start date: 24/10/2008(friday) – end date;- april
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Start date: 24/10/2008(Friday) End date;- April 3, 2009( Friday)
POLYMORPH- Vasanth Adithya.J
I AM AN EMPLOYER
As I walk besides the lawn after parking the car under the shade next to the red car ownedby Mr. Nair, I see grass being felled with a stick by Gangadhar while the sprinklers
nourish the grass. What a man he is? He nourishes the grass using fertilizers and turnson the sprinklers but yet he chops them when they are too lengthy He uproots them to
make it look even. What a paradox. He gives and he takes by playing god to the greenstretch of lawn that surrounds my office. Does he play god or does god play puppet on
him? He merely does his duty without any rational thought. I appreciate him and
sometimes envy him for not thinking the way I do. A thinking mind is like a charged
electron, restless to lose its affinity, its charge to become stable. Yet I seek that stability. Ihave deduced that it is futile to take a mission towards stability but I must do as the
Gangadhar does till stability finds me. The secrets lie bundled up with time. As it
unfolds it expresses its intent
Before enlightenment, Chop wood, fetch water.
After Enlightenment, Chop wood, fetch water.
I remembered these lines in a book that I read last night. I love poems, I decided to write
one tonight.
I walk a little further to see people stand up and wish their employer beneath the boardthat reads Science and technology Entrepreneurs Park. I smile. Smile Its a hard tosmile for a man of my prudence. (I presume that I m prudent enough) But yet I manage to
bring the curve on my lip, I am human and yet I am not! I seek to find the other not-so
human part of me. I m sure its not diabolic but a philosophic alter that drowns me inethereal wisdom before I swim back to the shores of reality.
The doors to our office are open. The door is painted blue from inside; Who would want
a blue door for an office? A blue door without a bolt in the corner! The UPS switchedon, the Servers busy transferring data from one PC to another and people bustling with
targets in their mind. I head towards my throne. Sit in comfort and unfold my laptop to
send mails. After I click Send I look at the newspapers lying on my table. The aromapulls my hand towards it.
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Headlines
Los Angeles:Building hopes bags Oscar
Building hopes, a movie based on a true life story of a construction labourer in India
bag Oscar
I opened the 6th sheet.
Toronto: Bose-Einstein condensate and Samadhi; an insight into the findings of
Prof.Erwin and Phillip..
Well, this was about the author of the book that I began reading last night. There is onlyone chapter left to read, Chapter 6,Polymorphed in time and Consciousness.
Page 2
National News
Cochin:Mystery shrouds over mans death.
A 42 year old man was found dead under mysterious circumstances near the hillock. Aboulder seemed to be lying on corpse
I am an addict like all humans. I am addicted to the smell of fresh newspaper and coffee.It kindles words and thoughts and squeezes the grey matter that extra bit when it is
needed at 3 am. There is truly some divine connection between caffeine and late nights!
I take a sip of water and then begin to work piously. Scores of people enter in data into
the polymorph software for us without any thought of future or past. Polymorph gives
them back as much as they give to it by entering data. The reward is monetary. Strikingly
parallel to the Karma theory! They key in only the present and wait piously for their
paydays. They keep their heads still, eyes focused onto the monitor and their fingers
moving rapidly all over the keyboard. Their minds I cannot peep into their minds but I
m sure there is something motivating them. They do their duty in hope.I play god and god plays puppet again!
At 3 pm I sipped another dosage of caffeine and then noticed Pavan with a bunch ofnewspapers and magazines with him.
How is everything? I questioned Pavan
Good! I m happy, everything is great! Thank you he replied. .
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The hierarchy within the organization is structured perfectly; each person plays his role
systematically. Well I would stop being centric at this point of time and introduce you to
other people who sow and reap within these walls. Next to me sits Karthik, apercussionist and lover of music. Now you might ask Who isnt a lover of music?
But to love something, one has to live for it, be sustained by it and dedicate everything
for it, one has to be it. He is one of the latter kinds. His desires are simple and realisticthat can be en-cashed momentarily. He loads batches of images into the server and
prepares excel sheets. He again workspiously.Its 1 pm now lets cross Row Sigma, rowZion and Delta to the lady who sits and pushes her pen across sheets of paper piled up tobe paid for the day. Her dazzling ear rings (of which she has no count) speak louder than
her, her straight words penetrate through the void in the office. An ardent chuckles freak,
who hands over food coupons to the scores of employees each afternoon, is fondly called
madcap! Shekar took the coupon in his hand and raised his hand to say thank you. Wehave a bunch of physically challenged employees. Ramya, workspiously too.
Two men were outside the office at 5 PM. A dark man dressed in black with a patch over
his eye and another stout man. The dark man walked slowly and stood beside the bluedoor. He touched the door softly with his hand.
Whom do you want sir? I questioned
He smiled and then walked back looking at the door while the stout man was in tears.
Move left crossing over seven systems in Row alpha to find Harish, a lad in his early
twenties but dreams as magnanimous as a galaxy. A self-learnt entrepreneur, a dreamer
and a true worker, he enters data into the excel sheet. Oh my! The word is missing.
Piously
Now you must be wondering, Why does this word peep out often? Well if you are a
keen observer you must have noted that this word accompanies when it is referred to
someone working.
Work = worship
How?
Why?
Well, everything cant be told in a short story or even in a big encyclopedia, there are
something s you have to see for yourself, rather feel to understand it.
The ceiling fan do not rotate in unison, some are faster than the others while the oneabove Ramya is paralyzed. Sometimes they make only noise. She used to complain
months ago but now she has learnt to live without it! (I still presume). They start rotating
from 9 am and they go on till we switch it off at the end of the day. They work.
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Pious?
A fan does not have consciousness. Or does it? How could you call it working piously?
Ah! I know these are a sound and rational arguments given by rational men.
I would say rationality is not an essential ingredient of work. Well, we all work for a
cluster of reasons such as food, shelter, clothing and all that follows it.
Work itself does not have any reason to be done. Its a mere lever in the bigger universalSystem.
The tea lady comes in at 3 30 pm. A hundred cups are consumed and then she pours in
Caffeine in to the flask for me to consume at different points in time in a day. She doesit
You know by now. Yes. Piously.
At 5 30 pm the fan s are turned off. Uma enters with a broom and cleans the 1300 square
foot floor. After the broom, the mop comes into action. She swings it from right to left onthe floor and then immersing it into a bucket of water, she swings again. After the mop,
the cleaning cloth comes into action. She gently sprays the cleaning liquid on each
computer screen and then cleans it with a yellow cloth.
Piously
And then its time for me to hand over the wages! Karthik extracts SQL queries and thensends it across to Ramya who fills in the amount in the sheets and then people collect
their sheets andpiously wait for their turn. Its like playing ping pong with numbers in a
computer. The amount I pay depends on the amount she fills, in turn which is dependanton the query which Karthik sends, which is dependant on the work people dopiously.
It all boils down to work!
After all the updates that is loaded into cyberspace, the final dosage of caffeine is emptied
and after a round of Nair s stories of his growing firm, we lock the doors and walk downthe dark lane looking for the moon in the sky. I didnt find it. The Dark clouds had
coverer it. I instead found a million stars. I counted a few and counting gave me
contentment and stability.
This is daily ritual that I perform.
Piously
In the car, the music plays loud and the clock displayed the date to be 13 th of Friday,
while the security guards frown in discontent.I place the newspaper inside and I listen to
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music as everyone does. Is listening to music a crime? The guards frowned again while I
looked for the moon through the pane.
Piously
---------------
I AM A LABOURER
I was born in Kallakuruchi in Tamil Nadu. I dont know when. My mother thinks its 1983
and so do I. She named me Selvam which means wealth in Tamil! Am I her wealth? I
still remember the day when we boarded a train to the city on a rainy evening. My fathercarried his only possessions; the masons bowl and a few instruments along with a torn
dhoti. My mother carried my 20 day old infant brother wrapped in her only cotton saree
and I stood half naked without a shirt holding her hands as a kid knowing nothing about
the future. I was happy that we were going on a train but I was leaving behind mygrandmother in the village. It hurt me a bit. My mother held my hand and walked into the
train following my father. Inside, there were hundreds of men and women standing, therewas not an inch of space. There was room only to put your foot on the metal floors and a
little room to breathe inside a closed train. The rains! They make the windows to work ina train! Magical!If you lift your leg when it pains, the space is swallowed by the neigbours giant foot.
After a few times of travel I have grasped the Rules of general compartment train
journey.
1. Never lift your foot even when in pain
2. Sleep is not related to posture, when you re tired you can sleep with one leg on thefloor, one hand on a rod or a nearby human, even when scores of infants weep in hunger.
3. Do not even think about heading to the latrine, thinking only causes more urge
After 8 hours of ordeal we were deported in a colder place where my father had to meethis master for work. I was shivering and until then I had never felt a need for a shirt
badly. I was still in semi consciousness when we walked out of the station. The place
looked strange and people talked in an unknown dialect.
My father asked us to stand in a corner while he went near the wall, lifted a black heavy
material and rotated a plastic disc with numbers imprinted inside them.Later down the
years I understood that it was a telephone! He came back and on his black face I couldsense displeasure. His master had not picked up the phone and we were stranded in a new
city not knowing where to go. I could hear my mother chant Muruga.. Muruga
We sat in the station till 9 45 am, till the frost was killed by sun light that peeped from the
horizon. My father called again and we were summoned to head to some construction
site. We boarded a red bus and landed in the worksite.
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It was a big building that we were about to work on, the size of my whole village. Sand
was piled up in heaps besides the concrete blocks.
This will be you work site said a man in his thirties spitting paan on the floor. He wasthe construction engineer, a balding man with red teeth and 7 gold rings.
Why did Red-tooth miss out the other three fingers? I always questioned my mother
and giggled lying under the tarpaulin gazing at the stars.He is our master, dont make fun of him son, we eat today because of the work he gave
us to do. Work is worship son My mother replied touching my sand filled hair I can
still feel her touch to this day. The warmth she gave, the food she made and the eternallove blended in all her deeds, gave me life.
Thud
I remember that concrete block still on my face. It seems like yesterday. My father threw
the blocks to me and I would pass it on to another man standing far away. It was my first
day and my reflexes werent activated yet. I had piously turned to throw a block and
before I turned back to my father it had hit my face.
Thud
I was blinded for a week completely and the cold winter wind caused it to pain even
more. In the nights we used to lie under a red tarpaulin cuddled under a torn rug and I
could hear my tiny brother weep all night. My eye had swollen and the pain started toooze out from my left eye before it ate away my vision a few days later. My mother
caressed my eye with her soft touch when I was asleep hoping that my vision would be
retrieved. She wept at nights. So did I. But things change with time and when one works,time does fly. Only my right eye is piously functional to this day!
The tarpaulin became our home for the next 2 years. I began to learn the art of catchingconcrete blocks, bricks, and water cemented walls and even to cut wood for the doors and
windows. I used to place the wood on my right foot and then saw it till it split open
leaving behind granules of wood and frames to be cemented along the doors andwindows.
6 months passed by and my reflexes was at its best, even when my left eye was a rebel I
could catch a brick without much thinking to do. My hands worked autonomously and ofcoursepiously!
The basement and the administrative building had been completed by then and my tiny brother had grown a bit. He walked bare-footed on the stone-filled path from the
tarpaulin to the work-site to play with stones, sticks and sand. He played till my mother
returned from the basement or my father returned from the administrative building. I usedto arrange bricks one over another, cement them as per Red-tooths instruction till
evening. In the evenings, my father and I would leave my brother at our home and then
work for the carpenters by sawing wood at the neighbouring building. We worked so that
we could save money to go to our village next year.
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We worked without a break; I never knew Sundays are holidays till recently. But you see,
for labourers like me the calendar doesnt make any sense. We toil all round the yearexcept for the one week where we would go to out native towns and villages to be with
our loved ones.
It was a dark night; the moon was on a vacation for days now. The clouds had abducted
her to keep her in solace and tranquility. I was walking alone after finishing my
carpentry. I walked with much strain; my foot had developed a big clot. The toe hadturned blue. Each night I placed the plywood that needs to be cut accurately on the right
toe and cut it in ease and then only when I walk down the lane, pain conquered it. I was
limping and in the darkness I could see a child walking near me. It was my brother Mani.
He came to me and held my hand tight. I touched his cold face and saw spots all over hisbody. I took him to the near-by shop which sold cakes, biscuits and Beedis for the
labourers like me. I made him sit on the stone slab and got a bun with the money the
carpenter had paid me. I gave him the bun and a cloud of smoke chocked me. I heard a
familiar voice.
What are you doing here? Are you not working?
I looked up. It was red-tooth with a cigarette in his hand and a lady dressed in pink next
to him. He gave a smile that made the red tooth of his shine like diamonds from inside. I
did not answer. I was staring at the bun and my eye was radiating anger.
You think you re smart? I asked you something. Do you hear me hero?
I still did not speak a word but instead held my brothers soft hand firmly. He looked at
the lady beside him and in anger he threw the lit cigarette on me. He had turned mad and
violent. And when he began to light another cigarette I spoke out.
Sir, My brother is ill, I came here to feed him, and will you please settle our dues? Weneed to go to our village next month
His madness multiplied, He yelled, hooted, spat and then took a drag from the cigarette.
I stared right into his eye. He spat again and then smoke emerged out from beneath hisred-stained tooth onto my face. I stared at him again and then he lost his temper and as a
result I lost my right hand for a month. He punched me hard on my face and then pushed
me to the floor. My sleek body rolled across the road hitting the lamp-post and finallycoming to a halt. Even when my hand was not moving when I stood up, I felt like a
warrior. My face was bleeding and I stood up and realized my hand was wobbling in thin
air. I had no control over it. I again stared at Red-Tooth while he fled on his bike with thelady behind him.
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It still feels like yesterday, the pain in my handHis blows hadnt made me weak but
instead had strengthened me from within. Inside my tender skin and brittle bones was an
unshakable energy that made me sustain brutality.
The following day Red-tooth avoided looking at me or my father. For the one month
which I didnt work, I hatched a conspiracy inside my head, a conspiracy to rewrite thedestiny of poor labourers like my father, a conspiracy to redefine life and a conspiracy to
defeat and break open Red-Tooth. I trained my body and mind towards achieving this
goal. I conspiredPiously!
-------/-----------
I AM A LOVER
I was not a born poet but now I am and she is my poem. She sits inside of me and pushesthose nectar filled words out into the paper. Magical! Only she can do it. I love her.Madly, truly, deeply and I dont know why I love her. Irrational! Isnt it? Even without
her beside me I can smell her hair, I can sense her around! She is in me! When did she
get in and for what reason? I thought I was an intellect until I fell in love with her. Shecrushed it with her blazing eyes, put her foot on my pride and then squeezed life out of
me and then blessed me with her tender kiss. Her eyes spoke a thousand words that night.
It spoke not to my ears but to my heart.
Love doesnt hit you on the first sight! It takes time before you realize that youre in
bliss. I was an egoistic, a hedonistic-chauvinist and it was she who made me a pro-
feminist! And here I merely tell you my story without any flamboyant words whichauthors use.
The year was 1979. I was the love gods infidel! I never believed that that people couldfall in love until September 27th that year. I was a confidant lad who hated people who
weep and say that they ll do anything for their loved ones. Insane! Men get possessedwhen they are in love
On October 23rd 1976, I was at Chanakya Puri, New Delhi. I was a radical. I sat in the
corridor listening to the speeches of the liberals who wanted to privatize the economy.We were still a socialist then! A man with a big moustache and a tinted cooler wanted
India to be a free economy. He was hailed as a Liberal and a Democrat by the pro-
liberals! I hated him, that big stout animal that would sell my motherland to
Multinationals. And from the corridors I raised my voice. It echoed. He hardly respondedbut she did. Preethi was an active participant of the Free world seminar organized by the
Gratin Trust to indoctrinate its liberal ideologies. She was a pro- liberal. She thought I
was a rebel, a savage who does not know to dine with a fork and a spoon. I am! I agree.To this day I prefer eating the food she cooks with my own hands. I was not the one who
spoke glorious terms for the welfare of the people in the big microphone set-up for public
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meetings and then eats with fork and spoon with the business men who bribed and struck
magnanimous profits. I was a Savage! I am a savage! I will die a Savage and she made
me a lover!
She was unknowingly a part of me till the 27 th of September 1979. We just couldnt stand
each others viewpoints till it merged in unity! Even though she was strong on her views,she was a liberal by heart. She was humane as she is till this day. Her heart is tender as a
new born infants soft hands. She was bold, dynamic and truthful! And for me she was
Beautiful!
A mans perceptions change during the years, but mine has remained constant! She is and
will always remain beautiful for beauty is the merciful grace, the heart-splitting ray of life
in her.
It was a Tuesday which broke open the nature s secret. It was the day when she left for
her village and my heart felt heavy. I missed her voice. I missed her criticisms. I missed
her motherly suggestions. I missed her in totality. For a week I was starved, deprived ofher. I used to lie alone on the roof at nights in the darkness looking at the sky to find her
and hoping for the stars to convey my message. There were no SMSs like the kids ofthese days have! She appeared, only in vivid dreams at 4 am. I used to wake up and look
at the sky again and then pull up the blanket and try hard to continue the dream. I worked
hard during the day, but my nights were hard to sustain. Thoughts haunted every possible
nano-second. 3 years of addiction and then she goes out! It is hard for a man who hasfallen in love without his knowledge. My heart felt heavier on the 26 th night. I just wanted
to live besides her, giver her all that she needs. No other feelings attached!
27th morning was the day to be marked in my calendar. On the 27 th Ipiously turned out to
be a love god worshipper and then a week later I turned out to be the love god himself.
It was early in the morning. I opened my door while my mother called out for me from
the kitchen. Bright sun-light entered the hall from the door. She stood like an angel in the
sun-light wearing a red dress. She spoke nothing and her eyes were wet. Tears flowed.Pent-up emotions radiated from her tender face. She wept constantly without a reason. I
hugged her and then time froze.
My mother stood in awe behind me with a cup of coffee. Bedazzled! Preethi then looked
up touched her Savages face in compassion and rested her forehead on my chest. Time
froze again. She looked at my mother and moved backwards but I pulled her closer to the place where she originally belongs; my heart! She knew it that I would express it
someday and 27th was the day.
It was the 12th of October; we visited a temple together. She walked besides me and then
we rested on a stone slab.
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I had a dream, I m afraid it has some significance. I m very afraid about it saidpreethi
Afraid? You my dear? Well. What was your dream? I replied.
I dreamt about a tree besides a river and two leaves fall down in to the river from thetree. The leaves dance in circles together floating on the water and then they depart with
time she said.
And what does it signify my dear? I questioned
I think we are the leaves, time might.. I m afraid.. exclaimed Preethi
I replied Time? Is time the culprit? Well dont you worry about dreams or its
significance; I shall dream about the leaves dancing tonight and make a smaller leaf
She smiled and then closed her eyes and then prayed. She prayed and only I could hearher pray from inside. She is as pure as nature inside, as melodious as music, as fierce as
the orange flame, as arrogant as me for she is my mirror image!
She opened her eyes and then questioned out of the blues
Why is the temple wall painted red and white?
Well, if you let me paint it, I would make it pink all over just for you! I replied. Pink is
her favorite color even to this day! Red and white makes pink!It was dark and on the way, a sudden rush of feelings hit my heart, like lightning it struck
inside. I paused for a moment and then took her hand, slipped a ring into her tender finger
and then kissed her hard on her lips. Time froze again and I became love god! And then Ilooked into her eyes and I whispered into her ear. She blushed and then I kissed her
again. The wetness still remains till today. Her hand was stuck to mine and then after a
minute she looked at my face, her eyes radiating love, she softly said You are truly a
savage! A lovable Savage! My own Savage
We then walked in unison till her home. She gave a lovely stare and then said Goodnight
I replied Well, A night without you wont be good enough
She didnt speak for a second and then she said Savage! I love you!
Time froze again!
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Preethis sister and brother were happy for us but Mahesh who is Preethis brother friend
didnt want us to get married. There was a constant fear persistent in her, the fear of us
departing.
It was a Friday evening and Mahesh stood near tree smearing the holy ash on his head
and putting a dot with red vermillion in the middle of his forehead. He stared at me whileI was walking down the lane.
I loved Ms. Preethipiously in 1979 and I still love her as my wife to this day.
----------------/---------------------------
I AM A PHYSICST
I walked down the aisle to find Erwin dressed in black. It was the final day of us workingin the laboratory as colleagues for he was heading to Canada the following day to publish
his works on the Bose Einstein condensate. He is truly a genius, a man who loves nature
and admires the marvels of the intelligent cosmos. He walked briskly and I followed himto meet Dr. Dominik, a Neurologist and an eminent psychiatrist. We were to observe an
interrogation of a man who claimed to have spiritual experiences since he was 15.
Dominik greeted us and said Gentlemen, This is Phatung from Indonesia, He s been
working as a Chef in China town since 1976 pointing at an Asian man sitting on a metal
chair inside room with Glass frames from which we could see him. He is 53 years old,lives alone and has frequent blackouts since a car mishap that injured his right temporal
lobe a few years ago. A clot was surgically removed and since then the blackouts haveincreased
Dominik looked at us pushing his brown spectacles closer to his eyes while Erwin askedAnd he claims to have spiritual experiences and predict peoples lives?
Yes, He does, people who worked with him agree that he was right on most things that
he predicted in the past, he had once told his work mate about his daughters death and
she died in a road accident a few months ago asserted Dominik.
AndWhat kind of spiritual experiences? I interrupted.
Phatung claims that during spiritual experiences his consciousness is subdued by an
powerful external ego which dictates commands to the consciousness making his body as
an instrument and during such experiences he claims to sense anything in the past or the
future. He claims that a jolt of energy passes from the bottom of his spine to the headwhere it dissipates spreading all over the body through the nerves. His eyes remains
closed, his blood pressure slightly higher than normal, his body stiff and his language,
vague like the verses of Nostardamus. said Dr. Dominik.
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Interesting said Erwin moving to his right taking a look at Phatung who sat idle on the
metal chair looking at the ceiling.
We are going to monitor Phatung by placing him under controlled environment and
well stimulate the experience by passing minute levels of voltage in his body. His bodyand his brains chemical reactions will be monitored as per his consent said the doctor
moving into the room leaving us to be mute spectators.
Phatung was made to lie down on the MRI while he was in a semi-conscious state. His
sleek eyes looked at the ceiling while his lip carried a smile of the Buddha that reflected
timeless wisdom. He turned his head towards me and then back towards the ceiling as if
the ceiling revealed untold secrets of my life, about time and consciousness. I wonderedif a mystic like Phatung knew the secrets of Modern Physics. I sometimes wish I was a
mystic, but to find out hidden truths as a scientist gives distinct pleasure to the subtle
mind. I dream about the known and work to find the unknown, that element which is the
base of all matter in the universe. I had a numerous questions for Phatung that ran like ademon process in my mind when I looked at him lying on the MRI. Is the universe agiant quantum computer? What is the relation between time and consciousness? What is
the nature of reality? Questions flow out like a chain reaction spun by my mind in seeks
of stability.
Phatung had undergone a series of tests performed on his body and his mind. The results
were plotted on a graph. Any amount of electricity could not recreate the experience and
Dr. Dominik confirmed that this could be more of a psychological issue rather than abiological one!
Could it be the accident or the clot that was removed that stimulated a chain of
chemical reactions in Phatungs brain? Erwin questioned.
I dont think so! He has been having such experiences and blackouts since he was 15.
This could be a psychological issue which causes biological changes exerted the doctor.
Phatung was still looking at the ceiling and the smile had not contracted a bit too. He had
his head still and then he stood up like a machine in a jiffy and walked towards us. Hisbreath was heavy, his eyes red and his face had marks in the places where the chords
were plugged in. He halted and then his body began to jolt randomly pushing things on
the table. He then yelled out in a vociferous tone 13 years, 10 months and 6 days Herepeated it thrice and then collapsed on the floor. Dominik and his team lifted him up and
administered him with some glucose. A few hours later Phatung asked forLotus Tea.
What is Lotus tea? I asked.
It is your consciousness He replied in broken English.
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I did not ask anything more. I concluded him to be a lunatic.
13 years, 10 months and 6 days
I thanked Dominik and then walked out talking to Erwin about G-string theory and thechanges in the Hadron bootstrap theory
Erwin flew to Toronto on a Tuesday. A week later his right leg was paralyzed and hencehis works were not published.
It was 9:07 pm. I piously rested my foot on the stairs to my apartment.
13years, 10 months, 6 days echoed.
The mind is a Pandoras Box. The more I analyze matter, the more it points to the mind
and vice versa.
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I AM A TANTRIK
Today is Friday the 13th an auspicious full moon day.
I now live in the city but when I was young I was raised to be a Vamacharin in central
Kerala. My grandfather told me that I was born on a no moon day in a hut several yearsago. 9 days after my birth, my mother expired. 15 days later my father died under
unknown circumstances. In memory of my mother I still preserve her pink saree she had
wrapped around me when I was an infant. Since then pink gave me my mothers aroma,her love and her presence. My grandfather took me with him to his village in Cannur
where he taught me the wisdom that men of my caste ought to learn. He was always
dressed in red or white and smeared ash all over his body. He believed I was his heir whowould master the art and propagate his fame. His beliefs are true. I am a successful
Tantrik today who lives in a hotel room in Bangalore city, altering the destinies of the
rich. I would say I dont rewrite destinies, but I would say I merely bring in alternates sothat it appears altered. The fact is that destiny cannot be altered as I always believe. I was
destined to be a Vamacharin and so am I today. I was sixteen and my grandfather dipped
his mortal body in the creek that ran past the village that later blended into the Arabian
Sea on a no moon day. He came out chanting a hymn and then wore a red Dhoti and awhite piece of cloth covering his upper body. While his mouth silently murmured the
sounds of the universe, his hands smeared the holy ash all over his torso and his forehead.
He later placed the red vermillion on his forehead where his eyebrows met closing hiseyes.
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After he had recited I asked him Why red Dhoti? Why white?
He opened his eyes and then looked into sky at the bright sun with his fingers clasped in aposition wherein he could look at the sun through his hands. He smiled and then said
Red signifies Shakti and white signifies Shiva! And we are the children of the god and
the goddess who weave reality by their mighty dance and hence we are clad in red andwhite!
Is that why the temple walls are painted red and white and not pink? I asked as alover of pink at the age of sixteen.
Yes he replied.
And why do you count those small little crystal beads while meditating? I asked.
It is just to keep count son, Everything in the universe has a count, a tempo, a phase in
which it moves in relation to our consciousness, just like how we have the counts andtempo in music son, Here it is called the Kaala gathi, the speed at which time moves. Allmovements or events in time are the dance of Shiva and Shakthi, the dance that created
the world.Counting also gives stability to your mind son, when your mind is in a state of
excitement, counting stabilizes. When you count you concentrate on one thing that iseverything that has attained many forms in its various manifestation.( polymorph) and
therefore counting accounts to meditation he said.
I looked at the blue sky and then walked back to the hut.
A vamacharin has to abide by the Brahma Yamala, a text containing details of the Left
Hand Practice of the Vamacharins and I am in a pursuit of attaining the wisdom in it.My grandfather had mastered it with the Pancha-makaras and in his rituals he offered
wine as libations (Madya), he also offered meat and fish and he sat meditating with his
hand clasped in a certain posture till sunrise. I sat in fear beside the river while hemeditated but now I do the same. My grandfather did not practice Maithuna which I had
practiced once.
I have always been a successful but the year was 1979. A man clad in saffron came tome. He had the holy ash smeared all over his forehead; his eyes bore the redness of the
apple and his pupil moved rapidly. He sat down in silence while I was offering flowers to
the Goddess. He waited patiently and then spoke out.
Guruji! I am Mahesh and I need a favour from you
How can I help you? I replied
Eh I am in love with a girl and .
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And? I questioned.
And she is getting married to someone else. I cant I cant let her go Mahesh saidwith his anger fuming in his breath.
Hmmm What is her name?
Preethi he said
And his?
Pavan he replied.
I scribbled down their names and then asked him Do you know her their date of
births?
21-7-57 and 13-5-55 he said without any thinking.
I threw the dice chanting the goddesss name thrice piously and then picked it up closing
my eyes. One two three I counted the positions of the planets touching each
finger with my thumb while he waited patiently and then I said Okay ! Come here on the
no moon day and I will take care of the rest
He placed a fifty rupee note beneath the goddesss idol and then looked at the idol of the
blue- skinned goddess who stood semi-nude with skulls garlanded, armored with swordsand a red tongue that hung from her mouth in vengeance, the goddess who drinks blood
and dances on the corpse with a weapon in her hand. He looked in fear and then asked GurujiDo you worship Kali?
Kali, Neeli, Chamundi.. I worship the trinity This is Neeli I told him looking into his
eyes. He stood up in reverence and then kneeled down at the idol pouring down hisintentions. He wept, his hands shivered and then he took a rose from the plate below and
then placed it at the idols foot piously. He seemed to have been hit hard by love, by fate
and by intentions! He stood up and then walked out backwards
Peoples lives are a mirage of their thoughts, a reflection of their mind that refracts and
manifests in different forms into their life like light in a kaleidoscope. If thy mind is a
flower, so will your deeds be soft, and your life, a scented garland!
13 days passed by, the night had arrived, the night where I had to alter fate. I placed wine
and then chanted for hours piously. The Goddess danced. The dark Clouds thundered. Allin piety!
Today again I am offering libations to the Goddess as I did years ago. The moon is bright
and the tides, high!
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----------------------------/------
I AM A LOVER
Two green leaves moved slowly drifting downwards from the branch of the tree. It moved
so slowly as if the effect of gravity had decreased. Both rotated in the air in symmetry,
and danced graciously in circular motion denoting eternal love and finally rested on thewater creating ripples all over. The water was still, motionless but yet it seemed to be the
water that nurtured the tree from which the leaves fell. When the leaves fell, the water
gained motion. Minutes later it began gushing swiftly and the leaves began to dance
again. Sunlight penetrated through the surface, making it shine like diamonds. The dancebecame swifter and when it almost reached its peak in unison, bright light blinded the
place and the sound of Conch resonated in the moist air. For a moment I was the leaf, Iwas the tree, I was the life giving river, I was everything, I was nothing, And then the
blue sky tore apart giving way to a big black boulder that rolled down crushing the
leaves. The boulder crushed the leaves, blocked the river, ripped through the trunk of the
tree, the blue sky turned darker and the sound of the conch turned into loud shrills ofPreethi.
It was 4:17 am. I woke up. The whole place looked dreamy. I still felt the boulder on my
head. Somehow it appeared to me that death was awaiting at my threshold. I walked
down to the kitchen and drank water. The light from the street managed to hit the wallnext to the kitchen. It was a no moon day. I stood idle looking at the light and then turned
the water tap on and splashed cold water on my face. Then I looked at the mirror. My eye
had turned red for no reason at all. I walked back to my bed thinking about the dream. Isat on the bed and then closed my eyes. I could hear her shrills, I could see her cry in
pain, I could sense them.
It was 9 20 am. I had applied for a clerical post at the Hindustan Patrika and I had an
appointment at 11 15 am. I dropped the white shirt I had to wear for the interview on the
chair. And then began eating the dosa which my mother had placed on the table. I gulpedsome water and then plugged the iron box to the switchboard. A loud noise was heard
from the outside the house. The transformer had exploded. Sparks were emitted from the
switch board and then the bulb exploded too. I moved back quickly but I put my foot on a
broken piece of glass from the bulb. My foot started to bleed profusely; I hopped to theroom to find cotton and tincture. I couldnt find it. I scanned through the cupboard and I
found some ash wrapped in piece of small newspaper. I looked at it and then placed it
back in the cupboard. Some one had placed it under my shirt. I thought it was my motherbut a few days later I found out that it was Mahesh who had once asked my mother for
one of my shirts to wear it for a wedding. My mother had told him to take it from my
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cupboard himself. I found a kerchief and tied it onto my foot. I yelled out for my mother.
I couldnt hear her. I limped and then walked back to the kitchen making sure that I dont
place my foot on the broken pieces of glass. She was not there but the stove was ignitedand the kitchen smelt of cooking gas. I turned off the stove and then opened the windows.
I saw my mother standing outside. I called out for her. She didnt hear. I then walked out
of the house slowly leaning across the wall. The floor had numerous pieces of glasses andblood stains. She stood still facing the wall. I called out for her. She didnt respond. I
pulled her and then found out that she was weeping.
What happened?
She was still crying. For a moment my mind had paused.
What happened ma?
Preethi she exclaimed. She has met with an accident, she is in the hospital
Who told you? I questioned
Mahesh she said.
I have never seen my mother cry. She had cried 8 days after my father had died. She was
numb for 7 days and the 8th day her silence broke. It took months for her to recover. Butnow I dont know why she cried. I dont know why I cried.
It was 11 15 am. I rushed to the hospital. She was in the Intensive Care Unit. I stoodwaiting at the door. I couldnt stop crying. At 3 pm I was allowed to see her. She was
covered with white clothing and her skull was fractured. She was unconscious. I knelt
besides her, touched her tender hand and then kissed it.
I had to become a clerk at 11 15 am on 16th February 1979, but I was made a guard for
the hospital doors by love, by fate or by hatched conspiracies on a no moon day. In 1979I wouldnt have believed it to be hatched conspiracies, but today I would say that love,
fate and conspiracies are the same thread by which the multi-hued life of a person is
weaved. It is much like the software I work on today. Polymorph
14 days later she came home. I had applied for another job at the Life insurance
Corporation and the interview was at 10:30 Am. I wanted to become an insurance agent.My mother had taken her out to the temple as it was a full moon day. I wore the same
white shirt and then boarded bus number 15 A. I purchased a ticket. Those were the days
when the ticket used to cost less than a rupee. I slipped it into my shirt pocket and thensat on the green seats of the government bus. 15 minutes later my stop had arrived. I got
down and a ticket checker demanded the ticket I had purchased. The bus moved emitting
diesel smoke into the atmosphere. I slipped my hand into my pocket. The ticket had
vanished. I scanned through every single pocket in my clothing, every single file I
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carried, the ticket was not found. The man in Khaki stood there combing his bald head
covered by three strands of hairs. I presume he imagined to have think manes. He
demanded the ticket even after I told him that I had lost it. He was under the veil of thegovernment employee attitude syndrome, a syndrome that plagues my nation even to this
day. I had to pay the fine after listening to his governmental advises on morality and
love!
It was 10:50 am, I rushed inside. The Life insurance Corporation had the biggest building
in those times. I caged myself inside the metallic lift and then pressed number 7. The lifthalted at fourth floor and then moved downwards again. I was irritated. I kept pressing
number seven constantly till it halted again on the ground floor. A lady with a big file got
inside. And then it moved upwards again finally reaching my destination. I hurried inside
and then stood at the doors looking at my watch.
11:15 am was displayed in my digital watch. I was a proud owner of a digital watch
on March 5th for in those times not many had digital watches.
Another man in Khaki came out calling my name. I went closer to the door and he spoke
out.
Are you Mr. Pavan?
Yes I replied.
I m sorry, Ms. Sumathi has been appointed as an agent for this zone. Better luck next
time he said pointing at the lady who had accompanied me in the lift.
If only I had not lost the ticket, if only the ticket checker had not given moralitydiscourses, if only if I had pressed number 7 a few seconds earlier, and today I would say
if only it was not a full moon day, I would have become an agent at the Life insurance
Corporation
I had to become an Agent at 10:30 am on March 5 th 1979,but I was made a guard for the
Corporation doors by unemployment, by fate or by hatched conspiracies on a full moon
day by the same thread of fate.
Some times life leaves hints to trace the path you treaded. Today is a Friday, the
thirteenth of March and a full moon day. I am piously waiting near the blue door at
Science and Technology Entrepreneurs Park Colourful boards gives me goodmemories.
Colourful boards
August 17, 1979 was also a full moon day. It was a memorable one though! On that day,
the moon made my life luminous. I was dressed in white and she wore a red saree. Flocks
of people had gathered at the temple. Hundreds of people had assembled for the occasion.
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Along the red and white painted walls, a decorated board read Preethi Weds Pavan
with a heart in between. The words were weaved out of colourful flowers. Her name was
made of red roses and mine was made of white jasmine and the heart, out of pink roses.It
was a colourful board, a sign board to my future.
Today I also saw a frail man chopping the grass while a tiny droplet hit my hand fromthe nearby sprinkler. The droplet
May 16th 1980 left a scar not just in my calendar. It was humid. The Heat sucked every
single droplet from the surface of earth during the day, but in the evening it poured
everything on me. It thundered heavily and the thunder snatched away my mother. It left
me in shock. I stood besides her corpse without a droplet in my eye. My mind had frozen.Not a single droplet appeared in my eye. She was the reason, she was the path, she was
the energy that resonated as life in me, but that day she was still. Not a single droplet!
But the sky broke down in grief. Million droplets raced down from the sky to drown me.
The droplets from Heaven..And of course May 16th was a full moon day.
The grass seems greener today for no reason at all. Is it the grass or is it my vision thatmakes it greener?
The grass
November 2, 1987. I had gifted my daughter a blue tricycle. In the evening I walkeddown to the park and then made her sit on it and pushed it piously till I lost a couple of
calories. She giggled and her giggles resonate as life in me today. The park had a stretch
of green grass. It was windy and slightly cold. I pushed it hard and she giggled more. Ipushed again, but the plastic wheel broke instantly making her roll on the stretch grass.
Her leg was bleeding and her right hand suffered from multiple fractures.
The full moon day grass
Today in the morning I was leaning on the blue door, exactly the same blue as the
tricycle. I walked inside and sat on Sigma 7, the system assigned to me by Ms. Ramya. Iopened Road rash browser. I crashed and then clicked on the mark on the right corner of
the screen. A message flashed.
CONTINUE ABORT?
Abort.
September, 16th 1990. Preethi was in Intensive Care unit again. She looked pale through
the transparent glass door; her graying hair was let loose. Her eyes were engulfed by dark
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circles and her nostrils were attached to the tube that hung besides her, the other end of
which penetrated into a glucose bottle. She hadnt eaten anything since 2 days. I had very
little money with me then. My graying beard was evidence for my poverty. I pawned thegold ring which mother had given for 300 rupees for medical expenses. It seemed to
crash! Relationship, money, and childs education, everything besides me seemed to meet
its maker. Hope was severed from my heart by the boulder that fell that night.A lady doctor arrived from inside and asked.
What do we do Mr. Pavan?
I took a minutes pause and then replied Abort
On September 16th 1990 a full moon day, I stood piously without money, without hopeand without my beloved wife besides me.
I clicked on abort and then on the Icon that said Polymorph
Bright lights were turned on above me immediately by Harish as if dark clouds gave way
for the bright moon to shine. I logged into Polymorph.
At 3 pm I picked up a bunch of magazines and newspaper from the desk. I flipped acrossthe sheets. Page 2 made me pause. I read.
Cochin:Mystery shrouds over mans death.
A 42 year old man was found dead under mysterious circumstances near a hillock here.
A boulder seemed to be lying on corpse. Police have identified the person as Maheshwho was involved in left-hand practices. Villagers claim that he had visited a temple
near the hillock to offer sacrifices. The body has been sent for autopsy..
Just then my employer waked towards me and asked
How is everything?
Good! I m happy, everything is great! Thank you I replied looking at the newspaperagain.
The grass is indeed greener and the boards more colourful today.
-------
I am a Labourer
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Today is Friday, the 13th March. I wear a black suit with a black tie and I wear a blackcooler to protect my right eye and I carry a big steel bolt in my pocket. I am flocked by
journalists and photographers as I stand beside a limousine.
But after the blow red-tooth had given me, I had toiled harder. For one month, I was in
silence. I spoke very little to humans. If someone had yelled at me I counted the bricks
from the bottom and when it was 2079 blocks my anger would have dissipated.
Counting stabilized my minds
I used to lie on brick in the evenings and etch my name on each brick I counted toconquer my mind. My name
A few hours earlier I was seated in C-15 in a Boeing. A white man beside me had asked
after three hours of silence. What is your name sir?
Selvam I replied
And what does it mean? he bounced back.
I smiled and then said Selvam means wealth in Tamil
After silence, I roared. And my roaring tore part everything that stood in my way like a
typhoon. Three months later I had visited my village to meet my grandmother. It wasautumn and she was ill, he voice trembled when she called out for me. She took my hand
and gave me three gold chains which she possessed and she said Prosperity shall beyours.
Prosperity
Yes, I dont deny! I own a fleet of trucks today. 134 trucks! It was 16 th February. The first
gold chain was pawned to Bajan Lal and I purchased a cycle rickshaw to deliver goods
from the market to the traders in the town. I used to rent it out to people while I worked at
the construction site to deliver sand, sanitary pipes and bricks. A few months later Ipurchased another rickshaw too. The administrative building was completed by then. My
brother was big enough to look after and pile up bricks in the corridor. The red tarpaulin
became a small thatched hut.
Red tarpaulin
72 Hours ago in LA a lady dressed in glossy pink called out my name while millions
applauded. The cameras focused my dark face. I was sweating and I treaded on a Red
Carpet, the same redwhich once was my roof. The camera zoomed into me and the lady
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asked me to speak out. I looked up. And I could sense red-tooth with a cigarette in his
hand. I could sense his smile. The lady asked me to say a few words again. I did not
speak a word as I always do when confronted by something or someone but instead heldthe trophy firmly in my hand.
What are you doing here? Are you not working?
You think you re smart? I asked you something.
Do you hear me hero?
These words echoed. Yes, I am a hero today.
I finally read out my thoughts which were translated by one of the casts into English.
It is important to collect your dues from fate and I am going to collect it today, I thankeverybody for this wonderful evening, I thank the director, the cast and above all thedivine energy in the bricks I counted, in the truck I drove, in the wood I chopped, the
chain I pawned, in me and in you and in god! Thank You
I had answered red-tooth, I had answered the world.
At 3 am a white matador owned by the Police department followed my car till I reached
home from the airport for security reasons. A white matador
Two rickshaws had given me enough money for me to send my brother to the
government school. The carpentry work also added to my income. I also hired a few men
and contracted them to the neigbouring building. The second gold chain was pawned andI purchased a white matador. I rented out the Matador for dropping and picking up
children of the rich to posh schools that taught English. My income tripled. The building
was almost done, except for the doors and windows. Red-Tooth had not spoken a wordwith me for years but on August 17th he asked me to paint the boards and cut wood for
the doors and windows for the office building. I did it, piously. In the evenings I placed
the wood on my right foot and began my work while my brother used to peep through the
window of the house across the street to watch Television. The television..
Today I m broadcasted. All televisions and news channels are portraying about my rags
to riches story. Well, I would say it is hard work and a little bit of faith but many wouldsay it was luck or destiny. Destiny, luck or hard work it means the same to me. The black
suit I wore had a label on it. The trucker
I had completed painting the board in September. After cutting the wood for the doors
and windows I had painted the board from midnight till 6 am in the morning. I loved my
paint brush and my hammer for they were my best friends. I had completed the most
colourful board of all which read Science and technology Entrepreneurs Park It was
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also the day when I pawned the third gold chain and purchased a truck. I became atruckeron 16th September and I painted my mothers name on it wearing a patch of cloth
over my dysfunctional left eye. During the day, I counted and laid bricks, and in theevenings I choppedwood for the doors and at nights Ifetched waterfrom the tank for the
trucks radiator and I attained stability.
Before enlightenment, Chop wood, fetch water.
After Enlightenment, Chop wood, fetch water.
After I had painted the board and I had called my grandmother at the nearby telephone
Booth. By then I had learnt to use a phone. I remembered the day when my father called
Red-tooth from the train station. The phone...
I received a call from DreamWorks Ad agency today on my new Blackberry phone. They
want me to star in one of their ads for a popular sports magazine. I dont want fame or
money. But I have a lot of it today. Trust me, money is like the whip used by the
followers of Tao to attain enlightenment. The more you have, the more it tempts you tomaterialism and more the temptation you begin to lose stability and with the loss of
stability, everything falls! Money is also a path! I possess money but I dont own it! Timedoes bring things to you for you to walk up the ladder. The ladder..
I had varnished the wood and the door was perfectly carved out according to the design.
The architect had indeed used a unique design; it was truly an intelligent design. To fixthe screws for the door I had to climb up the ladder, the wooden ladder which I had
painted redand white on each alternative row. The door was the last thing that was to be
placed in the whole of the building. I piously painted it blue and then walked across thegrass that Evening.
I saw man with a white shirt trimming the grass today. The same grass which I hadtreaded years ago. The wall had faded but the door remained the same. I saw many men
and women inside typing on computers with their heads still. I walked across the green
stretch of lawn and then gazed at the board I had painted and then I piously rested myfoot on thestairs. The stairs
The door was painted and was ready but I had dues to be collected. Our contract ended.
That evening I stood at door with a bolt in my hand while Red-tooth handed over moneyto my father. Everything in the door had been screwed and bolted except for the corner
one.
Can you settle our dues so that we can go to our village now? I asked.
He did not speak a word.
I will make you speak someday I told him showing the bolt.
I walked with my father with the Bolt in my hand. A bolt denotes a circle.
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A month later we purchased another truck.
It is 5 pm on the 13th of Friday and I am here to meet Red-tooth at the doors for justice.
Yes, Life takes a complete circle. He stood at the blue door. He was stout and looked
weary and he gave a wan smile when he looked at me. I smiled back.
Can you settle my dues so that I go back now? I questioned,the question that repeated
after many years.He stood there like a meek being holding firmly to the stick which he carried. The lady in
the pink costume, the cigarette and the bullet had vanished. He still did not answer but
tears rolled out of his eyes while I walked to the door to settle my dues. I touched it softly
and fixed the bolt and just then a young man walked to me from inside the officequestioned
Whom do you want sir?
I did not reply.
I looked at the newspaper lying outside the office.
Los Angeles:Building hopes bags Oscar
Building hopes, a movie based on a true life story of a construction labourer in Indiabag Oscar
I gave him a smile and touched the door again and walked on the grass which appearedgreener today.
I have a train to catch tonight. Of course general compartment travel! No doubts about it.But before that I am meeting Bajan Lal at 7 pm to redeem three gold chains and to buy
two diamond necklaces, one for my mother and one for my fiance.
-----/------------------
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I AM A PHYSICIST
Today is Friday, the 13th
of March. Exactly 13 years 10 months and 6 days later. I signedmy name on the book titled Consciousness and Time Studies at the store while it
snowed outside this morning. Near the door of the bookshop tiny shrubs had grown whileit snowed outside.
Sitting quietly, doing nothing,
Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.
These were the first verses of Chapter 1 I began to write on 16th February sitting on my
desk looking at the moon outside and sipping Tea with the Ink pen Erwin had given me. I
continued to write.
If you want Jasmine tea, you put jasmine into a tea box for a few nights; the scent
penetrates the tea to make it Jasmine Tea and to make Lotus tea one has to go to the
lotus pond in the early afternoon in a small boat, and insert a small quantity of tea intoeach lotus flower. At six or seven o'clock the lotus flower closes and during the whole
night the tea gets impregnated by the lotus flavor. In the morning take hot water and a
tea pot to the middle of the lotus pond, recover the tea from the lotus flower, and havelotus tea.
Consciousness is like plastic, it can be conditioned just like the lotus tea made in
Vietnam
That night I understood what Lotus tea really means. It was a patch that connected the
dangling thought in my head. Today I hold the book that reveals the secret of time,
consciousness and its parallels in eastern thoughts. The temperature is just above 4
degrees Celsius.
On August 17th I flipped through the pages of Erwins diary. It was the last thing that wassent along with his body from Canada. The reports confirmed that Erwin died due to
asphyxiation in his car. It seemed as if I had lost my thought. Emotions are a weakness
sometime; I always tried to overcome it. But that night I wept constantly. I had neverwept so much before. I did, till I read the lines on the last page of the diary.
Satyendra Bose proposed to Einstein that if matter was cooled to very low temperatures
to Absolute Kelvin or minus 273 degrees ^ then the entropy of that matter should
decrease and matter should come down to a zero-energy state.
This had opened a pent up idea in my mind and I continued to write.
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Chapter 2: Matter and Energy are inter-convertibles and Matter is existent in variousenergy states which is dependent on temperature. The higher the temperature, the
greater the energy which increases the disorder in molecules resulting in entropy or
instability
I was in a state of instability that night.
Today my book has sold over a million copies and I am in pursuit to know the design, the
intent and the nature of that ONE thing that is polymorphed in everything. I amconvinced that everything is a part of one common energy state, the zero energy state.
Now I am sitting on a metal chair in my lawn. The breeze makes a droplet run through
myNerves
November 2, Dominik had opened up another eye for me to look at the world from a
broader viewpoint. It was in the morning, the doctor called me for intimating me
Phatungs state.
Phatungs brain is in a state of trance, It s a midway path between sleep and
wakefulness. It seems that his nervous system is functioning in unison he said.
But how? I questioned.
The brain is an aggregate of nearly 100 billion neurons. The million thoughts that jam
up in our mind are the simultaneous activity of the neurons.The thoughts translate into
various biological changes mediated by the hormonal apparatus at the pituitary
interfacing system. The complex interconnections that abound in the nervous systemensure that even a small impulse rapidly spreads seismically via the dense network.No wonder there is so much Chaos in the wakeful state. When the mind is active the
entropy is high and hence instable and as concentration increases, the tendency of themind to waver and scatter decreases. And Phatung s entrophy is at its peak now he
answered
So when we concentrate, we are increasing the synchronicity of a specific group of
neurons and silencing unrelated neuronal activity? I questioned
Exactly he replied
After he hung up I continued to write Chapter 2 looking at the halo that covered the fullmoon.
This zero-energy state is known in physics as the Bose-Einstein condensate. This state ofmatter is also called a super atom as the entire mass behaves as if it were a single atom.
It loses all its characteristics of shape, charge and polarization. It reverts to a shapeless,
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attribute-less phenomenon in a de-evolution of matter, reverting back to just the potentialto manifest as anything and everything
Today, the lush beneath the metal chair is green, just like the shrubs near the door of the
bookstore. The sky above isBlue
I was in Africa on May 16 th, I had traveled from 15 degree Celsius to 49 degree Celsius. Iwas there with no purpose or reason. It was a random trip as usual. I walked with a bottle
of water to Sauri to find a sect that worshipped Yezulu( the Chief of the Sky) They told
me that Sauri is the luckiest Village in Africa. The maize is taller, the water cleaner, and
the schoolchildren better fed than almost anywhere else south of the Sahara. I walked tillit was sunset and then I halted under a tree. The heat was still radiating from the earth.
The sun disappeared in the blue sky allowing the moon to reign upon me. I pulled out my
pad and began to write.
Chapter 3; Moon and Mental Health: Many believe that the moon exerts its gravity onearth creating tidal waves on full moon days, So does it exert its force on the human body
that contains 70% water with other soluble salts. The moon does have an effect on tidal
waves and human behaviour but the lunar force is a very week tidal force. A motherholding her child will exert 12 million times as much tidal force on her child as the moon
A the water in the ocean is unbounded unlike the human body.The full moon has beenlinked to crime, suicide, mental illness, disasters, accidents, birthrates, fertility, andwerewolves , among other things some people even buy and sell stocks according to
phases of the moon. Some eastern and African Cultures believe that the light of the moon
affects fertility in woman. The average menstrual Cycle is 28 days but varies from
woman to woman and month to month while the length of the lunar month is consistently29.53 days. Many such African and Eastern beliefs co-relate between the phase of the
moon and mental health. The Hindu God Shiva appears to adorn a crescent moon on his
head. Also the moon plays an important aspect in a persons mental condition accordingto Hindu Astrology. There has been very less research done in area of Lunar effect and
mental health in the past
13 years 10 months and 6 days later I am invited for the moon light dance at the Daze
tonight; Canada has a history of putting up barriers based on skin colour and religion atpublic spaces like night clubs dance halls. I am lucky to be invited. The Dance
I removed my shoes on 16th February to see a bronze statue of the Indian Dancing godcarved in perfect symmetry and then began to write
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Chapter 4: Annihilation and the divine cosmic dance
In the night of full moon, Nature is inert, and cannot dance till Shiva wills it: He rises
from His rapture, and dancing sends through inert matter pulsing waves of awakening
sound, and lo! matter also dances, appearing as a glory round about Him. Dancing, He
sustains its manifold phenomena. In the fullness of time, still dancing, He destroys all
forms and names by fire and gives new rest.This is poetry, but none the less science.
Einstein in his relativity showed that mass has nothing to do with any substance, but is a
form of energy. Energy, however, is a dynamic quantity associated with activity, or with
processes. This establishes the fact that a particle is not a static object but a process thatinvolves energy that manifests itself as the particles mass. Energy with a high spin
discharges electrons to appear as mass, much like a windmill which appears as a circle
when rotated swiftly. Illusionary! Hence E=mc2. A new view of particles was initiated by
Dirac when he formulated a relativistic equation that describes the behaviour ofelectrons. He revealed a fundamental symmetry between matter and anti-matter. The
symmetry between matter and antimatter implies that for every particle there exists anantiparticle with equal mass and opposite charge. Pairs of particles and antiparticlescan be created if enough energy is available and can be made to turn into pure energy in
the reverse process of annihilation..The processes of particle creation and annihilation
had been predicted from Diracs theory before they were actually discovered in nature,and since then they have been observed millions of times.
Two particles move defying gravity; it collides in symmetry graciously like the divine
dance denoting eternal love between matter and energy.
The dance between particle and anti particle creates matter out ofnothing!
His gestures wild and full of grace, precipitate the cosmic illusion; his flying arms and
legs and the swaying of his torso produce-indeed, they are-the continuous creation-destruction of the universe, death exactly balancing birth, annihilation the end of every
coming-forth.
The god is a personification of the Polymorphed Brahman( relativistic quantum
electromagnetic filed), his activity is that of Brahmans myriad manifestations in the
world. The dance of Shiva is the dancing universe; the ceaseless flow of energy going
through an infinite variety of patterns that melt into one another.
Yet again poetry and science!
Modern physics has thus revealed that every subatomic particle not only performs an
energy dance, but also is an energy dance; a pulsating process of creation and destruction
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Today is the day I know that while I am sitting in this metallic chair on the grass lawn
and looking at the sky doing nothing, the universe dances like I shall at the Daze. Today
is the day I attained my lost stability. In unison I attained it signing my name in my book.
Sitting quietly, doing nothing,
Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself
I was back in Dr. Dominiks chamber on 15 th March. The place had a pungent smell.Phatung was sitting upright without any movements. He appeared still like the wax model
at Tussads. His face shone in wisdom like the full moon and his lip still carried a smile
of the Buddha.
What are the observations? I questioned.
Phatungs neurons are behaving as if they are a single Neuron. They are acting in
Unison. He replied.
How? I questioned again.
Some individuals have naturally higher entropy levels and hence they find it harder toconcentrate. They have numerous thoughts and hence are distracted easily. The sense
organs act as a catalyst to increase entropy. But a few have the ability to consciously
decrease entropy levels to achieve stability. If it is constantly decreased the neurons start
becoming synchronous. That is, they neither modulate nor amplify any incoming signal.They just resonate in harmony. He replied.
Phatung still remained silent but yet he spoke a thousand words to me. I am sure he knew
the answers to my questions but he fell short of words to explain the phenomenon.
I walked back home piously and then sat on my table looking for the moon outside and
then began to write.
Chapter 5: Quantum coherence of the brain
One who knows does not speak
In the waking state, when you consciously attempt to decrease the entropy of the nervoussystem, it is referred to as meditation. As the entropy of the neurons keeps decreasing, a
state of calmness is perceived. As this progresses further, the neurons act in unison. They
just resonate in harmony. As this orchestra gets more in sync, you experience varying states of bliss and happiness. Till what is presumably the final state of zero-entropy,
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where all 100 billion neurons function in total unified quantum coherence. Just like atomthat behaves like a super atom.
The Bose-Einstein condensate equivalent of the neuronal system is what may be termed
as Samadhi according to Eastern school of Thought.
The conch began to resonate for Phatung that night. Today is indeed the day when my
questions were answered. 13 days 10 months and 6 days later. As I closed my eye to
listen to the songs each atoms sing out a melody. I could feel them through my nerves,the polymorphed relativistic electromagnetic filed. I lost my identity blending into the
One. I then opened my eyes and then began to read the last chapter.Chapter 6.Polymorphed in Time and Consciousness
Life is an epic, I m the author, Life is a melody, I am the virtuoso! Life is dream and Iam the dreamer. But it is you who is the thought behind the penned words; it is you who
is the notes and the scales, it is you who dreamt my life in your sleep. You are nothing!You are everything!
The ink does not flow out of the pen; Words dont open up the mind. There are no words;there are no languages to describe; there are no dictionaries to define the realm of the
Polymorph. All I do is piously write as I have been doing for several years.
----------/------------------------------I AM AN EMPLOYERThe dark clouds gave way. We found the moon gloriously reigning in the dark sky. Look at the moon sir exclaimed Ramya
Karthik looked at it eating the jamoon while Harish stood next to me.
How is it? I asked.
Tasty said Karthik.
I mean the moon I said
He giggled and said Yes, the moon is Tasty, Ja-moon!!! He giggled louder, while
Ramya said It looks like my new ear ring, big and bright
For me it looks like a foot ball added Harish.
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But for me the moon was something different that night when I sat in the car to drive
back home.
The guards frowned, the music thundered, the reports sent, the lights turned off and the
blue door locked piously. It is still Friday the 13th
as displayed in the car and the radioplayed Fly me to the moon. Well, before the ignitions were turned on, I realized that
this moment in time had something special in it. I smiled without any effort, without any
reason, without the aide of my prudence. I smiled, piously at the marvels of nature,worshipping it from within. The day flashed backwards in my thought.
8 pm, 13th March. After all the updates that was loaded into cyberspace, the final dosage
of caffeine emptied and after a round of Nair s stories of his growing firm, Harish
pulled the blue door towards him so that he can lock it. The bolt had appeared, a big
steel bolt.What made the steel bolt appear? Why today?
The bolt made me happy. Harishs perseverance made me smile. I did not understand but
yet I smiled looking at the rays that penetrated through the pane. The song was stillplaying.
5 pm, 13th march.
And then it was time for me to hand over the wages! Karthik extracted SQL queries and
then sent it across to Ramya who filled in the amount in the sheets and then peoplecollect their sheets and piously wait for their turn. The query read:
POLYMORPH SELECTb.nameas Operator,q.work_date as date, sum(q.Total_Fields)-
sum(Default_Fields) as Totals, sum(q.Correct_Fields)-sum(Default_Fields) as Correct,
sum(q.Default_Fields) as Defaults, sum(q.Wrong_Fields)as Mistakes,(sum(q.Correct_Fields)-sum(Default_Fields))*0.03 as "base_0.03",(sum(q.Correct_Fields)-
sum(Default_Fields))*0.03+15 as "total_0.03",(sum(q.Correct_Fields)-sum(Default_Fields))*0.015 as
"base_0.015",(sum(q.Correct_Fields)-sum(Default_Fields))*0.015+15 as "Total_0.01" FROM
my_gsdb.qc_stats q, common_master b where q.work_date='' and q.op_id = b.master_key andb.namein
("pavanbr") group byb.nameorder by 1,2
Pavan was the name of the employee extracted from the polymorph software. His
Happiness when he said he was happy and everything was fine radiated at 3 pm.
Karthiks music made me smile without a reason.
I smiled again sitting in the car and holding the key in my hand.
1 pm, 13th March. Ramya handed over food coupon to Shekar. His hands vociferouslysaid thank you even when his mouth remained mute since his birth. His charm spread
across cutting through all sorrows that life gave everybody.
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His gesture made me smile again. Ramyas dedication made me smile. Happiness
twinkled like the diamond ring that the Mother adorns and my lips took a curve like the
crescent that Father adorns on his head. The song played louder now.
9 am, 13th march
I walked further to see people stand up and wish their employer with a smile beneath theboard that reads Science and technology Entrepreneurs Park. I smile. Smile It was
hard to smile for a man of my prudence.
I smiled without any effort now.
I turned on the ignition and then saw the grass that Gangadhar trimmed shimmeringunder the bright moon light. Even in the dark it appeared greener. The song ended. I went
home and then read the newspaper piously and then the last chapter of the book
Chapter 6.Polymorphed in Time and Consciousness
Life is an epic, I m the author, Life is a melody, I am the virtuoso! Life is dream and I
am the dreamer. But it is you who is the thought behind the penned words; it is you whois the notes and the scales, it is you who dreamt my life in your sleep. You are nothing!
You are everything!
The ink does not flow out of the pen; Words dont open up the mind. There are no words;
there are no languages to describe; there are no dictionaries to define the realm of the
Polymorph. All I do is piously write as I have been doing for several years.
11 50 pm, 13th March, I sipped coffee. One day of work, I had found stability. I wrote
the poempiously:
I am the employer, I am the labourer,I am the software, I am the brick,
I am the Lover, I am the Tantras,
I am matter, I am consciousness,
I am the red rose, I am the Yamala,I am Science, I am the Scientist,
I am Energy, I am Time,
I am the green grass, I am the full moon,I am Polymorph.
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