story telling – use of metaphor for change · below are some helpful notes, example scripts to...

Balanced Approach training and development

www.balancedapproach.co.uk

Using NLP to improve anxiety management and relaxation interventions

Monday 24th May – Common Room, Solihull Hospital Education Centre

The aim of this half day session is to help you notice the language you use and the unconscious effect is has on both you and the patient. As communication requires interaction we have to realise that everything that is said and done has an effect whether we want it to or not. Below are some helpful notes, example scripts to get you started and hopefully some thought provoking sections. From time to time the term trance will come up; this is really an altered state of focus and occurs naturally when watching TV, reading a book or just paying specific attention to something or someone.

Please remember whatever your job title or badge says, ultimately you are a facilitator or manager of change so ensure the change you are facilitating is a useful one…..

Once the brain (unconscious portion) selects an organ of the body as the whipping boy for a particular emotional problem, the choice is entered into the body's computer system . . . After that, every time those same feelings occur and have to be disposed of, the stress will be directed against the SAME ORGAN . . . Consequently every organ, muscle and gland in the body could end up as a punching bag for a specific emotional problem. ……. Dr. C. S. Lovett

Or – Emotions that find no outlet make the organs weep…… Dr. H. Maudsley

Story telling – use of metaphor for change I heard a line once which has stuck with me and felt it relevant to this section.

“Curry combing the platitudes of those less able to gain the interest and attention of others”.

I loved it as it conjured up creative images. In terms of effective story telling the curry coming, or spicing up, ensure you can create the intended state in the listener or reader. Mr Benn is an excellent use of effective story telling (70s’ children’s TV). Nursery rhymes are also excellent stories and effective use of metaphors. Telling a story and planting a suggestion allows the subconscious to file information appropriately without an abreaction or feeling of being ‘told what to do’. An abreaction in this instance would be reliving a traumatic memory by direct association with the story. The needle phobia script

telling a story of a needle scared of being used but over-coming that fear through relaxation and understanding how it is helping the child, is an effective use of metaphor and reframe I have used it and removed a needle phobia in an 11 year old girl with one session. ‘Pools of the mind’ is another story showing effective use of metaphor. The Pools of the Mind scrip is included below.

Telling an effective story includes a number of key stages: (1) begin with the end in mind – know the outcome you want (2) structure a story that is appropriate to the patients belief system (3) go there yourself – tell the story ‘as if’ you are there or believe it. (4) Use of metaphors – less direct yet very suggestive. (5) Anchor the reason for the story by ensuring the above 4 are well done.

Stories can be told in or out of an overt trance as a good story creates its own trance naturally. As part of the patient-therapist relationship expectation some patients prefer to go through the formal process

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Benn�



of guided relaxation before weaving your story; in this case meeting there expectation increases the likelihood of an effective outcome.

Anchors I have mentioned anchors many times throughout this workshop so felt it worth clarifying from my perspective. I think of if like a book mark, a place clearly marked allowing it to be found again easily and quickly. In guided relaxation it is most notably used to reference and mark a ‘safe place’ or state of relaxation allowing a patient to access the state when needed. Anchors are placed using sensory markers. Example everyday markers are: a reassuring hug (kinesthetic), seeing a smiling face (visual), favourite song (auditory), smell of toast (olfactory) and taste of chocolate (gustatory). Understanding this allows a therapist to purposely place useful anchors e.g. “as I squeeze your hand, you will...”

Process of trance induction The process of trance induction of creation of a hypnotic state is to naturally take the subject from outside to inside i.e. from the noise and confusion of the outside world to a place where they feel comfortable focused and un-distracted.

Be this through any formalised induction or just mindful meditation or contemplative prayer etc.

The stages are:

Outside --- Outside Outside --- Inside Inside --- Inside

• Outside is something that is real e.g. traffic noise, lights or other sensory stimulus • Inside is experience e.g. what they feel or believe – you may notice the comfort of your breath,

or how curious it feels to relax more right now • The final inside is when they are inside a world within that you are helping direct.

Simple inductions can be achieved quickly when rapport is built and the clients feels safe and at ease. Sometimes anxiety and nervousness needs longer inductions such as Speigel or Elman and counting back from 100.

The aim of the trance (hypnotic) state is get the patient into a comfortable relaxed and safe state where you can bypass the purely logical left side of the brain and access the creative right side of the brain.

Following trance induction, you use a script devised to create the change wanted. There are many pre-written scripts available and I have included two examples below. As you feel more comfortable and confident with the concept of hypnotic suggestion, you will make up your own scripts based on the information collected from the client.



Proof you can! Feedback from many staff and patient groups has shown me that the hardest part is repeatability ie repeating the ‘resourceful state’ on their own as and when needed. This is achieved by the use of effective anchors and practice. The first opportunity to practice is when you first bring them out of trance, ask them to close their eyes, remember the special place (and keep sake) again straight away. It will be easy and a confirmation that THEY CAN DO IT as you only said a few words.

Past, present, future By making our conversation time sensitive we unconsciously effect the patient eg “please tell me how this HAS effected you”. Has is a past tense word rather IS which is what has been invariably used. “How do you think this will help you?” Will is both a future tense word and a command not just a question. Marking events in time (time lining) is also a powerful tool. It can be done simply with visual markers (anchors) that enables the patient to move forwards in a more resourceful way: think about pointing left and saying “in the past” and pointing right “in the future” when talking to a patient. Resource anchoring is taking useful events/states and anchoring them to be fired off as needed.

Reframing One of the best ways of dealing with the resistance that may come from changing to a more disciplined lifestyle, is to see the change in a different perspective. This technique is called “reframing” and it works much like a frame around a picture. A poor frame can make any painting look bad, just like a beautiful frame can make a mediocre picture look better.

The central principle behind reframing is that there is no good or bad in life. There is only your perception of it. Two types of reframing that will help change your attitude to the negative aspects of self discipline, are content and context reframing.

Context Reframing Context reframing refers to your ability to take a negative situation, and make it positive in another context. For example, “I wanted to go to the park today, but I can’t as it’s such a rainy day. Oh well, at least the car is clean now. I needed to wash it anyway.”

Once you try using context reframing you will be surprised at how many things you once saw as a negative, actually turn out to be positive and beneficial in some way. A good example to demonstrate this point is the story of the 3m company.

They had developed an adhesive that didn’t stick very well, and so wondered how they were going to sell an adhesive that didn’t do it’s job!?

One researcher decided to reframe the situation, and put a little bit of adhesive on the back of a piece of paper. The result? “Post It Notes”!

Content Reframing Content reframing is the second type of reframing. It involves changing what a situation means to you. For example, some religions look at death not as the end of life, but as the beginning of life in heaven etc.



Or to use a previous example, people who fail at business and then go onto be successful see their first failure not as a failure, but a valuable lesson from which they can learn through failing.

Content reframing can be used to change how you perceive virtually any situation. For example, if you have been putting off cleaning your room or garage, it is probably because you have a negative mental image of it.

Maybe you picture a messy room? Boring and tedious work? Something that’s going to take you forever to do?

But what do you think would happen if you changed that image, and reframed it? How about making the image brighter? Seeing your friends and family helping you, whilst telling jokes to each other? Do you think your attitude to the situation would change? You bet it would!

You don’t hate your house looking clean, you just hate the perceived pain it takes you to get it that way. By reframing the task into something more enjoyable, you will vastly increase your willingness to do it.



Sample induction script

what I'd like you to do is look up, take a deep breath in, close your eyes and hold that breath, hold it, now let it go, and as you do just let your eyes relax down and float down, allowing any tensions you had, go as well......

You are sitting here listening to me and wondering how it is you are going to become more deeply relaxed. Now I don't know if you will become more deeply relaxed quickly or if it will take a little longer to really enjoy all the subtle changes in your awareness you notice as it happens.

That's right….. and you don't have to lose awareness of the weight of your body sitting here in the chair or your arms on your lap now, only as fast as you begin going inside and really relaxing

And begin counting backwards in your mind from 100, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95… [fading the numbers as you speak] back and back as you relax the little muscles on the side of your face, the awareness spreading down your neck into your body as you become aware that increasing feeling of comfort and relaxation spreading down, down into your legs and feet to the tips of your toes and your body can move if it wants as you go deeper and from your shoulders, arms and the very tips of your fingers...

I wonder if you have noticed yet, does one hand feel heavier than the other, one hand slightly warmer sensing the weight of your hands as you go deeper; and thoughts can be thought but you don't have to think them, you can notice words, notice, noticing words, notice noticing, your body has relaxed, mind can relax to wander freely and pause, because when we go into the cinema we forget about the seat we are sitting in and really become absorbed in the wonderful story and just as when you are walking on a warm summer's day, I don't know if you are more aware of the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, or the warmth of the sun on your face that takes you deeper and deeper into the journey.....

[Place your story here.]

and as you make your way back, confident in your learnings, and as I count back from five to one you will awake feeling refreshed….. Relaxed….. Alert….. Feeling gooooood

Bring with you all those learnings you need and leave those that are best left to the unconscious

5.... 4.... as you start become more aware….. 3.... aware of the lights and sounds around you, as 2.... you get ready to…… 1 open your eyes feeling wide away and refreshed.



Confidence / ego strengthening

[Following trance induction…]

You are now becoming so deeply relaxed….. so calm…… so secure and your mind is becoming so sensitive…. So receptive to what I say..... that everything I say to you…… that is of benefit to you….. will sink so deeply….. into your unconscious (inner) mind….. and will cause so deeply and lasting and impression there….. that nothing could take it away.

Therefore….. these things that I say to you….. for your own benefit….. for your own good….. will begin to exert a greater and greater over the way you think….. over the way you feel….. over the way you behave.

And….. because these things will remain….. firmly embedded deep in your unconscious mind….. after you have left here….. when you are no longer with me….. they will continue to influence your thoughts….. your feelings….. and your actions….. just as strongly….. just as surely….. just as powerfully….. when you are back at home….. or at work….. or when you are here with me.

You are now becoming so deeply relaxed….. that everything that I tell you that is going to happen….. for your own good….. will happen exactly as I tell you….. and these same thing will continue to happen to you….. every day….. just as strongly….. just as surely….. just as powerfully….. when you are back home, at work or at play.

Just as strongly….. Just as surely….. Just as powerfully

Day by day you will begin to feel physically stronger and fitter in every way….. more alert…. More wide awake….. more energetic…..

You will become much less easily tired….. much less easily discouraged….. much less easily depressed…..

Every day….. you will become so deeply interested in whatever you are doing….. in whatever is going on around you….. that your mind will be drawn away from yourself and your own feelings.

You will think much less about yourself and your own difficulties….. and you will become much less preoccupied with your own feelings.

Every day….. your nerves will become stronger and steadier….. your mind will become much calmer and clearer….. more composed….. more tranquil and at peace….. old worries and anxieties will be less obvious….. fears and agitations will fly away….. you will become much less easily upset.

Your memory will improve….. and you will be able to see things in their true perspective (light)….. without magnifying difficulties….. without allowing them to get out of proportion.

Every day….. you will become emotionally much calmer….. much more settled….. much less easily disturbed.

Every day….. you will become…… and will remain….. more and more completely relaxed….. less tense….. both mentally and physically….. even when you are no longer with me.

And as you become….. and as you remain….. more relaxed….. and less tense each day….. so you will develop much more confidence in yourself….. more confidence in your ability to do….. not only what



you have….. to do each day….. but more confidence in your ability to do whatever your ought or want to be able to do….. without fear of failure….. without fear of consequence….. without unnecessary anxiety….. without uneasiness.

Because of this….. every day….. you will feel more and more independent….. more able to cope with others….. to stand on your own two feet….. to hold your own…..no matter how difficult or trying this may be.

Every day….. you will feel a greater sense of personal well-being….. a greater feeling of personal safety….. and security….. thank you have felt for a long, long time…..

And because all these things will begin to happen….. just as I tell you they will happen….. more and more rapidly…. Powerfully….. and completely….. with every relaxation you have….. you will feel….. much happier….. much more contented….. much more optimistic in every way…..

You will therefore become much more able to rely upon….. and depend upon….. yourself….. and your efforts….. your own judgements….. your own opinions….. you will feel much less need….. to have to reply upon….. other people.

[Bring out of trance back into the now.]



Pools of the Mind – Script to throw away rubbish holding you back

[Following trance induction]

From your safe place….. in the distance….. you can see a pool…… you may not have noticed it there before but it is there now, and as you allow yourself to relax even more….. you make you way to this pool just as quickly as you feel able to.

As you look down into this pool….. you see your own reflection looking back up at you…. And you realise this pool is the pool of your mind.

The pool seems very still, almost stagnant….. because where it used to flow out, you can see it is now blocked , with debris and rubbish etc….. in the distance you can maybe see where it used to flow in but this can’t happen until it can flow out again……. [Pace with breathing] In and out….. in and out…..

For everything to flow freely again and wash away the debris…… you need to clear the rubbish….. maybe you can do this on your own, or maybe you will have somebody there with you, that’s up to you….. because as you clear the rubbish and everything starts to flow, even a little, you will feel so much happier and calmer…… so much more pleased and reassured of the strength within you.

**** here you can ask them to confirm to you that they can do this. You can ask them to speak or nod their head to let you know they are willing to start clearing the rubbish now. This is optional and will strengthen the result.

Start to clear away the rubbish….. just as much as you want to, and can right now….. please remember you can always come back and clear away more if you ever need too and want to in the future because NOW you know how to.

As you clear away the rubbish……. Kicking, pulling, pushing, tearing….. you will notice how the pool has started to flow again….. maybe a little at first….. and as it starts to flow right now…… this flow helps to wash away more of the rubbish so the pool can flow again [pace with breath] in and out…… in and out….. in and out……

When you have cleared away enough rubbish you will know and I want you to let me know….. You can nod your head or speak as before….. [They let you know].

**** if you are sure you understood their signal, then say “well done”. If you are not sure, ask them to tell you again “did you just let me know you have done enough for now?”

Now you have done just as much as you need to right now….. to enable your pool to flow just as freely as it needs to right now [pace with breath] in and out…… in and out….. You will feel so pleased with what you have achieved….. because even after we have gone from here….. this new flow will continue to naturally clear away that old rubbish and debris…… As you make your way back to your special place….. you will take those wonderful feelings with you.

[allow them to stay in their special place for a minute before you bring them out of trance]

story telling – use of metaphor for change · below are some helpful notes, example scripts to...

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