Secretum Meum Mihi means “My secret is mine”

Secretum Meum Mihi

Volume 1, Number 12 August 2007

A Newsletter for Catholic Women

Copyright 2007 All rights reserved P.O. Box 34-0243Secretum Meum Mihi Press Milwaukee, WI 53234-0243

MALE & FEMALEHE CREATED THEM

Feature Essay: Page 1What does it mean to be a helpmate?

Interview: Page 3Dave and Barbara Link: Soulmates

Scripture Study: Page 5Genesis 3: Back to the Garden

Prayer Intentions: Page 6For Widows

Historical Sketch: Page 7Coffee at the Second Vatican Council

Book Review: Page 8 The Jeweler’s Shop, by Karol Wojtyla

www.MySecretisMine.com

What does it mean to be a helpmate?

Is the term “Catholic feminist” an oxymoron? When Edith Stein immersed herself in the thought of St. Thomas Aquinas, she became one. The coherent integration of mind, soul and body for both men and women is a collaborative effort.

Stein struggled in her relationships with men. Her father died when she was two. Her brothers were much older and overshadowed by her mother. Her potential boyfriends during her university years were intimidated by her intensity and intelligence. Her dissertation director, Edmund Husserl, was a father figure to her. Later, his lack of support for her career goals devastated her.

After her conversion, she found more balance in her friendships with men. Her steady prayer life tempered her professional disappointments. And she read St. Thomas Aquinas.

Aquinas said some pretty dumb things about women, based on the limited biology of his day. Somehow, Edith Stein was able to look past the warts and see the beauty of the whole. For Aquinas, form and function point to essense, the underlying meaning of life. Thus, the human body has meaning beyond the “accidental” facts of gender difference.

(continued on page two)

Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta ) was a Jew who became Catholic in 1922 after reading

the autobiography of St. Teresa of Avila. When

asked why she converted, she wrote, “secretum

meum mihi.” She became a Carmelite in 1934, but

perished in Auschwitz. Her feast is August 9.

Thus, the creativity of men is oriented toward action, protecting and sustaining life. The physical need for exercise that men experience, and their ability to focus on the task at hand allows them to dominate the created order. Men build castles.

Conversely, women are receptive and nurturing. The feminine ability to conceive and nurse a child implies a gender goal exclusive to women: to bring forth new life, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Women build relationships.

Together, men and women reflect the image of God. But original sin has introduced a rebellion in that union. Edith Stein pointed to two types of rebellions, the opposition of man to God’s dominion, and the opposition of the will against the intellect. She notes, “In man, this results in brutish dominance and enslavement to work while the human nature atrophies, while in woman it is seen in servile dependence on men and in sensuality that is not true spirituality, but just a capitulation to the senses.”

In other words, men and women need each other. The fullness of human perfection is found in obedience to God and in mastering our passions. Because the receptivity of a woman led to the advent of the Messiah, in the new covenant, women have a unique role to play. Receptivity is prior to creativity.

The Kingdom is not yet fulfilled. Women experience an imbalance of power in daily life, both at home and at work. Even though 60% of American women work outside the home, women fill only a tiny fraction of seats on corporate boards of directors. There are no women serving in the hierarchy of the Catholic Church. And women still perform the vast majority of homemaking, nursing and caregiving chores.

Page 2 August 2007

Is this patriarchal oppression? Or does the power of women just manifest itself in a different way? How can men and women work together successfully? The next ten issues of Secretum Meum Mihi will explore these questions.

Each month, we will highlight a historical pair who worked together for the sake of the Kingdom. The essay and historical sketch will highlight their enduring contributions to the Church. The bible study and book review will add deeper meaning to their stories, and highlight the particular virtues they perfected in this life. And we will pray to become the change we wish to see in the world.

As it happens, Pope Benedict has indicated that he intends to install some women in higher Vatican offices in the coming year. That ought to be interesting!

No matter who sits in the hot seat, men and women were created to work together. We cannot take the kingdom by force, nor can we force others to love as Jesus taught us. To serve is to reign.

Obediently yours,

Page 3 August 2007

(Dave Link served as the dean of the Notre Dame Law School, and as a university president at a number of schools, including the first Catholic colleges in Australia and South Africa. In this poignant interview, he attributes his worldly successes to his wife, Barbara, who died of ovarian cancer in 2003.)

Kristen: How did you and your wife meet?Dave: We met in high school. She played the Blessed Virgin in our school pageant. She was an incredible woman. She had a devotion to the Blessed Virgin, right from the start. People say to me, “Oh, the woman behind the man!” But, no, she was the leader. She changed me, but I didn’t change a thing about her, thank God!

Kristen: Did Barbara ever think of pursuing a career herself?Dave: She could have been anything she wanted to be. She was so capable! In college, she finished up summa cum laude to my magna cum laude. And she was an outstanding writer.

She was very introverted, and extremely well organized. Most of all, she wanted to be a loving wife and grandmother. She knew that it mattered that she sacrificed for her husband. I suppose there is a generational difference in that.

Kristen: How did Barbara participate in your work?Dave: She never nagged, but she had a little way of inspiring, just in daily conversation. Somehow she knew the things that had to be talked about…like she was in cahoots with the Holy Spirit. She could see how things might work, problem solve with me.

When I went to Australia to start the first Catholic university, the lead donor had promised us $40 million. He lost all of his fortune in six months and couldn’t give us anything. Barbara said, “This is probably the best thing that ever happened. If he had donated that much, it would be his university.” And she was right. We had to fund raise, one donor at a time. Now there are thousands of people who gave $5! It was a great success not because of me, but because of us.

Kristen: Now, come on, Dave! You’ve got many talents too! Are all your successes centered on your wife’s merits? That seems a little far-fetched. Didn’t you two ever disagree on something?Dave: Oh, sure we did! We had lots of vision clashes! But the amazing thing is that there was never any suggestion of hers that failed. Sometimes, I thought, “I’m just going to do this and show her that this isn’t going to work.” And then it would work!

When the major donor in Australia defaulted and we were scraping for every penny, Barbara insisted that we start a Center for Social Concerns. That first million went to the heart of what it means to be a Catholic university. We also started a satellite campus in the northern part of Australia, in aboriginal territory. People said, “You’ll never get them to graduate!” Well, the first graduation included 75 aboriginal grads!

Another time, she pointed out that the board of trustees consisted of all white males. And I said to the archbishop,” I don’t mind scrambling for money, but if the board isn’t diversified, then I’m outta’ here.” We all need the courage to do what needs to be done. Barbara had vision and pushed me to hew to that vision.

Kristen West McGuire interviews Dean Dave Link:My Wife, Barbara, was the Architect of My Earthly Success

Page 4 August 2007

Dave and Barbara Link’s Favorite Scripture:The BeatitudesBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Kristen: This is a very inspiring. How have you coped in the years after her death?Dave: Barb showed love by personal example—she taught me about caring for other people. On her deathbed, she said, “When I die, who’s going to take care of Martha?” Martha was an old woman she helped through the St. Stephen ministry at our parish. She’s what you want to think a saint is, a perfect role model. And I miss her, but I’m not sorry. She still helps me.

Kristen: You are studying for the priesthood to serve as a prison chaplain?Dave: It was her idea for me to become a prison minister. I pointed out to her that I had spent my life putting those people behind bars. And all she said was, “Well, then your skills are needed.”

The guys are really something. One of them told me, “Dave, you’re the reason I became a Catholic.” If you can do that even once, it’s worth it. These guys are pretty tough, and you hope you have an influence.

Barbara still participates in all I do. I told a friend, “The Church doesn’t know it, but they’re about to ordain a woman.”

Dave and Barbara Link

(photo courtesy of Teran Trauernicht,their youngest child)

Page 5 August 2007

Bible Study: Genesis 2:15, 17-25Return to the Garden

“The LORD God then took the man and settled him in the garden of Eden,

to cultivate and care for it.

The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.”

So the LORD God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each of them would be its

name.

The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable

partner for the man. So the LORD God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep,

he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.

The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man.

When he brought her to the man, 5 the man said: “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of ‘her

man’ this one has been taken.” 6 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two

of them become one body. The man and his wife were both naked, yet

they felt no shame.”

(New American Bible)

Context: There are two accounts of the creation of man in the book of Genesis. The first, in Genesis 1:1 - 2:4, emphasizes the essential unity of man and woman before the Lord, and their twofold mandate to exercise dominion over the natural world, and to be fruitful and multiply.

The second account here emphasizes the incompleteness of man without woman. This account of the bliss of Eden is untainted by power issues, which arose after the fall. The essential harmony of their relationship is depicted by their lack of shame.

Translation: Scholars believe that the first creation account is a compilation done by priests of the Temple, possibly even prior to the first Babylonian exile (about 500 B.C.) The second is more human centered, and yet retains evidence that it began as a story told and retold by Mesopotamians over the centuries. (Its convergences with the Babylonian creation epic, Enuma Elish are striking.)

Vocabulary:Eden: derived from a Sumerian word meaning “fertile plain,” Eden connotes a similar Hebrew word meaning “delight”; the Greek word in the Septuagint means, “paradise.”

suitable partner: eser k’negdo: (helpmate) Eser is a derivative of help, which shares a root that means strength (oz). The root of k’negdo means opposite or “in front of.” It’s usually translated “corresponding to him.” Clearly, it does not imply subservience, but mutual strength.

“one body”: literally “one flesh”; classical Hebrew has no specific word for “body.” The sacred writer stresses the fact that conjugal union is willed by God.

Prayer Intentions: Pray for Widows and Widowersby Beverly Mantyh

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

The Bible speaks of widows many times. The widow who has only enough for oil and flour for one loaf is generous and shares with Elijah; God then provides her with enough to live through the famine. Jesus has mercy on the weeping widow and raises her son from the dead. He speaks of the poor widow in the temple as an example of someone who gives from her poverty and will be rewarded.

The Lord promised to console those who mourn. However, the Lord depends upon his Church to act as his eyes, ears, mouth and arms. The Order of Christian Funerals states: “When a member of Christ’s body dies, the faithful are called to a ministry of consolation to those who have suffered the loss of one whom they love.”

The National Catholic Ministry to the Bereaved lists a wealth of resources to help those living with grief. Their information is directed toward professional counselors, but anyone interested in helping with the grief healing process would benefit from the articles, books, links and prayers listed at this site. www.griefwork.org

Grief Recovery Online founded by Widows and Widowers was started by Judy Divers after her husband of 29 years died of cancer. It is a secured, nonprofit peer support group for those suffering the death of a loved one. The primary service of this website is the on-line chat line and its “environment that teaches you have permission to grieve.”

Page 6 August 2007

Adam recognized Eve. He was probably getting tired of naming creatures. It’s lonely at the top of the food chain! Although he apparently slept through the rib extraction, he knew enough to call her his own.

God could not create His own image in only one gender. His goodness overflows. So, a man needs a woman to truly embody the goodness of God. Is it too much of a stretch to posit that woman was created to ensure that man enjoyed AND labored?

A baby’s first learned response is the smile, when Junior recognizes the embrace of the loving caregiver and crinkles his little eyes in response. The baby “recognizes” the love, and responds.

The first account of Genesis emphasizes one fact that the second account forgets to mention. God was very pleased, and even enjoyed his creations. Together.

In all relationships, men and women find that they bring differing and complementary strengths to the table. Obedient to their calling, women have a unique gift for enjoying the fruits of the earth, and celebrating God’s gifts. Likewise, men recognize in women the key to a proper ordering of his work before the Lord.

Discussion Questions:

1. Are there differences between men and women in what evokes a smile? Why is that? Which would you call the result of original sin? Which are “primevil?”

2. There seems to be an inner compass that helps us recognize a friend. It’s easy to love those who are like us. The intimacy of Adam and Eve in the garden was related to the absence of sin. How can we create little pockets of Eden in today’s world?

Page 7 August 2007

Historical Sketch: Coffee Hour at Vatican II

When Carmel McEnroy interviewed the women who attended the Second Vatican Council for her book, Guests in Their Own House, the coffee bars emerged as an issue of contention with each one.

This was no matter of sugar or creamer, decaf or latte. The decorations were lovely: silk in papal hues and flowers, alongside coffee, hot milk and pastries. It was essential fare for the laity present, who would not have had breakfast prior to the conciliar Mass. (One assumes that the bishops each said a private Mass early and ate before the sessions began.)

The coffee bars set up for the attending bishops were crowded, and the clergy believed that rubbing shoulders (or other body parts) with the women in such close quarters would be scandalous. Therefore, they solved the problem by setting up a separate bar just for the women, under the tomb of St. Clement XIII.

Now, as any veteran of office politics knows, plenty of work gets done by the water cooler. In just this way, the women felt excluded from the harrumphing happening at the other bars. Furthermore, the women’s bar troubled the few married couples who were invited as auditors or journalists at the council.

Only two marble lions stood “guard” at the entrance to the women’s caffeine center the first day, but a Swiss guard in full papal regalia was added several days later. He rebuffed entry to all males at that point.

(continued on page eight)

There is also a library, discussion forums, inspirational writings, memorial pages and a newsroom. This is not a faith-based site. www.groww.org

WidowNet was established in 1995 as a online information and self-help resource for, and by, widows and widowers. They offer online interaction, a bulletin board, books, quotes and information concerning financial resources. www.WidowNet.org

Lord, let us pray:* for all widows and widowers that they would know the Holy Spirit as Comforter;

* for all those who mourn, that they would be blessed with friends and family who allow them to mourn in their own way;

* for widows of military personnel, that they would know honor for their spouse and gratitude for their profound sacrifice;

* For those who have cared for spouses with lingering diseases, that God would fill their time with fulfillment and peace;

* for those who have lost their spouses suddenly, that any regrets would be soothed with forgiveness and healing;

* for communities to remember to draw close and care for widows and widowers, emotionally, physically and spiritually; and

* for an increase of care for widows, especially the elderly, that all public agencies and caregivers would be kind and sensitive to their dignity and their loss.

Amen.

Page 8 August 2007

Historical Sketch, con’t

“Bar-None” was the jocular title the women gave to their area, in contrast to the “Bar-Jonah” and “Bar-Abbas” for the bishops.

After repeated complaints from the married couples about the segregated coffee set-up, the guards were removed, and the women were allowed to invite men into their refreshment zone. However, the stigma remained.

Jose Alvarez-Icaza recalled, “Never would it have occurred to the council fathers that in a restaurant, at work, etc., I would never have to be alone with the men and Luz-Ma (his wife) with the women.”

There was some understanding that the protection was for the sake of priestly celibacy, and yet this standard was being imposed on lay people precisely during the session that Gaudium et Spes, the new statement on the Church in the Modern World was being discussed.

The women were technically observers, which meant that the discussions over cafe au lait were truly one of their few opportunities to affect the outcome of the document. Several of the more forward thinking bishops did visit with them, and solicit their ideas. But it was a regrettable symbol of the rampant clericalism in the church at the time.

When and if a Third Vatican Council is ever called, one can sincerely hope that the coffee logistics and much more are handled by a woman who understands the dynamic of the water cooler.

Book Review: The Jeweler’s Shopby Karol Wojtyla(Ignatius Press, translated by Boleslaw Taborski, 1992. 125 pp., $14.95)Reviewed by Beverly Mantyh

Pope John Paul II’s first words as pope were, “Be not afraid!” The Jeweler’s Shop: A Meditation on the Sacrament of Matrimony Passing on Occasion into a Drama presents marriage as fearless, heroic love in the face of individualistic modern philosophies. From his youth through his years as the bishop of Krakow, the future pope acted, directed, translated, and authored plays and dramatic criticism, bringing to life the ideals he cherished.

This play was first published in 1960 under Bishop Wojtyla’s pen name, Andrzej Jawien. The plot revolves around a jeweler and the wedding rings in his reflective display window. Three married couples, one for each act, think out loud rather than interacting with one another. Memory and current events mix as they do in our own thoughts. A chorus emphasizes important points, while the virtues and flaws of the couples and their love are revealed as through a jeweler’s eye piece.

Act I: Signals explores the beginning of love and marriage. Teresa reveals that she waited patiently for Andrew to notice and love her. Andrew allows that Teresa seemed special to him, but her distinction caused him to avoid her. Both ponder the signals that pointed the way to each other as they see both themselves and the wedding rings in the jeweler’s window.

Page 9 August 2007

In Act II: The Bridegroom, we are given a magnified view of the dissolution and pain of lost intimacy. Anna and Stefan, although still married, allow selfishness and unforgiveness to create a chasm between them. In a moment of hopelessness, Anna attempts to sell back her wedding ring. The jeweler refuses, showing her that her wedding ring weighs nothing without her spouse’s ring.

As Anna thinks outside the jeweler’s shop, a stranger listens. He then tells the parable of the wise and foolish virgins, who wait patiently for their bridegroom with their oil lamps. Anna waits, too, and to her surprise the bridegroom has the face of Stefan. She is left to contemplate how to welcome Stefan as her bridegroom when silence has grown between them.

Act III: The Children brings us to the next generation. With their eyes wide open to the flawed love of their parents, Chistopher and Monica act in hope. They choose to love despite their own shortcomings and the troubled examples of their parents. Teresa, Anna and Stefan are the parents of the engaged couple. (Andrew has died.)

The wedding inspires contemplation and memories for the parents. The stranger from Act II, Adam, ponders, “The thing is that love carries people away…They lack humility toward what love must be in its true essence.” Karol Wojtyla then points toward the path of courageous love through Stefan, who humbly admits, “I do not understand what it means “to reflect the absolute Existence and Love”…..(but) for the first time in many years-- I felt the need to say something that would open up my soul, to say it to Anna….”

Karol Wojtyla dramatizes both the eternal significance and the daily angst of love without romanticism. In fact, he does just the opposite. He points us toward the most worthy goal of reflecting Christ in our love for others, yet he realizes with humor that even in the midst of a proposal a woman can be thinking about high heels. The Jeweler’s Shop is a good companion volume for his papal encyclicals on marriage, showcasing the the warmth and compassion of his call to love as Christ loves.

Discussion Questions:

1. In act one, Andrew marvels, “Several years later, I see it clearly that roads which should have diverged have brought us closer together. Those years have been invaluable, giving us time to get our bearings on the complicated map of signs and signals.” Karol Wojtya proposes that God gives us all signs and signals to find our way to love. What signs have directed me in the past? How do I become more aware of the signals God sends me?

Secretum Meum Mihi PressKristen West McGuireFounder/Editor in Chief

Editorial Advisory Board

Alexandra BurghardtMeredith GouldBeverly MantyhMargaret McGuireSandra Miesel

Secretum Meum Mihi is a monthly periodical dedicated to fostering the spirituality of Catholic women. Individual subscriptions are $12.95/year for download, and $24.95/yr for U.S. Mail delivery. (International mail delivery $29.95). Parish subscrip-tions are $119.95. Address all correspondence to the address below, or visit our website at:

www.MySecretisMine.com

Coming Next Month: Saint Peter and Saint Mary Magdalene

Interview: Trappestine Abbess Martha Driscoll

Bible Study: Magdalene Meets the Rabbi in the Empty Tomb

Book Review: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Z.N. Hurston

Historical Sketch: The Location of the Upper Room

Secretum Meum Mihi PressP.O. Box 34-0243

Milwaukee, WI 53234-0243

Page 10 August 2007

“...we see in holy men a womanly tenderness and a truly maternal solicitude for the souls entrusted

to them, while in holy women there is a manly boldness,

proficiency and determination.”

– Edith Stein, in Vocations of Man and Woman,

Essays on Woman

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copyright@MySecretisMine.com

Book Review, Continued2. In act two, Anna wonders, “Isn’t what one feels most strongly the truth?” Facts do get foggy when emotions run high. Is there a highly emotional issue in my own life that could benefit from an application of logic and truth? Or perhaps I am being too logical or practical; do I need to courageously make my feelings known?3. As a single woman, Edith Stein implored women, “The Church expresses the threefold purpose of marriage in the words fides (faithfulness), proles (children), and sacramentum (sacrament). It is necessary today to preserve this traditional conception of marriage…Women must grasp these concepts in the depths of their being, and live accordingly.” She implies that everyone can support and defend the Church’s teaching on marriage. How do you support marriage?