speaking for yourself

7/30/2019 Speaking for yourself

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SPEAKING FOR YOURSELF

Good commincation are needed for everybody, many

students entering higher education are unable to express

their

thoughts clearly and effectly in their own language, after

more than

twelve years at school.Good communication skills are

needed in

everyday life, in study at colledge or university, and such

studies

are based on any career. People need to improve their

writing and they

need to develop their ability to converse, to discuss, to

argue

persuasively, and to speak in public. Many students

applying for

employment still have poor communication skills,

employers complain

that after a further three years in colledge or university.


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All courses in further and higher education are intended to

facilitate

both learning and personal development. You must be

recognized that

many school leavers need to improve their communication

skills. You

will receive comments and advice on your written work to

help you to

improve your written, as a student, and you will have

opportunities to

discuss your work and to give short talks or persentations.

You will

be encouraged to develop your ability to express your

thoughts

effectively.

People must have the first impressions to be good. First

impressions

is very important. For example, if you have a good first

impression,

people may happy and you havent people may sad. That


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is why, our

first impression is that much important. Most people

probably take for

granted their ability to speak, not thinking much about it

until they

have to address an audience or attend an important

interview. But just

as your first impressions of other people are based on how

they look

and how they speak- os are their impressions of you. What

time you

speak, you are both conveying information relevant to the

subject

being discussed and presenting yourself,not just when

giving a talk or

being interviewed.

When you meet people for the first time their immediate

feelings about

you is based in your apperance and behaviour, so that is

very

important, you must take care for it. Because you have not


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second

opportunity to make a good first impression, and that

people are not

easily forgotten or revised.

Some skills needed in studying any subject and in any

carrer: There are:

1.Self management, 2.Money management, 3.Time

management,

4.Summarising, 5.Finding information, 6.Processing

information,

7.Problem solving, 8.Thinking and creativity,

9.Communicating.

1.Self management

Management is not just for managers, just as leadership is

not just

for leaders.

We all manage, and we all lead; these are not actions

reserved for

only those people who happen to hold these positions in

a company. I

personally think of management and leadership as


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callings, and we all

get these callings to manage and lead at different times,

and to

different degrees.

Considered another way, I believe we can all learn to be

more

self-governing through the disciplines of great

management and great

leadership; these are concepts that can give us wonderful

tenets to

live and work by.

For instance, these are what Ive come to think of as

Twelve Rules for

Self-Management. Show me a business where everyone

lives and works by

self-managing, and Ill bet its a business destined for

greatness.

1. Live by your values, whatever they are. You confuse

people when you

dont, because they cant predict how youll behave.

2. Speak up! No one can hear what youre thinking

without you be


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willing to stand up for it. Mind-reading is something most

people

cant do.

3. Honor your own good word, and keep the promises you

make. If not,

people eventually stop believing most of what you say,

and your words

will no longer work for you.

4. When you ask for more responsibility, expect to be held

fully

accountable. This is what seizing ownership of something

is all about;

its usually an all or nothing kind of thing, and so youve

got to

treat it that way.

5. Dont expect people to trust you if you arent willing to

be

trustworthy for them first and foremost. Trust is an

outcome of

fulfilled expectations.

6. Be more productive by creating good habits and

rejecting bad ones.


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Good habits corral your energies into a momentum-

building rhythm for

you; bad habits sap your energies and drain you.

7. Have a good work ethic, for it seems to be getting rare

today.

Curious, for those old-fashioned values like

dependability,

timeliness, professionalism and diligence are prized more

than ever

before. Be action-oriented. Seek to make things work. Be

willing to do

what it takes.

8. Be interesting. Read voraciously, and listen to learn,

then teach

and share everything you know. No one owes you their

attention; you

have to earn it and keep attracting it.

9. Be nice. Be courteous, polite and respectful. Be

considerate.

Manners still count for an awful lot in life, and thank

goodness they

do.


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10. Be self-disciplined. Thats what adults are supposed to

grow up to be.

11. Dont be a victim or a martyr. You always have a

choice, so dont

shy from it: Choose and choose without regret. Look

forward and be

enthusiastic.

12. Keep healthy and take care of yourself. Exercise your

mind, body

and spirit so you can be someone people count on, and so

you can live

expansively and with abundance.

Managers will tell you that they dont really need to

manage people

who live by these rules; instead, they can devote their

attentions to

managing the businesses in which they all thrive. Chances

are it will

also be a place where great leaders are found.

2.Money management

Make a personal budget. The first step in properly

managing money is


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making a budget that tracks how much money you earn

and spend each

month. This will help you keep track of where all your

money goes and

allow you to make decisions to lessen spending in certain

areas in

order to have extra money in more important areas.

Create financial goals and make your budget work with

your goals.

Almost everyone knows it is a good idea to save money,

but far fewer

are able to save when they have money sitting in their

pocket ready to

be spent. Creating some more long-term financial goals,

such as saving

for an emergency cash fund that can cover six month's

expenses, is a

great way to practice money-managing discipline while

working toward

something positive. By setting aside part of your budget

toward your


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goal, you can make a habit of saving or investing first, and

spending

second. Forming good habits is one of the most important

aspects of

good money management.

3.Time management

Each day has only 24 hours. This is something that you

have to accept

because it will not change. Time can not be changed, but

the way you

approach it can. This is the secret of effective time

management. You

must train yourself to focus on the things that really

matter to you

and spend your time on these things only. Everything else

should be

eliminated from your life.

Making the changes necessary to manage your time

effectively can be

rewarding and fun, but some of these changes will take a


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leap of faith

on your part. However, there is no need to rush, you can

make the

necessary changes at your own pace. If you bite off more

than you can

chew at the beginning there is a chance you may fail.

This is why you need a clear time plan for every day. You

need to have

a very clear idea of what needs to be done, how long it will

take, and

when it is going to be done. At the beginning it can be

difficult to

know how long each task will take so it may be a good

idea to keep a

time log for a week before starting to keep a time plan. In

your time

log you need to write down what you do every day and

how long it

takes. This will show you exactly how long different tasks

and

activities take. When you know how long each task will


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take, you can

plan your day much more accurately.

4.Summarising is inability to distinguish important points

from the

supporting detail, and to make good notes.

5.Finding information is not making good use of libraries

and other

sources of ideas and information.

6.Processing information is not bringing together relevant

information

and ideas form lectures, tutorials, seminars, practical

work,

background reading and other sources.

7.Problem solving is not thinking things to a satisfactory

conclusion.

8.Thinking and creativity is midless repetition of other

peoples

thoughts: unwillingness to consider new approaches or

different points

of view.

9.Communicating is not expressing thoughts clearly,


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concisely and

persuasively when speaking or in writing.

Between you and the people you meet, your appearance

and speech may

create barriers, or may help them to feel at ease in your

presence.

People make assumptions from your speech,which may or

may not be

correct, about your place of birth and social class, about

you

education, about your interests and opinions, and about

your

intelligence.When you speak, you know what you are

thinking and how

you feel about it; and other people make judgements

about your

character and assumptions about what you are

thinking.Eye Contact and

Facial Expressions, Position Posture Gestures are very very

important.


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How you speak

We also notice other characteristics of the way people

speak. We are

remarkably sensitive to the vocal characteristics of

speech, as

indicated by our ability to recognise the voices of many

people whom

we hear only in telephone conversations or on the radio. If

they are

considerate, in any serious conversation or discussion we

expect

brevity, clarity, sincerity and politeness. That is why,when

we

speaking on the telephone or listening to the radio, we

may from an

impression of a persons character- which may or may not

be correct.

In face-to-face conversations we are more confident in our

ability to

judge people from the way they speak. Control your


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thought or else it

will control you.

Be polite

Be polite but dont be weak. When meeting someone the

usual greeting

for the first time is to say How do you do, less formally,

Hello.

Then, to end this first conversation, if appropriate you

could say It

has been a pleasure to meet you. More important, you

should look as

if your meeting has been a pleasure. Someone whom you


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know well when

you meet you can greet How are you?. This greeting is

not an

invitation to recite your medical history or to provide an up

date on

your state of health. Being polite doesn't cost you a penny.

It's just

common sense; manner and making others feel

appreciated. If you're

lacking in manners, or struggling to be polite at all times,

this

guide is for you. You are most likely to persuade others, in

any

conversation, or to obtain their agreement, co-operation

and support,

if you are obviously interested and considerate:(a) If your

manner is

friendly; (b) if you address individuals by name; (c) if you

smile

when you meet; (d) if you consult them at least on

occasions when they

should be consulted; and (e) if you agree with them when


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you can. When

you speak on the phone special care is needed, unless it is

a video

call, because there is no non-verbal communication. So,

whatever you

say , always start your conversation with your name; and

use the name

of person who you are calling; and end, if appropriate, by

saying

Thank you for your help.

The etiquette include of their manners, fashions and how

to say and

so on. Etiquette is dependent on culture; what is excellent

etiquette

in one society may shock another. Etiquette evolves within

culture.

Etiquette can vary widely between different cultures and

nations. In

such rigid hierarchal cultures as Korea and Japan, alcohol

helps to

break down the strict social barrier between classes. It


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allows for a

hint of informality to creep in. It is traditional for host and

guest

to take turns filling each other's cups and encouraging

each other to

gulp it down. Etiquette, Which may be taught as a set of

rules, is a

guide to acceptable behavior in polite society-helping

those in Rome

to do as Romans do. Good manners in conversation, as in

any other

social interaction, are no more than common sense:

showing ones

respect, interest and pleasure or, at least, ensuring that

one does

not give offence. The Japanese are very formal. Moments

of silence are

far from awkward. Smiling doesnt always mean that the

individual is

expressing pleasure. Business cards are to be handed out

formally

following this procedure: Hand card with writing facing


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upwards; bow

when giving and receiving the card; grasp it with both

hands; read it

carefully; and put it in a prominent place. The Japanese

feel a Giri

an obligation to reciprocate a gesture of kindness. They

also rely on

an innate sense of right and wrong.

Today many of us worry about etiquette: we need to know

what to say

and how to behave in a particular situation. Our language

and our

manners must be appropriate to the situation. Nowadays

etiquette

doesn't include so many rigid rules, but is more about

"everyday

living." Its "goal is to help all people of all lifestyles get

along

with each other." It is more about "common sense and

consideration".

There are rules which have changed during the centuries,


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for example,

"how men and women interact" has changed considerably

since the

1950's. Each culture has its own system of etiquette and

they are

sometimes very different. Behavior that is proper in one

culture may

be improper in another. What is considered proper in a

city, could be

considered improper in a small town.

Charm cannot exist without good manners-meaning by

this, not so much

manners that precisely follow particular rules, as manners

that have

been made smooth and polished by the continuous

practice of kind

impulses. And certainly the greatest asset can have is

charm. Charm is

the art of having an attractive personality. This

characteristic can

be achieved only over a period of time. While everyone is


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born with

differing amounts of natural charm, much can be acquired

and honed

through practice and patience. As with dancing, the more

you practice,

the better you will become. During the first few minutes of

my How to

Be Charming, our instructor asked us to list qualities that

we found

charming. Most people said the same thing: funny, warm,

memorable. But

ultimately, it was very difficult to define charm.

Try to know what u should the right things at the right

time as on

knowing what you should not say. That including an

awareness of topics

that are best avoided. There are socially accepted notions

as to what

is and what is and what is not appropriate in particular

circumstances, when speaking, as with other aspects of

behavior. For


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example, you might be expected: firstly to respond to a

greeting with

a similar greeting and smile; and secondly to be co-

operative,

responding to a request either by greeting to help or by

explaining

why you are unable to help; or thirdly when you asked

Would you

like..? to reply, with a smile, either Yes please or No

thank

you. You must listen carefully in any conversation or

discussion to

the contributions of others and have the confidence to

contribute

yourself. This is you should listen without being

submissive.

Normally, you should be assertive, ensuring that your

message is

clearly expressed and understood, but you should not be

aggressive,

you should not attempt to dominate by speaking loudly or

by using


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language intended to ridicule the views of others. People

who differs

from the speaker in age, appearance, race, religion or

sexual

orientation, are to be avoided in all conversations,

discussions,

talks or presentations- as a student and, after graduation,

in any

profession. False and defamatory is one should never say

anything.

What you say and what to do is important. Everything can

be possible,

if you have right time, right place and right situation. In

conversation, the socially acceptable will depend on who

is present,

and on the place, the time and the occation.Not only in

ensure care is

necessary that you own conduct and use of words are

appropriate ate

but also in observing and interpreting non-verbal clues to

feelings of


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others. Psychological research into happiness has, for the

most part,

focused on facial expressions. Its no wonder: most of our

communication-both verbal and nonverbal-comes from our

face. As a

smile may be misunderstood by people whom you know

well: it is not

necessarily a spontaneous expression of pleasure; and

laughter may

indicate amusement, discomfort, embarrassment,

surprise, wonder

orThere are also cultural differences in expectations

relating, as an

example, it is the need for personal space and it is the use

or

avoidance of eye contact which if you not understood can

easily cause

discomfort or annoyance. Eye contact is very important

when we talk.

In human beings, eye contact is a form of nonverbal

communication and

is thought to have a large influence on social behavior.


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What you say

Be accurate

When we talk we must be accurate. It is very important. If

your way of

talk are flexible, people dont like you and people dont

tension on

you. There is a game that you may know is in which

people sit in a

circle, and one whispers a message to a neighbor, and

then says Pass

it on. You has to do is listen carefully and pass on the

massage. If

people listened carefully, there would be nothing of

interest in this

game, thats so remembered the message exactly, and

whispered

clearly-repeating it word for word. The more people there

are in the

circle, the more it is likely to differ from the original. In

other

situations, the person who to pass on messages


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accurately is likely to

have serious and even serious consequences. On

communication skills,

this game can be used in courses as the basis for the class

exercise.

So, this game is one of the interested games. Every

people can happy.

There have one of the complex things that is

communication. People can

communicate speaking to someone directly, face to face

or on the

phone, or sending a written message. It is not easy to

ensure that you

have meaning adequately or that you will be understood.

There are two

types of communication, verbal and nonverbal. Verbal

communication is

communication that uses words, either written or spoken.

In othe situations, failure to pass on messages accurately

is likely to have serious and even fatal consequences ( for

example , inaccurate messages may result in a waste of


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time in any business, in a loss of production in industry, of

in a failture to respond appropriately when first aid is

required urgently immediately after an accident). This

game can therefore be used in courses on communication

skills as the basis for a class exercise. It can also be used

when training first aid workers, for example, to emphasize

the care needed to ensure clarity and accuracy when

passing messages by word of mouth.

Communication is complex, even when speaking to

someone directly, face to face or on the telephone, or

when sending a written message. It is not easy to ensure

that we have expressed our meaning adequately or that

we will be understood. For example of communication is,

thought of speaker give composing message and thought

of listener recieve understanding massage. Accurate

communication, using words alone, is not easy, that is so

difficult. Verbal communication involves our choosing

words and using them to convey our thoughts accurately

as an unambiguous massage in an attempt to evoke

identical thoughts in the minds of listeners or readers, so

that they understand our massage correctly.

In verbal communication, when transferring information


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using words alone, as in a letter or an e-mail, or when

speaking on the telephone to someone we cannot see , we

put our thoughts into words so that they can be sent as a

message- in an attempt ot provoke indentical thoughts in

the mind of a reader or listener. This involves care on the

part of the sender who must: consider what the receiver

needs to know and why this information is needed; convey

just this information as a message , with enough

suppporting detail; choose words the reciever is expected

to know and understand; and use these words correctly in

well-constructed unambiguous sentences.

Care is also necessary on the part of the receiver, who

must pay attention both to the words used and, in speech

especially, to the way they are expressed. So we must be

care for choosing words. Then the interpretation of the

massage is influenced by the recievers prior knowledge,

likes and dislikes, opinions and beliefs, and in face to face

converations, discussions and talks, by the accompanying

non-verbal signals. If we are listener we must give a

comment, question and answer.

Whether or not people are actually speaking,

information transfer is facilitated by unspoken clues to


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their thoughts and feelings. This non-verbal

communication (involving position, posture, eye contact

=, facial expression and other gestures) is aptly called

body language. Absolutely, we must have a good body

language that is so accordingly important for a person.it

rein- forces the words used but is more fundamental than

speech and sometimes makes words unnecessary. For

example, if in conversation our eyebrows do not move

they reveal nothing of our thoughts; if raised slightly they

indicate surprise; if raised fully, disbelief; if lowered

slightly, puzzlement; if lowered fully anger. So , although

we learn to control the out ward expression of our

emotions to some extent, in face to face conversatons and

discussions we cannot always avoid revealing unspoken

thoughts and feelings htaht we might prefer th keep to

ourselves.

Be approraite

What we say and how we say to capture and hold

attention, it must be appropriate to our purpose, to our

subject, to the needs of our audience, and to the occasion.

So always chech, If we can, that any assumptions we


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make about these things are correct. Our purpose in

speaking may be, for example, to inform, to convince, to

consult, to provide feedback, to review, to agree a course

of action, to instruct , to introduce a discussion, to

question, to find fault , or to praise. Our purpose will

influence our choice of words, our use of eye contact, our

facial expressions and gestures, the position we adopt in

relation to our audience, and perhaps also the way we

dress and where we choose to speak. As to the subject, to

the needs of our audience and to the occasion, if we were

talking to people who had invited our to speak about

flowers we would talk only about flower. However, we

might talk, for example; to students of biology about

flowers structure and the fucntions of its parts; to flower

growers about methods of cultivation.

What you do

What we do admire most in others( for example , that they

are able, concerned, conscientious, considerate,

enthusiastic, fair minded, flexible, genuinem, honest,


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open, sincere, trustworthy)? Whose advice would we seek

to help us make balanced judgements?

As to credibility, persuasion is achieved first by the

speakers personal character; second by the effect of the

words used when they stir the emotions; and third by

persuasive arguments suitable to the case in question.

When we promise to do something, do we remember to

do it? Those who come to know we will respect respect us

for what we say, and how we say it, only if they find that

we are consistent; that our do say what we mean, and that

we ours actions do support our words.

Improve your perfomance

Use Standard English _ a world language

The standardisation of English

A political journalist considered knowledge of grammar as

a weapon in struggle of the working classes againt their

oppressors and hoped that Grammar of the English

Language would help the common people. If we are more

understand Standard English our performance will be


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improve. Personal performance improvement is oftentreated like a project. our identify goals; our plan change;

our manifest change; our test change; our review change;

job done. For most personal improvements, this works just

fine.

We can do on a weekly basis, instead or in addition to our

performance project. The first is we must be Introduce

ourself to at least one new person in our class, each week,

and tell them about ourself. Who knows, we may just find

someone who can help us or give us a fresh outlook on our

challenges.

The merits of Standard English

In spite of this recognition of the importance of clear

speech, there has been a change in many peoples

attitude to standard spoken English.in any career much

more time is spent in speaking than in writing; and those

who speak fluently are lidely also to write fluently. yet

speech is learnt by example , in the home, and those who

learn to speak English badly at home may not be

corrected in schools; perhaps some parents who


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themselves speak badly consider there to be nothing

wrong with their childrens speech, and would resent any

attempt to correct it as adverse criticism of their own

speech. So we need to learn standard English to be a good

speaker.

However, the development of Standard English is not

something. On the contrary; the conventions of English

grammar have been accepted and adhered to by most

educated English speaker.

English as a world language

When communication between people in different regions

was difficult it was natural that isolated speech

communities, subject to different influences, should

develop in different directions. Now that most educatedpeople have access to books and newspapers, radio and

television, mobile phones and the Internet, all educated

English-speaking people are familiar with standard

English. English has become a world language. There are

many acceptable varieties of spoken English, but to


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facilitate international communication anyone learning it

as a foreign language needs to know how to pronounce

each new word correctly. Each speakers pronunciation of

English words must be understood by other speakers of

English. As a result, many people who have learned

English as a second language can be more widely

understood than many who have been taught English.

So if we want to use standard English we must be think

clearly to speak clearly.

Reflect on the importance of good oral communication

skills

They are_

(a)To use the vocabulary and grammar of standard

English, which they should understand can be expressed

in a variety of accents; (b) to formulate ideas clearly; (c) tospeak fluently;(d) to adapt their speech to a widening

range of circumstances and demands; and (e) to listen,

understand and respond appropriately in conversations.


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speaking for yourself

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