Simple Solutions . . . Managing Conflict

Bart Christian, President Southwest Training Systems, Inc.

Monday, July 14th

3:30 – 4:30 PM www.bartchristian.com

Learning Objectives 1. Learn immediately applicable skills that

can be used in the workplace and in life.

2. Recognize the early signs of conflict and learn skills to diffuse situations before they escalate.

3. Recognize when to stay and when to step away from a conflict situation.

• What is the problem with people? • What are sources of conflict? • How to “See it Coming!” • Deal with It!

4 Things

People resist criticism.

Why do we have People Problems?

Human reaction cannot be predicted.

Why do we have People Problems?

A person’s way of doing things is correct as far as they are concerned.

Why do we have People Problems?

Many people hear only what they want to hear.

Why do we have People Problems?

“It can be stated with practically no qualification that people in general do not know how to listen. For several years, we have been testing the ability of people to understand and remember what they hear.…These extensive tests led to this general conclusion:

• Immediately after the average person has listened to someone talk, he remembers only about half of what he has heard—no matter how carefully he thought he was listening.

• What happens as time passes: Our testing shows…that we tend to forget from one-half to one-third [more] within eight hours.”

UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA - DR. RALPH G. NICHOLS

The definition of communication is the response you get.

If you are not getting the results you want

then you MUST . . . change the way you are communicating.

What are you communicating?

Cortisol (Stress Hormone)

Testosterone (Confidence / Power Hormone)

Feeling Powerful ???

Be Objectively Observant (BOO) ◦ How do people walk? ◦ How do they talk? ◦ Facial Expressions? ◦ Tone of Voice? ◦ Posture & Body Movement? ◦ Eye Contact? ◦ Reactions to events? ◦ Verbal & Non-verbal

Develop a Habit of Observing . . .

Women & Men

BIG 5 - Sources of Conflict

• Unclear Expectations • “Poor” Communication

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime listening . . . when you would have preferred to talk.”

- Doug Larson

BIG 5 - Sources of Conflict

• Personality clashes • Competition for resources

BIG 5 - Sources of Conflict

• GOSSIP

Recognizing the Rising TIDE!!

Defensive Responses

Red Flags -

Truth is . . .

Sometimes discretion truly is the better part of valor.

4 Steps

“I” vs “You”

Stay C.A.L.M. & handle

confrontation

FASCINATION

Quick Tips • BOO – BE OBSERVANT OF BODY LANGUAGE • ASK QUESTIONS OF THE OTHER PERSON (ESPECIALLY IF

YOU THINK YOU UNDERSTAND) • ASK QUESTIONS OF THE OTHER PERSON (ESPECIALLY IF

YOU THINK THEY UNDERSTAND) • PRACTICE 2 + 1 • LISTEN – LET THE OTHER PERSON TELL IT ALL • USE THE C.A.L.M. METHOD FOR DEALING WITH CONFLICT

& COMPLAINTS • FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL AND INFLUENCE –

JUST BE “FASCINATED” BY THE REST

“Committing truth to memory is wonderful – HOWEVER . . . . Real wisdom comes by committing truth to daily life.”

Make the investment!!

EXPECTATION

THEY DESERVE IT !!

Choose To Be Your Best!!

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...

It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

It is really just a choice . . .

Make it a GREAT year & best of luck!

Evaluate this session online.

Visit onthego.schoolnutrition.org on your cell phone’s browser.

Click the “Evaluate Your Sessions” link.

THANK YOU!

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