streettalkamericasept14

Free September 2014 ®

Holmes, Jackson & Washington County Football Schedules on Pg. 20-21

Holmes County High School Varsity Cheerleaders

Street Talk America

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Good Luck to all the local Football teams!

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Eyeliner, Brows or Lipliner $175Full Lips w/Liner $275

By Elsie

2/ September 2014 Street Talk America

Angus BeefJumbo Shrimp

Delicious Southern BuffetFull Menu Available

Eddie & Jo Davis / LaNita SmithThe Oak Station Shopping Center

Highway 90 E. • Marianna, FL 32446(850) 526-1114

The OaksRestaurant

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Delicious Southern BuffetFull Menu Available

Tuesday Night: Seafood Buffet Thursday Night: Prime Rib

5:00pm-7:30pmEddie & Jo Davis / LaNita Smith

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(850) 526-1114

One winner will be drawn at random on 9/19/14. Mail findings to P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462 or email to [email protected]. Remember to

include your name and phone number.

7 footballs like this one!

Fumbled Football FindWe’ve fumbled 7 footballs in this month’s issue of

Street Talk America. Find all 7 for a chance

to win dinner for two at The Oaks Restaurant.

My mother hates sports, so after being forced to go to a football game with her grandchildren, this was her conclusion.

Football consists of 22 men on the field desperately in need of a rest, and 40,000 in the stands desperately in need of exercise.

306 West Brock Avenue • Bonifay850-547-9289

Mrs Frances Harcus was born on March 25,1940 and grew up in Bonifay with her three brothers and sister. She graduated from Holmes County High School and has been a member of Gully Springs Baptist Church all her

Resident of the Month Mrs. Frances Harcus

The residents of BNRC enjoyed the Dancing Divas!

Teachers from Bonifay Elementary had a great time at the Take-a-Tote, Take-a-Tour Day.

Residents loved spending time at The Silver Door painting and grilling out.

life. Mrs. Harcus married her husband, Alvin, in 1960 and they had four children. She now has three grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. Mrs. Harcus has always served God. She is a prayer warrior, always has been and always will be.

We are now rated a 4 STAR Facility!

Street Talk America September 2014 /3

®Street Talk America

Judy JenkinsH.L. Brown Angie Knight BN HeardRobert E. LaFavre

Crossroads Publishing LLC.P.O. Box 170 • Vernon, FL 32462 • (850)-596-8685

Contributing Writers:Contributing Artist: Marvin Jenkins

Circulation & Distribution: 12,000 copies of STA are printed each month. STA is free and available at high traffic business locations in Washington, Holmes and Jackson counties. Copies are also available by subscription.

Publisher: Kelley Ward, [email protected]: Karen Mashburn and Edsol Jenkins Sales Representative: Winfred ‘Wimpy’ Carnley

Sherri Evans Charles HinsonJudy ReupkeTim Shumaker Michael Kennedy ARNP

Street Talk America® is an outreach ministry devoted to uplift and entertain the reader. Any resemblance contained within this publication to some one or some thing is purely coincidental and not to bring harm or insult to anyone. Information, stories, helpful hints, jokes, studies and all other miscellaneous writings, drawings, and pictures are published without malice, but with the intent to entertain, inspire or teach; not to cause disillusionment or confusion to anyone; person, party affiliation, company, denomination or other named or unnamed entity. The writings contained within Street Talk do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or editor.

Street Talk America® is not the author of many of the jokes contained herein and claims no copyright privileges to those that we didn’t author unless noted. The jokes contained herein are not known to be copyrighted and are believed to be part of the public domain. Every effort is made not to use copyrighted material without the author’s consent. To report an improper use of a copyrighted joke please contact Crossroads Publishing, LLC., and we will take the appropriate steps.

Washington, Holmes & Jackson Countieswww.streettalkamerica.com

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Two men were stranded on an island. One man just sat down under a tree and did nothing. The other man looked all over the island. When he came back, he said, “There is nothing here -- no food, no shelter, no nothing. We’re going to die.” The first man said, “I make $12,000 a week,” and continued to sit. The other man again looked all over the island and came back dejected. “We’re going to die,” he said. The first one again replied, “I make $12,000 per week,” and he sat. The other man took one more look all over, returned, and said, “There’s no way we will ever get off this island. We’re going to die.” Once again the first man replied, “I make $12,000 per week, and I tithe. My pastor will find me.”

Waiting for Rescue

Jon GouldBrad SasserRobert Birge

An Alabama fan and a Tennessee fan, fighting side-by-side, were captured during World War II and sen-tenced to die by firing squad. The enemy commander asked the Tennessee fan if he had any last requests. The Tennessean said, “I want to hear Rocky Top one last time.” The Bama fan was then asked if he had any last requests. “Yes, shoot me first!”

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We are quickly approaching one of my favorite times of the year. Some might say that I am a typical man who looks forward to the fifteen week span called football season. Others might say I’m a grown man who wishes he could go back one more time and play a child’s game. To tell you the truth, both of these observations are right. In the next few paragraphs I hope that I can adequately capture just a few of the reasons I love football, particularly high school football, and I hope I can take us all for a little walk down memory lane as I list a few reasons I love this game. I love parents who are violently loyal to the team and consider all 45 boys on the team “their” children. I love mothers who take off work early to make sure the team has a proper meal before they play. I especially love grandparents who make four hour road trips because they’ve never missed a game. I love coaches who can be at one time both your best friend and your worst enemy. I love a coach who calls a hook- and -ladder with 6 seconds left to win the game. I love coaches who name their plays strange things like possum and possum kill and refer to a post route as running a potato. I love the coach whose quarterback has a 100% completion percentage because he only called three passing plays all year. I also love the coach whose quarterback has a 27%

By Brad SasserFor the Love of Football

completion percentage because he spread the field and threw it all over the place regardless of the talent on the team. I love concession stands and all of the parents and teachers who give up a quarter or two of the game in order to keep them running. I love boiled peanuts. I love half-priced hamburgers and hotdogs with three minutes left in the fourth quarter. I love the little kids who play tackle football behind the stands and the dads who keep a watchful eye on them. I love those little plastic footballs the cheerleaders throw out. I love that the whole family, from youngest to oldest, has something fun to do at a game. I love the cheerleaders who give it their all no matter what the score. I love the fact that they never quit cheering even if the temperature is 33 degrees and it’s raining. I love when they are still cheering for the team even if the fans are leaving. I love a big hit. I love when a quarterback rolls out the wrong way and somehow manages to score and becomes a hero. I love when a team starts every game of the season off with the same play no matter what. I love when second team players score touchdowns


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3 M’s, 3 B’s, 3 R’s, and 3 D’s I’m certain that you know them

but just to help you out..... 3 M company is

Minnesota Manufacturing & Mining. The 3 B’s in music are...

Bach, Beethoven, & Brahms. And of course, we all went to school to learn

the 3 R’s: Read’n, ‘Riting, & ‘Rithmatic. Now about the three D’s...

The other day I heard a newscaster referring to the morality of American society as:

Dumbing Deviance Down. I have a solution to that problem.

Let’s just embark upon having “Days of Deepening Devotion”

toward God and His Son Jesus.

A southern football player was visiting a relative in Boston during spring break. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, “Where do y’all go ta’ school?” The co-ed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but an-swered his question anyway. “Yale,” she replied. The student took a big, deep breath and shouted, “WHERE DO Y’ALL GO TA’ SCHOOL!?”

Southern Yell

and when an 8th grader makes his first tackle. I love when a defense is committed to a 4-4 scheme. I love it when a back has 6 carries for 345 yards and 6 touchdowns. I love when defensive tackles check the paper Saturday morning to see if they got mentioned for having 9 tackles and a sack. I love watching the news on Friday nights to check the scores. I know that football was not invented in the south; however, I do believe it was perfected here and I love every minute of it. So here’s to every old man who reads this fondly, and every young man getting ready for the season. Play like a champion today. See you at the game!

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame

on someone else.


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The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. “John,” the new guy replied. The man-ager scowled, “Look...I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only...Smith, Jones, Baker...that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we have that straight, what is your last name?” The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.” “Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is......”

Familiarity

Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the Priest that he had acted in an unsportsmanlike manner at a recent football game. “I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents.” “Ahhh, that’s a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin’,” the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across the sleeve of his coat. “That’s not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my opponents.” “Saints preserve us!” the priest said, making another chalk mark. “There’s more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the other team’s players in the knee.” “Oh, goodness me!” the priest wailed, making two more chalk marks on his sleeve. “Who in the world were we playin’ when you did these awful things?” “Southern Methodist.” “Ah, well,” said the priest, wiping his sleeve, “Boys will be boys.”

Confession I don’t suffer from insanity;

I enjoy every minute of it.

A man owned a small farm and the Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying fair wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him.“I want a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them.” “All right,” said the farmer. “I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She’s been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board.” “Anybody else?” asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. “Yeah,” the farmer said. “This guy is none too bright. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him chewing tobacco.” “Aha!” the agent roared. “I want to talk to that man!” “Speaking,” said the farmer.

Fair Wages

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.


www.SouthwesternProduce.com

Vegetable Pick Up Day - Sept. 20thFor your convenience, you have two locations to choose from for pickup. Orders must

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Most items are in 8 lb. bags unless otherwise noted and have been shelled, blanched and frozen.

VEGETABLESFordhooks $27 Baby Butter Beans $16 Green Beans $16 Pole Beans $16 Speckled Butter Beans $16 Blackeye Peas $16 Butter Peas $16Crowder Peas $16 Green Peas $16 Pinkeye Peas $16 Sugar Snap Peas $20 Zipper Peas $16Cream White Corn 4# $10 Cream Yellow Corn 4# $10

White Corn $16 Yellow Corn $16 Collard Greens $16 Mustard Greens $16 Turnip Greens $16 Spinach $16 Cut Okra $16 Breaded Okra $16 Whole Okra $16 Sliced Yellow Squash $16 Sliced Zucchini $16Broccoli $16 Cauliflower $16 Brussel Sprouts $16 Mixed Vegetables $16

Soup Blend $16 Baby Carrots $16Sweet Potato Chunks $16 FRUITSBlueberries 5# $20 Blackberries 5# $20 Raspberries 5# $20Mango Chunks 5# $20 Pineapple Chunks 5# $20Peaches $20 Whole Strawberries 5# $20 Fruit Medley 5# $20Dark Sweet Cherries 5# $22Green Peanuts $20

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Aunt Judy’s KitchenSouthern Recipes from

“The Old House” By: Judy Jenkins

Three Chicks Cleaning

Carrie Brown, [email protected]

1216 Hwy 179 Bonifay, Fl 32425

Residential & Commercial

(850)768-0022 (850)956-2408 D&S

Jewelry&Loan 850-547-6483 3005-A Main Street Vernon, FL 32462

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Chicken Delight

1 large fryer – cut up1 ¼ cup dry rice1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup1 can Cream of Celery Soup1 can Cream of Chicken SoupSalt & PepperSprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. In large bowl, mix soups with rice. Pour into large baking dish. Place chicken in soup mixture. Cover with foil and cook 1 ½ hours in 325º oven.

Baked Cauliflower

1 large cauliflower½ cup mayonnaise2 tbs dijon mustard¾ cup shredded cheddar cheeseRemove outer leaves and stalk of cauliflower. Leave head whole, wash cauliflower. Put head in large saucepan. Cover and cook in small amount of boiling water for 15-20 minutes or until tender; drain well. Place cauliflower in a baking pan. Mix mayo and mustard in small bowl; stir well. Spread mixture over cauliflower and sprinkle with cheese. Bake in 350º oven for 10 minutes or until cheese melts.

Lime Pie

1 can condensed milk1 cup fresh lime juice12 oz. Cool whipGraham Cracker crustFold milk into cool whip, adding juice slowly. Pour into graham cracker crust. Chill 3 hours.

Buffalo Chicken Dip

2 - 8 oz. Packages cream cheese – softened1 cup ranch dressing¾ cup hot sauce10 oz can chicken, drained1 ½ cups shredded cheddar cheeseBeat cream cheese, ranch and hot sauce; mix in chicken. Spread into greased pie pan. Bake in 350º oven for 15 minutes. Add cheese to top and bake an additional 10-15 minutes or until cheese is melted. Serve with Frito Scoops or Tostitos.


A Dental Appliance to Treat a Medical ConditionGo from this.... to this....

Dr. Minor practices Dental Sleep Medicine,

Oral Appliance therapy for Sleep Apnea and Snoring.

One in Five Americans are affected by Sleep Apnea. Dental Sleep Medicine is a painless alternative to open your airway and improve your symptoms.Sasha J. Minor, D.M.D. is a member of the American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine.

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Strawberry CakeBy: Marvell Rogers Taylor

(Made each year at the Rogers’ Reunion)

1 Duncan Hines white cake mix3 oz. Strawberry jello10 oz. Frozen strawberries – thawed1 cup wesson oil4 eggs¼ cup water3 tbs self rising flourSet aside ½ of strawberries for icing. Mix all ingre-dients adding one egg at a time. Stir in the other ½ of strawberries last. Pour into three greased round cake pans. Bake in 350º preheated oven for 20-25 minutes.

Icing1 box confectioner sugar – sifted1 stick butter – room tempRemaining ½ of strawberriesBlend together with electric mixer until well blended. Spread on top and in between each layer. Maria Andromidas-Owner

850-526-2366 or 850-482-3003

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Carol Hagin, Cell 850-557-0085

In a never-ending effort to attract the unchurched, some churches have considered translating their unfa-miliar terminology into familiar football phrases:Blocking: Talking endlessly to the pastor at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting.Coach: The children’s Christmas program director.Assistant Coach: Every mother who has a kid in the children’s Christmas program.Draft Choice: The decision to sit close to an air con-ditioning vent.Draw Play: What many children (and not a few adults) do with their bulletins during the service.End Zone: The pews.First Quarter: What most people put into the Sunday school offering so it looks like they are giving.Halftime: Usually during the offertory when at least 14 people decide they need to use the restroom.Holding: Passing on the offering place without putting in a cent.Quarterback Sneak: How the pastor gets from the pulpit to the rear door during the benediction. Rain Delay: BaptismRed Dog: Common strategy performed each Sunday

Football Church by those who “own” their own pew.Sudden Death: The penalty to the pastor who preach-es more than twenty minutes.Tackle: Asking that “new couple” to sing in the choir, work in the nursery, serve on a committee, join a Bible study, and teach the middle schoolers before they get away.Pass: When the new couple says no.Time-out: Refreshment time in the Fellowship Hall.Two Minute Warning: The pastor’s wife looking at her watch in full view of the pastor.Benchwarmer: Those who do not sing, teach, work, or do anything but sit.Backfield-in-Motion: Making a trip to the back (rest-room or water fountain) during the service.Staying in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.Instant Replay: The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.Sudden Death: What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime.”Trap: You’re called on to pray and are asleep.End Run: Getting out of church quick, without speak-ing to any guest or fellow member.Flex Defense: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.Halfback Option: The decision of 50% of the congre-gation not to return for the evening service.Blitz: The rush for the restaurants following the clos-ing prayer.

The Medical GalleryHome Medical Equipment

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A motorcycle cop was on patrol one bright sunny afternoon when he came upon a line of cars stopped at a light with horns blasting. He stopped behind the last car in line. Then he noticed the reason for the noise. The light directing that lane of traffic was green. He pulled out of line and stopped alongside of the first car in line to see what the problem was. The car was a big Cadillac driven by a blonde. He motioned her to roll down her window, which she promptly did. He then asked her why she was stopped when the light was green. She said, “Oh, because I’m on my way to my sister’s house, which is that way,” and she pointed to the right. The motorcycle cop said, “Well, go ahead! The light is green.” The blonde responded with, “Yes, I know, but the sign under the light says: ‘RIGHT TURN ON RED.’”

Traffic Jam

A man and his wife walked into a dentist office. The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in a terrible hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. Forget about the anesthetic; I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it! We have a 10:00 a.m. tee time at the best golf course in town, and it’s 9:30 already. I don’t have time to wait for the anes-thetic to work.” The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave man, asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.” So the dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?” The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, honey, and show him.”

No Numb

Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 11:2 NLT

Professional Satellite is now offering Virtually Unlimited Satellite Internet

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Professional Satellite is the only Exede dealer in the area that can offer virtually unlimited internet. They can also bundle Excede and Direct TV to save their customers money.

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Master PlannerBy: Dr. Charlie Hinson

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HORIZON HEALTH CARE

It was in the early 1980s. Having been in Crestview nearly 6 years, I had begun serving as Chaplain to the Florida Highway Patrol, the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office, and the Crest-

view City Police Department. Any time there was a serious accident in our area, I was expected to be there.The call came at 2:00 a.m., naturally. The story was that a family of Mexican itinerant farm workers had driven from down in Mexico, and were headed for the vegetable harvests in South Florida. They were driving a ‘should-have-been-retired’ cab-over motorhome, and pulling an en-closed trailer stuffed with their possessions. That was because there were 17 members of that one family in the motorhome. I will not use their names, for I have not asked permission. At any rate, on Interstate Ten, about two miles from the Crestview exit, everything went wrong. A wheel on the trailer froze up, and jerked the motorhome to one side. That caused it to roll, totally demolishing the vehicle. When I got to the scene, there wasn’t a piece of the vehicle longer

than four feet. Just debris, and bodies. Only three of the adult children in the family were killed. Several of the others sustained life-threatening injuries. They spoke no English. I was fluent in their language, so we got their wounded to local hospitals, held funerals and buried their dead in a local cemetery. We fed and took care of them all until they were able to return to Mexico. That’s where the story changes. You see, the elder patriarch of the family was a born-again Christian, and even while I preached the funerals, he and his wife sat on the front pew giving glory to God for the mercy He had shown them. In summary, I received a phone call from them about a year later. They felt such a debt of gratitude to God for sparing most of the family, they had decided to begin serving Him in ministry, and could I please come and help them get started. I did, they did, and God did! Marvelously! The city where they lived had a popula-tion of nearly 200,000, and we just laid claim to that city for God. I have gone back frequently to dedicate new Churches they and their family were raising all around the town. Today: I must tell you the city is encircled with 11 churches where the father and his sons and sons-in-law pastor a thriving testimony to the text: except a grain of corn fall into the ground and die.... (John12:24) One of the churches comfortably seats 3,000. Ain’t it strange how God’s Plan is beyond comprehension? And ain’t God good!!

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A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning; he felt that in this suit he could do business. As he was preening in front of the mirror, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets. To his surprise, he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, “Didn’t you tell me you were a banker?” The young man answered, “Yes, I did.”The tailor then said, “Whoever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?”

Suit for a Banker

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.” The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred dollars?” The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife, but this is my mother-in-law.” The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?”

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Dear Sherri,I need some advice. My hus-band is a born athlete. He

excelled in football, baseball and track in high school. He even went to college on athletic scholarships. To this day, he regularly does a strenuous workout sev-eral times a week. All of this stuff is good, but it has become a problem with our boys. My husband insists on them playing on every team that they can. When they do well, he demands even more performance from them. When they perform poorly, he rants at them from the fence. He badgers them about it all the way home, and for days afterward. My oldest son is very athletic, but his father’s obsession drains all of the fun out of the game for him. Our youngest boy takes after me. He is more interested in band, drama and art. His father constantly accuses him of not being manly or applying himself enough in sports. My husband is a wonderful man and a good father, but when it comes to sports, it almost seems like he has an ax to grind. He is so driven, that I am ashamed for people at the ball field to know we are married. He always acts like he has something to prove through his boys. What can I do? Mrs. Bad Sport

Dear Mrs. Bad Sport,With all you describe, I can imagine the beginning of football season (or any sport for that matter) is a time of stress for you and your family. Let me begin by saying you are not alone. Virtually every team has at least “one of those” parents in the stands. Since you indicate that, overall, he is a good father, I am sure that your kids know that their father loves and accepts them, but you are right to have concerns. A child’s self-concept is closely connected to how their parents respond to them. The messages that parents mirror back to their child, become a part of the child’s self-image, for better or worse. A child that is told they are kind, smart, capable and hard-working will believe that message and strive to live up to those expectations. Conversely, a child that is told that he is fat, stupid, lazy and untalented will believe that feedback as well. As parents, we have to work consis-tently and intentionally to ensure that we are speaking encouragement and life to our children, rather than defeat and destruction. Often as parents, we relate to our children through our own interests, past history, pet peeves, and pas-sions. It is possible that your husband is trying to connect with your sons in a way that is meaningful to him. If he is driven in his own life, perhaps he feels he benefitted from coaches that pushed him. It is possible that he sees potential in your sons, and is trying to pull it out of them. On the other hand, it is possible that he is not even aware of how he is coming across to the kids or to the community.What can you do to make the situation better? There are several action steps you can take:1- Praise your children consistently for positive char-acter traits, hard work, academic achievement, and teamwork. Encourage positive habits rather than ma-joring on innate talents and abilities.2- Remind your kids that their father loves them and

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The advice offered in Dear Sherri, is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. Use of the column is not intended to replace or substitute for any

professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical

help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.

Sherry Evans is a wife and mother of three boys. She is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God and an Associate Pastor at a local church. To read more from Sherri, visit her blog

‘When God Whispers Over Your Life’ @ sherrievans.blogspot.com.

wants what is best for them.3- Talk openly with your husband about your con-cerns. Choose an opportunity when you are enjoying time alone, and not in any type of strife. Tell him all the wonderful things that you see him do as a provider, protector, husband and father. Let him know he is genuinely appreciated. Ask him questions about why he approaches sports like he does and what he hopes to accomplish with his approach. Talk with him about your concerns for how the boys are perceiving his in-volvement. Be fair and non-threatening in the way you speak. Instead of saying, “You always act like a bully and a jerk at the ball field.” Say instead, “I know you are enthusiastic about sports, but sometimes I feel like you lose sight of the boys’ feelings when you criticize them in public.”4- Advocate for your kids. If they do not want to play a sport, stand up for them. 5- Try to add opportunities for them to spend time with their dad doing activities that are not as emotion-ally charged, such as boating, camping, or hiking. 6- Remind your kids the blessing it is to have a dad who comes out to support them and who wants to be involved in their lives.7- Pray about the situation. God can change a person’s

heart and mind in such a way that they think it is their own idea!8- Be aware of the line between coaching and abuse. Refuse to allow your children to be emotionally abused by anyone- even family! If it is escalating to an abusive tone, encourage family counseling, parenting classes, or some other intervention to turn the situation around for your family. I know this type of thing can be a major annoyance, but keep it in perspective. We are all flawed, we all make mistakes as parents, but if we love our kids and are trying to do right by them, they will feel that love. This is just one element of your lives together, so try to keep a balanced perspective. I sincerely hope that this helps you regain the antici-pation and joy you feel when you hear someone yell, “Play ball!”

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Tales by Gator Brown

Years ago when I was a teenager, the school days were long and I would sit in the classroom ‘wishing I was fishing’. Not being interested in my studies, my mind would drift downstream. The classroom might have had my body, but my mind was hooking a big bull red breast. My report card showed where my mind was. Many times I was embarrassed when I was called on to answer a question. How could I know the an-swer when I didn’t hear the question? Most teachers thought I was dull or just plain dumb. Things that I knew or was interested in wasn’t taught from books. I knew where and when the bass were bedding and to use small crawfish when the fish wouldn’t eat worms or crickets. Why didn’t they have classes on how to set gator lines or fish for the big sturgeons? Once, a teacher called on me and I didn’t hear be-cause in my mind I had a 10 ft. gator in my crosshairs. She shouted, “H.L.” (which stands for hard luck) and I returned to the classroom with all eyes on me. I re-sponded, “Yes ma’am, what do you want?” She said, “Would you please answer my question?” I looked at her and said, “Ma’am, I have no idea what the ques-tion was. I’m sorry, but my mind was elsewhere.” She

said, “Would you mind telling the class just where your mind was?” I began, “There’s a big gator down near the cut-off that everyone is trying to kill. While you were teaching I figured out how I could kill him.” I stopped for a minute and she said, “Go on.” “Well this old gator has lived a long time and he knows all the tricks, but I can outsmart him.” She stopped me there and said, “Now that you’re back with us, would you please refrain from leaving the classroom?” As hard as I tried, I struggled from drifting down-stream, the classroom just couldn’t compete. One day the English teacher asked a question and called on me to answer. The question was ‘What is mead, a drink that Shakespeare or Longfellow was drink-ing?’ I told her that was what we called moonshine and if she wanted me to, I would bring samples for the class to try. That didn’t go over well and she said that mead was more of a beer, not a whiskey. I shook my head and said, “I’m sure you would know.” She turned red. Wishing I was fishing is more than a wish or a thought, it is what you do when you’re not on the water. I suppose spring weather would be the worst time for me to attend school. When the dogwood trees are in full bloom and the water turns warm, I want to be in the swamp. Catfish swim around in the backwater hunting for anything to eat. The bus picked me up at the same time the fish started biting. There were many days I just couldn’t make myself climb aboard the yellow bus. If you missed too many days, then your grades would be cut. My grades were never too good to start with so when they were cut, all my report card showed was a D-. Somehow, I managed to finish school and graduate with low honors. All my class-mates seemed to have their minds set on what they wanted to accomplish and I didn’t have a clue. When school started back, everyone that wasn’t going to

Wishing I was Fishing

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college went to work. One morning I asked myself, ‘What was the craziest thing that I could do?’ The an-swer was join the Navy Frogmen. One year later, I was assigned to Under Water Demolition Team II. From that day on, life was never dull. Later, Gator

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A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. They found seats

in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game and as he was running onto

the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend,

“Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.”

His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest way I ever

heard of for a boy to propose to a girl,but, regardless of how you said it, I accept!”


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Noting it many times before, I love going to the Farmers’ Market, talking to folks, studying vegetables and get-ting my boiled peanuts. On this par-ticular Saturday morning, our weather was not so good – it was starting to rain and I needed to pick up the things that I could not live without on this particular day. To be specific, I wanted a patty pan squash, some green tomatoes and a couple of bags of boiled pea-nuts. As the rain started to drizzle down, I found three nice green tomatoes and one perfectly sized patty pan squash. Patty pan squash look a little like an inflated flower and they grill up real nice.

All I needed to pick up was my boiled peanuts. I wanted two bags, because it seems I never have enough once I get home with them. Breakfast was bearing on my mind. I was going to walk over to the coffee

A Shower in the Baptism Pool

house in town and have a concoction of stone ground grits with country ham and cheddar jack cheese mixed in them. They top this mixture with poached eggs. I’m not a very good egg poacher, but I do enjoy them – so I was looking forward to breakfast. These folks’ grits are good too; good grits are hard to find.

As I started toward my pea-nut farmer’s canopy to pick up my most desired purchase of the day, I noticed a fellow standing there talking (to my boiled peanut provider). It was raining; this fel-low was not buying anything. The

peanut farmer is there to sell and to keep his tractors running and

pay the light bill. I enjoy talking to folks as much as anyone, but I am not going to block a sale by standing there chewing the cud. Trying to be nice, I gave this fellow a minute; I was hoping he would move on. He did not. I was getting wet and I wanted my boiled peanuts and I wanted my poached eggs over real grits speckled with ham and cheese. So I made my move. The farmer knows me – he knows that I want to buy his boiled peanuts. He was being nice, pretending to listen to this cud chew-ing fellow. Where I live, it is easy to identify some folks. I know it is not nice to profile people, but sometimes it is necessary. There are people from here, there are people who moved here and there are many folks who move south here to retire (thinking they are in the real South). Most of these folks who retire to my area are from New York or New Jersey. If I had to bet on it and take your money, this fellow talking to my boiled peanut farmer was from New Jersey. I could tell – he didn’t even have to open his mouth. Again, I try to be nice to everyone and I honestly like meeting different types of folks. This fellow hadn’t done anything to me – yet…

The Farmers’ Market on a suny day.

Grits from Aromas in Williamsburg, VA.


Find more stories at www.cranksmytractor.comCranks My Tractor stories are published in

Street Talk America with the writer’s permission and in hopes of making you smile.

Not willing to wait and getting tired of being spit on by the rain, I went on up to my peanut farming fellow and said, “I need two bags of boiled peanuts.” My peanut farmer seemed relieved to be rescued from the yan-kee fellow blocking the sale of fine Virginia peanuts. I did it. I upset the cud chewing New Jersey retiree. I said to myself, “Oh mercy, this fellow is about to lay into me.” He turned to me and said, “This is the South, we take things slow here.” I think I took my glasses off before I spoke. I had all of these things that I wanted to say that were not nice at all. I was trying to keep in mind that it was me who interrupted this fellow’s useless conversation getting me more wet and keeping me from my peanuts (and grits). I was going to try to come up with a nice reply. However, when a yankee tells me how it is in the South, it bothers me. It is not that I mind sharing my heritage with folks; it’s just that I don’t like folks claiming something that is not theirs. It is like a Methodist going in and telling folks in a Baptist church the proper depth of their baptism pool, or worse telling them to install a shower. I looked at him and formed my words. I smiled and I spoke in my

native language, “Trust me – I know about the South and I know what WE do. You seemed to be

just chewing the cud.” He walked off. My peanut farmer’s wife was sitting

on a cooler behind him. After the fellow walked off, she said, “And

we are not afraid to speak our mind.” I smiled and headed off to get my grits.

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire

form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and

the pastor tried to put him at ease.When they came to the question,

“Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” there was a long pause.

Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said,

“Put down yes!”

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Three older ladies were discussing the travails of get-ting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigera-tor and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “That must be the door -- I’ll get it!”

Getting Older

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was no God. He said, “God if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!” Ten minutes went by. He kept taunt-ing God, saying, “Here I am God, I’m still waiting.” He got down to the last couple of minutes and a big 240-pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said. The football player walked into the classroom and in the last min-ute, hit the professor full force, sending him flying off the platform. The professor got up, obviously shaken, and said, “Where did you come from, and why did you do that?” The football player replied, “God sent me!”

God Send

Shiloh Baptist Church Deaf Ministry will be hosting a Deaf Picnic on

September 20th beginning at 11a.m. at Shivers Park in Chipley.

Come join us for a day of food, fun and fellowship. This is a free event!

For more info, contact Steve & Debbie Hendrix (850)260-0359.

Street Talk America September /25

The Times of P.L. (Pea Likker) Mcpherson

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DEE’S RESTAURANT

3730 Hwy 277 • Vernon

I never knew times would change as much as they have over the last few years. When you listen to the news, it’s almost as if you are reading directly from the Holy Bible. There is war everywhere in some form or another in practically every nation. People running everywhere searching for answers and others seem to have a solution to problems, which solutions never materialize, and only bring more woe and want.If a group of people doesn’t like the Bible as writ-ten, they simply change the wording to fit their own lifestyle. Such is the New Oxford Annotated Bible, which was created in part by pro-gay and feminist scholars in order to set forth a more gay revisionist interpretation of Scripture, or the Queen James ver-sion, currently available from Amazon and other book distributors. The latest is a Christian-Muslim friendly version, being created by organizations that most would think of as being more conservative and reasonable. At the forefront of the controversy are the Wycliffe Bible Translators, the Summer Institute of Linguistics and Frontiers, all of which are producing Bible transla-tions that remove or modify terms, which they have deemed offensive to Muslims. Included in the controversial development is the removal of any references to God as “Father,” to Jesus as the “Son” or “the Son of God.” One example of such a change can be seen in an Arabic version of the Gospel of Matthew produced and promoted by Frontiers and SIL. It changes Matthew 28:19 from: “Baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son

and the Holy Spirit” to: “cleanse them by water in the name of Allah, his Messiah and his Holy Spirit.” Recent polls indicate that 6 out of 10 Americans be-lieve that the God of the Bible is the same as the God of the Qur’an. Of “Born Again Christians” in Ameri-ca, 40% say that Jehovah God of the Bible is also the same as Allah God of the Qur’an. Lord have mercy on some of these new American preachers, many of whom have been taught from youth the Biblical truths, are now preaching a lying message, and are leading people to Hell by the thou-sands. As it was in the days of Jeremiah; the prophets are telling lies, the priests are changing the Word to suit their own lifestyles and the people like it that way.What will they do when the end comes? I like the old song, which says: Give me that old time religion, it will take us all to Heaven, that’s good enough for me. Like my ole dad once said, I believe what I believe, and that is all I believe.

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• Diesel (On & Off Road)

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850-263-22943725 Hwy 2 Graceville, FL 32440

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BUSH PAINT & SUPPLY

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971 6th Ave. Graceville, FL 32440(850)263-4744 or (850)263-6345

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STAR FIREEXTINGUISHER INC.

Sean CollinsOwner

P.O. Box 6256 Marianna, FL 32447

[email protected]

Serving the Panhandle since 1988

Here is a picture taken in 1950 of Governor Fuller Warren aboard the Hand-Operated Miller’s Ferry. He was taking the last ride or trip on the ferry at a dedication ceremony of the new Highway Bridge. My daddy, Isaiah Jenkins, was one of the people hired to help build what was at that time the “new Highway Bridge” in Miller’s Ferry. Through our childhood years Daddy did relay some stories of humor about him going to work on some hung-over mornings.

Just take notice of the beautiful car to the right. Now you can bet that car was made of steel and not plastic or fiberglass, don’t you think?Hope you enjoy reminiscing for a little while.

Days Gone ByBy:Judy Reupke, Vernon, FL

A young man named Murphy applied for an engineer-ing position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An Amer-ican also applied for the same job. Both applicants had the same qualifications and were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men had missed only one of the questions.The manager went to Murphy and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the Ameri-can the job.” Murphy said, “And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish, I should get the job!”“We have made our decision not on the correct an-swers, but on the question you missed,” replied the manager. “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” The manager said, “It’s simple. The American answered ‘I don’t know’ to question number 5. You put down ‘Neither do I.’”

Job Application

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and His ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns His face against those who do evil.

1 Peter 3:12 NLT


(850) 769-SKIN (7546)1900 Harrison Ave • Panama City, Fl 32405

Charles R Kovaleski, MD • Robert J. Siragusa, MDDavid Adams, MD • Charles Byron, M.P.A.S., P.A.-C

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Brown Funeral Home1068 Main Street • Chipley

912 Brickyard Road • Chipley(850) 638-4010

Please visit our website www.brownfh.net

Don Brown, Owner, LFD Jimmy Sasser, LFD Ryan Brown, LFD

We have been a proud tradition in Chipley and the surrounding area since 1966. We’ve been here and will be here when you need us, with the experience, the

facilities and the compassion you deserve.

It was in May of 1972 – a beautiful, sunny, warm Saturday morning. I had gone to our office to catch up on work. The office was a small single story building with individual offices in the front and a soil testing laboratory in the back. Behind the lab was a large equipment yard used to park and service all of our trucks and equipment and to store supplies and tools. The yard was completely enclosed by a high chain link fence topped with barbed wire. This area was a well developed part of Jacksonville, Florida, just a few miles from downtown, with a major commercial office park, various businesses, apartments and single family residences. Right in the middle of this development was a densely wooded low income area several acres in size that contained a number of old rundown small houses accessed by dirt roads. Our office adjoined this low income area. We periodically had problems with some of the residents – primarily from scaling the fence and stealing batteries out of our equipment, tools and supplies that weren’t under lock. Jacksonville was coming out of an economic slump in the 1960s and beginning a growth cycle that would

forever make it one of the major cities in the South-east. Our staff consisted of four geotechnical engi-neers, including me, and our heavy workload was requiring all of us to work long hours – sometimes even on weekends. There were two of us working that morning. The other engineer was working in his office inside the building. I was classifying soil samples ob-tained by one of our drill rigs and crew from a project site. It was such a beautiful day outside that we had raised the rollup doors, so most of our back yard was visible. I had been working for quite awhile and it was late morning. Suddenly, I heard a “pop” that sounded like gun fire. Then several more “pops” not very far out-side our fence. Yes, that was definitely gun fire! Then I saw several men carrying quite an assortment of pis-tols running between the fence and the woods. My first thought was that an argument from a wild Friday night of drinking and partying must have turned into a gun fight. By this time the other engineer had joined me, having also heard the gun shots. We took cover behind a metal desk and I called the sheriff’s office (no 911 back then). This reminded me too much of Vietnam, where I had returned from in 1970 after serving a mili-tary tour there, but a big difference was I didn’t have a gun. After explaining to the desk officer what I was see-ing and hearing, he asked if he could call me right back. Shortly, the phone rang and another officer was on the line. He said, “I think what you are calling about is related to a black bear sighting.” I said, “You

You Think it is What!?!?By: Jon Gould

4711 Highway 90 East • Marianna, FL(Between Burger King & Big Lots)

BEN SAUNDERS, DMD PEDIATRIC DENTISTRY

Keeping Kids

Smiling

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• Pediatric Dental Specialist• Children, Adolescents, & Teens• Orthodontics• In-Offi ce Sedation• Hospital Dentistry• Special Needs Patients

think it is what!” Then he explained that all morn-ing they had been getting calls from people reporting seeing a bear running through their yards and crossing roads. The sightings started about 15 miles east of us and had progressed to our general location. Wildlife officers were in hot pursuit of the bear trying to get close enough to shoot it with a tranquilizer gun.

A short while later I heard more gun shots coming from the direction of the nearby apartments, and then a lot of vehicle and people activity. The other engineer and I walked down there and, sure enough, someone had killed the young bear right next to the pool before the wildlife officers arrived. As you can see in the photo, a lot of people were standing around the dead bear looking in amazement. The crowd included many in their bathing suits, as well as others with “Saturday night specials”. This was my first and last black bear sighting in the “wild”, even though I had hunted in areas of Florida in the 1950s where bears were rela-tively common.


DRIVEWAYS850-319-8833

Grading • Landclearing

Hard Lime Rock w/base $385 - 100ft.

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We would like to send a shout out to the Chipley Tigers & the Vernon Yellow Jackets!

May you have a safe and victorious football season!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow

and asked, “How old was your husband?”“Ninety-nine,” she replied.

“Two years older than I am.”“So you’re 97,” the undertaker asked.

She responded, “Hardly worth going home, isn’t it?”

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HEALTH TALKby: Michael Kennedy, ARNPHawkins Family Medicine

Come grow with us.

Call today to schedule an appointment!(850)547-4440

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Patrick Hawkins, MDMichael Kennedy, ARNPFamily Medicine

Meg Taylor, ARNPWomen’s Health

Are you ready for some football? September is here. School is in full swing, and on Friday nights, the lights will be shining on our boys as they battle it out on the gridiron. Moms will be yelling “foul ball” and wondering why the refs won’t do anything about the other team tackling their sons. The bands will be blaring anthems and Alma Maters. I will likely be eating boiled peanuts and reminiscing on glories past (and by glories past I mean mainly extremely exaggerated stories that might or might not have happened in an 8th grade football practice). Dr. Hawkins will be telling the story of the time he almost had a “run back” touchdown off of a kick off - if only he wouldn’t have been penalized for trying to run back a fair catch. Whatever football season means to you, my wife and I are big fans of the television series Friday Night Lights. Most small town people can play a game look-ing around at football games and naming who would be which character in real life. In fact, my wife of-ten mistakes me for Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights...which leads me into discussing concussions. The Mayo Clinic website tells us, “A concussion is a traumatic brain injury that alters the way your brain functions. Effects are usually temporary but can include headaches and problems with concentration,

memory, balance and coordination”. This has been a very important hot topic related to football due to the evidence of late effects and repeated concussion syndrome. Precautions should be taken when an in-

creased risk for concussion is present such as with skateboarding, bicycling, climbing sports, and sparring with boxing or martial arts too. If there is a suspected concussion, seek medical care. If a concussion has occurred, experts recommend not returning to vigorous activity at all on the

same day, as well as not returning to vigorous activity until symptoms have resolved completely.

This could be hours, days, weeks, or even longer. This is important for parents, grandparents and other adults to know who has a loved one participating in a contact sport. If someone does return too early after an initial concussion, they are at very high risk for second impact syndrome. After an initial concussion, it takes very little impact for second impact syndrome to occur and do possibly irreversible or even fatal damage. For more information on this, search for sec-ond impact syndrome on the internet. Protect yourself and your loved ones and become educated on risks associated with concussions and other traumatic brain injuries. With clear eyes and full hearts, we proudly cheer on our Holmes County Blue Devils as we enter another season. Say hello to us when you see us at the games cheering on our alma mater. Just don’t ask me to share my boiled peanuts (as if my 3 year old will let me have any).

For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not

because we deserved it, but because that was His plan from before the beginning of time – to show us His

grace through Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 1:9 NLT

Computer IslandSpecializing in Virus Removal,

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New & Used Computers

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Serving Holmes & Washington County Since 1999.

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1362 N. Railroad Ave.Chipley, Fl 32428


At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he be-came captivated by a beautiful young thing and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at parties. “Oh, I have a 3.9, so I’m much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals,” she said. “What’s your G.P.A.?”Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, “I get about 27 in the city and 38 on the highway.”

GPA

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children en-tered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was hap-pening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”

Crazy Kids

A Sunday school teacher said to the children, “We have been learning how powerful kings

and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?”

One child blurted out, “Aces!”

A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After he was sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case: “...and then she hit me with a maple leaf.” “Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury?” said the lawyer. “Are you kidding?” exclaimed the old man. “It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table.”

Maple Leaf

Mabel and Alice are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Mabel is upset because she thinks her husband doesn’t find her attractive anymore. “As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me!” she cries.“I’m so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day.” replies Alice. “Yes, but your husband’s an an-tique dealer!”

In the Eyes of the Beholder

GOT CATTLE?

Orange Hill Express, Inc. 982 Orange Hill Rd. Chipley • 638-9505It’s not what we do but how we do it!

We are the Area’s Largest Purina Dealer14 Years Strong

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We have everything you need for your cattle!•Fencing Supplies • Cattle Feed

•Off Road Farm Fuel •Farm Equipment •Wormers •Clover Seed •Gulf Rye Grass

•Big Boss Rye Grass

September 16th @ 6 p.m.

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“WE DEVELOP BETTER CATTLE FROM THE INSIDE OUT”

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You have questions... We have answers! • Learn how to increase your bottom line, save labor cost, time and have more pounds to sell. • Sign up for $80 a ton discount on Wind & Rain Mineral. • Booking on tubs, Minerals, and Liquid for those that attend.

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•Income Taxes •Payroll•Sales Tax •Bookkeeping•QuickBooks Pro Advisor

Heather N Wells PAHeather Wells, CPA-Owner

(850)638-0408 • Fax (850)270-6896

[email protected]

P.O. Box 160 • 1378 N Railroad Ave. Chipley, FL 32428

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

I am a book HOG. There. I said it and it’s out in the open. Truly I am. I think it’s kin to gluttony when you have books on the shelves, yet you can’t resist going to Barnes and Noble or Books-a-Million. My fav would be LifeWay. I’m not bashing myself…just admitting the truth. I do give books away. In my splurging purging that has been going on this year, I have given away at least 60 if not more. I think likely more. But who’s counting? I brought my books home from the office to build me a nest for studying in our camper and then I had two come via Amazon delivery (my niece @BeckyK-night told me I needed to read–then Amazon made a suggestion based on my order…oh well. See…I’m a

Colored Pencils & Highlighters

hog) and Jeff’s comment was, “More books”? Sorry. Yes, darling… When I get a new one–I chew on it quite a while if it’s a good one. I highlight. Underline with a colored pencil (I LOVE a new box of colored pencils). I dog ear the page. And I take notes. Sometimes I think Mark Batterson writes a few books just so that I will go out and get it and read the note he wrote and tucked

in just for me–from God. Our life is like that. Underlined. High-lighted and even a bit dog eared. Did you ever write in the front of your books, “this

book belongs to……” ? The minute you realize you need Jesus–that you can’t live an-

other day–breathe another breath without Him, He makes His mark on you. “This life belongs to ME”. I know you’ve read “our lives are ….known and read by all men” (2 Corinthians 3:1-3) The life you live is observed. If you are living out your faith–you are giving faith

to another. If you are producing good fruit, others are engaging and being nourished from what you are bringing forth. But, if you are full of wormy words. Negative thoughts–and a general dissatisfaction with all things in life–you are making yourself miserable–as well as those around you. You are known and read… What has been worthy of underlining in your life? The day you passionately fell on your face before God?? The day you were baptized? The day you submitted things you had been holding on to in your life? I think…all of the above. He observes, takes a long look–at every single detail. Nothing is too microscopic for Him to take note of. AND I like to think He highlights. With His holy high-lighter. And the dog eared pages? I think those might be lessons we learn that He wants us to come back to…Remembering His Grace… You and I are known. Read of all men– but He takes such notice that He records our lives. Every detail. The good -the bad-and the ugly. If you are a bully

CLOUD AUTO PARTS, INC.

310 South Waukesha Street Bonifay, FL(850)547-3646

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Mon.-Fri.7 am - 5 pmSat. 7 am - 3 pm

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CHIPLEY HARDWARE& MOBILE HOME SUPPLIES

(850) 638-18151163 Jackson Ave. Chipley, FL 32428

We are your local Authorized YETI Cooler Dealer. Come see our display!

Come visit our Lawn & Garden Center!

Case Knives

Cook Pots & Cast Iron Skillets

We carry Pool Supplies & Pool Salt

We sellGenerators!

Are you prepared for Hurricane Season?

A three-year-old had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mom told him, she was very insistent. His response was, “Yes, Sir!” Since he was talking to his mother, she was surprised he’d called her “Sir”. “You would say, ‘yes sir,’ to a man. I am a lady, and you would say ‘Yes Ma’am,’ to a lady,” Mom said. To quiz him on this lesson she then asked him, “What would you say to Daddy?” “Yes Sir!” was the reply. “Then what would you say to Mama?” “Yes, Ma’am!” he proudly answered. “Good boy! Now what would you say to Grandma?” He lit up and said, “Can I have a cookie?”

What Would You Say?

A father and son were riding in their truck together one day and the son asked the father, “Dad, how high can you count?” The father replied, “Well, I don’t know, son -- how high can you count?” The son immediately replied, “One thousand, five hundred, forty-two.”The father said, “Why did you stop?” The son shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, church was over.”

How High Can You Count?

(yes adults can be bullies, I’ve witnessed it first hand), know of a certainty that God has observed and record-ed. One day–we will all stand before Him and give an account for what is not covered by the Blood of His precious Son, Jesus Christ. After that day of saving grace–when it’s been poured on us–and seeped deep into our soul– it will make a difference. IF we meant what we said. Are we then perfect? No. We are still human. We are apt to make mistakes but never think for one second that He doesn’t love us–He does still–and is waiting patiently for us to recognize our deep need for Him…and come running back to the throne… and He takes His highlighter and makes note of the day…and reminds us later–of His deep love. Remind someone of that today. Our deep need….His great love. Highlight that for someone.

© Angie Knight 2014. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

“Cast Your Worries Away!”

Oyster Bar & Seafood Restaurant425 St. Johns Rd. • Bonifay, FL 32425

547-2112

Shrimp

Hours: Wednesday - Saturday 11am-9pm

Jambalaya

Lunch Specials Available

ScallopsFlounder

MulletCatfish

CASTAWAY

try our Boat Trash!

Three old couples were having tea one fine day. They were all chatting and whatnot when one of the men, trying to get a chuckle, said to his wife, “Pass the honey, honey!” Getting the chuckle he expected, he carried on. A moment later, the second man said, “Pass the sugar, sugar!” This got a bit of a bigger laugh, so the third man, although not quite as clever or quick-witted as the other two, decided to join in the fun. He waited for the perfect opportunity, cleared his throat and then confidently said, “Pass the tea, bag!”And that’s how the fight started.

How the Fight Started...


Heaven SentThrift Shoppe

• Furniture • Appliances • Clothes• Collectables• Lots of Gifts & Much More

Barbara Hancock (205)983-2208Farren Hancock (205)983-2271

682 North 5th Street • Chipley, Fl 32428

Open Tues.-Sat. 10a.m.-6p.m.

Back by Popular Demand... The Redneck Horoscope

OKRA Dec 22 - Jan 20 Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies! CHITLIN Jan 21 - Feb 19Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they’re uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins can burn and then erupt like Vesuvius, and this can make for a really terrible mess. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.BOLL WEEVIL Feb 20- Mar 20You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right

mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.MOON PIE Mar 21- April 20 You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.POSSUM APR 21 - May 21When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don’t-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work and you may find your problems actually running you over.CRAWFISH May 22 - June 21Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.COLLARDS June 22- July 23Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.CATFISH July 24 - Aug 23Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand.

We Steam

for Free!

Bonifay Seafood Market

• Fish • Bagged Oysters • Scallops • Shrimp• Snow Crab Legs

850-547-19581007 N. Waukesha St. • Bonifay

FRESH SEAFOODSELECTIONS EBT Accepted

B.S.M. Cheesy Shrimp Dip1 lb. shrimp from B.S.M.1⁄2 cup chopped green onion1 red pepper –chopped1 cup mozzarella cheese1 cup cheddar cheese

1 8oz. sour cream1⁄2 cup mayo

Preheat oven to 350°. Sauté onions and peppers until peppers are soft. Chop shrimp into bite size pieces. Fold in shrimp and remaining ingredients. Spray casserole dish with nonstick cooking spray and pour shrimp mixture into dish. Bake for 30 minutes and serve with Tostitos.


A & W ExcavationsOwner/Operator: Wesley Griffin

• Land Clearing • Stump Removal • Pond Digging • Dirt Work • Driveways • Demolitions • Tree Removal

InsuredFree Estimates850•557•1966

You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.GRITS Aug 24 - Sept 23Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.BOILED PEANUTS Sept 24 - Oct 23You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best -- your friends and loved ones-may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.BUTTER BEAN October 24 - Nov 22Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.ARMADILLO Nov 23 - Dec 21You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another possibility.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies, “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

A Thoughtful Prayer

FREE ESTIMATES

North Florida’s Premier Metal Roofing Fabrication & Installation

Locally Owned & OperatedLic#RC29027509

• Residential & Commercial • Metal Roofs• Pole Barns • Decks • Aluminum Awning Roofs

Office (850)638-8999 Cell (850)258-2923

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Portable Sawmill

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George’s Glass TintingGlass Tinting for your Office, Home & Auto

850-482-6542Call us for a quote!

S. Jefferson St. • Marianna FL

Free announcements for Church and Non-Profit Organizations. Announcements must be mailed to STA P.O. Box 170 Vernon, FL 32462 or email to

[email protected]. -Would you like to know God? Would you like to be one of God’s children? If so, come join us at Grace Lutheran Church on Sunday 8:15a.m. On hwy 90 1 1/4 mile east of Bonifay. Let the Lord touch you with His love.- Unity Baptist Church FAITH Riders will be hosting a monthly Pancake Breakfast on the 4th Saturday of every month @ the Vernon Firehouse 7a.m. to benefit area wid-ows and orphans. For more info call Johnathan Taylor @ 768-2444.-Unity Baptist Church FAITH Riders motorcycle minis-try holds our Friday night worship rally quarterly on the second Friday of the month at 6:30 PM @ Unity Baptist Church. Please join us for great food and fellowship and an inspirational message. Bike rider or not, everyone is welcome. For more information, please contact Johnathan Taylor @ 768-2444.-Marianna’s Gathering Place Foundation is holding a monthly meeting for senior singles on the last Friday of every month at 6p.m. at Eastside Baptist church Hwy 90E. in Marianna. Speakers, entertainment and lots of fun. Call Lilia for more info.850-272-6611-Free Health Clinic for the uninsured. 203 W. Iowa Ave. Bonifay, FL. Open on the 1st and 3rd Saturdays of each month. For more info call 850-510-3779-Alford Community Health Clinic 1770 Caroline St. Alford, FL. 2nd & 4th Saturdays starting @ 10a.m. For more info call 850-272-0101-Graceville Free Medical Clinic 5470 College Suite 2 Graceville, FL. 3rd & 5th Saturdays starting @ 10a.m. For more info call 850-263-6912 or 850-272-0101

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Street Talk Announcements


Falling Waters State Park invites you to Caches, Critters and Cars on October 11th, 2014 from 9a.m. until 4 p.m.. This event will be promoting the grand opening of the Washington County Heritage Geocach-ing Trail. There will also be an open house where many antique cars and campers will be available for viewing. If you like animals, there will be a wide variety of critters on display from snakes & rabbits to owls & bulls and many more. Blacksmiths, pine needle basket weavers, flint knappers along with many other crafters and demonstrators, will also be in at-tendance. There will be plenty of good food and fun for all. A trolley will be available to transport guests to the campgrounds for the Antique Car/Campers open house. Call (850) 638-6130 for more info.

Caches, Critters & Cars


On the VERGE with BIRGEThoughts, runs, puns & fun by robert Birge

• I Was trying to build a website for women drivers... But it kept crashing. • True love doesn’t care about the look or size of your wallet, it’s all about what’s inside..... the wallet. • Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.• Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.• Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.• I was really really MAD at my girlfriend for not calling me all day.... Then I remembered she’s imagi-nary. So, I’m good.• Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.• Just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I’m so confused• When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?

A man loved to play golf. It was the one activity he looked forward to every week. One Saturday, he returned home from a scheduled three-some much ear-lier than his wife expected. She asked him why he was home so early. “Do you want to play golf with some-one who whines about every shot, complains about ev-erything on the course, and makes noises when you’re trying to make an important shot?”, he asked. “No, I don’t,” answered his wife “Neither did they!”

Playing Golf

Fed up with just sitting around?

Looking for something to do?

Join the Naval Sea Cadet Corps!Interested in ships & the sea?

Programs for Boys & Girls Ages 11-17

For more information, call Lt. John M. Duncan (850)326-2505

Will you accept the challenge?

www.seacadets.org

Call ahead for your SPECIAL CUTS!

We accept EBT, Credit & Debit

For the Lord delights in His people; He crowns the humble with victory.

Psalms 149:4

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Open Monday-Saturday

COUNTRY MEATS

Quality Cuts

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Your local, one-stop shop for freshly cut meats!

Locally Owned & Operated

We reserve the right to change prices due to fluctuation in market prices.

Papa Shu’s Movie Review

By: Timothy ShumakerChildren’s Minister, Shiloh Baptist Church

Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesSpoiler Alert! If you do not want to know how this movie ends

please stop reading. Movie plots will be revealed!


1556 Brickyard Road • Chipley, Florida 32428 850-638-2122 www.obertfuneralhome.com

We now offer Monuments, Coping & Cemetery Work.

“STRIVING TO BE THE MOST TRUSTED NAME IN THE FUNERAL PROFESSION”

Shane & Mary Margaret Obert - Owners

Back in 1988, I was stationed at San Diego with the Navy and I decided to take my family to a grow-ing comic book convention which today is known as ComicCon. In those days it was common for fans to be able to actually spend time with artists who are now juggernauts in the industry. We had the privilege to sit down and talk with Peter Liard and Kevin East-man, creators of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Liard doodled a picture of the turtle, Raphael, on a small piece of paper and signed my original black and white comic. At the time, little did I know that this silly little comic would have such an impact on my family’s life. We have always been Ninja Turtle fans, so when viewing this reboot film, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, my heart went immediately back to that moment at ComicCon in 1988. I hoped that this film would do the franchise justice. TMNT pumped up the volume in this film. This ver-sion was more like the comic book versions, being darker and grittier than the original 1990 movie and an-imated TV series. At the same time, the film kept much of the light-hearted one-liners of the original TMNT.

The storyline of the film had some minor changes from the original, especially the origin of Splinter, the Turtles’ father figure and sensei. Also, in this film, reporter, April O’Neill, has a deeper connection with Splinter and the Turtles and is directly responsible for saving them from the laboratory as a child. Also, some of the minor characters in the original story under-went a gender change. However, these few changes are minor and only die-hard TMNT fans would even recognize the difference. Concerning the content of this film, parents might find very minor language issues and innuendos objec-tionable. The major content issue concerns superhero-type violence. The evil “Foot Clan” and their dark leader, Shredder, are much darker and more competent in this film. The villains look more like modern-day terrorist. When characters are attacked, they don’t just get up, shake it off and run away. There are massive amounts of damage to buildings, vehicles, and people. Shredder’s evil plan involves devastating chemical warfare and a terrorist plot against thousands of New Yorkers. Considering the current state of affairs in the world, parents may have to address these fears with their children. However, this is also an opportunity to discuss the sovereignty of God and the security of those who place their trust in Him. If Ninja Turtles are not your thing, then you won’t get this movie. Fans of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will love this movie and it is sure to grow a new gen-eration of fans. It certainly brought me back to a time before 9/11/2001 when dropping deadly chemicals on the city did not seem like a real threat. But, today kids live in a different world in which the secret plot to kill thousands of people is an unfortunate reality. So, I would definitely recommend enjoying this film, but be prepared to address the threat of real terrorism. Hope-fully, your kids won’t make this connection and sim-ply enjoy the Ninja Turtle action. Cowabunga, Dudes! Papa Shu


Here’s Yer Sign!

• Any fake phone number a girl gave you would auto-matically forward your call to her real number.• Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To “I love you.”• Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards.• When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.• The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.• At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you’d jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.• Tanks would be far easier to rent.• Garbage would take itself out.• Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, “You’re #1!”• Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. (Wouldn’t help -- you STILL wouldn’t remember!)• On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off. Mother’s Day, too.• The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a different camera angle.• It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.• Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 sec-onds of conversation.

If Men Ruled the World...

Wedding Venue & Events (850)326-9586

3243 Bonnett Pond Rd. • Chipley, FL

We would like to thank the Holmes County Varsity Cheerleaders for being our cover-girls for this month’s issue of Street Talk America. Thanks also to photographer, Nikki Elmore!

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