Style & EditingPart III

where

hyphens

since

Greater vs. higher

TECHNICAL COMMUNICATONS Spring 2015 - Althoff

Lecture

12

Usage Suggestions• ______ – usually refers to something preceeding, but

not necessarily “above”; unless you have control of the typesetting for your manuscript, choose preceeding, previously, mentioned, previously described, etc., or specify the section of the manuscript in which the item is provided.

• ______ – (verb) to influence. ______ (verb) to accomplish or bring about / (noun) -- Result. Ex. The excessive heat had an affect on egg developmentEx. There was no effect from the excessive heat.

Usage Suggestions• Apparent(ly) – has multiple interpretations, but

most commonly connotes being visible. For better clarity, choose obvious(ly), clear(ly), seeming(ly) evident(ly), or observable/observably

• ________ – (verb) to become visible. _______ (verb) give the impression of being.

Ex. The chicks appeared from the weedy patch but seemed lethargic.

• Case – has multiple interpretations, and is often vague about what subject or object is being modified. For “in this case” use in this instance. Consider substituting scenarios or trials when describing cohorts with different variables within an experiment.

Usage Suggestions• Compare _____ – to examine similarities and

differences. Compare ___ – to propose as similar.Ex. Canid behavior was compared with that of felids

Ex. Pin oak leaf out was compared to that of red oak

• Comprise – to contain, include, or encompass. . Compose – to constitute. The parts may compose the whole (or not – the whole may be greater than the sum of its parts), but the whole comprises (includes) the parts. Ex. The distribution of river otters comprises Maine.

Ex. The distribution of the river otters is composed of North America.

Usage Suggestions

• Correlated _____ but related ___ – Things are not correlated to one another.

• Different From – Not different than.Ex. White-tailed deer are different from mule

deer in the way tines branch off.Ex. White-tailed deer are

different than mule deer in the way tines branch off.

• Due to – “Due” is an adjective, and must directly modify a noun. Substitute __________.

Incorrect: The hunt was postponed due to rain. Correct: The hunt was postponed because of

rain. Correct: The hunt's postponement

was due to rain.

Usage Suggestions

• Experience(d) – only living creatures have experiences; inanimate objects do not.Incorrect: The trap station experienced multiple capturesCorrect: Multiple captures were made at one trap

stationCorrect: The pronghorn experienced poor nutrition last

winter because of heavy snow conditions

• ________ – “Following” has the connotation of being an action in three-dimensional space; “After” has the connotation of being a relative position in time.

Incorrect: Following the weighing of eggs, we…Correct: After weighing the eggs, we…..

Usage Suggestions

• _____________ – frequently ambiguous; “higher” and “lower” have the connotation of being positions in three-dimensional space. For descriptions of

amounts sizesnumbers relative quality

....choose greater, lesser, larger, smaller, more,fewer, better, or worse.

Can be appropriate with units, such as temperature and pressure, that traditionally displayed a meniscus on a vertical gauge, or such as concentration and wavelength, which were registered as relative heights on chart recorders.

High(er) / Low(er) …con’t

• The weights of male bobwhite quail were higher than those of same-aged females.

vs.

The weights of male bobwhite quail were greater than those of same-aged females

• Killdeer egg temperatures were lower when one of the adults was positioned over the nest.

vs.

Killdeer egg temperatures were less when one of the adults was positioned over the nest.

Usage Suggestions• ________ – usually should be placed within a

sentence, not at the beginning.• Majority – 50% plus 0.00001 (1.0).

Slight majority: 51.5 % of the diet was insectsLarge majority: 85.5% of the diet was insects

Diet: 25% crawfish, 26% grasshoppers, 15% mussels, 20% corn, 14% berries

…then we could write: “The majority of the diet consisted of arthropods.”

25% + 26% = 51%

Usage Suggestions

• _______ – “since” has the connotation of being a relative position in time. Choose __________ or

inasmuch as.Ex. Since most illegal poaching occurs after sunset

and before sunrise, conservation officers usuallyconduct their surveillance during those hours.

Ex. Because most illegal poaching occurs after sunset and before sunrise, conservation officers usuallyconduct their surveillance during those hours.

Ex. Since 1970, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service hasmonitored piping plover reproductive success in the Great Plains region.

Usage Suggestions• That / Which – Use “that’ when the clause is

required to identify the item being modified:

Ex: The only adult male southern flying squirrelthat was apparently mating was the malethat had the largest body mass.

Ex: The only adult male southern flying squirrelthat was apparently mating, which had the largest body mass, had the largest home range, too.

Use a comma and ‘_______’ when the clause is extra information, and leaving it out would not change the meaning of the sentence.

Usage Suggestions

• _______ – “Where” has the connotation of being a physical place. Choose in which or for which when not a physical place

Correct: Where salamanders congregrate in the

spring to breed is known as a vernal pool.

Incorrect: Where most people think salamanders arealways requiring a vernal pool to survive,it is usually only during the breeding

season.Correct: For which most people think

salamanders are always requiring a vernal pool to survive, it it is usually only during the breeding season.

Usage Suggestions

• While – “While” has the connotation of being a synchronous relationship between two occurrences in time. Choose and, although, or whereas whenever actions or results did not occur at the same time.

Correct: While the adults were out hunting for food, the

coyote pups slept.Incorrect: While the cool season plants were green

during spring sampling, the same plants were brown by late summer.

Correct: The cool season plants were green duringthe spring sampling whereas the sameplants were brown by late

Hyphenation of Compound Modifiers

• Be sure to use hyphens whenever two or more nouns or adjectives combine to modify a third.

Ex: “A man eating fish…” is not the same as

“A man-eating fish….” “3 day trapping session vs. 3-day trapping session”

• Avoid “overuse” of hypens, though:

Ex: “It is a poorly-understood set of regulations” vs. “It is a poorly understood set of regulations”

normally, do not use a hyphen for adverbs (that usually end in –ly) when they modify adjectives

Word “Editing / Markup” Feature

• Good for “tracking” document changes and allowing minimal re-entry of information/editing someone else has provided

• Good for providing comments that don’t end of totally cluttering up the document (i.e., like DPA’s handwritten chicken scratchings).

• Can be challenging when merging input from 2 or more reviewers at a time.

Editorial comments, trackingof changes

Changein document