Sharon M. Danes Professor

University of Minnesota

Family Social ScienceDepartment

612-625-9273sdanes@umn.edu

Surviving Change in Family Finances

Learning Objectives

• Understand people’s normal responses to change in varying situations

• Evaluate how you view change• Learn ways to develop or maintain

resilience in times of change• Assess your change capacity

People’s reactionsto sudden and

unplanned incomeloss are complex

and a blend ofseveral parts of

their lives.

Consequences of Unplanned Income Loss

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department,University of Minnesota.

People don’t resist change;they resist being changed.

People resist change.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Making Change Happen:

Instead of forcing people to change, remove

the constraints.

Reactive Change Model

RESPOND

ADAPT

ADJUST

CONFORM

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota .

__________________________________________________________

Proactive Change Model

__________________________________________________________

Thrive

Plan for

Integrate

Embrace

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

Reactive Response

Proactive Response

Change as Loss

Change as Opportunity

How much

How fast

How many

How much control

How much involvement

How viewed

__________________________________________________________

n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n

`

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

Reactive Response

Proactive Response

Change as Loss

Change as Opportunity

How much

How fast

How many

How much control

How much involvement

How viewed

__________________________________________________________

n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n

`

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

Reactive Response

Proactive Response

Change as Loss

Change as Opportunity

How much

How fast

How many

How much control

How much involvement

How viewed

__________________________________________________________

n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n

`

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

How Change Is Viewed

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Viewchg.ppt

Possession is 90% of the law.

Perception is 90% of any situation.

Comparison of Income and Spending Decreases

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Types of Change

Normative Change

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Change/Typechng.ppt

Non-normative Change

Types of ChangeNormative Change: The normal, everyday changes that everyone faces.

Non-normative Change:Unexpected change often referred to as a crisis.

Outcome: Resilience • For normative change: Continued

ability to view change as opportunity; ability to manage at the speed of change.

• For non-normative change: Ability to bounce back from the consequences of unexpected change.

Leadership and Change: Two Dimensions

1. Personal: Assessing your view of the change before you move forward.

2. Organization: In your role as a professional, you have a critical role to instill a culture of change as opportunity within the clients with whom you work.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Change Orientation Assessment

How do YOU view change?

Your Score• Add the total score in each

column.• Total the scores from the five

columns.

Evaluating Your Change Orientation Score 18 90Proactive Reactive

Understanding Your ReactionChange as loss Change as opportunity

A close friend has receiveda promotion he/she has long sought

Your best friend has just lost his/her job.

Research verifies that we follow one of two patterns of behavior following any change in our personal or work life – change as loss or change as opportunity

When change

is seen as loss,

people grieveDeveloped by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Change/unexpected.ppt

Stages of the Grief Cycle

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying.

“Normal” Functioning

Return to Meaningful

Life

Shock & Denial

• Avoidance

• Confusion• Fear• Numbne

ss• Blame

Acceptance

• Exploring options

• A new plan in place

Anger

• Frustration• Anxiety• Irritation• Embarrassmen

t• Shame

Dialogue &Bargaining

• Reaching out to others

• Desire to tell one’s story

• Struggle to find meaning for what has happened

Depression & Detachment

• Overwhelmed

• Blahs• Lack of energy• Helplessness

The Grief Cycle is not necessarily a linear progression

People can get stuck at any stage or flip back to a previous one.

Decision-making is very difficult and unwise in the shock, anger and detachment stages

Stages of the Grief Cycle

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying.

“Normal” Functioning

Return to Meaningful

Life

Shock and Denial

• Avoidance

• Confusion• Fear• Numbne

ss• Blame

Acceptance• Exploring

options• A new

plan in place

Anger

• Frustration• Anxiety• Irritation• Embarrassmen

t• Shame

Dialogue and Bargaining

• Reaching out to others

• Desire to tell one’s story

• Struggle to find meaning for what has happened

Depression and Detachment

• Overwhelmed

• Blahs• Lack of energy• Helplessness

An individual views the situation differently after completing the Grief Cycle

Stages of the Grief Cycle

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying.

“Normal” Functioning

Return to Meaningful

Life

Shock & Denial

• Avoidance

• Confusion• Fear• Numbne

ss• Blame

Acceptance

• Exploring options

• A new plan in place

Anger

• Frustration• Anxiety• Irritation• Embarrassmen

t• Shame

Dialogue & Bargaining

• Reaching out to others

• Desire to tell one’s story

• Struggle to find meaning for what has happened

Depression & Detachment

• Overwhelmed

• Blahs• Lack of energy• Helplessness

What should we be especially concerned about with those who are in this diagram due to today’s turbulence?

Decision-making is very difficult and unwise in the shock, anger and detachment stages

Decision Making in the Grief Cycle

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying.

“Normal” Functioning

Return to Meaningful Life

Shock & Denial

• Avoidance

• Confusion• Fear• Numbne

ss• Blame

Acceptance• Exploring

options• A new

plan in place

Anger

• Frustration• Anxiety• Irritation• Embarrassmen

t• Shame

Dialogue & Bargaining

• Reaching out to others

• Desire to tell one’s story

• Struggle to find meaning for what has happened

Depression & Detachment• Overwhelme

d• Blahs• Lack of energy• Helplessness

Shock and DenialNeed for decision making often not recognized

AngerEmotional drain makes decision making very difficult

Depression and Detachment

Hard to find the energy to make decisions

Decision Making in Grief Cycle

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota; illustrated by Jim Kiehne Graphics. FromKubler-Ross, E., 1969, On Death and Dying.

“Normal” Functioning

Return to Meaningful

Life

Shock & Denial

• Avoidance

• Confusion• Fear• Numbne

ss• Blame

Acceptance• Exploring

options• A new

plan in place

Anger

• Frustration• Anxiety• Irritation• Embarrassmen

t• Shame

Dialogue & Bargaining

• Reaching out to others

• Desire to tell one’s story

• Struggle to find meaning for what has happened

Depression & Detachment• Overwhelme

d• Blahs• Lack of energy• Helplessness

Dialogue and Bargaining

More open to exploring options and planning

AcceptanceBecoming empowered to make decisions again

Empathy not Sympathy• Empathy: mentally

entering into the spirit or feeling of another person; walking in another’s shoes.

• Sympathy: feelings or impulses of compassion.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Sympathy Empathy Role Play

Empathy not Sympathy

Empathy helps people move toward the proactive cycle.

Sympathy often keeps people in the reactive mode.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Sympathy vs. Empathy• Sympathy

increases powerlessness.

• Empathy creates

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Sympathy vs. Empathy• Sympathy feeds

denial and anger.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

• Empathy opens your mind to

Sympathy vs. Empathy

Sympathy keeps you stuck.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Empathy encourages reframing the situation.

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, University of Minnesota.

SMD0049.ppt

Words Attitudes Behaviors

Incorporating

Developmental Process

© Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota

Circle of Concern

© Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota

Circle of Concern

Circle ofInfluence

© Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota

Circle of Concern

Circle ofInfluence

Things over which you do not have

influence

© Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota

Circle of Concern

Circle ofInfluence

Things over which you do not have

influence

What do I have control over?

Response When Change is Considered

Adapted by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Department of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota and Robert A. Milligan, Professor, Department of Applied Economics and Management, Cornell University, from Daryl R. Conner’s book, “Managing at the Speed of Change”.

There is excitement about the change decision and belief that this is the best decision. This is the “honeymoon” phase of implementation

The true impact, including the “warts,” become apparent. Doubts arise about whether the change is good

Checking Out:The change is now viewed as a loss rather than an opportunity

Informed pessimism is an inevitable part of change as opportunity, checking out is not

Horizontal axis is time – exact time is different for each change and each individual

Vertical axis is the level of pessimism about the change

Change

Reward

Satisfaction

InternalControl

What’s Needed to Maintain Change?

Developed by Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota.

Maintchg.ppt

ToughTimes

Group of 17 publicationsIn a Series

www.ruralmn.umn.edu

Families

Financial Decisions With Less

ToughTimes

Figuring Out How to Do With Less

Getting Help

Dealing with the Stress

Children and Tough Times

Adjusting to Suddenly Reduced Income

Economic Adjustment Strategy Interactive Assessment

www.ruralmn.umn.edu

Families

Change: bottom of list

Change: Loss, Opportunity, and Resilience

www.ruralmn.umn.eduHomepage

Audio-streamed PowerPoint Presentations

www.ruralmn.umn.edu

Change and Being a LeaderChange: Loss, Opportunity, and

ResilienceStaying Resilient in Times of Change

Homepage

Assumptions About Change

Pressure will be exerted to keep the status quo.

Those who passionately want to change are often impatient for it to begin and continue.

Disagreement and conflict in the change process is normal and inevitable.

Those changing often make three steps forward and one backward in their progression toward change.

Developed by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, Family Social Science Department, College of Human Ecology, University of Minnesota

Assumpts.ppt

You Must BE THE CHANGE

You Wish To See In The World!

Mahatma Gandhi

Consolidating What You Have Learned…

1.What is the most valuable lesson I have learned?

2. Write it down on a

piece of paper and hand to the right.