session seven - home - community of mindful parenting · 2018. 6. 28. · this week’s focus...

Session 7 - Outline - of 19

Copyright © 2000, Community of Mindful Parenting. All rights reserved. – Updated 9/21/2015

Session Seven

Table of Contents Session Seven Facilitation Outline ..............................................................................................................................3

Session Seven Course Material ..................................................................................................................................8

Session Seven Framework ..........................................................................................................................................8

Goals: ......................................................................................................................................................................8

Theoretical Background: .........................................................................................................................................8

Session Prep ...............................................................................................................................................................8

Arrival & Welcome .....................................................................................................................................................8

Pause for Practice – Centering with 4-5-6 Breathing .................................................................................................9

Check-In ......................................................................................................................................................................9

Review and Reflect .....................................................................................................................................................9

Session Six Reflections: ...........................................................................................................................................9

Readings for Session Seven:....................................................................................................................................9

Transition to this Week’s Focus:.............................................................................................................................. 10

Making Marriage Work: .......................................................................................................................................... 10

Elements of Positive Partnerships: ...................................................................................................................... 11

1. Creating Love Maps: ................................................................................................................................. 11

2. Nurture fondness and admiration: .......................................................................................................... 11

3. Turn toward each other rather than away or against: ............................................................................ 11

4. Honor your partner’s perspective: ........................................................................................................... 11

5. Approach conflict with kindness and love: .............................................................................................. 11

6. Let your partner influence you:................................................................................................................ 11

7. Create shared meaning: ........................................................................................................................... 11

Heart-Centered Dialogue – Elements of Positive Partnerships: .......................................................................... 12

Maintaining Healthy Communication: .................................................................................................................... 12

Stay Connected .................................................................................................................................................... 12

Manage Conflict ................................................................................................................................................... 12

Maintain Friendships ........................................................................................................................................... 13

Maintain Physical Intimacy .................................................................................................................................. 13

Finding Humor/Have Fun ..................................................................................................................................... 13

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Communication........................................................................................................ 14

The Power of Gratitude: .......................................................................................................................................... 14

Gratitude and Mindfulness: ................................................................................................................................. 14

Cultivating Gratitude ............................................................................................................................................ 15



Heart-Centered Dialogue - Gratitude ....................................................................... 16

Pause for Practice – Letter of Gratitude and Appreciation to Oneself ................ 16

Pause for Practice – Love and Gratitude to Baby, Oneself and Partner............... 17

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Love and Gratitude ........................................................ 17

Group Reading: Poem – Gratitude .......................................................................................................................... 18

Next Week’s Focus .................................................................................................................................................. 18

Deepening Your Awareness at Home ...................................................................................................................... 18

Session Seven Reflections: ................................................................................................................................... 18

Readings for Session Eight: .................................................................................................................................. 18

Online Hand Out: ................................................................................................................................................. 18

In Group Sharing – Session Eight ......................................................................................................................... 18

Closing Ritual – Weaving the Circle ......................................................................................................................... 19

End of Session Summary: ........................................................................................................................................ 19



Session Seven Facilitation Outline

Proposed Time

Session Prep

At Home

Goals:

Identify and discuss key principals in successful partnerships.

Expand an understanding of communication strategies, finding humor and the importance of empathetic listening.

Discuss the impact of a powerful partnership on children.

Understand the importance of a grateful state of mind.

Build a new family with their partner and baby.

Arrival and Welcome

Centering Practice with 4-5-6 Breathing

‘I have arrived. I am here’.

Facilitator Note: There is lots to cover this week and we wanted to leave as much time as possible for dialogue.

Check-In

Review and Reflect

Reflections for Session Six

What was most meaningful about the process of interviewing your partner/spouse?

What was difficult?

Is there an answer to a question asked they would like to share?

Readings for Session Seven

Brene Brown ‘ The Power of Vulnerability’ June 2010 Available on our Curriculum site or the Mindful Spotlight for July – Vulnerability http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability ***Masters of Love By: Emily Esfahani Smith Published: The Atlantic, Jun 12 2014 ***Important read. The Happy Couple By Suzann Pileggi Published: Scientific American Mind

10 min



This Week’s Focus Making Marriage Work

Elements of a Positive Partnership

1. Creating Love Maps 2. Nurture fondness and admiration 3. Turn toward each other rather than away or against 4. Honor your partner’s perspective 5. Approach conflict with kindness and love 6. Let your partner influence you 7. Create shared meaning

Heart-Centered Dialogue – Elements of Positive Partnerships:

What sorts of things do the mothers do to foster continued exploration in their relationship?

What sorts of things do they do to nurture fondness and admiration?

What sorts of things do they do to create an atmosphere that supports open communication?

How do they let their partner know their perspective matters?

What are their shared visions of the future together and as a family?

25 min



Maintaining Healthy Communication

Stay Connected

Manage Conflict

Maintain Friendships

Maintain Physical Intimacy

Finding Humor/Have Fun

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Communication

Have they noticed a change in the way they communicate with their partner since baby has been born?

What do they do to stay connected with their partner?

In session six, we spoke about attentive listening; responding mindfully is just as important. How do the nature of the following phrases relating to responding in a discussion create space to keep mothers on the ‘high road’?

o Before you respond ask yourself:

Is the response truthful?

Is the response helpful?

Does the response come from the heart?

Is the response appropriate or timely?

How do they think maintaining relationships with friends helps their relationship with their partner? What have they found to be difficult about attempts to maintain friendships?

How many laugh with their spouse or partner on a regular basis? How does their mind, body and self-feel when they connect and laugh together?

30 min

The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude and Mindfulness

Cultivating Gratitude

Heart-Centered Dialogue - Gratitude

How do they know when they are appreciated?

How do they deal with the feelings they have when they feel appreciated?

Do they take the time to notice and acknowledge those things that make them happy and inspire gratitude with in them?

Do they take the time to let their loved ones know they are grateful or do they treat it like ‘they should be doing that’?

How do they deal with the feelings that arise as a result of not feeling appreciated?

How often do they let their partners know how grateful they are to have them in their lives?

15 min



Pause for Practice – Letter of Gratitude and Appreciation to Oneself

Pass out paper and a pen. Take two minutes to write detailed answers for each of the questions below, to be completed in group:

What are the mothers grateful for in their lives?

What do they most appreciate about themselves?

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Letter of Gratitude and Appreciation to Oneself

Take a few moments to discuss what mothers wrote about being grateful appreciate about themselves.

Did they find it difficult to find things to be thankful for and appreciate?

Why?

Pause for Practice – Love and Gratitude to Baby, Oneself, Partner

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Love and Gratitude

Take a few moments to discuss what mothers wrote about being grateful appreciate about themselves and did they find it difficult? Why?

Did the sensations in their bodies changes as a result of the gratitude exercise?

How do you think these reflective statements change our mindset?

Did they want to alter the grateful statements after they have had a chance to complete the Love and Gratitude exercise?

How often do they find time to acknowledge the things that make them happy?

Do they find they spend more time reflecting on what went wrong or attempting to ‘fix’ something. (Five positives to override a single negative).

How can they begin to cultivate a grateful state of mind?

Group Reading: Poem – Gratitude

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~ Melody Beattie

20 min



Next Week’s Focus

Next week’s focus review the programs highlights and associated mindful practices, Circle of Security and emotional realization. End the session with group photo and woven circle.

Deepening Your Awareness at Home

Session Seven Reflections

Reflect on what you are grateful for surrounding your baby and partner.

What specific things are you grateful for that your partner brings to your relationship?

Based on the discussion of John Gottman’s elements of successful partnerships, how are you contributing to the success of your partnership?

Plan to focus on one specific thing you are grateful for each day.

Readings for Session Eight

A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day By: John Tierney Published: NY Times November 21, 2011 Understanding the Science of Gratitude By: Joel and Michelle Levey. Published: Huffington Post July 11, 2011. The Benefits of Journaling, Purcell, M. (2006). The Health Benefits of Journaling. Psych Central

Online Hand Out


In Group Sharing – Session Eight

Invite mothers to bring something of meaning to share next week.

Closing Ritual – Weaving the Circle

5 min

End of Session Summary At Home



Session Seven Course Material

Session Seven Framework

Goals:

Identify and discuss key principals in successful partnerships.

Expand an understanding of communication strategies, finding humor and the importance of empathetic listening.

Discuss the impact of a powerful partnership on children.

Understand the importance of a grateful state of mind.

Build a new family with their partner and baby.

Theoretical Background: Books used:

WHAT PARENTS LEARN FROM THEIR PARENTS MARRIAGE, Judith Siegel

THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK, John Gottman

Session Prep Consider the following items when preparing for your group session:

String and scissors – for ‘Weaving the Circle’ closing ritual, if needed to replace a broken string.

Plan to bring pens and paper for this week’s written REFLECTION in group.

Set your space with beauty.

Arrival & Welcome

Plan to arrive a few minutes early to set your space.

Welcome mothers and babies as they arrive.

Transition: Once everyone is settled in, begin with a Centering Practice.



Pause for Practice – Centering with 4-5-6 Breathing

Allow participants to get settled. Invite them to bring their hand to their heart. Breathe in in out several times slowly. Focus on your breath. Take a deep breath in, hold for four and say to yourself “I have arrived,” Hold your breath for a count of five. Exhale for a count of six and say to yourself “I am here.” Repeat two to three times.

Check-In Check-ins are an opportunity to bring mothers’ voices in and be witnessed in the mothering journey. Questions:

What is a ‘pearl’ for you from last week?

Sometimes a highlight can be difficult. If a mother doesn’t have a highlight, ask them to share something that feels comfortable.

Facilitator Note: As a facilitator you may choose to briefly share a highlight from your week as a parent, demonstrating Common Humanity.

Review and Reflect To start the transition to this week’s lesson material, take an opportunity to discuss the above group reading and bridge last week’s REFLECTIONS. Ask participants if there was something that stood out for them in the reading material that they would like to share. Mothers may not have had a chance to read the articles so be prepared to share one or two salient thoughts.

Session Six Reflections: Part 1, Part 2 Discuss Reflections –

What was most meaningful about the process of interviewing your partner/spouse?

What was difficult?

Is there an answer to a question asked they would like to share?

Readings for Session Seven: Brene Brown ‘ The Power of Vulnerability’ June 2010 Available on our Curriculum site or the Mindful Spotlight for July – Vulnerability http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability



***Masters of Love By: Emily Esfahani Smith Published: The Atlantic, Jun 12 2014 ***Important read. The Happy Couple By Suzann Pileggi Published: Scientific American Mind

Transition to this Week’s Focus: The last two sessions have been spent focusing on the fourth pillar of the curriculum which is Relationships as we are social beings, relationships are critical to our survival. In session six, we furthered the understanding of the transition to parenthood, began the process of understanding our partner’s internal working models, attempted to identify the fabric of our unmet needs and discussed the importance of nurturing intimacy and connectedness through allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Session seven focuses on understanding the key principles of successful partnerships. Positive parental partnerships are key for baby’s development. They are part of the foundation on which all other things are built. We’ll discuss healthy communication, deepen our understanding of listening understand the power of gratitude and a grateful state of mind.

Making Marriage Work: As we discussed in session one, a holding environment for an infant is a physical and emotional container where they are protected without knowing they are protected. Holding environments and containers are part of every relationship. The sharing of hopes and dreams, thoughts and feelings through words and behavior create a safety and intimacy necessary and essential for improving significant relationships. Couples need to share in order to help them feel connected and building trust and commitment. Marriage and partnerships take work and compromise. Loving partners and couples are attuned and attentive to each other. High rates of positive engagement pay off as good feelings accumulate and are unconsciously stored. By avoiding defensive language and responding respectfully and lovingly, partners can draw on the reservoir of good feelings when conflict arises. Having access to humor and affection during a conflict is invaluable as it deescalates bad feelings that lead to a better understanding, perspective and maintaining ‘higher road’ functioning. But humor has to be grounded in dozens of ordinary day to day exchanges of emotional information and interests and supportive behavior to be effective. As both parents recognize their need for each other, the individual strengths they bring and the important role they each play in their child’s development, they will learn to support each other’s efforts in being the best partner and best parent they can be.



Elements of Positive Partnerships: The following elements of successful partnerships are summarized from John Gottman’s SEVEN PRINCIPALS TO MAKING MARRIAGE WORK but have been amended to include the application of mindful practices.

1. Creating Love Maps: as we discussed in session six, our partners also have a history

of impactful people and events that have contributed to their own internal working models. Take the time to get to know your partner, be present without judgement. Session six REFLECTIONS was meant to start the process of creating opportunities for further discovery. Make it a habit.

2. Nurture fondness and admiration: - consider the qualities that originally

drew them to their partners and the wonderful memories and history they have created together prior to baby. Focus on their partner’s strengths, not their weaknesses; remember their partners deserve respect and kindness.

3. Turn toward each other rather than away or against: every day,

people make attempts at connection. These are called ‘bids for emotional connection’. Mindfully choose to turn toward your partner with love and kindness embracing their ‘bidding’ attempts without judgement.

4. Honor your partner’s perspective: create an atmosphere that encourages

each other to communicate and listen honestly and openly. Using COAL, approach each other with kindness. Practice empathetic and attentive listening.

5. Approach conflict with kindness and love: use COAL and attentive and

empathetic listening and responding (covered in Maintaining Healthy Communication) when finding yourself in opposition. Approach their partner with Curiosity, Openness, Acceptance and Love. Soften the delivery of whatever message needs to be delivered. Be willing to tolerate each other’s faults; focus on strengths and be open to compromise.

6. Let your partner influence you: let their spouse/partner know that their

opinions matter and that they are both part of the same team.

7. Create shared meaning: understand important dreams and visions for the future,

share in the plan to get there. Parents who are in nurturing relationships with their partners have more positive energy for their child/children and their partners. Babies learn about relationships by mimicking how their parents model connection in their relationships. In this context it is important to note that the quality of the relationship between the parents has an important impact on the child’s behavior. In fact, that relationship becomes the blueprint for all future intimate relationships. Children learn to organize their behavior through experiencing themselves as a partner.



Heart-Centered Dialogue – Elements of Positive Partnerships:

What sorts of things do the mothers do to foster continued exploration in their relationship?

What sorts of things do they do to nurture fondness and admiration?

What sorts of things do they do to create an atmosphere that supports open communication?

How do they let their partner know their perspective matters?

What are their shared visions of the future together and as a family?

Maintaining Healthy Communication:

Stay Connected While things may seem fine, lack of involvement and communication increase distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there. Take a few minutes each day that are ‘yours’ – just your partner and you.

Wind down talk about your day.

Make ‘date night’ a priority, it doesn’t have to cost much, picnic dinner on the beach, watch a movie holding hands or schedule time to go for a walk – just reconnect and remember why you chose each other.

Create a bucket list and periodically check something off.

Find a reason to physically touch each other every day; gentle hand, kind kiss or hug.

Manage Conflict

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it

doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.”Brene Brown

The key in a strong relationship is not to be fearful of conflict.

Be honest, be mindful of tone and embrace your vulnerability.

Take the time to practice attentive and empathetic listening – hear what they are saying with a calm heart.

Before you respond ask yourself:





Facilitator Note: Have the mothers repeat the above phrases as part of the Heart-Centered Dialogue section. Take a moment to have a quick discussion about the powerful nature of the above phrases and how repeating these phrases could create compassionate space to keep them on the’ high road’. See questions below.

Supportive language and nonverbal cues such as eye contact, focused attention, leaning forward or touching someone’s arm—are important parts of engaging.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/brenebrown553081.html

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/brenebrown553081.html

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/brene_brown.html



Whatever the ending – thank your partner ‘with the deepest gratitude’ for loving enough and caring enough to share.

Maintain Friendships Dan Siegel often emphasizes that happiness in relationships is the outcome of the balance between a healthy sense of autonomy and comfort with interdependence and intimacy. When each partner expresses too much of either autonomy or over dependence, there is risk of losing balance and harmony.

No one person can be everything or everyone in a relationship.

Having outlets takes the pressure off your partner.

Baby is important, but maintaining friends, interests and activities outside your immediate relationship;

strengthens your social network;

increases your confidence,

provides perspective,

and stimulates your relationship with your partner.

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither

can we find love or joy.”

~ Walter Anderson

Maintain Physical Intimacy Physical touch is a critical part of being human. Studies have shown the importance of regular, loving touch and holding on brain development in infants. These benefits extend throughout our lives. Life without the intimate connection of touch with others is a lonely life. Loving, caring and intimate touch actually boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, which is a hormone that influences bonding and attachment. In committed relationships between two adult partners, physical intercourse creates a closeness that is not often matched. Having a child does alter the dynamics, energy level and interest at first. Physical intimacy is an important part of being in a committed relationship. However, regular, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, or kissing—are equally important.

Finding Humor/Have Fun “Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.”

~ Allen Klein "You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance."

~ W. Somerset Maugham Humor enlarges the space around the conflict to provide perspective. It:

Evokes our Common Humanity and binds us together.

Can address even the most sensitive relationship issues, such as sex, in-laws or different parenting strategies.

A well-timed joke or comment can ease tension and help resolve disagreements.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/walterande183073.html

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/walterande183073.html

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/walter_anderson.html



Humor can reframe a problem and help take hardships in stride.

It relieves physical tension, relaxes the body, lowers blood pressure and provides the ability to refocus on the importance of being in a partnership.

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Communication

Have they noticed a change in the way they communicate with their partner since baby has been born?

What do they do to stay connected with their partner?

In session six, we spoke about attentive listening; responding mindfully is just as important. How do the nature of the following phrases relating to responding in a discussion create space to keep mothers on the ‘high road’?

Before you respond ask yourself:





How do they think maintaining relationships with friends helps their relationship with your partner? What have they found to be difficult about attempts to maintain friendships?

How many laugh with their spouse or partner on a regular basis? How does their mind, body and self-feel when they connect and laugh together?

The Power of Gratitude: Lerner and Ketlner (2000, 2001) show that gratitude focuses our attention on others (e.g. instead of believing we control our fate, we start looking at others as agents of change in our lives). Gratitude has been shown to shift focus to the positive and in doing so reduces levels of stress by activating the parasympathetic nervous system.

Stress has been shown to disrupt healthy body functioning (i.e. disrupting the hypothalamic-pituitary axis, the immune system, our sleep, etc…) so being able to reduce that stress is important to our health as individuals and for the health of our families.

Studies show, children who have a secure base and whose parents are attuned to them are much more willing to part with their possessions, are more generous and less envious of the wealth of others.

Gratitude and Mindfulness: A daily gratitude self-guided meditation exercise resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to those who focused on hassles or a downward social comparison.

Keeping a gratitude journal a on a weekly basis showed that people felt better about their lives as a whole and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).



Being grateful activates Self-Compassion by enhancing our ability to empathize, reducing aggression and our own negativity bias. It activates our connection to Common Humanity by accepting differences and opening the door to additional more diverse relationships. Connecting with others is essential as it reduces our feelings of being alone. People who are grateful have improved self-esteem as they tend to extend the same kindness to themselves that they do to others and that kindness to themselves reduces social comparisons which tends to activate self-criticism.

We all have the capacity to cultivate gratitude so choose to create space to be grateful.

Cultivating Gratitude Take the time to notice specific new things you are grateful for every day. Gratitude journals work because they slowly change the way we perceive situations. Getting back to Rick Hanson’s ‘Take in the Good’ in session five, it takes practice to override our brain’s natural negativity bias.

It isn’t enough to say “I’m grateful for my family” you need to take the time to notice the ‘specific things that make you grateful for your family’ such as:

“My heart soared watching my kids quietly build Legos together, respectfully and lovingly today”.

“My husband rubbed my hands as we sat quietly watching TV tonight – it was incredibly soothing as the days stress slipped quietly away. I felt an overwhelming sense of connectedness and love. ”.

Write down the specific thing you are grateful for.

Take a mindful deep breath and pause while you reflect.

Engage your partner in gratitude: Giving is as good as receiving with regard to gratitude.

Look for opportunities to be grateful about things your partner does.

Include the ‘why’ you are grateful. ‘Thank you for taking the kids for the afternoon, it gave me a chance to focus on my project.’

Look for the positives in a negative situation; “I’m running late” – thanks for calling and letting me know.

Leave surprise ‘thinking of you/thank you notes’.

Praise your partner publically.

Science has demonstrated that we can alter the pathways in the brain by consciously remembering the good. Being grateful builds positive emotion and will change your brain and outlook.



Heart-Centered Dialogue - Gratitude

How do they know when they are appreciated?

How do they deal with the feelings they have when they feel appreciated?

Do they take the time to notice and acknowledge those things that make them happy and inspire gratitude with in them?

Do they take the time to let their loved ones know they are grateful or do they treat it like ‘they should be doing that’?

How do they deal with the feelings that arise as a result of not feeling appreciated?

How often do they let their partners know how grateful they are to have them in their lives?

Pause for Practice – Letter of Gratitude and Appreciation to Oneself Women are natural nurturers and tend to be the heart-center of the family. Mothers specifically, often overlook their own importance, are seldom recognized by family members for the firm foundation they provide and downplay their own role in their family. Taking the time to step back, identify those things that make us happy and embrace what we are grateful for and appreciate about ourselves, takes practice. We tend to look for appreciation from others and project outward when others do not provide us the gratitude we consciously or unconsciously think we deserve. This tends to lead to frustration, anger and shuts down listening. Gratitude is a mindset and it takes practice to overcome our natural negativity bias. Practicing gratitude is a form of self-soothing. When mothers are in a ‘soothing state of mind’ they are better to be able to present not only for their child and partner but for themselves. Pass out paper and a pen. Take two minutes to write detailed answers for each of the questions below, to be completed in group:

What are the mothers grateful for in their lives?

What do they most appreciate about themselves?



Pause for Practice – Love and Gratitude to Baby, Oneself and Partner “Skillful care giving depends on balance: the balance between love and compassion for oneself and love and compassion for another” Sharon Salzberg, from the book REAL HAPPINESS. Facilitator guide this reflective practice.

Have mothers take note of their feelings, sensations and thoughts prior to beginning this exercise.

Start with closing your eyes. Put your hand on your heart or on your belly if you are called to do so. Taking a deep breath in and hold for four, breathing in hope and happiness. Hold your breath for a count of five. Breathe out for a count of six, breathing out tension and the heaviness of any responsibilities.

Repeat the round of 4-5-6 breathing two times. Invite mothers to return their breath to normal if they are called to do so. Invite mothers to repeat the following phrases to themselves after you read them aloud.

I am grateful for the miracle of this new baby. I am grateful for the awareness that has been awakened with this new life. I am grateful for the path that lies ahead and all the experiences that we will share together. I am grateful for the love and appreciation I have found for myself. I am grateful for my health and my commitment to embrace and attend to my own needs. I am grateful for my ability to manage my expectations and enjoy every moment of this journey. I am grateful for the love, support and friendship of my partner and family. I am grateful for the perspective and insight my partner and family provide. I am grateful for the beauty of our new family and the journey we will all share together.

Heart-Centered Dialogue: Love and Gratitude

Take a few moments to discuss what mothers wrote about being grateful appreciate about themselves and did they find it difficult? Why?

Did the sensations in their bodies changes as a result of the gratitude exercise?

How do you think these reflective statements change our mindset?

Did they want to alter the grateful statements after they have had a chance to complete the Love and Gratitude exercise?

How often do they find time to acknowledge the things that make them happy?

Do they find they spend more time reflecting on what went wrong or attempting to ‘fix’ something. (Five positives to override a single negative).

How can they begin to cultivate a grateful state of mind?



Group Reading: Poem – Gratitude Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~ Melody Beattie

Next Week’s Focus Next week’s focus review the programs highlights and associated mindful practices, Circle of Security and emotional realization. End the session with group photo and woven circle.

Deepening Your Awareness at Home Encourage mothers to complete the session seven REFLECTION exercise and read the following articles to further explore lesson material that will provide an opportunity for reflection and introspection.

Session Seven Reflections:

Reflect on what you are grateful for surrounding your baby and partner.

What specific things are you grateful for that your partner brings to your relationship?

Based on the discussion of John Gottman’s elements of successful partnerships, how are you contributing to the success of your partnership?

Plan to focus on one specific thing you are grateful for each day.

Readings for Session Eight: A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day By: John Tierney Published: NY Times November 21, 2011 Understanding the Science of Gratitude By: Joel and Michelle Levey. Published: Huffington Post July 11, 2011. The Benefits of Journaling, Purcell, M. (2006). The Health Benefits of Journaling. Psych Central

Online Hand Out:


In Group Sharing – Session Eight Invite mothers to bring in something next week that is meaningful to them. It could be small, large, tangible or intangible and invite them to share why it is that is meaningful to them.



Closing Ritual – Weaving the Circle With participants have them touch their string and recite a word that resonates with them that will carry them through the week as a result of this week’s class. An additional option: A complementary activity is to write down each of the words identified each week and compile and send them to the mothers at the very end of the group. It crafts a living poem over the course of the eight week series.

End of Session Summary: Between your sessions, bridge the gap between the days before your next group by emailing a summary of what was covered in the prior session, a gentle reminder to practice their mindful pauses, as well as attempt to deepen their awareness by taking an opportunity to fill in the Reflection exercises and read the attached articles. This summary also provides an invitation for a mom that might be struggling to contact you directly, assess their state and refer them out if necessary.

session seven - home - community of mindful parenting · 2018. 6. 28. · this week’s focus...

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