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ENGLISH II EOC WRITINGSTAAR® Preparation and Practice

STAAR® is a registered trademark of the Texas Education Agency, which does not endorse this program or its content.

• 14 Revision and Editing passages and 10 Composition prompts

• 19 Skill Lessons with scaffolded practice• 3-step approach for efficient remediation

Use with Your Students!

Copyright © 2016 by Sirius Education Solutions LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, scanning, recording, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

STAAR® is a registered trademark of the Texas Education Agency. The Texas Education Agency does not endorse this program or its content. Sirius Education Solutions is not affiliated with the Texas Education Agency or the State of Texas.

STAAR® test questions copyright © by the Texas Education Agency. All rights reserved.

Printed in Texas.

ISBN: 978-1-943008-10-0

Possession of this publication in print format does not entitle users to convert this publication, or any portion of it, into electronic format.

Thank you for respecting the copyright and supporting the effort involved in creating this product.

Sampler

iii Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Welcome Letter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vAbout the STAAR English II EOC Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viHow to Use This Book for STAAR Success . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . viiSTAAR Multiple-Choice Test-Taking Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xStudent Progress Monitoring Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xii

Section 1: RevisionIntroduction to Revision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

REVISION DIAGNOSTIC TEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

REVISION SKILLS1 Revising a Thesis or Position Statement (E2.15A, E2.16A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 Adding Supporting Details (E2.15A, E2.16A, E2.16E) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Combining Sentences (E2.13C) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 Improving Transitions (E2.13C, E2.15A, E2.16D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155 Revising for Coherence (E2.15A, E2.16D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186 Improving Clarity (E2.13C) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21

REVISION PRACTICERevision 1 A Texas Geological Treasure: The Caverns of Sonora . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24Revision 2 Still Endangered: The Gray Wolves of Yellowstone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28Revision 3 On the Drumline at Marching Band Competition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32Revision 4 Six-Man Football in Texas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36Revision 5 Reclaim the Dark Skies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

REVISION POST TEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

Section 2: Editing Introduction to Editing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

EDITING DIAGNOSTIC TEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

EDITING SKILLS1 Using Correct Capitalization (E2.18A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 532 Using Commas Correctly (E2.18B) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 553 Using Verbs Correctly (E2.17A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 574 Making Verbs Agree with Subjects (E2.13D) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 605 Choosing Correct Spellings (E2.13D, E2.19A) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 626 Using Correct Sentence Structure (E2.17C) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 647 Using Apostrophes Correctly (E2.18B) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 678 Answering STAAR Editing Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69

Included in Sampler

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iv English II EOC Writing

EDITING PRACTICEEditing 1 Texas Prairie Dogs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71Editing 2 What Is a Concussion? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75Editing 3 Visiting Mars: Dangers of Boredom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79Editing 4 Ads Can Make Young People Materialistic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83Editing 5 The Happiest Times of My Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

EDITING POST TEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91

Section 3: CompositionIntroduction to Composition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

COMPOSITION SKILLS1 Analyzing the Prompt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 962 Drafting the Position Statement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 983 Developing Supporting Ideas and Evidence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1004 Organizing Ideas and Details . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1025 Revising and Editing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

COMPOSITION PRACTICEPrompt 1 Is it better for a leader to be loved or feared? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107Prompt 2 Can someone experience success without failure? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110Prompt 3 Are real-life relationships different than online ones? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113Prompt 4 What is your most precious resource? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116Prompt 5 When is it important to be honest? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119Prompt 6 What is the goal of education? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122Prompt 7 What matters most in life? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125Prompt 8 Can anger be useful? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128Prompt 9 Should people try to be normal? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131Prompt 10 When is it important to show courage? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134

Student Answer Sheets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

Sampler

v Welcome Letter

Dear Students,

The STAAR English II assessment measures your knowledge of the English II standards (TEKS). STAAR tests are not designed to measure many important qualities of character and intelligence — as this cartoon shows. But performing well on the STAAR tests is important, so you want to do all you can to succeed on them. That’s where this workbook comes in!

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Qualities Not Measured by STAAR Tests

Big-Picture ThinkingComp�ionReliabilityMotivationHumorEmpathy

Sense of Beauty

Humility

Sense of Wonder

PersistenceCuriosityEnthusiasm

COURAGE

LeadershipCreativityCivic-Minded

Resourcefulness

PositivityResilience

What are some other important qualities of character and intelligence missing in STAAR tests?

This workbook was designed to help you prepare for the Writing part of the STAAR English II test by• teaching the skills to approach and answer different STAAR test questions, and by• providing practice questions that are similar to those you will answer on the actual test.

But as good as this workbook is, it only helps if you use it. So, please use this workbook!

Practicing Smart Is the Secret to STAAR Success There is a secret to success on the STAAR tests — practice, practice, and more practice. This is good news because you are in control of how much effort you put into practicing. But not all practice is the same… you need to practice smart.

First, practice with test questions that are very similar to the actual STAAR test. That’s easy because this workbook is full of them! Next, focus on your weaknesses —spend extra time on questions you have trouble with. Think of it like this: if your basketball shot needs improvement, you don’t practice dribbling. Instead, you practice shooting.

Focusing on your weaknesses also means carefully analyzing each test question you get wrong. Why did you get it wrong? Why is another answer correct? You can learn more from test questions you get wrong, so don’t be afraid of making mistakes. If your basketball shot is off, you identify what you are doing wrong (too far left) and correct it with your next shot (aim further right).

When you practice, give each question your full attention. Do not take a break until after you answer the question. Your attention is like a muscle that you can build by using it, one practice test question at a time. Do you believe unfocused, sloppy practice of your basketball shot will help you perform during a big game? No! Your attention is your greatest power. You develop it with practice.

Preparing for the STAAR test can actually be a fun challenge. And when you practice smart, you are building life skills while you prepare for the STAAR test!

Your partners in STAAR success,

The Sirius Education Team

Sampler

vi English II EOC Writing

About the STAAR English II EOC AssessmentOne Test, Two PartsThe STAAR English II assessment is divided into two parts: reading and writing. Each part counts as 50% of the total English II test score. Each part includes both multiple-choice questions (54% of total) and writing prompts (46% of total).

Parts Number and Types of Questions % of Score

READING 50%

28 Multiple-Choice Items* 30%

2 Short Answers 20% student writing

WRITING 50%

22 Multiple-Choice Items* 24%

1 Composition 26% student writing

100%

When and How Is the Test Administered? The STAAR English II assessment is given three times each school year: in the fall, the spring, and the summer. Both parts of the English II test are given in one day, and students have five hours to take the test. You are allowed to take breaks, but they count as part of the 5-hour time limit. Breaks include water, bathroom, snack, and physical or mental breaks.

What Content Is Tested?As with all STAAR tests, each question relates to a specific learning standard from the Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills (TEKS). The TEKS are grouped into six reporting categories, as shown below.

Parts TEKS Reporting Categories Tested

READING

50%

Literary Texts (Cat. 2) multiple choice

Informational Texts (Cat. 3) multiple choice

Analysis Across Genres (Cat. 1) multiple choice

Analysis Across Genres (Cat. 1) short answers

WRITING

50%

Revision (Cat. 5) multiple choice

Editing (Cat. 6) multiple choice

Composition (Cat. 4) essay

How This WRITING Workbook Is OrganizedThis workbook is divided into three sections that align with the Writing part of the STAAR English II test.

• Section 1: Revision • Section 2: Editing • Section 3: Composition

Although Composition is tested first in the actual STAAR test, it is last in this workbook because both the Revision and Editing skills will help you with writing your composition. Also, Revision questions are always the first multiple-choice questions, followed by Editing questions. This sequence mimics the writing process, in which you first focus on the “big” picture organization and development of your ideas and then proofread for punctuation and spelling, etc.

A separate workbook titled English II EOC Reading: STAAR Preparation and Practice provides instruction and practice in the Reading part of the STAAR English II test.

* The actual STAAR test may have more multiple-choice questions if you take the test in the spring. This is because the test would include additional “field test” items that do not count toward your score.

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How to Use This Book for STAAR Success3-Step Approach to Differentiate InstructionThis interactive workbook is easily adapted for different needs and includes an optional 3-step approach to efficiently prioritize and individualize remediation when preparation time is limited.

STEP 1 Identify Your Needs — Diagnostic Tests for Editing and RevisionUse the Diagnostic Tests for the Editing and Revision categories to identify what you know and what you need to review. Record your results in the Progress Monitoring Chart.

4 English II EOC Writing ■ Revision

2 What is the most effective way to combine sentences 6 and 7? (E2.13C)

F Using the large, powerful telescopes located at observatories in Chile and Hawaii, scientists determined that billions of years ago, Mars held a primitive ocean as large as Earth’s Arctic Ocean.

G Billions of years ago, Mars had an ocean as large as the Arctic Ocean on Earth, and this discovery was made by scientists with the help of telescopes in Chile and Hawaii.

H Two powerful telescopes located in Chile and Hawaii are the reasons that scientists could determine that Mars once had a large Arctic Ocean.

J ocean.

3 Which sentence would best follow sentence 12 to add supporting details? (E2.15A)

A

B

C Using special equipment, researchers got enough data to prove their theories that

D Upon close inspection, scientists were able to see water molecules among the

GO ON

Revision Diagnostic

Read the selection and choose the best answer to each question.

When Elton was asked to write about discoveries in space, he chose to write about the discovery of water on Mars. Read Elton’s paper and think about the ways he should revise it.

xii Student Progress Monitoring Chart

Student Progress Monitoring Chart—How Am I Doing?Use the Diagnostic Tests to identify skill lessons you need to review. Use the steps below to monitor your progress. Because some skill lessons cover a broad standard or are assessed in multiple ways, those lessons are referred to more than once in the chart. Boldfaced skill lessons are connected to Readiness TEKS.

1 Diagnostic Mark a ✓ in the box beside each question that you answered correctly. Find the total correct.2 Review Study the skill lesson and practice associated with each question not checked.3 Post Test Mark a ✓ in the box beside each question that you answered correctly. Find the total correct. Refer

back to the skill lesson for additional practice. (The Post Test questions are in the exact same order as those in the Diagnostic Test.)

REVISIONQuestion 1 2 Review: Skill Lesson 3 TEKS

1 Revising a Thesis or Position Statement (p. 6) E2.15A

2 Combining Sentences (p. 12) E2.13C

3 Adding Supporting Details (p. 9) E2.15A

4 Improving Transitions (p. 15) E2.15A

5 Revising for Coherence (p. 18) E2.15A

6 Improving Clarity (p. 21) E2.13C

Total / 6 Total / 6

EDITINGQuestion 1 2 Review: Skill Lesson 3 TEKS

1 Using Correct Capitalization (p. 53) E2.18A

2 Using Commas Correctly (p. 55) E2.18B

3 Making Verbs Agree with Subjects (p. 60) E2.13D

4 Using Correct Sentence Structure (p. 64) E2.17C

5 Using Apostrophes Correctly (p. 67) E2.18B

6 Choosing Correct Spellings (p. 62) E2.19A

7 Using Verbs Correctly (p. 57) E2.17A

Total / 7 Total / 7

STEP 2 Focus Remediation — STAAR Instruction and PracticeUse your Diagnostic results to focus TEKS instruction and STAAR practice to meet your unique needs.

9

Revision Skill 2

Revision Skill ■ Adding Details

Adding Supporting DetailsSome items on the STAAR test will ask you to revise an essay by adding supporting details to strengthen an idea or paragraph. Supporting details might be additional facts, examples, expert opinions, or quotations. You will have to f analyze details to draw valid inferences that show how the details connect to the ideas in the paragraph.

STAAR StrategyThe excerpt and item below are from a previous STAAR test. Here are steps you can take for responding to items that ask you to analyze and add supporting details.

1 Read the paragraph and item below. The paragraph is from an essay urging caution in posting to social media.

2 Read each answer choice. Then, re-read the paragraph with the target sentence. Ask yourself which answer best supports the idea expressed in the target sentence.

(E2.15A, E2.16A, E2.16E)

(13) Be careful giving out information too. (14) In 2010 an Indiana couple posted

that they would be out for the evening, and their home was burglarized while they

were away. (15) An investigation revealed that the burglar was an old acquaintance

from whom the woman had recently accepted a friend request. (16) It’s important for

people to remember that when they let the social-networking world know where they

are, they may also be letting thousands of people know where they’re not.

Kayla wants to add a quotation that will help support the idea presented in sentence 16. Analyze the quotations below. Which of these would be the most effective to insert after sentence 16?

A One state official noted, “It’s the same as giving the key to your house to a burglar.”

B The founder of Facebook once said, “When you give everyone a voice and give people power, the system usually ends up in a really good place.”

C “Our head of social media is the customer,” said a spokesperson for one well-known company.

D “We’re all social creatures,” one magazine states. STAAR English II, 2015, #5

67

Editing Skill 7

Editing Skill ■ Apostrophes

Using Apostrophes CorrectlyApostrophes are used for two main purposes. They show possession, telling who or what owns or has something. They also show where letters are left out in a contraction, a shortened version of two words.

PossessivesUse an apostrophe to form the possessive of a noun or an indefinite pronoun.

Type of Word To Form a Possessive… Examples

Singular noun, indefinite pronoun, or plural noun not ending in s

Add an apostrophe and an s. car’s engine, Hannah’s sister, anyone’s guess, children’s shoes, men’s room

Plural noun ending in s Add only an apostrophe. wives’ tales, teachers’ training

Do not use an apostrophe to form plurals.

Possessive Form Plural Form

the cat’s paw four cats

my computer’s battery a dozen computers

at the year’s end for several years

at the Johnson’s house a gift from the Johnsons

Skill CheckUnderline the correct expression in the parentheses.

1. Both of my (cats, cat’s) believe the sunny window ledge is (theirs, their’s).

2. Three of the posters are (her’s, hers) and the rest are (Tamika’s, Tamikas).

3. We went door to door, but by (days, day’s) end, only the (Garcia’s, Garcias) and the (Smiths, Smith’s) invited us inside.

4. The (mens, men’s) room is down the hall from the (womens, women’s).

ContractionsA contraction combines two words by replacing one or more letters with an apostrophe. To form a contraction, use an apostrophe to show where the letter or letters have been left out. For example: they have becomes they’ve.

Common Contractions Contractions with “not”

I am you are she is they are

I’m you’re she’s they’re

is nothas notcan notwill not

isn’thasn’t can’twon’t

(E2.18B)

3 Which of these sentences could be added after sentence to add more details and support the main idea in the paragraph? (E2.15A)

A In very small schools, a football player could also be a band member and perform at half time.

B Schools must have six players to start the game, although the game can go on with only four or five players on a side.

C Now larger high schools and colleges are using the seven-on-seven practice arrangement, probably based on six-man football.

D Drive by any town in Texas on a Friday night, and the football stadium is filled with

Revision Practice Revision 4


When Barrett was asked to write about playing team sports, he chose to write about his six-man football team. Read Barrett’s paper and think about the ways he should revise it. When

Six-Man Football in Texas

(1) At the end of Super Bowl 50, Von Miller—a defensive linebacker playing for the

champion Denver Broncos—won the Most Valuable Player Award. (2) He was selected

because of his fierce and unrelenting efforts that almost singlehandedly saved the game for

the Broncos. (3) Where did Von Miller first learn to play football like that? (4) The answer

STEP 3 Monitor Your Progress — Post TestsUse the Editing and Revision Post Tests to monitor progress and to identify additional lessons for review.

How to Use This Book for STAAR Success

Each item correlates to a TEKS and Skill lesson

TEKS TEKS

Independent Practice

Editing Post Test


When Jaime was asked to write about early ranching in Texas, he chose to write about the

follow.

Diagnostic Tests for Revision and Editing

Practice mirrors released STAAR tests6 Revision

Skill Lessons

8 Editing Skill Lessonsxii Student Progress Monitoring Chart

Student Progress Monitoring Chart—How Am I Doing?Use the Diagnostic Tests to identify skill lessons you need to review. Use the steps below to monitor your progress. Because some skill lessons cover a broad standard or are assessed in multiple ways, those lessons are referred to more than once in the chart. Boldfaced skill lessons are connected to Readiness TEKS.





2 Combining Sentences (p. 12) E2.13C


4 Improving Transitions (p. 15) E2.15A


6 Improving Clarity (p. 21) E2.13C

Total / 6 Total / 6


1 Using Correct Capitalization (p. 53) E2.18A

2 Using Commas Correctly (p. 55) E2.18B



5 Using Apostrophes Correctly (p. 67) E2.18B


7 Using Verbs Correctly (p. 57) E2.17A

Total / 7 Total / 7

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Focus on skills you need most

Monitor your progress

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Sampler

viii English II EOC Writing

How to Use This Book for STAAR SuccessFocused Remediation is provided by 14 skill lessons and 14 practice passages with questions based on released STAAR items .

Revision Skills6 Revision Skill lessons analyze released test items and model a 3-step STAAR Strategy that students learn and then apply in Guided Practice.

9

Revision Skill 2

Revision Skill ■ Adding Details

Adding Supporting DetailsSome items on the STAAR test will ask you to revise an essay by adding supporting details to strengthen an idea or paragraph. Supporting details might be additional facts, examples, expert opinions, or quotations. You will have to f analyze details to draw valid inferences that show how the details connect to the ideas in the paragraph.

STAAR StrategyThe excerpt and item below are from a previous STAAR test. Here are steps you can take for responding to items that ask you to analyze and add supporting details.

1 Read the paragraph and item below. The paragraph is from an essay urging caution in posting to social media.

2 Read each answer choice. Then, re-read the paragraph with the target sentence. Ask yourself which answer best supports the idea expressed in the target sentence.

(E2.15A, E2.16A, E2.16E)

(13) Be careful giving out information too. (14) In 2010 an Indiana couple posted

that they would be out for the evening, and their home was burglarized while they

were away. (15) An investigation revealed that the burglar was an old acquaintance

from whom the woman had recently accepted a friend request. (16) It’s important for

people to remember that when they let the social-networking world know where they

are, they may also be letting thousands of people know where they’re not.

Kayla wants to add a quotation that will help support the idea presented in sentence 16. Analyze the quotations below. Which of these would be the most effective to insert after sentence 16?

A One state official noted, “It’s the same as giving the key to your house to a burglar.”

B The founder of Facebook once said, “When you give everyone a voice and give people power, the system usually ends up in a really good place.”


D “We’re all social creatures,” one magazine states. STAAR English II, 2015, #5

Think About Your Thinking

In the chart below, evaluate each answer choice based on what you have learned about adding supporting details. One evaluation has been completed for you.

Answer Choices

EvaluationIs Answer Correct?

F

3 Cross out the answer choices that do not support and should not follow the sentence. Choose the answer with the best supporting details.

A the key to your house to a burglar.”

B The founder of Facebook once said, “When you give everyone a voice and give people power, the system usually ends up in a really good place.’’


D “We’re all social creatures,” one magazine states.

Guided PracticeRead the excerpt from an essay about studying other languages. Then respond to the question below.

(6) Learning a foreign language opens the door to understanding another culture

and can be a valuable skill in the job market. (7) Even so, some students see learning

another language as less important than other studies and doubt it will help them

unless they visit the other country sometime in the future. (8) But, we now know that

speaking two languages provides immediate personal benefits.

Larry wants to add evidence to strengthen the claim he is making in this paragraph of his essay. Which of these items from his research notes will provide the strongest support?

F Researchers found that people speaking two languages are better at paying attention and multi-tasking than those speaking only one, according to the National Institutes of Health.

G A brain imaging study to start later this year will examine which areas of the brain are activated when people are learning or speaking a second language.

The quotation specifically and strongly supports sentence 16.

The idea in these quotes do not support the idea that comes before them.

Editing Skills7 Editing Skill lessons provide instruction and practice in the grammar, usage, and punctuation rules and conventions that are tested. The 8th skill lesson gives students a strategy for answering STAAR editing questions.

60 English II EOC Writing ■ Editing

Editing Skill 4Making Verbs Agree

with SubjectsAs you edit your own writing, look for mistakes in subject-verb agreement. A subject and verb “agree” when they have the same number. That is, a singular verb agrees with a singular subject, and a plural verb agrees with a plural subject.

The cat (singular subject) often scratches (singular verb) the couch.

The cats (plural subject) often scratch (plural verb) the couch.

Agreement with Compound SubjectsCompound subjects joined by and:Compound subjects joined by and usually take a plural verb, even when the compound is of a singular subject and a plural subject (because, joined together by and, they are a plural).

The students and their teacher have brought cookies.

Compound subjects joined by or, nor:For two or more singular subjects, use a singular verb.

SINGULAR: The student or the teacher has brought cookies.

For two or more plural subjects, use a plural verb.PLURAL: The students or the teachers have brought cookies.

When a singular subject and a plural subject are joined by or, the verb agrees with the subject closer to the verb: The students or the teacher has brought cookies.

Skill CheckFor each sentence, underline the correct verb form in parentheses.

1. (Has, Have) the club members and the parents gotten on the bus yet?

2. Either the cats or the dog (has, have) moved the rug.

3. Neither the grocery store nor the gas station (was, were) open at that hour.

Agreement with Indefinite PronounsSome indefinite pronouns are singular, and some are plural. Some can be either singular or plural, depending on their meaning in the sentence.

Singular

anybody, anyone, anything, each, either, everybody, everyone, everything, neither, nobody, no one, nothing, one, somebody, someone, something

Everyone from the neighborhood was at the meeting.

Each of the sisters has chosen a pair of shoes.

Plural both, few, many, several A few of the musicians have left the band.

Depends on Meaning

all, any, more, most, none, some All of the ice has melted. (all of it)

All of the ice cubes have melted. (all of them)

(E2.13D)

61 Editing Skill ■ Subject-Verb Agreement

Skill CheckFor each sentence, underline the correct verb form in parentheses.

4. Somebody on the team usually (helps, help) the coaches with the equipment.

5. Few of the coupons (was, were) for any food we liked.

6. All of the money (was, were) still in the ticket box.

Other Problems with Subject-Verb AgreementPhrases or clauses that follow the subject usually do not affect the number of the subject.

The article about gorillas in Africa was troubling.

Dust mites in the air cause problems for people with allergies.

Don’t get confused if the verb comes before the subject. Find the subject and make sure the verb agrees with it.

When were the contest winners announced?

Here are the instructions for the new video game.

Skill CheckFor each sentence, circle the subject or subjects and then underline the correct verb form in parentheses.

7. How late (was, were) the parking garages open?

8. Sandra said this (is, are) just one of the added features in the new version.

9. One runner from the team (has, have) donated her prize to the benefit auction.

Mixed PracticeFor each sentence, circle the subject or subjects and then underline the correct verb form in parentheses.

1. The sign says the path is wet and muddy, and no one (has, have) thought to bring extra socks.

2. Both Jonelle and Jonah (like, likes) to play basketball, but Jonah also (play, plays) chess.

3. Each of the laptops (has, have) been upgraded, but the silver one has more RAM.

4. Nothing we found in the closets (look, looks) like the top to this toy box.

5. What kind of food (does, do) your little brother like?

6. (Are, Is) everything in that box ready to go to the sale table?

verb subject

verbsubject

TEKS

TEKS

Revision Skills use released STAAR items

Varied activity types give students the most helpful form of practice

Mixed practice of the entire rule or convention

Step-by-step test-taking strategies

Show your thinking

Guided Practice

Focused practice of specific rules or conventions tested on released STAAR tests

8 Editing Skill Lessons

6 Revision Skill Lessons

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How to Use This Book for STAAR SuccessRevision and Editing Practice14 passages offer authentic STAAR practice that closely matches released STAAR tests.




When Barrett was asked to write about playing team sports, he chose to write about his six-man football team. Read Barrett’s paper and think about the ways he should revise it. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.






is not surprising. (5) Most teams, like Von Miller’s high school near Dallas, use eleven

players on the field. (6) However, small teams in rural areas don’t have all the coaches or

equipment that they need to play football correctly.

(7) Six-man football uses six players on a team. (8) The games are played on Friday

nights in small, rural communities found generally north of Interstate 10 and west of

Interstate 35—a large area about half the size of the state. (9) Each week during football

season, these communities, with names like Happy, Spur, and Eden, gather to cheer on

players that hope their talents will catch the eye of a college scout, or more modestly, will

take their teams to the district or state playoffs.


1 What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 4? (E2.15A)

A He was a product of a Texas high school football program.

B Von Miller gave credit to his high school football coach.

C “I did not learn in California or Florida, but Texas,” Miller might have said.

D Von has one idea, but people might have others, depending on who you ask.

2 Which of the following, if any, could replace sentence 6 to create a more effective controlling idea? (E2.15A)

F On the other hand, six-man football uses only six players for a game, so the chances of developing another Von Miller are slim.

G Significantly, unlike Von Miller’s experience, many teams from small towns in Texas play games with only six men, because the players all want to be Von Miller.

H However, in 138 small towns across Texas, younger NFL hopefuls, dreaming of becoming another Von Miller, play games known as six-man football.

J Sentence 6 is written correctly in the paper.

3 Which of these sentences could be added after sentence to add more details and support the main idea in the paragraph? (E2.15A)




D Drive by any town in Texas on a Friday night, and the football stadium is filled with players and fans.

Composition Skills and Practice5 Composition Skill lessons provide step-by-step writing instruction that focuses on the essential components of the persuasive composition. 10 practice prompts provide ample scaffolded practice of the writing skills students have learned.

96 English II EOC Writing ■ Composition

Composition Skill 1Analyzing the Prompt

In the STAAR test, the composition prompt has three parts:

(1) A quotation meant to get you thinking about an important concept.

(2) A question or statement closely related to the quotation: this part of the prompt uses the phrase “Think carefully.” It acts as a bridge between the quotation and the writing assignment. In some cases, it may be the same as the writing assignment.

(3) A writing assignment: the assignment is the most important part of the prompt because you must directly respond to it. Your position statement and the ideas you develop in your essay will respond directly to the assignment.

All three parts of the prompt are important. The quotation and question or statement will help you think of ideas, and the assignment will tell you what to do. Therefore, it is important to analyze all parts of the prompt.

STAAR StrategyThe following composition prompt appeared on the 2015 STAAR test. Read the entire prompt and the callouts. Pay attention to the parts of the prompt: (1) the quotation, (2) the question or statement that relates to the quotation, and (3) the writing assignment.

WRITTEN COMPOSITION: Persuasive

Read the following quotation.

Idealistic people are those who pursue great ideas in the hope of changing the world. Because their plans are often quite ambitious, these people can have difficulty accomplishing smaller, concrete goals. In contrast, practical people concentrate on workable ideas and goals. Their approach is likely to lend itself to tangible solutions, even if these people fail to envision grand ideas.

–Winston Churchill

Is it better to think big ideas or work on smaller goals?

Think carefully about this question.

Write an essay stating your opinion on whether it’s better to dream big or to be realistic.

STAAR English II, 2015

(1) This is the quotation. It presents an interesting idea about the topic of big ideas and small goals. Underlining key phrases or ideas in the quote can help you unpack and understand it better.

(3) This assignment is asking you to write an essay in which you state your opinion about which is better: being idealistic or being realistic.

(2) This question is asking you to think about the differences between having big and interesting thoughts versus doing practical work that might not be exciting.

107 Composition ■ Practice

Prompt 1Composition

Practice

Brainstorm IdeasWrite down any thoughts and ideas you have in response to the prompt. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences. And don’t judge your ideas—yet. After you think of a few ideas, read through them and look for one that answers the prompt, makes an argument or claim, and is an idea you think you can develop into a full essay.


It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

—Niccolo Machiavelli

Think carefully about the following question.

Is it better for a leader to be feared or loved?

Write an essay stating your opinion on whether strong leadership is built on fear or love.

Be sure to —• clearly state your thesis• organize and develop your ideas effectively• choose your words carefully• edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling

How to Use This Book for STAAR Success

Step-by-step Guided Practice

7 editing and 7 revision passages

Prompts match STAAR format and themes

Skills cover what graders evaluate

86 questions match the released STAAR test in content and format

Pre- and post- writing activities provide step-by-step support

TEKS

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xii Student Progress Monitoring Chart

Student Progress Monitoring Chart—How Am I Doing?Use the Diagnostic Tests to identify skill lessons you need to review. Use the steps below to monitor your progress. Because some skill lessons cover a broad standard or are assessed in multiple ways, those lessons are referred to more than once in the chart. Boldfaced skill lessons are connected to Readiness TEKS .





2 Combining Sentences (p. 12) E2 .13C


4 Improving Transitions (p. 15) E2 .15A


6 Improving Clarity (p. 21) E2 .13C

Total / 6 Total / 6


1 Using Correct Capitalization (p. 53) E2 .18A

2 Using Commas Correctly (p. 55) E2 .18B



5 Using Apostrophes Correctly (p. 67) E2 .18B


7 Using Verbs Correctly (p. 57) E2 .17A

Total / 7 Total / 7

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Revision Skill 1Revising a Thesis or

Position StatementA controlling idea, also called a thesis or position statement, reflects an essay’s topic and the author’s main idea about it. On the STAAR test, you will be asked to revise a thesis or position statement. Typically you will be asked to choose the thesis statement that more strongly and clearly makes the author’s central claim or point. This may include choosing a statement that is more complete or more detailed.

STAAR StrategyThe excerpt and item below are from a previous STAAR test. They are based on an essay about social networking. Read the item and work through the steps that follow to learn how to answer questions like this one.

1 Read the first part of the item. You can see that you must choose a clearer, more accurate thesis statement as a revision for sentence 3.

(E2.15A, E2.16A)

(1) As access to the Internet has increased, more and more people have become daily participants in social networking. (2) In the past, people could separate their online persona from who they are in real life. (3) However, this is not the way things are now.

(4) Many teens use social networking as their primary form of public communication. (5) It’s easy to snap a photo, load it on a website, and type out a quick synopsis of where they are and what they’re doing. (6) Because the process is so simple and immediate, it can be tempting to post impulsively. (7) But is that behavior wise? (8) The photo a girl posts of a crazy stunt or that negative remark a boy posts about someone at school might not seem like a big deal now, but it could come back to haunt them later.

Which of the following could replace sentence 3 and better articulate the position Kayla is trying to take in this paper?

A However, in today’s world, where Internet activity is such a common occurrence, an online persona cannot be separated from real-life activities and views.

B However, in recent years the line between the two has blurred, making it more important than ever for people to be cognizant of how they present themselves online.

C Social networking, through such sites as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, is common today among teens, adults, and even the elderly.

D People could act and talk a certain way online, but in real life they may be totally different. STAAR English II, 2015, #1

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7 Revision Skill ■ Thesis

2 Re-read the passage and think about the main idea. Study the information in the passage to figure out what the controlling idea of the passage really is. What is the topic, and what is the main idea the author is trying to express about that topic?

The author wants us to think before we post on social media and consider how our posts can affect us in the future. A posted photo can influence hiring, for example, and sharing personal information can help thieves.

3 Read each answer choice. Then, re-read the thesis statement in sentence 3. Ask yourself which answer choice expresses the thesis best.

4 Cross out the answer choices that do not improve the thesis statement in sentence 3. Choose the answer that best states the author’s thesis or position.

A However, in today’s world, where Internet activity is such a common occurrence, an online persona cannot be separated from real-life activities and views.

B However, in recent years the line between the two has blurred, making it more important than ever for people to be cognizant of how they present themselves online.

C Social networking, through such sites as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, is common today among teens, adults, and even the elderly.

D People could act and talk a certain way online, but in real life they may be totally different.

Guided PracticeRead this excerpt from an essay about rainwater collection. Then answer the question using what you have learned about revising a thesis or position statement.

(1) Rainwater harvesting is the collection of rainwater for gardening and other uses. (2) I recently helped my aunt and uncle set up a rainwater collection system for watering her flower and vegetable gardens. (3) She told me that while our town’s water supply is safe to drink, it naturally contains salts and other minerals that can keep roots from growing. (4) What water is best for plants? (5) Rainwater! (6) It is a valuable resource that shouldn’t be wasted. (7) Using inexpensive hardware and recycling a large plastic barrel made this a low-cost project, too. (8) Now their garden will benefit, and they will use less water from the town.

Which sentence could best replace sentence 7 to better state the thesis?

A Don’t waste rainwater; collect it in a barrel instead.

B It is better for growing plants not to use the water that comes out of the tap or faucet, even though that is the easiest method.

C We should do what we can to reduce water use; conserving will lower the family water bill.

D Collecting the rain that falls on your roof and storing it provides an excellent water supply for growing plants and reduces the demand on your local water supply.

This stresses the need for caution, a key point of the thesis.

Compared to choice B, this is a less interesting and thoughtful choice.

This sentence makes a good insight, but it does not offer an argument.

This is a detail, not an argument.

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Think About Your Thinking

In the chart below, evaluate each answer choice based on what you have learned about revising thesis and position statements. One evaluation has been completed for you.

Answer Choices

EvaluationIs Answer Correct?

AThis is one point the author makes, but the statement does not include other important points that belong in the essay’s thesis statement.

no

B

C

D

Independent PracticeYou will have the opportunity to practice revising thesis statements in the Revision Practice section.

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When Barrett was asked to write about playing team sports, he chose to write about his six-man football team. Read Barrett’s paper and think about the ways he should revise it. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.






is not surprising. (5) Most teams, like Von Miller’s high school near Dallas, use eleven

players on the field. (6) However, small teams in rural areas don’t have all the coaches or

equipment that they need to play football correctly.

(7) Six-man football uses six players on a team. (8) The games are played on Friday

nights in small, rural communities found generally north of Interstate 10 and west of

Interstate 35—a large area about half the size of the state. (9) Each week during football

season, these communities, with names like Happy, Spur, and Eden, gather to cheer on

players that hope their talents will catch the eye of a college scout, or more modestly, will

take their teams to the district or state playoffs.

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37 Revision ■ Practice

(10) Six-man football was invented in 1932 by Stephen Epler, a high school coach

in Nebraska who wanted to create a game of football that high schools in small farming

communities could play. (11) By 1938, the University Interscholastic League of Texas,

an organization that encourages academic and athletic contests between high schools,

officially added six-man football to its list of competitions. (12) That year, fifty-five schools

in Texas participated. (13) The next year, the number doubled and soon reached a high

of 160 teams. (14) Over twice as many high schools played six-man football the very next

year. (15) As the state became more urban, some six-man teams from rural towns like

Oklaunion, Pecan Gap, and Flat disappeared, while the teams in once-rural Katy, Dripping

Springs, and Copperas Cove are now fielding large football team rosters.

(16) The rules of six-man football in Texas follow the NCAA rules with some exceptions.

(17) For example, the field is smaller—40 by 80 yards, instead of a regular 50- by 100-yard

field. (18) A first down is 15 yards, and all players on a team are eligible receivers, except

the passer. (19) The point system also is different. (20) A field goal is worth four points,

a kicked point after touchdown is worth two points, and a run/pass point after touchdown

scores one point. (21) Just like in regular football, the team with the most points at the end

of the game wins. (22) Therefore, if any team is ahead at halftime by 45 points, the game is

ended.

(23) No other state, besides California and Florida, sends as many high school players

up through the ranks to the NFL as Texas. (24) No other state has as many six-man football

teams, either. (25) The love of football in Texas is deep and strong, and in small towns like

Paint Rock, Fruitvale, and Loraine, Friday nights in the fall mean FOOTBALL, thanks to the

six-man football team.

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1 What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 4? (E2.15A)

A He was a product of a Texas high school football program.

B Von Miller gave credit to his high school football coach.

C “I did not learn in California or Florida, but Texas,” Miller might have said.

D Von has one idea, but people might have others, depending on who you ask.

2 Which of the following, if any, could replace sentence 6 to create a more effective controlling idea? (E2.15A)

F On the other hand, six-man football uses only six players for a game, so the chances of developing another Von Miller are slim.

G Significantly, unlike Von Miller’s experience, many teams from small towns in Texas play games with only six men, because the players all want to be Von Miller.

H However, in 138 small towns across Texas, younger NFL hopefuls, dreaming of becoming another Von Miller, play games known as six-man football.

J Sentence 6 is written correctly in the paper.

3 Which of these sentences could be added after sentence 7 to add more details and support the main idea in the paragraph? (E2.15A)




D Drive by any town in Texas on a Friday night, and the football stadium is filled with players and fans.

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39 Revision ■ Practice

4 The third paragraph (sentences 10–15) has a redundant sentence. Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph? (E2.13C)

F Sentence 11

G Sentence 12

H Sentence 13

J Sentence 14

5 What is the most effective revision to make to sentence 20 to make the sentence appropriate for audience and context? (E2.15A)

A A field goal is worth four points, whereas in regular football it is worth three points; a kicked point after touchdown is worth two points, although it is worth one point in regular games; and finally a run/pass point after touchdown scores one point, whereas in regular football, it scores two points.

B A field goal is worth four points, and the points after touchdowns are variable in number and different from regular football: for kicking, the teams get two points, but for passing or running the teams get one point.

C A field goal is worth four points and a point after touchdown is worth either two points or one point, depending on if the point after is kicked or run/passed into the end zone.

D A field goal is worth four points instead of three, a kicked point after touchdown is worth two points instead of one, and a run/pass point after touchdown scores one point instead of two.

6 Barrett has not used an appropriate transition in sentence 22. Which of these could best replace Therefore and create a more appropriate transition between sentences 21 and 22? (E2.15A)

F Consequently

G In addition

H However

J No change needs to be made in this sentence.

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55

Editing Skill 2

Editing Skill ■ Commas

Using Commas CorrectlyCommas are used to separate or set off parts of sentences. There are many rules for comma use. This lesson covers the rules most often tested by STAAR.

Commas and Independent ClausesUse a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet) to join two independent clauses.

Ray brought the bats and balls , and Caroline brought gloves and helmets.

However, do NOT use a comma with compound verbs.

Ray brought the bats but forgot the balls.

Skill CheckIn each sentence below, add a comma where needed to combine the two independent clauses and draw a box around the coordinating conjunction. If a sentence is correct, write “Correct” beside it.

1. Camilla ran the loop around the practice field and Cherice climbed up and down the stairs.

2. Both Dwayne and Donelle saw the mountain lion but Dwayne got a better view of it.

3. Take both ends and loop them around each other in a loose knot.

Commas with InterruptersUse commas to set off nonrestrictive phrases and clauses, and parenthetical expressions. Nonrestrictive and parenthetical elements are those that are not essential to the basic meaning of the sentence.

My brother Sam , who built a chicken coop , plays baseball.

The girl with the red shirt won a free trip to Hawaii.

The new bike paths , as expected , are getting a lot of use.

Also use commas to set off contrasting expressions.

The police , not the fire department , will investigate the incident.

(E2.18B)

Independent clauses have a subject and verb and tell a complete thought.

This is a nonrestrictive phrase, extra information that is not needed.

This phrase is not necessary, so it needs a comma before and after.

The commas set off extra information in the sentence.

This is a restrictive phrase. We need to know this information to make it clear which girl won the trip.

Using a comma with the word and joins the independent clauses.

These verbs have the same subject (Ray), so there is no comma before the conjunction word but.

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Skill CheckIn each sentence below, add commas where needed to set off nonrestrictive phrases and parenthetical expressions. Underline these phrases and expressions. If a sentence is correct, write “Correct” beside it.

4. The Cathedral of Junk three stories of random objects cemented together is an Austin tourist attraction.

5. The smoothies at Green Acres unlike the ones at Smooth Moves do not contain added sugar.

6. The singers who choose appropriate material and rehearse often are more likely to enjoy performing.

Commas with Introductory ElementsUse a comma after an introductory phrase or clause. Words such as after, although, as, because, before, if, since, though, unless, and while often signal introductory elements, and so do participles (words that often end in –ing).

Whenever Robert shook the bag of food , the dog barked.

Disappointed by the results , he didn’t stay to see the finishers.

Waiting for the bus , Jeremy sketched in his notebook.

Skill CheckIn each sentence below, add a comma where needed to set off the introductory phrase or clause that should be followed by a comma.

7. While we were making cupcakes Lisa and Manuel finished the signs.

8. Looking up from the screen Ramona gasped when she saw how late it was.

9. As tired as we were after the cleanup we still thought we had made the right decision.

Mixed PracticeCorrect each sentence by adding commas where they are needed. If a sentence uses commas correctly, write “Correct” beside it.

1. The team that collects the most trash will win movie tickets and a pizza dinner.

2. Whales and dolphins hear very well so it is not surprising that they communicate through sound.

3. It took only four days not the whole week for us to write the script and find a tent.

4. Listening to the band concert Cody realized he had always wanted to play the trumpet.

5. Terrence had crammed his duffel bag full but he hadn’t packed his shoes or socks yet.

6. The Great Barrier Reef the world’s largest coral reef system is experiencing widespread coral bleaching.

These introductory phrases add information to each sentence.

{

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Editing 1Editing Practice


When Carmen was asked to write about an animal native to Texas, she chose to write about prairie dogs. Read Carmen’s paper and think about the corrections she should make. When you finish reading, answer the questions that follow.

Texas Prairie Dogs

(1) Texas was once home to millions of prairie dogs. (2) Their communities sprawled

across the plains, especially in the western part of Texas, but numbers of prairie dogs have

plunged in the State.

(3) Prairie dogs are not actually dogs. (4) They are rodents, related to squirrels,

gophers, and rats. (5) Although they look like foot-long squirrels settlers named them

prairie dogs because of their doglike barks. (6) Like most other rodents, they eat plants,

including grasses, flowering plants, roots, and seeds.

(7) Prairie dog colonies are huge underground complexes of connected tunnels and

burrows with several entrances. (8) You can spot them because of the raised mound at

each entrance. (9) The colonies include different rooms for sleeping, caring for young, and

storing food. (10) Texas prairie dog communities, sometimes called towns, include hundreds

of prairie dogs and are highly organized. (11) They usually cover less than a square mile,

but one Texas prairie dog town covered 25,000 square miles. (12) Around four hundred

million prairie dogs may have lived in that town.

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(13) Although prairie dogs consume much of the vegetation in an area, they do make

positive contributions to their environments. (14) The rodents’ droppings fertilize the soil,

and they’re tunnels add air and keep the earth from packing down. (15) Rainwater runs into

the tunnels, where it adds to the ground water instead of caused erosion.

(16) One reason numbers of prairie dogs have plunged in Texas is that people hunt

them. (17) Ranchers and farmers kill them because the rodents eat crops and grasses. (18)

In addition, people hunt them for sport. (19) In the panhandle, hunters from near and far

pay guides to take them on prairie dog hunts.

(20) Hunters cannot take these alert animals by surprise, though. (21) Lookouts

who watch for predators, are stationed at the burrow entrances, and when a human

or predatory animal approaches their colony, these lookouts make warning calls. (22)

According to some researchers, prairie dogs can even describe the hunters to one another.

(23) Using different calls, they can tell the colony whether a human is tall, short, thin, or

broad. (24) They can also tell what color clothing the human is wearing, how fast he or she

are moving, and whether he or she has a gun.

(25) While some people are hunting prairie dogs, however, others are protecting

them. (26) Today, many prairie dogs live in protected colonies such as Prairie Dog Town in

Lubbock, Texas. (27) There, visitors can observe these fascinating animals up close as they

live, work, and communicate.

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73 Editing ■ Practice

1 What change, if any, should be made in sentence 2? (E2.18A)

A Change communities to comunities

B Change State to state

C Delete the comma after Texas

D No change should be made in this sentence.

2 What is the correct way to write sentence 5? (E2.17C)

F Although they look like foot-long squirrels. Settlers named them prairie dogs because of their doglike barks.

G Although they look like foot-long squirrels, settlers named them prairie dogs because of their doglike barks.

H Although they look like foot-long squirrels, settlers named them prairie dogs. Because of their doglike barks.

J Although they look like foot-long squirrels settlers named them prairie dogs because of their doglike barks.

3 What change needs to be made in sentence 14? (E2.18B)

A Change rodents’ to rodent’s

B Change they’re to their

C Change keep to keeping

D Insert a comma after tunnels

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tions

Sampler


4 What change needs to be made in sentence 15? (E2.17A)

F Delete the comma after tunnels

G Change tunnels to tunels

H Insert a comma after runs

J Change caused to causing

5 What change needs to be made in sentence 21? (E2.18B)

A Insert a comma after lookouts

B Change who to whom

C Change approaches to approachs

D Change make to makes

6 What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 24? (E2.13D)

F Change can also to could also

G Delete the comma after wearing

H Change are moving to is moving

J No change needs to be made in this sentence.

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ission


Sampler


Composition Skill 2Drafting the Position

StatementIn an essay, the position statement, or position, states the topic and the writer’s main idea about the topic. It should directly respond to the question or direction in the prompt. It should also clearly tell your reader your central belief, idea, or response in the essay. For the STAAR test, this means stating a position that can be supported and argued.

STAAR StrategyYour position statement should respond to the prompt directly and give an opinion that can be argued with reasons and examples. Read this prompt from the 2015 STAAR test.

Here is a working thesis for the prompt.

Idealistic people are better at pursuing big goals, while practical people are better at completing smaller tasks.

This position statement does stay on topic. However, there is no clear claim. The writer summarizes the quotation instead of stating an opinion in response to the prompt. Here is a revision of the position.

The ability to dream big is the most important quality a person needs to live a remarkable life and help others.

This position is more specific. It makes a claim, or argument, in response to the prompt.

WRITTEN COMPOSITION: Persuasive


Idealistic people are those who pursue great ideas in the hope of changing the world. Because their plans are often quite ambitious, these people can have difficulty accomplishing smaller, concrete goals. In contrast, practical people concentrate on workable ideas and goals. Their approach is likely to lend itself to tangible solutions, even if these people fail to envision grand ideas.

—Winston Churchill

Which approach is more valuable in life: an idealistic one or a practical one?

Think carefully about this question.

Write an essay stating your opinion on whether it’s better to dream big or to be realistic. STAAR English II, 2015

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Sampler

99 Composition Skill ■ Position Statement

The writer believes that dreaming big is more important than being realistic because big dreamers can help more people. The idea that idealism is the main ingredient in a remarkable life makes the position statement more complex.

It is good to think about your thesis as a working thesis and not the final thesis for the essay. As you plan and draft your composition, you may need to revise the thesis slightly to better fit your thoughts. It is much easier to revise your thesis to better fit your essay than to revise your whole essay to fit your thesis.

Guided PracticeRead this prompt.

Improving a Position Statement Now read each position statement below and think about how it could be improved to respond better to the prompt, be more detailed, or both.

Write a revised position on the lines below each position statement.

1. Position: It is often necessary to change, whether you like it or not.

2. Position: It is important to always be improving your life.

3. Position: Things change, but my favorite people stay the same.


To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.

—Winston Churchill

Some people fear change while some embrace it. Think carefully about this statement.

Write an essay stating your opinion on whether it’s best to change or to stay the same.

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Siri

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Solu

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Sampler


Composition Practice

Brainstorm IdeasWrite down any thoughts and ideas you have in response to the prompt. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences. And don’t judge your ideas—yet. After you think of a few ideas, read through them and look for one that answers the prompt, makes an argument or claim, and is an idea you think you can develop into a full essay.


Failure is another great stepping stone to greatness.

—Oprah Winfrey

Think carefully about the following question.

Can someone experience success without failure?

Write an essay explaining your opinion on the relationship between success and failure.

Be sure to —• clearly state your thesis• organize and develop your ideas effectively• choose your words carefully• edit your writing for grammar, mechanics, and spelling

Prompt 2U

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oto

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Sirius Education Solutions

Sampler

111 Composition ■ Practice

Organizing Your Ideas and Examples Use this chart to organize and develop ideas and examples for your essay.

Thesis: Paragraph 1

INTRODUCTION

Controlling Idea: Paragraph 2

Example:

Explanation:

BODY

TRANSITION

Controlling Idea: Paragraph 3 (optional)

Example:

Explanation:

BODY

TRANSITION

Controlling Idea: Paragraph 4 (optional)

Example:

Explanation:

BODY

Restate Thesis: Final Paragraph

CONCLUSION

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Siri

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Solu

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Sampler


Write your essay in the box below. Do not add lines inside the box or write outside the box.

Check to make sure your essay has a clear thesis statement in each body paragraph, a controlling idea that supports the thesis in each body paragraph, examples and evidence supporting the paragraph’s controlling idea transitions between your ideas a concluding paragraph or thought

Sampler

7

Rev

isio

n S

kil

l ■

Thes

is

2 R

e-re

ad t

he

pas

sag

e an

d t

hin

k ab

ou

t th

e m

ain

idea

. Stu

dy

the

info

rmat

ion

in t

he

pas

sag

e to

fig

ure

ou

t w

hat

th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

of

the

pas

sag

e re

ally

is. W

hat

is t

he

top

ic, a

nd

wh

at is

th

e m

ain

idea

th

e au

tho

r is

try

ing

to

exp

ress

ab

ou

t th

at t

op

ic?

The

auth

or w

ants

us

to t

hink

bef

ore

we

post

on

social m

edia a

nd c

onsid

er h

ow

our

post

s ca

n af

fect

us

in t

he f

utur

e. A

pos

ted

phot

o ca

n influe

nce

hiring

, for

ex

ample, a

nd s

haring

per

sona

l inf

ormat

ion

can

help t

hiev

es.

3 R

ead

eac

h a

nsw

er c

ho

ice.

Th

en, r

e-re

ad t

he

thes

is s

tate

men

t in

sen

ten

ce 3

. Ask

yo

urs

elf

wh

ich

an

swer

ch

oic

e ex

pre

sses

th

e th

esis

bes

t.

4 C

ross

ou

t th

e an

swer

ch

oic

es t

hat

do

no

t im

pro

ve t

he

thes

is s

tate

men

t in

sen

ten

ce

3. C

ho

ose

th

e an

swer

th

at b

est

stat

es t

he

auth

or’

s th

esis

or

po

siti

on

.

A

How

ever

, in

tod

ay’s

wor

ld,

whe

re I

nter

net

activ

ity

is

such

a c

omm

on o

ccur

renc

e, a

n on

line

pers

ona

cann

ot b

e se

para

ted

from

rea

l-lif

e ac

tiviti

es a

nd v

iew

s.

B

How

ever

, in

rec

ent

year

s th

e lin

e be

twee

n th

e tw

o ha

s bl

urre

d, m

akin

g it

mor

e im

port

ant

than

eve

r fo

r pe

ople

to

be c

ogni

zant

of ho

w t

hey

pres

ent

them

selv

es o

nlin

e.

C

Soc

ial n

etw

orki

ng,

thro

ugh

such

site

s as

Fac

eboo

k,

Twitte

r, a

nd I

nsta

gram

, is

com

mon

tod

ay a

mon

g te

ens,

ad

ults

, an

d ev

en t

he e

lder

ly.

D

Peop

le c

ould

act

and

tal

k a

cert

ain

way

onl

ine,

but

in r

eal

life

they

may

be

tota

lly d

iffer

ent.

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

eR

ead

th

is e

xcer

pt

fro

m a

n e

ssay

ab

ou

t ra

inw

ater

co

llect

ion

. Th

en a

nsw

er t

he

qu

esti

on

u

sin

g w

hat

yo

u h

ave

lear

ned

ab

ou

t re

visi

ng

a t

hes

is o

r p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t.

(1)

Rai

nwat

er h

arve

stin

g is

the

col

lect

ion

of r

ainw

ater

for

gar

deni

ng a

nd o

ther

us

es.

(2)

I re

cent

ly h

elpe

d m

y au

nt a

nd u

ncle

set

up

a ra

inw

ater

col

lect

ion

syst

em f

or

wat

erin

g he

r flo

wer

and

veg

etab

le g

arde

ns.

(3)

She

tol

d m

e th

at w

hile

our

tow

n’s

wat

er

supp

ly is

saf

e to

dri

nk,

it na

tura

lly c

onta

ins

salts

and

othe

r m

iner

als

that

can

kee

p ro

ots

from

gro

win

g. (

4) W

hat

wat

er is

bes

t fo

r pl

ants

? (5

) R

ainw

ater

! (6

) It

is a

val

uabl

e re

sour

ce t

hat

shou

ldn’

t be

was

ted.

(7)

Usi

ng in

expe

nsiv

e ha

rdw

are

and

recy

clin

g a

larg

e pl

astic

bar

rel m

ade

this

a lo

w-c

ost

proj

ect,

too

. (8

) N

ow t

heir g

arde

n w

ill b

enef

it,

and

they

will

use

less

wat

er f

rom

the

tow

n.

Whi

ch s

ente

nce

coul

d be

st r

epla

ce s

ente

nce

7 to

bet

ter

stat

e th

e th

esis

?

A

Don

’t w

aste

rai

nwat

er;

colle

ct it

in a

bar

rel i

nste

ad.

B

It is

bet

ter

for

grow

ing

plan

ts n

ot t

o us

e th

e w

ater

tha

t co

mes

out

of th

e ta

p or

fa

ucet

, ev

en t

houg

h th

at is

the

eas

iest

met

hod.

C

We

shou

ld d

o w

hat

we

can

to r

educ

e w

ater

use

; co

nser

ving

will

low

er t

he f

amily

w

ater

bill

.

D

Col

lect

ing

the

rain

tha

t fa

lls o

n yo

ur r

oof an

d st

orin

g it

prov

ides

an

exce

llent

wat

er

supp

ly f

or g

row

ing

plan

ts a

nd r

educ

es t

he d

eman

d on

you

r lo

cal w

ater

sup

ply.

This

stre

sses

the

need

for c

autio

n,

a ke

y po

int o

f the

th

esis.

Com

pare

d to

cho

ice

B, th

is is

a le

ss

inte

rest

ing

and

thou

ghtfu

l cho

ice.

This

sent

ence

m

akes

a

good

in

sight

, but

it

does

not

of

fer a

n ar

gum

ent.

This

is a

deta

il,

not a

n ar

gum

ent.

6E

ng

lish

II

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

Rev

isio

n Sk

ill 1

Revis

ing a

Thesi

s or

P

osi

tion S

tate

ment

A c

on

tro

llin

g id

ea, a

lso

cal

led

a t

hes

is o

r p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t, r

eflec

ts a

n e

ssay

’s t

op

ic

and

th

e au

tho

r’s

mai

n id

ea a

bo

ut

it. O

n t

he

STA

AR

tes

t, y

ou

will

be

aske

d t

o r

evis

e a

thes

is o

r p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t. T

ypic

ally

yo

u w

ill b

e as

ked

to

ch

oo

se t

he

thes

is s

tate

men

t th

at m

ore

str

on

gly

an

d c

lear

ly m

akes

th

e au

tho

r’s

cen

tral

cla

im o

r p

oin

t. T

his

may

in

clu

de

cho

osi

ng

a s

tate

men

t th

at is

mo

re c

om

ple

te o

r m

ore

det

aile

d.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

The

exce

rpt

and

item

bel

ow

are

fro

m a

pre

vio

us

STA

AR

tes

t. T

hey

are

bas

ed o

n a

n

essa

y ab

ou

t so

cial

net

wo

rkin

g. R

ead

th

e it

em a

nd

wo

rk t

hro

ug

h t

he

step

s th

at f

ollo

w

to le

arn

ho

w t

o a

nsw

er q

ues

tio

ns

like

this

on

e.

1 R

ead

th

e fi

rst

par

t o

f th

e it

em. Y

ou

can

see

th

at y

ou

mu

st c

ho

ose

a c

lear

er, m

ore

ac

cura

te t

hes

is s

tate

men

t as

a r

evis

ion

fo

r se

nte

nce

3.

(E2.

15A

, E2.

16A)

(1)

As

acce

ss t

o th

e In

tern

et h

as in

crea

sed,

mor

e an

d m

ore

peop

le h

ave

beco

me

daily

par

ticip

ants

in s

ocia

l net

wor

king

. (2

) In

the

pas

t, p

eopl

e co

uld

sepa

rate

the

ir

onlin

e pe

rson

a fr

om w

ho t

hey

are

in r

eal l

ife.

(3)

How

ever

, th

is is

not

the

way

thi

ngs

are

now

.

(4)

Man

y te

ens

use

soci

al n

etw

orki

ng a

s th

eir

prim

ary

form

of pu

blic

co

mm

unic

atio

n. (

5) I

t’s

easy

to

snap

a p

hoto

, lo

ad it

on

a w

ebsi

te,

and

type

out

a

quic

k sy

nops

is o

f w

here

the

y ar

e an

d w

hat

they

’re

doin

g. (

6) B

ecau

se t

he p

roce

ss is

so

sim

ple

and

imm

edia

te,

it ca

n be

tem

ptin

g to

pos

t im

puls

ivel

y. (

7) B

ut is

tha

t be

havi

or

wis

e? (

8) T

he p

hoto

a g

irl p

osts

of a

craz

y st

unt

or t

hat

nega

tive

rem

ark

a bo

y po

sts

abou

t so

meo

ne a

t sc

hool

mig

ht n

ot s

eem

like

a b

ig d

eal n

ow,

but

it co

uld

com

e ba

ck t

o ha

unt

them

late

r.

Whi

ch o

f th

e fo

llow

ing

coul

d re

plac

e se

nten

ce 3

and

bet

ter

artic

ulat

e th

e po

sitio

n Kay

la

is t

ryin

g to

tak

e in

thi

s pa

per?

A

How

ever

, in

tod

ay’s

wor

ld,

whe

re I

nter

net

activ

ity

is s

uch

a co

mm

on o

ccur

renc

e, a

n on

line

pers

ona

cann

ot b

e se

para

ted

from

rea

l-lif

e ac

tiviti

es a

nd v

iew

s.

B

How

ever

, in

rec

ent

year

s th

e lin

e be

twee

n th

e tw

o ha

s bl

urre

d, m

akin

g it

mor

e im

port

ant

than

eve

r fo

r pe

ople

to

be c

ogni

zant

of ho

w t

hey

pres

ent

them

selv

es

onlin

e.

C

Soc

ial n

etw

orki

ng,

thro

ugh

such

site

s as

Fac

eboo

k, T

witte

r, a

nd I

nsta

gram

, is

co

mm

on t

oday

am

ong

teen

s, a

dults,

and

eve

n th

e el

derl

y.

D

Peop

le c

ould

act

and

tal

k a

cert

ain

way

onl

ine,

but

in r

eal l

ife t

hey

may

be

tota

lly

diff

eren

t.

ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

II, 2

015,

#1

© Sirius Education Solutions Revision Skill ■ Thesis 6–7

Teacher’s Edition Sampler

9

Rev

isio

n Sk

ill 2

Rev

isio

n S

kil

l ■

Ad

din

g D

etai

ls

Addin

g S

upport

ing

Deta

ils

Som

e it

ems

on

th

e ST

AA

R t

est

will

ask

yo

u t

o r

evis

e an

ess

ay b

y ad

din

g s

up

po

rtin

g

det

ails

to

str

eng

then

an

idea

or

par

agra

ph

. Su

pp

ort

ing

det

ails

mig

ht

be

add

itio

nal

fa

cts,

exa

mp

les,

exp

ert

op

inio

ns,

or

qu

ota

tio

ns.

Yo

u w

ill h

ave

to a

nal

yze

det

ails

to

d

raw

val

id in

fere

nce

s th

at s

ho

w h

ow

th

e d

etai

ls c

on

nec

t to

th

e id

eas

in t

he

par

agra

ph

.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

The

exce

rpt

and

item

bel

ow

are

fro

m a

pre

vio

us

STA

AR

tes

t. H

ere

are

step

s yo

u c

an

take

fo

r re

spo

nd

ing

to

item

s th

at a

sk y

ou

to

an

alyz

e an

d a

dd

su

pp

ort

ing

det

ails

.

1 R

ead

th

e p

arag

rap

h a

nd

item

bel

ow

. Th

e p

arag

rap

h is

fro

m a

n e

ssay

urg

ing

ca

uti

on

in p

ost

ing

to

so

cial

med

ia.

2 R

ead

eac

h a

nsw

er c

ho

ice.

Th

en, r

e-re

ad t

he

par

agra

ph

wit

h t

he

targ

et s

ente

nce

. A

sk y

ou

rsel

f w

hic

h a

nsw

er b

est

sup

po

rts

the

idea

exp

ress

ed in

th

e ta

rget

sen

ten

ce.

(E2.

15A

, E2.

16A

, E2.

16E)

(13)

Be

care

ful g

ivin

g ou

t in

form

atio

n to

o. (

14)

In 2

010

an I

ndia

na c

oupl

e po

sted

that

the

y w

ould

be

out

for

the

even

ing,

and

the

ir h

ome

was

bur

glar

ized

whi

le t

hey

wer

e aw

ay.

(15)

An

inve

stig

atio

n re

veal

ed t

hat

the

burg

lar

was

an

old

acqu

aint

ance

from

who

m t

he w

oman

had

rec

ently

acc

epte

d a

frie

nd r

eque

st.

(16)

It’s

impo

rtan

t fo

r

peop

le t

o re

mem

ber

that

whe

n th

ey le

t th

e so

cial

-net

wor

king

wor

ld k

now

whe

re t

hey

are,

the

y m

ay a

lso

be le

ttin

g th

ousa

nds

of p

eopl

e kn

ow w

here

the

y’re

not

.

Kay

la w

ants

to

add

a qu

otat

ion

that

will

hel

p su

ppor

t th

e id

ea p

rese

nted

in s

ente

nce

16.

Ana

lyze

the

quo

tatio

ns b

elow

. W

hich

of th

ese

wou

ld b

e th

e m

ost

effe

ctiv

e to

inse

rt

afte

r se

nten

ce 1

6?

A

One

sta

te o

ffici

al n

oted

, “I

t’s

the

sam

e as

giv

ing

the

key

to y

our

hous

e to

a

burg

lar.”

B

The

foun

der

of F

aceb

ook

once

sai

d, “

Whe

n yo

u gi

ve e

very

one

a vo

ice

and

give

pe

ople

pow

er,

the

syst

em u

sual

ly e

nds

up in

a r

eally

goo

d pl

ace.

”

C

“Our

hea

d of

soc

ial m

edia

is t

he c

usto

mer

,” s

aid

a sp

okes

pers

on f

or o

ne w

ell-

know

n co

mpa

ny.

D

“We’

re a

ll so

cial

cre

atur

es,”

one

mag

azin

e st

ates

. ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

II, 2

015,

#5

8E

ng

lish

II

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

Thin

k A

bo

ut

You

r Th

inki

ng

In t

he

char

t b

elo

w, e

valu

ate

each

an

swer

ch

oic

e b

ased

on

wh

at y

ou

hav

e le

arn

ed

abo

ut

revi

sin

g t

hes

is a

nd

po

siti

on

sta

tem

ents

. On

e ev

alu

atio

n h

as b

een

co

mp

lete

d f

or

you

.

An

swer

C

ho

ices

Eval

uat

ion

Is A

nsw

er

Co

rrec

t?

ATh

is is

one

point

the

auth

or m

akes

, but

the

sta

temen

t do

es n

ot

includ

e ot

her

impo

rtan

t po

ints

tha

t be

long

in t

he e

ssay

’s th

esis

stat

emen

t.no

B C D

Ind

ep

en

den

t Pra

ctic

eYo

u w

ill h

ave

the

op

po

rtu

nit

y to

pra

ctic

e re

visi

ng

th

esis

sta

tem

ents

in t

he

Rev

isio

n

Prac

tice

sec

tio

n.

The

first

part

of th

e se

nten

ce is

an

impo

rtant

claim

mad

e by

th

e au

thor

, but

as a

thes

is sta

tem

ent i

t is i

ncom

plet

e. no

This

state

men

t doe

sn’t

includ

e all

the

main

poin

ts th

e au

thor

mak

es a

bout

rainw

ater

colle

ctio

n an

d w

hy it

is g

ood

for p

lants.

no

This

answ

er m

ost c

learly

and

com

plet

ely su

mm

arize

s the

m

ain p

oints

in th

e es

say.

yes

English II EOC Writing ■ Revision © Sirius Education Solutions8–9


37

Rev

isio

n ■

Pra

ctic

e

(10)

Six

-man

foo

tbal

l was

inve

nted

in 1

932

by S

teph

en E

pler

, a

high

sch

ool c

oach

in N

ebra

ska

who

wan

ted

to c

reat

e a

gam

e of

foo

tbal

l tha

t hi

gh s

choo

ls in

sm

all f

arm

ing

com

mun

ities

cou

ld p

lay.

(11

) By

1938

, th

e U

nive

rsity

Inte

rsch

olas

tic L

eagu

e of

Tex

as,

an o

rgan

izat

ion

that

enc

oura

ges

acad

emic

and

ath

letic

con

test

s be

twee

n hi

gh s

choo

ls,

offic

ially

add

ed s

ix-m

an f

ootb

all t

o its

list

of c

ompe

titio

ns.

(12)

Tha

t ye

ar,

fifty

-fiv

e sc

hool

s

in T

exas

par

ticip

ated

. (1

3) T

he n

ext

year

, th

e nu

mbe

r do

uble

d an

d so

on r

each

ed a

hig

h

of 1

60 t

eam

s. (

14)

Ove

r tw

ice

as m

any

high

sch

ools

pla

yed

six-

man

foo

tbal

l the

ver

y ne

xt

year

. (1

5) A

s th

e st

ate

beca

me

mor

e ur

ban,

som

e si

x-m

an t

eam

s fr

om r

ural

tow

ns li

ke

Okl

auni

on,

Peca

n G

ap,

and

Flat

dis

appe

ared

, w

hile

the

tea

ms

in o

nce-

rura

l Kat

y, D

ripp

ing

Spr

ings

, an

d C

oppe

ras

Cov

e ar

e no

w f

ield

ing

larg

e fo

otba

ll te

am r

oste

rs.

(16)

The

rul

es o

f si

x-m

an f

ootb

all i

n Te

xas

follo

w t

he N

CA

A r

ules

with

som

e ex

cept

ions

.

(17)

For

exa

mpl

e, t

he f

ield

is s

mal

ler—

40 b

y 80

yar

ds,

inst

ead

of a

reg

ular

50-

by

100-

yard

field

. (1

8) A

fir

st d

own

is 1

5 ya

rds,

and

all

play

ers

on a

tea

m a

re e

ligib

le r

ecei

vers

, ex

cept

the

pass

er.

(19)

The

poi

nt s

yste

m a

lso

is d

iffer

ent.

(20

) A f

ield

goa

l is

wor

th f

our

poin

ts,

a ki

cked

poi

nt a

fter

tou

chdo

wn

is w

orth

tw

o po

ints

, an

d a

run/

pass

poi

nt a

fter

tou

chdo

wn

scor

es o

ne p

oint

. (2

1) J

ust

like

in r

egul

ar f

ootb

all,

the

team

with

the

mos

t po

ints

at

the

end

of t

he g

ame

win

s. (

22)

Ther

efor

e, if

any

tea

m is

ahe

ad a

t ha

lftim

e by

45

poin

ts,

the

gam

e is

ende

d.

(23)

No

othe

r st

ate,

bes

ides

Cal

iforn

ia a

nd F

lori

da,

send

s as

man

y hi

gh s

choo

l pla

yers

up t

hrou

gh t

he r

anks

to

the

NFL

as

Texa

s. (

24)

No

othe

r st

ate

has

as m

any

six-

man

foo

tbal

l

team

s, e

ither

. (2

5) T

he lo

ve o

f fo

otba

ll in

Tex

as is

dee

p an

d st

rong

, an

d in

sm

all t

owns

like

Pain

t Roc

k, F

ruitva

le,

and

Lora

ine,

Fri

day

nigh

ts in

the

fal

l mea

n FO

OTB

ALL

, th

anks

to

the

six-

man

foo

tbal

l tea

m.

36E

ng

lish

II

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

Rev

isio

n P

ract

ice

Revis

ion 4

Rea

d t

he

sele

ctio

n a

nd

ch

oo

se t

he

bes

t an

swer

to

each

qu

esti

on

.

Whe

n Bar

rett

was

ask

ed t

o w

rite

abo

ut p

layi

ng t

eam

spo

rts,

he

chos

e to

wri

te a

bout

his

six

-m

an f

ootb

all t

eam

. Rea

d Bar

rett

’s p

aper

and

thi

nk a

bout

the

way

s he

sho

uld

revi

se it

. W

hen

you

finis

h re

adin

g, a

nsw

er t

he q

uest

ions

tha

t fo

llow

.

Six

-Man

Foo

tbal

l in

Tex

as

(1)

At t

he e

nd o

f Sup

er B

owl 5

0, V

on M

iller

—a

defe

nsiv

e lin

ebac

ker

play

ing

for

the

cham

pion

Den

ver

Bro

ncos

—w

on t

he M

ost

Valu

able

Pla

yer

Awar

d. (

2) H

e w

as s

elec

ted

beca

use

of h

is f

ierc

e an

d un

rele

ntin

g ef

fort

s th

at a

lmos

t si

ngle

hand

edly

sav

ed t

he g

ame

for

the

Bro

ncos

. (3

) W

here

did

Von

Mill

er f

irst

lear

n to

pla

y fo

otba

ll lik

e th

at?

(4)

The

answ

er

is n

ot s

urpr

isin

g. (

5) M

ost

team

s, li

ke V

on M

iller

’s h

igh

scho

ol n

ear

Dal

las,

use

ele

ven

play

ers

on t

he f

ield

. (6

) H

owev

er,

smal

l tea

ms

in r

ural

are

as d

on’t h

ave

all t

he c

oach

es o

r

equi

pmen

t th

at t

hey

need

to

play

foo

tbal

l cor

rect

ly.

(7)

Six

-man

foo

tbal

l use

s si

x pl

ayer

s on

a t

eam

. (8

) Th

e ga

mes

are

pla

yed

on F

rida

y

nigh

ts in

sm

all,

rura

l com

mun

ities

fou

nd g

ener

ally

nor

th o

f In

ters

tate

10

and

wes

t of

Inte

rsta

te 3

5—a

larg

e ar

ea a

bout

hal

f th

e si

ze o

f th

e st

ate.

(9)

Eac

h w

eek

duri

ng f

ootb

all

seas

on,

thes

e co

mm

uniti

es,

with

nam

es li

ke H

appy

, Spu

r, a

nd E

den,

gat

her

to c

heer

on

play

ers

that

hop

e th

eir

tale

nts

will

cat

ch t

he e

ye o

f a

colle

ge s

cout

, or

mor

e m

odes

tly,

will

take

the

ir t

eam

s to

the

dis

tric

t or

sta

te p

layo

ffs.

Revision ■ Practice© Sirius Education Solutions 36–37


38

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ R

evis

ion

1

Wha

t is

the

mos

t ef

fect

ive

revi

sion

to

mak

e in

sen

tenc

e 4?

(E2.15

A)

A

He

was

a p

rodu

ct o

f a

Texa

s hi

gh s

choo

l foo

tbal

l pro

gram

.

B

Von

Mill

er g

ave

cred

it to

his

hig

h sc

hool

foo

tbal

l coa

ch.

C

“I

did

not

lear

n in

Cal

iforn

ia o

r Fl

orid

a, b

ut T

exas

,” M

iller

mig

ht h

ave

said

.

D

Von

has

one

idea

, bu

t pe

ople

mig

ht h

ave

othe

rs,

depe

ndin

g on

who

you

ask

.

2

Whi

ch o

f th

e fo

llow

ing,

if a

ny,

coul

d re

plac

e se

nten

ce 6

to

crea

te a

mor

e ef

fect

ive

cont

rolli

ng id

ea?

(E2.15

A)

F O

n th

e ot

her

hand

, si

x-m

an f

ootb

all u

ses

only

six

pla

yers

for

a g

ame,

so

the

chan

ces

of

deve

lopi

ng a

noth

er V

on M

iller

are

slim

.

G

Sig

nific

antly

, un

like

Von

Mill

er’s

exp

erie

nce,

man

y te

ams

from

sm

all t

owns

in T

exas

pla

y ga

mes

with

onl

y si

x m

en,

beca

use

the

play

ers

all w

ant

to b

e Vo

n M

iller

.

H

How

ever

, in

138

sm

all t

owns

acr

oss

Texa

s, y

oung

er N

FL h

opef

uls,

dre

amin

g of

be

com

ing

anot

her

Von

Mill

er,

play

gam

es k

now

n as

six

-man

foo

tbal

l.

J Sen

tenc

e 6

is w

ritt

en c

orre

ctly

in t

he p

aper

.

3

Whi

ch o

f th

ese

sent

ence

s co

uld

be a

dded

aft

er s

ente

nce

7 to

add

mor

e de

tails

and

sup

port

th

e m

ain

idea

in t

he p

arag

raph

?

(E2.15

A)

A

In v

ery

smal

l sch

ools

, a

foot

ball

play

er c

ould

als

o be

a b

and

mem

ber

and

perf

orm

at

half

time.

B

Sch

ools

mus

t ha

ve s

ix p

laye

rs t

o st

art

the

gam

e, a

lthou

gh t

he g

ame

can

go o

n w

ith

only

fou

r or

fiv

e pl

ayer

s on

a s

ide.

C

Now

larg

er h

igh

scho

ols

and

colle

ges

are

usin

g th

e se

ven-

on-s

even

pra

ctic

e ar

rang

emen

t, p

roba

bly

base

d on

six

-man

foo

tbal

l.

D

Dri

ve b

y an

y to

wn

in T

exas

on

a Fr

iday

nig

ht,

and

the

foot

ball

stad

ium

is f

illed

with

pl

ayer

s an

d fa

ns.

English II EOC Writing ■ Revision © Sirius Education Solutions

An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

1

A C

orre

ct. D

irect

ly a

nsw

erin

g a

rhet

oric

al q

uest

ion

is t

he c

lear

est

and

best

cho

ice.

B

Foc

usin

g on

Mill

er in

stea

d of

dire

ctly

ans

wer

ing

the

ques

tion

is

conf

usin

g an

d do

es n

ot fl

ow a

s w

ell a

s ot

her

answ

er c

hoic

es d

o.

C T

here

is n

o re

ason

to

incl

ude

a hy

poth

etic

al q

uote

to

answ

er t

he

ques

tion.

D

Thi

s se

nten

ce g

ives

no

clea

r an

swer

and

doe

s no

t he

lp f

ocus

the

pa

ragr

aph

or id

ea.

2

F Th

is s

ente

nce

prov

ides

a c

ontr

ast

to t

he p

rece

ding

sen

tenc

e bu

t do

es n

ot s

et a

larg

er t

hesi

s fo

r th

e pa

ragr

aph

and

text

. The

foc

us

of t

he s

ente

nce

is in

corr

ect.

G T

his

sent

ence

pro

vide

s a

cont

rast

to

Von

Mill

er’s

larg

e hi

gh

scho

ol, b

ut t

he f

ocus

is o

n th

e pl

ayer

s be

com

ing

anot

her

Von

Mill

er, r

athe

r th

an o

n a

larg

er t

hesi

s fo

r th

e te

xt.

H

Cor

rect

. The

sen

tenc

e pr

ovid

es a

con

tras

t to

Von

Mill

er’s

larg

e hi

gh s

choo

l and

intr

oduc

es t

he t

opic

tha

t th

e te

xt w

ill e

xplo

re—

six-

man

foo

tbal

l.

J Se

nten

ce 6

con

tain

s in

form

atio

n th

at is

off

top

ic a

nd n

egat

ive,

an

d it

does

n’t

men

tion

six-

man

foo

tbal

l.

3

A T

his

sent

ence

may

be

true

, but

it is

off

top

ic a

nd d

istr

actin

g an

d do

esn’

t le

ad in

to t

he r

est

of t

he p

arag

raph

.

B C

orre

ct. T

he s

ente

nce

adds

info

rmat

ion

dire

ctly

rel

ated

to

the

num

ber

of p

laye

rs a

nd t

he n

ame

of t

he g

ame.

C T

his

sent

ence

use

s an

irre

leva

nt e

xam

ple

that

has

litt

le t

o do

with

th

e to

pic

of s

ix-m

an f

ootb

all.

D

Thi

s se

nten

ce is

a g

ener

al s

tate

men

t an

d do

esn’

t m

entio

n th

e ty

pe o

f fo

otba

ll. T

he p

arag

raph

is a

bout

sm

all t

owns

and

hig

h sc

hool

s in

Tex

as t

hat

wan

t th

e ch

ance

to

see

and

play

foo

tbal

l ga

mes

.

38


39

Rev

isio

n ■

Pra

ctic

e

4

The

thir

d pa

ragr

aph

(sen

tenc

es 1

0–15

) ha

s a

redu

ndan

t se

nten

ce.

Whi

ch s

ente

nce

shou

ld

be d

elet

ed f

rom

thi

s pa

ragr

aph?

(E2.13

C)

F Sen

tenc

e 11

G

Sen

tenc

e 12

H

Sen

tenc

e 13

J Sen

tenc

e 14

5

Wha

t is

the

mos

t ef

fect

ive

revi

sion

to

mak

e to

sen

tenc

e 20

to

mak

e th

e se

nten

ce

appr

opri

ate

for

audi

ence

and

con

text

?

(E2.15

A)

A

A f

ield

goa

l is

wor

th f

our

poin

ts,

whe

reas

in r

egul

ar f

ootb

all i

t is

wor

th t

hree

poi

nts;

a

kick

ed p

oint

aft

er t

ouch

dow

n is

wor

th t

wo

poin

ts,

alth

ough

it is

wor

th o

ne p

oint

in

regu

lar

gam

es;

and

final

ly a

run

/pas

s po

int

afte

r to

uchd

own

scor

es o

ne p

oint

, w

here

as

in r

egul

ar f

ootb

all,

it sc

ores

tw

o po

ints

.

B

A f

ield

goa

l is

wor

th f

our

poin

ts,

and

the

poin

ts a

fter

tou

chdo

wns

are

var

iabl

e in

nu

mbe

r an

d di

ffer

ent

from

reg

ular

foo

tbal

l: f

or k

icki

ng,

the

team

s ge

t tw

o po

ints

, bu

t fo

r pa

ssin

g or

run

ning

the

tea

ms

get

one

poin

t.

C

A f

ield

goa

l is

wor

th f

our

poin

ts a

nd a

poi

nt a

fter

tou

chdo

wn

is w

orth

eith

er t

wo

poin

ts

or o

ne p

oint

, de

pend

ing

on if

the

poi

nt a

fter

is k

icke

d or

run

/pas

sed

into

the

end

zon

e.

D

A f

ield

goa

l is

wor

th f

our

poin

ts in

stea

d of

thr

ee,

a ki

cked

poi

nt a

fter

tou

chdo

wn

is

wor

th t

wo

poin

ts in

stea

d of

one

, an

d a

run/

pass

poi

nt a

fter

tou

chdo

wn

scor

es o

ne

poin

t in

stea

d of

tw

o.

6

Bar

rett

has

not

use

d an

app

ropr

iate

tra

nsiti

on in

sen

tenc

e 22

. W

hich

of th

ese

coul

d

best

rep

lace

Th

eref

ore

and

cre

ate

a m

ore

appr

opri

ate

tran

sitio

n be

twee

n se

nten

ces

21

and

22?

(E2.15

A)

F C

onse

quen

tly

G

In a

dditi

on

H

How

ever

J N

o ch

ange

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

thi

s se

nten

ce.

Revision ■ Practice© Sirius Education Solutions

An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

4

F Se

nten

ce 1

1 gi

ves

info

rmat

ion

abou

t th

e U

IL t

hat

is n

ot r

epea

ted

in a

noth

er s

ente

nce.

G

Sen

tenc

e 12

exp

lain

s ho

w m

any

stud

ents

par

ticip

ated

in 1

938.

H

Cor

rect

. Sen

tenc

e 13

say

s th

e sa

me

thin

g as

sen

tenc

e 14

but

is

conf

usin

g an

d un

clea

r.

J Se

nten

ce 1

4 co

ntai

ns in

form

atio

n gi

ven

in s

ente

nce

13, b

ut it

is

clea

rer

and

mor

e ef

fect

ive.

5

A T

his

sent

ence

is t

oo lo

ng a

nd r

ambl

ing

and

uses

con

stru

ctio

ns

that

are

not

par

alle

l.

B T

his

sent

ence

add

s im

port

ant

info

rmat

ion,

but

the

tw

o ha

lves

of

the

sen

tenc

e ar

e no

t eq

ual i

n ei

ther

con

stru

ctio

n or

com

plet

e in

form

atio

n.

C

Thi

s se

nten

ce is

con

cise

, but

its

info

rmat

ion

is n

ot c

ompl

ete,

so

a re

ader

unf

amili

ar w

ith t

he f

ootb

all p

oint

sys

tem

wou

ld n

ot h

ave

a po

int

of c

ompa

rison

.

D C

orre

ct. T

he s

ente

nce

adds

info

rmat

ion

com

parin

g si

x-m

an

foot

ball

and

regu

lar

foot

ball.

The

res

ultin

g se

nten

ce is

con

cise

an

d in

form

ativ

e fo

r a

read

ersh

ip t

hat

may

not

kno

w t

he s

corin

g of

reg

ular

foo

tbal

l.

6

F Th

e tr

ansi

tion consequently

sho

ws

that

one

sen

tenc

e fo

llow

s lo

gica

lly f

rom

the

pre

cedi

ng s

ente

nce.

Sen

tenc

es 2

0 an

d 21

are

no

t ca

use

and

effe

ct.

G

Cor

rect

. Sen

tenc

e 21

is a

ddin

g in

form

atio

n ab

out

the

type

and

nu

mbe

r of

poi

nts

that

can

be

scor

ed.

H

The

tra

nsiti

on how

ever

indi

cate

s a

cont

rast

. Sen

tenc

es 2

0 an

d 21

ar

e no

t co

ntra

stin

g st

atem

ents

.

J Se

nten

ce 2

1 ne

eds

a st

rong

er li

nk t

o th

e pr

eced

ing

sent

ence

; ot

herw

ise,

it s

eem

s od

d an

d ou

t of

pla

ce.

39


56

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ E

dit

ing

Ski

ll C

heck

In e

ach

sen

ten

ce b

elo

w, a

dd

co

mm

as w

her

e n

eed

ed t

o s

et o

ff n

on

rest

rict

ive

ph

rase

s an

d p

aren

thet

ical

exp

ress

ion

s. U

nd

erlin

e th

ese

ph

rase

s an

d e

xpre

ssio

ns.

If a

sen

ten

ce

is c

orr

ect,

wri

te “

Co

rrec

t” b

esid

e it

.

4.

The

Cat

hed

ral o

f Ju

nk

thre

e st

ori

es o

f ra

nd

om

ob

ject

s ce

men

ted

to

get

her

is a

n

Au

stin

to

uri

st a

ttra

ctio

n.

5.

The

smo

oth

ies

at G

reen

Acr

es u

nlik

e th

e o

nes

at

Smo

oth

Mo

ves

do

no

t co

nta

in

add

ed s

ug

ar.

6.

The

sin

ger

s w

ho

ch

oo

se a

pp

rop

riat

e m

ater

ial a

nd

reh

ears

e o

ften

are

mo

re li

kely

to

en

joy

per

form

ing

.

Co

mm

as

wit

h I

ntr

od

uct

ory

Ele

men

tsU

se a

co

mm

a af

ter

an in

tro

du

cto

ry p

hra

se o

r cl

ause

. Wo

rds

such

as

afte

r, a

lth

ou

gh

, as

, bec

ause

, bef

ore

, if,

sin

ce, t

ho

ug

h, u

nle

ss, a

nd

wh

ile o

ften

sig

nal

intr

od

uct

ory

el

emen

ts, a

nd

so

do

par

tici

ple

s (w

ord

s th

at o

ften

en

d in

–in

g).

Wh

enev

er R

ob

ert

sho

ok

the

bag

of

foo

d , t

he

do

g b

arke

d.

Dis

app

oin

ted

by

the

resu

lts ,

he

did

n’t

sta

y to

see

th

e fi

nis

her

s.

Wai

tin

g f

or

the

bu

s , J

erem

y sk

etch

ed in

his

no

teb

oo

k.

Ski

ll C

heck

In e

ach

sen

ten

ce b

elo

w, a

dd

a c

om

ma

wh

ere

nee

ded

to

set

off

th

e in

tro

du

cto

ry

ph

rase

or

clau

se t

hat

sh

ou

ld b

e fo

llow

ed b

y a

com

ma.

7.

Wh

ile w

e w

ere

mak

ing

cu

pca

kes

Lisa

an

d M

anu

el fi

nis

hed

th

e si

gn

s.

8.

Loo

kin

g u

p f

rom

th

e sc

reen

Ram

on

a g

asp

ed w

hen

sh

e sa

w h

ow

late

it w

as.

9.

As

tire

d a

s w

e w

ere

afte

r th

e cl

ean

up

we

still

th

ou

gh

t w

e h

ad m

ade

the

rig

ht

dec

isio

n.

Mix

ed

Pra

ctic

eC

orr

ect

each

sen

ten

ce b

y ad

din

g c

om

mas

wh

ere

they

are

nee

ded

. If

a se

nte

nce

use

s co

mm

as c

orr

ectl

y, w

rite

“C

orr

ect”

bes

ide

it.

1.

The

team

th

at c

olle

cts

the

mo

st t

rash

will

win

mo

vie

tick

ets

and

a p

izza

din

ner

.

2.

Wh

ales

an

d d

olp

hin

s h

ear

very

wel

l so

it is

no

t su

rpri

sin

g t

hat

th

ey c

om

mu

nic

ate

thro

ug

h s

ou

nd

.

3.

It t

oo

k o

nly

fo

ur

day

s n

ot

the

wh

ole

wee

k f

or

us

to w

rite

th

e sc

rip

t an

d fi

nd

a t

ent.

4.

List

enin

g t

o t

he

ban

d c

on

cert

Co

dy

real

ized

he

had

alw

ays

wan

ted

to

pla

y th

e tr

um

pet

.

5.

Terr

ence

had

cra

mm

ed h

is d

uff

el b

ag f

ull

bu

t h

e h

adn

’t p

acke

d h

is s

ho

es o

r so

cks

yet.

6.

The

Gre

at B

arri

er R

eef

the

wo

rld

’s la

rges

t co

ral r

eef

syst

em i

s ex

per

ien

cin

g

wid

esp

read

co

ral b

leac

hin

g.

Thes

e in

trod

ucto

ry

phra

ses

add

info

rmat

ion

to

each

sen

tenc

e.{

Correct.

Correct.

,,

,,

,,

, ,

,,

,

,,

,

55

Edit

ing

Skill

2

Ed

itin

g S

kil

l ■

Co

mm

as

Usi

ng C

om

mas

Corr

ect

lyC

om

mas

are

use

d t

o s

epar

ate

or

set

off

par

ts o

f se

nte

nce

s. T

her

e ar

e m

any

rule

s fo

r co

mm

a u

se. T

his

less

on

co

vers

th

e ru

les

mo

st o

ften

tes

ted

by

STA

AR

.

Co

mm

as

an

d I

nd

ep

en

den

t C

lau

ses

Use

a c

om

ma

and

a c

oo

rdin

atin

g c

on

jun

ctio

n (a

nd

, bu

t, o

r, n

or,

fo

r, s

o, y

et)

to jo

in t

wo

in

dep

end

ent

clau

ses.

Ray

bro

ug

ht

the

bat

s an

d b

alls

, an

d C

aro

line

bro

ug

ht

glo

ves

and

hel

met

s.

Ho

wev

er, d

o N

OT

use

a c

om

ma

wit

h c

om

po

un

d v

erb

s.

Ray

bro

ug

ht

the

bat

s b

ut

forg

ot

the

bal

ls.

Ski

ll C

heck

In e

ach

sen

ten

ce b

elo

w, a

dd

a c

om

ma

wh

ere

nee

ded

to

co

mb

ine

the

two

ind

epen

den

t cl

ause

s an

d d

raw

a b

ox

aro

un

d t

he

coo

rdin

atin

g c

on

jun

ctio

n. I

f a

sen

ten

ce is

co

rrec

t,

wri

te “

Co

rrec

t” b

esid

e it

.

1.

Cam

illa

ran

th

e lo

op

aro

un

d t

he

pra

ctic

e fi

eld

an

d C

her

ice

clim

bed

up

an

d d

ow

n

the

stai

rs.

2.

Bo

th D

way

ne

and

Do

nel

le s

aw t

he

mo

un

tain

lio

n b

ut

Dw

ayn

e g

ot

a b

ette

r vi

ew o

f it

.

3.

Take

bo

th e

nd

s an

d lo

op

th

em a

rou

nd

eac

h o

ther

in a

loo

se k

no

t.

Co

mm

as

wit

h I

nte

rru

pte

rsU

se c

om

mas

to

set

off

no

nre

stri

ctiv

e p

hra

ses

and

cla

use

s, a

nd

par

enth

etic

al

exp

ress

ion

s. N

on

rest

rict

ive

and

par

enth

etic

al e

lem

ents

are

th

ose

th

at a

re n

ot

esse

nti

al

to t

he

bas

ic m

ean

ing

of

the

sen

ten

ce.

My

bro

ther

Sam

, wh

o b

uilt

a c

hic

ken

co

op

, pla

ys b

aseb

all.

The

gir

l wit

h t

he

red

sh

irt

wo

n a

fre

e tr

ip t

o H

awai

i.

The

new

bik

e p

ath

s , a

s ex

pec

ted

, are

get

tin

g a

lot

of

use

.

Als

o u

se c

om

mas

to

set

off

co

ntr

asti

ng

exp

ress

ion

s.

The

po

lice , n

ot

the

fire

dep

artm

ent ,

will

inve

stig

ate

the

inci

den

t.

(E2.18B)

Inde

pend

ent

clau

ses

have

a s

ubje

ct a

nd

verb

and

tel

l a c

ompl

ete

thou

ght.

This

is a

non

rest

rictiv

e ph

rase

, ext

ra

info

rmat

ion

that

is n

ot n

eede

d.

This

phr

ase

is n

ot n

eces

sary

, so

it ne

eds

a co

mm

a be

fore

and

aft

er.

The

com

mas

set

off

ext

ra in

form

atio

n in

the

sen

tenc

e.

This

is a

res

tric

tive

phra

se. W

e ne

ed t

o kn

ow t

his

info

rmat

ion

to m

ake

it cl

ear

whi

ch g

irl w

on t

he t

rip.

Usi

ng a

com

ma

with

the

wor

d an

d jo

ins

the

inde

pend

ent

clau

ses.

Thes

e ve

rbs

have

the

sam

e su

bjec

t (R

ay),

so t

here

is

no

com

ma

befo

re t

he c

onju

nctio

n w

ord bu

t.

Correct.

,

,

© Sirius Education Solutions Editing Skill ■ Commas 55–56


72E

ng

lish

II

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ E

dit

ing

(13)

Alth

ough

pra

irie

dog

s co

nsum

e m

uch

of t

he v

eget

atio

n in

an

area

, th

ey d

o m

ake

posi

tive

cont

ribu

tions

to

thei

r en

viro

nmen

ts.

(14)

The

rod

ents

’ dro

ppin

gs f

ertil

ize

the

soil,

and

they

’re

tunn

els

add

air

and

keep

the

ear

th f

rom

pac

king

dow

n. (

15)

Rai

nwat

er r

uns

into

the

tunn

els,

whe

re it

add

s to

the

gro

und

wat

er in

stea

d of

cau

sed

eros

ion.

(16)

One

rea

son

num

bers

of pr

airi

e do

gs h

ave

plun

ged

in T

exas

is t

hat

peop

le h

unt

them

. (1

7) R

anch

ers

and

farm

ers

kill

them

bec

ause

the

rod

ents

eat

cro

ps a

nd g

rass

es.

(18)

In a

dditi

on,

peop

le h

unt

them

for

spo

rt.

(19)

In

the

panh

andl

e, h

unte

rs f

rom

nea

r an

d fa

r

pay

guid

es t

o ta

ke t

hem

on

prai

rie

dog

hunt

s.

(20)

Hun

ters

can

not

take

the

se a

lert

ani

mal

s by

sur

pris

e, t

houg

h. (

21)

Look

outs

who

wat

ch f

or p

reda

tors

, ar

e st

atio

ned

at t

he b

urro

w e

ntra

nces

, an

d w

hen

a hu

man

or p

reda

tory

ani

mal

app

roac

hes

thei

r co

lony

, th

ese

look

outs

mak

e w

arni

ng c

alls

. (2

2)

Acc

ordi

ng t

o so

me

rese

arch

ers,

pra

irie

dog

s ca

n ev

en d

escr

ibe

the

hunt

ers

to o

ne a

noth

er.

(23)

Usi

ng d

iffer

ent

calls

, th

ey c

an t

ell t

he c

olon

y w

heth

er a

hum

an is

tal

l, sh

ort,

thi

n, o

r

broa

d. (

24)

They

can

als

o te

ll w

hat

colo

r cl

othi

ng t

he h

uman

is w

eari

ng,

how

fas

t he

or

she

are

mov

ing,

and

whe

ther

he

or s

he h

as a

gun

.

(25)

Whi

le s

ome

peop

le a

re h

untin

g pr

airi

e do

gs,

how

ever

, ot

hers

are

pro

tect

ing

them

. (2

6) T

oday

, m

any

prai

rie

dogs

live

in p

rote

cted

col

onie

s su

ch a

s Pr

airi

e D

og T

own

in

Lubb

ock,

Tex

as.

(27)

The

re,

visi

tors

can

obs

erve

the

se f

asci

natin

g an

imal

s up

clo

se a

s th

ey

live,

wor

k, a

nd c

omm

unic

ate.

71

Ed

itin

g ■

Pra

ctic

e

Edit

ing 1

Edit

ing

Pra

ctic

e

Rea

d t

he

sele

ctio

n a

nd

ch

oo

se t

he

bes

t an

swer

to

each

qu

esti

on

.

Whe

n C

arm

en w

as a

sked

to

wri

te a

bout

an

anim

al n

ativ

e to

Tex

as,

she

chos

e to

wri

te a

bout

pr

airi

e do

gs.

Rea

d C

arm

en’s

pap

er a

nd t

hink

abo

ut t

he c

orre

ctio

ns s

he s

houl

d m

ake.

Whe

n yo

u fin

ish

read

ing,

ans

wer

the

que

stio

ns t

hat

follo

w.

Texa

s P

rair

ie D

ogs

(1)

Texa

s w

as o

nce

hom

e to

mill

ions

of pr

airi

e do

gs.

(2)

Thei

r co

mm

uniti

es s

praw

led

acro

ss t

he p

lain

s, e

spec

ially

in t

he w

este

rn p

art

of T

exas

, bu

t nu

mbe

rs o

f pr

airi

e do

gs h

ave

plun

ged

in t

he S

tate

.

(3)

Pra

irie

dog

s ar

e no

t ac

tual

ly d

ogs.

(4)

The

y ar

e ro

dent

s, r

elat

ed t

o sq

uirr

els,

goph

ers,

and

rat

s. (

5) A

lthou

gh t

hey

look

like

foo

t-lo

ng s

quir

rels

set

tlers

nam

ed t

hem

prai

rie

dogs

bec

ause

of th

eir

dogl

ike

bark

s. (

6) L

ike

mos

t ot

her

rode

nts,

the

y ea

t pl

ants

,

incl

udin

g gr

asse

s, f

low

erin

g pl

ants

, ro

ots,

and

see

ds.

(7)

Prai

rie

dog

colo

nies

are

hug

e un

derg

roun

d co

mpl

exes

of co

nnec

ted

tunn

els

and

burr

ows

with

sev

eral

ent

ranc

es.

(8)

You

can

spot

the

m b

ecau

se o

f th

e ra

ised

mou

nd a

t

each

ent

ranc

e. (

9) T

he c

olon

ies

incl

ude

diff

eren

t ro

oms

for

slee

ping

, ca

ring

for

you

ng,

and

stor

ing

food

. (1

0) T

exas

pra

irie

dog

com

mun

ities

, so

met

imes

cal

led

tow

ns,

incl

ude

hund

reds

of p

rair

ie d

ogs

and

are

high

ly o

rgan

ized

. (1

1) T

hey

usua

lly c

over

less

tha

n a

squa

re m

ile,

but

one

Texa

s pr

airi

e do

g to

wn

cove

red

25,0

00 s

quar

e m

iles.

(12

) Aro

und

four

hun

dred

mill

ion

prai

rie

dogs

may

hav

e liv

ed in

tha

t to

wn.

© Sirius Education Solutions Editing ■ Practice 71–72


73

Ed

itin

g ■

Pra

ctic

e

1

Wha

t ch

ange

, if

any,

sho

uld

be m

ade

in s

ente

nce

2?

(E2.

18A

)

A

Cha

nge

com

mu

nit

ies

to c

om

un

itie

s

B

Cha

nge

Sta

te t

o st

ate

C

Del

ete

the

com

ma

afte

r Te

xas

D

No

chan

ge s

houl

d be

mad

e in

thi

s se

nten

ce.

2

Wha

t is

the

cor

rect

way

to

wri

te s

ente

nce

5?

(E2.

17C

)

F Alth

ough

the

y lo

ok li

ke f

oot-

long

squ

irre

ls.

Set

tlers

nam

ed t

hem

pra

irie

dog

s be

caus

e of

th

eir

dogl

ike

bark

s.

G

Alth

ough

the

y lo

ok li

ke f

oot-

long

squ

irre

ls,

sett

lers

nam

ed t

hem

pra

irie

dog

s be

caus

e

of t

heir d

oglik

e ba

rks.

H

Alth

ough

the

y lo

ok li

ke f

oot-

long

squ

irre

ls,

sett

lers

nam

ed t

hem

pra

irie

dog

s. B

ecau

se

of t

heir d

oglik

e ba

rks.

J Alth

ough

the

y lo

ok li

ke f

oot-

long

squ

irre

ls s

ettle

rs n

amed

the

m p

rair

ie d

ogs

beca

use

of

thei

r do

glik

e ba

rks.

3

Wha

t ch

ange

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

sen

tenc

e 14

?

(E2.

18B

)

A

Cha

nge

rod

ents

’ to

rod

ent’

s

B

Cha

nge

they

’re

to t

hei

r

C

Cha

nge

keep

to

keep

ing

D

Inse

rt a

com

ma

afte

r tu

nn

els


An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

1

A Com

munities

is t

he c

orre

ct s

pelli

ng.

B

Cor

rect

. The

wor

d state

wou

ld b

e ca

pita

lized

if it

wer

e pa

rt o

f a

prop

er n

oun,

but

in t

his

sent

ence

it is

a c

omm

on n

oun

and

shou

ld n

ot b

e ca

pita

lized

.

C A

com

ma

is n

eede

d af

ter Texas

to s

epar

ate

the

first

cla

use

from

th

e se

cond

in t

his

com

poun

d se

nten

ce.

D

The

wor

d state

is c

apita

lized

onl

y w

hen

it is

par

t of

a p

rope

r no

un.

2

F Pl

acin

g a

perio

d af

ter squirrels

mak

es t

his

clau

se in

to a

sen

tenc

e fr

agm

ent.

G C

orre

ct. A

com

ma

is u

sed

to s

epar

ate

the

depe

nden

t cl

ause

fro

m

the

inde

pend

ent

clau

se in

thi

s co

mpl

ex s

ente

nce.

H

End

ing

a se

nten

ce a

fter

dogs

mak

es t

he r

est

of t

he s

ente

nce

into

a

sent

ence

fra

gmen

t.

J A

com

ma

is n

eede

d to

sep

arat

e th

e de

pend

ent

clau

se f

rom

the

in

depe

nden

t cl

ause

in t

his

com

plex

sen

tenc

e.

3

A T

he w

ord rodents

is a

plu

ral n

oun,

so

the

plur

al p

osse

ssiv

e fo

rm is

ap

prop

riate

.

B C

orre

ct. They’re

is a

con

trac

tion,

and

thi

s se

nten

ce c

alls

for

a

poss

essi

ve p

rono

un h

ere.

C

Keep

is t

he c

orre

ct f

orm

of

the

verb

.

D A

com

ma

is n

ot a

ppro

pria

te h

ere.

English II EOC Writing ■ Editing73


74E

ng

lish

II

EO

C W

riti

ng

■ E

dit

ing

4

Wha

t ch

ange

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

sen

tenc

e 15

? (

E2.

17A

)

F D

elet

e th

e co

mm

a af

ter

tun

nel

s

G

Cha

nge

tun

nel

s to

tu

nel

s

H

Inse

rt a

com

ma

afte

r ru

ns

J Cha

nge

cau

sed t

o ca

usi

ng

5

Wha

t ch

ange

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

sen

tenc

e 21

?

(E2.

18B

)

A

Inse

rt a

com

ma

afte

r lo

oko

uts

B

Cha

nge

wh

o to

wh

om

C

Cha

nge

app

roac

hes

to

app

roac

hs

D

Cha

nge

mak

e to

mak

es

6

Wha

t ch

ange

, if

any,

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

sen

tenc

e 24

? (E

2.13

D)

F Cha

nge

can

als

o to

co

uld

als

o

G

Del

ete

the

com

ma

afte

r w

eari

ng

H

Cha

nge

are

mov

ing t

o is

mov

ing

J N

o ch

ange

nee

ds t

o be

mad

e in

thi

s se

nten

ce.


An

swer

Ch

oic

e Ex

pla

nat

ion

s

4

F A

com

ma

is n

eede

d to

sep

arat

e th

e no

nres

tric

tive

clau

se f

rom

the

in

depe

nden

t cl

ause

in t

his

sent

ence

.

G T

unne

ls is

spe

lled

corr

ectly

.

H A

com

ma

is n

ot a

ppro

pria

te h

ere.

J

Cor

rect

. Cau

sing

is t

he c

orre

ct f

orm

of

the

verb

.

5

A C

orre

ct. A

com

ma

is n

eede

d he

re t

o se

para

te t

he n

onre

stric

tive

clau

se t

hat

follo

ws

from

the

res

t of

the

sen

tenc

e.

B

Who

is t

he s

ubje

ct o

f th

is c

laus

e.

C

Fol

low

ing

the

lett

ers

ch, t

he s

ingu

lar

pres

ent

tens

e is

for

med

by

addi

ng -

es.

D

Bec

ause

look

outs

is p

lura

l, m

ake

is t

he c

orre

ct f

orm

of

the

verb

.

6

F C

an a

lso

is t

he c

orre

ct f

orm

of

the

verb

.

G T

he c

omm

a se

para

tes

a lis

t in

a s

erie

s.

H C

orre

ct. T

he s

ubje

ct is

he

or s

he, s

ingu

lar,

so t

he v

erb

shou

ld b

e is

an

d no

t ar

e.

J Th

ere

is a

ver

b er

ror

with

in t

he s

ente

nce.

Editing ■ Practice 74


98

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Skill

2D

raft

ing t

he P

osi

tion

Sta

tem

ent

In a

n e

ssay

, th

e p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t, o

r p

osi

tio

n, s

tate

s th

e to

pic

an

d t

he

wri

ter’

s m

ain

id

ea a

bo

ut

the

top

ic. I

t sh

ou

ld d

irec

tly

resp

on

d t

o t

he

qu

esti

on

or

dir

ecti

on

in t

he

pro

mp

t. It

sh

ou

ld a

lso

cle

arly

tel

l yo

ur

read

er y

ou

r ce

ntr

al b

elie

f, id

ea, o

r re

spo

nse

in

the

essa

y. F

or

the

STA

AR

tes

t, t

his

mea

ns

stat

ing

a p

osi

tio

n t

hat

can

be

sup

po

rted

an

d

arg

ued

.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

You

r p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t sh

ou

ld r

esp

on

d t

o t

he

pro

mp

t d

irec

tly

and

giv

e an

op

inio

n

that

can

be

arg

ued

wit

h r

easo

ns

and

exa

mp

les.

Rea

d t

his

pro

mp

t fr

om

th

e 20

15 S

TAA

R

test

.

Her

e is

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

fo

r th

e p

rom

pt.

Idea

listic

peo

ple

are

bett

er a

t pu

rsuing

big g

oals,

while p

ract

ical p

eople

are

bett

er a

t co

mplet

ing

smaller

task

s.

This

po

siti

on

sta

tem

ent

do

es s

tay

on

to

pic

. Ho

wev

er, t

her

e is

no

cle

ar c

laim

. Th

e w

rite

r su

mm

ariz

es t

he

qu

ota

tio

n in

stea

d o

f st

atin

g a

n o

pin

ion

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t.

Her

e is

a r

evis

ion

of

the

po

siti

on

.

The

abilit

y to

dre

am b

ig is

the

mos

t im

port

ant

quality

a p

erso

n ne

eds

to live

a

rem

arka

ble

life

and

help o

ther

s.

This

po

siti

on

is m

ore

sp

ecifi

c. It

mak

es a

cla

im, o

r ar

gu

men

t, in

res

po

nse

to

th

e p

rom

pt.

WR

ITTE

N C

OM

PO

SIT

ION

: P

ersu

asiv

e

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Idea

listic

peo

ple

are

thos

e w

ho p

ursu

e gr

eat

idea

s in

the

hop

e of

ch

angi

ng t

he w

orld

. Bec

ause

the

ir p

lans

are

oft

en q

uite

am

bitio

us,

thes

e pe

ople

can

hav

e di

fficu

lty

acco

mpl

ishi

ng s

mal

ler, c

oncr

ete

goal

s. I

n co

ntra

st,

prac

tical

peo

ple

conc

entr

ate

on w

orka

ble

idea

s an

d go

als.

The

ir a

ppro

ach

is li

kely

to

lend

itse

lf to

tan

gibl

e so

lutio

ns,

even

if

thes

e pe

ople

fai

l to

envi

sion

gra

nd id

eas.

—W

inst

on C

hurc

hill

Whi

ch a

ppro

ach

is m

ore

valu

able

in li

fe:

an id

ealis

tic o

ne o

r a

prac

tical

one

?

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

thi

s qu

estio

n.

Wri

te a

n es

say

stat

ing

your

opi

nion

on

whe

ther

it’s

bet

ter

to d

ream

big

or

to b

e re

alis

tic.

ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

II, 2

015

97

Co

mp

osi

tio

n S

kil

l ■

An

alyz

ing

Pro

mp

t

In t

he

spac

e b

elo

w t

he

pro

mp

t, w

rite

yo

ur

tho

ug

hts

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t. D

on

’t

wo

rry

abo

ut

wri

tin

g c

om

ple

te s

ente

nce

s, a

nd

do

n’t

jud

ge

you

r id

eas

at t

his

po

int.

The

quot

e sa

ys t

hat

idea

listic

peo

ple

purs

ue b

ig id

eas

and

prac

tical p

eople

focu

s on

wor

kable

goals.

The

ques

tion

is a

sking

if it

’s be

tter

in life

to

be id

ealis

tic o

r pr

actic

al.

The

quot

e m

akes

it s

ound

like

peo

ple

are

idea

listic

or

prac

tical b

ut n

ot b

oth.

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

e1

Fir

st r

ead

th

e p

rom

pt.

Th

en u

se t

he

step

s yo

u’v

e le

arn

ed t

o a

nal

yze

the

pro

mp

t.

2 L

abel

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t (t

he

qu

ota

tio

n, t

he

“Th

ink”

sta

tem

ent

or

qu

esti

on

, an

d t

he

wri

tin

g a

ssig

nm

ent)

.

3 U

sin

g y

ou

r o

wn

wo

rds,

res

tate

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t in

th

e g

rap

hic

org

aniz

er

bel

ow

. (1) Q

uote

:(2

) St

atem

ent

or Q

uest

ion:

(3) As

signm

ent:

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

To im

prov

e is

to

chan

ge;

to b

e pe

rfec

t is

to

chan

ge o

ften

.

—W

inst

on C

hurc

hill

Som

e pe

ople

fea

r ch

ange

whi

le s

ome

embr

ace

it. T

hink

car

eful

ly a

bout

thi

s st

atem

ent.

Wri

te a

n es

say

stat

ing

your

opi

nion

on

whe

ther

it’s

bes

t to

cha

nge

or t

o st

ay t

he s

ame.

(2)

(1) (3

)

quot

atio

n

“Thin

k” st

atem

ent o

r que

stion

assig

nmen

t

The

quot

e is

sayin

g th

at ch

angin

g is

a wa

y of i

mpr

oving

yo

urse

lf.

The s

tatem

ent p

oints

out t

hat p

eople

have

dif

feren

t fee

lings

abou

t ch

ange

. Som

e peo

ple

like i

t and

some

don

’t.

This

is rel

ated

to th

e qu

ote b

ecau

se ch

ange

ca

n be

diffi

cult,

even

if

it he

lps p

eople

impr

ove.

The

assig

nmen

t is

askin

g m

e to

writ

e an

ess

ay e

xplai

ning

my o

pinio

n on

wha

t is

best:

chan

ging

or

stayin

g th

e sa

me.

English II EOC Writing ■ Composition © Sirius Education Solutions97–98

98

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Skill

2D

raft

ing t

he P

osi

tion

Sta

tem

ent

In a

n e

ssay

, th

e p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t, o

r p

osi

tio

n, s

tate

s th

e to

pic

an

d t

he

wri

ter’

s m

ain

id

ea a

bo

ut

the

top

ic. I

t sh

ou

ld d

irec

tly

resp

on

d t

o t

he

qu

esti

on

or

dir

ecti

on

in t

he

pro

mp

t. It

sh

ou

ld a

lso

cle

arly

tel

l yo

ur

read

er y

ou

r ce

ntr

al b

elie

f, id

ea, o

r re

spo

nse

in

the

essa

y. F

or

the

STA

AR

tes

t, t

his

mea

ns

stat

ing

a p

osi

tio

n t

hat

can

be

sup

po

rted

an

d

arg

ued

.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

You

r p

osi

tio

n s

tate

men

t sh

ou

ld r

esp

on

d t

o t

he

pro

mp

t d

irec

tly

and

giv

e an

op

inio

n

that

can

be

arg

ued

wit

h r

easo

ns

and

exa

mp

les.

Rea

d t

his

pro

mp

t fr

om

th

e 20

15 S

TAA

R

test

.

Her

e is

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

fo

r th

e p

rom

pt.

Idea

listic

peo

ple

are

bett

er a

t pu

rsuing

big g

oals,

while p

ract

ical p

eople

are

bett

er a

t co

mplet

ing

smaller

task

s.

This

po

siti

on

sta

tem

ent

do

es s

tay

on

to

pic

. Ho

wev

er, t

her

e is

no

cle

ar c

laim

. Th

e w

rite

r su

mm

ariz

es t

he

qu

ota

tio

n in

stea

d o

f st

atin

g a

n o

pin

ion

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t.

Her

e is

a r

evis

ion

of

the

po

siti

on

.

The

abilit

y to

dre

am b

ig is

the

mos

t im

port

ant

quality

a p

erso

n ne

eds

to live

a

rem

arka

ble

life

and

help o

ther

s.

This

po

siti

on

is m

ore

sp

ecifi

c. It

mak

es a

cla

im, o

r ar

gu

men

t, in

res

po

nse

to

th

e p

rom

pt.

WR

ITTE

N C

OM

PO

SIT

ION

: P

ersu

asiv

e

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Idea

listic

peo

ple

are

thos

e w

ho p

ursu

e gr

eat

idea

s in

the

hop

e of

ch

angi

ng t

he w

orld

. Bec

ause

the

ir p

lans

are

oft

en q

uite

am

bitio

us,

thes

e pe

ople

can

hav

e di

fficu

lty

acco

mpl

ishi

ng s

mal

ler, c

oncr

ete

goal

s. I

n co

ntra

st,

prac

tical

peo

ple

conc

entr

ate

on w

orka

ble

idea

s an

d go

als.

The

ir a

ppro

ach

is li

kely

to

lend

itse

lf to

tan

gibl

e so

lutio

ns,

even

if

thes

e pe

ople

fai

l to

envi

sion

gra

nd id

eas.

—W

inst

on C

hurc

hill

Whi

ch a

ppro

ach

is m

ore

valu

able

in li

fe:

an id

ealis

tic o

ne o

r a

prac

tical

one

?

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

thi

s qu

estio

n.

Wri

te a

n es

say

stat

ing

your

opi

nion

on

whe

ther

it’s

bet

ter

to d

ream

big

or

to b

e re

alis

tic.

ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

II, 2

015

97

Co

mp

osi

tio

n S

kil

l ■

An

alyz

ing

Pro

mp

t

In t

he

spac

e b

elo

w t

he

pro

mp

t, w

rite

yo

ur

tho

ug

hts

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t. D

on

’t

wo

rry

abo

ut

wri

tin

g c

om

ple

te s

ente

nce

s, a

nd

do

n’t

jud

ge

you

r id

eas

at t

his

po

int.

The

quot

e sa

ys t

hat

idea

listic

peo

ple

purs

ue b

ig id

eas

and

prac

tical p

eople

focu

s on

wor

kable

goals.

The

ques

tion

is a

sking

if it

’s be

tter

in life

to

be id

ealis

tic o

r pr

actic

al.

The

quot

e m

akes

it s

ound

like

peo

ple

are

idea

listic

or

prac

tical b

ut n

ot b

oth.

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

e1

Fir

st r

ead

th

e p

rom

pt.

Th

en u

se t

he

step

s yo

u’v

e le

arn

ed t

o a

nal

yze

the

pro

mp

t.

2 L

abel

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t (t

he

qu

ota

tio

n, t

he

“Th

ink”

sta

tem

ent

or

qu

esti

on

, an

d t

he

wri

tin

g a

ssig

nm

ent)

.

3 U

sin

g y

ou

r o

wn

wo

rds,

res

tate

eac

h p

art

of

the

pro

mp

t in

th

e g

rap

hic

org

aniz

er

bel

ow

. (1) Q

uote

:(2

) St

atem

ent

or Q

uest

ion:

(3) As

signm

ent:

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

To im

prov

e is

to

chan

ge;

to b

e pe

rfec

t is

to

chan

ge o

ften

.

—W

inst

on C

hurc

hill

Som

e pe

ople

fea

r ch

ange

whi

le s

ome

embr

ace

it. T

hink

car

eful

ly a

bout

thi

s st

atem

ent.

Wri

te a

n es

say

stat

ing

your

opi

nion

on

whe

ther

it’s

bes

t to

cha

nge

or t

o st

ay t

he s

ame.

(2)

(1) (3

)

quot

atio

n

“Thin

k” st

atem

ent o

r que

stion

assig

nmen

t

The

quot

e is

sayin

g th

at ch

angin

g is

a wa

y of i

mpr

oving

yo

urse

lf.

The s

tatem

ent p

oints

out t

hat p

eople

have

dif

feren

t fee

lings

abou

t ch

ange

. Som

e peo

ple

like i

t and

some

don

’t.

This

is rel

ated

to th

e qu

ote b

ecau

se ch

ange

ca

n be

diffi

cult,

even

if

it he

lps p

eople

impr

ove.

The

assig

nmen

t is

askin

g m

e to

writ

e an

ess

ay e

xplai

ning

my o

pinio

n on

wha

t is

best:

chan

ging

or

stayin

g th

e sa

me.

English II EOC Writing ■ Composition © Sirius Education Solutions97–98

100

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Skill

3D

evelo

pin

g S

upport

ing

Ideas

and E

vid

ence

On

ce y

ou

hav

e d

raft

ed y

ou

r p

osi

tio

n, y

ou

will

nee

d t

o d

evel

op

idea

s an

d u

se e

xam

ple

s o

r ev

iden

ce t

o s

up

po

rt t

hem

. Yo

ur

idea

s ar

e th

ou

gh

ts t

hat

are

rel

ated

to

yo

ur

po

siti

on

an

d t

hat

exp

lain

it in

a s

pec

ific

way

. Yo

ur

exam

ple

s an

d e

vid

ence

are

det

ails

fro

m y

ou

r o

wn

exp

erie

nce

or

fro

m w

hat

yo

u k

no

w. E

ach

idea

sh

ou

ld e

lab

ora

te o

n t

he

po

siti

on

, an

d y

ou

r ex

amp

les

and

evi

den

ce s

ho

uld

su

pp

ort

yo

ur

idea

s.

STA

AR

Str

ate

gy

A s

imp

le o

utl

ine

is a

n e

ffec

tive

way

to

pla

n y

ou

r id

eas

and

th

ink

abo

ut

som

e ex

amp

les

and

evi

den

ce t

o u

se.

Rea

d t

his

par

t o

f th

e co

mp

osi

tio

n p

rom

pt

fro

m t

he

2015

STA

AR

tes

t:

Aft

er y

ou

hav

e d

raft

ed a

po

siti

on

th

at r

esp

on

ds

to t

his

qu

esti

on

, yo

u s

ho

uld

th

ink

abo

ut

the

maj

or

idea

s yo

u c

an p

rese

nt

to s

up

po

rt y

ou

r p

osi

tio

n. Y

ou

nee

d o

nly

as

man

y b

od

y p

arag

rap

hs

as it

tak

es t

o f

ully

exp

lain

yo

ur

po

siti

on

. Eac

h id

ea w

ill b

e th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

fo

r o

ne

of

you

r b

od

y p

arag

rap

hs.

Posi

tio

n:

The

abilit

y to

dre

am b

ig is

the

mos

t im

port

ant

quality

a p

erso

n ne

eds

to live

a

rem

arka

ble

life

and

help o

ther

s.

Idea

1:

Idea

lists

are

mor

e lik

ely

to c

reat

e big

chan

ges

in t

he w

orld.

Idea

2:

If s

omeo

ne is

mot

ivat

ed t

o pu

rsue

a b

ig d

ream

, tha

t pe

rson

can

lear

n th

e pr

actic

al s

kills

nee

ded

to g

et t

here

.

Nex

t, y

ou

will

nee

d e

vid

ence

to

su

pp

ort

th

e co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

of

each

par

agra

ph

. Ev

iden

ce c

an c

om

e fr

om

yo

ur

per

son

al e

xper

ien

ce. I

t ca

n a

lso

co

me

fro

m y

ou

r kn

ow

led

ge

of

oth

er s

ub

ject

s, s

uch

as

scie

nce

an

d s

oci

al s

tud

ies.

Fin

ally

, evi

den

ce c

an

com

e fr

om

a lo

gic

al a

rgu

men

t th

at y

ou

mak

e ab

ou

t th

e to

pic

.

Loo

k at

Idea

1:

Idea

lists

are

mor

e lik

ely

to c

reat

e big

chan

ges

in t

he w

orld.

Her

e is

a p

iece

of

evid

ence

fro

m a

per

son

al e

xper

ien

ce t

hat

su

pp

ort

s th

is id

ea:

Whe

n I w

as g

rowing

up, r

ole

mod

els

like

Am

elia E

arha

rt a

nd M

aya

Ang

elou

insp

ired

me

to d

ream

big.

Whi

ch a

ppro

ach

is m

ore

valu

able

in li

fe:

an id

ealis

tic o

ne o

r a

prac

tical

one

?

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

thi

s qu

estio

n.

ST

AA

R E

ngl

ish

II, 2

015

99

C

om

po

siti

on

Skil

l ■

Posi

tio

n S

tate

men

t

The

wri

ter

bel

ieve

s th

at d

ream

ing

big

is m

ore

imp

ort

ant

than

bei

ng

rea

listi

c b

ecau

se

big

dre

amer

s ca

n h

elp

mo

re p

eop

le.

The

idea

th

at id

ealis

m is

th

e m

ain

ing

red

ien

t in

a

rem

arka

ble

life

mak

es t

he

po

siti

on

sta

tem

ent

mo

re c

om

ple

x.

It is

go

od

to

th

ink

abo

ut

you

r th

esis

as

a w

ork

ing

th

esis

an

d n

ot

the

fin

al t

hes

is f

or

the

essa

y. A

s yo

u p

lan

an

d d

raft

yo

ur

com

po

siti

on

, yo

u m

ay n

eed

to

rev

ise

the

thes

is

slig

htl

y to

bet

ter

fit

you

r th

ou

gh

ts. I

t is

mu

ch e

asie

r to

rev

ise

you

r th

esis

to

bet

ter

fit

you

r es

say

than

to

rev

ise

you

r w

ho

le e

ssay

to

fit

you

r th

esis

.

Gu

ided

Pra

ctic

eR

ead

th

is p

rom

pt.

Imp

rovin

g a

Po

siti

on

Sta

tem

en

t N

ow

rea

d e

ach

po

siti

on

sta

tem

ent

bel

ow

an

d

thin

k ab

ou

t h

ow

it c

ou

ld b

e im

pro

ved

to

res

po

nd

bet

ter

to t

he

pro

mp

t, b

e m

ore

d

etai

led

, or

bo

th.

Wri

te a

rev

ised

po

siti

on

on

th

e lin

es b

elo

w e

ach

po

siti

on

sta

tem

ent.

1.

Posi

tio

n: I

t is

oft

en n

eces

sary

to

ch

ang

e, w

het

her

yo

u li

ke it

or

no

t.

2.

Posi

tio

n: I

t is

imp

ort

ant

to a

lway

s b

e im

pro

vin

g y

ou

r lif

e.

3.

Posi

tio

n: T

hin

gs

chan

ge,

bu

t m

y fa

vori

te p

eop

le s

tay

the

sam

e.

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

To im

prov

e is

to

chan

ge;

to b

e pe

rfec

t is

to

chan

ge o

ften

.

—W

inst

on C

hurc

hill

Som

e pe

ople

fea

r ch

ange

whi

le s

ome

embr

ace

it. T

hink

car

eful

ly a

bout

thi

s st

atem

ent.

Wri

te a

n es

say

stat

ing

your

opi

nion

on

whe

ther

it’s

bes

t to

cha

nge

or t

o st

ay t

he s

ame.

Sam

ple

answ

er: I

t is i

mpo

rtant

to b

e ab

le to

chan

ge, b

ecau

se ch

ange

wi

ll hap

pen

whe

ther

or n

ot yo

u ar

e re

ady.

Sam

ple

answ

er: I

t is i

mpo

rtant

to im

prov

e ou

r live

s and

our

selve

s, an

d to

impr

ove,

we m

ust b

e wi

lling

to ch

ange

.

Sam

ple

answ

er: T

houg

h th

e wo

rld is

in a

cons

tant

stat

e of

chan

ge,

your

true

self

will a

lway

s be

the

sam

e.

© Sirius Education Solutions Composition Skill ■ Supporting Ideas 99–100


98–99

111

C

om

po

siti

on

■ P

ract

ice

Org

an

izin

g Y

ou

r Id

ea

s an

d E

xam

ple

s U

se t

his

ch

art

to o

rgan

ize

and

dev

elo

p id

eas

and

exa

mp

les

for

you

r es

say.

Thes

is:

Para

gra

ph

1

INTR

OD

UC

TIO

N

Co

ntr

olli

ng

Idea

: Pa

rag

rap

h 2

Exam

ple

:

Exp

lan

atio

n:

BO

DY

TRA

NSI

TIO

N

Co

ntr

olli

ng

Idea

: Pa

rag

rap

h 3

(op

tio

nal

)

Exam

ple

:

Exp

lan

atio

n:

BO

DY

TRA

NSI

TIO

N

Co

ntr

olli

ng

Idea

: Pa

rag

rap

h 4

(op

tio

nal

)

Exam

ple

:

Exp

lan

atio

n:

BO

DY

Res

tate

Th

esis

: Fi

nal

Par

agra

ph

CO

NC

LUSI

ON

110

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Com

posi

tion

Prac

tice

Bra

inst

orm

Id

ea

sW

rite

do

wn

an

y th

ou

gh

ts a

nd

idea

s yo

u h

ave

in r

esp

on

se t

o t

he

pro

mp

t. D

on

’t w

orr

y ab

ou

t w

riti

ng

co

mp

lete

sen

ten

ces.

An

d d

on

’t ju

dg

e yo

ur

idea

s—ye

t. A

fter

yo

u t

hin

k o

f a

few

idea

s, r

ead

th

rou

gh

th

em a

nd

loo

k fo

r o

ne

that

an

swer

s th

e p

rom

pt,

mak

es a

n

arg

um

ent

or

clai

m, a

nd

is a

n id

ea y

ou

th

ink

you

can

dev

elo

p in

to a

fu

ll es

say.

Rea

d th

e fo

llow

ing

quot

atio

n.

Failu

re is

ano

ther

gre

at s

tepp

ing

ston

e to

gre

atne

ss.

—O

prah

Win

frey

Thin

k ca

refu

lly a

bout

the

fol

low

ing

ques

tion.

Can

som

eone

exp

erie

nce

succ

ess

with

out

failu

re?

Wri

te a

n es

say

expl

aini

ng y

our

opin

ion

on t

he r

elat

ions

hip

betw

een

succ

ess

and

failu

re.

Be

sure

to

—•

clea

rly

stat

e yo

ur t

hesi

s•

orga

nize

and

dev

elop

you

r id

eas

effe

ctiv

ely

• ch

oose

you

r w

ords

car

eful

ly•

edit

your

wri

ting

for

gram

mar

, m

echa

nics

, an

d sp

ellin

g

Pro

mpt

2

Composition ■ Practice© Sirius Education Solutions 110–111


112

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Wri

te y

ou

r es

say

in t

he

bo

x b

elo

w. D

o n

ot

add

lin

es in

sid

e th

e b

ox

or

wri

te o

uts

ide

the

bo

x.

Ch

eck

to m

ake

sure

yo

ur

essa

y h

as a

cle

ar t

hes

is s

tate

men

t i

n e

ach

bo

dy

par

agra

ph

, a c

on

tro

llin

g id

ea t

hat

su

pp

ort

s th

e th

esis

in

eac

h b

od

y p

arag

rap

h, e

xam

ple

s an

d e

vid

ence

su

pp

ort

ing

th

e p

arag

rap

h’s

co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

tra

nsi

tio

ns

bet

wee

n y

ou

r id

eas

a c

on

clu

din

g p

arag

rap

h o

r th

ou

gh

t

112

En

gli

sh I

I EO

C W

riti

ng

■ C

om

po

siti

on

Wri

te y

ou

r es

say

in t

he

bo

x b

elo

w. D

o n

ot

add

lin

es in

sid

e th

e b

ox

or

wri

te o

uts

ide

the

bo

x.

Ch

eck

to m

ake

sure

yo

ur

essa

y h

as a

cle

ar t

hes

is s

tate

men

t i

n e

ach

bo

dy

par

agra

ph

, a c

on

tro

llin

g id

ea t

hat

su

pp

ort

s th

e th

esis

in

eac

h b

od

y p

arag

rap

h, e

xam

ple

s an

d e

vid

ence

su

pp

ort

ing

th

e p

arag

rap

h’s

co

ntr

olli

ng

idea

tra

nsi

tio

ns

bet

wee

n y

ou

r id

eas

a c

on

clu

din

g p

arag

rap

h o

r th

ou

gh

t

English II EOC Writing ■ Composition © Sirius Education Solutions112

Exam

ple

of a

3–4

poi

nt e

ssay

:

Try,

try a

gain

. My g

ymna

stics

coac

h us

ed to

say t

his d

urin

g ev

ery l

esso

n, a

nd h

er

word

s ann

oyed

me.

How

ever

, I ca

me

to u

nder

stand

that

the

only

way I

wou

ld d

o a

back

walk

over

was

to p

ract

ice, w

hich

mea

nt fa

lling

hund

reds

of t

imes

first

. Fail

ure

and

succ

ess a

re lik

e a

seed

and

a p

lant.

Failu

re is

the

start

on th

e pa

th to

succ

ess,

and

you

can’

t hav

e on

e w

ithou

t the

oth

er.

Failu

re b

uild

s the

kin

d of

char

acte

r tha

t mak

es p

eopl

e su

cces

sful.

Anyo

ne w

ho h

as

aimed

for a

goa

l and

miss

ed k

now

s how

har

d it

is to

get

up

and

try a

gain

. Doi

ng th

at

work

to tr

y aga

in m

akes

peo

ple

resil

ient,

patie

nt, a

nd h

umbl

e. T

hese

are

valu

able

traits

to h

ave

in lif

e.

Succ

ess m

eans

mor

e w

hen

you

have

to w

ork

hard

for i

t. So

me

peop

le ge

t luc

ky

and

expe

rienc

e su

cces

s with

out h

avin

g to

fail fi

rst, b

ut th

is kin

d of

succ

ess w

on’t

last.

As so

on a

s tha

t per

son

tries

som

ethi

ng n

ew, t

hey w

ill ha

ve to

lear

n to

han

dle

failu

re.

Opra

h W

infre

y, fo

r exa

mpl

e, g

rew

up

poor

. She

had

to w

ork

hard

to e

arn

her o

wn

show

. If s

ucce

ss h

ad b

een

hand

ed to

her

, she

mig

ht n

ot h

ave

had

the

char

acte

r to

mak

e it

last.

In th

e fo

ur m

onth

s I sp

ent l

earn

ing

to d

o a

back

walk

over

, my m

ind

and

body

gr

ew st

rong

er. I

celeb

rate

d w

hen

I mas

tere

d th

at m

ove,

but

was

the

easy

par

t. Th

e m

any f

ailed

tries

bef

ore

I suc

ceed

ed a

re w

hat m

ade

me

a be

tter p

erso

n.

Ratio

nale

: Thi

s ess

ay b

egin

s with

a p

erso

nal a

necd

ote

that

sets

up

the

thes

is. T

he th

esis

pres

ents

a

clear

arg

umen

t tha

t dire

ctly

addr

esse

s the

pro

mpt

. The

main

idea

s of b

oth

supp

ortin

g pa

ragr

aphs

dire

ctly

supp

ort t

he th

esis.

The

aut

hor u

ses l

ogic

and

an e

xam

ple

as e

viden

ce. T

he co

nclu

sion

retu

rns t

o th

e pe

rson

al an

ecdo

te in

ord

er to

illus

trate

the

thes

is an

d ta

ke th

e ar

gum

ent a

step

beyo

nd th

e in

itial

claim

.

Exa

mpl

e of

a 1

–2 p

oint

ess

ay:

Failu

re is

like

a pl

ant s

eed.

It w

on’t

grow

with

out w

ater

. I le

arne

d all

abo

ut fa

ilure

w

hen

I cou

ldn’

t do

stuff

in g

ymna

stics

. My c

oach

kept

tellin

g m

e to

try,

but t

hat j

ust

anno

yed

me.

Failu

re g

ives y

ou g

ood

stuff

thou

gh. Y

ou h

ave

to le

arn

to b

e to

ugh

whe

n yo

u fa

il all

the

time.

I ke

pt fa

lling

on m

y hea

d do

ing

back

walk

over

s. I c

ried

som

e, b

ut th

en I

got b

ack

up a

nd tr

ied a

gain

. I th

ink

bein

g ba

d at

gym

nasti

cs m

ade

me

patie

nt.

If I d

idn’

t wor

k so

har

d at

gym

nasti

cs, I

wou

ldn’

t app

recia

te it

whe

n I l

earn

ed a

ne

w m

ove.

Opr

ah is

reall

y suc

cess

ful,

for e

xam

ple,

but

she

grew

up

poor

. She

had

to

work

har

d to

ear

n he

r ow

n sh

ow. L

ike I

work

in g

ymna

stics

. She

has

lots

of h

ouse

s no

w. S

he is

the

mos

t suc

cess

ful p

erso

n I c

an th

ink

of.

I fina

lly d

id a

bac

k wa

lkove

r. On

ce I

got i

t dow

n, it

was

no

big

deal.

The

y are

eas

y to

do

now,

but

I su

re w

as fr

ustra

ted

whe

n I w

as le

arni

ng th

em.

Ratio

nale

: The

ope

ning

sent

ence

s give

the

impr

essio

n th

at th

e es

say i

s abo

ut fo

ster

ing

failu

re.

The

purp

ose

of th

e pe

rson

al an

ecdo

te is

unc

lear

, and

ther

e is

no th

esis

in th

e fir

st p

arag

raph

. The

main

idea

s of t

he su

ppor

ting

para

grap

hs a

re u

ncle

ar. T

he a

utho

r’s to

ne is

loos

e an

d co

nver

satio

nal.

Opr

ah is

use

d as

an

exam

ple,

but

the

poin

t of t

he e

xam

ple

is no

t app

aren

t. Th

e co

nclu

sion

offe

rs

no co

nnec

tion

betw

een

succ

ess a

nd fa

ilure

. Wor

d ch

oice

and

tone

give

this

essa

y a ra

mbl

ing

feel

ing

that

lack

s pur

pose

.


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