Spiritual IntimacyEnhancing the Soul Connection

Spirituality Is Part of the Vertical Aspect of Strong Blessed Marriage Horizontal:

Friends & Lovers• Friendship• Passion

Vertical:

Partners in Purpose• Commitment• Purpose

Purpose

Friendship

Commitment

Marital Love

Passion

Adapted from Robert Sternberg’s Triangle

Theory of Love

Love for a Higher Purpose Deepens ClosenessLoving the same purpose•Fortifies respect and sense of security

Sharing faith can be like sharing parents

Religious Practices Strengthen Marriage and Family LifeBest results come from discussing and practicing spiritual beliefs at home

1. Promotes moral behavior and forgiveness

2. Provides a family-oriented social network

3. Brings a sense of meaning and purpose to life, which increases resilience to stress 

4. Helps children to perform better at school

5. Boosts personal happiness, mental and physical health, long life and achieving goals

Benefits of Religion for Couples

More beneficial than a shared faith:•Shared sense of higher meaning to their marriage •What they do together to act upon their faith

Spiritual Closeness Is a Common Challenge in Marriage

1. Many couples struggle to find

a shared way

• To relate to God and spiritually

grow together

2. Conflict of styles is common

• One favored path to God may

be opposite of spouse’s

• Easy to judge the mate’s way

as inferior

How Is Praying Together Beneficial? How Might It Be Challenging?

Praying Together Is Beneficial & Challenging

Benefits

• Invites God to intervene in our marriage

• Strengthens our sense of shared purpose and ideals

• Helps us gain God’s view of our marriage

• Softens our heart and exposes it to our mate

Challenges

• Can be hard to be so vulnerable, especially when there are tensions

• Differences of prayer styles

• Hard to make time

Hoon Dok Hae is similar

There Are Many Different Spiritual Types

Adapted from Myra Perrine, God Languages

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness I

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness II

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness III

19 Paths to Spiritual Growth & Closeness IV

Making Spiritual Harmony

1. Find one or more spiritual paths that can be shared as a couple

• One of the partner’s ways or a third way

2. Focus on common values and ideals

• God• Truth, Beauty, Goodness,

Justice or True Love

3. Shared service is powerful

Faith Differences or Personal Faith Struggles Come Up at TimesLife events can highlight faith •Death and crisis•Church changes•Children

1. Faith becomes especially important

2. Or it can be challenged• Bring out personal weaknesses and marital differences

What to Do If Your Spouse Struggles in their Faith?

• This can be threatening

Consider How Your Spouse Might Feel

Imagine you are the more religious one in your couple. • Now imagine your spouse has suddenly become twice as religious as you are. You are now the “unspiritual” one, holding them and children back from knowing and serving God more, the “selfish” one who is never good enough. How do you feel?

When One Spouse Struggles in Faith

Faith fluctuates over time

1. Faith needs to be reexamined at times so it can mature

• Need freedom to doubt and struggle

2. Try to honor your mate’s legitimate effort to keep their integrity

• God will work through a genuine search for truth

• Modeling God’s acceptance and faith in them is a testimony to your faith

“Whether you are destined for heaven or hell is not determined by your doctrines and perspectives… but by your daily life.”

Father

Important Blessed Family Traditions

1. Sanctifying the First Night •Like 3-day Ceremony

2. Sanctifying births of children•Prayer support at birth with 3 people and birth candle•Grateful offering at 8 days

3. Family Worship and study•Learning God’s Word (HDH)•Family Pledge•Sunday Service•Tithing

4. Living with God & True Parents

• Prominent photos, • Prayer place

5. Sanctifying birthdays• Parents’ Blessing

6. Celebrating Holy Days• Pledge and offerings

7. Preparing children for Matching

Traditions Prioritizing Family

• Meals together• Couple date nights• Holiday celebration• Games and family activities• Vacation activities

Deepen Spiritual Oneness

1. Commit to growing in personal spiritual maturity

• Keep adjusting to each other as you grow

2. Commit to nourish the spiritual basis of your marriage

• Maintain regular traditions

3. Commit to greater service to God and the world

Tool: Sharing Spiritual Paths

1. Consider these spiritual paths

2. Mark your favorites

3. Guess your mate’s favorites

4. Mark which ones you might share

• Study• Pray • Mentor others • Be mentored • Celebrate• Tithe• Make music• Care for nature• Worship• Observe traditions

• Be in small groups • Fast• Serve greater

causes• Assist spirit world• Meditation• Fight injustice• Be creative• Share intimacy• Care for others