stay sick fanzine issue 9

8/2/2019 STAY SICK fanzine issue 9

1/20

forad

ult

sand

juven

ile

d

elinquen

ts

only


2/20


3/20

Well,thingshavebeenquietintheStaySick

batcaveafterakillerdillershowlastmonthwith

KingSalami&theStompinRiffRaffs,tearingit

upatourbusiestStaySickever.AndaftergoingontourwiththeWildEvelTrashbonefrea

ktrain,

spinnin6Tsgaragetunesfortheeurotrashersin

Austria(morelater).

Wehavebeenplottingsomenewandexciting

stuffforallyoufreaksoutthere.Timestheyare

achangin,wearelookingtogetTheeOh-Sees

backthisyear,alongwithouroldcrampsfriend,

MrKidCongo.Wehavestartedapodcastfullof

screwballgarage,surfandrevveduprockabilly,

whichyoucanfindoniTunes&mixcloudunder

theStaySickRadioShow.Thebignewsisthat

STAYSICKisventuring,likesomanyfoolhardy

beforeup(orshouldthatbefools?),intothecut-throatworldoftherecordbusiness.Weareplan

ningto

releasea7VinylEP(inlimitededitionmidnight

black)ofourfavouriteunsignedbandsthatwe

haveputonoverthepast4years.

WealsomournthelossofEttaJames,the

originalR&Bwigger,JohnnyOtis(moreaboutthisguylateron)andMichaelDavis,the

bassist

ofinfluentiallate1960srockband

MC5.

RestInPieces

ChrisSick&NeilSick

Welco me to t he Sinful wor ld o f S TA Y SICK ! ! !


4/20

Its mid-February. Englandis freezing. So what better place to

go to than Austria? The week before

it was -9C there. Had we lost our

minds? Nah, that was years ago.

Stay Sick have been invited to the

land of Mozart, Schnapps and, er,

Red Bull (?), as tour Djs by Austrias

6ts primitive caveman punk craziesWild Evel and The Trashbones.

Were picked up at the airport, a tad

whiskeyd up and driven into snowy

Vienna, and Evels downtown cave.

You know how the next fve days aregonna go when youre introduced and

sat next to, a full keg of beer that hasbeen, ahem, acquired along with a

chilled draught system

for your drinking pleasure. Oh, AND

to a guy who used to play sax with

Screamin Lord Sutch! Kicks are

never far away if Evel and his gang

are involved.

T h e

frst show is at The Chelsea, in theheart of the sleazy go-go dancing

world of vice that is Viennas red light

area. A trashy, dark tunnel of inequity

beneath the arches of the rumbling

under(over)ground. The place is

noisy, sweaty and the air thick with

the haze of smoke and stage lights.

Yep, cigarette smoke, at a venue.Remember that?

Im roped into compering somehow,

and before you know it, thrust

onstage.

First up, I introduce the beautiful

young burlesque performer, Bayou

Mystere, who teased, delighted andmesmerised a full house with her

performances to Link Wrays The

Rumble and Eddie Burams Riot in

Thunder Alley.

By Neil Sick

wildevelandthe

trashbonesaustriato

ur


5/20

Next up,

the tours

supporting

a c t ,

Switzerlands femme fronted

garage-beat trio The Jackets.

Woah! Screw Toblerone, cuckoo

clocks and penknives for Swiss

exports, and who said they just siton the fence all neutral and all? The

Jackets do not. This was a Swiss

invasion!

Led by singer/guitarist Jackie

Torera, all white shades, hiding thick

eye linered doll-like hypnotic eyes,

Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction hair,

(and donning a monster handle bar

moustache!) the simplicity of their

matching b&w dress and collars

was as effective as their no messin,

pounding killer beaten up 6Ts fuzz

and beat.

Thankfully the crowd were

tolerant to my drunken ramblings

introducing the bands. Now the

headliners and our hosts took to

the stage. Wild Evel is a modern

day savage. Taking no time he

whips the crowd up with his

b-movie sci-f monster poses,

three fnger Farfsa stabbings andNeanderthal-teenpunk antics.

Backed by The Trashbones, AKA

king of fuzz Murphy Morphine,

the youthful Powl Howl on lead,

the sultry Miss Bloody Mary on

bass and the unmerciful caveman

clubbed skin hitting, Vikinghelmeted rhythms of Bernado,

their Keith Moon of a secret

weapon. This bone necklaced,

striped teenage-shutdown t-shirt

wearing band are as tight sonically

as they are trouser-ed. Not to

mention onstage guests from The

Jailbirds and the honking andgrowling of ex- Screaming Lord

Sutch sax man Buddy Grabner.

Still having his rock n roll cake

and eating it at 72!

They scream and holler through

tracks from Tales From The Cave,

launching their debut album,

for which this

rock n roll circus

of musicians,

burlesque and

disc jockeys was

assembled. High

lights have to be

the awesome teen

anthem, Lets Go

Right Now, the


6/20

blistering Oh Yeah! and harmonica

laden, I Wanna Be Your Caveman.

Evel treats his red vintage Farfsawith as little respect as you dare

imagine. One second its falling intothe front row, the next its upside

down on his shoulder as he punches

chords. The fact this keyboard is

still alive after a song, let alone the

years its been in Evels possession

is a miracle.

It feels late as they depart leavingtrash(boned)equipment all over the

stage. However, in this part of the

world the night is still young and

we almost forget, we havent even

started playing records! Alongside

Stay Sick, there are three more dee-

jays ripping it up. Viennas own Phil

Vega$, Germanys fnest, Traxel,wax spinning heavyweight and

founder of SoundFlat Records,

plus DJ Lemon Squeezer, a self

confessed Cramps addict.

We spin, the bar plies us with rum,

the bar spins! The rider seemingly

never ends and the crowd doesnt

thin out. Stay Sick is in love with

Austria. I lean and shout in Chris

ear, Things just dont get much

better than this! followed forgetfully

by, Whats that? Oh fuck. yeah,

as he reminds me this is ONLY the

start and weve got two more

dates to go in Graz and Aenz!!!England maybe freezing but

Austria is on fre!


7/20

Releasedin68, thesameyearas2001:aSpaceOdyssey. ThisvastlysuperiorB-moviewinsoverthebloatedKubrickfartfor5good

reasons:1. 90minutesvs139 minutes

2. Dialoguewrittenbytheco-creatorofthesixtiesBatmantvseries

3.ABondgirl DominofromThunderballwascast, notforheractingchopsbutforherabilityto

wearbaco-foildressesasherroleascosmic-nurse

4.AnAcidPsychGaragetheme.WritenbyCharlesFoxandlatercoveredbytheFuzztones,thisfuzz&fluteclassic rivals the BlobforbestB-movietune.

5. CheapmodelsspaceshipsthataremoreThunderbirdthan StarWars

6.Properaliensvsamonotonousstandbylight

FilmedinJapan withamostlyAmericancast(many oftheextraswereUSsoldie

rsfromYokataAirbase), thissci-fi base-under-siegehasmoreplot-holesthanplot.The story is-anasteroid isonacollisioncourseforEarth,likeintheBruisedWillisfilmArmegedeon.Ateamissentup todrillaholeinthemeteor, likeinthe filmArmegedeon,and putanuclear

chargeinandblowitup, like inthefilwellyougetthepicture.ButwherethisfilmsdiffersfromthebigA,isgreenslime wibblymidget

aliens(perhapsinthesequel,huhMrBruckheimer?).Theastro-heroesreturntoSpacestationGamma3, bringingbackgreenalienspunk. Itmutates

intoangryspacesquid,hungryforelectricitydadadaaaaahhh

TheresalovetrianglebetweenBondGirl, hernewBF:Vincethelugheaded stationcommander, andherex:Jackanarrogant,ginger-quiffedCuprinolsupermanwithapenchantforinappropriatethumbs-ups.

With dialoguesostiltedandactingsowoodeditmightaswellbe inthegardenfurnitureisleatB&Q.For example,BondGirlstaresatablackenedsmokingcorpse andannouncesherprofessionaldiagnosishesdead. Noshit!

Aridiculousplanofgettingridofthe

one-eyedocto-blobsinvolvingagiantMag-litegoeshorriblywrong(who-da-thunk-it?)soanepiczero-gravspacefirefightensues. EPICSTUFF!!!

B -M O V I E O F T H E M O N T HGreen Slime


8/20

R.I.P. Johnny Otis28/12/21 17/01/12

Johnny Otis; bandleader,drummer, vibes-man, DJ, T.V.host, preacher: Otis is creditedas the Godfather of R&B, andnot without reason. Get this;

beside his own considerablecontributions to rock androll history, Johnny Otis isresponsible for turning upenough talent to keep anyreasonably sized record labelhappy for at least a decade, ortwo.Born in 1921 to a family of

Greek immigrants and growing up innorthern California, Otis soon decidedhe felt a closer connection to the localblack community than he did to his ownwhite neighbours. Learning the drumsand playing with local jazz bands led Otis

to put his own band together. By the timeWWII was over, Otis had a successful

outfit, playing blues inflected jazz andswing, with a band stripped down by thenew economic necessity a blueprint formany R&B bands to come.


9/20

Otis struck gold in the late40s when he recruiteda 13 year old singer,Little Ester Phillips, tohis orchestra (the band

could also boast a certainWynonie Harris at the time).As a talent scout for labelssuch as Cincinnatis Kingrecords, Otis continued tomine a rich seam of talentover the coming decade,unearthing Jackie Wilson,Big Jay McNeely, Little

Richard, Little Willie Johnand Etta James (who was

neitherbignorlittle,apparently),

tonameafew.

In1951,Otis introducedalittlek

nownsingertoapairof

buddingsongwritersBigMam

aThornton,meet Leiber

andStoller.ThepairlikedBigMa

maand,decidingtowrite

a dittyfor her, penned Hound Dog in 15 minutes!The

recordingsessionwassettobep

roducedbyJohnnyOtis,

butthedrummerthatwasbooke

dwasnotuptoscratch.

Otissatinondrumsforwhatwas

tobecomeacornerstone

ofrockandroll,allowingLeiber&

Stollertheirfirstchance

behindthedesk.Historywasmad

e.

OtisbandscoredR&Bhitsthrou

ghoutthefiftiesandinto

theearlysixties,hisbiggestbeing

WillieandtheHandJive.

Hecontinuedtomakerecordsintothe70

s,whiledabbling

inlocalpoliticsandreligion,butitisforhisoutputfrom

the

mid-fortiestothelatefiftiesthat

werememberhimmost

fondly.Checkoutthew

onderfulmusicofthe

JohnnyOtisOrchestraontheDoxy

records

compilationTheJohnnyOtisSho

w.

RockonJohnny.

ShamblinSexton


10/20

raquelwelch


11/20


12/20


13/20


14/20

These

are notthe

officialviewsofStay Sick,justabitterlittlewhinger.

1.LUXURYFood: Asparagus expensiveandleavesyouwith abland

soapyflavourinyourmouthmmmm?

Oh, andthe finalstinginthetailis

pissthatsmellsofburntrubber,

howisthatpossible? Samegoes withexpensiveversionsofnormalveg,

theyareeithersmaller,likeshallots

orchantenaycarrots, oradifferent

colour likeblue potatoesandpurple

sproutingbroccoli guesswhat?

stilltastesofbroccoli.Chocolate

girlsgoloopyforit, apparentlyit

releasesthesame endorphinsasthe

onesafter sex. Illtake thelatter

everytimeover aCadburysfinger(nudge nudgewinkwink)

2.TheRollingStones Iknow. Itsbeenhangingover meall

mylife,timeto confess.TheStones

donothingforme.Theyrippedof

classic blues songsbadly (andIlove

theoriginalChessrecords)take

HowlinWolfsLittleRedRoosterfor

example, eventheirnameis ripped

offfromaMuddyWaterssong. Even

coveringtheBeatles IWannabe

yourManfortheirsecondsingle,

clearingupthatage oldBeatlesvs

Stonesdebate. Comparingthemis

likecomparingEinsteinwithanape

scratchinghisnuts. Anythingafter

BeggarsBanquet isabsolutetosh.They dontevenhavethedecencyto

die(exceptBrian, Iguess)

3.WillFerrellcomedygeniusorunfunnychancer,

renownforad libbingbarelyamusing,infantile,flaccid banter. Sticktothescript,jackass!4.Psych Ilovethe sixties:garage, beat,mod, frat butthat psychedelicLSD wish-washofsitar, reverb-drenchedgirlysingingand tripped outlyricsabouttheicecreamsuncrying cosmictearsintoabucketofpeace,justgrateson mewhichleadsmeto

5.PinkFloyddarksideofthemoonis6thformpoetry settoanover-workedsoundtrack,alltheearlystuffistweenonsenseandohsovery, veryBritish,whatwhat.NowonderSydwentmental. Itallleaves meuncomfortablenumb(apartfromLuciferSam, I will givethemthat)

6.Football Ineverhad ateamwhenI wasakidsowithoutsomeonetoback, itsjust aloadofoverpaidapesplayingasimplegameofluck.2-1, 1-0,0-0draw, eventhescoresareboring.Ifyou hangaroundmusicians(like Ido),conversationwillalwaysendupwithachataboutfootieandIend upfeeling aswelcome asaleperatapicnic.

10ThingsIJust

DontGet


15/20

7. Twitter I have tried fora month now, and I have no ideawhat its for. An inferior versionof facebook, which is an inferiorversion of real life. People raveabout it but I just dont have thatmuch to say. It just highlights how

boring and self-obsessed people are.But if you are into it then find me at#staysickuk

8. 2001: a Space

Odyssey- living on a greasydiet of B-movie sci-fi trash may havetainted my views on this pretentious

swollen 3 hour snorefest. If RogerCorman had produced it he wouldhave sliced it down to 90mins andadded a cyber space squid attack.And Russ Meyer would have addedsome anti-grav boobage. You mightas well string up your Airfix models,and spend an evening watching themslowly spin whilst muttering Dave

under your breath. Its 2012 now, sowheres my spaceship, Mr Kubrick?

9. The Eighties- what the fuckhappened between Punks implosionand Grunges explosion? A wash ofdreary new romantic bullshit andthe colourful meaninglessness ofMTV, which was like being shot in

the face with a glitter gun. I nowknow it wasnt all bad, the birthof hip-hop, Joy Division, Gang ofFour, the Cramps (obviously), theViolent Femmes, Aussie Rockers RadioBirdman & The Saints, Psychobilly,the Garage revivalists like BillyChildish and Thee Milkshakes, TheMummies & The Fuzztones, The Gun

Club. And the awesome goth voodooblues of THE BIRTHDAY PARTY whichsingle-handedly makes up for all theMadonna, Michel Jackson, Fame, shitsynth & sparkle and pop music ofthat decade.

10.Champagne/Sparkling

Wine Irealisedat theripeoldage of25,that sparklingwine isthe

pissofthe Devil.Itis suchashow

offanddeliversnothing buta dry

(orshouldI sayBrut-al) aftertastesimilar tobleach,andthemost unfair

hangovers-to-drinks-drunkratio

knownto man.People(bywhichImean

girls)seeitasA BITOFFUN.When

did drinkingthisshit becomefun?

Becauseofthebubbles?Youmightas

welldownabottleofMatey.Youd

bebetteroffstickingaMarlborough

SauvignonBlancinaSodaStream

(othercrushinglymediocre80s

crazesare available). Istillhaveso

many friendswhowakeupthenext day,

sickintheirhairand aheadache like

arapist onredbullisskull-fucking

them, andnotblametheonethingthey

dontusuallydrink:

Ihad acouple ofbeers(asusual), 3

glassesofProsecco(cos itwasAnnas

birthday), andhalfabottleofwhitewine(asusual).SowhydoIfeelso

bad? CaseClosed!


16/20

Th e sh a d o ws wer e clo s in g i n , a n d I co u l d se e t h r o u g h t h e

mis t , t he ir br u i sed, bl eeding bod ies . The ir f ea t u r es o oz ing

down t he ir f aces , s t a ined wit h a mix o f

con g eal ed bl oo d an d pus s . They inched

cl o s e r a n d cl o s er . Hu n d r ed s o f t h em, a n d

t hey meaned bus ines s , i f t he ir bus ines s

wa s t ea r in g f o l k s l i mb f r o m l i mb. I s wu n g

a p u n ch a t o n e a n d my h a n d j u s t p a s s ed

t h r o u g h h im, l i k e t e a t h r o u g h a vica r . I h a d

a f is t f u l l o ' g u t s , bu t I k ep t o n s win g i n g

an d t hey k ept 'a comin '. Cl awing a t I vy an d

me, h u n d r ed s o f bo n y f in g e r s s cr a t ch in g

a n d p u l l in g . On e g o t me r o u n d t h e n eck a n d

I h ea r d I vy s cr ea m. I wa s p in n ed t o t h e

g r o u nd an d j u s t a s o n e o f t h es e g o of ba l l s

wa s a bo u t t o bit e, t h e Ch u r ch bel l s s t a r t ed

r in g in g .

If you want to live,you must die!!!a punk noir periodical

episode 4:

Myn ame's Chris Sick,a man

who

whistl es his own tun es and

h er e's

th es ong s o far .I 'vebeen f

r amed

for th emur der ofa girl ca

ll ed

Ivy,a girl a s dang er ous a s

a tig er

with a h ang over ,anda s bea

utiful

a s a warmwhiskeyin wint er .I g o

t o a Speakea syt o cl ear my

h ea d

with a fewshot s ofrum.S o

me

g oon kn o cks meout andI

end

up wearin g a coffin .I g et b

u st ed

out ,andcr awl fr omth egr

ave,

andwh adya kn owit ! it 's Iv

ywith

th eshovel .But th er e'sn o timet o

fin dout h owa girl can g o

fr om

corp s et o a 60mph in onen

ight .

Wewer esurroundedbysh a

dows ,

andth eywer eg ettin g cl o s e

r ."th e

Endis comin g"Ivyex cl aime

d,I

ju st h opedshewa s wr ong e

r th an

midg et porn .Th at 's myst or

y,you

g ot a bett er on e!


17/20

Thema s s es

r et r ea t ed,l ike

kids being ca l l ed

in fo r din er , g o ing

ba ckt o a g r a ve,

ea ch s t a r t edbur r owing with

their bl eeding

fing er s ,a nd

ba th ing deep in t o themud l ikes wines

in s ummer . I l o okedover t o I vywho

wa s s ca r edbu t a l ive.

"comeon , weg o t t a g et o u t t a her e"a ndI wa s n 't g onna a r g uewith tha t .

Ico u l ds eet h el ig h t s o fa t ruckin t h edis t a nce,coming s t ra ig h t fo ru s .Wit h a n appet is erl iket h a t ,Iwa s n 't g o ing t o wa it fo rt h ema in cou rs e.

S o wes t a rt edrunn ing awayfromt h echu rch .No t knowing wheret o g o weendedup in a dea dend,t h eh ig h churchya rd wa l l s bl o cking o u rp a t h .Thet rucks creechedt o a h a l t a nda do zen p ries t s j umpedou t ,t h eirfa ces

cover ed likeninj a s ,ninj a s

with s emi- aut omatics .

I

kn ewwhat wa s coming

,I

h a dpl ayedthis g ameb

ef or e.

With a dea dlysil en ce,t

h ey

a dvanced,If elt th ech

illin g

bl owof a crucifix t o t

h e

ba ckof myn eckan dI wa s

out col der th an a p enguin's

p ecker (I mean beakyo

u

bun ch o'p ervert s !) .

S O WHO ARE THE NI NJ AVI CARS ?

WHO'S CONTROLLI NG THE

ARMY OF UNDEAD?

WHAT WI LL HAP P EN TO

S I CK AND I VY?


18/20

RoycePorteratTheBostonArmsRockabillyClub03/03/12

It'sSaturdaynightandthe15thAnniversaryPartyoftheBostonArmsRockabillyClubatTufnell

ParkLondon.UpstairsattheDomethevenueispackedfullofrockersfromfarandwide,anticipatinganightofwildmusicandthechancetoseerockabillylegendRoycePorter.GuestDJskickthenightoffasthe

placellsup,followedbytheRhythmRiverTriowhoplayagreatsettowarm

uptheexcitedcrowd.TheAudienceishushedascompereSteveStackO'WaxannouncesRoycePortertothestage,backedbyanallstarbandincludingmembersofCarlosandtheBandidos,legendaryguitaristDarrelHighamandImeldaMay!ThisrockabillystarfromSweetwaterTexasis72yearsoldbutbeltsouth

issongsincludingclassics'YesIDo','Lookin'and'AWomanCanMakeyouBlue'likeit's1956!HisvoicesoundsgreatandthebandcomplimenthimperfectlywithDarrelandImeldaalsotakingturnstoperformsongs.

Roycerecordedhis1stsingleagedjust17andearned$350anightforhisliveshowstravellingaroundinhis1949Ford.HehasplayedalongsideElvisPresley,metmostoftheearlySunrecordingartistsandhasbeenfriendswithDollyParton,WaylonJennings,WandaJackson,DeanBeardandJohnnyCashtonameafew.Hehasalsowritten13no.1singlesandproducedvariousrecordingsartists.AshissetdrawstoacloseresidentDJsDaveCrozierandCosmicKeithkeepthepartygoingplayinghotboppers,jiversandstro

llersonoriginal45s.ThedanceoorisbusyasMrPortersignsautographsandtalkstofansforwelloveranhour.Atruegentlemanandwellworthseeinglive. ThenightcomestoanendintheearlyhoursofSundaymorning,afantasticshowandgreatatmosphere.IfhereturnstotheUKdoIplanonseeinghimagain?..YesIDo!

Rockin'Ratman


19/20

the bettie page


20/20

aFREEpodcast

FoRallyou

RockERs,RollERs,

50thRowbacks,60

GaRaGEZombiEs,

poisonivys,thEblack

lEathERJackEtclad,

punks,vinyla

ddicts,

poolshaRks,iGGys

andshakERs!!!

form

oregreattunescheck out t

heSt aySic

k

RadioS

howon iTunes

stay sick fanzine issue 9

Documents