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Page 1: ***SPECIAL REPORT*** Get The PARENTSbnstuff.s3.amazonaws.com/products/Get_The_Parents_on...The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect with Hard to Reach Parents ***SPECIAL REPORT***

The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect with Hard to

Reach Parents

www.behaviourneeds.com

***SPECIAL REPORT***

PARENTS Get The

On Board

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Get The Parents On Board

The Step by Step Method To Help Teachers Connect With Hard To Reach Parents

http://www.behaviourneeds.com

Copyright 2011 Behaviour Needs

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

The information in this document is protected by one or more world-wide copyright treaties and may not be reprinted, copied, redistributed, retransmitted, photocopied, displayed, or stored

electronically or by any means whatsoever without the express written permission of the author. DISCLAIMER AND/OR LEGAL NOTICES:

The information presented herein represents the view of the author as of the date of publication. The author reserves the right to alter and update his opinion. This report is for information purposes only. It is not intended to provide exact or precise advice. The contents reflect the

author‟s views acquired through his experience and knowledge on the subject under discussion. The author and publisher disclaim any liability for personal or business loss caused by the use of or misuse of or inability to use any or all of the information contained in this report. This report is a

guide only, as such, use the information at your own risk.

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Rob Plevin is an ex-deputy head teacher, behaviour management specialist and relentless optimist. He runs the

websites www.behaviourneeds.com, www.classroom-expert.com & www.lesson-ology.com and presents training

courses internationally on working successfully with challenging young people for teachers, lecturers, care workers, prison officers and parents. His live courses and INSET sessions are

frequently described as „unforgettable‟ (by attendees with proven high standards of memory) and he was rated as an

„outstanding‟ teacher by the UK‟s Office for Standards in Education.

"I found Rob Plevin's workshop just in time to save me from giving up. It should

be compulsory - everybody in teaching should attend a Needs-Focused workshop

and meet the man with such a big heart who will make you see the important

part you can play in the lives of your most difficult pupils."

Heather Beames, Teacher, London course attendee

To book Rob for INSET or to enquire about live training please visit the help desk at www.behaviourneeds.com/helpdesk OR CALL 08452712818 (UK)

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Available products

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Novel resources to make lessons engaging, active & FUN http://www.lesson-ology.com

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http://www.confidentclassroommanagement.com

Free Classroom Management Mini-course http://www.behaviourneeds.com/minicourse

Did You Know?

We usually sell these special reports for between $17 & $37 each and we produce at least one report each month. But did you know you get them FREE as part of your membership to Confident Classroom Management?

Confident Classroom Management is the new one-stop solution for teachers,

lecturers and education professionals who need ready-to-use solutions and ongoing support & guidance for managing challenging behaviour in the classroom.

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Table of Contents

Introduction .................................................................................................. 1

Why are some Parents Hard to Reach? ............................................................. 2

Breaking the cycle .......................................................................................... 4

Break the cycle with REGULAR contact .............................................................. 5

Contact method #1: In person (Informal) ................................................ 6

Contact method #2: In Person (Formal) .................................................. 6

Contact method #3: Telephone .............................................................. 7

Contact method #4: Text Message .......................................................... 7

Contact method #5: Email ..................................................................... 7

Contact method #6: Letters/Postcards .................................................... 8

Contact method #7: Newsletters ............................................................ 9

Contact method #8: Home/school books or diaries ................................... 9

Contact method #9: Blogs ................................................................... 10

Real life Case Study ................................................................... 10

Break the Cycle By Making it Easy for Parents ................................................. 12

„Make it easy‟ method #1: Make yourself approachable ........................... 12

Top 10 Ways to Involve Parents in the Classroom .......................... 12

„Make it easy‟ method #2: Give parents multiple ways to

keep in touch with you ............................................................... 13

Break the Cycle by Giving Parents Specific Reasons to Come in or Make Contact With School .................................................................... 14

Mini-workshops .................................................................................. 14

Show day ........................................................................................... 15

Break the Cycle by Encouraging Students to Talk About School at Home ................................................................................................ 16

Encouragement method #1. Give them something to talk

about ....................................................................................... 16

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Encouragement method #2. Use your Blog ............................................ 17

Encouragement method #3. Home/School Discussion Clouds ................... 17

Helping to promote discussions about school at home .................... 17

Documenting Parental Contact ....................................................................... 19

Successful home visits .................................................................................. 20

Making contact for the home visit. ............................................... 20

On the day: .............................................................................. 20

A summary of things to remember: .............................................. 21

Real Life Case Study .................................................................. 22

Parent-Teacher Interviews with a difference .................................................... 23

Parent/Teacher Interview Information ................................................... 24

Real Life Case Study .................................................................. 25

Running successful meetings ......................................................................... 26

Meeting type #1: Parent/Teacher Interviews .......................................... 26

Here are some golden rules for these meetings: ............................ 26

The following format can be useful when discussing each subject area: ............................................................ 27

Meeting type #2: Student-Led Conferences ............................................ 27

Meeting type #3: Parent/Teacher meetings to discuss a

concern (behavioural or learning) ................................................ 30

Before the meeting .................................................................... 31

At the start of the meeting .......................................................... 31

Getting down to business - dealing with the topic of the meeting ..................................................................... 32

How to Avoid and Manage Confrontations With Difficult Parents ......................... 33

Appendix 1: Sample letters to parents ............................................................ 35

Welcome Letters ................................................................................. 36

Start of Term Newsletter: .................................................................... 39

Reminders about punctuality, uniform, belongings: ................................. 42

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Invitation to a mini-workshop ............................................................... 44

Letters about behaviour ....................................................................... 45

Letters about positive achievements (behaviour or learning) .................... 47

Appendix 2: Documenting Parental Contact ..................................................... 48

Appendix 3: Home Visit Information Sheet ...................................................... 51

References: ................................................................................................. 52

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Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect

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Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress

Introduction

Research has shown that when parents support learning in the home, beyond

just supervising homework, there are likely to be significant improvements in

terms of attendance, behaviour and student achievement.1 Other researchers

have also concluded that a parent-teacher relationship which fosters the

characteristics of warmth, respect and common expectations, leads to students

achieving more and making better adjustments in terms of their social,

emotional and behavioural characteristics.2

One of the most interesting findings that emerged from the esteemed Harris and

Goodall‟s research is that of all the types of parents, it was the „hard to reach‟

whose involvement had the biggest impact in terms of said improved

attendance, behaviour and student achievement.

So, if we can engage these parents, it appears that we can go a long way to

improving the outcomes for the more challenging students in our care. What

was also interesting about the findings of this research was that these „hard to

reach‟ parents often regarded the school and teachers as „hard to reach‟ too;

which is an interesting perspective to consider. Knowing that the parents we are

trying to connect with may feel this way may begin to support us as teachers in

finding some way to engage them.

If we can reflect honestly on what it is that has made us appear hard to reach

then we can begin to address the issue, to make ourselves more approachable,

and then reap the benefits. That is the aim of this report.

First, let‟s examine why some parents actually become „hard to reach‟...

1 Harris & Goodall, 2007 2 Fan & Chen, 2001; Henderson & Mapp, 2002; Marcon, 1999; Reynolds, 1991)

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Why Are Some Parents Hard to Reach?

When a student is seen to be causing trouble in school for any period of time, his

parents or guardians will almost certainly have had contact with teachers – and

it will have been negative.

They‟ve been informed:

when he‟s skipped class

when he‟s failed repeatedly to hand in homework

when he‟s been in a fight

when he‟s been abusive to staff

and so on

… but they haven‟t had the school ring up and commend him for doing

something right.

They‟ll no doubt have been summoned to numerous meetings to discuss his

future and will have a collection of report cards, detention slips and warning

letters. Focusing on what a student is doing wrong in school is, sadly, very

common and in some cases parents may have had years of constant complaints

about their child. Is it any wonder that they may feel let down? Indeed, if they

themselves failed at school (as is often the case) their opinion of the education

system in general is not likely to be a favourable one.

If you‟ve ever had a bad relationship with your bank you‟ll know what I‟m talking

about; you feel sick every time you get a letter from them. And no matter how

many times they telephone or write, you still don‟t want to speak to them and

you open letters with trepidation. The last thing you want is to be reminded of

the trouble you‟re in. This is why it is so difficult to win the trust and support of

some parents.

In this report we are going to look at ways of breaking the cycle of negativity so

that parents will actually want to hear from us and will be eager to help us.

We‟re also going to make it very easy for them to do so.

Before we get into the solutions let‟s first have a quick look at a summary of the

main reasons why parents may appear disinterested in their child‟s education or

seem to want nothing to do with the school. Being aware of these problems will

help us find the solutions to gain their trust and support.

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1. They think teachers would look down on them. Experience tells them

that teachers have only bad things to say about their child. They expect to hear

nothing but negative comments.

2. They see education as the school’s responsibility, not a home

responsibility. Their own family experiences placed little importance on

education so they hold these values too.

3. Keeping in contact with the school/teacher isn’t easy. Work or other

commitments may prevent them from attending meetings. They may not like

speaking on the telephone or in person.

4. They feel they lack the skills to support learning at home. Without

adequate support and guidance there is a fear that their own lack of academic

achievements will mean that they are incapable of helping their child with

homework and other school-related activities.

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Breaking the cycle

The first thing we need to do, and the area we need to focus on, is change the

parent‟s negative view of school. We need to break the negative cycle and

change their expectation that every communication from school will be a

negative one.

Easier said than done? No, not necessarily. Let‟s go back to the bank analogy.

The way to restore you relationship with the bank when they see you as a huge

risk and want nothing to do with you is to give them what they want and it‟s

exactly the same with parents who view school as either irrelevant or

threatening.

The bank wants positive news about your finances – the parents want positive

news about their child. I know what you‟re thinking: „But how can I give them

good news about Ryan? He never does anything good!‟

The truth is that every child does something to warrant praise and we must

notice these moments. If we want to break the negative cycle we must look for,

find and acknowledge things to praise. Then we pass on the acknowledgement to

the parents - and it doesn‟t matter if it‟s a small matter, the important thing is

that it‟s positive. This is without doubt the best and fastest method I have found

to gain the support and allegiance of hard to reach parents.3

3 Rob Plevin – years of practical experience!

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Break the cycle with REGULAR contact

Can you see how the following 30-second conversation will start to build bonds

between school and home?

“Hello, is that Alison? It‟s Rob Plevin here from the school. How are you? It‟s just

a very quick call to let you know that Ryan made a lot of good progress today.

I‟ve spoken to his subject teachers and they have all had good things to say

about him. Ian Brown, his maths teacher was very impressed and asked me to

tell you that he was very pleased to see he had brought his homework in. I was

particularly pleased to hear that he kept himself out of trouble today in

geography. He is working very hard to put last week‟s silliness behind him.

So that‟s it really. We‟re all very pleased – be sure to tell him I called and spoke

to you. I‟ll give you another update in the next few days.

Bye.”

That call took about thirty seconds, a minute at most. What will happen if I was

to repeat this simple process and make two or three of those calls in a week to a

parent? I‟ll tell you exactly; they will start to view the school in a totally different

light.

You‟re probably thinking that a) this sounds like a lot of work and b) „I‟m going

to lose my voice!‟. After all, you teach hundreds of students every week. How

are you supposed to make a call home for each one? Well, you don‟t! You‟re

going to concentrate on the students who really need this additional support.

Does that mean you ignore the good students? No, not at all. They fully deserve

that you keep in touch with their parents but your efforts need to be

concentrated on those parents who currently very seldom have positive contact

from school. There‟s also very good reason for investing your time in this, one

which you may not have considered...

When you make these regular short contacts with home – either by letter, short

note, phone call, text message, semaphore - you begin to be seen as perhaps

the only teacher who has ever really cared about their family. These parents

start to believe, possibly for the first time ever, that someone in authority

actually has their interests at heart and shares with them a common goal – the

welfare and success of their child. The effect of this cannot be overestimated.

Once the barriers start to crumble the parents begin to trust you – and you have

powerful allies to help make your job easier and more successful.

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Just think about it. Currently when you look for support from home you get

none. When you need the parent of little Jonny to follow up at home and ensure

he faces a consequence as a result of something he did in school you get a brick

wall or a string of false promises. In short, when you need Jonny‟s parents to

help you turn his behaviour around - you get nothing.

But when his parents see you as a family friend, when they can trust you, they

will leap at the chance to offer their assistance. They will trust your judgement

and they‟ll know that you are acting with their interests at heart. They will turn

up for meetings with a smile and Jonny will quickly see that school and home

work together to help him.

There are numerous ways to keep in touch with parents. You will most likely use

the method that best suits you – and what works best for the parents.

Communication will most likely involve a combination of several methods.

Here are the most common you could choose from...

Contact method #1: In person (Informal)

This method is particularly useful if you work with younger students (early

primary) whose parents will drop them off or pick them up from school. Having

a quick chat with a range of parents before or after school can be a nice way of

letting them know the little day to day things. This could be a recent

achievement, an outstanding piece of work the child did, or even a small matter

that can be ironed out with a quick chat. Just be careful what you say at these

times and remember there are eyes and ears everywhere; if it‟s personal and

something the parents or child may wish not to be made public, it may be worth

making arrangements for a private chat.

For those with older students whose parents don‟t come and pick them up, this

method isn‟t so suitable purely because there aren‟t so many natural

opportunities. However, if you have a child who has a particular on-going issue,

for example with their behaviour, it may benefit if the parent pays you a quick

visit at the end of each day just to find out how things have gone. If the

message is coming from both home and school, this will speed up the process of

positive change. When you initiate these conversations it is important that you

find some positive aspects to the day and encourage the parent that, although

there are difficulties and problems, you are confident that the scale will begin to

tip the other way.

Contact method #2: In Person (Formal)

This is where you have arranged a meeting with a parent and/or their child (see

parent/teacher meetings below). The benefit of these formal meetings are that

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no-one else can hear your conversation (unlike informal settings) and they

allow you to give a parent 100% attention.

Contact method #3: Telephone

Telephone calls like the one detailed above take a minute or two and are

incredibly effective for building relationships between the teacher and parent.

Expect the first few conversations to be stilted and perhaps a little awkward but

if you make calls regularly, you can soon find yourself chatting away with

parents who just a few weeks earlier didn‟t even know your first name.

Tip: Once the conversations start to progress beyond “Hello, he was fine today,

goodbye”, you‟ll find that parents very quickly start to share more and more

information about the family. Indeed, as the relationship grows, it is quite

common for a caring teacher to be privy to all the latest family news. Try to

make note of the fact that it‟s grandma‟s birthday next week or that the man of

the house has just got a new job and even that the cat has just had kittens,

because these little insights can help build relationships very quickly. Next time

you call, just make sure you refer back to some of this information – such as

asking how grandma enjoyed her birthday, how Mr Brown‟s new job is going,

and can I have a kitten please. It is showing that you listen to them, and care,

and are not just a nameless face from that school where nobody gives two hoots

about them.

Contact method #4: Text Message

Virtually everyone has a mobile phone now, and in fact reports are circulating of

children being born with them grafted into palms – it seems that way! Use it

though as a convenient and user-friendly way to communicate. If a child is

having a great day, sending an impromptu text to their mum/dad/care giver at

playtime, lunchtime or after school just saying what a great day they are having

can be very motivational. It is these frequent brief contacts which build

relationships between school and home. If you don‟t feel happy giving out your

personal mobile number for texts or phone calls buy a separate mobile and keep

it solely for school purposes. Give parents this dedicated number on all your

communications with them so that they are always able to contact you by either

phone or text.

Contact method #5: Email

This is particularly useful for several reasons. Firstly, children who require a

great deal of structure to the school day, for example those on the autistic

spectrum, can benefit from this. Changes to routine can be emailed in advance

to the parents so this can be discussed with the child before they come to

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school, allowing them to feel more prepared and therefore more in control of the

situation.

In extreme cases it may be useful to email the day‟s timetable on a daily basis

giving details of what the student will be doing for each lesson/part of the day.

By doing so, likely trouble hotspots can be highlighted and explicit preventive

instructions can be provided to the parent to prepare the student. Doing this on

a daily basis can be time consuming but can also prevent or solve many

problems. It also shows parents how much you care and will mean they are

much more cooperative when something goes wrong.

Another great reason for using email is that is enables a great deal of

information to be sent very quickly. Some students cannot be relied upon to

return detention slips, report cards, homework and other correspondence and

this method means the classic „I didn‟t receive it‟ response can be avoided. This

is perfect for parents who have limited time or are difficult to contact due to

work commitments.

Contact method #6: Letters/Postcards

This has such a positive impact on students that I only wish I‟d started doing it

earlier in my career. It can transform a previously negative child into one who is

motivated and eager to please, and it can even happen overnight. This is also

one method that works well even with pupils up to age 16 and beyond. It is also

very effective for pupils who don‟t accept public praise very well – a letter home

means their mates will never find out!

But there is also a further „hidden‟ benefit in addition to the improvements in

behaviour and work rate: it gives you an important written document to add to

your „written records‟ which will be handy in parent/teacher meetings.

Letters home can be „quick notes‟ or more formal, traditional letters on school

headed paper. They can be given out as „spot rewards‟ for pieces of particularly

good work or improvements in behaviour or for sustained effort. In this case you

could send a letter home after a student has earned 5 stickers (younger pupils)

or 5 merits (older pupils).

When making these praise notes, remember to be explicit about what it was

that the child did to make a positive improvement to their behaviour or to

produce a great piece of work. This will help to cement the understanding that it

was their own choices and actions that produced the outcome and will help them

repeat the behaviours in future.

For example, rather than just saying:

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„Tim‟s behaviour has got much better recently,‟ be explicit about what he did to

improve his behaviour and what the positive outcomes are. „Tim has been

making some excellent choices today and he is thinking things through before he

acts. Because of this, he is developing much more positive relationships with his

friends and he is able to focus on his learning more. Great effort Tim, I am

really proud of you.‟

Contact method #7: Newsletters

These are great to send out once or twice a term just to give parents an

overview of what you are learning about. This can be a great way for parents to

get involved with incidental home learning. For example, if they know you are

learning about time in maths, they may be more likely to talk about this at home

and support your teaching. Offering suggestions on how they can do this as part

of the newsletter can also be useful. It‟ll be a pleasant surprise when a parent

comes to you and says, „Thanks for that suggestion, it‟s been really useful, I

hadn‟t thought of that before.‟ Following a similar newsletter to this, several

kids in my class soon came to school wearing wristwatches that their parents

had bought them because the kids were always talking about time (and this was

not at a school where parents have an endless supply of money, it was in an

area of socio-economic deprivation).

Regular newsletters about the goings on in your classroom provide a great way

to connect between home and school. If parents know what you are doing in

the classroom, they will feel more involved. It‟s also a great way to involve the

community in terms of their expertise – many of your parents may have a skill

that can support a current area in your classroom programme or may even offer

to help out with a particular subject area on a regular basis. Obviously this has

its upsides and downsides as there may be some parents that offer to help but

can become more of a hindrance despite their good intentions. In cases like

this, you have to try and come up with a valid reason why you no longer require

their help without breaking those relationships you‟ve spent so long building.

Contact method #8: Home/school books or diaries

These can be particularly useful for children who have behavioural issues but

whose parents don‟t necessarily come and pick them up from school. It can be a

great way to keep in contact and can be used not just for your own notes at

school but also for parents to note down aspects related to home behaviour.

The disadvantage of these is that they can get lost, forgotten or „accidentally‟

misplaced! They do need to be updated on a daily basis to maintain consistency

and this can be hard with the hectic lives that we lead at school. If these

reasons are posing a problem then one of the alternative methods of

communication above may be better.

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Contact method #9: Blogs

Blogs can be one of the most powerful ways of not just keeping in touch with

families but also making families feel like they are part of your classroom.

Regular updates including photographs, movie clips, work samples about life in

your classroom will attract parents in ways that you never thought possible. The

nature of blogs allows parents to comment on work and therefore develop a

dialogue between families, children and you. To keep them successful though,

they must be kept up to date; if parents see that nothing has changed for

several weeks then they will lose interest and stop visiting.

Blogs provide a great platform not just to showcase student learning and share

what‟s been going on in your class; they are also a great place to give examples

of strategies you‟ve been learning in maths, in the form of a video for example.

This will be another way to help parents feel more in the loop with what‟s going

on in today‟s classroom. They are less likely to feel isolated or „out of touch‟.

The internet sites I talk about below can also be put on as links onto your blog

so students can find a range of educational games in one easy to find place.

All these communications with parents show that you care deeply and are taking

a keen interest in their child. It means a lot and with some children you may be

the only teacher to have done this.

Real life Case Study

I remember on the first day of a new school year when all the children were

lined up in the playground ready to be brought in by their new teachers, a

parent came up to me and said, „That‟s my boy over there, you‟ll have trouble

with him.‟ To which I replied, „I‟m sure we‟ll get along fine.‟ I used to meet this

parent every day after school with the child to discuss the day, including what

went well and what didn‟t, the reasons for his actions, and what he could have

done differently. I can‟t remember how long it took but the pupil could see the

positive relationship that his mum and I had and how consistent we both were in

our approach and expectations and that everything that happened (positive and

negative) was followed up at both home and school.

In the end, he actually used to look forward to his mum coming at the end of the

day and would play jokes on her (encouraging me to play along as well)

pretending he had had an awful day later revealing he‟d actually had a fantastic

day. After a long period of consistently positive news at the end of each day, I

would see her occasionally for informal chats but there was no longer a need for

daily visits. The boy‟s motivation and engagement in class increased and I

remember distinctly the day he came to me beaming with pride over a piece of

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work he did saying, „Sir, you‟re gonna love this, it‟s got adverbs, connectives,

the lot!‟ He had completely revised his attitude to school work and consequently

revealed his very witty, fun personality. It was a real pleasure to see this side of

him.

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Break the Cycle By Making it Easy for Parents

Parents often account for their own lack of contact with school by admitting they

find the school – or teachers – not very approachable. Either they don‟t feel

comfortable making contact, or have found it hard to get in touch with the right

member of staff. To address this we have to make it easy for them to get in

touch, or call in and get them used to being in contact.

‘Make it easy’ method #1: Make yourself approachable

If parents are apprehensive about getting in contact with you, you need to

ameliorate the process by making them feel welcome. This doesn‟t happen

overnight but keeping in regular contact and being perceived as friendly and

approachable usually go hand in hand – as long as you are focusing on and

mentioning positive news in the majority of your communications. In families

with innate hostility towards school this is incredibly important. These parents

need to made to feel that their opinions are valued and that their presence in

school is highly appreciated. The simple way to do this is to make sure you are

friendly when you speak with them. All your communications need to convey

that you are all there to help each other – not lecture them, talk down to them

or use them as a sounding board for your complaints.

Another way to make parents feel welcome in school is to ask them for help and

assistance. One of the biggest compliments you can give anyone is to

acknowledge an area of expertise or skill that they have and this can be a very

rapid way of getting a previously negative parent on side. People love to help

others – it is hard wired into our personalities – and if we are given chance to

display our strengths in the process, so much the better.

Top 10 Ways to Involve Parents in the Classroom

1. Ask them to tutor students in a specific area.

2. Ask them to read to students.

3. Invite them in as a guest speaker.

4. Invite them to model real-life applications of concepts learned in a lesson.

5. Ask them to help monitor learning centres or lab stations.

6. Ask them to help out with school-wide or community events/projects.

7. Ask for their help with site improvements/changes (great for dads with

practical skills).

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8. Ask them to chaperone a field trip.

9. Ask them to bring in needed supplies for a special project.

10.Ask them to help with ideas to get other parents involved.

‘Make it easy’ method #2: Give parents multiple ways to keep in touch with you

Most of the methods presented above in „ways to keep in touch with parents‟

have the benefit of offering easy opportunities for parents to keep in touch too,

but the three most common methods are:

1. Telephone

2. Text messaging

3. Written notes

Telephone numbers are easy to lose so methods 1 & 2 cannot be completely

relied upon - if a parent doesn‟t have these numbers handy, they can‟t get in

touch. Similarly, hand written notes rely on a messenger - probably their child.

Entrusting a child with a note can be optimistic at best and it would probably be

simpler to get on a bus and leave it there yourself.

To make sure that parents can easily contact you they need to have your contact

details to hand at all times. There are, of course, in this time of social

networking, a HUGE range of ways we can keep in touch with each other – from

Facebook and Twitter to simple text messaging but I feel offering too many

methods can only cause problems – if nothing else it presents you with the

headache of having too many sources to check. I would advise sticking to two or

three modes of communication – text, telephone and email – and then making

sure that your parents are fully aware of these contact details. The following

steps can help make sure this happens.

1. Set up your own blog and list your email and mobile/text number on it.

2. On all your correspondence with home, make sure you list contact details and

encourage parents to either print them off or store them in their own mobiles or

other storage devices.

3. Send or give parents a business card once a term with your contact details.

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Break the Cycle by Giving Parents Specific

Reasons to Come in or Make Contact With School

Making your curriculum exciting and engaging so that your students go home

talking about it will make parents aware of what is going on in your classroom

and will begin to capture their interest. We can capitalise on this by giving them

a specific reason to come into school – perhaps to view (or even help out with) a

particular piece of work or performance.

Here are a few examples:

The child has been selected for a school-wide competition. Share your

pride with the family and invite them along to watch the competition.

Your class is holding an assembly and their child is part of it. Explain

what the child is doing and invite them along to watch.

As part of a reading rotation, a group of children were practising a play.

They are going to perform it at a certain time. Invite the parents along

letting them know it will only last for 15 minutes (or whatever time).

You recorded a video of some of your pupils doing an activity together and

put it on the blog. Invite them to school to watch it and tell them you‟ll

call back to ask what they thought of it.

All these personal invites show parents you are interested and care about their

children and are thinking about the family as a whole. Involving the family in

these events will hopefully have a knock on effect to other areas and they will

begin to attend meetings more regularly or be more likely to support learning at

home.

Mini-workshops

These can be fantastic to boost parent confidence in terms of how they can help

their child at home and it will be something that will support and reinforce the

learning you are doing within the classroom.

In order for the workshop to be successful, parents need to know that you‟re not

patronizing or treating them like idiots. I regularly tell my parents that things

aren‟t how they were when they were at school – because it‟s true, and helps

them accept the teaching methods they will witness being practised. Strategies

in contemporary maths, for instance, may well bamboozle them if they are

unprepared. I found that out myself when teacher-training, that (then) modern

strategies caught me off-guard until they were explained. If parents see that

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you also had the same feelings of uncertainty and confusion that they probably

experience when their children are bringing home homework for example, it will

make them feel much more at ease and willing to talk to you and share their

concerns.

Targeting these workshops to a particular need or target group of kids can help

to keep it focused and keep the time factor down. Parents don‟t want to sit

through hours of boring explanations but will probably be quite willing to come

to a 15 minute after school session that involves learning some educational

games they can play with their kids at home.

There follows a sample letter I sent out to parents inviting them along to a

workshop like that described above. Also included is a sheet outlining all the

activities we learnt as part of the session so parents could take this home. This

particular example is aimed at a younger audience but could easily be adapted

to suit older children.

Show day

Following a unit of work, invite parents, extended family and friends to school for

some kind of „show day‟. This can be the culmination of their hard work in the

form of a presentation and celebration of their achievements. It will provide a

great motivator for your children in terms of purpose for learning so the finished

products are likely to be of a higher standard than they may have been

otherwise. The show day will provide a platform for discussion at home both in

the lead up to the event and then afterwards as parents discuss with their

children how they achieved certain aspects of the project.

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Break the Cycle by Encouraging Students to Talk

About School at Home

If we are going to improve links between school and home we can help achieve

this aim by making school more of a focus at home. One way of doing this is

encouraging students to take school into the home by talking about it.

Encouragement method #1. Give them something to talk

about

Teachers not only need to be explicit in their learning objectives so that students

know what they are learning and why they are learning it, but also need to

ensure that students are (as far as is possible) excited and interested in the

subject matter. They must also address students‟ perceptions of how the subject

is being taught to them. Teachers who claim their students are not interested in

their topic should look to their delivery of the subject in order to increase

enjoyment of the lesson. A student may well not be interested in science and

may leave the classroom feeling uninspired if all he was required to do was fill in

work sheets for a dull hour. But ask the same student to make a film about

science, or develop and build a science board game, or design a death ray

suitable for world domination, and they might be eager to talk about it.

Children are naturally curious and this curiosity is often diminished through the

delivery of mundane worksheets, textbook activities or lecture-based teaching

which tells students how things are rather than letting their own curiosity lead

them to find their own answers. When you‟ve finished delivering your lesson,

ask yourself honestly, if you were sitting through that, would you have left

wanting to talk about it in a positive way or would you have been one of the

children day-dreaming throughout?

When I talk about making a lesson fun or memorable, I‟m not suggesting you let

your students have free rein and do whatever they please, nor do I want you to

turn your lessons into a circus with yourself as chief clown. But being reduced to

the role of spectator soon gets boring for young people – regardless of how good

or funny the entertainer is. In order to have a positive lesson experience

students have to be actively involved.

There are plenty of ways to turn most lesson material into something exciting,

interesting and worthy of a tea-time discussion at home, you just have to think

creatively. If you need help with this area, we have a membership suite called

Lesson-Ology which provides all the resources and ideas you‟ll ever need to hook

students and get them taking part – no matter what area of the curriculum

you‟re dealing with.

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Encouragement method #2. Use your Blog

The blog is a fantastic platform for encouraging home/school discussions. Used

creatively it can give parents an insight into what has been done at school and

they can use the interactive features of the blog to ask questions about this.

The comment functionality on blogs also allows parents to leave a comment on

their own child‟s (or another child‟s) learning, who can then reply, hence

promoting healthy discussion.

Teaching your children how to comment effectively on posts by creating shared

guidelines and then looking at other classroom blogs or individual children‟s

blogs from around the world, will give your students the skills they need. The

children could then invite their parents to a family „blogging‟ afternoon hosted by

your children where you all get together in the school computer suite (or

classroom if you have a mobile set of laptops) and the kids can teach their

parents how to leave effective comments about people‟s work. Not only will this

help you to promote home/school partnerships but it will empower parents both

in terms of the types of things they can say/comment on and allow them to

realise that their children do have plenty to talk about when it comes to their

learning.

Encouragement method #3. Home/School Discussion Clouds These are a great formative assessment learning tool in their own right but can

also be used to help parents when talking about school – particularly with

younger students. The question cards below can be used as a plenary activity to

help students reflect on their learning and get them used to having these

discussions in a supportive environment (particularly when you first start using

them) or they can be given to parents. They could also be used as a weekly

reflection in a home/school partnership book. Children might spend thirty

minutes, at the end of each week for example, reflecting on their learning using

the questions and writing down their ideas. When they take this home at the

end of each week, it can provide a talking point for use there. The important

thing to remember with this resource is that children must feel comfortable

using them in school to the point that that the discussion becomes natural rather

than forced.

Helping to promote discussions about school at home

Sometimes it can be hard to talk to your children about what they‟ve been

learning at school. These clouds are designed to support this conversation at

home by asking more direct questions. We also use them at school so your child

will be accustomed to talking about their learning in this way.

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What questions do you still

have?

How will you use what you learned

in future?

What did you find most

interesting?

What will you definitely

remember?

What did you learn about in … today/this week?

What did you enjoy most?

What did you

find hard?

How did you overcome your

problems?

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Documenting Parental Contact

It is sensible for teachers to keep a record of as much as possible even though it

means yet more paperwork. However, by having a simple form in your teacher

binder you can very quickly log any useful communication with parents: ie,

which provides you with useful evidence showing that you have enlisted parental

support and regularly kept them informed of their child‟s progress and/or

notified them of problems.

If you‟re anything like me, you probably find paperwork an extremely annoying

chore so make it as easy as possible by adding the following two pro-formas to

your teacher binder:

Positive Parent Log. A simple way of keeping track of all the positive

communications you have with home.

Parent Contact Log. A summary prompt sheet for recording the main points

following a meeting or contact with parents about a problem or pupil concern.

Both pro-formas can be found in Appendix 2.

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Successful home visits

There are several reasons why you might want to organise a home visit:

It is often done for children who will be starting their first year of school.

You might like to meet the families of children (of any age) before you

start teaching them. This can be of particular benefit if the teacher is new

to the school.

The child may have an area of concern that needs to be discussed and this

cannot be done (for whatever reason) at school.

The child is unwell and cannot currently attend school.

Making contact for the home visit.

This may take the form of an initial letter sent to all parents, whom you would

like to involve in the home visits, outlining what the visits are about, and stating

that you will be in contact by way of a phone call to organise a specific time.

The phone call may go something along the lines of…

„Hi Mrs Smith. My name is … and I will be Danielle‟s new teacher when she

starts school in September, and I was hoping that we could arrange a time to

meet before she starts school. This will give Danielle an opportunity to meet me

and so she will hopefully feel less nervous on her first day. It will also allow me

to get to know you which I feel is vitally important as you play such a crucial role

in Danielle‟s education. We can talk about some of Danielle‟s interests as well as

what to expect when she starts school and any other information you feel would

be good for myself and the school to know. Visits usually take place in the

family home but we are always willing to make arrangements to meet

somewhere of your choosing if you would prefer. PS, I like coffee.‟

Once a date and time has been set, set yourself a reminder to confirm with the

family that you will be coming a day or two before. This could be by letter,

phone call, email or text.

On the day:

Turn up on time, organised and well presented.

Remember not to overload the parents/child with information but give

them specifics about important things they need to know prior to the start

of school.

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Offer both the child and parents plenty of opportunities to ask questions

or share any concerns.

Although a record sheet been provided try not to make it seem like an

interrogation in which you fire questions at the family one after another.

Aim instead, to engage in a more natural conversation with the child and

family drawing out the answers you are interested in by steering the

conversation in certain ways. For example, you might see the child

holding/playing with a particular toy, which might stimulate the discussion

about their interests and dislikes without asking the question directly. Or,

if you see a photograph of the family, ask the child to tell you about their

brothers/sisters etc. Obviously how this conversation goes will depend

very much on the age of the child and the response you get from the

family/child. You might follow certain things up with something from your

own life so the family sees you as having a normal life beyond teaching.

Yes – human!

Discuss ideas about what the child is most looking forward to and why and

perhaps what they are most apprehensive about so you can put their

mind at ease.

A big must is just to try and be as relaxed as possible while maintaining

your professionalism and try to put the family at ease so they feel

comfortable talking to you.

When you leave thank them for their time and hospitality, remind them

about how they can contact you if there is any further information they

would like. A final comment directed at the child, about looking forward

to their forthcoming start at school will also be a nice way to finish off the

conversation.

And don‟t eat all their chocolate biscuits.

A summary of things to remember:

Some people may feel intimidated by you coming into their home. They

may expect you to be judging them. It is your job to make them feel at

ease and to offer them an alternative visit location if they would feel more

comfortable.

Give plenty of prior warning about your intended visit and a reminder a

day or two before the actual date. People can forget.

As always, turn up on time and be prepared.

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Real Life Case Study

I have had many experiences of „hard to reach‟ parents but this is one particular

case. In the first round of parent-teacher interviews, the family did not make an

appointment. I followed up the meetings with a brief phone call inviting them to

attend a meeting at an alternative time that might be more suitable to them. I

was greeted with a rather reluctant, frosty tone and a comment that was

interpreted as „I don‟t really see the point of this but if you insist, then I suppose

we must.‟

So, the appointment was made, the time came around and the parents didn‟t

show. This was repeated several times followed by the same number of no-

shows. The next time I contacted the family, it was for two reasons. The first

was to let them know that their child had appeared in a video on the class blog

and the discussion that took place on the video had attracted international

attention from other teachers and classes for its quality. The family seemed

amazed at this and although they didn‟t have home access to the internet, said

they would try and find a way to view it. The tone of the conversation had now

changed; the ice had been broken.

The second part of my phone call was related to a bake sale our class was

hosting and asking parents to bring along some baking for it. Amazingly, this

parent not only made a cake but delivered it personally to school – as you can

imagine this was a real turning point. At the second round of parent teacher

interviews, I did manage to meet with the family and they were not only

genuinely interested and excited by the work their child had been doing but

ended up being the most inquisitive parents and asked numerous questions

about school.

This really supported my belief about giving the parents a reason to come in and

also that persistence, when delivered appropriately, pays off. Two days after

this last interview they came to pick up their son as normal – but they came

early, and asked him to share with them something he had been working on.

There was now a real interest in the school and what their son was being taught

in it!

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Parent-Teacher Interviews with a difference

At the beginning of the year, perhaps after the children have had a couple of

weeks to settle in, it can be a refreshing idea to have a parent/teacher interview

- not in the traditional sense of sharing information about a pupils learning but

instead to gain an insight into the child‟s interests, passions, hobbies, likes and

dislikes.

A meeting like this has several benefits:

Parents generally like to talk about their children, this gives them that

opportunity.

Having a time that is just about you (as the teacher) learning about the

child shows both the child and parents that you are interested in the

whole person rather than just the academic side.

You will leave armed with valuable information that you can use

throughout the year to engage and motivate your pupils.

This first formal conversation you have with the parents is likely to be a

positive one due to the intended focus and will hopefully provide a good

starting relationship if any issues arise throughout the year.

The table below could be used to help direct the conversation and serve as a

record for the discussion. Do try not to make it too much like a formal Q&A

interview and more like a natural conversation. This will help both parties feel at

ease and you won‟t seem as though you are there out of obligation, rather a

genuine desire to learn more about your pupils.

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Parent/Teacher Interview Information

Name:

Family:

Friends (social relationships):

Likes/Dislikes:

General Hobbies/Interests:

Specific Hobbies/Interests (e.g. sporting, musical, scientific etc.)

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Real Life Case Study

This involved a child who had not been inside a classroom for approximately two

years, who hated school, was violent, destructive and whose mum openly

admitted to being at her wits‟ end with him. When he eventually did start taking

work home with him, they both got frustrated as mum, poorly educated herself,

found understanding the work too hard to be able to offer help.

After a lot of combined support from several members of the school and lots of

reaching out to mum, we eventually got the boy into the classroom although not

much learning happened at first. Gradually, with continual efforts from both

home and school raising the expectations and standing firm on what we believed

in, we began to see results. I personally invested my time tutoring this

individual on a 1:1 basis outside of school time in an attempt to re-engage him

in classroom related activities without the fear of what his peers would think of

him. This strengthened my relationship with his mum who could see that

someone genuinely cared about her son and their situation and hadn‟t just

dismissed him as hopeless.

The boy did end up being fully reintegrated back into school and is now

successful in secondary school too. He would often go home and share his

learning with his mum being positively engaged with what we were doing. This

new-found attitude reduced the stresses at home and strengthened the family

relationship. Mum even went back to college herself to do several adult learning

courses - an incredibly brave thing to do and which made the son very proud.

This would have also served to reinforce the importance of education.

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Running successful meetings

Below I will discuss three types of meetings:

Parent/Teacher interviews (in the traditional sense of telling parents how

their children are getting on at school).

Student-Led Conferences.

Parent/Teacher meetings to discuss a concern (behavioural or learning).

Regardless of what it is you have called the meeting about, you need to be

prepared. This is really important to maintain your professionalism.

Meeting type #1: Parent/Teacher Interviews

This is probably the most common type of parent/teacher formal interaction but

sadly, probably hold a lot less benefit for the child than they could do. They are

often attended by parents and not children and therefore, depending on how you

run them and how proactive your parents are, a lot of the comments will

probably never reach the child! They do hold the benefit of getting to meet the

parents and allowing the parents to gain an understanding of how their child is

achieving at school.

Here are some golden rules for these meetings:

Make sure the classroom is tidy and organised.

Make sure you are too!

Make sure all pupils‟ books are up to date and marked thoughtfully.

Have the books for each child ready outside the classroom on a table so

parents can look at them before/after the meeting at their leisure.

Parents can then bring them into the room when they come in. You (or

even better, the child) may have put post-it notes in the book to highlight

their favourite pieces of work.

Make it personalised. Parents want to know that you know their child and

are not regurgitating the same old spiel for every child.

Avoid teacher jargon and speak in plain English. Jargon may confuse the

majority of parents but, more importantly, it will alienate those parents

who were unsure whether to come to the meeting in the first place. It

may make them feel embarrassed or ashamed that they do not

understand what you are talking about. By using teacher language, you

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will only be increasing the status gap perception which may not actually

exist, but which for some feels very real.

The following format can be useful when discussing each subject area:

What have you been learning?

What are the child‟s strengths at the moment?

What are the child‟s next learning steps?

Suggestions for ways parents can help at home.

I often make notes on the points I want to cover for each child. This can be very

beneficial particularly if you have lots of children and back to back meetings. If

you want to be super-organised, you could even put the suggestions for things

at home on a separate piece of paper and let the parents take it with them.

Meeting type #2: Student-Led Conferences

These serve the same purpose as parent/teacher interviews but are much more

effective. They switch the focus from the teacher, the „all knowing one‟, to the

student - the owner and director of their own learning.

For those unfamiliar with student-led conferences, they typically involve the

student presenting their learning to their parents in the form of what they‟ve

been learning, what they are good at, what they need to improve on, and how

they are going to effect those improvements. Parents are encouraged to ask

questions - the teacher is present as a „guide on the side‟ to support the student

when necessary or to answer any questions or concerns.

Students do need to be taught the skills to carry out this meeting and it is a

good reflection of your teaching as to whether or not they are able to verbalise

these key aspects about their learning. It is helpful if student-led conferences

are used as a whole school approach so children build up the skills and

experience of taking ownership of their learning in this way. It can be quite

surprising how many children suddenly „clam up‟ in front of their parents the first

time they have to discuss their learning like this… but at the same time, it‟s

wonderful to see their confidence grow the more you do it.

A word of warning. Parents do need to be well informed about the purpose,

nature and benefits of student-led conferences because if they are introduced

without explanation, it may appear that the teacher (you) has decided to take a

back seat but for the wrong reasons – ie, to get the student to do all the work.

You must keep them in the picture!

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A bookmark style resource can be given to students to support them with the

structure of the conference and be used as a prompt if they forget what they are

supposed to do. This is particularly useful for younger students or students who

are leading a student-led conference for the first time.

A similar resource can be offered to parents for suggestions of questions they

might ask their children. This might help particularly early on when parents are

not used to the system. The question: „Is there something you want to ask me?‟

can often throw parents and make them feel awkward; this resource will give

them a helping hand but of course they are free to ask their own questions.

A final pointer: Don‟t expect your students to be able to launch confidently into

these conferences from the word go. They will need modelling, support and lots

of practice as they would with anything new. It is imperative that they get

plenty of this before the „big day‟ so that they feel enthusiastic and empowered

by the experience rather than overwhelmed and daunted.

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Student Card

Introduce your family

to your teacher.

“I‟m going to share

some of my learning

from term „x‟ with

you.”

Explain what you did.

Explain what you

were learning.

Explain what you are

good at.

Explain what you

want to get better at.

“Is there anything

you want to ask me?”

“My hardest moment

has been.…”

“My proudest

moment has been….”

Thank your parent/s

Parent Card

Questions you might

want to ask your

child:

- Are you getting

better at „x‟? How

do you know?

- If you did this

again, what would

you do differently?

- What have you

most enjoyed

about this term?

- Did you get any

help with this piece

of work?

- What do you do if

it‟s tricky?

- What‟s your next

learning goal?

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Meeting type #3: Parent/Teacher meetings to discuss a concern (behavioural or learning)

If the issue is behaviour related, you need to make sure you have accurate

documentation of the facts - including previous exploration into possible triggers

for the behaviour, and the involvement of others. Take care however not to

mention names of other children to parents/caregivers as this would compromise

their privacy.

The approach you take to the meeting is crucial to the outcome and hence to the

future involvement of that parent and child. It is important that they do not feel

it is a personal attack on them and that they know you have considered all sides

of the situation. It is important that the parent and child both see that you are

there to help rather than to judge or criticise. Ask for their suggestions and

involvement with things that you could try to help the situation. Once a plan is

agreed upon by all parties, suggest a time frame for the implementation and

subsequent review and next steps. This ensures that the situation can be

closely monitored and any developments tracked.

If the issue is learning related, for example you are concerned that a child is

underachieving, proceed with some delicacy. You neither want to make the child

feel stupid nor make the parent feel blame. At the same time, if this is the first

time the parent has heard that their child is underachieving, you need to

consider why that is. The parent‟s first instinct might be that it is your fault as

this is the first they have heard about it. While ensuring the parent realises you

are a competent teacher and it is not your fault, you also need to maintain the

integrity of your colleagues who may not have picked up on any issues before,

or who may have dealt with it but perhaps not notified the parents.

Again, preparation is key and the following are suggested:

Have evidence of what the child‟s current achievement is and how this relates to

age related expectations. It is useful in this instance to comment that we are all

individuals and as such all progress at different rates.

Have evidence of any progress that the child has made as they are quite likely to

have made progress, it just might not be in line with „national expectations‟!

(Note: There are mixed views on informing parents of age related achievement

but it is my belief that they have a right to know. If they are in the know, they

can do more to help. If they remain misinformed then opportunities for support

may be missed particularly as evidence suggests that parental involvement in

learning can have very positive effects on student achievement.)

Show what the school has done in the past to support this child.

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Discuss the plan for the student‟s needs and what needs to be put in place

to support them further.

Discuss/show ways that the family can support the child at home.

In all these meetings keep in mind that at the end of the day, most parents just

want the best for their child. So, depending on your approach, most meetings

should be successful in supporting the child to move closer to whatever goal it is

they need to achieve.

Before the meeting

From the outset we have to create a positive atmosphere in which objectives are

clear to everyone involved.

Make sure there is a clearly defined purpose for the meeting and that both

teacher and parent (everyone involved) are aware of this purpose.

Have samples/proof/evidence of whatever is being discussed, so if for

example the pupil‟s lack of effort in class that is being discussed, have

samples of the pupil‟s work on hand, get proof of their performance in

other lessons and have copies of recent reports.

Prepare the meeting room - provide pens and paper so that both parties

can take notes. Arrange comfortable seating.

Prepare yourself - think of likely questions you will be asked and prepare

answers, and remind yourself to stay calm!

Meet the parents at the school entrance so that they don‟t feel

uncomfortable waiting around.

Thank them for their support and attendance.

At the start of the meeting

Speak plainly and honestly at their own level – the idea is to try and

create some sort of rapport with them and keep them at ease. Don‟t try to

talk down to them as if they are children themselves.

Start the meeting positively by finding positive things to say about their

child, his potential, performance in sport, ability to mix with others, recent

successes in other areas of the curriculum.

Convey the message that you share a common aim with the parents – the

welfare and success of their child - not that you just think the child should

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be punished or that you expect the parents to tell you what should be

done.

Getting down to business - dealing with the topic of the meeting

Describe the exact problem. Explain specifically what the pupil did or

exactly how they‟ve been behaving/working and back your observations

up with evidence in the form of teacher reports, incident forms,

statements, works samples, quotes from your behaviour diary or teacher

binder.

Ask for the parents’ view. When it is the parents‟ turn to speak, allow

them to do so, and listen attentively. Show understanding through active

listening. Always give parents an opportunity to give their side of the

story.

Ask the parents for help in light of the steps you’ve taken – are

there any aspects that can be followed up at home?

Decide on action that both you and the parents can take from now

on to solve the problem. Explain to the parents exactly what you plan

to do in school and how they can help at home.

Summarise the meeting. Clarify the main points and document the

proposed actions. (Use the „Parent Contact Log‟ pro-forma.)

Arrange a follow-up contact. Show the parents that you are committed

to helping their child by continuing to try and solve the problem. Arrange

a date for a follow up call home to inform of progress and reaffirm that

the parents can call you any time with queries or concerns.

Finish on a positive note. Always thank parents for taking the time to

come and see you or for telephoning you with their concerns. Assure them

that their support is greatly appreciated and makes the process of helping

their child much easier. Remember, we are trying to increase the contact

we have with parents and make ourselves more approachable. We are

unlikely to do so if we are rude to them or make them feel unwelcome.

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How to Avoid and Manage Confrontations With

Difficult Parents

When you‟re confronted by a particularly irate or aggressive parent try to

remember that it is unlikely that their anger or hostility is directed at you. It is

more likely to have something to do with their own experiences of school, their

personal backgrounds and how they may have been brought up to deal with

issues, or even insecurities about themselves or a feeling that they are looked

down upon. Whatever the reason, it is important that we maintain our

professionalism and learn ways to cope with, and defuse, these situations.

It is of utmost importance that serious incidents that result in parent/teacher

meetings are accurately documented detailing what happened and the action

you took. If you knew about the incident but do not actually have a detailed

written account, the situation might be harder to resolve. Before you begin, your

position has been undermined.

So, let‟s say you are fully aware of a particular situation, have taken the correct

course of action, and are therefore able to produce a written incident report. The

following simple tips can be used as a basis to help successfully manage any

specific scenario involving confrontations with parents:

1. STAY CALM AND POLITE. A display of anger from you, no matter how irate

a parent is, will exacerbate the problem. Remain calm, no matter how difficult

that may be. Speak in a calm, measured tone of voice.

„Good morning Mr. Brown, I understand your concern. I would like to reassure

you that the school takes incidences like this very seriously and the matter was

dealt with appropriately. As you can see, the bell is about to go and I must

place the learning of the children in my class including your son/daughter as a

priority but would be more than happy to talk to you about the incident after

school today.‟ (Or a time convenient for both of you).

„Mrs Jones, I‟m sorry that you don‟t feel happy with this aspect of the classroom

programme at the moment. I would be more than happy to sit down with you

and discuss any concerns you have at a time convenient for us both. At the

moment, class is about to start (or I have a meeting to go to) so unfortunately I

can‟t discuss it right now. The soonest available time would be … Would that be

suitable for you?‟

2. LISTEN. Don't argue or interrupt, just listen. Don‟t just put your point across

– they have concerns and worries, they have an opinion, and usually just want

to be heard. Ignore their attempts to be heard by steamrollering over them with

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yours, and you invite ill feeling. If you dismiss them and don‟t follow up with

their issue, the problem will only get worse. If you genuinely show that you are

interested in what they have to say and make a point of listening to them you

will find that they soon calm down.

3. REASSURE the parent that the matter has either been dealt with - or if you

did not know about it, that you will do everything you can to resolve the

situation as soon as possible.

4. ARRANGE A MEETING at a later time so the parent has had time to calm

down and you‟ve had time to think things through or resolve anything that

needs resolving. This also gives you time to prepare thoroughly by gathering

evidence/records and consulting other staff who can provide additional useful

information.

5. NEVER ARGUE. It‟s tempting to argue or even slam the phone down when

your attempts to placate an angry parent are met with a torrent of abuse. But all

you‟d be doing is handing over the control over your emotions to the angry

parent – just as you would to an irate pupil if you end up screaming at them. If

you argue with belligerent parents you reinforce any negative impressions they

already have about you, about school and about your colleagues. If they

become abusive, calmly say, „I'm sorry but I don't allow people to speak to me

this way. If we are going to sort this situation out you need to speak to me

properly. If you prefer, we can continue this another time when you have calmed

down.‟

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Appendix 1: Sample letters to parents

While it is obviously better if your letters to parents are personal and a reflection

of your own personality and style, we have provided a selection of letters as

starting points for a variety of uses and situations. The letters include:

Welcome letters (when starting in a new class)

A start of term newsletter

Polite reminders – eg, about punctuality, uniforms, belongings

Invitation to a mini-workshop

Letters about behaviour

Letters about positive achievements (behaviour or learning)

Each letter type has a few tips by it to support your writing and has been put

under specific subheadings. This provides an easy reference point when writing

that type of letter rather than reading the whole article all at once.

One general thing I would say is that in newsletters, which tend to be slightly

longer, try to include photographs of the children. A parent is much more likely

to read something with a picture of their child in it. This may be a whole class

photo or photos of individuals/groups from the class that represent the content

of the newsletter. (No photos have been included in the samples for privacy

reasons, and not because all the kids we know are monsters.)

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Welcome Letters

Dear

I want to welcome your child, [Name], to [grade/class]! I‟m excited about the

opportunity to get to know you too and I‟m looking forward to a happy and

productive school year.

This year we will focus on the following curriculum areas:

[text]

[text]

[text]

Please have your child bring the following items to school before [date]:

[text]

[text]

[text]

My homework policy is [homework policy].

My grading policy is [grading policy].

Upcoming school events you should be aware of include:

[Event] [Date]

[Event] [Date]

Please mark these dates on your calendar. I hope you will make it a priority this

year to attend as many school-sponsored events as possible.

We welcome visitors to our classroom, and we always appreciate parents

volunteering to help out. Some volunteer opportunities that will be available this

year are:

[Opportunity]

[Opportunity]

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Class Blog

In previous years, I have run a class blog that is very successful and the children

enjoyed it. I will be carrying this on again this year. At the moment, we will

just be using it to post general information about what we have been doing

altogether in class. However you will soon receive a letter giving a more detailed

explanation of the blog and what the class will be using it for. It is a great

opportunity for the children to widen their understanding of the world. It also

flattens our classroom walls giving you a better idea of what we‟ve been doing

and allows families who live in other parts of the country/world to see what their

cousins / grandchildren / nephews etc. are doing in school.

Please feel free to visit it here:

[blog address]

You can even leave a comment for the class!

Final comments

My door is always open and if anyone has any questions, concerns or just wants

a chat please feel free to drop by. If for whatever reason I am unavailable, I

would be more than happy to make a time that would be convenient for us both.

You can contact me at [phone number] or [e-mail address].

Let‟s work together to make this the best year ever!

Regards,

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Dear

I would like to introduce myself as your child‟s new science teacher/class teacher

this year and to say how thrilled I am to have him/her in my class.

This year will be very exciting as we‟ll be covering modules on

__________________ which will include a wide range of practical activities and

field trips. It would help if you could ensure (name) has the following pieces of

school equipment: ______________________________________________.

Homework for this subject will be set every Monday and Wednesday and will

consist of assignments from their syllabus. Each assignment should take around

1 hour and should be handed in the following week.

In case you are not already aware, there is also a „Back to School‟ parent

meeting on ____________ which would be a wonderful opportunity to meet in

person and discuss any concerns you may have.

You can contact me at school on ______________ if you need my assistance.

I look forward to working with your child and hope we can work together to

ensure his success.

Sincerely,

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Start of Term Newsletter:

Dear

Welcome back to school and welcome to Term 3! We‟ve had a great start to the

week and all the children seem refreshed and ready to learn again which is

great. This is another long one with lots to cover so as usual, please bear with

me until the end!

This term’s theme:

The school wide theme this term is „uncertainty‟ and we will be looking at it

through the idea of trying new things and challenging yourself: how you may be

uncertain to start with but as you practise and improve, things become less

uncertain and you begin to see great improvement. As part of this, we will be

looking at the Olympic Games and trying out new things related to different

countries represented in the competition; this might be music, dance, food,

language etc.

If you happen to be from a country in the games (most of them, I think) and

would like to be part of our theme, we would love to have you in to teach us a

dance, some music, language or whatever you have to offer.

Maths:

Our focus over the next few weeks will be „time‟, then we‟ll move on to „fractions

and ratios‟. There will also be a big emphasis on basic facts (see the homework

section) as this will be crucial to most children‟s next steps in addition and

subtraction.

With our work on „time‟, it would be great if you could start using time regularly

with your children so their learning is reinforced and made more meaningful.

Having a concept of time by discussing things such as how long it takes to:

brush their teeth, eat their breakfast, watch their favourite TV programme, get

their lazy bodies out of bed etc. will help support the children‟s understanding as

well.

Literacy:

This remains mostly the same as last term. Children will have either a book

from their browsing box (this will be at a lower level than their guided reading

book) or one that they have done as part of guided reading with me, but they

should be bringing home a book every night (some groups may bring home

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chapter books or Junior Journals which may take several nights to read). This

will start from next week.

In writing this term, we are going to be finishing our animal reports, looking at

Maori myths and legends and other forms of narrative. We will continue with

children‟s regular recount writing about their weekends.

Your child may also bring home a book review book as part of our library work.

This is something they will have chosen to do rather than been asked to do.

Instructions for what to do are in the book and have been explained to all the

children.

Homework:

Homework will remain the same as last term. Children will be expected to read

their book every night and practise their spellings and basic facts every night.

I have modified the way I will be assessing the basic facts so I can do this more

efficiently and more regularly for all children. Children will complete a weekly

test and have been given a target of moving to the next set of basic facts within

two weeks (although this will vary slightly between children). Please support

your child in this by helping them practise for a few minutes every day. If you

want any games to support their learning at home, please come and see me and

I will arrange this. Remember there are also lots of games on the class blog if

you have internet access.

Spelling/basic facts books will stay with me on Friday and be returned to the

children on Monday.

Parent Help:

I‟m always after parent help for various things and am always overwhelmed with

the responses I get - so thank you! Here are a few things you might be

interested in:

I am hoping to run a mini technology project involving sewing to create a

mini-rugby figure (this depends on the cost of materials and parent help).

I will only be able to do this if I have 4 or 5 parent helpers. You can

imagine how hard it would be with twenty 6-7 year olds threading needles

and tying knots! I will run it as two full days to help it run more

smoothly. If you‟re interested, please let me know.

Parent help during swimming.

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A skill you are willing to teach us (related to an Olympic country) as part

of our „uncertainty‟ theme.

The Postcard Project: There are now 89 classes, from 10 countries in 5 of

the 6 continents (Antarctica hasn‟t signed up yet!) who have joined our

exciting Postcard Project. If you can offer support in terms of donations

towards stamps (which cost £x.xx each) or actual international stamps,

this would be appreciated.

The Blog:

Our blog is receiving a lot of national and international attention thanks to the

high quality work that I am able to put on it from the children – great job kids!

The Postcard Project was even mentioned at a recent global professional

development conference for teachers.

You can be part of it by visiting, leaving comments and encouraging family and

friends to visit and comment too. There are instructions on how to comment on

the blog under the section „Leaving Us A Comment‟. It‟s been great reading lots

of positive feedback from families who are regulars on the blog. If you don‟t

have internet access but would like to have a look, let me know and I‟ll arrange

a time for you and your child to use a computer at school.

I think that‟s all! As always, my door is open for questions, comments, concerns.

I‟m normally available straight away but if I‟m not, we can make a time that

suits us both.

Regards,

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Reminders about punctuality, uniform, belongings:

Dear

We are already over half way through the term, I can‟t believe how fast it is

going!

Changes to Reading:

As the books that some of the children are reading are becoming longer and

more complex, we will be spending more time reading them and exploring the

ideas. As a result, we will often use the same book over one week. So that

children are still getting enough reading practice at home, the children will now

be selecting books for home that we have not necessarily read in class during

the week but should be of such a level that the children can read them

independently. This will most likely be a book they have read at some point in

the past. So, you should expect your child to bring a different book home every

night. The previous day‟s book should be returned to school each day so

someone else can read it.

Spelling and basic facts books will continue as normal, these should be coming

home every night (except for the weekend). It‟s been great to see children

taking ownership of these and coming to tell me that they are ready to be tested

on their basic facts.

Class Blog and Project Blog:

Two parents have kindly offered to help us with our class blog so thank you for

your support. If anyone else would like to help, I still have one slot available for

parent help. If you have access to the internet, please check up on our blog and

see what we‟ve been doing. It would be great if parents started leaving

comments for us.

If you haven‟t yet brought back the signed permission slip for your child, please

do so as soon as possible.

We also have a blog for our project on South East Asia. Information about what

we are doing is starting to go up so take a look:

http://connectingchildren.edublogs.org

Friendly reminders: School start, Uniform, Book Bags:

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School starts at 8.55am. There have been an increasing number of children

arriving several minutes after this time. Although 1 or 2 minutes may not seem

like much, when children arrive after the bell has gone, it becomes quite

distracting for those already in the classroom if other children are busy putting

away their things and getting ready for the day. If children arrive well before

8.55 it is also a good social time for the children to spend with their peers.

A few interesting variations on the uniform are sneaking in and although they‟re

colourful, the school does have a uniform policy. Let‟s keep our children looking

smart!

Thanks to all those children who remember their book bag on a daily basis. We

use the items in this everyday for our learning so if children come to school

without it they are missing valuable learning opportunities. Please support your

child and the school by helping them with ways to remember their things each

day.

Regards,

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Invitation to a mini-workshop

Dear

I would like to invite you to a short meeting on _________________ at

_________ am/pm to discuss some ideas for activities and games that might

help support your child with their maths learning at home. This will be a group

meeting with a maximum of 3 parents and their children. At the end, I will give

you a small resource pack, which you can add to as well, for use with your child

at home.

It would be great if you and your child could join me.

Regards,

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Letters about behaviour

Make them short and to the point but give precise details of what has

happened and will be happening.

Ideally make some form of personal contact like a telephone call before

you send a letter. The procedure can seem impersonal otherwise, and

you could be less likely to end up with a supportive parent.

Depending on the incident, the letter may come from senior management

instead of you. If it does come from you then have it checked and

approved by senior management so they are fully aware of the situation.

Ensure that the letter seems proactive in terms of the support the school

wants to offer to try to resolve the situation and prevent similar future

incidences.

Dear

Following our telephone conversation on _________________ this letter gives a

written account of our discussion.

On _______________ Jonathan was involved in a serious incident that involved

a physical attack on another child. Jonathan was called a name by another boy

and reacted by punching the boy in the mouth. The school takes this type of

incident very seriously and we would like to work together with Jonathan, the

school and your family to provide support to him to help him find more

acceptable ways of solving his problems. The school considers Jonathan‟s

actions unacceptable but also understands that they were a result of someone

else‟s actions too. We can assure you we are dealing with all areas of this

incident.

We would like to invite Jonathan and yourself to a meeting on

___________________ at ___________ am/pm as discussed in our telephone

conversation. If for whatever reason this time becomes unsuitable please advise

the school as soon as possible so a new meeting can be arranged.

We thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,

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Dear

I am writing to inform you that [Child Name] is having some behavioral

problems. I would greatly appreciate your cooperation in working with me

to resolve these issues.

In order to keep the class productive and calm, it is essential that each

child in my classroom avoid certain behaviours. I‟ve marked the problem

areas for your child below. [Child Name] must improve in these areas to

develop his/her full potential.

[__] Excessive talking

[__] Lack of effort

[__] Lack of attention

[__] Disrespect to others

[__] Incomplete or late assignments

[__] Missing assignments

[__] Poor test scores

[__] Excessive detentions

I would like to meet with you as soon as possible to discuss these

problems and how we can help [Child Name] resolve them.

Sincerely,

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Letters about positive achievements (behaviour or learning)

Try to avoid using plain paper for these. They could instead be on a

school achievement template or a postcard, or even in the style of a

postcard with a picture of the child doing whatever the letter/postcard is

related to. This could then be laminated.

Be specific about why you are sending the letter/postcard.

Send these out irregularly and don‟t tell kids you‟ve sent them – this will

add to the surprise factor.

Dear

I am delighted to tell you that Molly has been making some outstanding choices

recently and really thinking about the goals we discussed together. Molly is

finding it much easier to think about what she is going to do before she does it

and is choosing to talk about her problems with adults or her peers rather than

resorting to physical actions as before.

Both the school and I wanted to share these successes with you. We know Molly

is very proud of her achievements and we are sure you will be too.

Regards,

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Appendix 2: Documenting Parental Contact

Parent Contact Log

Student_________________________________________________________

Parent/Guarian___________________________________________________

Date of call or meeting_____________________________________________

Type of contact___________________________________________________

Person initiating the contact________________________________________

Statement of problem______________________________________________

Steps taken so far:

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

Parent Comments/suggestions:

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

Action to be taken by teacher/school:

[text]

[text]

[text]

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[text]

Action required by Parent/Guardian:

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

[text]

Follow up: ______________________________________________________

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Positive Parent Log

Class______________________________

Term________________________

N=Note TC=Telephone call M=Meeting

Student Wk1 Wk2 Wk3 Wk4 Wk5 Wk6 Wk7

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Appendix 3: Home Visit Information Sheet

Name:

Family:

Friends (social relationships):

Likes/Dislikes:

General Hobbies/Interests:

Specific Hobbies/Interests (sporting, musical, scientific etc.)

Subject interest areas (if any):

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References:

Fan, X. and Chen, M. (2001) Parental involvement and students‟ academic

achievement: A meta-analysis. Educational Psychology Review. 13, 1–22.

Feinstein, L. and Symons, J. (1999). Attainment in secondary school. Oxford

Economic Papers. 51, 300-321.

Harris, A., & Goodall, J. (2007). Engaging parents in raising achievement: do

parents know they matter? (Online:

http://www.educationbraintrust.com/news/engaging_parents.htm)

Henderson, A. T. and Mapp, K. L. (2002) A new wave of evidence: The impact of

school, family, and community connections on student achievement. Annual

Synthesis 2002. Austin, TX: Southwest Educational Development Laboratory,

National Center for Family & Community Connections with Schools.

(Online: www.sedl.org/connections/resources/evidence.pdf)

Marcon, R. A. (1999) Positive relationships between parent school involvement

and public inner-city preschoolers‟ development and academic performance.

School Psychology Review. 28, 395– 412.

Reynolds, A. J. (1991) Early schooling of children at risk. American Educational

Research Journal. 28, 392– 422.

Vickers, H.S. and Minke, K.M. (1995) Exploring parent-teacher relationships:

Joining and communication to others. School Psychology Quarterly. 10, 133-

150