“Show, Don’t Tell”

“Show, Don’t Tell”This is an old saying that means give the readers actions, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than simple descriptions.

NO:

Mr. Smith was a fat, grouchy old

man.

YES:

Mr. Smith heaved his heavy frame out of the

armchair, and while trying to reach for his

cane, grumbled, “Suzan! Get yourself

over here now!”

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?Actions speak louder than words: show your characters doing something, and let your reader decide what kind of person the character is.

NO:

My father was an honest man.

YES:When the cashier handed my mom a hundred

dollar bill instead of a ten, she smiled, placed the change in her wallet and walked over to tell dad and I how lucky she had just been. Dad let out a

painful sigh, walked back to the cashier, and removing a hundred dollar bill from his own wallet,

said, “you gave my wife too much change.”

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?

Dialogue allows the reader to experience a scene as if they were there. Dialogue can teach your reader a great deal about character, emotion and mood. Instead of telling the reader your mom was angry, they can hear it for themselves:

“Justin Michael,” mom bellowed, “Get in here this instant!”

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?Sensory Language. In order for readers to fully experience what you’re writing about, they need to be able to see, hear, taste, smell and touch the world around them. Try to use language that incorporates several senses, not just sight.

“Ugh, I hate when the sour taste of sweat drips into my mouth during practice.”

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?

Use a metaphor/simile. These tools create an interesting or unexpected image for the reader. If your protagonist is stealthy, you could use a simile about a falling leaf: “She landed under the window like a leaf that had fallen from a tree.”

“Our new puppy restlessly wandered around the house, his nails clicking over the wood floor like tap-dancing beetles.”

“Show, Don’t Tell”How do you do this?Be specific. Add more details to your story. This will fill in the gaps in the reader’s understanding of events. Think of what questions your reader will ask about your writing.

NO:

Aiden went to see a musical.

YES:

Because a friend told him that “seeing a musical is the thing to do in London,” Aiden found

himself standing inside the front door of the Foxwoods

Theater…

Warning!“Show, don’t tell” is NOT about adding as many adjectives as possible to your sentences.

NO:Emily slowly sat on the old, scratched, smelly,

worn-leather couch.

NO:The quick brown fox

jumps over the lazy dog.

Warning!Rather than saying “show, don’t tell,” we should say this:

“Show as much as you can, tell as little as you can.”

Why? Because it’s impossible to “show” all the time. Sometimes, you will need to directly tell the reader what’s on your mind.