence make phrases in your paper. A few are okay, but several in a sentence make the reader struggle to find and follow your subject and point. Try asking the reader struggle to find and follow your subject and point. Try asking yourself "Who did what to whom?" Replace the first sentence with your yourself "Who did what to whom?" Replace the first sentence with your new sentence.new sentence.

Better exampleBetter example: : Gilligan hurt the economic system of the island because Gilligan hurt the economic system of the island because he couldn't find adequate resources without angering the headhunters.he couldn't find adequate resources without angering the headhunters.

ProblemProblem: Stock phrases you can replace with one or : Stock phrases you can replace with one or two words. two words.

ExamplesExamples: The fact that I did not like the aliens : The fact that I did not like the aliens affected our working relationship.affected our working relationship.

The aliens must be addressed in a professional The aliens must be addressed in a professional manner.manner.

How to locate and correct this problemHow to locate and correct this problem: Ask yourself : Ask yourself what the words actually mean. Correct this problem by what the words actually mean. Correct this problem by looking for a single word that expresses your meaning.looking for a single word that expresses your meaning.

Better examplesBetter examples::My dislike of the aliens affected our working My dislike of the aliens affected our working relationship.relationship.The aliens must be addressed professionally.The aliens must be addressed professionally.

Here's a list of common or stock phrases to Here's a list of common or stock phrases to find in your paper and replace with a single find in your paper and replace with a single word (see Joseph M. Williams, word (see Joseph M. Williams, Style: Ten Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and GraceLessons in Clarity and Grace):):

The reason forThe reason forFor the reason thatFor the reason thatDue to the fact thatDue to the fact thatOwing to the face thatOwing to the face thatIn light of the fact thatIn light of the fact thatConsidering the fact Considering the fact thatthatOn the grounds thatOn the grounds that

BecauseBecauseSinceSincewhywhy

Despite Despite the fact the fact thatthatRegardlesRegardless of the s of the fact that fact that

AlthoughAlthougheven even thoughthough

In the In the event thatevent thatIf it should If it should happen happen thatthatUnder Under circumstancircumstances in ces in whichwhich

ifif

On the occasion ofOn the occasion ofIn a situation in whichIn a situation in whichUnder circumstances in Under circumstances in whichwhich

WhenWhen

As regardsAs regardsIn reference toIn reference toWith regard toWith regard toConcerning the matter Concerning the matter ofofWhere ___ is Where ___ is concernedconcerned

aboutabout

It is crucial thatIt is crucial thatIt is necessary thatIt is necessary thatThere is a There is a need/necessity forneed/necessity forIt is important that It is important that Is able toIs able toIs in a position toIs in a position toHas the opportunity toHas the opportunity toHas the capacity forHas the capacity forHas the ability toHas the ability to

mustmustshouldshouldcancan

It is possible thatIt is possible thatThere is a chance thatThere is a chance thatIt could happen thatIt could happen thatThe possibility exists forThe possibility exists for

MayMayMightMightCanCanCouldCould

Prior toPrior toIn anticipation ofIn anticipation ofSubsequent toSubsequent toFollowing onFollowing onAt the same time asAt the same time asSimultaneously withSimultaneously with

BeforeBeforeWhenWhenAsAsAfterAfter

Not different Not different Not many Not many Not haveNot haveNot includeNot includeNot considerNot considerNot the sameNot the sameNot oftenNot oftenNot allowNot allowNot admitNot admitNot acceptNot accept

SimilarSimilarFewFewLackLackOmitOmitIgnoreIgnoreDifferentDifferentRarelyRarelyPreventPreventDenyDenyRejectReject

Verb troubleVerb trouble

Instructors may write comments like "passive Instructors may write comments like "passive voice" or "weak verbs" in your paper's margins. voice" or "weak verbs" in your paper's margins. While using passive voice or weak verbs is While using passive voice or weak verbs is grammatically correct, it may make the reader grammatically correct, it may make the reader work too hard to decipher your meaning. Use work too hard to decipher your meaning. Use passive voice and weak verbs strategically passive voice and weak verbs strategically once you get the hang of them. If you're still once you get the hang of them. If you're still struggling to figure out what they are, you need struggling to figure out what they are, you need to aim for "active voice" and "strong verbs" to to aim for "active voice" and "strong verbs" to improve your writing. improve your writing.

ProblemProblem: Passive voice: Passive voice ExamplesExamples: Here's a passive sentence with the actor at the end of the : Here's a passive sentence with the actor at the end of the

sentence (not at the beginning, where you would usually expect the sentence (not at the beginning, where you would usually expect the subject): subject): The alien remains were lost by the government.The alien remains were lost by the government.

Some passive sentences omit actor entirely:Some passive sentences omit actor entirely:The alien remains were lost.The alien remains were lost.The car was wrecked.The car was wrecked.

Better (active) examplesBetter (active) examples: : The government lost the alien remains.The government lost the alien remains.I wrecked the car.I wrecked the car.

How to locate and correct this problemHow to locate and correct this problem: Locate passive voice in your : Locate passive voice in your papers by circling every "to be" verb (am, is, are, was, were, be, been, papers by circling every "to be" verb (am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being ). Can the reader tell who or what is doing the action in your being ). Can the reader tell who or what is doing the action in your sentence? Correct passive constructions by putting that actor back in sentence? Correct passive constructions by putting that actor back in the subject of the sentence and getting rid of the "to be" verb. Note that the subject of the sentence and getting rid of the "to be" verb. Note that you may have to add information in the sentence; you have to specify you may have to add information in the sentence; you have to specify whowho in your sentence and thereby keep the reader from guessing. in your sentence and thereby keep the reader from guessing.

Problem: NominalizationProblem: Nominalization

Too much nominalization in a paper can Too much nominalization in a paper can sound abstract and make the reader sound abstract and make the reader work to decipher your meaning. work to decipher your meaning.

ExamplesExamples: : The discovery of the aliens was made by The discovery of the aliens was made by the government.the government.The car wreck was a result of a lack of The car wreck was a result of a lack of visual focusvisual focus

How to locate and correct the problemHow to locate and correct the problem: Locate : Locate nominalization in your papers by circling all of the nouns. Do nominalization in your papers by circling all of the nouns. Do you have several in a single sentence? Correct nominalization you have several in a single sentence? Correct nominalization by returning the abstract noun to its function as verb or by returning the abstract noun to its function as verb or adjective. adjective. The government discovered the aliens.The government discovered the aliens.My sister wrecked the car when she forgot to wear her glasses.My sister wrecked the car when she forgot to wear her glasses.

Also, look for sentences that begin with the following phrases: Also, look for sentences that begin with the following phrases: there is, there are, this is, that is, it is (expletives). Sometimes there is, there are, this is, that is, it is (expletives). Sometimes you need these phrases to refer to an immediately preceding you need these phrases to refer to an immediately preceding sentence without repeating yourself, but they may be hiding sentence without repeating yourself, but they may be hiding nominalizations.nominalizations.

ExampleExample:: There is a need for further study of aliens. There is a need for further study of aliens.

Better exampleBetter example: : We need to study aliens further.We need to study aliens further.

Problem: Weak verbs Problem: Weak verbs

Look for "weak" verbs. Verbs such as "to Look for "weak" verbs. Verbs such as "to be" verbs and "have" verbs can often be be" verbs and "have" verbs can often be replaced by "strong" verbs, verbs that replaced by "strong" verbs, verbs that carry specific meaning. Concentrate on carry specific meaning. Concentrate on what the subject of your sentence what the subject of your sentence doesdoes and make and make thatthat the verb in the sentence. the verb in the sentence.

ExampleExample: : The aliens have a positive effect on our The aliens have a positive effect on our ecosystem.ecosystem.

How to locate and correct this problemHow to locate and correct this problem: Locate : Locate weak verbs by circling all of the "to be" and "have" weak verbs by circling all of the "to be" and "have" verbs in your paper. Correct weak verbs by omitting verbs in your paper. Correct weak verbs by omitting them and replacing them with a more meaningful verb. them and replacing them with a more meaningful verb. Notice that you will need to add information as you Notice that you will need to add information as you specify the nature of the action. Answer the question: specify the nature of the action. Answer the question: "What does the subject really "What does the subject really dodo?" ?"

Better exampleBetter example: : The aliens improve our ecosystem.The aliens improve our ecosystem.

Ostentatious erudition Ostentatious erudition

You may be inclined to improve your You may be inclined to improve your style by sounding more "collegiate" or by style by sounding more "collegiate" or by using multi-syllabic words. Don't ever do using multi-syllabic words. Don't ever do so without looking up those words to so without looking up those words to make sure you know exactly what they make sure you know exactly what they mean. mean.

Many times, an inappropriate synonym will Many times, an inappropriate synonym will make you sound like you don't know what you make you sound like you don't know what you are talking about or, worse yet, give the are talking about or, worse yet, give the impression that you are plagiarizing from a impression that you are plagiarizing from a source you don't understand. Never use a word source you don't understand. Never use a word you can't clearly define. It's okay to use big you can't clearly define. It's okay to use big words if you know them well and they fit your words if you know them well and they fit your overall tone—just make sure your tone is overall tone—just make sure your tone is consistent consistent

Now you are ready to Now you are ready to editedit

You are probably not guilty of every style You are probably not guilty of every style "crime" in this presentation. If you consistently "crime" in this presentation. If you consistently struggle with one of these issues, focus your struggle with one of these issues, focus your attention on that one. If you try to fix all of them attention on that one. If you try to fix all of them at once, you may find your approach too at once, you may find your approach too scattered or the task just plain overwhelming. scattered or the task just plain overwhelming. This strategy may sound time-consuming, but This strategy may sound time-consuming, but by isolating your style problems, you will find by isolating your style problems, you will find them easier to fix. them easier to fix.

Don’t forget thisDon’t forget this

Feinstein, George W. “Letter from a Feinstein, George W. “Letter from a Triple-Threat Grammarian”, COLLEGE Triple-Threat Grammarian”, COLLEGE ENGLISH ( April 1961 ) p. 408.ENGLISH ( April 1961 ) p. 408.

Dear sir; you never past me me grammer Dear sir; you never past me me grammer because you was prejudice but i got this because you was prejudice but i got this here athaletic scholarship any way. Well, here athaletic scholarship any way. Well, the other day I finely got to writing the the other day I finely got to writing the rules down so as I can always study it if rules down so as I can always study it if they ever slip my mind.they ever slip my mind.

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent. Just between you and I, case is important.Just between you and I, case is important. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.Verbs has to agree with their subjects. Don’t use no double negatives.Don’t use no double negatives. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.A writer mustn’t shift your point of view. When dangling, don’t use participles.When dangling, don’t use participles. Don’t write a run on sentence, you got to punctuate Don’t write a run on sentence, you got to punctuate

it.it. About sentence fragments.About sentence fragments. In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we

use commas to keep a string of items apart.use commas to keep a string of items apart.

Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary. Its important to use apostrophe’s right.Its important to use apostrophe’s right. Don’t abbrev.Don’t abbrev. Check to see if you any words out.Check to see if you any words out. In my opinion I think that an author when he is writing In my opinion I think that an author when he is writing

shouldn’t get into the habit of making use of too many shouldn’t get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words that he does not need to put his unnecessary words that he does not need to put his message across.message across.

Last but not least, lay off clichés.Last but not least, lay off clichés. Being bad grammar, the writer should avoid dangling Being bad grammar, the writer should avoid dangling

participles.participles. Parallel construction with coordinate conjunctions is not Parallel construction with coordinate conjunctions is not

only an aid to clarity but is also the mark of a good writer.only an aid to clarity but is also the mark of a good writer.

It behooves the writer to avoid archaic expressions.It behooves the writer to avoid archaic expressions. In scholarly writing, don’t use contractions.In scholarly writing, don’t use contractions. A truly good writer is always especially careful to A truly good writer is always especially careful to

practically eliminate the too-frequent use of adverbs.practically eliminate the too-frequent use of adverbs. Use a comma before non-restrictive clauses which are Use a comma before non-restrictive clauses which are

a common source of difficulty.a common source of difficulty. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not

correct.correct. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in

commas.commas. Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.

Revise the following sentences

ORIGINAL: The reason buying a new house is so difficult is because the process is so complex.

PROBLEM: Redundancy – “reason… is because”

REVISED: Buying a house is so difficult because the process is so complex.

ORIGINAL: The first step is to achieve familiarization with the area in which you plan to buy.

PROBLEM: Nominalization – “to achieve familiarization”

REVISED: Buying a house is difficult because the process' complexity.

ORIGINAL: A realtor who is experienced and well

recommended is a must.

PROBLEM: Unnecessary clause.

REVISED: An experienced, well-recommended

realtor is a must.

ORIGINAL: Trying to find a low-interest loan complicates the home-buying situation.

PROBLEM: Roundabout construction using “situation.”

REVISED: Trying to find a low-interest loan complicates buying a home.

ORIGINAL: It is when you can find a fixed-interest mortgage loan with single-digit interest that you should lock it in, rather than settling for a variable rate loan.

PROBLEM: Unnecessary expletive construction.

REVISED: When you find a mortgage loan with a single-digit fixed rate, you should lock it in, rather than settling for a variable rate loan.

Works consulted Works consulted

Lanham, Richard A. Lanham, Richard A. Revising ProseRevising Prose, 3rd ed. New York: Macmillan , 3rd ed. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1992. Publishing Company, 1992.

Strunk, William Jr. Strunk, William Jr. The Elements of StyleThe Elements of Style, 4th ed. Boston: Allyn & , 4th ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2000.Bacon, 2000.

Williams, Joseph M. Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity & GraceStyle: Ten Lessons in Clarity & Grace, 4th ed. , 4th ed. New York: HarperCollins College Publishers, 1994. New York: HarperCollins College Publishers, 1994.