V I D EO T R A N S C R I P T

STOP No 8P L E A S U R E I S L A N D

Lesson #3: The Pleasure of Action

Video Transcript - Stop #8: Pleasure Islandslim, chic & savvy

© French Kiss Life Inc. 2019PAGE 2 OF 4

STOP No 8: PLEASURE ISLAND LESSON #3: THE PLEASURE OF ACTION

When Tina came to me, she was about 45 pounds overweight. During our second coaching conversation, I asked her a question that blew her mind. It was actually a very simple question, and it was this. “Tina, if you weren’t trying to lose weight, what would you be doing?”

Now, at first, she had a very hard time answering the question, because for years her energy had been focusing on losing weight. Every week it was a new diet, what she should eat, what she shouldn’t eat, but all of a sudden she started to think about, “What would I be doing if I was not trying to lose weight?”

That’s what this lesson is all about, The Pleasure of Action. Here’s a mantra that I want you to remember. Slim, chic, and savvy women, we don’t wait, we create. If you think about it, all of the things that you are waiting until one day when to do, if you look at a list of those things, there’s probably no reason why you can’t do those things now, but yet, we keep delaying our lives until one day when.

Here’s something I want you to remember. Wait, W-A-I-T, equals weight, W-E-I-G-H-T. I’m not just talking about physical weight, because maybe that’s not what you are challenged with. I’m talking about the wait of regret, the wait of disappointment. What happens when we put our life off until one day? One of the great blessings that I had is, I worked as a critical care nurse for many, many years, so I had a lot of conversations with people who were at the end of their life, and what they regretted was not taking action on the things that they had wanted to do. They always seemed to have a great excuse for why it wasn’t a good time. They always seemed to have a reason why they could just put it off until tomorrow, but I also have seen how showing up and taking action creates immense pleasure in your life. You get to experience new things, you start to feel better about yourself, you start checking things off of your bucket list that maybe you’ve been waiting to do for years.

I know for me, when I asked myself that question, “Tonya, if you weren’t trying to lose weight, what would you be doing?” I had a whole list. I would learn French, I would spend more time with my daughter, I would go back to school. There was a list of things that I had been putting off in my life. Now, the crazy thing is, when I started doing those things, and I stopped focusing on trying to lose weight, guess what happened? The weight started to come off. The reason being is that I was substituting true pleasure into my life. I was feeling better, I was proud of myself, I was building my confidence as I went out there and did things that I had been putting on the back burner until, one day when, I was a certain size.

I remember, I used to think, when I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll go to the gym, because I had so much shame about my body size and what people would think, but really think about that. I really wanted to go to the gym, I really wanted to get fit, and yet, I was putting it off until I had lost weight. Well, by going to the gym I started to lose weight. Often times, the very things that we are putting off in our lives are the very things that will help us create what it is that we want.

Video Transcript - Stop #8: Pleasure Islandslim, chic & savvy

© French Kiss Life Inc. 2019PAGE 3 OF 4

One of my clients, Barbara, on her weight list was to write a book. She was putting it off until, one day when, her kids were grown and out of the house. Now, her kids were like five and eight years old, so it was going to be a while. I said to her, I said, “You know what Barbara, do not use your kids as an excuse not to show up for your dreams. Really own that the reason why you’re not writing a book is because you’re afraid. It’s because you have all of these limiting beliefs. Now, if you want to put that book on the back burner until your kids are grown and you like that reason, then by all means do it,” but she didn’t like her reason.

She realized that it was easier to blame her children for not writing the book, than to really come to terms that she was just scared. So, she started showing up and she started writing her book, and she eventually published her book. What she said to me, she said, “Tonya, all my life I’ve been dreaming of writing this book and I had been putting it off until one day when, and by writing that book, all of these other things that I was being challenged with, started to change almost effortlessly, because I was feeling better. I was showing up in my life better. I wasn’t disappointing myself day after day.”

I know that there is no more painful existence than to say you want something and then to do nothing about it, or to complain about your life and not change it. There is such pleasure in taking action towards your dreams. There is such pleasure in showing up for yourself day after day, and believe it or not, there’s actually a lot of pleasure in doing hard things, and proving to yourself, number one, you can survive it, you don’t die, and the result of doing that over and over, and day after day, is that you get to feel great about yourself, you get to feel confident about what you’re doing, and over time, doing that, you will create a new result in your life.

I want you to think about, what have you been putting off until one day? Maybe you think that when you lose weight you can go out and buy a beautiful dress. Don’t wait for that. By putting a beautiful dress on the body you are blessed with right now, you’re going to feel better. When you look in the mirror, you’re going to have better thoughts about yourself. That, believe it or not will inspire you to take better care of yourself, and you’ll eventually lose the weight.

Maybe you’re not waiting until a particular event happens, like you lose weight, or your kids leave for college. Maybe you’re waiting to feel ready. This is a big one, so hear me, and hear me very clear. This is one of the ways that I see women sabotage themselves over and over again. They keep waiting until one day when they’re ready, but remember, your mind is going to try to keep you in the cave. The mind is afraid, so the mind will always try to convince you that you are not ready.

Do you want to know how you get ready? You go out there and you do it. You go out there and you experiment, you try, and every time you do it, you’ll get better. It makes me realize, even this moment, my brain, the whole time up until we started filming was saying, “You’re not ready Tonya. There are going to be people around, stay in the cave. Just stay home. You don’t really need to video this,” but this was on my list. It was something that I deeply wanted to do. I knew that this is just my brains way of trying to keep me safe. Bless its heart. It just wants me to stay in my comfort zone.

The way to get ready is to decide you’re ready. The way to be ready is to go out there and do things. That is the only way you’re going to learn. You cannot sit at home with your scared brain and try to convince yourself you’re ready. Think about those things that even you want to do, but you’re thinking, “I’m not ready for this. Maybe I need to take another program. Maybe I need to read another book. Maybe I need to hire someone to help me.” Now,

Video Transcript - Stop #8: Pleasure Islandslim, chic & savvy

© French Kiss Life Inc. 2019PAGE 4 OF 4

sometimes those things are true, but usually, that’s just a distraction action. That’s just something trying to keep you in the cave. It makes you pretend you’re working on it, but you’re not really.

You may find some things on your list that you are wanting to do, and your brain is saying, “Sister, you’re not ready for that.” Do it anyway. Surprise yourself. Show up for what’s on that list.

Another story about waiting until you’re ready is my client Julie. She came to me because she wanted to grow her business and yet, she was trying to convince me that she wasn’t ready. Of course, I wasn’t buying it, because I knew she was. I knew she was just afraid. I had her write down a list of all of the things that she wanted to do in her business, but she didn’t feel ready for. One of them was, she wanted to start blogging on a regular basis.

I told her, I said, “Okay, here’s your challenge. I want you to do it consistently for six months.” Of course, she was freaked out, she was like, “No, no, no, no. I’m not ready for that. My website’s not perfect and I still need to find an assistant.” She had all of the excuses in the world, but her excuses were rooted in fear. So, I challenged her, I said, “Okay, I know you have these excuses, but let’s just use this as an experiment. Just for six months, every week, publish your blog post.” She did that, and within six months, Julie had grown her list from about 150 people to 1500 people. Now, that may not sound like a lot, but here’s the best part.

Julie had a coaching offering that was $3,000. She ended up selling 10 of those every month over the last three months of this experiment. Think about that. $30,000 a month, just from not waiting, for going after her dreams, of being willing not to be ready and doing it anyway.

Maybe you’re waiting until one day when you have a certain number in the bank to go on a vacation. I’ve seen this time and time again with my Paris ladies. They put it off year after year and finally they say, “You know what Tonya, I have to go on this experience with you.” Then they end up going and what ends up happening is they start to think very differently about themselves. They start to see themselves in a very different way. As a result, they come back home, and because they have literally shifted who they’re being, they start getting promotions.

I had one client who literally left her corporate job and started her own business, and is doing amazing. All because they didn’t wait. They stopped putting their desires on the back burner and they realized that their desires matter. I want you to know that. Your desires absolutely matter. What have you been waiting to do? What are those things that you keep telling yourself, “One day I’ll get there?” Because I’ve learned we’re not promised one day. Today is all we have, and I want us to be women who, we don’t wait, we create our lives on purpose.

Write down a list of everything you’ve been waiting to do. Think about the woman in your sweet spot. The one who is living the life that you dream of creating for yourself. What did she have to stop waiting to do in her life? What are the things that she started showing up for? What actions did she take? Give yourself the amazing experience of the pleasure of action. I’ll see you in the next video.