SSSP

Springer Series in Social Psychology

SSSP

Friendship and Social Interaction

Edited by Valerian J. Derlega and Barbara A. Winstead

Springer-Verlag New York Berlin Heidelberg Tokyo

Valerian J. Derlega Department of Psychology Old Dominion University Norfolk, Virginia 23508 U.SA

With 6 Figures

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data Main entry under title: Friendship and social interaction.

(Springer series in social psychology) Bibliography: p. Includes index. 1. Friendship. 2. Interpersonal attraction.

3. Social interaction. I. Derlega, Valerian J. II. Winstead, Barbara A III. Series. HM132.F72 1986 158'.25 85-26059

© 1986 by Springer-Verlag New York Inc. Softcover reprint of the hardcover 1 st edition 1986

Barbara A. Winstead Department of Psychology Old Dominion University Norfolk, Virginia 23508 U.SA

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be translated or reproduced in any form without written permission from Springer-Verlag, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010, U.SA The use of general descriptive names, trade names, trademarks, etc. in this publication, even if the former are not especially identified, is not to be taken as a sign that such names, as understood by the Trade Marks and Merchandise Marks Act, may accordingly be used freely by anyone.

Typeset by Ampersand Publisher Services, Inc., Rutland, Vermont.

987 6 5 432 1

ISBN-13: 978-0-387-96230-6 DOl: 10.107/978-1-4612-4880-4

e-ISBN-13: 978-1-4612-4880-4

To Wally and Stella Derlega, Bob and Lois Winstead, William Brenner, Irene Solet, John Derlega, Ann Tekla Winstead Derlega

Preface

A neglected topic in the field of personal relationships has been the study of friendships. Social psychologists have studied how and why individuals are attracted to one another and the processes of interaction during initial encounters, but they have not paid much attention to ongoing friend­ships.

A major goal of the present volume is to develop theories and integrate research on the development and maintenance of friendships. Another major goal is to build bridges between social psychologists and other social scientists by presenting an interdisciplinary approach. Although a majority of the contributors are social psychologists, other authors include sociol­ogists as well as developmental, personality, and clinical psychologists. The chapters also present research on friendship based on a wide range of research methodologies, including laboratory research as well as longi­tudinal, naturalistic, and clinical studies. Hence, the book incorporates a variety of conceptual and methodological approaches that should con­tribute to a cross-fertilization of ideas among disciplines.

The first chapter, by Barbara A. Winstead and Valerian J. Derlega, provides an overview of theory and research on friendship. The second chapter, by Daniel Perlman and Beverley Fehr, provides a summary and conceptual critique of social psychological theories of social attraction that are relevant to the study of friendship.

Adopting a developmental approach, Duane Buhrmester and Wyndol Furman, in Chapter 3, demonstrate the particular importance of friendship during middle childhood and adolescence in fulfilling interpersonal needs. Buhrmester and Furman draw heavily on the theoretical work of Harry Stack Sullivan concerning social-personality development. The fourth chapter by Mark Snyder and Dave Smith demonstrates how the person­ality dimension self-monitoring affects individuals' definitions of friendship and the activities and interests that they might want to share with others. In Chapter 5, Barbara A. Winstead provides a thorough review of studies of

viii Preface

adult same-sex friendships, indicating how gender and sex roles affect men's and women's friendships.

Chapter 6, by John H. Berg and Margaret S. Clark, provides a critical discussion of when close friendships are likely to develop gradually (the traditional view held by social psychologists) or quickly. Berg and Clark indicate that people's decisions about which relationships they want to have are often made early in or at the beginning of a relationship. In Chapter 7, Dorothy Miell and Steve Duck explore the communication strategies used by individuals to form friendships. They consider how controlling the flow of one's own and the other person's self-disclosures affects relationship development.

Chapter 8, by Robert M. Milardo, and Chapter 9, by Maureen T. Hallinan, concern organizational or structural factors that affect friend­ships. Milardo presents a theoretical model indicating how characteristics of social networks affect the development of relationships. Hallinan analyzes organizational determinants of interracial friendship in desegre­gated schools. She shows how classroom organization affects the avail­ability and stability of interracial friendships.

In Chapter 10, Gary Alan Fine explores important features of friendships at work. Drawing on in-depth interviews and participant observation, Fine shows how the distinctive culture that emerges in work settings (with its own rules, values, and norms) influences friendships.

Chapter 11, by Raymond Fleming and Andrew Baum, examines the relationship between friendship, social support, and stress. Different models of the role of friendship in coping with stressful events are critically reviewed.

Although most people report having one or more friends, what is it like for people who do not have friends? Cecilia H. Solano, in Chapter 12, examines how people conduct their lives without friends. Are people without friends inevitably lonely or do they have substitutes for friends that can fulfill their interpersonal needs? Chapter 13 focuses on individuals who experience difficulties in developing friendship. Jeffrey E. Young presents a cognitive-behavioral model for understanding and treating patients who have long-term and chronic difficulties in establishing friendships.

The editors express their gratitude to the individuals who contributed to the successful completion of this book. Special thanks go to the authors for their enthusiastic participation in the project, their patience, and their thought-provoking chapters. We gratefully acknowledge the assistance of the excellent staff at Springer-Verlag/New York for encouraging us in our work on this project. We also benefited from the helpful advice of our colleagues and friends-John Berg, William Brenner, Warren Jones, Stephen T. Margulis, and Daniel Perlman-at various stages in the book's progress. The original idea for the volume emerged from our participation in the first and second International Conferences on Personal Relationships held at Madison, Wisconsin. We and other social scientists interested in

Preface ix

studying personal relationships owe appreciation to Steve Duck and Robin Gilmour for their leadership in organizing these important meetings. We are also delighted to recognize the significant part played by two important persons in our lives, John Derlega and Ann Tekla Winstead Derlega. John and Ann have not encouraged us to finish the book (in fact, they have encouraged us to do the opposite on many occasions) nor have they critically read or typed any chapters. But they have enriched our lives in numerous ways, and we love them for it.

Norfolk, Virginia Valerian 1. Derlega Barbara A. Winstead

Contents

1. Friendship and Social Interaction: An Introduction ............. 1 Barbara A. Winstead and Valerian J. Derlega

Theoretical Issues in the Study of Friendship ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Methodological Issues in the Study of Friendship ............. 3 Applications of Friendship Theory and Research. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Conclusion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

2. Theories of Friendship: The Analysis of Interpersonal Attraction. . . . 9 Daniel Perlman and Beverley Fehr

Reinforcement Theories .................................... 11 Exchange and Equity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Cognitive Consistency Theories. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Developmental Theories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 A Comparison of Theories of Attraction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 An Evaluation of Theories of Attraction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Conclusion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

3. The Changing Functions of Friends in Childhood: A N eo-Sullivan ian Perspective ............................... 41 Duane Buhrmester and Wyndol Furman

Sullivan's Theory of Social-Personality Development. . . . . . . . . . 41 Empirical Evidence ........................................ 51 Summary and Conclusions ................................. 59

4. Personality and Friendship: The Friendship Worlds of Self-Monitoring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Mark Snyder and Dave Smith

A Scientific Approach to the Study of Friendship ............. 65 Conceptions of Friendship. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

xii Contents

Behavioral Manifestations of Friendship ..................... 69 The Population of Friendship Worlds. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 Understanding the Nature of Friendship ..................... 73 The Paradox of Friendship ................................. 78

5. Sex Differences in Same-Sex Friendships ..................... 81 Barbara A. Winstead

Sex Differences in Adult Same-Sex Friendships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81 A Developmental Perspective on Sex Differences in Same-Sex Friendships ............................................... 85 Intrasex Differences in Same-Sex Friendships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 Understanding Sex Differences in Interpersonal Behavior. . . . . . 91 Sex as a Contextual Variable. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Concluding Remarks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

6. Differences in Social Exchange Between Intimate and Other Relationships: Gradually Evolving or Quickly Apparent? ......... 101 John H Berg and Margaret S. Clark

Some Differences in Exchange Between Close and Casual Relationships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 102 When Are Differences in Exchange Detectable? . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 105 Concluding Comments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 124

7. Strategies in Developing Friendships .......................... 129 Dorothy Miell and Steve Duck

Purposive Communication. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 130 Information Gathering and Exchange. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 131 Accounts of the Role and Function of Personal Information Exchange ............................................. . . .. 132 The Level of Awareness and Strategic Planning in Interactions. .. 141

8. Personal Choice and Social Constraint in Close Relationships: Applications of Network Analysis ............................ 145 Robert M Milardo

Conceptualizing Social Networks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 146 Structural Attributes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 149 Toward a Theory of Structural Interdependence. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 156 Concluding Commentary. . ..... .. . .. .... .... . . ... . ... . ... .. 162

9. School Organization and Interracial Friendships ............... 167 Maureen T. Hallinan

Theoretical and Empirical Research on Interracial Friendliness .............................................. 168

Contents xiii

Organizational Characteristics of Schools and Interracial Friendships ............................................... 172 Conclusions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 180

10. Friendships in the Work Place ............................... 185 Gary Alan Fine

Culture and Friendship. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 185 Types of Work Relations. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 187 The Workplace as Setting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 188 The Content of Work. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 190 Organizational Friendships and Organizational Culture ....... 192 Men and Women Together. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 197 Friendship Amidst the Hierarchy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 199 Conclusions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 202

11. Social Support and Stress: The Buffering Effects of Friendship .............................................. 207 Raymond Fleming and Andrew Baum

Stress. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 209 Friendship Formation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 211 Social Support and Friendship. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 213 Strategies for Future Research. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 222

12. People Without Friends: Loneliness and Its Alternatives ......... 227 Cecilia H Solano

Definitional Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 229 Loneliness ................................................ 231 Function of Friends. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 233 Alternatives to Friends ..................................... 236 Therapeutic Interventions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 241 Summary ................................................. 242

13. A Cognitive-Behavioral Approach to Friendship Disorders ....... 247 Jeffrey E. Young

Cognitive-Developmental View of Friendships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 247 Classification of Friendship Disorders ....................... 252 Cognitive Therapy for Friendship Disorders. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 261 Summary................................................. 275

Author Index ................................................... 277

Subject Index .................................................. 285

Contributors

Andrew Baum, Department of Medical Psychology, School of Medicine, Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences, Bethesda, Mary­land 20814, U.S.A.

John H Berg, Department of Psychology, University of Mississippi, Univer­sity, Mississippi 38677, U.S.A.

Duane Buhrmester, Department of Psychology, University of California at Los Angeles, Los Angeles, California 90024, U.S.A.

Margaret S. Clark, Department of Psychology, Carnegie-Mellon University, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213, U.S.A.

Valerian 1. Derlega, Department of Psychology, Old Dominion University, Norfolk, Virginia 23508, U.S.A.

Steve Duck, Department of Communications Studies, University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa 52242, U.S.A.

Beverley Fehr, Division of Family Sciences, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada V6T IW5

Gary Alan Fine, Department of Sociology, University of Minnesota, Min­neapolis, Minnesota 55455, U.S.A.

Raymond Fleming, Department of Behavioral Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201, U.S.A.

Wyndol Furman, Department of Psychology-Child Study Center, University of Denver, University Park, Denver, Colorado 80208, U.S.A.

Maureen T. Hallinan, Department of Sociology, University of Notre Dame, Notre Dame, Indiana 46556, U.S.A.

xvi Contributors

Dorothy Miell, Psychology Discipline, Faculty of Social Sciences, The Open University, Walton Hall, Milton Keynes MK7 6AA, England

Robert M Milardo, Department of Child Development and Family Relation­ships, School of Human Development, University of Maine at Orono, Orono, Maine 04469, U.S.A.

Daniel Perlman, Division of Family Sciences, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada V6T lW5

Dave Smith, Department of Psychology, University of Minnesota, Min­neapolis, Minnesota 55455, U.S.A.

Mark Snyder, Department of Psychology, University of Minnesota, Min­neapolis, Minnesota 55455, U.s.A.

Cecilia H Solano, Department of Psychology, Wake Forest University, Winston-Salem, North Carolina 27109, U.S.A.

Barbara A. Winstead, Department of Psychology, Old Dominion University, Norfolk, Virginia 23508, U.S.A.

Jeffrey E. Young, Department of Psychiatry, College of Physicians and Surgeons, Columbia University, New York, New York 10027, U.S.A.