GSP’s Wellness Newsletter

Spring 2015 S THE CHILL Fourth Edition

Gender is all around us. There are words that are associated with being a boy and others that are associated with being a girl. There are clothes that boys are expected to wear, and clothes that girls are expected to. There are sports that are considered “boys” sports and sports that are considered “girls” sports. Gender and Gender Roles affect our body image and can have a significant impact on our Self-Esteem. In this spring edition of The Chill we will explore how these expectations and roles influence our Gender Identity, Body Image, and self-esteem and how this identity can change throughout our lifetime.

ïGender & Self-Esteemï

Gender Gender Roles

Self-Esteem

Body Image

!Gender Identity Define Gender and explore the ways our society influences our Gender Identity, roles, and expectations.

p. 3

p. 7 ùWARNING Signs that you or someone you know

may have a dangerous body image and tips on how to improve it!

JBuilding Self-Esteem

p. 8 Identify your personal strengths and build a healthy self-esteem!

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What is Gender?

Gender is a combination of all the above components. It is defined and evaluated all around us. Our race, culture, age, ability and even our personalities can affect how we think about our own gender. “Gender” refers to what society deems and constructs to be appropriate for people of different sexes, whether it is through clothing, behavior or gender roles. For example, in our society, wearing makeup and cleaning are considered more appropriate for girls, while playing certain sports and videogames are considered more appropriate for boys. But none of these activities are truly restricted to a single gender. A person who is biologically male may enjoy doing activities that might be called “feminine.” This shows how sex—a person’s biological and physical characteristics—can be different from gender.

Is gender just a matter of being male or female? Is gender only about the

way you look and dress? Or is it also about how you see yourself and how

that affects you?

Gender in Social Systems

• The quality of being patriarchal: a patriarchal social system

• A social system in which males hold primary power, predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, and social privilege over women and children

Patriarchalism

• The doctrine advocating social, political and all other rights of women equal to those of men

• An Organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

Feminism

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There are many different types of gender identities. It can be hard to decide where you fit, especially if you feel like your gender and sex don’t match. This can be difficult and uncomfortable when you are a teenager and your body is growing and changing. You may already know and be comfortable with your gender or, like many people, you may be unsure. Lots of People are unsure about their gender identity. Many people need time and may explore different genders throughout their teen year and even during their entire life. Having feelings about your gender that are different from what you see on TV, in movies or in books doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It means that you are thinking about your gender and working out what feels right for you. You are in the process of forming your gender identity!

Defining Gender on your own terms.

Understanding Your Own Gender Identity

Your sex is based on biological characteristics used to label people as male or female such as X and Y chromosomes, internal and external sex organs (ex. Testicles or ovaries), hormonal levels and things like hair growth and breast development. A lot of people think the only sexes are male or female. This isn’t true! Some people are born intersex, which is a general term for a person who is born with biological characteristics that don’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.

Biological Sex or Sexual Identity

Your gender is how you identify or present yourself, for example as a boy or man, or as a girl or woman. Gender isn’t about whether you were born with a penis or vagina, but how you feel about yourself.

Gender

Your sexual orientation is based on your feelings, attractions, and desires. People commonly define their orientation using terms such as: Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Queer, etc.

Sexual Orientation

What is…

How do I know what my Gender Identity is?

The only person who can define your identity is YOU! By reflecting honestly you can begin to understand what works

for you when defining your gender.

Ask yourself this: What gender do I feel most comfortable identifying myself as?

Gender Roles Societal and behavioral expectations that are considered appropriate ways for men and women to act and look like in society. These expectations can often lead to gender stereotypes that can cause unequal an unfair treatment.

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Gender Roles and Expectations

Maecenas purus

õA Gender Role is a set of social and behavioral norms that, within in a specific culture, are widely considered to be socially appropriate for individuals of a specific sex. The perception of gender roles includes attitudes, actions, and personality traits associated with a particular gender within that culture.

õGender roles are cultural and personal. They determine how males and females should think, speak, dress, and interact within society. Learning plays a role in this process of shaping how we perceive our reality and how we act in it.

õGender roles are expectations of how a person should act, dress, and talk based on our sex. The majority of people conform to those roles very early on, but sometimes the line blurs between femininity and masculinity. Who’s to say that just because you are male you have to act manly and if you are female you must be girly? The media, for one. õIt’s obvious that there is no clear, solid line between masculinity and femininity, but not for the media. It likes to show men who are strong, athletic, and independent. They have commercials for men that are rather neutral in emotion, or with fast-paced action. Most of what the media says about women is that they are nice, pretty, delicate, and they wear their emotions on their sleeves.

õAs we grow older, both sexes endure an incredible amount of pressure from the media to fit into their gender roles. We can’t stop the media from pressuring our everyday lives. That’s why we need to demonstrate that there are other “alternate” ways of expressing ourselves. This should start at home and work its way to the media. We need to be open! We shouldn’t suppress other’s personalities from coming out. Diversity is what makes life great!

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Stereotypes are commonly held beliefs, assumptions, or oversimplifications about groups or types of people. We all learn stereotypes about race, gender, class, religion, ethnicity, and age

from the media, our peers, and families.

Gender Stereotyping is defined as overgeneralization of characteristics, differences and attributes of a certain group based on their gender. Gender stereotypes create a widely accepted judgment or bias about certain characteristics or traits that apply to each gender. Gender stereotypes are dangerous because they might create unequal or unfair treatments to a certain person who chooses to defy people’s assumptions about his/her gender. When gender inequality occurs on the background of gender stereotyping, this is called sexism. The first step in overcoming stereotypical thinking is to be aware of the stereotypes people hold…

Males may believe that to be masculine they should:

v Be in control and appear unemotional v Be the dominant partner in a relationship v Put pressure or force on their sexual

partners v Become sexually active at an early age

and have many partners v Work in careers that are mechanical or

analytical v Assume responsibility as the “breadwinner.” v Achieve status by earning lots of money v Take risks to prove their manhood v Resolve conflicts with violence v Avoid traditionally female work in the arts

or human services

Females may believe that to be feminine they should:

v Be emotionally sensitive and vulnerable v Submit to the wishes and demands of a

sexual partner v Have children, regardless of personal wishes v Meet the needs of others before their own v Choose careers in the “helping” professions v Be physically attractive, by someone else's

standards v Tolerate sexually harassing behavior without

complaint v Assume responsibility for sexual assault or

rape v Avoid nontraditional careers in math or the

sciences

The bottom line is: Stereotypes are destructive because they limit our potential!

Yet how may guys and girls do we know that try hard to act like the stereotype, without even a second thought? What damage do we do to ourselves and others?

Boys are not born violent, or to have unhealthy attitudes towards women. Girls aren’t born drama queens, or less capable than men. We learn these attitudes and behaviors through the stereotypes of what society thinks it means to “Act Like a Man” or “Act Like a Women”. This is not to say its wrong for guys to like sports or girls to enjoy cooking—the problem is that we are told that we must perform these roles in order to fit in. It restricts men from participating in “women’s work” and restricts women from choosing roles that are traditionally “male”. This takes away from our personal choices in determining our own interest and skills. We must free ourselves from unrealistic ideals view people as unique individuals to help challenge stereotypes!

Stereotypes, whether supported by evidence or not, make it difficult to

see people as individuals!

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Mainstream perceptions of Beauty and Gender role stereotypes, for example, exist solely because society as a whole chooses to accept them, BUT the media endorses them.

In everything from advertising, television programming, newspaper and magazines, to comic books, popular music, film and video games, women and girls are more likely to be shown: in the home, performing domestic chores such as laundry or cooking; as sex objects who exist primarily to service men; as victims who can't protect themselves and are the natural recipients of beatings, harassment, sexual assault and murder. Magazine Ads illustrate big breasts, small features, and a skinny frame as

feminine beauty. Female characters in television and film are side-lined, sexualized, underemployed and rarely in shown as managers or business executives. These depictions send the message that passiveness and subordination, rather than self-assertion and leadership, are expected and desirable in women.

Men and boys are also stereotyped by the media: From GI Joe to Rambo, masculinity is often

associated with machismo, independence, competition, strong and large muscles, emotional detachment, aggression and violence. TV and music videos depict men as “players” and “womanizers” or having little to no respect for women. Despite the fact that men have considerably more economic and political power in society than women, these trends - although different from those which affect women and girls - are very damaging to boys. Furthermore, images aimed at kids and teens are particularly polarized in the way they portray girls and boys. In advertising, for instance, girls are shown as being endlessly preoccupied by their appearance, and fascinated primarily by dolls and jewelry, while boys are encouraged to play sports and become engrossed by war play and technology. These images shape the ideas that little girls and boys have about who they should be and what they can achieve.

There's nothing wrong with accepting gender roles or expectations of beauty. The problem with these stereotypes is that they can cross a line and become oppressive. If a doctor can cure the sick, what does gender matter? If a guy or girl loves fashion, why should their body measurements keep them from modeling down a runway? If a teacher can educate a student, who are we to deny the pupil the right to learn, solely on the grounds of the sex of his or her teacher? If a man wants to cry, let him cry-- Men feel just as women do, and women are just as strong. EVERYONE DEFINES BEAUTY. Choosing whether or not to follow society’s expectations should be a personal choice, not something that you feel society or tradition is forcing you to do. The best advice that can be given is to make sure, above all else, that you are fulfilling a role you want to be fulfilling or representing something you decide to represent, regardless of where it fits in society's set of theoretical constructs.

In a world where

Media plays a large role in creating social norms, because various forms of media are present almost everywhere! From magazine ads to the commercials we see on TV, our world is flooded with images of men and women socially designed to appeal to the masses’ standard of gender roles and beauty, but who should really define the true beauty of our identities?

Just Because I am… Just because I am big-- doesn’t mean I don’t care for people, doesn’t mean I don’t try hard enough to reach my goals, doesn’t mean I have a lot of

friends—I am a person who thinks of others. Just because I’m African American—doesn’t mean I have short hair, doesn’t mean I talk a lot, doesn’t mean I hate other cultures—I am an accepting

person. Just because I am quite—doesn’t mean I cant stand up for myself, doesn’t mean I am sneaky and steal, doesn’t mean I can get my feelings hurt easily—I

am just a happy person. Just because I can get a little crazy, doesn’t mean I

am stupid, doesn’t mean I can’t do anything for myself, doesn’t mean I can’t think—I am a clever

person. -Anonymous, 8th grade Girls Group

The Media Defines your Identity.

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Body Image

Body image is defined by how you perceive your appearance when you look in the mirror AND how you feel about your body.

People with negative body image see themselves as a distorted image of who they really are. They feel awkward, uncomfortable, ashamed and self-conscious. They are more

likely to develop an eating disorder, depression and low self-esteem. People with positive body image see themselves as

they truly are. They appreciate their natural body and value its uniqueness. People with positive body image also feel confident

and comfortable and have high self-esteem.

|Steps to a Positive Body Image

uAppreciate all that your body can do.

Everyday your body carries you closer to your dreams. Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you –

running, dancing, breathing, laughing, etc.

vKeep a top-� � list of things you like about yourself

– things that are not related to how much you weigh or what you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become

aware of more things to like about you.

wRemind yourself that “true beauty” is within.

When you feel good about yourself & who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you look like a supermodel. Beauty is

a state of mind, not a state of your body.

xLook at yourself as a whole person. When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. See yourself as you want

others to see you!

yShut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not

“right” or that you are a “bad” person.

You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive ones. The next time you start to tear yourself down, build

yourself back up with quick affirmations that work for you. |Become a critical viewer of social

& media messages. Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself or your body. Protest these messages: write a letter to the advertiser or talk back to the image or

message.

"WARNING# Some signs that you or

someone you know might have body image issues:

$ Unhealthy eating habits

Obsession with body weight and exercise

Continually criticizing and self-bullying

Constantly comparing body to others

80% of girls and young women are concerned

about their body. 75% wish they were

thinner.

1 in 5 young men say body image is their #1 concern.

1/3 of guys want to be thinner, 1/3 want bigger muscles.

Where does Self-Esteem come from? Different things make you feel good or bad about yourself. You might feel good after doing well on a test or scoring the winning point in a game, for example. But getting a low grade or missing a shot can make you feel bad and pretty low. So can things like being ignored by a friend or even having a bad hair day. Learning how to handle your ups and downs is one way to keep your self-esteem “up”

Appreciate your strengths! Not everyone is good at the same things. We can’t all be geniuses or look like models or be sports stars. But we’re all valuable in our own way. We each have things that we’re good at. Write down 3 of your strengths.

1. _____________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________ Cut this out and keep it in your wallet, tape it to your mirror, or put it in your school binder. Read it whenever you need a lift!

"

How does Self-Esteem affect your

life? Your self-esteem

can affect how you feel, how you

relate to other people, how you

deal with challenges and

how relaxed and safe you feel in your daily life. Here are a few

examples:

The way you feel. In order to be happy you

need to like yourself. If you have a low-self-esteem or if

you’re constantly putting yourself down, you’re more

likely to feel depressed, anxious or unhappy than

someone who has a positive view of him or her self.

Your willingness to move out of your comfort zone.

Trying new things and moving out of your comfort zone every now

and then is important for growing and developing as a person. Low self-esteem might hold you back from new experiences because

you may become overly concerned with the possibility of

failure or looking stupid.

Your Relationships. Low self-esteem can influence the way

you interact with other people. For instance, you might find yourself not

saying what you think, feel or want and doing things you don’t want to do. You

might always agree with others and offer to do things for them in order to “earn “ their friendship. Being treated badly by

other people can reinforce the belief that you aren’t good enough and lower your

self-esteem even more.

How relaxed & Comfortable you feel in the world.

When your self-esteem is low, it can be difficult to feel relaxed and comfortable in

everyday situations. For instance, if you have low self-esteem, you might feel awkward and self-conscious in many situations. You might worry too much

about what others think of you, and you might be constantly on the lookout for

signs that people don’t like you.

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Self-Esteem

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!Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so used to focusing on your problems that they're all you see? Next time you catch yourself dwelling on problems or complaints about yourself or your day, find something positive to counter it. Each day, write down three good things about yourself, and/or three things that went well that day because of your action or effort.

!Aim for effort rather than perfection. Some people get held back by their own pressure to be perfect. They lose out because they don't try. If you think, "I won't try out for the team because I probably won't make it," you will always be the person sitting on the side lines instead of getting in the game.

!View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes. Everyone does. They're part of learning. Instead of thinking, "I always mess up" remind yourself that it's not about always, just this specific situation. What can you do differently next time?

!Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior. Do you often compare yourself with others and come up feeling less accomplished or less talented? Notice what you're thinking. Something like: "She's so much better than I am. I'm no good at basketball. I should just stop playing" leads to feeling inferior, not to feeling good about your self.

!Remind yourself that everyone excels at different things. Focus on what you do well, and cheer on others for their success. Thinking more like this: "She's a great basketball player — but the truth is, I'm a better musician than athlete. Still, I'll keep playing because I enjoy it." helps you accept yourself and make the best of the situation.

!Try new things, and give yourself credit. Experiment with different activities and explore your talents. Take pride in your new skills & think about the good results. For example: I signed up for track and found out I'm pretty fast! These positive thoughts become good opinions of your self, and add up to self-esteem.

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!Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change (like getting to a healthy weight), start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), work on accepting it. Obsessing about our "flaws" can really skew your opinion of yourself and bring down your self-esteem. Most of the time, other people don't even notice these things!

!Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan, and keep track of your progress. Train your inner voice to remind you of what you are accomplishing.

!Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them. If someone disagrees, it's not a reflection on your worth or your intelligence. That person just sees things differently from you.

!Accept compliments. When self-esteem is low, it's easy to overlook the good things people say about us. We don't believe it when someone says a nice thing. Instead, we think, "...yeah, but I'm not all that great..." and we brush off the compliment. Instead, let your self absorb a compliment, appreciate it, and take it seriously. Give sincere compliments, too.

!Make a contribution. Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up your neighborhood, or volunteer your time in some other way. When you can see that what you do makes a difference, it builds your positive opinion of yourself, and makes you feel good. That's self-esteem.

!Relax and have fun. Do you ever think stuff like "I'd have more friends if I were more attractive"? Thoughts like these can set you on a path to low self-esteem because they focus on what's not perfect instead of making the best of what is. Spend time with the people you care about, do the things you love, and focus on what's good. That helps you feel good about yourself, just as you are.

Self-esteem is made up of the thoughts, feelings, and opinions we have about ourselves. That means self-esteem isn't fixed. It can change, depending on the way we think. Over time, habits of negative thinking about ourselves can lower self-esteem. Sometimes, people don't even realize that they're thinking so negatively about themselves. But once you're aware of it, and know that the way you think is up to you, you can begin to change the way you think. And changing the way you think about yourself changes the way you feel about yourself.

How to Build a Healthy Self Esteem

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v What qualities are important for a man to have? What qualities are important in a woman?

v What does being a young man or a young woman mean to you?

v Who is an Important Female or Male figure in your life? How do they represent being a man or a woman?

Aye Bruh!

Girls are so dramatic.

There is always something

up with my group of

friends. Why do girls love

drama?

-From, Save the Drama for your

Mama

Dear Save the Drama for your Mama, A lot of changes occur in a short period of time during your tween and teen years. For the most part, girls don’t

mean to be dramatic and drama (such as instigating fights, spreading rumors, friendship feuds) is usually unintentional. The impulse girls have to create drama

stems from several sources: wanting a feeling of power, fear of confrontation or not knowing how to honestly and

safely express anger, or taking something super-personally. But girls aren’t the only ones to cause and experience drama. Guys, and people of all ages for that matter, are just as likely to be a part of drama at some

point in life. The best way to deal with friendship drama is to “avoid fueling the fire”. Stop and THINK before you

speak. Instead, channel your energy into being a good friend yourself!

Before you speak, THINK: “Is what I’m about to say…” True Honest Important Necessary Kind . . . .??”

Make

someone

smile

today!

Free Compliments

For You or a Friend.