shadow integration_ the complete shadow work process in four steps _ words from the wind

8/11/2019 Shadow Integration_ the Complete Shadow Work Process in Four Steps _ Words From the Wind

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9/22/2014 Shadow Integration: The Complete Shadow Work Process in Four Steps | Words from the Wind

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Words from the Wind

Philosophical Fragments by Adam J. Pearson

Shadow Integration: The Complete Shadow Work Process in Four Steps

By Adam J. Pearson
http://philosophadam.wordpress.com/


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1. Shadows and Shadow Work Recap

Shadows are those contents of the mind that feel uncomfortable, painful, terrifying, infuriating, anxiety-inducing, or otherwisedisturbing to us. We know them when they arise because they hurt, anger, disturb, or make us feel limited in some way. Most of thetime, shadows arethought-patternsthat bring up these disturbing feelings. Shadow work is the process of actively acknowledging,

facing, exploring, working through, reowning, and allowing our shadows to arise, be present, and subside. Shadow work involves a
http://philosophadam.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/some-fragmentary-reflections-on-shadow-work/


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willingness to be open to our real experiencenot our experience as we think it should be, but our experience as it isand explore it fully.The fruits of shadow work carried out over time can be a great sense of freedom from parts of our minds that previously limited us and agreater sense of overall peace with the state of our lives.

2. Two-Way Attention, Interrogating the Shadow, and Shadow Integration

In a previous article

, I described the method of two-way attention, a way of working with a shadow in which you hold your attention

in two directions at once: some attention on the shadow itself, some attention on the awareness in which the shadow is appearing.

In the article that followed, I introduced yet another tool for shadow work:interrogating the shadow.Interrogating the shadow is aprocess of asking progressively more precise and detailed questions about a shadow and its various aspects underlying motivations,repressed reasons, connections to idealized self-images, effects on patterns of feeling/thinking/behaving, roots in particular memories orexperiences, etc.in order to gain insight into it. The interrogation process effectively makes previously unconscious aspects of ourexperience conscious through a process of question-based discovery. Part 2 of the Interrogating the Shadow introduced a practicalexample of the interrogation process drawn from a real conversation.

This article will focus on how we bring all of these tools and techniques together to comprehensively work through and reown orintegrate a shadow. I call this theshadow integrationprocess: (1) choose shadow, (2) face it with two-way attention, (3) question it,and (4) own and embody it.
http://philosophadam.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/interrogating-the-shadow-part-2-the-process-in-practice/http://philosophadam.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/the-method-of-interrogating-the-shadow-a-tool-for-shadow-work/http://philosophadam.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/deep-shadow-work-and-the-method-of-two-way-attention/


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3. Background: How I got into Shadow Work

Before we get into the nuts and bolts of shadow integration, Id like to say a words about how I got into shadow work because this willprovide a sense of why I think shadow work is important and worthwhile and how I developed the shadow integration process. For most

of my life, I struggled with some difficult shadow patterns that severely limited my life in important ways. Among these were deepanxiety about being around other people out of fear that they would judge me, fears of drowning, heights, and large animals, andfeelings of insecurity and inadequacy. For years, these shadows arose within me again and again and constellated painful feelings anddepressing thought patterns around themselves. Because I felt anxious, insecure, and afraid, I would often chicken out of socialopportunities and prefer to be alone.

I felt deeply unsatisfied even after I went through a variety of spiritual experiences in which I came to realize the interdependence of allthings in the universe and the ultimate freedom of awareness. These realizations brought great peace and joy, but the shadows remainedin the background. When the light from the enlightenments faded out, the shadows took over once again. The feelings of anxiety, fear,

helplessness and hopelessness hung like storm clouds over my life, even as I did my best to be happy, have fun, and move on.


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Eventually, I began to have the sense that these persistent problems in my inner life had to have solutions. There had to be something Icould doto work through them or some way of seeing them that could allow me to seethrough them. The dots were there already; itwas only a matter of connecting them.

Photo: Scott Kiloby

In May of 2011, I was added to a Facebook group led by Scott Kiloby, which he called No Holds Barred. The premise of the groupwas that it would be a forum with no rules; members would be free to verbally attack and call each other out with as much ferocity asthey wished. It was like psychological Fight Club. No one was safe from the attacks, not even the groups own administrators or Scotthimself.

Throughout my whole life, I had been told to be kind and caring to others. NHB was a shock. This was a therapy that seemed like theopposite of a therapy, a process of overcoming pain by hurting. In NHB, all of my insecurities were attacked. My worries about looking

too young for my age or being thin, my fears, even personal aspects from my life were used to attack me brutally. At some points, the


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attacks got so deeply personal that I had to leave the group for a few days to work through all of the material that had been stirred upwithin me. The attacks pointed to the shadows; where it hurt was where I was stuck.

The funny thing, though, was that I began to feel progressively more immune to the attacks. I thought, what can they possibly attackme for? Looking too young, feeling insecure, being afraid? But I already know I feel these ways. They are not telling me anything new.Over time, I even started to laugh at the attacks! This was something totally new for me: laughing at my fear, laughing at my insecurity.I attacked and was attacked and we had a good time for a while and made some major progress working through shadows through thisaggressive Fight Club approach. Powerful shadows that had held me under their control for years and years lost their pull over me Iaccepted and integrated them and found that a new way of living was possible for me, a life liberated from the prison of the shadows Ithat had clung to for so long.

In time, however, Scott left the group, the administrators were thrown out and people seized power. Others came into the group withoutunderstanding its philosophical foundation in trying to work through shadows through confrontation. They turned the group into aplace of bullying for bullyings sake, attacking for attackings sake. It ceased to be a productive place and, thus, many of the oldmembers started to leave. I hung on for a while, but eventually had to leave as well. I left with the firm conviction, however, that theonly way to work through these problems that had hounded me for so long was to boldly face them head on, dive into them, andeown them. Only this, and not retreating into some spiritual belief system, would take methroughthe shadows and not just

temporarily away from them.

4. Background: Ken Wilbers 3-2-1 Process


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While I was at NHB, Scott Kiloby introduced me to a way of working with shadows, specifically, shadows associated with particularpeople and their particular qualities. Ken Wilber and some of his associates at the Integral Life Institute had developed the 3-2-1 process.Kelly Sosan Bearer describes the process with great clarity in her article, Practice: The 3-2-1 Process. She writes that the 3-2-1 processinvolves the following steps:

1. Choose an experience in your life that you want to work with. Its often easier to begin with a person with whom you have difficulty(e.g., lover, relative, boss). This person may irritate, disturb, annoy, or upset you. Or maybe you feel attracted to, obsessedwith,infatuated with, or possessive about this person. In any case, choose someone with whom you have a strong emotional charge,whetherpositive or negative.

2. Face It :Now, imagine this person. Describe those qualities that most upset you, or the characteristics that you are most attracted tousing 3rd-person language (he, she, it). Talk about them out loud or write it down in a journal. Take this opportunity to let it out.Dont try to be skillful or say the right thing. There is no need to sugar-coat your description. The person you are describing will neversee this.

3. Talk to It: Begin an imaginary dialogue with this person. Speak in 2nd person to this person (using you language). Talk directly to

this person as if he or she were actually there in the room with you. Tell them what bothers you about them. Ask them questions such asWhy are you doing this to me? What do you want from me? What are you trying to show me? What do you have to teachme? Imagine their response to these questions. Speak that imaginary response out loud. Record the conversation in your journal if youlike.

4. Be It: Become this person. Take on the qualities that either annoy or fascinate you. Embody the traits you described in Face It. Use1st-person language ( I, me, mine). This may feel awkward, and it should. The traits you are taking on are the exact traits that you havebeen denying in yourself. Use statements such as I am angry, I am jealous, I am radiant. Fill in the blank with whatever qualitiesyou are working with: I am__________.

5. To complete the process, notice these disowned qualities in yourself. Experience the part of you that isthis very trait. Avoid making theprocess abstract or conceptual: just BE it. Now you can re-own this trait in yourself.
http://integrallife.com/awaken/shadow/practice-3-2-1-shadow-process


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There were some things about this process, which was based on working from the 3rd to the 2nd and finally, the 1st person perspective

(3-2-1), that I really liked. I liked the focus on facing and reowning parts of ourselves. I liked the idea of trying to draw out insights fromthe shadows and the emphasis on direct experience.

At the same time, however, I had trouble connecting with the idea of focusing every shadow in a person. Many of my own shadowswere related to the feelings I felt about myself and the ways I thought about myself. Personifying myself and then asking questions likewhy are you doing this to me? just didnt feel right for me. The shadows were still there and I didnt feel like I was fully workingthrough them as best I could. This led me to wonder if I could preserve the really powerful aspects of Ken Wilbers process and yetmodify the rest to include things that worked for me. The methods of two-way attention and interrogating the shadow could be usefulhere, I thought. And so, I decided to tie all of this together in a single four-step process. I call this processshadow integration.


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5. The Shadow Integration Process

Shadow integration is like the 3-2-1 process in that it involves work with shadows and reowning and integrating these. What makes it

distinctive is that it applies some different techniques, such as two-way attention, and does not require connecting a given shadow to aparticular person. Ill explain this more clearly as I outline the steps. The shadow integration process works in the following way:


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1. Choose a shadow that you want to work with: I usually go with whichever shadow is coming up most strongly in my mind atthe time, but you can also choose ones you notice recurring in your life. The shadow you choose can be any thought-pattern or feeling-pattern at all. Thoughts connected to fear, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, insecurity, clinging, aversion, hatred,anger, sadness, depression, apathy, and other such strong emotions work particularly well.

2. Face it with the method of two-way attention: Focus and direct your attention to both the shadow and the clear, awake space ofawareness in which it is arising. Really go into the shadow; dont resist it or distance yourself from it. Dive into it. Feel it out. Feel it fully.Try to taste its unique flavour. Be present with it and aware of it and how it is affecting you.


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3. Interrogate the shadow: Begin the shadow interrogation process. Question the shadow. You can begin by asking simple, basicquestions. As you gain practice, you can move on to more precise, detailed questions about the shadow and its various aspects. Forexample, you can ask questions like:

What is this thought/feeling pattern?How does it really, honestly make me feel? Why does it make me feel that way?Is it based on any assumptions?Why do I think this thought-pattern is true?Why do I hold on to it?Do I have any underlying motivations here that Im not facing?Am I repressing anything? Am I denying it or projecting it onto others?Why do I resist this shadow?Is it related to an idealized self-image, a way I would like to be or people have told me I should be?

How does this thought-pattern affect how I behave, think, feel?Does it limit me in some way? What would life be like if I didnt hold on to this thought pattern?How did I develop this shadow? Did it have any roots in any of my past experiences or things people have told me?Did I learn this pattern? How?

Ask as many or as few questions as you wish. Approach the questioningorganically; let the shadow dictate the questions in a naturalway. Your goal is insight into the shadow. When you are doing the shadow interrogation, it may be helpfulto write out your questionsand answersor to communicate them to another person if you are doing group shadow work.


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4. Own it:We tend to deny and project and push our shadows away. But at the end of the shadow work process, what we need to do isthe precise opposite of that, namely, ownthe shadow. Accept it fully as being the the reality of what you are living now. As Kelly SosanBearer puts it, Embody the traits Use 1st-person language ( I, me, mine). This may feel awkward, and it should. The traits you aretaking on are the exact traits that you have been denying in yourself. Use statements such as I am angry, I am jealous, I am

radiant. Whatever you are repressing; take it on, accept it and embody it. Fill in the blank with whatever qualities you are workingwith: I am__________.This is truly theintegrationstage of the shadow integrationprocess. Here, you resolve the gap that theresistance created; you see through the apparent duality. As in the 3-2-1 process, avoid making the process too abstract. Keep bringing itback to your concrete experience, what you are really feeling, really experiencing. Thats what its all about.6. Shadow Integration Summary and the Value of the ProcessThis is the shadow integration process in a nutshell:

(1) choose the shadow(2) face it with two-way attention

(3) interrogate it(4) own it and embody it.

Visual Summary:


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1. Choose Shadow2. Face it with two-way attention3. Question i t4. Own it and Embody itThe beauty and value of this process is its power; it works for any shadow, no matter how weak or powerful, how insignificant or

important. Shadows are cast by our feelings, thoughts and experiences. They shape our experience. When we resist them, deny them,repress them, and ignore them, we do not escape them; they continue to limit and drive us and make us suffer. Shadow integration is away of mending the tears in our mental fabric that these repressions and resistances create. It is a way of recovering our fundamentalwholeness of healing the rifts we feel within us. It is a way of working through inner conflict into the peace beyond it. It is a way ofworking through our suffering to a greater sense of joy for our lives. It is, in short, a movement from the painful fragmentation of ourinner lives to the wholeness of real, authentic integration.

2011

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1. MirenaOctober 21st, 2011REPLY QUOTE

Good work adam

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