***special report*** get the parentsbnstuff.s3.amazonaws.com/products/get_the_parents_on...the step...
TRANSCRIPT
The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect with Hard to
Reach Parents
www.behaviourneeds.com
***SPECIAL REPORT***
PARENTS Get The
On Board
Get The Parents On Board
The Step by Step Method To Help Teachers Connect With Hard To Reach Parents
http://www.behaviourneeds.com
Copyright 2011 Behaviour Needs
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
The information in this document is protected by one or more world-wide copyright treaties and may not be reprinted, copied, redistributed, retransmitted, photocopied, displayed, or stored
electronically or by any means whatsoever without the express written permission of the author. DISCLAIMER AND/OR LEGAL NOTICES:
The information presented herein represents the view of the author as of the date of publication. The author reserves the right to alter and update his opinion. This report is for information purposes only. It is not intended to provide exact or precise advice. The contents reflect the
author‟s views acquired through his experience and knowledge on the subject under discussion. The author and publisher disclaim any liability for personal or business loss caused by the use of or misuse of or inability to use any or all of the information contained in this report. This report is a
guide only, as such, use the information at your own risk.
Rob Plevin is an ex-deputy head teacher, behaviour management specialist and relentless optimist. He runs the
websites www.behaviourneeds.com, www.classroom-expert.com & www.lesson-ology.com and presents training
courses internationally on working successfully with challenging young people for teachers, lecturers, care workers, prison officers and parents. His live courses and INSET sessions are
frequently described as „unforgettable‟ (by attendees with proven high standards of memory) and he was rated as an
„outstanding‟ teacher by the UK‟s Office for Standards in Education.
"I found Rob Plevin's workshop just in time to save me from giving up. It should
be compulsory - everybody in teaching should attend a Needs-Focused workshop
and meet the man with such a big heart who will make you see the important
part you can play in the lives of your most difficult pupils."
Heather Beames, Teacher, London course attendee
To book Rob for INSET or to enquire about live training please visit the help desk at www.behaviourneeds.com/helpdesk OR CALL 08452712818 (UK)
Available products
Lesson-Ology
Novel resources to make lessons engaging, active & FUN http://www.lesson-ology.com
Confident Classroom Management The complete online behaviour support site for education professionals
http://www.confidentclassroommanagement.com
Free Classroom Management Mini-course http://www.behaviourneeds.com/minicourse
Did You Know?
We usually sell these special reports for between $17 & $37 each and we produce at least one report each month. But did you know you get them FREE as part of your membership to Confident Classroom Management?
Confident Classroom Management is the new one-stop solution for teachers,
lecturers and education professionals who need ready-to-use solutions and ongoing support & guidance for managing challenging behaviour in the classroom.
FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN REGAIN CONTROL
IN ANY CLASSROOM FOR JUST $1
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
i
Table of Contents
Introduction .................................................................................................. 1
Why are some Parents Hard to Reach? ............................................................. 2
Breaking the cycle .......................................................................................... 4
Break the cycle with REGULAR contact .............................................................. 5
Contact method #1: In person (Informal) ................................................ 6
Contact method #2: In Person (Formal) .................................................. 6
Contact method #3: Telephone .............................................................. 7
Contact method #4: Text Message .......................................................... 7
Contact method #5: Email ..................................................................... 7
Contact method #6: Letters/Postcards .................................................... 8
Contact method #7: Newsletters ............................................................ 9
Contact method #8: Home/school books or diaries ................................... 9
Contact method #9: Blogs ................................................................... 10
Real life Case Study ................................................................... 10
Break the Cycle By Making it Easy for Parents ................................................. 12
„Make it easy‟ method #1: Make yourself approachable ........................... 12
Top 10 Ways to Involve Parents in the Classroom .......................... 12
„Make it easy‟ method #2: Give parents multiple ways to
keep in touch with you ............................................................... 13
Break the Cycle by Giving Parents Specific Reasons to Come in or Make Contact With School .................................................................... 14
Mini-workshops .................................................................................. 14
Show day ........................................................................................... 15
Break the Cycle by Encouraging Students to Talk About School at Home ................................................................................................ 16
Encouragement method #1. Give them something to talk
about ....................................................................................... 16
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
ii
Encouragement method #2. Use your Blog ............................................ 17
Encouragement method #3. Home/School Discussion Clouds ................... 17
Helping to promote discussions about school at home .................... 17
Documenting Parental Contact ....................................................................... 19
Successful home visits .................................................................................. 20
Making contact for the home visit. ............................................... 20
On the day: .............................................................................. 20
A summary of things to remember: .............................................. 21
Real Life Case Study .................................................................. 22
Parent-Teacher Interviews with a difference .................................................... 23
Parent/Teacher Interview Information ................................................... 24
Real Life Case Study .................................................................. 25
Running successful meetings ......................................................................... 26
Meeting type #1: Parent/Teacher Interviews .......................................... 26
Here are some golden rules for these meetings: ............................ 26
The following format can be useful when discussing each subject area: ............................................................ 27
Meeting type #2: Student-Led Conferences ............................................ 27
Meeting type #3: Parent/Teacher meetings to discuss a
concern (behavioural or learning) ................................................ 30
Before the meeting .................................................................... 31
At the start of the meeting .......................................................... 31
Getting down to business - dealing with the topic of the meeting ..................................................................... 32
How to Avoid and Manage Confrontations With Difficult Parents ......................... 33
Appendix 1: Sample letters to parents ............................................................ 35
Welcome Letters ................................................................................. 36
Start of Term Newsletter: .................................................................... 39
Reminders about punctuality, uniform, belongings: ................................. 42
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
iii
Invitation to a mini-workshop ............................................................... 44
Letters about behaviour ....................................................................... 45
Letters about positive achievements (behaviour or learning) .................... 47
Appendix 2: Documenting Parental Contact ..................................................... 48
Appendix 3: Home Visit Information Sheet ...................................................... 51
References: ................................................................................................. 52
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
1
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Introduction
Research has shown that when parents support learning in the home, beyond
just supervising homework, there are likely to be significant improvements in
terms of attendance, behaviour and student achievement.1 Other researchers
have also concluded that a parent-teacher relationship which fosters the
characteristics of warmth, respect and common expectations, leads to students
achieving more and making better adjustments in terms of their social,
emotional and behavioural characteristics.2
One of the most interesting findings that emerged from the esteemed Harris and
Goodall‟s research is that of all the types of parents, it was the „hard to reach‟
whose involvement had the biggest impact in terms of said improved
attendance, behaviour and student achievement.
So, if we can engage these parents, it appears that we can go a long way to
improving the outcomes for the more challenging students in our care. What
was also interesting about the findings of this research was that these „hard to
reach‟ parents often regarded the school and teachers as „hard to reach‟ too;
which is an interesting perspective to consider. Knowing that the parents we are
trying to connect with may feel this way may begin to support us as teachers in
finding some way to engage them.
If we can reflect honestly on what it is that has made us appear hard to reach
then we can begin to address the issue, to make ourselves more approachable,
and then reap the benefits. That is the aim of this report.
First, let‟s examine why some parents actually become „hard to reach‟...
1 Harris & Goodall, 2007 2 Fan & Chen, 2001; Henderson & Mapp, 2002; Marcon, 1999; Reynolds, 1991)
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
2
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Why Are Some Parents Hard to Reach?
When a student is seen to be causing trouble in school for any period of time, his
parents or guardians will almost certainly have had contact with teachers – and
it will have been negative.
They‟ve been informed:
when he‟s skipped class
when he‟s failed repeatedly to hand in homework
when he‟s been in a fight
when he‟s been abusive to staff
and so on
… but they haven‟t had the school ring up and commend him for doing
something right.
They‟ll no doubt have been summoned to numerous meetings to discuss his
future and will have a collection of report cards, detention slips and warning
letters. Focusing on what a student is doing wrong in school is, sadly, very
common and in some cases parents may have had years of constant complaints
about their child. Is it any wonder that they may feel let down? Indeed, if they
themselves failed at school (as is often the case) their opinion of the education
system in general is not likely to be a favourable one.
If you‟ve ever had a bad relationship with your bank you‟ll know what I‟m talking
about; you feel sick every time you get a letter from them. And no matter how
many times they telephone or write, you still don‟t want to speak to them and
you open letters with trepidation. The last thing you want is to be reminded of
the trouble you‟re in. This is why it is so difficult to win the trust and support of
some parents.
In this report we are going to look at ways of breaking the cycle of negativity so
that parents will actually want to hear from us and will be eager to help us.
We‟re also going to make it very easy for them to do so.
Before we get into the solutions let‟s first have a quick look at a summary of the
main reasons why parents may appear disinterested in their child‟s education or
seem to want nothing to do with the school. Being aware of these problems will
help us find the solutions to gain their trust and support.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
3
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
1. They think teachers would look down on them. Experience tells them
that teachers have only bad things to say about their child. They expect to hear
nothing but negative comments.
2. They see education as the school’s responsibility, not a home
responsibility. Their own family experiences placed little importance on
education so they hold these values too.
3. Keeping in contact with the school/teacher isn’t easy. Work or other
commitments may prevent them from attending meetings. They may not like
speaking on the telephone or in person.
4. They feel they lack the skills to support learning at home. Without
adequate support and guidance there is a fear that their own lack of academic
achievements will mean that they are incapable of helping their child with
homework and other school-related activities.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
4
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Breaking the cycle
The first thing we need to do, and the area we need to focus on, is change the
parent‟s negative view of school. We need to break the negative cycle and
change their expectation that every communication from school will be a
negative one.
Easier said than done? No, not necessarily. Let‟s go back to the bank analogy.
The way to restore you relationship with the bank when they see you as a huge
risk and want nothing to do with you is to give them what they want and it‟s
exactly the same with parents who view school as either irrelevant or
threatening.
The bank wants positive news about your finances – the parents want positive
news about their child. I know what you‟re thinking: „But how can I give them
good news about Ryan? He never does anything good!‟
The truth is that every child does something to warrant praise and we must
notice these moments. If we want to break the negative cycle we must look for,
find and acknowledge things to praise. Then we pass on the acknowledgement to
the parents - and it doesn‟t matter if it‟s a small matter, the important thing is
that it‟s positive. This is without doubt the best and fastest method I have found
to gain the support and allegiance of hard to reach parents.3
3 Rob Plevin – years of practical experience!
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
5
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Break the cycle with REGULAR contact
Can you see how the following 30-second conversation will start to build bonds
between school and home?
“Hello, is that Alison? It‟s Rob Plevin here from the school. How are you? It‟s just
a very quick call to let you know that Ryan made a lot of good progress today.
I‟ve spoken to his subject teachers and they have all had good things to say
about him. Ian Brown, his maths teacher was very impressed and asked me to
tell you that he was very pleased to see he had brought his homework in. I was
particularly pleased to hear that he kept himself out of trouble today in
geography. He is working very hard to put last week‟s silliness behind him.
So that‟s it really. We‟re all very pleased – be sure to tell him I called and spoke
to you. I‟ll give you another update in the next few days.
Bye.”
That call took about thirty seconds, a minute at most. What will happen if I was
to repeat this simple process and make two or three of those calls in a week to a
parent? I‟ll tell you exactly; they will start to view the school in a totally different
light.
You‟re probably thinking that a) this sounds like a lot of work and b) „I‟m going
to lose my voice!‟. After all, you teach hundreds of students every week. How
are you supposed to make a call home for each one? Well, you don‟t! You‟re
going to concentrate on the students who really need this additional support.
Does that mean you ignore the good students? No, not at all. They fully deserve
that you keep in touch with their parents but your efforts need to be
concentrated on those parents who currently very seldom have positive contact
from school. There‟s also very good reason for investing your time in this, one
which you may not have considered...
When you make these regular short contacts with home – either by letter, short
note, phone call, text message, semaphore - you begin to be seen as perhaps
the only teacher who has ever really cared about their family. These parents
start to believe, possibly for the first time ever, that someone in authority
actually has their interests at heart and shares with them a common goal – the
welfare and success of their child. The effect of this cannot be overestimated.
Once the barriers start to crumble the parents begin to trust you – and you have
powerful allies to help make your job easier and more successful.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
6
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Just think about it. Currently when you look for support from home you get
none. When you need the parent of little Jonny to follow up at home and ensure
he faces a consequence as a result of something he did in school you get a brick
wall or a string of false promises. In short, when you need Jonny‟s parents to
help you turn his behaviour around - you get nothing.
But when his parents see you as a family friend, when they can trust you, they
will leap at the chance to offer their assistance. They will trust your judgement
and they‟ll know that you are acting with their interests at heart. They will turn
up for meetings with a smile and Jonny will quickly see that school and home
work together to help him.
There are numerous ways to keep in touch with parents. You will most likely use
the method that best suits you – and what works best for the parents.
Communication will most likely involve a combination of several methods.
Here are the most common you could choose from...
Contact method #1: In person (Informal)
This method is particularly useful if you work with younger students (early
primary) whose parents will drop them off or pick them up from school. Having
a quick chat with a range of parents before or after school can be a nice way of
letting them know the little day to day things. This could be a recent
achievement, an outstanding piece of work the child did, or even a small matter
that can be ironed out with a quick chat. Just be careful what you say at these
times and remember there are eyes and ears everywhere; if it‟s personal and
something the parents or child may wish not to be made public, it may be worth
making arrangements for a private chat.
For those with older students whose parents don‟t come and pick them up, this
method isn‟t so suitable purely because there aren‟t so many natural
opportunities. However, if you have a child who has a particular on-going issue,
for example with their behaviour, it may benefit if the parent pays you a quick
visit at the end of each day just to find out how things have gone. If the
message is coming from both home and school, this will speed up the process of
positive change. When you initiate these conversations it is important that you
find some positive aspects to the day and encourage the parent that, although
there are difficulties and problems, you are confident that the scale will begin to
tip the other way.
Contact method #2: In Person (Formal)
This is where you have arranged a meeting with a parent and/or their child (see
parent/teacher meetings below). The benefit of these formal meetings are that
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
7
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
no-one else can hear your conversation (unlike informal settings) and they
allow you to give a parent 100% attention.
Contact method #3: Telephone
Telephone calls like the one detailed above take a minute or two and are
incredibly effective for building relationships between the teacher and parent.
Expect the first few conversations to be stilted and perhaps a little awkward but
if you make calls regularly, you can soon find yourself chatting away with
parents who just a few weeks earlier didn‟t even know your first name.
Tip: Once the conversations start to progress beyond “Hello, he was fine today,
goodbye”, you‟ll find that parents very quickly start to share more and more
information about the family. Indeed, as the relationship grows, it is quite
common for a caring teacher to be privy to all the latest family news. Try to
make note of the fact that it‟s grandma‟s birthday next week or that the man of
the house has just got a new job and even that the cat has just had kittens,
because these little insights can help build relationships very quickly. Next time
you call, just make sure you refer back to some of this information – such as
asking how grandma enjoyed her birthday, how Mr Brown‟s new job is going,
and can I have a kitten please. It is showing that you listen to them, and care,
and are not just a nameless face from that school where nobody gives two hoots
about them.
Contact method #4: Text Message
Virtually everyone has a mobile phone now, and in fact reports are circulating of
children being born with them grafted into palms – it seems that way! Use it
though as a convenient and user-friendly way to communicate. If a child is
having a great day, sending an impromptu text to their mum/dad/care giver at
playtime, lunchtime or after school just saying what a great day they are having
can be very motivational. It is these frequent brief contacts which build
relationships between school and home. If you don‟t feel happy giving out your
personal mobile number for texts or phone calls buy a separate mobile and keep
it solely for school purposes. Give parents this dedicated number on all your
communications with them so that they are always able to contact you by either
phone or text.
Contact method #5: Email
This is particularly useful for several reasons. Firstly, children who require a
great deal of structure to the school day, for example those on the autistic
spectrum, can benefit from this. Changes to routine can be emailed in advance
to the parents so this can be discussed with the child before they come to
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
8
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
school, allowing them to feel more prepared and therefore more in control of the
situation.
In extreme cases it may be useful to email the day‟s timetable on a daily basis
giving details of what the student will be doing for each lesson/part of the day.
By doing so, likely trouble hotspots can be highlighted and explicit preventive
instructions can be provided to the parent to prepare the student. Doing this on
a daily basis can be time consuming but can also prevent or solve many
problems. It also shows parents how much you care and will mean they are
much more cooperative when something goes wrong.
Another great reason for using email is that is enables a great deal of
information to be sent very quickly. Some students cannot be relied upon to
return detention slips, report cards, homework and other correspondence and
this method means the classic „I didn‟t receive it‟ response can be avoided. This
is perfect for parents who have limited time or are difficult to contact due to
work commitments.
Contact method #6: Letters/Postcards
This has such a positive impact on students that I only wish I‟d started doing it
earlier in my career. It can transform a previously negative child into one who is
motivated and eager to please, and it can even happen overnight. This is also
one method that works well even with pupils up to age 16 and beyond. It is also
very effective for pupils who don‟t accept public praise very well – a letter home
means their mates will never find out!
But there is also a further „hidden‟ benefit in addition to the improvements in
behaviour and work rate: it gives you an important written document to add to
your „written records‟ which will be handy in parent/teacher meetings.
Letters home can be „quick notes‟ or more formal, traditional letters on school
headed paper. They can be given out as „spot rewards‟ for pieces of particularly
good work or improvements in behaviour or for sustained effort. In this case you
could send a letter home after a student has earned 5 stickers (younger pupils)
or 5 merits (older pupils).
When making these praise notes, remember to be explicit about what it was
that the child did to make a positive improvement to their behaviour or to
produce a great piece of work. This will help to cement the understanding that it
was their own choices and actions that produced the outcome and will help them
repeat the behaviours in future.
For example, rather than just saying:
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
9
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
„Tim‟s behaviour has got much better recently,‟ be explicit about what he did to
improve his behaviour and what the positive outcomes are. „Tim has been
making some excellent choices today and he is thinking things through before he
acts. Because of this, he is developing much more positive relationships with his
friends and he is able to focus on his learning more. Great effort Tim, I am
really proud of you.‟
Contact method #7: Newsletters
These are great to send out once or twice a term just to give parents an
overview of what you are learning about. This can be a great way for parents to
get involved with incidental home learning. For example, if they know you are
learning about time in maths, they may be more likely to talk about this at home
and support your teaching. Offering suggestions on how they can do this as part
of the newsletter can also be useful. It‟ll be a pleasant surprise when a parent
comes to you and says, „Thanks for that suggestion, it‟s been really useful, I
hadn‟t thought of that before.‟ Following a similar newsletter to this, several
kids in my class soon came to school wearing wristwatches that their parents
had bought them because the kids were always talking about time (and this was
not at a school where parents have an endless supply of money, it was in an
area of socio-economic deprivation).
Regular newsletters about the goings on in your classroom provide a great way
to connect between home and school. If parents know what you are doing in
the classroom, they will feel more involved. It‟s also a great way to involve the
community in terms of their expertise – many of your parents may have a skill
that can support a current area in your classroom programme or may even offer
to help out with a particular subject area on a regular basis. Obviously this has
its upsides and downsides as there may be some parents that offer to help but
can become more of a hindrance despite their good intentions. In cases like
this, you have to try and come up with a valid reason why you no longer require
their help without breaking those relationships you‟ve spent so long building.
Contact method #8: Home/school books or diaries
These can be particularly useful for children who have behavioural issues but
whose parents don‟t necessarily come and pick them up from school. It can be a
great way to keep in contact and can be used not just for your own notes at
school but also for parents to note down aspects related to home behaviour.
The disadvantage of these is that they can get lost, forgotten or „accidentally‟
misplaced! They do need to be updated on a daily basis to maintain consistency
and this can be hard with the hectic lives that we lead at school. If these
reasons are posing a problem then one of the alternative methods of
communication above may be better.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
10
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Contact method #9: Blogs
Blogs can be one of the most powerful ways of not just keeping in touch with
families but also making families feel like they are part of your classroom.
Regular updates including photographs, movie clips, work samples about life in
your classroom will attract parents in ways that you never thought possible. The
nature of blogs allows parents to comment on work and therefore develop a
dialogue between families, children and you. To keep them successful though,
they must be kept up to date; if parents see that nothing has changed for
several weeks then they will lose interest and stop visiting.
Blogs provide a great platform not just to showcase student learning and share
what‟s been going on in your class; they are also a great place to give examples
of strategies you‟ve been learning in maths, in the form of a video for example.
This will be another way to help parents feel more in the loop with what‟s going
on in today‟s classroom. They are less likely to feel isolated or „out of touch‟.
The internet sites I talk about below can also be put on as links onto your blog
so students can find a range of educational games in one easy to find place.
All these communications with parents show that you care deeply and are taking
a keen interest in their child. It means a lot and with some children you may be
the only teacher to have done this.
Real life Case Study
I remember on the first day of a new school year when all the children were
lined up in the playground ready to be brought in by their new teachers, a
parent came up to me and said, „That‟s my boy over there, you‟ll have trouble
with him.‟ To which I replied, „I‟m sure we‟ll get along fine.‟ I used to meet this
parent every day after school with the child to discuss the day, including what
went well and what didn‟t, the reasons for his actions, and what he could have
done differently. I can‟t remember how long it took but the pupil could see the
positive relationship that his mum and I had and how consistent we both were in
our approach and expectations and that everything that happened (positive and
negative) was followed up at both home and school.
In the end, he actually used to look forward to his mum coming at the end of the
day and would play jokes on her (encouraging me to play along as well)
pretending he had had an awful day later revealing he‟d actually had a fantastic
day. After a long period of consistently positive news at the end of each day, I
would see her occasionally for informal chats but there was no longer a need for
daily visits. The boy‟s motivation and engagement in class increased and I
remember distinctly the day he came to me beaming with pride over a piece of
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
11
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
work he did saying, „Sir, you‟re gonna love this, it‟s got adverbs, connectives,
the lot!‟ He had completely revised his attitude to school work and consequently
revealed his very witty, fun personality. It was a real pleasure to see this side of
him.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
12
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Break the Cycle By Making it Easy for Parents
Parents often account for their own lack of contact with school by admitting they
find the school – or teachers – not very approachable. Either they don‟t feel
comfortable making contact, or have found it hard to get in touch with the right
member of staff. To address this we have to make it easy for them to get in
touch, or call in and get them used to being in contact.
‘Make it easy’ method #1: Make yourself approachable
If parents are apprehensive about getting in contact with you, you need to
ameliorate the process by making them feel welcome. This doesn‟t happen
overnight but keeping in regular contact and being perceived as friendly and
approachable usually go hand in hand – as long as you are focusing on and
mentioning positive news in the majority of your communications. In families
with innate hostility towards school this is incredibly important. These parents
need to made to feel that their opinions are valued and that their presence in
school is highly appreciated. The simple way to do this is to make sure you are
friendly when you speak with them. All your communications need to convey
that you are all there to help each other – not lecture them, talk down to them
or use them as a sounding board for your complaints.
Another way to make parents feel welcome in school is to ask them for help and
assistance. One of the biggest compliments you can give anyone is to
acknowledge an area of expertise or skill that they have and this can be a very
rapid way of getting a previously negative parent on side. People love to help
others – it is hard wired into our personalities – and if we are given chance to
display our strengths in the process, so much the better.
Top 10 Ways to Involve Parents in the Classroom
1. Ask them to tutor students in a specific area.
2. Ask them to read to students.
3. Invite them in as a guest speaker.
4. Invite them to model real-life applications of concepts learned in a lesson.
5. Ask them to help monitor learning centres or lab stations.
6. Ask them to help out with school-wide or community events/projects.
7. Ask for their help with site improvements/changes (great for dads with
practical skills).
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
13
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
8. Ask them to chaperone a field trip.
9. Ask them to bring in needed supplies for a special project.
10.Ask them to help with ideas to get other parents involved.
‘Make it easy’ method #2: Give parents multiple ways to keep in touch with you
Most of the methods presented above in „ways to keep in touch with parents‟
have the benefit of offering easy opportunities for parents to keep in touch too,
but the three most common methods are:
1. Telephone
2. Text messaging
3. Written notes
Telephone numbers are easy to lose so methods 1 & 2 cannot be completely
relied upon - if a parent doesn‟t have these numbers handy, they can‟t get in
touch. Similarly, hand written notes rely on a messenger - probably their child.
Entrusting a child with a note can be optimistic at best and it would probably be
simpler to get on a bus and leave it there yourself.
To make sure that parents can easily contact you they need to have your contact
details to hand at all times. There are, of course, in this time of social
networking, a HUGE range of ways we can keep in touch with each other – from
Facebook and Twitter to simple text messaging but I feel offering too many
methods can only cause problems – if nothing else it presents you with the
headache of having too many sources to check. I would advise sticking to two or
three modes of communication – text, telephone and email – and then making
sure that your parents are fully aware of these contact details. The following
steps can help make sure this happens.
1. Set up your own blog and list your email and mobile/text number on it.
2. On all your correspondence with home, make sure you list contact details and
encourage parents to either print them off or store them in their own mobiles or
other storage devices.
3. Send or give parents a business card once a term with your contact details.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
14
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Break the Cycle by Giving Parents Specific
Reasons to Come in or Make Contact With School
Making your curriculum exciting and engaging so that your students go home
talking about it will make parents aware of what is going on in your classroom
and will begin to capture their interest. We can capitalise on this by giving them
a specific reason to come into school – perhaps to view (or even help out with) a
particular piece of work or performance.
Here are a few examples:
The child has been selected for a school-wide competition. Share your
pride with the family and invite them along to watch the competition.
Your class is holding an assembly and their child is part of it. Explain
what the child is doing and invite them along to watch.
As part of a reading rotation, a group of children were practising a play.
They are going to perform it at a certain time. Invite the parents along
letting them know it will only last for 15 minutes (or whatever time).
You recorded a video of some of your pupils doing an activity together and
put it on the blog. Invite them to school to watch it and tell them you‟ll
call back to ask what they thought of it.
All these personal invites show parents you are interested and care about their
children and are thinking about the family as a whole. Involving the family in
these events will hopefully have a knock on effect to other areas and they will
begin to attend meetings more regularly or be more likely to support learning at
home.
Mini-workshops
These can be fantastic to boost parent confidence in terms of how they can help
their child at home and it will be something that will support and reinforce the
learning you are doing within the classroom.
In order for the workshop to be successful, parents need to know that you‟re not
patronizing or treating them like idiots. I regularly tell my parents that things
aren‟t how they were when they were at school – because it‟s true, and helps
them accept the teaching methods they will witness being practised. Strategies
in contemporary maths, for instance, may well bamboozle them if they are
unprepared. I found that out myself when teacher-training, that (then) modern
strategies caught me off-guard until they were explained. If parents see that
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
15
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
you also had the same feelings of uncertainty and confusion that they probably
experience when their children are bringing home homework for example, it will
make them feel much more at ease and willing to talk to you and share their
concerns.
Targeting these workshops to a particular need or target group of kids can help
to keep it focused and keep the time factor down. Parents don‟t want to sit
through hours of boring explanations but will probably be quite willing to come
to a 15 minute after school session that involves learning some educational
games they can play with their kids at home.
There follows a sample letter I sent out to parents inviting them along to a
workshop like that described above. Also included is a sheet outlining all the
activities we learnt as part of the session so parents could take this home. This
particular example is aimed at a younger audience but could easily be adapted
to suit older children.
Show day
Following a unit of work, invite parents, extended family and friends to school for
some kind of „show day‟. This can be the culmination of their hard work in the
form of a presentation and celebration of their achievements. It will provide a
great motivator for your children in terms of purpose for learning so the finished
products are likely to be of a higher standard than they may have been
otherwise. The show day will provide a platform for discussion at home both in
the lead up to the event and then afterwards as parents discuss with their
children how they achieved certain aspects of the project.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
16
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Break the Cycle by Encouraging Students to Talk
About School at Home
If we are going to improve links between school and home we can help achieve
this aim by making school more of a focus at home. One way of doing this is
encouraging students to take school into the home by talking about it.
Encouragement method #1. Give them something to talk
about
Teachers not only need to be explicit in their learning objectives so that students
know what they are learning and why they are learning it, but also need to
ensure that students are (as far as is possible) excited and interested in the
subject matter. They must also address students‟ perceptions of how the subject
is being taught to them. Teachers who claim their students are not interested in
their topic should look to their delivery of the subject in order to increase
enjoyment of the lesson. A student may well not be interested in science and
may leave the classroom feeling uninspired if all he was required to do was fill in
work sheets for a dull hour. But ask the same student to make a film about
science, or develop and build a science board game, or design a death ray
suitable for world domination, and they might be eager to talk about it.
Children are naturally curious and this curiosity is often diminished through the
delivery of mundane worksheets, textbook activities or lecture-based teaching
which tells students how things are rather than letting their own curiosity lead
them to find their own answers. When you‟ve finished delivering your lesson,
ask yourself honestly, if you were sitting through that, would you have left
wanting to talk about it in a positive way or would you have been one of the
children day-dreaming throughout?
When I talk about making a lesson fun or memorable, I‟m not suggesting you let
your students have free rein and do whatever they please, nor do I want you to
turn your lessons into a circus with yourself as chief clown. But being reduced to
the role of spectator soon gets boring for young people – regardless of how good
or funny the entertainer is. In order to have a positive lesson experience
students have to be actively involved.
There are plenty of ways to turn most lesson material into something exciting,
interesting and worthy of a tea-time discussion at home, you just have to think
creatively. If you need help with this area, we have a membership suite called
Lesson-Ology which provides all the resources and ideas you‟ll ever need to hook
students and get them taking part – no matter what area of the curriculum
you‟re dealing with.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
17
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Encouragement method #2. Use your Blog
The blog is a fantastic platform for encouraging home/school discussions. Used
creatively it can give parents an insight into what has been done at school and
they can use the interactive features of the blog to ask questions about this.
The comment functionality on blogs also allows parents to leave a comment on
their own child‟s (or another child‟s) learning, who can then reply, hence
promoting healthy discussion.
Teaching your children how to comment effectively on posts by creating shared
guidelines and then looking at other classroom blogs or individual children‟s
blogs from around the world, will give your students the skills they need. The
children could then invite their parents to a family „blogging‟ afternoon hosted by
your children where you all get together in the school computer suite (or
classroom if you have a mobile set of laptops) and the kids can teach their
parents how to leave effective comments about people‟s work. Not only will this
help you to promote home/school partnerships but it will empower parents both
in terms of the types of things they can say/comment on and allow them to
realise that their children do have plenty to talk about when it comes to their
learning.
Encouragement method #3. Home/School Discussion Clouds These are a great formative assessment learning tool in their own right but can
also be used to help parents when talking about school – particularly with
younger students. The question cards below can be used as a plenary activity to
help students reflect on their learning and get them used to having these
discussions in a supportive environment (particularly when you first start using
them) or they can be given to parents. They could also be used as a weekly
reflection in a home/school partnership book. Children might spend thirty
minutes, at the end of each week for example, reflecting on their learning using
the questions and writing down their ideas. When they take this home at the
end of each week, it can provide a talking point for use there. The important
thing to remember with this resource is that children must feel comfortable
using them in school to the point that that the discussion becomes natural rather
than forced.
Helping to promote discussions about school at home
Sometimes it can be hard to talk to your children about what they‟ve been
learning at school. These clouds are designed to support this conversation at
home by asking more direct questions. We also use them at school so your child
will be accustomed to talking about their learning in this way.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
18
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
What questions do you still
have?
How will you use what you learned
in future?
What did you find most
interesting?
What will you definitely
remember?
What did you learn about in … today/this week?
What did you enjoy most?
What did you
find hard?
How did you overcome your
problems?
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
19
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Documenting Parental Contact
It is sensible for teachers to keep a record of as much as possible even though it
means yet more paperwork. However, by having a simple form in your teacher
binder you can very quickly log any useful communication with parents: ie,
which provides you with useful evidence showing that you have enlisted parental
support and regularly kept them informed of their child‟s progress and/or
notified them of problems.
If you‟re anything like me, you probably find paperwork an extremely annoying
chore so make it as easy as possible by adding the following two pro-formas to
your teacher binder:
Positive Parent Log. A simple way of keeping track of all the positive
communications you have with home.
Parent Contact Log. A summary prompt sheet for recording the main points
following a meeting or contact with parents about a problem or pupil concern.
Both pro-formas can be found in Appendix 2.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
20
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Successful home visits
There are several reasons why you might want to organise a home visit:
It is often done for children who will be starting their first year of school.
You might like to meet the families of children (of any age) before you
start teaching them. This can be of particular benefit if the teacher is new
to the school.
The child may have an area of concern that needs to be discussed and this
cannot be done (for whatever reason) at school.
The child is unwell and cannot currently attend school.
Making contact for the home visit.
This may take the form of an initial letter sent to all parents, whom you would
like to involve in the home visits, outlining what the visits are about, and stating
that you will be in contact by way of a phone call to organise a specific time.
The phone call may go something along the lines of…
„Hi Mrs Smith. My name is … and I will be Danielle‟s new teacher when she
starts school in September, and I was hoping that we could arrange a time to
meet before she starts school. This will give Danielle an opportunity to meet me
and so she will hopefully feel less nervous on her first day. It will also allow me
to get to know you which I feel is vitally important as you play such a crucial role
in Danielle‟s education. We can talk about some of Danielle‟s interests as well as
what to expect when she starts school and any other information you feel would
be good for myself and the school to know. Visits usually take place in the
family home but we are always willing to make arrangements to meet
somewhere of your choosing if you would prefer. PS, I like coffee.‟
Once a date and time has been set, set yourself a reminder to confirm with the
family that you will be coming a day or two before. This could be by letter,
phone call, email or text.
On the day:
Turn up on time, organised and well presented.
Remember not to overload the parents/child with information but give
them specifics about important things they need to know prior to the start
of school.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
21
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Offer both the child and parents plenty of opportunities to ask questions
or share any concerns.
Although a record sheet been provided try not to make it seem like an
interrogation in which you fire questions at the family one after another.
Aim instead, to engage in a more natural conversation with the child and
family drawing out the answers you are interested in by steering the
conversation in certain ways. For example, you might see the child
holding/playing with a particular toy, which might stimulate the discussion
about their interests and dislikes without asking the question directly. Or,
if you see a photograph of the family, ask the child to tell you about their
brothers/sisters etc. Obviously how this conversation goes will depend
very much on the age of the child and the response you get from the
family/child. You might follow certain things up with something from your
own life so the family sees you as having a normal life beyond teaching.
Yes – human!
Discuss ideas about what the child is most looking forward to and why and
perhaps what they are most apprehensive about so you can put their
mind at ease.
A big must is just to try and be as relaxed as possible while maintaining
your professionalism and try to put the family at ease so they feel
comfortable talking to you.
When you leave thank them for their time and hospitality, remind them
about how they can contact you if there is any further information they
would like. A final comment directed at the child, about looking forward
to their forthcoming start at school will also be a nice way to finish off the
conversation.
And don‟t eat all their chocolate biscuits.
A summary of things to remember:
Some people may feel intimidated by you coming into their home. They
may expect you to be judging them. It is your job to make them feel at
ease and to offer them an alternative visit location if they would feel more
comfortable.
Give plenty of prior warning about your intended visit and a reminder a
day or two before the actual date. People can forget.
As always, turn up on time and be prepared.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
22
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Real Life Case Study
I have had many experiences of „hard to reach‟ parents but this is one particular
case. In the first round of parent-teacher interviews, the family did not make an
appointment. I followed up the meetings with a brief phone call inviting them to
attend a meeting at an alternative time that might be more suitable to them. I
was greeted with a rather reluctant, frosty tone and a comment that was
interpreted as „I don‟t really see the point of this but if you insist, then I suppose
we must.‟
So, the appointment was made, the time came around and the parents didn‟t
show. This was repeated several times followed by the same number of no-
shows. The next time I contacted the family, it was for two reasons. The first
was to let them know that their child had appeared in a video on the class blog
and the discussion that took place on the video had attracted international
attention from other teachers and classes for its quality. The family seemed
amazed at this and although they didn‟t have home access to the internet, said
they would try and find a way to view it. The tone of the conversation had now
changed; the ice had been broken.
The second part of my phone call was related to a bake sale our class was
hosting and asking parents to bring along some baking for it. Amazingly, this
parent not only made a cake but delivered it personally to school – as you can
imagine this was a real turning point. At the second round of parent teacher
interviews, I did manage to meet with the family and they were not only
genuinely interested and excited by the work their child had been doing but
ended up being the most inquisitive parents and asked numerous questions
about school.
This really supported my belief about giving the parents a reason to come in and
also that persistence, when delivered appropriately, pays off. Two days after
this last interview they came to pick up their son as normal – but they came
early, and asked him to share with them something he had been working on.
There was now a real interest in the school and what their son was being taught
in it!
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
23
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Parent-Teacher Interviews with a difference
At the beginning of the year, perhaps after the children have had a couple of
weeks to settle in, it can be a refreshing idea to have a parent/teacher interview
- not in the traditional sense of sharing information about a pupils learning but
instead to gain an insight into the child‟s interests, passions, hobbies, likes and
dislikes.
A meeting like this has several benefits:
Parents generally like to talk about their children, this gives them that
opportunity.
Having a time that is just about you (as the teacher) learning about the
child shows both the child and parents that you are interested in the
whole person rather than just the academic side.
You will leave armed with valuable information that you can use
throughout the year to engage and motivate your pupils.
This first formal conversation you have with the parents is likely to be a
positive one due to the intended focus and will hopefully provide a good
starting relationship if any issues arise throughout the year.
The table below could be used to help direct the conversation and serve as a
record for the discussion. Do try not to make it too much like a formal Q&A
interview and more like a natural conversation. This will help both parties feel at
ease and you won‟t seem as though you are there out of obligation, rather a
genuine desire to learn more about your pupils.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
24
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Parent/Teacher Interview Information
Name:
Family:
Friends (social relationships):
Likes/Dislikes:
General Hobbies/Interests:
Specific Hobbies/Interests (e.g. sporting, musical, scientific etc.)
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
25
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Real Life Case Study
This involved a child who had not been inside a classroom for approximately two
years, who hated school, was violent, destructive and whose mum openly
admitted to being at her wits‟ end with him. When he eventually did start taking
work home with him, they both got frustrated as mum, poorly educated herself,
found understanding the work too hard to be able to offer help.
After a lot of combined support from several members of the school and lots of
reaching out to mum, we eventually got the boy into the classroom although not
much learning happened at first. Gradually, with continual efforts from both
home and school raising the expectations and standing firm on what we believed
in, we began to see results. I personally invested my time tutoring this
individual on a 1:1 basis outside of school time in an attempt to re-engage him
in classroom related activities without the fear of what his peers would think of
him. This strengthened my relationship with his mum who could see that
someone genuinely cared about her son and their situation and hadn‟t just
dismissed him as hopeless.
The boy did end up being fully reintegrated back into school and is now
successful in secondary school too. He would often go home and share his
learning with his mum being positively engaged with what we were doing. This
new-found attitude reduced the stresses at home and strengthened the family
relationship. Mum even went back to college herself to do several adult learning
courses - an incredibly brave thing to do and which made the son very proud.
This would have also served to reinforce the importance of education.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
26
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Running successful meetings
Below I will discuss three types of meetings:
Parent/Teacher interviews (in the traditional sense of telling parents how
their children are getting on at school).
Student-Led Conferences.
Parent/Teacher meetings to discuss a concern (behavioural or learning).
Regardless of what it is you have called the meeting about, you need to be
prepared. This is really important to maintain your professionalism.
Meeting type #1: Parent/Teacher Interviews
This is probably the most common type of parent/teacher formal interaction but
sadly, probably hold a lot less benefit for the child than they could do. They are
often attended by parents and not children and therefore, depending on how you
run them and how proactive your parents are, a lot of the comments will
probably never reach the child! They do hold the benefit of getting to meet the
parents and allowing the parents to gain an understanding of how their child is
achieving at school.
Here are some golden rules for these meetings:
Make sure the classroom is tidy and organised.
Make sure you are too!
Make sure all pupils‟ books are up to date and marked thoughtfully.
Have the books for each child ready outside the classroom on a table so
parents can look at them before/after the meeting at their leisure.
Parents can then bring them into the room when they come in. You (or
even better, the child) may have put post-it notes in the book to highlight
their favourite pieces of work.
Make it personalised. Parents want to know that you know their child and
are not regurgitating the same old spiel for every child.
Avoid teacher jargon and speak in plain English. Jargon may confuse the
majority of parents but, more importantly, it will alienate those parents
who were unsure whether to come to the meeting in the first place. It
may make them feel embarrassed or ashamed that they do not
understand what you are talking about. By using teacher language, you
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
27
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
will only be increasing the status gap perception which may not actually
exist, but which for some feels very real.
The following format can be useful when discussing each subject area:
What have you been learning?
What are the child‟s strengths at the moment?
What are the child‟s next learning steps?
Suggestions for ways parents can help at home.
I often make notes on the points I want to cover for each child. This can be very
beneficial particularly if you have lots of children and back to back meetings. If
you want to be super-organised, you could even put the suggestions for things
at home on a separate piece of paper and let the parents take it with them.
Meeting type #2: Student-Led Conferences
These serve the same purpose as parent/teacher interviews but are much more
effective. They switch the focus from the teacher, the „all knowing one‟, to the
student - the owner and director of their own learning.
For those unfamiliar with student-led conferences, they typically involve the
student presenting their learning to their parents in the form of what they‟ve
been learning, what they are good at, what they need to improve on, and how
they are going to effect those improvements. Parents are encouraged to ask
questions - the teacher is present as a „guide on the side‟ to support the student
when necessary or to answer any questions or concerns.
Students do need to be taught the skills to carry out this meeting and it is a
good reflection of your teaching as to whether or not they are able to verbalise
these key aspects about their learning. It is helpful if student-led conferences
are used as a whole school approach so children build up the skills and
experience of taking ownership of their learning in this way. It can be quite
surprising how many children suddenly „clam up‟ in front of their parents the first
time they have to discuss their learning like this… but at the same time, it‟s
wonderful to see their confidence grow the more you do it.
A word of warning. Parents do need to be well informed about the purpose,
nature and benefits of student-led conferences because if they are introduced
without explanation, it may appear that the teacher (you) has decided to take a
back seat but for the wrong reasons – ie, to get the student to do all the work.
You must keep them in the picture!
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
28
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
A bookmark style resource can be given to students to support them with the
structure of the conference and be used as a prompt if they forget what they are
supposed to do. This is particularly useful for younger students or students who
are leading a student-led conference for the first time.
A similar resource can be offered to parents for suggestions of questions they
might ask their children. This might help particularly early on when parents are
not used to the system. The question: „Is there something you want to ask me?‟
can often throw parents and make them feel awkward; this resource will give
them a helping hand but of course they are free to ask their own questions.
A final pointer: Don‟t expect your students to be able to launch confidently into
these conferences from the word go. They will need modelling, support and lots
of practice as they would with anything new. It is imperative that they get
plenty of this before the „big day‟ so that they feel enthusiastic and empowered
by the experience rather than overwhelmed and daunted.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
29
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Student Card
Introduce your family
to your teacher.
“I‟m going to share
some of my learning
from term „x‟ with
you.”
Explain what you did.
Explain what you
were learning.
Explain what you are
good at.
Explain what you
want to get better at.
“Is there anything
you want to ask me?”
“My hardest moment
has been.…”
“My proudest
moment has been….”
Thank your parent/s
Parent Card
Questions you might
want to ask your
child:
- Are you getting
better at „x‟? How
do you know?
- If you did this
again, what would
you do differently?
- What have you
most enjoyed
about this term?
- Did you get any
help with this piece
of work?
- What do you do if
it‟s tricky?
- What‟s your next
learning goal?
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
30
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Meeting type #3: Parent/Teacher meetings to discuss a concern (behavioural or learning)
If the issue is behaviour related, you need to make sure you have accurate
documentation of the facts - including previous exploration into possible triggers
for the behaviour, and the involvement of others. Take care however not to
mention names of other children to parents/caregivers as this would compromise
their privacy.
The approach you take to the meeting is crucial to the outcome and hence to the
future involvement of that parent and child. It is important that they do not feel
it is a personal attack on them and that they know you have considered all sides
of the situation. It is important that the parent and child both see that you are
there to help rather than to judge or criticise. Ask for their suggestions and
involvement with things that you could try to help the situation. Once a plan is
agreed upon by all parties, suggest a time frame for the implementation and
subsequent review and next steps. This ensures that the situation can be
closely monitored and any developments tracked.
If the issue is learning related, for example you are concerned that a child is
underachieving, proceed with some delicacy. You neither want to make the child
feel stupid nor make the parent feel blame. At the same time, if this is the first
time the parent has heard that their child is underachieving, you need to
consider why that is. The parent‟s first instinct might be that it is your fault as
this is the first they have heard about it. While ensuring the parent realises you
are a competent teacher and it is not your fault, you also need to maintain the
integrity of your colleagues who may not have picked up on any issues before,
or who may have dealt with it but perhaps not notified the parents.
Again, preparation is key and the following are suggested:
Have evidence of what the child‟s current achievement is and how this relates to
age related expectations. It is useful in this instance to comment that we are all
individuals and as such all progress at different rates.
Have evidence of any progress that the child has made as they are quite likely to
have made progress, it just might not be in line with „national expectations‟!
(Note: There are mixed views on informing parents of age related achievement
but it is my belief that they have a right to know. If they are in the know, they
can do more to help. If they remain misinformed then opportunities for support
may be missed particularly as evidence suggests that parental involvement in
learning can have very positive effects on student achievement.)
Show what the school has done in the past to support this child.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
31
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Discuss the plan for the student‟s needs and what needs to be put in place
to support them further.
Discuss/show ways that the family can support the child at home.
In all these meetings keep in mind that at the end of the day, most parents just
want the best for their child. So, depending on your approach, most meetings
should be successful in supporting the child to move closer to whatever goal it is
they need to achieve.
Before the meeting
From the outset we have to create a positive atmosphere in which objectives are
clear to everyone involved.
Make sure there is a clearly defined purpose for the meeting and that both
teacher and parent (everyone involved) are aware of this purpose.
Have samples/proof/evidence of whatever is being discussed, so if for
example the pupil‟s lack of effort in class that is being discussed, have
samples of the pupil‟s work on hand, get proof of their performance in
other lessons and have copies of recent reports.
Prepare the meeting room - provide pens and paper so that both parties
can take notes. Arrange comfortable seating.
Prepare yourself - think of likely questions you will be asked and prepare
answers, and remind yourself to stay calm!
Meet the parents at the school entrance so that they don‟t feel
uncomfortable waiting around.
Thank them for their support and attendance.
At the start of the meeting
Speak plainly and honestly at their own level – the idea is to try and
create some sort of rapport with them and keep them at ease. Don‟t try to
talk down to them as if they are children themselves.
Start the meeting positively by finding positive things to say about their
child, his potential, performance in sport, ability to mix with others, recent
successes in other areas of the curriculum.
Convey the message that you share a common aim with the parents – the
welfare and success of their child - not that you just think the child should
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
32
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
be punished or that you expect the parents to tell you what should be
done.
Getting down to business - dealing with the topic of the meeting
Describe the exact problem. Explain specifically what the pupil did or
exactly how they‟ve been behaving/working and back your observations
up with evidence in the form of teacher reports, incident forms,
statements, works samples, quotes from your behaviour diary or teacher
binder.
Ask for the parents’ view. When it is the parents‟ turn to speak, allow
them to do so, and listen attentively. Show understanding through active
listening. Always give parents an opportunity to give their side of the
story.
Ask the parents for help in light of the steps you’ve taken – are
there any aspects that can be followed up at home?
Decide on action that both you and the parents can take from now
on to solve the problem. Explain to the parents exactly what you plan
to do in school and how they can help at home.
Summarise the meeting. Clarify the main points and document the
proposed actions. (Use the „Parent Contact Log‟ pro-forma.)
Arrange a follow-up contact. Show the parents that you are committed
to helping their child by continuing to try and solve the problem. Arrange
a date for a follow up call home to inform of progress and reaffirm that
the parents can call you any time with queries or concerns.
Finish on a positive note. Always thank parents for taking the time to
come and see you or for telephoning you with their concerns. Assure them
that their support is greatly appreciated and makes the process of helping
their child much easier. Remember, we are trying to increase the contact
we have with parents and make ourselves more approachable. We are
unlikely to do so if we are rude to them or make them feel unwelcome.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
33
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
How to Avoid and Manage Confrontations With
Difficult Parents
When you‟re confronted by a particularly irate or aggressive parent try to
remember that it is unlikely that their anger or hostility is directed at you. It is
more likely to have something to do with their own experiences of school, their
personal backgrounds and how they may have been brought up to deal with
issues, or even insecurities about themselves or a feeling that they are looked
down upon. Whatever the reason, it is important that we maintain our
professionalism and learn ways to cope with, and defuse, these situations.
It is of utmost importance that serious incidents that result in parent/teacher
meetings are accurately documented detailing what happened and the action
you took. If you knew about the incident but do not actually have a detailed
written account, the situation might be harder to resolve. Before you begin, your
position has been undermined.
So, let‟s say you are fully aware of a particular situation, have taken the correct
course of action, and are therefore able to produce a written incident report. The
following simple tips can be used as a basis to help successfully manage any
specific scenario involving confrontations with parents:
1. STAY CALM AND POLITE. A display of anger from you, no matter how irate
a parent is, will exacerbate the problem. Remain calm, no matter how difficult
that may be. Speak in a calm, measured tone of voice.
„Good morning Mr. Brown, I understand your concern. I would like to reassure
you that the school takes incidences like this very seriously and the matter was
dealt with appropriately. As you can see, the bell is about to go and I must
place the learning of the children in my class including your son/daughter as a
priority but would be more than happy to talk to you about the incident after
school today.‟ (Or a time convenient for both of you).
„Mrs Jones, I‟m sorry that you don‟t feel happy with this aspect of the classroom
programme at the moment. I would be more than happy to sit down with you
and discuss any concerns you have at a time convenient for us both. At the
moment, class is about to start (or I have a meeting to go to) so unfortunately I
can‟t discuss it right now. The soonest available time would be … Would that be
suitable for you?‟
2. LISTEN. Don't argue or interrupt, just listen. Don‟t just put your point across
– they have concerns and worries, they have an opinion, and usually just want
to be heard. Ignore their attempts to be heard by steamrollering over them with
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
34
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
yours, and you invite ill feeling. If you dismiss them and don‟t follow up with
their issue, the problem will only get worse. If you genuinely show that you are
interested in what they have to say and make a point of listening to them you
will find that they soon calm down.
3. REASSURE the parent that the matter has either been dealt with - or if you
did not know about it, that you will do everything you can to resolve the
situation as soon as possible.
4. ARRANGE A MEETING at a later time so the parent has had time to calm
down and you‟ve had time to think things through or resolve anything that
needs resolving. This also gives you time to prepare thoroughly by gathering
evidence/records and consulting other staff who can provide additional useful
information.
5. NEVER ARGUE. It‟s tempting to argue or even slam the phone down when
your attempts to placate an angry parent are met with a torrent of abuse. But all
you‟d be doing is handing over the control over your emotions to the angry
parent – just as you would to an irate pupil if you end up screaming at them. If
you argue with belligerent parents you reinforce any negative impressions they
already have about you, about school and about your colleagues. If they
become abusive, calmly say, „I'm sorry but I don't allow people to speak to me
this way. If we are going to sort this situation out you need to speak to me
properly. If you prefer, we can continue this another time when you have calmed
down.‟
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
35
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Appendix 1: Sample letters to parents
While it is obviously better if your letters to parents are personal and a reflection
of your own personality and style, we have provided a selection of letters as
starting points for a variety of uses and situations. The letters include:
Welcome letters (when starting in a new class)
A start of term newsletter
Polite reminders – eg, about punctuality, uniforms, belongings
Invitation to a mini-workshop
Letters about behaviour
Letters about positive achievements (behaviour or learning)
Each letter type has a few tips by it to support your writing and has been put
under specific subheadings. This provides an easy reference point when writing
that type of letter rather than reading the whole article all at once.
One general thing I would say is that in newsletters, which tend to be slightly
longer, try to include photographs of the children. A parent is much more likely
to read something with a picture of their child in it. This may be a whole class
photo or photos of individuals/groups from the class that represent the content
of the newsletter. (No photos have been included in the samples for privacy
reasons, and not because all the kids we know are monsters.)
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
36
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Welcome Letters
Dear
I want to welcome your child, [Name], to [grade/class]! I‟m excited about the
opportunity to get to know you too and I‟m looking forward to a happy and
productive school year.
This year we will focus on the following curriculum areas:
[text]
[text]
[text]
Please have your child bring the following items to school before [date]:
[text]
[text]
[text]
My homework policy is [homework policy].
My grading policy is [grading policy].
Upcoming school events you should be aware of include:
[Event] [Date]
[Event] [Date]
Please mark these dates on your calendar. I hope you will make it a priority this
year to attend as many school-sponsored events as possible.
We welcome visitors to our classroom, and we always appreciate parents
volunteering to help out. Some volunteer opportunities that will be available this
year are:
[Opportunity]
[Opportunity]
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
37
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Class Blog
In previous years, I have run a class blog that is very successful and the children
enjoyed it. I will be carrying this on again this year. At the moment, we will
just be using it to post general information about what we have been doing
altogether in class. However you will soon receive a letter giving a more detailed
explanation of the blog and what the class will be using it for. It is a great
opportunity for the children to widen their understanding of the world. It also
flattens our classroom walls giving you a better idea of what we‟ve been doing
and allows families who live in other parts of the country/world to see what their
cousins / grandchildren / nephews etc. are doing in school.
Please feel free to visit it here:
[blog address]
You can even leave a comment for the class!
Final comments
My door is always open and if anyone has any questions, concerns or just wants
a chat please feel free to drop by. If for whatever reason I am unavailable, I
would be more than happy to make a time that would be convenient for us both.
You can contact me at [phone number] or [e-mail address].
Let‟s work together to make this the best year ever!
Regards,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
38
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Dear
I would like to introduce myself as your child‟s new science teacher/class teacher
this year and to say how thrilled I am to have him/her in my class.
This year will be very exciting as we‟ll be covering modules on
__________________ which will include a wide range of practical activities and
field trips. It would help if you could ensure (name) has the following pieces of
school equipment: ______________________________________________.
Homework for this subject will be set every Monday and Wednesday and will
consist of assignments from their syllabus. Each assignment should take around
1 hour and should be handed in the following week.
In case you are not already aware, there is also a „Back to School‟ parent
meeting on ____________ which would be a wonderful opportunity to meet in
person and discuss any concerns you may have.
You can contact me at school on ______________ if you need my assistance.
I look forward to working with your child and hope we can work together to
ensure his success.
Sincerely,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
39
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Start of Term Newsletter:
Dear
Welcome back to school and welcome to Term 3! We‟ve had a great start to the
week and all the children seem refreshed and ready to learn again which is
great. This is another long one with lots to cover so as usual, please bear with
me until the end!
This term’s theme:
The school wide theme this term is „uncertainty‟ and we will be looking at it
through the idea of trying new things and challenging yourself: how you may be
uncertain to start with but as you practise and improve, things become less
uncertain and you begin to see great improvement. As part of this, we will be
looking at the Olympic Games and trying out new things related to different
countries represented in the competition; this might be music, dance, food,
language etc.
If you happen to be from a country in the games (most of them, I think) and
would like to be part of our theme, we would love to have you in to teach us a
dance, some music, language or whatever you have to offer.
Maths:
Our focus over the next few weeks will be „time‟, then we‟ll move on to „fractions
and ratios‟. There will also be a big emphasis on basic facts (see the homework
section) as this will be crucial to most children‟s next steps in addition and
subtraction.
With our work on „time‟, it would be great if you could start using time regularly
with your children so their learning is reinforced and made more meaningful.
Having a concept of time by discussing things such as how long it takes to:
brush their teeth, eat their breakfast, watch their favourite TV programme, get
their lazy bodies out of bed etc. will help support the children‟s understanding as
well.
Literacy:
This remains mostly the same as last term. Children will have either a book
from their browsing box (this will be at a lower level than their guided reading
book) or one that they have done as part of guided reading with me, but they
should be bringing home a book every night (some groups may bring home
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
40
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
chapter books or Junior Journals which may take several nights to read). This
will start from next week.
In writing this term, we are going to be finishing our animal reports, looking at
Maori myths and legends and other forms of narrative. We will continue with
children‟s regular recount writing about their weekends.
Your child may also bring home a book review book as part of our library work.
This is something they will have chosen to do rather than been asked to do.
Instructions for what to do are in the book and have been explained to all the
children.
Homework:
Homework will remain the same as last term. Children will be expected to read
their book every night and practise their spellings and basic facts every night.
I have modified the way I will be assessing the basic facts so I can do this more
efficiently and more regularly for all children. Children will complete a weekly
test and have been given a target of moving to the next set of basic facts within
two weeks (although this will vary slightly between children). Please support
your child in this by helping them practise for a few minutes every day. If you
want any games to support their learning at home, please come and see me and
I will arrange this. Remember there are also lots of games on the class blog if
you have internet access.
Spelling/basic facts books will stay with me on Friday and be returned to the
children on Monday.
Parent Help:
I‟m always after parent help for various things and am always overwhelmed with
the responses I get - so thank you! Here are a few things you might be
interested in:
I am hoping to run a mini technology project involving sewing to create a
mini-rugby figure (this depends on the cost of materials and parent help).
I will only be able to do this if I have 4 or 5 parent helpers. You can
imagine how hard it would be with twenty 6-7 year olds threading needles
and tying knots! I will run it as two full days to help it run more
smoothly. If you‟re interested, please let me know.
Parent help during swimming.
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
41
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
A skill you are willing to teach us (related to an Olympic country) as part
of our „uncertainty‟ theme.
The Postcard Project: There are now 89 classes, from 10 countries in 5 of
the 6 continents (Antarctica hasn‟t signed up yet!) who have joined our
exciting Postcard Project. If you can offer support in terms of donations
towards stamps (which cost £x.xx each) or actual international stamps,
this would be appreciated.
The Blog:
Our blog is receiving a lot of national and international attention thanks to the
high quality work that I am able to put on it from the children – great job kids!
The Postcard Project was even mentioned at a recent global professional
development conference for teachers.
You can be part of it by visiting, leaving comments and encouraging family and
friends to visit and comment too. There are instructions on how to comment on
the blog under the section „Leaving Us A Comment‟. It‟s been great reading lots
of positive feedback from families who are regulars on the blog. If you don‟t
have internet access but would like to have a look, let me know and I‟ll arrange
a time for you and your child to use a computer at school.
I think that‟s all! As always, my door is open for questions, comments, concerns.
I‟m normally available straight away but if I‟m not, we can make a time that
suits us both.
Regards,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
42
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Reminders about punctuality, uniform, belongings:
Dear
We are already over half way through the term, I can‟t believe how fast it is
going!
Changes to Reading:
As the books that some of the children are reading are becoming longer and
more complex, we will be spending more time reading them and exploring the
ideas. As a result, we will often use the same book over one week. So that
children are still getting enough reading practice at home, the children will now
be selecting books for home that we have not necessarily read in class during
the week but should be of such a level that the children can read them
independently. This will most likely be a book they have read at some point in
the past. So, you should expect your child to bring a different book home every
night. The previous day‟s book should be returned to school each day so
someone else can read it.
Spelling and basic facts books will continue as normal, these should be coming
home every night (except for the weekend). It‟s been great to see children
taking ownership of these and coming to tell me that they are ready to be tested
on their basic facts.
Class Blog and Project Blog:
Two parents have kindly offered to help us with our class blog so thank you for
your support. If anyone else would like to help, I still have one slot available for
parent help. If you have access to the internet, please check up on our blog and
see what we‟ve been doing. It would be great if parents started leaving
comments for us.
If you haven‟t yet brought back the signed permission slip for your child, please
do so as soon as possible.
We also have a blog for our project on South East Asia. Information about what
we are doing is starting to go up so take a look:
http://connectingchildren.edublogs.org
Friendly reminders: School start, Uniform, Book Bags:
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
43
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
School starts at 8.55am. There have been an increasing number of children
arriving several minutes after this time. Although 1 or 2 minutes may not seem
like much, when children arrive after the bell has gone, it becomes quite
distracting for those already in the classroom if other children are busy putting
away their things and getting ready for the day. If children arrive well before
8.55 it is also a good social time for the children to spend with their peers.
A few interesting variations on the uniform are sneaking in and although they‟re
colourful, the school does have a uniform policy. Let‟s keep our children looking
smart!
Thanks to all those children who remember their book bag on a daily basis. We
use the items in this everyday for our learning so if children come to school
without it they are missing valuable learning opportunities. Please support your
child and the school by helping them with ways to remember their things each
day.
Regards,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
44
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Invitation to a mini-workshop
Dear
I would like to invite you to a short meeting on _________________ at
_________ am/pm to discuss some ideas for activities and games that might
help support your child with their maths learning at home. This will be a group
meeting with a maximum of 3 parents and their children. At the end, I will give
you a small resource pack, which you can add to as well, for use with your child
at home.
It would be great if you and your child could join me.
Regards,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
45
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Letters about behaviour
Make them short and to the point but give precise details of what has
happened and will be happening.
Ideally make some form of personal contact like a telephone call before
you send a letter. The procedure can seem impersonal otherwise, and
you could be less likely to end up with a supportive parent.
Depending on the incident, the letter may come from senior management
instead of you. If it does come from you then have it checked and
approved by senior management so they are fully aware of the situation.
Ensure that the letter seems proactive in terms of the support the school
wants to offer to try to resolve the situation and prevent similar future
incidences.
Dear
Following our telephone conversation on _________________ this letter gives a
written account of our discussion.
On _______________ Jonathan was involved in a serious incident that involved
a physical attack on another child. Jonathan was called a name by another boy
and reacted by punching the boy in the mouth. The school takes this type of
incident very seriously and we would like to work together with Jonathan, the
school and your family to provide support to him to help him find more
acceptable ways of solving his problems. The school considers Jonathan‟s
actions unacceptable but also understands that they were a result of someone
else‟s actions too. We can assure you we are dealing with all areas of this
incident.
We would like to invite Jonathan and yourself to a meeting on
___________________ at ___________ am/pm as discussed in our telephone
conversation. If for whatever reason this time becomes unsuitable please advise
the school as soon as possible so a new meeting can be arranged.
We thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
46
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Dear
I am writing to inform you that [Child Name] is having some behavioral
problems. I would greatly appreciate your cooperation in working with me
to resolve these issues.
In order to keep the class productive and calm, it is essential that each
child in my classroom avoid certain behaviours. I‟ve marked the problem
areas for your child below. [Child Name] must improve in these areas to
develop his/her full potential.
[__] Excessive talking
[__] Lack of effort
[__] Lack of attention
[__] Disrespect to others
[__] Incomplete or late assignments
[__] Missing assignments
[__] Poor test scores
[__] Excessive detentions
I would like to meet with you as soon as possible to discuss these
problems and how we can help [Child Name] resolve them.
Sincerely,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
47
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Letters about positive achievements (behaviour or learning)
Try to avoid using plain paper for these. They could instead be on a
school achievement template or a postcard, or even in the style of a
postcard with a picture of the child doing whatever the letter/postcard is
related to. This could then be laminated.
Be specific about why you are sending the letter/postcard.
Send these out irregularly and don‟t tell kids you‟ve sent them – this will
add to the surprise factor.
Dear
I am delighted to tell you that Molly has been making some outstanding choices
recently and really thinking about the goals we discussed together. Molly is
finding it much easier to think about what she is going to do before she does it
and is choosing to talk about her problems with adults or her peers rather than
resorting to physical actions as before.
Both the school and I wanted to share these successes with you. We know Molly
is very proud of her achievements and we are sure you will be too.
Regards,
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
48
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Appendix 2: Documenting Parental Contact
Parent Contact Log
Student_________________________________________________________
Parent/Guarian___________________________________________________
Date of call or meeting_____________________________________________
Type of contact___________________________________________________
Person initiating the contact________________________________________
Statement of problem______________________________________________
Steps taken so far:
[text]
[text]
[text]
[text]
[text]
Parent Comments/suggestions:
[text]
[text]
[text]
[text]
[text]
Action to be taken by teacher/school:
[text]
[text]
[text]
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
49
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
[text]
Action required by Parent/Guardian:
[text]
[text]
[text]
[text]
[text]
Follow up: ______________________________________________________
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
50
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Positive Parent Log
Class______________________________
Term________________________
N=Note TC=Telephone call M=Meeting
Student Wk1 Wk2 Wk3 Wk4 Wk5 Wk6 Wk7
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
51
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
Appendix 3: Home Visit Information Sheet
Name:
Family:
Friends (social relationships):
Likes/Dislikes:
General Hobbies/Interests:
Specific Hobbies/Interests (sporting, musical, scientific etc.)
Subject interest areas (if any):
...........................................................................
...........................................................................
........................................................................... http://www.behaviourneeds.com
52
Get the Parents on Board The Step by Step Method to Help Teachers Connect
with Hard to Reach Parents
Coping Strategies for Teachers Practical Help in Times of Stress
References:
Fan, X. and Chen, M. (2001) Parental involvement and students‟ academic
achievement: A meta-analysis. Educational Psychology Review. 13, 1–22.
Feinstein, L. and Symons, J. (1999). Attainment in secondary school. Oxford
Economic Papers. 51, 300-321.
Harris, A., & Goodall, J. (2007). Engaging parents in raising achievement: do
parents know they matter? (Online:
http://www.educationbraintrust.com/news/engaging_parents.htm)
Henderson, A. T. and Mapp, K. L. (2002) A new wave of evidence: The impact of
school, family, and community connections on student achievement. Annual
Synthesis 2002. Austin, TX: Southwest Educational Development Laboratory,
National Center for Family & Community Connections with Schools.
(Online: www.sedl.org/connections/resources/evidence.pdf)
Marcon, R. A. (1999) Positive relationships between parent school involvement
and public inner-city preschoolers‟ development and academic performance.
School Psychology Review. 28, 395– 412.
Reynolds, A. J. (1991) Early schooling of children at risk. American Educational
Research Journal. 28, 392– 422.
Vickers, H.S. and Minke, K.M. (1995) Exploring parent-teacher relationships:
Joining and communication to others. School Psychology Quarterly. 10, 133-
150