The Squeaky Clean Legacy, Chapter 17.3 “De Profundis” Part Two

Dinadan:Areyousureshe’sgoingtobeallright?Areyousureheknowswhathe’sdoing?

Penelope:Ihopeso.

Penelope:And anyway, he is the only doctor in the family.

Penelope:Thankyouforcoming,Max.

Max:ThereisliCleIcantohealtheheartorthespirit.Iknownothingofthose.IamtheworstpersonintheworldwhenitcomestounderstandingtheemoDons.

Penelope:Ijustdon’tbelievethat.

Max:Istandcorrected.

Max:  I am the SECOND worst person in the world when it comes to understanding the emo?ons. 

Max:Butherphysicalhealth,hergeneralconsDtuDon—Imaybeofsomeassistancethere.

Max:I have been working with plant compounds for years. 

Max:The plants thrive beEer when tended at night, so that is when I tend them.

Max:  I created my own dis?lla?on apparatus. . . .  

Max:. . .  experimented with every possible combina?on of plant, added, of course, to the tea I finally persuaded Grandpapa to send me from Takemizu . .  

Max:And experimented with dis?lla?on, concentra?on, and propor?on un?l I was sa?sfied.   

The result is a specific that soothes and strengthens the ?ssues.  It will not heal a broken heart or soothe the wounded spirit, but it can delay the bodily breakdown.  It gives the pa?ent a figh?ng chance.  That is all. 

Penelope:ItdoessoundexactlylikewhatElaineneeds,but...

Penelope:Areyousureit’ssafe?Hasitbeentested?

Max:Yes.  On myself. 

Max:  It was the only way I could assure myself that it was harmless.  There was no one to do it but me.  And in any case, I am not valuable. 

Max:TheformulaasitstandsisgentleandenDrelyharmless.Iwouldnothesitatetoprescribeittomyownmother.

Elaine’sfriendiscorrect.Shemusttakefluids,orshewillbecomedangerouslydehydrated.Youshouldalsopersuadehertosleepandtoeatsomething,ifpossible.

Max:Persuade,notcoerce.Thatwilldomoreharmthangood.Allowhertoeatwhatshelikes.Ifallshewishestoeatisicecream,encouragehertoeaticecream.Adietoficecreamforadayortwowillnothurther.

Penelope:Icecream,hmm?Well,wecertainlyhavealotofit.Isthereanythingelseweshoulddo?

Max:Rest.Food.Sleep.Simplepleasures.

Max:Sheisyoung.Andstrong.

Max:Andshe,atleast,willmakeafullrecovery.

Followingthedoctor’sordersisnotalwaysunpleasant.

Cecil:Ruralpleasuresdonotpleaseatall.

Touristylady:SodoyoupreferhunDngorfishingorhikingorwhat?‘Causeyoukindoflooklikeyou’dlikehunDngorhey,no,horsebackridingorsomething...

Touristylady:Soisheyourhusbandoryourbrotherorwhat?Ibethe’syourbrother‘causeyoulookkindofsimilar,onlyhe’swaygrouchier.IneversawsuchaGloomyGus.Hedoesn’teventalkatall.

Touristylady:Guessyoudon’teither.Iwasjusttryingtobefriendly.

Chef:BitofaChaCyCathy,isn’tshe?

Chef:Idon’tthinkyouneedalotoftalkifyou’reenjoyingyourfood.

Chef:Anyway,boneappeDte,astheysay,andifyouwantmore,givemeashout.Thename’sTheresa.

Cecilia:....Mmm.

Ithasn’tallbeenmisery.TheyoungestmainhouseGoodytwoshoesboy,Kai,justgrewup.

Gawaine:Iseeyouacquiredcustomcontent.

Kai:Yep.AndIrolledPopularity,justlikeeverybodyelse!

Gawaine:I’mnotsureweneedanotherPopularitySim.

Kai:Well,that’stoobad!

Everyoneisn’tevenunluckyinlove.Palomideshaspursuedhisgrocerygirl,andpossiblybecausehemadeasensiblepick,thingshavebeengoingverywell.

Gawaine:I’mgladyou’rehappy,atleast.Wedon’twantanythinggoingwrongwiththegroceries.

TelemachusisalsoveryShy,butheisFamilyandlikePalomides,reallywantedagirlfriend.

Thematchmakerhasbeenoutdoingherselflately.I’mimpressed.

Ofcourse,chemistryisnoteverything.

SecretSocietygirl:Woow.You’reallpreCyandblue,andyou’reanalien?AreyoufromPandoraorsomething,likethatmovie?

Telemachus:Pandora?Don’tbe...

Well,actually,DadnevermenDonedwhereSpaceMomorDadorwhateverwasfrom,soforallIknow...

Imean,yes.

Telemachus:Shutup.Itworked.

SecretSocietyGirl:Doyouhaveamagictail,too?

Telemachus:Idon’tdomagictailsonthefirstdate.

EvenMakingBestFriendsisabigdealwhenyouconsiderthattheseguyshatedeachotherandthatitwasallBunthorne’sfault.

Gawaine:There’snotathingIcandoaboutit,Percy.Sorry.

EventhePleasantviewplayablesaremanagingtofindsomehappiness.LionelPleasantproposedtohislongDmegirlfriend,DionneDreamer...

...Andwasaccepted.

Andfrankly,thereisnothingthatcanbedoneaboutsomepeople.

Zane:*sigh*

HowisElaine?

Lenore:She’scomingbacknextweek.ItwastheworstthingI’veeverseen,seriously.

Imean,whataWUSS.Hecan’tjustsay“Iwanttobreakupwithyou”orwhatever?Don’tdancearound.That’swhatburnsmeup.Youshouldjustsaywhatyoumean.

Zane:*sigh*

Zane:IthinkI’mreally,reallybadforyou.

Lenore:Excuseme.What?

Zane:IwantedtofindoutwhoIreallywas...

Lenore:Uh‐HUH.

Zane:AndsoIlookedontheInternet.

Lenore:Zane,Idon’tknowwhat’scomingnext,butwe’renothavingthisconversaDoninacrowdedrestaurant.

Zane:There’sjusttoomuchDeatharoundme.It’snotjustmyfather.It’smymother,andwell...me.I’mamonster,andIcan’taskthatofyou.AndIwon’taskitofyou.

Lenore:Whattheheckareyoutalkingabout?Firstofall,sayyou’rerightandyourfatheristheGrimReaper.Bigdeal.You’renottheonlyone.Secondofall,Idoubtyoucouldpossiblybeamonster.Anywhere,inanyuniverse,atall.Andfinally,Idon’tcarewhoyouaresomewhereelse.Here,you’remyboyfriend.

Lenore:Look.Iknowit’sashocktolookyourselfuponBoolprop.Youclearlyneedacuddle.

Zane:Thankyou.

Lenore:You’rewelcome.

Zane:Thisisn’tgoingtochangemymind,though.

Lenore:It’snot?

Zane:No.

Lenore:Ican’tBELIEVEthis.What’snext?“It’snotyou,it’sme?”

Zane:Butitis.

Lenore:“I’mdoingthisforyourowngood?”

Zane:ButIam.

Lenore:“You’llbebeCeroffwithoutme?”

Zane:Butyouwill.

Lenore:Whatkindoftotalmoronsaysstufflikethat?

Lenore:AndARGH.WhyareyouSMILINGatme?

Zane:BecauseIloveyou.

Zane:Ican’tbelieveyou’reyellingatme.

Lenore:Ican’tbelieveIhaveto!

Zane:Goodbye.I’msosorry.

Lenore:GROWUP,ZANE!

Zane:...I’llmissyouso,somuch.

Cecilia:...Hi?

Mountainladies:Well,hiyourselfthere!

Cecilia:...Whee.

Cecilia:Fish?

Bigfoot:Youmustbereally,reallysadandlonely,lady.

Cecilia:Whatmakesyousaythat?

Bigfoot:BecausementallybalancedpeoplewithacDvesociallivesdonotgolookingforBigfoot.

Cecilia:WELL!I...

...Youmayberight.

Bigfoot:Betweenyouandme...BigfootgetspreCysadandlonelytoo.

Penelopewasright,bytheway.KiCensdohelp.

Thankstosomanypeople,especiallyOrikes(Pseudo Legacy),wholoanedmeIanandsentmehisphotographs.ThanksalsotoPeasant007(Devereaux Legacy),forloaningmeZane,toRubyBlue(Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs)forDinadanLocks,andtoMarhisforreversedgenderPleasantview.

CC:All‐About‐Style,SimsDesignAvenue,etc.;“rippingfromtheguzzletothezatch,”JamesThurber.

Doesn’tCecillookappalled?